As a current UFC fighter who has been a professional for close to 15 years, it's definitely a fear that exists. Especially when you have a family and children. But when you give your life to chasing a dream you feel like you are betting on yourself against the clock. We laugh at our shared forgetfulness and those small little tell tale signs because for a dream we all are willing to risk everything. Despite the possibility of what lies ahead. Just my two cents

Rip to all of the forgotten boxers that put their lives on the line to give the people in the crowd a show of their lives. Its heartbreaking knowing that most of their great grandchildren don't even know who they were and how revered they were in their time. I hope that theyre doing what they love in the next life.

I played football for 12 years and was told I more than likely have CTE. It took a doctor looking me in the eye and telling me "do you want your mother wiping your ass at 20 and be a vegatable!?," and I had to quit doing the thing that gave me purpose. This sport that I loved so much, and thought I was only sacrificing some time that I would have probably spent partying anyway, had actually taken my whole life from me. I couldnt focus or walk into bright rooms I forgot basic math equations, got to the point where I had people telling me that I wasnt myself anymore. My girlfriend and I split in part due to these things and I still forget what im saying and doing all the time. Its been almost ten years and while some things have gotten a little better others have got worse and I have to supplement with chemicals so my brain works correctly. Stepping onto that field or into that cage (or any impact sport) you are risking leaving part of yourself out there...

As a psychiatric nurse, been working in mental health for 20yrs. I have seen alot. And it’s a very serious thing, especially when there’s no family. No one to support you. People should consider this when entering into combat sports. But those who do have family. They should consider the possible future, not only for themselves, but those around them. I also have personal experience of caring for my grandfather who had Alzheimer’s for over 10 years… I can tell you, it destroys not just the person but those around them. It took a heavy toll on my mother who quit her job to care for him. Every day was Groundhog Day. My only comfort was my grandfather eventually was not aware he was lost. Eventually he stopped asking where my grandmother was after she died, and we just told him she had gone on a trip. I do believe his last years with us were happy. Which is all any of us could hope for.

I have a feeling that Tony Ferguson is going to be one of the worst cases of CTE coming out of this generation of fighters. He was already struggling and doing questionable / aggressive stuff before his last two brutal fights. He takes incredible amounts of damage, and the UFC continues to feed him to killers. I hope I’m wrong, but Tony worries me the most amongst active fighters.

I used to play hockey, and got two severe concussions. After the last one i started losing my balance a lot easier, and had to stop playing after a while, suddenly i started getting vertigo a year and a half later. Two years later i was diagnosed with meniers disease after numerous doctors telling me it was migraines.. Now I'm almost deaf in one ear, dizzy af on a daily basis, blurry vision even with glasses, and at least once a month I get migraines and vertigo that can last for anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple of days at the most, i trip over my own legs while standing still, irritable as hell and annoyed over the smallest stuff and self loathing for being this way, and my short term memory is so bad it's sometimes embarrassing, not to mention a bit scary. Things people said yesterday are brand new when mentioned today, and even then I can't say with 100% honesty that I remember it now that they mention it.. I'm 35, and it's now 6 years since my last concussion. The thought of how it will be when I'm 40 and my daughter is 6 scares the hell out of me. I just hope this is as bad as it gets.. Thanks for the therapy session, please send an invoice and I'll make sure my assistant pays it by 4 pm on Monday

Chasing a dream you may or may not remember by the time you're 50 is crazy.

After training boxing seriously for years, meaning a lot of hard sparring, I became an amateur boxer for about a year; I became pretty active during that year, doing 12 fight, and I realized quickly that fighters, no matter what’s their level, all choose to put their health on the side, and put their life at risk. You realize it first when you go to a gym that trains fighters, sparring hard multiples times a week, brain damage starts here. In my amateur fights I always was cautious and made sure I didn’t get punch too bad, but so many of us were taking heavy shots, even thinking at what I landed on my opponents, people really don’t realize what fighters take in the head. Without mentioning the many injuries to joints and the damages to hands hitting repeatedly the heavy bag. Then I had to decide, keep going what I wanted to experience knowing I would risk my health more and more facing stronger and more experienced opponents, keep sparring and damaging my brain over again, or leaving it here and securing my health. It was not such a tough decision for myself because I never seriously dreamed to be a champion, I was just doing it for the experience. But anyone who wishes to fight even as an amateur must understand this : there is no other way, if you fight, you pay the price with your health.

As a physical therapist working in a nursing home, I feel that potential career fighters should do mandatory volunteer work at a nursing home to be see what dementia really looks like. Taking off your own soiled diaper and putting it in your dresser drawer, shitting yourself while someone else is showering you, having someone feed you purée meatloaf while your trying to grip a child’s sippy cup, eating latex gloves, forgetting that you have children even when they’re standing in front of you, or using a toothbrush to brush your hair is IMO a fate worse than death.

