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I´m a father of two. One is 22, the other turns 15. Of all the things I could choose to sell the concept to someone who is hesitant to become a parent - one thing stands out: it´s the purity of the love you will feel towards your child. I promise you, you will never feel anything that comes even close to it. I fell into parenthood, and I thank God every day that I got to experience that kind of love. Not receive it, but feel it towards someone else. It doesnt sparke like a diamond ever single day, that love. But it is non-destructible. And some days, it really does sparkle more than anything can. That said, I had all the thoughts that Amalie has, during those 9 months of waiting.

You're not immature Amelia! Your feelings are valid. You don't have to have kids. 💕

Amelia doesn't seem ready and that's totally okay. Having a child is, for a lack of a better word, a gamble in the sense that it can take a huge toll on mother's mental and physical health, so her reluctance is easy to understand and relate to. I think a woman should listen to her body and her intuition first and foremost, regardless of age, life circumstances, societal or family expectations, etc.

Totally agree with Amelia… 80% hassle vs 20% fun… child changes EVERYTHING so do not push yourself into this if you feel you are not ready… enjoy freedom, have fun, and one day when you may wake up and feel ready then go for it, but do not get rushed or get forced by partner into it!

We chose not to have children; I am now 54 years old and have no regrets. It would help if you did what makes you both happy. My husband and I are the fun aunt and uncle for our friends' children; we love it! I don't understand why other people try to pressure others to have children. Be happy with what you feel is best.

I'm in my 60's my husband in his 70's. We chose not to have children. We have never regretted our decision. We discussed it and concluded we were unwilling to dedicate the time and sacrifice we felt it would take to raise the best human being possible. The responsibility was too great for us. Is it selfish? I don't think so. How many people become parents and then sacrifice the needs, love, and wants of their children b/c they are pursuing their own. I could never do that to another human being - especially a child. You know the answer in your hearts and that is all that matters.

You will both be great parents. You have a strong foundation. Having a child is the greatest love on earth. Everything will come naturally. The entire nine months of my pregnancy I never felt pregnant and I had my daughter when I was 36. Let go of your fears. You will have great joy.

You two are making this sound very difficult or brain sugary, Its easier than you think and very satisfying in many ways that out weight and difficulties, Life will surprise you with so many beautiful precious moments.

My wife and I are 43 & 42 with no kids..No regrets as long as you both agree on it. Life is short love it how ever you both chose ❤

I had my first baby at 42. No IVF. My husband was 45. She’s 3.5 now and my whole world. You have plenty of time 😉 and all the hard parts and scary things you are talking about are 1,000,000% worth it. Even my C-section was worth it. ❤ she brings the most joy I have ever felt, everyday.

Having a child is a blessing. Raising them properly and teaching them right from wrong is hard work, but in the end, it pays off. The sacrifices that we went through as parents are definitely worth it because, in the end, we can count on our kids being there for us. There is plenty of doom and gloom that will influence you not to have kids, but, if you take the leap of faith, you will not regret it. We can't wait to have all 3 of our adult daughters join us in Madeira for vacation. Just do it!

We have 3 amazing children. Carrying a child is amazing, when it first moves- your whole world begins to shine brighter. And nursing; to realize your body creates everything to sustain a new little human is amazing. To realize your heart can live outside of your body. The joy a child brings is unmatched to almost anything.♡ Such a blessing.

I'm 35 yo, same age of Joen. Honestly, no kids for me ever. I don't see parenting as something for me, I have other goals and objectives in life. I think one needs to accept their true feelings, some people want kids others don't. Just accept it and don't let society/parents affect your decision

Having kids is the greatest thing anybody can do. It's the best! Makes life even more worth living.

My wife and I are 24 and 22 respectively. My wife doesn't want kids and i dont blame her. The world is going downhill, we both have to work fulltime now and have to send your kid to a childcare. Is it really your child? If youre not taking care of it. My wife also has genetic disorders and there will be complications with pregnancy, unfortunately shes pressured by both our sides of the family. Not everyone wants to have kids, we are still young but we will see where life takes us. Hope you guys make the decision you desire and have no regrets 🙏

I didn't want to have children, but when I was 24, I felt the call of the biological clock and got pregnant. I only had one child (he's 30 years old now) because I never felt that desire again and I don't regret it. The world is shit Amelia, don't give in to pressure, your heart/feeling will tell you what you really want Beijinhos de Sintra

