If you are an Author and would like me to narrate your stuff , Send me a message on Reddit (u/Agrosquerril) with permission and I will add you to the pool of authors I pull stories from. (no Guarantees )
@nickheiman61289 ай бұрын
O
@weirdredpanda9 ай бұрын
The first story: I was thinking Substance C was going to be coffee, caffeine, or chocolate. I wasn't expecting it to be cheese. Awesome twist! 😂 There needs to be a sequel where a black market for cheese inevitably develops. Picture "drug" dealers and Prohibition-type mafia selling cheese.
@Norbrookc9 ай бұрын
People importing milk and rennet...
@ImFrelled9 ай бұрын
Titled: "The Cheese Runners"
@EricTheKei9 ай бұрын
Same here. Behold the Power...of CHEESE!
@EricTheKei9 ай бұрын
@@Norbrookc "I can quit anytime I want, man...*sniff*...I can contr--- Wait, is that Feta?!?" *chaos* *ensues*
Story 1: I can empathize with the aliens. Cheese is damn good, lactose intolerance be damned. Story 2: Boredom is a hell of a motivator.
@Tessicaria9 ай бұрын
As a human that is most definitely addicted to cheese myself, I fully understand how hard it can be to restrain oneself in its presence. But the poor aliens never stood a chance.
@lupaswolfshead99719 ай бұрын
I believe most of the veteran readers/listeners of HFY all became trapped in the the big three C tropes of capsaicin coffee or chocolate lol and all where pretty chuffed with the twist .
@PortablePuertoRican9 ай бұрын
I know I fell into the 3 tropes but the moment he said cheeze made me audibly chuckle a little.
@Inufan20059 ай бұрын
At first I was thinking Caffeine, but at the mention of platters I went chocolate. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@Elmithian9 ай бұрын
Tbf, I was expecting a crude twist when I read the title. Since the big Cs had been used so lot already that was my expectation.
@lupaswolfshead99719 ай бұрын
yep when he said cheese that was a coffee snorted out of the nose moment for me from laughing@@PortablePuertoRican
@druidofthewolf59969 ай бұрын
I thought the big three C were capsaicin , caffeine and cheese
@MidnightSmoke9 ай бұрын
I can't blame the aliens for loving substance C. Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, and get you the recognition you deserve.
@colleens11076 ай бұрын
I’d wail in desolation if I was forever denied cheese too
@IamDarkeye9 ай бұрын
When Wallace and Gromit made their maiden voyage into the galaxy at large, they couldn’t have known just how dire the consequences would be.
@dravenrogers70409 ай бұрын
I feel so embarrassed that it took me so long to figure out what substance is only near the ending I believe that I figured it out even though there were a bunch of other hints
@Inufan20059 ай бұрын
Admittedly, I was thinking Caffeine.
@cosmiccake7919 ай бұрын
I was thinking capsaicin at first😅and then chocolate...
@marvinjohnson24889 ай бұрын
Same here. I was thinking all the other C words. Even the French G didn't clue me in until the final few minutes. Awesome tale!
@markfergerson21459 ай бұрын
It wasn’t until the mention that it was full of bacteria that I got it. I was thinking coffee, chocolate and capsaicin like everyone else at first, because all have different varieties in one way or another. So it wasn’t just you. Once again Farmwhich gives us a great story, and the Squerril ( to my mind the correct spelling) gives us a great reading. For the algorithm!
@WingManFang19 ай бұрын
I thought it was caffeine then coffee….but ah yes….the World(s) Quake at the Power of Cheese…😂😂😂😂😂
@kadirali14569 ай бұрын
The second story went over my head
@rainynight029 ай бұрын
Essentially, some weird human is a gun for hire, gets high off of some substance and does deals with people to "take care" of their problems, in this case, it was because he was bored. Basically a "I'm a tough guy mercenary" kinda thing?
@Whitetyger00909 ай бұрын
@@rainynight02 while i didn't fully 'get it' this is how i understood the story. while i enjoy ASN reading i don't usually enjoy these kinds of stories.
@rainynight029 ай бұрын
Cheese! 😂 I was expecting caffeine or citrus for some reason. (Maybe because I'm having orange juice?) But CHEESE?! 🤣 Got me good!