Mark Hunt is exactly right, he fought and often won against a bunch of juiced up cheaters, and I think the UFC never appreciated him as much as they should have. He's a true legend.

Watched my mother succumb to this horrible disease. It was brutal. Moving her out of her life long home and into a dementia purpose nursing home. I was with her, in her room, at the nursing home for her final 72 hours as her organs progressively shut down until the death rattle breath commenced and eventually she passed away. 2 years was all it took. I feel the pain and guilt today - 10 yrs later.

Well, this was a real downer before tomorrow nights PPV 😆but in all seriousness, amazing, amazing work, and thank you for letting me be a part of it. Phenomenal work mate

This is why gsp said "get out when your still young and at the top, don't wait till it's too late." I'm surprised you didn't add the GSP situation, his memory gaps and him adding it up to aliens

What an ending. Feels like there’s not enough truly moving and emotional UFC videos out there. The quick compilation of seeing fighters dreams become reality was excellent, and then the quick cut back to the reality of this video was so well done. Great video, amazing end

I'm pretty sure I have CTE and have had it for more than 10 years now. The memory loss is nothing compared to the damage it will cause the relationships that are closest to your heart. Its caused me to destroy the relationship i had with my daughter and everyone else in my family. My siblings wont even associate with me anymore and the friends I had back before my mental issues started they dont want anything to do with me and I dont blame them. The violent mmod swings can and are extremely dangerous for anyone to be around. Hearing people tell me some of the stupid things I've said and done are embarrassingto say the least. Maybe I deserve this but those close to me don't and shouldn't have to worry about me doing something stupid because of some paranoid fueled rage I happen to have convinced myself they did.

I started training Muay Thai about 7 months ago and they’re lightly trying to push me into fighting and they kept asking me why I keep saying no and I finally said to my coach who’s been training for 14 years and is an active fighter “you aren’t worried about all the head trauma that comes with fighting?” He looked at me like I was crazy and said “no, you don’t need to worry about that if you have a good defense” I know better. I’m not looking to be a fighter, just to learn some self defense. Even coming in for sparring I’d go home with a headache from head blows and knew fighting wasn’t for me. I’m not willing to sacrifice the health of my brain for the temporary adrenaline rush of fighting. A lot of people need to get out of their own way, ignorance isn’t an excuse. To each their own

Fighting is the cruelest mistress one can ever have. The ring is like a drug, time stops, everything starts to happen in slow motion. Tunnel vision sets in and the world around you ceases to exist. This is a high like no other and nothing has ever made me feel more alive.

CTE is the reason bare-knuckle boxing was infinitely better. Without hand protection, the fighters had to focus on body blows lest they break their own hands.

Not only brain issues, but torn ligaments, tendons, broken bones, dislocated joints just to name a few and most of the time everytime we choke someone out or knock someone out there is a some part in our mind being fearful whether the person is critically injured or not. Its a brutal sport which makes your lifestyle something you have to live with

I feel like I just watched an award winning documentary. Very moving and impactful. Bravo!

I used to be a CNA who worked in a dementia ward a few years back, we had a famous boxer from the 20's who was probably the most humble guy I've ever met. His daughter would come and visit every month or so for his evaluation/checkup. Having heard so many stories from him and his daughter about his fights and how he kept fighting to put food on the table for them even with severe brain damage is a heartbreaker. Thank you for making this video and bringing up CTE and the severity of Dementia.

When people say they know what they’re getting themselves into in regards to the consequences…. No, they don’t. They really really don’t. I had a stroke at 27. Since then life has been hell. Rapid mood swings, dissociative episodes, confusion/forgetfulness, dizzy episodes, loss of sense of self/where I am, lack of word expression ( I constantly use the wrong words when speaking). You think you’re willing to take that risk until you deal with the consequences. Who you are, how you feel - everything you know about yourself and the world is not a constant. It will go eventually, being it by death of the body or of the mind. And progressively having the latter is extremely terrifying.

Guys, thank you so much for this! The way you did it, with so much empathy. I haven't cried in a long time. But you really took me on a journey here, and it was a good one, a much needed one.

this was a beautifully crafted video that i have put off watching for far too long, made me feel something special. thank you. you are appreciated for your dedication and mastery with editing, research, vocal inflection and stylistic depth. thank you.

