Most important is the question of why you want to have kids. As for Joie, she want to have kids because she finds joy in nurturing them, tying their hair/buying clothes for them etc. But if your decision of having a kid is based on societal expectations, fear of feeling lonely when you’re older etc., I think it is best to sit down with your partner and re-consider your decisions. Past traumas/state of our society now are definitely additional triggers for people to consider whether to have/not have kids. My view is that if one feels that they are not happy of how things are going on in the world right now, no matter how financially capable that person is, they should re-consider having a kid.

As someone moving towards the life stage where I need to consider things like family and having kids, this episode was so refreshing and reassuring to me. I share a lot of the same sentiments and I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one. I’m also so impressed at the level of self awareness and reflection through the convos facilitated, while also having pockets of humour here and there!! ❤

Having kids or not is a very personal choice and decision. Bottom line is it should never be for selfish reasons. Giving birth and bringing kids up is a very heavy responsibility and privilege as well.

personally, having a kid (or more) is a fate worse than death. Never wanted to have kids. Never will.

my parents gave me a very memorable childhood memories, between childhood versus adulthood, I miss childhood the most. I always end up running into traumatic teachers for both my psle and n level, for primary six my teacher was the type they make use of student's progress to climb her way up, she made studying extremely complicated to the point I fell ill and admitted to hospital, was told I have thyroid but couldn't take medication due to young age, my stress capability was only 25% and due to the unnecessary stress given by the teacher as she gave me extra remedial, I couldn't cope with stress and fell ill which I ended up repeating primary six. so when I was seventeen taking n level, again had a teacher who added extra stress, extending classes, extra work, it started off with having doing homework till past midnight, then it got worse as even I burn midnight oil, its impossible to finish, I ended up crumbling as my stress capability was only 20% as told by my doctor. not only that, I was bullied by my class as they kept laughing that I put on weight, it started off by stealing my textbook, which ended up moving my table to another part of the school. putting trash in my bag, following me home, and every pe lesson they would kick the soccer ball and hit my head, I remember the very last time when I got hit in the head, the kicked the soccer ball into the sky and bam I got hit in the head, which I nose bleed, there after I forgot my way home and eventually I had trouble walking normally. I only went for English papers for n level as I was so depressed, I start having phobia towards maths probably because when I injured my head I probably had brain injury, I had trouble understanding, so my math teacher got fed up with me and directed me to ask classmates for instead, some would help but its not ideal to always ask them for help. eventually I stopped going to school as the bullying got worse, and brain injury made walking to school even harder as I tried leaving for school an hour early to walk to school and ended up late, when previously it took me less than ten minutes to get to school. and when I had trouble standing after sitting down as I dont have leg muscle due to the brain injury, nobody shows empathy, I even had teacher standing next to me insisting me to stand when I had trouble standing because my brain cant send the signals to my leg. then I got chicken pox, there's a few teacher told me not to go near pregnant teacher stating I would cause the death of their babies. now as an adult, I dont get why did these teacher told student in such a manner. it was frustrating, eventually I stopped going to school because I got tired of dealing with the bullying and having teacher telling me not to go near pregnant teacher, I didn't go for majority of the n level papers, and didnt further my studies, I coped myself at home. I was at my wits end and at the lowest point of my life. it wasn't my parents but the teachers gave me traumatic life experiences.and the classmates who gave me traumatic brain injury which damaged my pituitary gland. which also caused issue to my eye alignment, and recently a optician said I might go blind. sometimes I kinda wish when it happened, would be great if could claim from school insurance, as my parents are struggling pretty badly especially towards their aging, I wasn't able to get a job as due to the brain injury, I always had brain fog, always forgetting simple task. im unable to earn a living for myself.

Life is unpredictable. Another one of the hundred billion not to bring living being into the world. Your offsprings has many more opportunities to experience pain than pleasure. Life is a mistake. End that mistake.