I was married for 10 years before we had our first and then 4 years later, we had a total of 3. So being married young (23) and then living life for 10 years made sense to start the family. I love my three sons (now 21, 19 and 16) but don't just listen to "the love is amazing" and be analytical as you are. It is a TONNE of money to raise kids. We are lucky that we have the financial means to do this. They take your time away, and that cannot be sugar coated. It is 20 years of being committed to them. Don't think you can live your life quasi like you are doing now. Your kids will turn out to be less than desirable humans. it is so much work. They are a challenge at every age. I love them and they are great little humans but you will never sleep again.......ever. Even with them as 20 year old plus. You REALLY need to know your desires for life and if there are no kids, than that is a great reason not to have them. You will love the time free when they are old and out of the house (two in university now) but it's still something that requires money and time. Keep in mind, you are not young. When you are 53 years old your body, your mind, etc. will desire a completely different bucket of needs than you may think.....PS it is 97% work and 3% fun. AND I HAVE AWESOME SMART KIDS. I think people who love their kids SOOOOOO much are not able to do other things. They pick their kids as the best because they are not great at work, sports, making friends, travel etc. You are on the right page for thinking all you are, but need to talk to lots of other people to bounce ideas off them. Don't do it just because.

Just found your Channel today as I'm scrolling through Portugal tips because we are about to visit this beautiful country. And stumbled upon this video - have never heard such Raw reality check about having kids argument as from you guys... I was in the same place as Amelia is right now when I was her age... I ended up getting pregnant and having the most beautiful gift of our lives.. yes it was and still is tough doing our best, being the best parents we can be for her, but the overwhelming feeling of seeing her blossom and growing up while living her dreams - is incomparable to anything ever. So follow your parents advice - just do it! You will be amazed how much it will elevate your life!

I always thought I'd have kids but now I'm 32 and I really can't imagine it. Plus the fact that living is so expensive now, being a parent is a privilege many can't afford

Hey guys. Two points you raised were really valid. I also worried a child would stop me living my life. In addition me and my wife were 40+ but Joens parents said the right thing.. just do it. We realised If you wait for the right time it will never come. Our boy is now nearly 2 and is the most amazing thing in the world. The sleepless nights and stress etc are only short lived and easily managed if you both work as a team. It'd a whole new chapter and the most natural thing ever. Just do it x

In the end. Children are precious they are your future, our future. Yes, they are time-consuming. Children will fill your life with joy ,happiness, and memories . My wife and I went through this phase, and yes, we had a dog, too. Now we have 2 beautiful daughters in-laws and 3 joyful grandchildren added to the family. They are here to give us love and hope for the future as we see them evolve. Are you prepared to work hard to commit to this ? Your parents did. Your parents and grandparents will love you for this.

Think of the love you have for your dog and multiple that by a thousand. That's how good it feels (from a mom of one who still travels and does All The Things!!!)

We are 70 and 67, no KIDS! Don't let anyone make you think you have to have children to have a good life. If you enjoy the freedom on no kids and don't feel that it's something you must have, don't do it. Travel and enjoy the freedom of the life you are living forever. Best of luck whatever you decide. Happy New Year from Southern California 😎 🏄‍♂️ 🌴

Who will be there to take care of you when you’re 90? It’s so nice to have a child that you love and loves you back and will take care of you when it’s their turn. You don’t want to regret never having children when it’s too late.

I'll share a story with you, my father was 35 yrs old when he had his first son, @ 36 me and @ 38 my sister. My wife and I thought exactly like you guys when we first got married, get our life straight buy a house open businesses etc... When we were ready to start a family, we found out it was too late for my wife to have kids, so the moral of the story is... don't wait too long, because when you're ready, it might be too late. a baby doesn't stay a baby for too long, they grow faster then we think. Your move from Denmark to Portugal would be more scarier for me then to have a child, lol Amalie that's also my biggest fear, getting old and not having someone from my immediate family taking care of me! My father just passed away, guess who's taking care of my 80+ yr old mother now? That's a sad arse excuse Joen, the older we get the fatter we get with kids or without kids! fact! You guys are making up too many "excuses" to justify your thoughts in reality!

Don't base your life decisions on fear. Base them on feelings. What you feel is what matters. Stop overthinking.

I have no children by choice, and had absolutely no regrets. Years on end of peaceful quiet, sleep, more time and money, never worrying about another human facing the terror of climate change--it never gets old.