That dementia part hit me hard. My grandfather had dementia and the way that movie portrays the way people with dementia act and behave is incredibly accurate. Brought me to tears. What a horrible way to go

Can I share a quick personal story around this topic? When I was in my teens and 20s I was determined to become a championship level boxer. At my best I was a bit of the club's 'next potential up-n-coming thing' so i was on a real track to something. One of the real up-and-coming prospects was a great big heavyweight kid and we got along pretty good. He wasn't the smartest kid in the world but a good guy and definitely on the way up with lots of 'buzz' about how far he would go. I dropped out of boxing. I just couldn't work a laborious job AND try and put in the effort needed. I think the gym was disappointed in me. Years later, there is this thing with men who were once 'potential' in sports or were achieving higher levels but sidelined to whatever injuries or life changes: We get it in our heads. I know I COULD have been.. I was SO CLOSE... for sure IF ONLY I had stuck in another year I'd be... and then men get into a terrible rut of regrets. Every disappointment in life is somehow linked back to the imagined success in the sport. IF ONLY I'd kept boxing I wouldn't be short on my mortgage payment. Even relationships get involved. "She'd probably something differently if I was a little famous for boxing..." and all this. I write all that because I think someone reading this KNOWS this and can identify with this but I'm also hear to tell you I was utterly and completely CURED of any regrets, any further self-pity, any further living-in-the-past, all cured, gone forever and here's how: 20 years later, it's a small world after all because I just so happen to run into that Heavyweight Kid. Well, he's no kid, he's 40 and he's working as a diner cook. He doesn't look good. This is like the plot of the movie 'The Wrestler' where he's actually still got the muscles but its rough, he's struggling, he smokes, he drinks, he's divorced, he has been in jail several times and yet he says he's still sort of active in boxing with his last fight being just 2 years earlier. It turns out he spent most of his heavyweight career being 'a potential top guy' and what would happen is he'd get bouts with more advanced rankings climbing guys wanting a quality win and a good test. He'd put up a damn good fight and lose. I remembered back in the day he had a crazy solid chin. In a golden gloves final I remember him just getting nailed with shots over and over and he wouldn't go down. So much that he was wrongly labeled a kind of 'Rocky' (or think of the Simpsons episode) which wasn't correct because he was really a boxer-boxer. Wow that guy was durable though. Which was the death of him. He explained how he had a 50-50 record but almost all his losses were the last half of his run and in his 30s he had the ability to outbox opponents but he just didn't have the speed anymore. He says he never got knocked out (meaning, knocked unconscious aka floored, counted out) but many of his fights were stoppages when the ref just didn't want to see him take beatings round after round. That's a bad thing. That's a very bad thing. He was obviously experiencing 'CTE'. He was slow in speech and wit. He seemed to fumble for cigarettes and a lighter but forget he was going to smoke and seem surprised to find a cigarette and lighter in his hands a few minutes later. He had been fired from a dozen jobs. He would take breaks from boxing memories to tell me about the most trivial 'celebrity news' from 'People' magazine which, strangely, he had rolled up in his back pocket like he takes it with him. I learned later he had beaten up a coworker at a previous job after stabbing him. yes, stabbing him. Do you know how Mike Tyson has that thing where he's very likable, friendly and almost huggable and YET.. you can also see where Mike Tyson could become a dangerous problem IF something flips his switch the wrong way? This guy had that. A 'gentle giant' but that unpredictable factor where you'd really really not want to say the wrong thing to light him up. He was 40 so, realistically, things were not going to get better brain-wise. When he went back to his kitchen I could see he was slow. Not physically 'shaking' but like his body wasn't quite moving right. I realized that the entire time we talked, maybe an hour, even though I brought up things that would imply I was with him, that I knew places, names and events... ... I realized he didn't know who I was. Maybe he just thought I was a random stranger. I thanked God I am (for the most part) coherent. I know what things are. I have the usual brain function I ever had, I can read and comprehend most things, I'm able to do math, converse, figure out buttons (err.. usually). Right? After seeing what "could have" been me "if only" I really did become a solid professional boxer - I NEVER REGRETTED IT AGAIN. Never again. I'm grateful I had a stupid ass job that ended any possibility I would have been good enough to take 1000 punches to the head over decades. * keeping in mind, a lot of the "I could have been a contender!!" is just our own egos and fantasy and idealizing. Even still the point remains: boxing (or any head-hitting sports) are something people need to seriously weight and consider.

I love your narration and respectful treatment of the subject. Seemingly kind regard, yet never indulging the hypersensitive and overemotional response of so many other analysts. Nice one on that and fair play.

The irony is that 10-20 years from now nobody will remember that they were a champion.

Man I’m crying right now. This hit hard. I feel like my brain is messed up from playing football, fighting, and drug use. I ruin relationships with my anger and I’m alone with these intrusive thoughts daily.