@crudkick9 ай бұрын
I love when the Xenos write the story, it is fun to see through their optical receptors
@Katzztar9 ай бұрын
It IS interesting to imagine humans as the alien species visiting another planet and how they would respond to us. There are so many stories of humans being unnerved by an alien that's so unlike us they need a exosuit to survive. But here it's the human in the suit, just how would we be viewed in that situation? Would we be the source of existential horror for the poor alien?
@MortalinaMortifera9 ай бұрын
It’s so fulfilling to see your channel grow, you started so small, you are so dedicated and now you’re finally approaching 100k! A HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE SAW YOU AND LIKED YOU CONTENT! That insane! Congrats my friend!
@patraic52419 ай бұрын
I found the first story very amusing. Especially since I can't ingest any dairy protein.
@johnnymellon74149 ай бұрын
Why not? You gonna ink everywhere too?
@patraic52419 ай бұрын
@@johnnymellon7414 Well it wouldn't be ink per say. 😁
@smaragdwolf19 ай бұрын
slightly similar for me. Luckily only a mild form of lactose intolerance, but dislike cheese for another, stupid reason. Molten cheese, like on pizza, Burgers, lasagne, Cordon bleu or every other food on this planet that has some kind of molten cheese..... i absolutely hate the taste of it. Whenever i visit friends, i have to bring lactase tablets with me... because they love cheese and cook with it too. For my sake, they try to avoid it or only use small amounts... but i still need the tablets.
@WE-te3vp9 ай бұрын
I have to admit being from Wisconsin I can confirm how addictive substance c is
@SoteksChunkyProphet-dg7io9 ай бұрын
Honestly, cheese is amazing. it makes literally any food better... maybe not ice-cream, i haven't tried. Although actually, given the track record of cheese, it probably bangs.
@efffvss9 ай бұрын
I've had lemon and marscarpone ice cream before. It was very good (and that's comnibng from someone who's not a huge fan of ice cream).
@jesenjin84679 ай бұрын
Cheese? EDIT: I knew it! Those letters after C were one clue, and another was substance C from France
@WorldWalker1289 ай бұрын
I love stories about aliens getting addicted to mundane food or drinks. So much fun!
@RealArcalian9 ай бұрын
Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: Huh, thought it was gonna be chocolate. Story 2: Actually read this one before. But that's what to go for, not just vicious and brutal Humans, but also *psychologically unsettling.*
@darkdarklighting9 ай бұрын
Why Humans Banned Aliens From Eating 'Substance C' That's a very cheesy story.
@davethompson33269 ай бұрын
Full of plot holes.
@alamarxandal75259 ай бұрын
Well to be fair, apparently cheese activate the same parts of the brains as hard drugs so it does make sense in a way.
@tobiasmoller38379 ай бұрын
ok, was not expecting cheese. I thought of caffeine, capsaicin and even C17H21NO4
@fnors29 ай бұрын
I thought of Chocolate for a while
@rainynight029 ай бұрын
@@fnors2 I had just eaten some chocolate but hadn't thought of that! I thought Caffeine or Citrus!
@johnnymellon74149 ай бұрын
From the title I also thought of capsaicin first. When OP started reading a bit and describing symptoms, I also thought about C17 or its base derivate... until he mentioned the microorganisms
@Kualinar9 ай бұрын
My first though was vitamin C, then citrus and other fruits. That is, until the mention of microorganism and that destroying those had only very little to no effect on the taste. Also, the very large variety : Cheese it is.
@TheDurid19 ай бұрын
Worshipping a floor tile was a really poor choice of words. Didn't realize he actually made some tile into a shrine.
@Charlie947817 ай бұрын
Cheez its shrine
@lupaswolfshead99719 ай бұрын
Wow that want expected an amazing twist at the end even surprised me cool
@sanityflyer52949 ай бұрын
I whole heartedly thought it was gonna be chocolate. Since they often contain the body parts of cockroaches. As people arent actually allergic to the chocolate for the most part, but the cockroache's body parts in the chocolate if they get in there. (Before someone or people attack me in the comments, you'd be surprised at how horrible companies keep their facilities clean.)
@jackreisewitz66329 ай бұрын
If people get upset with you, just direct them to the government regulations controlling how much insect body parts, mouse droppings, bird doodoo, etc. can be in the grain food is produced from.