I was scared as shit too, but you know what.. the day that 1st child was born, it is still today , best day of my life, the happiest moment you can have. As they grow so many scary stuff is going to happen; but you will be absolutely fine, you get to also have the baby born in a great place. Really everything will be just fine. All the best to you both

Analyzing everything will make you more scared. Most people are, I was, children don’t come with manual. You do your best, you learn, no parent is perfect. I cannot imagine life without children, my heart is full of love for them, it ‘s the best .❤

Good discussion and a great start for your new path! Congratulations!

I think Joen need to be able to cook 1 signature dish before he can expect a baby. Amalie will need time to heal and for when she's exhausted.

I had my first child at 32, he is now 17 and an amazing person. I was just like you. Very scared of everything. Pregnancy was awesome, I’ve never felt better, my skin, hair and nails never looked better. Having the baby was easy too, it’s bringing the baby home that is scary. I never breastfed, it’s not for me. I’m not ashamed of it at all and no man should ever tell you what to do with your body. Do or don’t but it’s your choice. That being said my two sons have brought me nothing but joy everyday!! My 17 year old just got accepted to his first college today!! I’m so proud of him. 😊.

I never had children and it is one of my biggest regrets. I think having at least one child is one of the greatest joys of life. Of course it changes things. I have two godsons, and even that is a joy, to see them grow from babies to boys and then men, and in both cases you can see elements of the father and elements of the mother. What more could you want? To me, even though I didn't have any, even now, if I could, I think I would.

I've been a father for 13 years, I was full of fear before, always making the worst movies in my head and for the cost of living these days. I am the father of an autistic boy, but very special, he loves us and is very cuddly, and we love him equally. there are complicated days, but there are good ones that surpass all the others, I don't rent myself, and I can't imagine life without him. We take it one day at a time.

I've enjoyed reading the comments! All very interesting views. I am 72 and have no children. My husband and I were not interested in having children. We both were interested in building our careers. I don't regret my decision. I don't think I would have been a good parent since I was more interested in my career. I do think now about growing old with no children. But for me that wasn't a decision I would make. So as many have said before me, you have to make the decision for yourselves. Good luck! Thanks for sharing your life with us.

Love hearing your thoughts guys and I 100% feel the same way as you Amalie! You guys are great, with or without babies!

You guys,will be great parents. The longer you wait the more complicated it gets. Kids fill your life with love.

Hi guys, I really loved watching this episode as I felt exactly like Amelia. I had the fears of having a healthy child at 35, I felt like our life was drastically going to change and we would not be able to do the things we were doing, I felt like I actually couldn’t be the mother that I seen in my friends. But I also was looking forward to all the fun stuff and you are kind of right saying fun stuff is only 20% of the time and it can be draining. Our child is now four years old and once I had her my maternal instincts kicked in and I breastfed her until her 3rd birthday even!! It is a wild ride that’s for sure and some days I wish I could go back to being childless for a day to get some extra sleep and rest. Thanks for being real! I wish you all the best and I think you guys would make the best parents!! Good luck on your journey. ❤

I didn't think I wanted kids. I had three! They grow up so fast, so enjoy every moment.

You captured everything; all of the fears and pleasures of having a child. I was fearful and it’s definitely hard, but it’s also now hard to imagine life without! Now a toddler and we are going to do a family vacation to Madeira, inspired by your vlog! ❤

It's a personal choice i always wanted one child, my son is 26 yrs old doing really well no regrets. It's what you both want main ingredient is love which you have the rest is a learning adventure which will make your life even more complete

I am a father of two daughters, 12 and 7. I believe we were created to create, and having children is arguably the most divine form of co-creation. I know you two are very spiritual people... well, having children will be the most spiritual event . Its quite psychedelic when you see and experience the love of beings that came from you. My only advise: Keep your spouse #1, above your children. Your children will greatly benefit from the love and harmony that their parents have. And perhaps making videos and seeing the world, and sharing your relationship with the world is YOUR BABY. This is also equally divine, and we all appreciate you so much for the gift you give your community. ... closing thought: dont overthink it or force it. Allow it!

Haha Joen, you're the thumbnail king! And about kids - they truly are wonderful. Sure, it's not always sunshine and rainbows, but honestly, they bring a unique fullness to life. Just yesterday, I hit the gym with my daughter, and it was such a blast watching her outdo the average 20-year-old guy at pull-ups. Experiences like these? Absolutely priceless!

