Why Humans Banned Aliens From Eating 'Substance C' & 'That is not what humans are for.'

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Why Humans Banned Aliens From Eating 'Substance C' & 'That is not what humans are for.' | 2259

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Agro Squirrel Narrates

Күн бұрын

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@AgroSquerril 9 ай бұрын

If you are an Author and would like me to narrate your stuff , Send me a message on Reddit (u/Agrosquerril) with permission and I will add you to the pool of authors I pull stories from. (no Guarantees )

@nickheiman6128 9 ай бұрын

@weirdredpanda 9 ай бұрын

The first story: I was thinking Substance C was going to be coffee, caffeine, or chocolate. I wasn't expecting it to be cheese. Awesome twist! 😂 There needs to be a sequel where a black market for cheese inevitably develops. Picture "drug" dealers and Prohibition-type mafia selling cheese.

@Norbrookc 9 ай бұрын

People importing milk and rennet...

@ImFrelled 9 ай бұрын

Titled: "The Cheese Runners"

@EricTheKei 9 ай бұрын

Same here. Behold the Power...of CHEESE!

@EricTheKei 9 ай бұрын

@@Norbrookc "I can quit anytime I want, man...*sniff*...I can contr--- Wait, is that Feta?!?" *chaos* *ensues*

@artyd42 9 ай бұрын

@@EricTheKei hey Feta Feta Feta Gouda Feta Feta Feta.

@beastofaaarrrgghh7759 9 ай бұрын

Story 1: I can empathize with the aliens. Cheese is damn good, lactose intolerance be damned. Story 2: Boredom is a hell of a motivator.

@Tessicaria 9 ай бұрын

As a human that is most definitely addicted to cheese myself, I fully understand how hard it can be to restrain oneself in its presence. But the poor aliens never stood a chance.

@lupaswolfshead9971 9 ай бұрын

I believe most of the veteran readers/listeners of HFY all became trapped in the the big three C tropes of capsaicin coffee or chocolate lol and all where pretty chuffed with the twist .

@PortablePuertoRican 9 ай бұрын

I know I fell into the 3 tropes but the moment he said cheeze made me audibly chuckle a little.

@Inufan2005 9 ай бұрын

At first I was thinking Caffeine, but at the mention of platters I went chocolate. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

@Elmithian 9 ай бұрын

Tbf, I was expecting a crude twist when I read the title. Since the big Cs had been used so lot already that was my expectation.

@lupaswolfshead9971 9 ай бұрын

yep when he said cheese that was a coffee snorted out of the nose moment for me from laughing@@PortablePuertoRican

@druidofthewolf5996 9 ай бұрын

I thought the big three C were capsaicin , caffeine and cheese

@MidnightSmoke 9 ай бұрын

I can't blame the aliens for loving substance C. Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, and get you the recognition you deserve.

@colleens1107 6 ай бұрын

I’d wail in desolation if I was forever denied cheese too

@IamDarkeye 9 ай бұрын

When Wallace and Gromit made their maiden voyage into the galaxy at large, they couldn’t have known just how dire the consequences would be.

@dravenrogers7040 9 ай бұрын

I feel so embarrassed that it took me so long to figure out what substance is only near the ending I believe that I figured it out even though there were a bunch of other hints

@Inufan2005 9 ай бұрын

Admittedly, I was thinking Caffeine.

@cosmiccake791 9 ай бұрын

I was thinking capsaicin at first😅and then chocolate...

@marvinjohnson2488 9 ай бұрын

Same here. I was thinking all the other C words. Even the French G didn't clue me in until the final few minutes. Awesome tale!

@markfergerson2145 9 ай бұрын

It wasn’t until the mention that it was full of bacteria that I got it. I was thinking coffee, chocolate and capsaicin like everyone else at first, because all have different varieties in one way or another. So it wasn’t just you. Once again Farmwhich gives us a great story, and the Squerril ( to my mind the correct spelling) gives us a great reading. For the algorithm!

@WingManFang1 9 ай бұрын

I thought it was caffeine then coffee….but ah yes….the World(s) Quake at the Power of Cheese…😂😂😂😂😂

@kadirali1456 9 ай бұрын

The second story went over my head

@rainynight02 9 ай бұрын

Essentially, some weird human is a gun for hire, gets high off of some substance and does deals with people to "take care" of their problems, in this case, it was because he was bored. Basically a "I'm a tough guy mercenary" kinda thing?