I really worry about the Diaz brothers and especially Nick. He gave so much to the sport and he's struggling.

Martial Arts are about discipline and self-defense. UFC, ONE, Bellator, etc. are about entertainment and money at all costs. Remember that.

This video hit me hard, having just recently lost my father due to alcohol induced dementia and watching his decline for 15 odd years it's so heartbreaking to see its effects. My grandmother also died from dementia a few years ago now.... This has brought back alot of painful memories unfortunately and that song is haunting to my very soul as I do feel that this is how I myself will eventually go... I'm scared in all honesty.... Thank you for creating this video.

Until I watched this video, I always felt some type of way regarding my dad refusing my requests to put me in boxing as a child despite my straight A’s. He’d simply say “no, I don’t want to risk you ending up like Ali. I won’t support that”. I had to work a shitty job to afford MMA classes back during the first TUF. Trained for a couple of years, but quit before a chance to compete when I set off to college. Now that I’m in my early 30’s, living an average American middle class lifestyle, I often wonder about the “what ifs”. What if my folks supported my interest in combat sports early? Maybe, just maybe I would have a little slice of combat sports history to my name by now. It’s a thought that occasionally crosses my mind, but this video really provided a sense of closure for me. I’ve always been so focused on the highs that these fighters experience, the glory. Never have I bothered to see how the old heads like Goodridge are living, and damn was that an eye opener. I see what my dad was doing now, he was protecting me from this very likely condition regardless if I was successful or not in combat sports. RIP to your grandma, and my respects to any fighter risking it all in that cage/ring. I love this sport!

I train Muay Thai, and a couple years ago I got dropped in sparring with a spinning headkick that wasn't very hard, it just rocked me. Then I ran across a meme on CTE and decided to research it a bit. Ever since then I have quit sparring and only train it for the beauty of it, although I may not be as brave and strong as those warriors who go out there and fight, I'm content with my position and seeing this video gives me nothing but respect for these men and women who do this as a living

This was an incredibly informative video. Very well made as well, great job guys. As soon as The Caretaker’s piece was played I knew what it was as well. It’s so haunting it’s hard to forget once you hear it

After a few months of not wanting to see this video, I finally see it, it is devastating for someone who loves this sport, but the most important thing is that it is real. Thank you for posting this for the world to see.

It’s not just CTE, it’s shot knees, messed up elbows and a life of arthritis after the crowd is gone. I love the thrill of sparring and combat, just can’t push it too far. There’s nothing like it, you vs them in a winner take all. Even just imposing your ability over an opponent is such a rush. It’s so hard to explain it, but any other fighter will understand how it keeps you coming back for more.

Scheduled for .. 45 Rounds. 🥊🥊 What the 🤔

Thank you for this OUTSTANDING video documentary. Please keep up the great work 🙏

The total package of this documentary is excellent. The risks and realities, the need for honest information and education. And most of all, the freedom and opportunity for the rarest of men to pursue their warrior drive at any cost.

Something I think is related to this is Dominick Cruz, he said multiple times that he can’t afford to get permanent brain damage and that’s pretty much the only thing he fears, and his whole fighting style is based around that, every strike he throws is at some awkward angle that the opponent can’t retaliate against. His head is constantly off center and moving around

Lost my grandmother to dementia and Alzheimer’s last year. It is awful watching someone you love degrade into a husk of what they once were. Forgetting almost everything and seeing hallucinations all the time. Listening to them say vile things to you when you are only trying to help them. I wouldn’t wish that disease on anyone. Wonderful video explaining the risks these fighters are willingly take. Should make everyone appreciate what they do for our entertainment even more.

So every time we see a punch that connects and has a noteworthy effect, we may be witnessing delayed murder?

Really nice video editing! 30 seconds in I already knew I was going to like this. Just subbed

As a huge fan of MMA for over a decade now, I have to say that I will forever be haunted by this documentary from now on when I watch my favorite sport. That being said, I didn’t mean this as anything more than a compliment. This is something every single fan of the sport should watch as a price of admission for continuing to watch the beautiful violence that is mixed martial arts. Thank you so much for this video, it’s the best content I’ve seen on KZfaq in quite a while.

Might sound off topic but look what CTE did to the pro wrestler Chris Benoit. Wrestlers can actually take more concussions in a career than any combat fighter because of all the chair shots, whiplash on the matt, and in Benoit's case, his OWN finishing move the flying head-butt would routinely 'ring his bell' almost every match. His autopsy showed his brain was so damaged it looked like an elderly person with Alzheimer's.