The way I laughed and clapped my hands at "what's that smell" 😂

When my first child was born it scared the shit out of me. The responsibility all of a sudden! Immeasurable! Now I have three. The love... immeasurable!

The points you both brought up are so valid (especially Amelia :D I'm a woman of similar age with some health problems and the same anxieties/concerns). I always appreciate hearing from other couples who are still trying to navigate this topic like my partner and I (we've been together for 12 years and married for 5 lol, no kids yet because of many reasons that were brought up here, and finances). Something possibly helpful to address the concern about how having kids will limit us in life: recently my perspective on this expanded as I know some parents with toddlers who do things like hike mountains and travel the world. It definitely is possible to experience the world with a kid if you want to and aren't limited by finances/mentality. I did not have any examples of this growing up. So, having examples of active and adventurous young families is helpful to expand your idea of what is possible, if that fits more with your dream!

I agree with Amelia in all issues. She said what people, specially women are afraid to say. But it's true. Congrats for saying.

Have child. Your life will change in a good way. You will gain much more than you loose. Go for it. It is amazing. But hard to explain

Hallo Jon and Amelia , please have the courage to pull the pregnancy trigger . I am a white dutch 63 year old that became a father of a first child a son , my wife is brazilian , 40 years from Salvador Bahia , looking in your childs eyes combined with a sincere smile , is priceless. I was always afraid , i am not afraid anymore . Fear is the opposite of love . I hope you will have a child and learn and enjoy your child sem fim . Endlessly . Dont be afraid , your child chooses you to be his or her parents

Well, i am 32 and i simply don’t want to be father. I think it is normal being selfish, it’s just that i think I will not be a good father and it was never something that i’ve wanted for myself… I understand Amalie.

Great video. I share those fears in this crazy world but see both sides. It could be truly amazing too especially with 2 parents that love each other like you two do.

We were very flexible and travelled loads in our 20s. Until Covid killed our 4 holiday per year lifestyle. We are now coming up 31 this year and have got married and had our daughter 13 months ago. We have to admit your time is certainly not yours anymore but seeing your child grow up and call out for you and walking is the best feeling ever. We are heading to Copenhagen in May with her she has already been to London and Rome. Life is what you make it. We also had a double breach baby and she had to be delivered out of the sun roof. My wife managed it and 1 in three are now c section these days. Although scary if you have health anxiety it's much more controlled. 13 people in the place.

You are blessed...hope the child is healthy and that's enough to bring so much joy into your lives...fear is poison, be positive

Both of you have very valid points. I understand you both very well. I gave up work to take care of my daughter so I understand the struggles that some ladies go through after giving birth, I take my hat to every single one of them.

Don’t ever tell a woman she will lose herself after having a child! That is crushing to hear no matter what. My husband said he didn’t want kids bc I would get fat…it was so hurtful. The upside is we are long divorced ✌️😊

Amelia will be fine and ''Not'' balloon to 120! ''Stop'' scaring Amelia she will be fine and more than fine she will be an amazing mother and you will be a great father. Start creating another beautiful version of yourselves and you will not regret it ever.

3:58 - 4:07 hahahahahahahaha that was a good one! I have no kids yet, but I absolutely plan to. You guys should as well!

It’s not so bad. You love your dogs you’re good dog parents so you’ll be good baby parents. Babies sometimes if they’re fussy or they’re sick. Yeah that’s not fun but they adapt their growing and learning this. We learn about them. It’s different when you have a child, you really kind of grow up in a different way, but you will be great parents And you will just adore your little angel that comes to be born❤️🕊

Being a parent makes most people better. It makes you more tolerant! It may sound selfless, but is so true! If you are worried about c-section, find a Brazilian OB in Madeira, your scar will be nothing (if you end up needing one). Breastfeeding makes the baby fat, and the mom skinny (plus all the other amazing psychological aspects). Think once, twice, 3, a thousand times before, but never fear. When you are ready, your heart will tell you.

Amelia I tend to feel exactly the same as you about motherhood. I am a single woman and actually when I think about it, I have been avoiding relationships because of the possibility that I would eventually want a child with someone and I don’t want to give in to transient feelings and hormone rushes, I would rather be guided by the more rational side of myself. Also I am an introvert and I can’t imagine life without peace and quiet, and the thought of being responsible for a new life terrifies me. So here I am, a single 42 yo woman that enjoys her life but still occasionally feels empty.