@sanityflyer52949 ай бұрын
@jackreisewitz6632 Yes, I know this. Thanks for the reminder. But companies usually have worse conditions or don't actually follow the minimal requirement. As someone who's seen it first hand. They are good at hiding it when they get searched for the violations.
@elmodelo1019 ай бұрын
Well, I guess it makes sense that insects are attracted to food, especially to sweet food.
@Squall5989 ай бұрын
Second story is like making a deal with the devil. Except it was a deal with a human.
@hanzzel60869 ай бұрын
Eh, same thing in a lot of these stories.
@mattbrown55119 ай бұрын
Depends on the human, right?
@Josh-iv2bw9 ай бұрын
Theres a difference?
@Jaegerrants9 ай бұрын
Humans dont usually also screw over who thay make deals with, but for the target, it just might be the very devils coming for them.
@Josh-iv2bw9 ай бұрын
@@Jaegerrants this depends on the human. Lets be fair.
@Rob87299 ай бұрын
Imagine the alien wars fought over cheesecake.
@KungfooBucket9 ай бұрын
Capsaicin, coffee, chocolate, cheese... It's got to be one of these!
@williamwalker81079 ай бұрын
I was thinking vitamin C.
@darwinskeeper4219 ай бұрын
At first I assumed that substance C was COFFEE, due to my fondness for the beverage. I eventually switched to cheese after hearing about different foods made of the substance. As much as we humans love our coffee, we rarely use it in other foods.
@smaragdwolf19 ай бұрын
"french type G" - shortly after that was mentioned, i locked my guess on cheese XD
@PanduPoluan9 ай бұрын
@@smaragdwolf1I originally thought coffee ... Type L is Latte, Type C is Cappuccino... That mention of French-type disavowed me of that notion.
@scottlowther99679 ай бұрын
The disturbingly obvious: the base substance for cheese, milk, can be extracted from about half the human population When the aliens figure *that* out, there's going to be a massive human trafficking problem. When "Mars needs women" gets going, there's gonna be some serious ass-kicking by the pissed off forces of humanity.
@valtiel25899 ай бұрын
* awkward silence* *tries to figure out a way to make a youtube friendly version of this story* *fails horribly and starts writing it anyway*
@tiikkifi9 ай бұрын
@@valtiel2589 LOL
@Darqshadow9 ай бұрын
@valtiel2589 don't forget Humanities penchant for nuclear warfare. No one messes with humans... except humans
@Maddog30609 ай бұрын
Story 1: Behold: the power of cheese. Story 2: Yeah, mercs are something else.
@Gh05tk3y8 ай бұрын
I honestly thought substance c would be caffeine or capsaicin given how addicting it was. Cheese wasnt even on my radar so nice twist.
@noneofyourbuisness16799 ай бұрын
Was not expecting cheese. Chocolate, coffee, but certainly not cheese. What a pleasant twist!
@Patrick-kq9fy9 ай бұрын
He hooked me with the title
@whirledpeaz57589 ай бұрын
I was pleasantly surprised to deduce via the descriptions of Substance C, that it was not Capsaicin.
@jayb22049 ай бұрын
Substance C was citrus in my mind. I would've never thought of cheese. Thank u
@phi-net24379 ай бұрын
I guessed cheese at the mention of carbohydrates lol great tale
@darklighter89689 ай бұрын
On the first story i was expecting Capsaicin, a.k.a. xenos getting hooked on Tabasco and indian cuisine in general, but damn, Giant wasps, centaurs and spiders getting high on Manchego, Roquefort and snorting Grana Padano fkin made my day xD
@anathardayaldar9 ай бұрын
Isaac Arthur of SFIA yt channel often says that ETs don't need Earth for its raw materials. There's more in the asteroid belt and even the Oort cloud than Earth itself. The only real thing that Earth has that is unique in the galaxy would be our culture and by extension, our flavors. And for ETs that reach post-scarcity civilization, where every physical need is available in plenty, intellectual interests and curiosities may rise to premium status in trade.