Excellently made. Very insightful but also heartbreaking at times. As someone with a family history of extremely onset Alzheimer's I really appreciate the time skip over that section. I usually don't have to avoid the topic but based on the video up to that point I was sure it was going to be so well presented it would be too muxh for me

Everything at the end of time is such an extraordinary piece of art. I felt clicking onto this video and listening to it that it should be used in the background. The moment I heard heartaches I recognized it.

I stopped playing football cause of shoulder injuries. That was a blessing looking back

I've noticed a trend that after a fighter gets knocked out severely, their performance and career take a hard, permanent dive. Vitor Belfort, Anderson Silva and others exemplify this. It's as if you can witness the performance degradation from the concussive brain damage.

Very thoughtful and heartfelt that you mentioned the amateurs who didn't make the spotlight along with the well known fighters. Thanks

My biggest problem with the argument of "they know the risks" is that they aren't the only ones at risk. They're risking the safety of the very people who they purport to do this for. I think men want glory. And crowds love violence. But seeing these guys and their families suffer afterwards is heartbreaking. The 30 for 30 on Junior Seau is incredibly heartbreaking. Watching his kids without their dad at such a young age. It's brutal. Fighters need better pay but the UFC and all of these organizations need to commit to take care of these guys once they're alone and of no use to the organization. They're making billions of dollars on the backs of health and longevity but not doing a thing to help these guys later. I love the sport, but I'll be damned if this documentary didn't make me like it a lot less.

as a former football player i feel incredibly scared of CTE since i already feel effects of stage 1 and im only 27

this vid is a piece of art mate. hard to express how touching it is every time you think about how much those guys put on the line and you resumed it perfectly. cheers

I love this channel. The quality of each video is nothing less than excellent May our champions ve remembered as the true warriors they were.

This is one of the most moving documentaries I’ve ever seen. Hits close to home as a Muay Thai fighter and coach.

I was involved in a car accident when I was 18(5 years ago) and with this came many injuries. One of which being a bleed on the brain, it took a lot out of me having brain surgery. I have recovered and love this sport and wish I could of participated as I was a good boxer at the the time. I just want to say I really appreciate you making this video as I feel many are unaware what can happen with major head trauma In these great sports.

My son wanted to get into boxing at an early age of 17 and I was kind of concerned about it and was against it...but I knew once he turned 18 he would do it which is exactly what he did. He was a Golden Gloves boxer. I thought okay well he'll find out how hard it is. My (dad was a Golden Gloves champion also in which he told him how hard it is) Next thing I know his first year he goes Undefeated and wins a Championship. I talked to his coach and he said he's got an amazing long reach and power...but because he's big he can't move as quick as some. Well he boxed 2more years after ...but in the second year (which he was doing good with the sport) after 6 months we had to take him to the hospital because we thought he had the Flu.. well it turned out he was diagnosed with diabetes if we would of got there a day later he would of went into a Coma. So anyhow he stopped that year and just continued doing his Construction job. Then he decides to go back in it the third year...and he wanted to box in the middle weight class (he was super middle before) well he dropped weight to fast as for as I was concerned and only trained about 2 months for the Championship....but he went and fought in the Middle Weight class and did good , and when the day of the Championship came he was fighting a guy also that was undefeated and was trained by a friend of my son who knew everything about my son's style. So when the first round came they both were going back and forth. Then the second round and the opponent came in low and close and hit my son right inside of his head on the temple. And rocked him really good where the Ref had to give him a count . He said he was okay (which he wasn't) but he came in and still gave the guy one good right that backed him up and almost knocked him down. Then the guy did the same thing he did before and rocked my son again and the ref gave him a count and then looked in his eyes and called it off. That was the last time my son boxed ....but what I'm getting to is he talked with a doctor one day and mentioned that he boxed and stopped and the doctor told him it was a good thing he did because of his disease and taking to many shots in the head could be really bad for you. He was trying to fight with a concussion also which was not at all good. Doctor told him that it could be very dangerous if he continued boxing with what he was dealing with. People really really need to be careful with it ! A good example of what it could do is what's in this program and what happened to Tony (boogeyman) Ferguson. P.S. My son is now 35 with a beautiful baby boy and beautiful wife and has his own business. 👍 🇺🇸 🥊

Such a well done doc! Great job once again

This was a fascinating video, and put together as good as any documentary I’ve ever seen. Thanks so much for your content

I was studying neuropscych in 2010 and my professor told me, "If you like MMA, that's great... there is going to be a lot of opportunity for neuropsychologists and neurosurgeons to in that space in the future."

Glad to see more people being truly aware of the risks fighters take. Almost every fight is like getting into a car crash in terms of damaging your body. Thats why defence is my highest priority.