The worst part of having kids is ultimately being alienated from them. Divorce can lead to this.

Amélia, you should now there is no such thing as a cute 3 year old. Nor cute 2 year old. They are cute at birth and then at 4 years old they become cute again. Caring a child is such a blessing, for 9 months you carry a gem that is only yours. The miracle of life is understated. Breastfeeding is not mandatory, I was not breastfed but chose to try that with my kids, i was lucky and they both nursed until 7 months.

Thank you a lot for sharing with us more of your intimate challenges and thoughts, it is very generous of you guys. I really hope you share more this vulnerable content, because I think that all of us learn a lot exchanging our experiences, doubts and feelings. Concerning your questions about being parents, mostly from Amelia, I think that all that she is feeling is valid, and it should not be considered as futile or selfish. Even though she might want to have kids, maybe, and this is just a maybe, because the truth just Amelia knows, she is not ready yet. It is a process. Like the internal process you are experiencing since you started your plant medicine in Brasil. So you know that it takes time, and some changes are gradual. Anyways, I think that no matter your choice of being parents now, later or never, it won't be a right or wrong decision. And I'm totally sure that you have the potencial to live an amazing, joyful, meaningful life, if you do have, or don't have kids. P.S.: I think your love for Lara will not diminish, if you have a baby. Love doesn't get divided when we have people/animals we love around around us, it actually multiplies! Love will always grow, so in that matter I think you can relax about it 😉 Lots of love from here to there!

If it helps, my wife and I are 60 and have no regret not having children. The fact is, you don’t miss what you never had. Don’t do it just because you think you have to.

I m a father of two 5 years old and 15 months old. I wouldn't have more because financially is tough, especially because my partner and I are alone with no family around. I was never open to children because I found it was so difficult to look after myself only , How could I look after two children and be there for them all the time. Thankfully, my wife spoke about it so many times that we ve decided to have a baby. The best thing that ever happened, no cons to point because the joy of having them is much bigger. If I ve to point something negative is price of hotels that increase in almost 1k per child even if is a toddler and holiday restriction since children have school and we need to wait for holiday seasons to go on holiday and that is also more expensive.

Congrats Amelia & Joen, all the best.❤

Thanks for sharing this very personal insight you guys. My husband and I got married super young and we decided that we weren’t going to have children for many of the reasons mentioned here(and I medically couldn’t) but life had other plans and boom! Here we are traveling through Portugal with our now almost 1yr old (will be in Madeira in a few days!). It isn’t the same, it isn’t worse or better… it’s a new adventure filled with crazy amounts of never-before-experienced types of love, fun, confusion, laughter, frustration, and diapers.

Congratulations! It's normal to have all these fears and doubts. A child is a great responsibility! It's a new life that completely depends on its parents to survive. It's so powerful...

Father of two boys 10 & 7 . We started at 32 (her) 42(me) you will want every moment, every first word, every hug, and every tear. Every mood, tantrum, & heart felt thought. Every song, every bruise, and every sick moment when they choose you. We are blessed with thoughtful and funny young men. We just spent a weekend in Nuevo Nayarit watching sunsets, eating fish tacos, and playing in the waves. Nothing else mattered. Every memory is a joy. If you want have kids, have them. Then bring thoughtful, conscious and free children into the world. Leaving legacy on this planet when we are done is best gift to leave behind. Y’all would make great parents. IMHO: Amelia: breast feed, if you can and it will raise the healthiest babies.

It's a totally amazing experience growing a baby and feeding it! It feels so brilliant. I hope you can overcome your fears and do it but if you really feel it's not for you then that's cool, too.