@jeanannd9 ай бұрын
LOL, cheese, cheese!!!! I thought would be coffee or Caspian in red peppers. But cheese! LOL
@davethompson33269 ай бұрын
My brain: Chilli? Curry? Cilantro? Cola? Chocolate? Cabbage? Candy Corn? Coconut? Chipotle? Coffee? Cake? Cookies? "Teeming with bacteria" Me: "Ah, must be a Camembert"
@mercutilis9 ай бұрын
Brings new meaning to that quote "Behold the power of cheese!" 😂
@Ezees236 ай бұрын
I'm with the Aliens - cheese is WOOONDERFUL!!! It's probably my favorite food and topping, LOL....
@stevendemunck75079 ай бұрын
I feel called out eating a block of colby as I listened. Thought it would be caffeine or chocolate for sure until about half way through.
@eliandervalderen58499 ай бұрын
Yeah I really found the first story of using I was expecting chocolate or caffeine to be the mysterious substance C I did not expect it to be cheese.
@Maeshalanadae9 ай бұрын
Man, even an Olivarkis is affected?!? But spider horsey go zoom!
@ptonpc9 ай бұрын
Those two stories were great.
@mattbrown55119 ай бұрын
Xenos must worship Wisconsin. The alien in the second story made the mistake of hiring a human mercenary. Good luck to him and his kind.
@yomogami45619 ай бұрын
thanks for the stories and narration
@lupaswolfshead99719 ай бұрын
Wasn't sure if substance c was chocolate or capsaicin until French G. Chocolate. I think people can guess what the L was hehe.
@randomusernameCallin9 ай бұрын
I was thinking of coffee.
@joptopia37959 ай бұрын
When I first read the title I thought Caffeine, then as the story was going I thought chocolate since french chocolate is a thing. But nope that was wrong too
@HenshinFanatic9 ай бұрын
I thought coffee. Type S would be the solid, dried bean; type L is the liquid, prepared form; type G would then obviously be a gaseous form even if I couldn't imagine what that referred to, but I do know the snail suckers love their café. So if anyone invented a new form of coffee they're one of the safe bets.
@lupaswolfshead99719 ай бұрын
the L is laxatives its a common trick used when your food gets repeatedly nicked from the canteen.@@HenshinFanatic
@Ryu_D9 ай бұрын
Thank you for the video.
@greggwilliamson5 ай бұрын
A meal without Cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze.
@jasonswearingin10099 ай бұрын
A favorite quote I once heard (can't recall source). "It's hard to smell the difference between good cheese and bad feet"
@Wastelandman70009 ай бұрын
LOL You got me on the first story. I was thinking vitamin C. (cocaine is too obvious)
@zyanidwarfare56348 ай бұрын
It took me a while to realize what the different ‘types’ of substance C are… F is Feta, G is Gruyère, C Cheddar, S is Swiss
@terranempire28 ай бұрын
Hey kid… wanna buy some cheese? I got American singles, mozzarella, cheddar, Swiss, Colby cheddar jack, provolone, feta, parmigiana, Gorgonzola, and Rochefort… top quality dairy products if you got the credits…
@andreasschone53839 ай бұрын
The Cheese story reminded me of asdf movie, not sure wich one, where the ufo appears and the guy screams "THROW THE CHEESE!" and a hail of cheese gets thrown at it.
@DeepFleeceheart8 ай бұрын
Cheese really be that way
@christianking40029 ай бұрын
Lol I thought it chocolate the whole time then they said cheese and I laughed lol 😆
@adame72699 ай бұрын
I thought it was going to be chocolate or caffeine... but cheese? Those poor, poor aliens.
@whiterabbit759 ай бұрын
How can you deny the galaxy pizza, you monster!
@raven3moon9 ай бұрын
Behold... the power of cheese!
@gillsmoke9 ай бұрын
I mean I'm not quite that rabid but substance C is a regular part of my diet. Like a large part
@drthmik9 ай бұрын
Interesting I was thinking it was Coffee at first then when it was being eaten off of plates I switched to Chocolate then I wasn't sure what it was anymore
@Nathan-fj2un8 ай бұрын
7:39 I think I figured it out C for Cheese
@suzannenln13599 ай бұрын
A whole new take on the Cheese Tax!
@averybowles59539 ай бұрын
Ha! I thought it was chocolate up until the end.