Great production here. Thanks for showing both sides of this sport we all love. We do need to understand what we are a part of.

My grandmother passed away a few years ago due to Alzheimer’s disease. Witnessing the first hand progression of the disease, which likely occurred due to trauma sustained during the 2nd world war and the fact that she had no so social support system, absolutely traumatized me. I’ve recently gotten into boxing and have done martial arts before, however I’m not sure what to do at this point. I never want to have to go through what my grandmother did, but boxing is very good for me physically and mentally. I don’t fight often, I really only spar once a month and usually practice shadowboxing and hitting the bag, but everytime I’m hit in the face during those infrequent sparring sessions I have a near panic attack.

I have no words for how incredibly moving this was. I am a psychology graduate currently in the process of applying for a PhD in clinical neuropsychology. I wrote my honours thesis on novel psychiatric symptoms after paediatric TBI. I've always been fascinated by the brain, but nothing has fascinated me as much as the effects of head injury, and it is ultimately the plight of athletes struggling with the aftereffects of repetitive head trauma that keeps me motivated in my studies. Alongside the children I wrote about in my thesis, they are the people who I see myself working with in my future career. Whether that be as participants in research, or as patients in a clinical setting, their experiences matter. Their stories matter. Despite the unequivocal message that the literature on head trauma is sending us, so many people are either unaware or unwilling to listen when it comes to handling the fallout of such injuries, and how it affects not just the patient, but their loved ones as well. I saw my grandmother spend her final years fighting Lewy body dementia. It still breaks my heart to think of how horrifying her last days must have been. Dementia with Lewy bodies causes vivid visual and auditory hallucinations - she would see children climbing into her window at night, and became so paranoid that she would lock every single door in the house when my parents weren't home. Contact and combat sports alike are making great steps forward in terms of protecting and supporting their athletes, but regarding the UFC there is still much to be desired about their treatment of fighters in general, which concerns me because everything ultimately leads back to their health and welfare, including how the promotion itself is structured. As nice as it was to hear that Dana White regularly gives donations to fund neurotrauma research, after what he did to Spencer Fisher I really have a lot of trouble seeing him in a positive light. It would mean so much more to myself and other researchers and allied health professionals if the UFC changed their pay structure to be more equitable, or if they were to give some other kind of ongoing support to fighters post-retirement. TL;DR - This documentary was fantastic. Not only was the production quality amazing, but you did a really excellent job of adequately explaining the science and history behind CTE in a format that a layperson can easily understand. Brilliant job :)

My grandfather suffered from vascular dementia. I'm glad he told me so many stories so many times; so then, I could tell them to him, at the end...

sincerely one of the greatest youtube video I've ever seen. You did a fantastic job.

I witnessed my beloved grandfather descend into horrible dementia in his final years, and it was genuinely heartbreaking. That being said, the entire family rose up to the challenge - we decided early on that we would never put him in a facility and that he would live with those he loved till the end. We cared for him like a saint, and he felt loved and cherished and was happy and grateful until he died.

I had a brief fight career in the 80s. It dawned on me one day that the rewards were not worth the risks. I stop officially fighting, but I was still in the gym sparring, I needed the rush. I would admit the adrenaline rush is hard to explain to non-fighters. I decided to hang up the gloves permanently, as any fighter would attest there is nothing to replace the rush of fighting. I found a replacement as a cop, here is the crazy part, during the most intense life-and-death scenarios that I encountered I realized I was getting the same rush making potentially deadly drug busts as I got throwing punches and kicks at a guy trying to hurt me. I later entered University to pursue degrees in psychology to attempt to understand the mind of fighters, firefighters, soldiers, and cops. It does not take rocket science to recognize the aforementioned people are a special breed of people who are not afraid to face death. Despite well-meaning people desiring to save fighters from brain damage etc., there will always be fighters be it in a ring, cage, or the streets of a city nearby, fighters will fight and disregard the risks, and yes the risks that may lead to death! Great work on this video!