Hey there guys, thank you for being so open and honest about your thoughts and fears. I didn't have my son until I was 39. I didn't find the right spouse/life mate until I was 37 and after taking a couple of years to make sure we were a good fit we got married and I turned 38 the day before our wedding, we started trying to have a child about 4 months afterwards, because I knew that at 'an advanced maternal age' there might be complications with conceiving and we both wanted a child. Luckily we beat the odds and found ourselves pregnant within 3 months - fast forward to me having our son 6 weeks early - by C-section. Amelia - you have a right to your feelings about this - no one else can make this choice for you, nor should they. I want to let you know however that I felt very much like you when I was in my 20's and early 30's. I liked kids well enough but I didn't have the big maternal urges that other women seemed to have to have a baby. To be honest, I worried that I might just not be the kind of woman to be a mom. I felt those doubts, about how maternal I could/would be, how I would cope, how my body would handle the pregnancy etc. I felt them all the way up until the day I went into early labor and we had the C-section. No one can guarantee what will happen, but I can tell you with full confidence that once I had my son and held him in my arms, those fears melted away and my love for him was unlike anything I had ever felt before. You don't become a 'super mom' overnight, but somehow you DO become the mother you need to be and you feel for your child (biological or adopted) in a way that you could never imagine. I think that given your creativity, your love for nature and mankind - you will make a wonderful mom. Just trust in yourself - you will have all the instincts you need when the time comes. As to only children being spoiled - that is not true. Spoiling a child can happen in a family of multiples or with an only child. The spoiling or narcissism comes from the child getting everything they ask for and want - without any requirement that they behave or work towards their goals. If your child is taught to be kind, polite and caring and they work hard in school and are good to other people, then if they desire something and it's within your means to provide it for them - that is not spoiling. If you raise a brat - that brat can be an only or have siblings. Having a child changes your life - for sure. But so does being in a committed relationship, as does having a pet like Lara... there are responsibilities, there are aggravations and lots of hard work. Yes. there is that. But there is also tenderness, laughter, happiness and so much opportunity for joy - that you really can't pass that up - if given the chance. Take the time to settle into you new home, travel to some places that you always wanted to see, but would be very difficult to explore with kids under 10... you still have some runway to get those things done and then when you are ready - open you heart and your family to bringing another human being into it. Oh and if no one has told you - feeling the first kicks... like butterflies and Champagne bubbles in your belly - yes it's a bit freakish to think of a whole other human being inside of you - but it's also magic.

Watching your video of the villa now, love it. Anyway, about this vlog re kids: Had them in our late thirties. As a single girl, I loved my life of going out, camping and being free. The idea of being a parent terrified me - losing freedom and gaining great responsibility, yikes! Now I look back, and I only feel terror in thinking if I had not met a persuasive, wonderful man, I would have missed out on this profound experience and my beautiful (now teens) boys. ❤

You guys are the most adorable. That was not related to the topic:) just pure compliment. It's very scary to have children. You can't send it back if it's not for you. However, I think the only way to deal with it: if that happens naturally, have them. If that's not your destiny, don't get overly obsessed. There are enough humans on this planet. But you definitely can deal with children well. Because you have doubts. And that's healthy

As soon as the seed is planted, you will see it differently. Joen said it best, the world needs more good people. So get cracking. Once you're there, you will laugh about how silly you were about not having one of the most amazing thing in life. ❤

I have had three children C-section and one stillborn C-section. The first C-section is a little hard but you get used to it after a while. I have a small pelvic bones but I just had the larger babies. It seems but like I said, you will be fine, you will adapt it will change things a bit but you will adapt and the dogs will just learn to love and want to go up and kiss the babies. Dogs love babies. I can’t wait to see your little child. I wish you well.

You guys would be such good parents. Europeans must be fruitful if you don't want to die out. In some cultures, not having children is unthinkable.

Totally understand you, Amalia!

I think the life you lead could change drastically, and you might not like so much of a change. But you can travel with kids, continue your videos and life will be good. You will fall in love with the little monsters, your body will heal, you’ll forget the pain of birth. And when you’re 53, and your children start having children, you’ll be surrounded by love and family. It’s the biggest hope I have, that my kids will have some grandkids for us to hang out with on holidays. Once our parents are gone from earth, we hope to have the next generations to share life with.

My first ever comment on KZfaq, so I really mean it: Your feelings, and worries and thoughts are totally valid Amalie and nobody else knows what it is to be you and what is best for you. We are not alive to procreate but to appreciate life itself… do whatever feels right for you, it is a very personal decision and pressure will not help:)

Maternity will be very hard if you don’t want them. You will live in a parallel world that your world will be around him/her.

Im 40, I have daughter 18 and another 5! Yes it’s hard but it’s also the best decision! I feel you bring excuses bcz you don’t want to take full responsibility. And you act like children yourself, any harm!!

There is no right time. Only the time when you decide to do it. We all feel to immature until we are in it as parents. That said, it is a completely a personal choice. You have to do what is right for you.