Really like Nic’s comments and analysis

omg i really love joie how is she so effortlessly funnY HAHAHAHAHA

Unless you’re preparing to pass your legacy to unrelated people upon death. My boy is my pride and joy. He appreciates our hardship. Personally, it’s rewarding not saying without challenges. This is love. Love comes with sacrifices If so calculative then live your own world.

if im not wrong, majority of the millennials doesn't want kids due to they had to bare all the responsibilities before when they were a kid. im a gen z while my sis is millennials. my mom ever asked her why she doesnt want to settle down or have a kids, her answer were simply just dont want to have kids. we felt that probably because when we're a kid, she had to bare the burden to take care of me, if failed to do so for example like if I got injured, she had to bare the caning. she often got angry because I always get the things I want. esp when she lost me while we were out at the toys section in the department store, she had to bare the scoldings. as we grew older, we never talked to one another even till now there's barely any convo probably due to the age gap and preference. I injured my brain when I was in sec4, which I totally forgot until 8/9 years later which was this year. prior, she always got into argument with my mom as she's the one providing for the family as me and mom are not working, Im not working as I injured my brain due to getting hit by ball during pe lesson, which I completely forgot else back then probably able to claim those medical fees that my mom have been paying with her life savings as school do provide insurance. but im 8/9 years late as I only recall everything this year. I felt rather bad for my mom as when she was pregnant with me, she got sacked as her boss doesnt want to pay for maternity leave. since then she became a full time housewife. when I injured my brain, she didnt know as I completely forgot that I injured my brain, she was upset that I simply doesnt want to go school, and in the recent years when I chatted with her about it, I realised I didnt told her I was bullied by classmates which even got followed home as they came knocking on my main door, injured my brain as got hit by soccer ball and lost my way home frequently. all these while I completely forgot about these part until earlier this year my doctor said my pituitary glad is damaged. so I google searched and found it was due to brain injury, I couldn't recall but few months later I dreamt of the entire incident which I recalled every single thing happened that year, if im not wrong this is called flashback. which my family became much understanding, as prior my father and sister always got into heated argument on why im not getting a job, which there's once she screamed at them and said its because I injured my brain, if someone were to be perfectly fine, would be like my sis, come home late at night with lots of activities instead of staying at home, because when my mom was around our age, she seldom stays at home too.

Kids r not competitive. The schools r not competitive. Parents r the ones being competitive.

I love how it went from all the fabulous holidays and experiences I want to enjoy as a single to ‘Seeing how the world is today do you think it’s responsible to have kids?’ The... self-awareness is awesome.

One aspect of this issue that was not touched on, which has a very big domino effect, is that of the national perspective. As more couples have less children, SG will progressively have a smaller workforce while the economy has to be larger than it is today as the rising costs of living, of healthcare, of supporting a super aged society, of building, maintaining and upgrading the national infrastructure for a more advanced digital world etc, will all add a huge amount of financial pressure on the country, the citizens, and the government of that time. And that's just the economy. There will also be extra security concerns as the armed forces, the police force, and the civil defence, will all have less manpower as a result of an even lower birth rate. We have to start to learn how to think deeper, and look further, because a lot of life-changing decisions that we make as individuals, can have significant effects on the world around us. We don't live in a bubble where everything that affects us stays in that bubble.

joie u got cut off hahahaahha... i want to know why u like tuition!!!!!!!! i don't mean to scream😂

really like rhis

One of the reasons I have decided not to have kids is that you can only experience suffering if you exist. If you don't exist, you don't experience suffering. I'm grateful for my parents but all things considered, I would prefer to never have existed. It's a cliché that nobody asked to be born, but it's true. By choosing not to have children, you don't bring another being who can experience suffering into the world, thereby minimising the net potential suffering. You can channel your time and resources into helping the people in your community who already exist and are struggling.

SHEEEEESH it’s giving early first comment vibes.