Very long story here, but I think it's important for those of us who have experienced brain trauma to share our experiences. A lot of folks never worry about brain injury until it happens (I know I didn't), but damn near everyone is terrified when it does. This is why I stopped fighting amateur. I went into the sport with a history of head injuries from highschool football and from explosions in Iraq. I ended up eating a hard roundhouse that put me in the hospital as an inpatient for days. Scariest time of my life without question and my life includes fighting in the 2006 Battle for Ramadi. With that said, I would never tell someone not to fight. It was a great experience for me physically, mentally and emotionally. Fighting gave me a sense of purpose that I had been lacking since leaving combat arms and the discipline that martial arts requires helped me to center myself. However, while I have no regrets about fighting, I would never wish my end experience on anyone, not even my worst enemy. My advice to anyone getting into or fighting amateur right now is to be realistic with yourself. Don't take damage that you don't need to unless you are sure that it's a.) your dream and b.) you can realistically attain that dream. I was a key example of being unrealistic and harming myself. I took fights before I was fully recovered and pushed myself to stay in fights that I should probably have conceded because I was chasing the dream of becoming a pro. I was that fighter who was good enough to be just a small step away from becoming a pro, but never good enough to actually take the needed small step. Waking up in the ambulance and then spending almost a week at the hospital was a wakeup call for me. While there, I had trouble expressing ideas, trouble remembering things and trouble walking. I forgot I was in the hospital twice. I was with it enough to know that something was really, really wrong and I was terrified (had a panic attack terrified) that I would never recover. I did, for the most part, though my doctors believe my migraines, depression and memory issues are probably related to repeated head traumas. Would I do it all again? Honestly, yes. The discipline, friendships and purpose that MMA gave me helped me to get out of a really dark place battling PTSD and depression. I stayed in awesome shape, quit drinking and quit smoking for the sport. With that said though, I talk to a lot of friends who are interested in training at an MMA gym and are 'thinking about fighting competitively'. I always tell them what happened to me, how terrifying it was to sit in a hospital bed, confused, disoriented, unable to think or do things that are normally second nature and to be terrified that you're never going to 'get better'. I tell them about what it's like to lose vacation days to debilitating migraines and the strain that mood swings put on relationships. I also tell them about the good things that MMA did for me and how passionate I still am about the sport and martial arts in general.

Brilliant! Very sad, but the history, detail and presentation is perfect 👏

It’s not a dream, it’s a programmed desire. Civilisation is not your friend

Man watching this really makes you understand why Mayweather fought the way he did. You can have all the money in the world, but if your mind is broken, you don't own anything. It's terrible

Thank you for posting this my dad was a pro kick boxer from before i was born till I was around 10 there were days he'd come back from a tournament and he forgot me and my siblings even existed from time to time he will forget my name and he used to get very angry then 20 minutes later came back like he never said anything I showed him this video so he could understand what CTE is because he had no idea or just didn't care he's forgot alot of my childhood and always gets things flat out wrong I see him with that blank stare all the time and it'd heart breaking. For anyone that has a family member who has fought especially back in the day where it was basically just get into a ring and when one man doesn't get up that's when it's over enjoy your time well you still have it left I love my father but he will never be the same again it hurts alot but the day that he loses everything will happen soon I still love boxing and mma always will it's in my blood but enjoy the time you have with them because one day there gonna forget you ever existed and the fact that they were even a fighter.

My mother fell down the concrete stairs when she was 8 months pregnant. That is why I was born a month earlier than I should have been. From her hitting the concrete stairs multiple times with her belly my brain got swollen and I was in the hospital for the first two months of my life. I barely survived and as a consequence of this I got bronchitis which lasted until I turned 7. To make long story short, I started training karate when I was 10. At 17 I switched to boxing, did it for 2 years. Then Muay Thai, MMA, wrestling and BJJ. Competed as an amateur in MMA 4 times and had couple of boxing fights. My ,,dream'' was to be a successfull pro MMA fighter. I stopped training when I was 24 years old. Now I am 32 and I can say it was the best decision I have ever made. Considering my brain was swollen at the very begining of my life, I think it would have been very possible for me to develop CTE. Probably that trauma is hidden somewhere inside the brain and that kind of career would have activated it and made it even bigger. People should take care of themselves and not be brainwashed by any glory, fame and crazy fans who are gonna forget them as soon as their career ends. I do not care what your dream is, putting your life on the line for a goal that in 99.99999% of the cases will never be achieved is stupid. How many of upcoming fighters who also worked hard, cut weight, won a lot of fights, risked their lives, never achieved their goal? But, we never hear about them. The media only portrays 1% (or even below 1%) of fighters who have made it. That is how they are selling to us the idea that ,,everyone can make it''. WAKE UP PEOPLE.

Did you write the script for this? fantastic narration - pro level writing. Ty for the upload. reminds me of the undead lore in Dark Souls as they lose more and more of themselves to become the undead.

As a brain health scientist myself who loves this sport. Thank you for doing this documentary. It’s important work and all needs to see it and fully understand the risk and repercussion to understand it’s beauty and delicacy. This sport is the human condition on full display and it should be carefully examined and admired. Thank you again.