I think what you have, Amelia, is called wisdom. I have a child. I was the first of my group of friends to have a child. I'd tell them "you wouldn't want to go through this" and, they did and then they told me "whyy didnt you tell me how hard it was??"... I did... but they couldn't imagine it so they underestimated the situation. You are one rare person who actually understands how hard it will be. 😅 You are wise. Pregnancy is tough... Giving birth is tough... breatfeeding is SUPER tough... not sleeping properly for years is tough. Not being able to do what you want, not going to the cinema, not hanging out with your friends, just being hostage to your kid and also not wanting the kid to feel bad because its natural for the kid to want their mom and it's lovely but tough... washing mountains of dirty clothes, trying to calm the child during tantrums, trying to solve school issues like bullying, bad teachers, nasty behaviours, etc. Of course after you have one, you can't say you regret it. However, if society didn't put this much pressure on couples (and women) to have children, I think many people would just choose not to.

I think it’s cute that she says I just want the kids to come as toddlers. Well, you know toddlers are actually kind of worse than newborns to be honest. And then when they get to be in junior high high school and high school, and it never ends after that, so enjoy the babies please enjoy the babies.🌞

There never is the perfect time. Life is hard, the world is in turmoil, having kids is scary. I have a 21 year old son and I am 61. I love him to bits. As soon as Amelia is ready….. go for it. Children are a blessing.

Its true, the first year and a half is hard. After that it starts to get fun.

Having a child wont stop you from living your life the way you want, however, it will definetely bring pauses to it, and some of them may be long...maybe, you cannot go to some places because of the noise of it, you can not be sure that tou will have the rest time you need...it is hard! Bmrhe secret for it to be lighter is having people around that can help you🎉 And you learn to love your child even though this kid has a disorder or any other problem... Experiencing it is easier that thinking of it! Ameliaaa, you start having new dreams when these little ones come❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤ it is worth living, but if dont have them, no problems: you can be happy as well!!

Having activities together is amazing! I also live in Madeira and I Love going to the beach with my toddler❤❤ It wont be an easy journey, but it will be incredibleeeeeee❤❤❤❤❤

please please please do a bunch of portugal with kids videos! Started a Portugal with kids facebook group a year ago bc we are traveling to Portugal and there weren't any groups like this and we have almost 800 members in like 10 months. I'm hoping to find moderators more local people to take over after our trip. anyways there isn't a ton of portugal with kids content available (at least not that great). love your videos the best but since going with kids trying to figure out the kid friendly suggestions. congratulations ya'll!!!

First of all I think you would make great parents, no questions asked! I have two adult daughters and two granddaughters. They are the love of my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. My first pregnancy was not easy and I kept saying that I didn’t want another one, however when my niece was born my feelings about it changed, and little did I know that I was already pregnant with my second. My second pregnancy was a breeze. Being a parent changes your life, for sure but I feel in a good way, the love is unreal. The love you will have for that little human is unreal, you won’t love anyone else the same way, no matter how much you love your significant other, your siblings or your parents. Does it come with responsibility, yes, but you will manage, everyone does, don’t overthink it. With that being said if you don’t feel ready for it don’t do it. Everyone’s experience and expectations are different. John has to be a full time dad and not leave it all to you, but I think he would make a great dad, he probably would relive his childhood, like my son-in-law does! Best of luck to you both on whatever you decide❤

I’m a mother of 3 and my transition to motherhood was very very difficult in large part because I was not prepared for the level of sacrifice motherhood requires. If you want to learn the spiritual practice of dying to your ego, become a mother, haha. But seriously, it really did feel like a part of me had to die. There is SO much self-sacrifice involved. My sister doesn’t have kids and travels the world as you do, and sometimes she talks woefully about having to make a sacrifice here or there, and I smile to myself and think, “You have no idea.” You are absolutely right to think your life would have to change dramatically if you had a child. You wouldn’t be able to be nearly as free or carefree, not to mention the added expense. I don’t want to make light of any of that. Those fears are very legitimate. But all that said, I would never ever go back and trade in my life with my children for a life with more freedom, money, etc. Despite all the sacrifices and work (and it IS a TON of work, constantly!), there is nothing that compares to the enormous love I feel for my children and the gratitude I feel at getting to witness them daily as they learn and grow and experience their own joys. It’s a love you truly can’t comprehend until you feel it! Just as I wasn’t initially prepared for the level of sacrifice involved, I also wasn’t prepared for the BIG love I would feel. So ultimately, despite all the downsides (and there are many, no doubt), the life I experience hand in hand with my children is far richer than any carefree life I might’ve had without them. But ultimately, I think the “right” answer here is different for everyone. Get quiet, listen to your intuition (and not any other voices, fears, or statistics, etc.), and you’ll know what to do. ❤

Yay! Congrats❤️🕊

What i see here is 2 people growing in different ways which is not wrong at all. Don't waist each other's time. Need to figure out what you both want and you agree or disagree with each other.