@sedeen53229 ай бұрын
I was not expecting cheese
@derGhebbet9 ай бұрын
Just for the record, humanoid and centaur-like are mutually exclusive. Humanoid means human-like. If you have six limbs, you are not human-like but if you only have four limbs you are not centaur-like.
@kellyj56109 ай бұрын
I thought it was going to be Caffeine. LOL
@destoyer0949 ай бұрын
Sheogorath would be proud of the madness caused by cheese.
@tomaszkarwik63579 ай бұрын
Well that was a quick wait narration. The original was released 9 days ago. Also vwry cool story (just like the rest of u/farmwhich4275)
@valtiel25899 ай бұрын
FOR THE CHEEEEEEEESE.
@deathbedquestion9 ай бұрын
FTC! Lactose tolerance now!
@GSX455s9 ай бұрын
I too have withdraws without my substance C lol
@michaelcgrigori78239 ай бұрын
So no vitamins for aliens?
@majrbacon12938 ай бұрын
As someone who is lactose intolerant, i will never give up cheese. My body will suffer for its mistakes
@alexandravladmets82069 ай бұрын
Coffee, cocaine, citrus?....CHEESE! I´m an addict myself! Just wait til they discover CHOCOLATE!😁 CCC=Coffee, Cheese, Chocolate🤘
@davidragan92339 ай бұрын
Behold the power of...Substance C!
@atomicskull64059 ай бұрын
hard to survive without extra sharp smoked cheddar.
@khazadmann8 ай бұрын
I was certain that Substance C was going to be chocolate. Especially after seeing it's addictive properties on Humans.
@jnorth33419 ай бұрын
Got me there, I was guessing chocolate or caffeine....for the record, I would go far mor psycho if I couldn't get cheese...
@KroMagnum49 ай бұрын
So many comment to to write so I'll leave ya'll with two. "How much for a dime bag of C?" "Cheese - It's a hell of a drug." Cosmic Rick James.
@robertwilliams26239 ай бұрын
Chess of all things
@klappstock9439 ай бұрын
For the Algorithm the story and the voice
@t.j.cornett74959 ай бұрын
Seriously I was just snacking on cheddar and Colby jack.... For the SQUIRREL
@christopherg23477 ай бұрын
Story 1: I guess that is why the aliens always abduct cows?
@Libertarian_Biker9 ай бұрын
Thought substance C was going to be coffee
@dustymiller87529 ай бұрын
I saw substance c and automatically thought CAFFEINE
@merlinathrawes7469 ай бұрын
Cheese, the next best thing to LSD, cocaine, heroin and meth combined. Plus, it tastes good to aliens. Don't think I like that last one. Sounds like a bored first come, first served mercenary without much in the way of scruples.
@juandp38629 ай бұрын
9:33, ok I thought substance c was coffee..... but cheese makes more sense taking in count the comment about bacteria.
@Maeshalanadae2 ай бұрын
Okay, so we have Swiss, Limburger, Gorgonzola…
@galbert1179 ай бұрын
Read the first story when it came out. It was absolutely hilarious.
@Mustangofold9 ай бұрын
Cheese, Chocolate, or Caffeine...hmmm maybe something with all 3....
@christinepearson57889 ай бұрын
I was expecting chocolate or caffeine for substance C on story #1
@Kualinar9 ай бұрын
WOW ! Who could imagine that the humble cheese could cause so much havoc...
@ChocolatePoltergiest9 ай бұрын
Was the human in story 2 hotboxing their space suit?
@ecarots94694 ай бұрын
Cheese, smile when you say that.
@pauldockins96359 ай бұрын
Love cheese so funny
@jasonwilson60629 ай бұрын
I've known someone who had their epi pen on standby as they wanted to try a reeses peice to see what it was all about! Said it was delicious and didn't regret the massive reaction after!
@YourMom-zb4xr8 ай бұрын
I guessed cocaine and caffeine, never 'cheese'
@sessy019 ай бұрын
" Ah, the power of cheese "
@evanreynolds53868 ай бұрын
I thought it was chocolate
@phoboskittym85009 ай бұрын
Don't worry, a mega corp will come up with Cheese free CHEESE, for Cheese intolerant aliens. And make Trillions of credits.
@mnspstudioful9 ай бұрын
France gave it away. That Type G was too obvious. For the Algorithm!