This makes me contemplate whether I should compete in kickboxing. On one hand, I love the idea of competing and fighting. Martial arts definitely made me feel at peace with myself. But on the other hand, I’m afraid of the negative mental health effects. Great video though

Incredible work: from editing to sound effects and writing. 👏👏👏👏👏

This video was absolutely haunting, and I feel incredibly uncomfortable now that I've watched all of it, and I mean that in the best possible way. This stuff is terrifying and it makes me glad I'll never fight in a ring. Still, I worry that even the light sparring I do might end up with me taking too much damage, since I'm not exactly talented at fighting. I'll need to figure out how to move forward, especially after seeing this. My mind's the most important thing I have, and if it breaks, I'm not getting it back.

Fighters fall pray to the same thing singers, comedians, sports stars and stage actors fall pray to, applause and love from adoring fans, it just feel like a shot of heroin the first time they hear and feel it and are forever hooked from that moment on. I believe the feeling associated with that experience is pride. Pride is king of all emotions because it feels so good and is so rare. Leaving the crowds for the last time must be devastating and heart breaking as most rely on it to stay afloat, just like a heroin addict needs the high to stay alive, for without it he drowns.

It's so hard to write about it, but my father started getting worse with dementia, forgetting things that just happened, bringing up histories that never happened, I can tell you it's worse than death itself, because he probably will die with no memories about who he was, or what he did, it's non existence, just so hard to describe how painful it is , he said " I don't wanna die as a dead man" that hurt in my soul.

Thank you for creating this. Incredibly powerful documentary.

breathtaking, amazing video 10/10 a real eye opener

The only time I've ever felt a strong sense of borderline disgust with myself for watching MMA even though I know it wasn't your intention and even though you gave me so many reasons not to. This video was so potent, especially since Dimensia is by far my biggest fear and even in the most glossed over sense is the most harrowing thing ever. Rest in Peace to your Grandma and anyone who's ever died with CTE/Dimensia as they pass. Especially fighters who put themselves through this for our entertainment. RIP to your Grandma once again may her soul rest.

just an incredibly nuanced, thoughtful, and most importantly realistic documentary. you pulled no punches, but you did it with care and respect.

This was the best video i have ever seen on the site. A masterpiece.

Your work is incredible my friend

I’m so glad I came across this video. It’s so well done and gives me chills. I’m touched by the care you’ve given to this difficult topic and by the experience people are sharing in the comments.

I'm a retired pro Muay Thai fighter I am 44 years old, but I retired at 27 because I was having post concussion syndrome, thank God I did, I've had blown knees , even a testicle that got smashed from getting kicked , black tissue formed in it, which had to be removed to save my life. It's a intense sport , especially when you come from America trying to prove a point in Thailand

Thank you thank you for your time making this video it was awesome highly educated for me

Wow this was a great video. Took me on a roller coaster of emotions all the way to the end. Keep up the good work! Also, sorry for your loss man, losing grandma is a very heavy punch to take.

Wow, this video was so sad. For 5 years, I worked as a mental health tech at a state hospital in IL and all I can say is that I've seen some shit. I don't usually talk about it but, hearing you mention that Nelson took his worst beating in the hospital literally made me cry.

I remember like 6 years ago. This shit was my passion. I was convinced i was gunna be an mma fighter. Trained every day, got in good shape, i had a blast doing it. Took some decent shots, but i never got put out. I was sparring a guy alot smaller than me one day. We were wearing head gear and everything. I went to throw a half strength knee and at the same time he ducked down, i guess to throw an overhand. And he just went motionless. Out for like 3 mins. I thought i killed him. Told me he was never the same. Saw a few other guys get koed and decided to quit while i still had brain cells. I also have bipolar disorder, dont need to add to that

Such an amazing piece of work! Thank you so much for bringing more light to this

another crazy thing is that, without gloves, TBIs are actually less common, but they are used anyway for the illusion of greater safety

As one who loves fighting, I'd say it's the deep euphoria that one experiences while "in the arena" that makes it extremely difficult to leave fighting behind. I think it's a lot like veterans who can't stop returning to the battlefield. It pained me deeply to leave it, I had to, to protect my health! Now, I "fight" with a heavy bag that never hits back; it's a great workout, but in terms of euphoria, it simply cannot compare to the thrill of battle!

I’ve been fighting since I was 14, I’m 19 now, I love it, even won a Muay Thai state championship, it’s honestly one of the best things I’ve ever done. Cte scares the living shit out of me, I’ve found my self going less and less. I fear I may have some now. Pain of life I guess…..

Holy shit this was one of the best videos I‘ve ever seen. Have a new appreciation for fighters although I‘ve been a fan for 10 years!

Everytime doubt sprouts in my head i always get these kinds of signs coming to me in the form of ads or songs n now its this I won't change my mind on the road to greatness