I had the same fears being pregnant and breastfeeding as Amalie. It didn’t look natural for me. When I got pregnant I was terrified, what I did to myself, someone is growing inside me😱 But it didn’t took long when everything changed, the beginning wasn’t easy but it became the most natural thing in the world to me. I was breastfeeding one year, I didn’t imagine giving some artificial food for my baby. Nothing happened with my body or my boobs😄 Now it’s almost seventeen years ago, I’m 43, mother of two. Don’t wait too long or you will become those overthinking overprotective middle age parent who are freaking out about everything(joking) Wish you the best 😘

Solution: Adopt toddler! 🎉 You two are good people!

My wife was more reluctant than I was, just like you guys. Now she says it's the best thing ever happened to her. My daughter is 1 year and 4 months old, and it's a thousand times easier now than when she was 3 months old. Don't worry about the three-year-old mark. The hardest time is the first 6 months. It's such a joy to see them grow. In the beginning, I had to wake up in the middle of the night to bottle feed her while my wife was pumping because she couldn't latch, but after a couple of months she learned how to get breastfed and she started sleeping through the night. PS: my wife was 34 when she got pregnant and 35 when my princess was born.

Try having twins....when we found out we didn't eat for a week. They're now 12 and we wouldn't swap it for the world. Trust life, and it will respond and help you...

Hello :) Amelia in recessive disorders you can be a carrier of the disorder and not be affected by it (in this case you would have one gene mutated and one normal gene). But if you got tested for the disorder and you don’t have a mutated gene, you won’t pass the disorder to your children. 😘😘 Love you both 😊

Amelia, thank you! I'm finally hearing some of the same reasons from another woman that I have. Women often feel reluctant to admit they don't want a child because they don't want to be pregnant and breastfeeding, as that's frowned upon in our society. People always expect a woman to turn motherhood into her whole identity, sacrifice, and embrace all the pain and discomfort. I'm almost 31, my husband is 36, and we also feel the pressure of this decision weighing on us. But my older sister got pregnant 15 years ago (at 24, so physically prime years for becoming a mother) and that pregnancy ruined her - her teeth deteriorated to the point that she lost most of them. She now has a dental prosthesis. Most men don't know that, but fetuses use women's calcium to build their bones, which can result in teeth loss. She had two more kids (I don't know how she dared after all of that) and her body and health were never the same. But unfortunately, then it happened to me. I got pregnant during the pandemic and it wasn't planned. We didn't even assume I might be pregnant, but I felt so ill that we started thinking I might have some cancer. It started in the fourth week. I was constantly sleepy and tired, I couldn't eat absolutely anything. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to vomit and I remember we had to stop so many times on our way from Evora to Albufeira because I was dizzy and nauseous and wanted to jump out of the car. I also had irregular bleeding, so that made us think I might have ovarian cancer. Finally, a blood test has shown high Beta levels due to a twin pregnancy, which has been causing such severe symptoms, so early. The gynecologist also told me my pregnancy would only get more difficult if I decided to keep it. My hormones made me question the decision, but, ultimately, I decided to terminate it and I never regretted that decision. However, now, nearly four years later, I'd kinda like to have one, but only if it could somehow appear as a toddler with our combination of genes. But I can't imagine myself going through a pregnancy again or having the same issues my sister had. Men will never understand that. A woman's life is at stake when pregnant, and she's never the same after having a child, in so many ways. If you got this far, my point is to listen to your instincts. If you feel that you don't want a child strongly enough to go through all these body changes and struggles, don't force it. But if you believe you can overcome that fear for the joy of having a baby that looks like you two, then find literature or a therapist that could help you get there mentally. At least that's how I plan to approach this decision. And so sorry for the very long message! PS: I'll also add that men also have a biological clock. Sperm quality and motility rapidly decline after 40 and can result in various disorders, including autism. You can research it to find out more.