Having lived in Singapore for the past twenty years and being born and raised in Canada while visiting the US over the years, I'm pretty sure the it's not as safe as SG. The looting and theft alone is a pause for concern. Just KZfaq it and you can see the conditions in SF, PDX etc. Grass is always greener on the other side.

Dink is a myth imo. Couples that go that route get bored pretty quickly after 2 or 3 years of marriage. It’s a pretty isolated kind of lifestyle and you both have to be really really introverted to keep it up over the years. There’s only so much traveling, eating, and what not before you get bored. Kids add depth to your relationship. Struggles is what make people either bind closer together or break up. If you’re not pushing your relationship to its limits, then I think both will just grow apart eventually. The couples that stay together tend to have children. Because children add purpose and meaning to your lives as a couple. Raising them together is how you end up loving each other.

The world is getting way too competitive for kids plus with the advent of AI more and more jobs will be replaced. With rising cost of living, I find that putting out another version of me is pretty selfish. Unless you can guarantee that your kid is a genuis and already know what his passion in life. Its hard ro fathom having a kid at this age and time. Also cant guarantee your kids wont suffer from mental defects (worked at MINDS before) and i watched the kid plus parent suffer on the daily. PTSD seh. So me married will stay childless. (If i die my money will go to cat welfare society)

Before you even think of settling down, getting married and having children, you must ask yourself this one question: what are you prepared to sacrifice?

I suppose childhood memories play a huge role for millennials on whether they want to have kids. my sis didnt want to have kids mainly because guys she used to dates tend to have lower wage and different qualification, but mainly different mindset as for her she didnt want to have a child. my cousin on the other hand wanted children because of my mom. she ever told my aunt that she wanna be just like my mom, looking after kids, but she realised after having one, she cant quit and be a stay at home mom due to her husband earning less than her, it would cause financial problem in the future especially now they have two kids. for me, Im a gen z kinda wanna have kids, but I dont have job or income due to brain injury sustained when I was in sec4, I dont have a partner and im giving my parent financial burden due to my medical expenses. which my parents were worried that if they weren't around in the future *touchwood* i probably would live in the street as they realised the flats they're paying cant be given to children. as all along when they're paying for the flats, they thought it would be passed down to us. because for both paternal and maternal grandma both left their flats to both side uncles as the flats were fully paid as back then these flat were less than $10k.

I disagree on the certain % given to parents. They raised us up, it’s natural to give back. My parents do it as “savings” (for us) at the end of the day they still support us

I agree why call them veggies ? r u vegan ? Do parents see kids as an investment?! Have you heard of parents refering to their kids as ROI ? sigh... I would also call my daughter liz for lizard for most points as stated, no kids. but if it happens so be it. that said. if there is another 2nd part to this discussion. food for thought to all 3 of you. would you guys go ask your partner to do DNA and STD testing ? just to make sure how would you deal with what ifs... therefores. like dna test for family hereditary diseases. then comes to the questions like would what ever comes can you live with what ever might happens ?

I want kids but my fiance doesn't, he's bipolar and it's probably best that we don't pass it down to our kids

I never wanted kids but i just can’t put my finger on why - probably parents? hmmmm need some inward digging

Thank God for this conversation. Everyone these days all dont want kids. Depressing. Having kids is a natural progression and not about choosing or not.

I think 90% of my married friends have kids. You’re just in the minority few that don’t.

CPF = Child provident fund

The self-centered life is very real today. Having children is part of development of life and character.

Don’t worry guys. Many have done before you, and many will continue after you. No one is going to be impacted by whether you have children or not. I feel these conversations reveal how innately selfish you are, honestly. It’s all about me, me, me. Having children is ultimately about them. Not you. Also, have an appreciation that WHEN you do have them, you may not be able to. They’re a blessing, not a burden. If you’re worried about your life being impacted, then don’t have them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Errr.....you don't WANT to have children. It's part of your role in being human....its like asking why I like to breathe......some choices impact our existence immediately some in the long run.....