@Whitetyger0090 9 ай бұрын

@@rainynight02 while i didn't fully 'get it' this is how i understood the story. while i enjoy ASN reading i don't usually enjoy these kinds of stories.

@rainynight02 9 ай бұрын

Cheese! 😂 I was expecting caffeine or citrus for some reason. (Maybe because I'm having orange juice?) But CHEESE?! 🤣 Got me good!

@crudkick 9 ай бұрын

I love when the Xenos write the story, it is fun to see through their optical receptors

@Katzztar 9 ай бұрын

It IS interesting to imagine humans as the alien species visiting another planet and how they would respond to us. There are so many stories of humans being unnerved by an alien that's so unlike us they need a exosuit to survive. But here it's the human in the suit, just how would we be viewed in that situation? Would we be the source of existential horror for the poor alien?

@MortalinaMortifera 9 ай бұрын

It’s so fulfilling to see your channel grow, you started so small, you are so dedicated and now you’re finally approaching 100k! A HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE SAW YOU AND LIKED YOU CONTENT! That insane! Congrats my friend!

@patraic5241 9 ай бұрын

I found the first story very amusing. Especially since I can't ingest any dairy protein.

@johnnymellon7414 9 ай бұрын

Why not? You gonna ink everywhere too?

@patraic5241 9 ай бұрын

@@johnnymellon7414 Well it wouldn't be ink per say. 😁

@smaragdwolf1 9 ай бұрын

slightly similar for me. Luckily only a mild form of lactose intolerance, but dislike cheese for another, stupid reason. Molten cheese, like on pizza, Burgers, lasagne, Cordon bleu or every other food on this planet that has some kind of molten cheese..... i absolutely hate the taste of it. Whenever i visit friends, i have to bring lactase tablets with me... because they love cheese and cook with it too. For my sake, they try to avoid it or only use small amounts... but i still need the tablets.

@WE-te3vp 9 ай бұрын

I have to admit being from Wisconsin I can confirm how addictive substance c is

@SoteksChunkyProphet-dg7io 9 ай бұрын

Honestly, cheese is amazing. it makes literally any food better... maybe not ice-cream, i haven't tried. Although actually, given the track record of cheese, it probably bangs.

@efffvss 9 ай бұрын

I've had lemon and marscarpone ice cream before. It was very good (and that's comnibng from someone who's not a huge fan of ice cream).

@jesenjin8467 9 ай бұрын

Cheese? EDIT: I knew it! Those letters after C were one clue, and another was substance C from France

@WorldWalker128 9 ай бұрын

I love stories about aliens getting addicted to mundane food or drinks. So much fun!

@RealArcalian 9 ай бұрын

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: Huh, thought it was gonna be chocolate. Story 2: Actually read this one before. But that's what to go for, not just vicious and brutal Humans, but also *psychologically unsettling.*

@darkdarklighting 9 ай бұрын

Why Humans Banned Aliens From Eating 'Substance C' That's a very cheesy story.

@davethompson3326 9 ай бұрын

Full of plot holes.

@alamarxandal7525 9 ай бұрын

Well to be fair, apparently cheese activate the same parts of the brains as hard drugs so it does make sense in a way.

@tobiasmoller3837 9 ай бұрын

ok, was not expecting cheese. I thought of caffeine, capsaicin and even C17H21NO4

@fnors2 9 ай бұрын

I thought of Chocolate for a while

@rainynight02 9 ай бұрын

@@fnors2 I had just eaten some chocolate but hadn't thought of that! I thought Caffeine or Citrus!

@johnnymellon7414 9 ай бұрын

From the title I also thought of capsaicin first. When OP started reading a bit and describing symptoms, I also thought about C17 or its base derivate... until he mentioned the microorganisms

@Kualinar 9 ай бұрын

My first though was vitamin C, then citrus and other fruits. That is, until the mention of microorganism and that destroying those had only very little to no effect on the taste. Also, the very large variety : Cheese it is.

@TheDurid1 9 ай бұрын

Worshipping a floor tile was a really poor choice of words. Didn't realize he actually made some tile into a shrine.

@Charlie94781 7 ай бұрын

Cheez its shrine

@lupaswolfshead9971 9 ай бұрын

Wow that want expected an amazing twist at the end even surprised me cool

@sanityflyer5294 9 ай бұрын

I whole heartedly thought it was gonna be chocolate. Since they often contain the body parts of cockroaches. As people arent actually allergic to the chocolate for the most part, but the cockroache's body parts in the chocolate if they get in there. (Before someone or people attack me in the comments, you'd be surprised at how horrible companies keep their facilities clean.)

@jackreisewitz6632 9 ай бұрын

If people get upset with you, just direct them to the government regulations controlling how much insect body parts, mouse droppings, bird doodoo, etc. can be in the grain food is produced from.

@sanityflyer5294 9 ай бұрын

@jackreisewitz6632 Yes, I know this. Thanks for the reminder. But companies usually have worse conditions or don't actually follow the minimal requirement. As someone who's seen it first hand. They are good at hiding it when they get searched for the violations.

@elmodelo101 9 ай бұрын

Well, I guess it makes sense that insects are attracted to food, especially to sweet food.

@Squall598 9 ай бұрын

Second story is like making a deal with the devil. Except it was a deal with a human.

@hanzzel6086 9 ай бұрын

Eh, same thing in a lot of these stories.

@mattbrown5511 9 ай бұрын

Depends on the human, right?

@Josh-iv2bw 9 ай бұрын

Theres a difference?

@Jaegerrants 9 ай бұрын

Humans dont usually also screw over who thay make deals with, but for the target, it just might be the very devils coming for them.

@Josh-iv2bw 9 ай бұрын

@@Jaegerrants this depends on the human. Lets be fair.

@Rob8729 9 ай бұрын

Imagine the alien wars fought over cheesecake.

@KungfooBucket 9 ай бұрын

Capsaicin, coffee, chocolate, cheese... It's got to be one of these!

@williamwalker8107 9 ай бұрын

I was thinking vitamin C.

@darwinskeeper421 9 ай бұрын

At first I assumed that substance C was COFFEE, due to my fondness for the beverage. I eventually switched to cheese after hearing about different foods made of the substance. As much as we humans love our coffee, we rarely use it in other foods.

@smaragdwolf1 9 ай бұрын

"french type G" - shortly after that was mentioned, i locked my guess on cheese XD

@PanduPoluan 9 ай бұрын

@@smaragdwolf1I originally thought coffee ... Type L is Latte, Type C is Cappuccino... That mention of French-type disavowed me of that notion.

@scottlowther9967 9 ай бұрын

The disturbingly obvious: the base substance for cheese, milk, can be extracted from about half the human population When the aliens figure *that* out, there's going to be a massive human trafficking problem. When "Mars needs women" gets going, there's gonna be some serious ass-kicking by the pissed off forces of humanity.

@valtiel2589 9 ай бұрын

* awkward silence* *tries to figure out a way to make a youtube friendly version of this story* *fails horribly and starts writing it anyway*

@tiikkifi 9 ай бұрын

@@valtiel2589 LOL

@Darqshadow 9 ай бұрын

@valtiel2589 don't forget Humanities penchant for nuclear warfare. No one messes with humans... except humans

@Maddog3060 9 ай бұрын

Story 1: Behold: the power of cheese. Story 2: Yeah, mercs are something else.

@Gh05tk3y 8 ай бұрын

I honestly thought substance c would be caffeine or capsaicin given how addicting it was. Cheese wasnt even on my radar so nice twist.

@noneofyourbuisness1679 9 ай бұрын

Was not expecting cheese. Chocolate, coffee, but certainly not cheese. What a pleasant twist!

@Patrick-kq9fy 9 ай бұрын

He hooked me with the title

@whirledpeaz5758 9 ай бұрын

I was pleasantly surprised to deduce via the descriptions of Substance C, that it was not Capsaicin.

@jayb2204 9 ай бұрын

Substance C was citrus in my mind. I would've never thought of cheese. Thank u

@phi-net2437 9 ай бұрын

I guessed cheese at the mention of carbohydrates lol great tale

@darklighter8968 9 ай бұрын

On the first story i was expecting Capsaicin, a.k.a. xenos getting hooked on Tabasco and indian cuisine in general, but damn, Giant wasps, centaurs and spiders getting high on Manchego, Roquefort and snorting Grana Padano fkin made my day xD

@anathardayaldar 9 ай бұрын

Isaac Arthur of SFIA yt channel often says that ETs don't need Earth for its raw materials. There's more in the asteroid belt and even the Oort cloud than Earth itself. The only real thing that Earth has that is unique in the galaxy would be our culture and by extension, our flavors. And for ETs that reach post-scarcity civilization, where every physical need is available in plenty, intellectual interests and curiosities may rise to premium status in trade.

@jeanannd 9 ай бұрын

LOL, cheese, cheese!!!! I thought would be coffee or Caspian in red peppers. But cheese! LOL

@davethompson3326 9 ай бұрын

My brain: Chilli? Curry? Cilantro? Cola? Chocolate? Cabbage? Candy Corn? Coconut? Chipotle? Coffee? Cake? Cookies? "Teeming with bacteria" Me: "Ah, must be a Camembert"

@mercutilis 9 ай бұрын

Brings new meaning to that quote "Behold the power of cheese!" 😂

@Ezees23 6 ай бұрын

I'm with the Aliens - cheese is WOOONDERFUL!!! It's probably my favorite food and topping, LOL....

@stevendemunck7507 9 ай бұрын

I feel called out eating a block of colby as I listened. Thought it would be caffeine or chocolate for sure until about half way through.

@eliandervalderen5849 9 ай бұрын

Yeah I really found the first story of using I was expecting chocolate or caffeine to be the mysterious substance C I did not expect it to be cheese.

@Maeshalanadae 9 ай бұрын

Man, even an Olivarkis is affected?!? But spider horsey go zoom!

@ptonpc 9 ай бұрын

Those two stories were great.

@mattbrown5511 9 ай бұрын

Xenos must worship Wisconsin. The alien in the second story made the mistake of hiring a human mercenary. Good luck to him and his kind.

@yomogami4561 9 ай бұрын

thanks for the stories and narration

@lupaswolfshead9971 9 ай бұрын

Wasn't sure if substance c was chocolate or capsaicin until French G. Chocolate. I think people can guess what the L was hehe.

@randomusernameCallin 9 ай бұрын

I was thinking of coffee.

@joptopia3795 9 ай бұрын

When I first read the title I thought Caffeine, then as the story was going I thought chocolate since french chocolate is a thing. But nope that was wrong too

@HenshinFanatic 9 ай бұрын

I thought coffee. Type S would be the solid, dried bean; type L is the liquid, prepared form; type G would then obviously be a gaseous form even if I couldn't imagine what that referred to, but I do know the snail suckers love their café. So if anyone invented a new form of coffee they're one of the safe bets.

@lupaswolfshead9971 9 ай бұрын

the L is laxatives its a common trick used when your food gets repeatedly nicked from the canteen.@@HenshinFanatic

@Ryu_D 9 ай бұрын

Thank you for the video.

@greggwilliamson 5 ай бұрын

A meal without Cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze.

@jasonswearingin1009 9 ай бұрын

A favorite quote I once heard (can't recall source). "It's hard to smell the difference between good cheese and bad feet"

@Wastelandman7000 9 ай бұрын

LOL You got me on the first story. I was thinking vitamin C. (cocaine is too obvious)

@zyanidwarfare5634 8 ай бұрын

It took me a while to realize what the different ‘types’ of substance C are… F is Feta, G is Gruyère, C Cheddar, S is Swiss

@terranempire2 8 ай бұрын

Hey kid… wanna buy some cheese? I got American singles, mozzarella, cheddar, Swiss, Colby cheddar jack, provolone, feta, parmigiana, Gorgonzola, and Rochefort… top quality dairy products if you got the credits…

@andreasschone5383 9 ай бұрын

The Cheese story reminded me of asdf movie, not sure wich one, where the ufo appears and the guy screams "THROW THE CHEESE!" and a hail of cheese gets thrown at it.

@DeepFleeceheart 8 ай бұрын

Cheese really be that way

@christianking4002 9 ай бұрын

Lol I thought it chocolate the whole time then they said cheese and I laughed lol 😆

@adame7269 9 ай бұрын

I thought it was going to be chocolate or caffeine... but cheese? Those poor, poor aliens.

@whiterabbit75 9 ай бұрын

How can you deny the galaxy pizza, you monster!

@raven3moon 9 ай бұрын

Behold... the power of cheese!

@gillsmoke 9 ай бұрын

I mean I'm not quite that rabid but substance C is a regular part of my diet. Like a large part

@drthmik 9 ай бұрын

Interesting I was thinking it was Coffee at first then when it was being eaten off of plates I switched to Chocolate then I wasn't sure what it was anymore

@Nathan-fj2un 8 ай бұрын

7:39 I think I figured it out C for Cheese

@suzannenln1359 9 ай бұрын

A whole new take on the Cheese Tax!

@averybowles5953 9 ай бұрын

Ha! I thought it was chocolate up until the end.

@sedeen5322 9 ай бұрын

I was not expecting cheese

@derGhebbet 9 ай бұрын

Just for the record, humanoid and centaur-like are mutually exclusive. Humanoid means human-like. If you have six limbs, you are not human-like but if you only have four limbs you are not centaur-like.

@kellyj5610 9 ай бұрын

I thought it was going to be Caffeine. LOL

@destoyer094 9 ай бұрын

Sheogorath would be proud of the madness caused by cheese.

@tomaszkarwik6357 9 ай бұрын

Well that was a quick wait narration. The original was released 9 days ago. Also vwry cool story (just like the rest of u/farmwhich4275)

@valtiel2589 9 ай бұрын

FOR THE CHEEEEEEEESE.

@deathbedquestion 9 ай бұрын

FTC! Lactose tolerance now!

@GSX455s 9 ай бұрын

I too have withdraws without my substance C lol

@michaelcgrigori7823 9 ай бұрын

So no vitamins for aliens?

@majrbacon1293 8 ай бұрын

As someone who is lactose intolerant, i will never give up cheese. My body will suffer for its mistakes

@alexandravladmets8206 9 ай бұрын

Coffee, cocaine, citrus?....CHEESE! I´m an addict myself! Just wait til they discover CHOCOLATE!😁 CCC=Coffee, Cheese, Chocolate🤘

@davidragan9233 9 ай бұрын

Behold the power of...Substance C!

@atomicskull6405 9 ай бұрын

hard to survive without extra sharp smoked cheddar.

@khazadmann 8 ай бұрын

I was certain that Substance C was going to be chocolate. Especially after seeing it's addictive properties on Humans.

@jnorth3341 9 ай бұрын

Got me there, I was guessing chocolate or caffeine....for the record, I would go far mor psycho if I couldn't get cheese...

@KroMagnum4 9 ай бұрын

So many comment to to write so I'll leave ya'll with two. "How much for a dime bag of C?" "Cheese - It's a hell of a drug." Cosmic Rick James.

@robertwilliams2623 9 ай бұрын

Chess of all things

@klappstock943 9 ай бұрын

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

@t.j.cornett7495 9 ай бұрын

Seriously I was just snacking on cheddar and Colby jack.... For the SQUIRREL

@christopherg2347 7 ай бұрын

Story 1: I guess that is why the aliens always abduct cows?

@Libertarian_Biker 9 ай бұрын

Thought substance C was going to be coffee

@dustymiller8752 9 ай бұрын

I saw substance c and automatically thought CAFFEINE

@merlinathrawes746 9 ай бұрын

Cheese, the next best thing to LSD, cocaine, heroin and meth combined. Plus, it tastes good to aliens. Don't think I like that last one. Sounds like a bored first come, first served mercenary without much in the way of scruples.

@juandp3862 9 ай бұрын

9:33, ok I thought substance c was coffee..... but cheese makes more sense taking in count the comment about bacteria.

@Maeshalanadae 2 ай бұрын

Okay, so we have Swiss, Limburger, Gorgonzola…

@galbert117 9 ай бұрын

Read the first story when it came out. It was absolutely hilarious.

@Mustangofold 9 ай бұрын

Cheese, Chocolate, or Caffeine...hmmm maybe something with all 3....

@christinepearson5788 9 ай бұрын

I was expecting chocolate or caffeine for substance C on story #1

@Kualinar 9 ай бұрын

WOW ! Who could imagine that the humble cheese could cause so much havoc...

@ChocolatePoltergiest 9 ай бұрын

Was the human in story 2 hotboxing their space suit?

@ecarots9469 4 ай бұрын

Cheese, smile when you say that.

@pauldockins9635 9 ай бұрын

Love cheese so funny

@jasonwilson6062 9 ай бұрын

I've known someone who had their epi pen on standby as they wanted to try a reeses peice to see what it was all about! Said it was delicious and didn't regret the massive reaction after!