why i've chosen to be open about my trans* identity
Рет қаралды 26,638
11 жыл бұрынan overview of starting college thinking i'd be stealth, and my choice/results of choosing to open up again!
new yorker article: www.newyorker.com/online/blogs...
ftm den page (i'm featured! also a great resource): ftmden.webs.com/
just got a twitter! = / skylarkeleven
and for my facebook page, simply google 'skylarkeleven facebook' since the link doesn't seem to work ;]
happy monday friends!
Links:
Twitter: @skylarkeleven and #askskylark
Instagram: / skylarkergil
Facebook: / 121641174594412
Tumblr: / skylark11
Music: skylarkergil.bandcamp.com
Merch/Shirts/Cds: skylarkergil.bandcamp.com/merch
Email (for business, speaking, performing etc inquiries only please!): skylarkeleven@gmail.com
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
any questions that start with "this may be insensitive, but" are usually insensitive, my friend.
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
i just don't even know why you would wonder that! but in any case, in the past, i acted completely normally. no different. my periods never affected me much.
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
ah yes, definitely a good question. i've had this conversation with my mum many times. i think in many ways my book will be more than just about being trans, but i also am pretty proud and feel most fulfilled by my contributions and interactions within the trans community :] as i move forward next year, however, the book and my music are my main focuses, as well as working to find a career/job path that i feel meets my needs of helping others and using creative outlets!
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
my top surgery was roughly 7,500$ but it depends on your surgeon - can range from 4k to 10k i've seen :]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
hey my friend, that's totally fine. it is something i cant fix until i get a new computer or webcam - i actually tried recording this on my digital camera before and it wouldnt even move over to my computer - that's how old and slow it is, so the mic is super old too. apologies, i definitely understand and want to get a better video camera! :]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
definitely a tough choice to make, but i hope that whichever path you decide works out well :] i started hormones 7 months before entering college and definitely passed - however, no one there will know you even if you havent started hormones, you could simply brush it off with saying you've had delayed puberty or whatnot if you wanted to be super stealth. feel it out when you get there - it took me over a year to decide :]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
great idea! i mean, i will definitely keep everyone posted via all the social media networks i've impossibly connected myself too heh. i'm estimating the book will be done in a year or so, so there is time ;]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
hey my friend - that is definitely a tough situation to be in. my gut instinct would be to move as well if possible - even if it's just a few hours away to a town with a more liberal mindset. i find college towns are pretty liberal - may be a good place to search as well. but in the meantime, i would probably have chosen to remain stealth as well.
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
thanks! it's not though - its a common problem with older macbooks - the video camera reflects off the white space and records it as noise. there's no solution except expensive editing software and if so, i would probably just get a computer instead (which i am planning! i have tried everything!)
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
you can google 'hudsons ftm guide' which has a lot of good information about physical transitioning :]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
T usually stops it. mine stopped after my first shot, but some folks it can take a few months to even a year depending how strong their estrogen is even while on T. T won't stop it permanently - there's eventually a point where it becomes a health risk to have the two hormones competing (happened to me about 2 years on T sadly, they say before 5 often) and the individual may have to choose surgery or stopping T or altering hormones in some way.
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
i definitely have noticed that reaction among folks who know transwomen. it's super unfortunate, and i hate that discrimination is much higher for transwomen than transmen in a lot of cases (school, health, social). the best thing we can hope for is with positive trans* influences, that that stigma will eventually fall away. so keep being you and fight against those awful beliefs by simply existing :]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
totally understandable! i feel similarly :] and i will do my best to make a more specific series of coming out videos, with different ones talking about: coming out in high school, coming out in college, coming out after passing 100% as male, and coming out to a dating partner after passing 100% as male. any of those sound unnecessary/any i should add? :]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
hey my friend - definitely don't worry about it too much! check with your school if they offer gender-neutral or lgbt housing - i was housed with a girl i found on facebook beforehand who was totally cool with it - res life told me i would have to have a single since no one else signed up for gender neutral housing and i wanted a roommate - after the girl left at thanksgiving (personal issues), i chose a guy friend as my roommate :] ask res life what your options are ahead of time!
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
theyve been great overall/in the end! i will make an updated family video as well when i make a series of coming out ones :]
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
i thankfully havent been harassed by guys who can't accept me as a trans man. i've actually been more attacked and unaccepted by other folks within the LGBT community which saddens me :/
@raysdumbvlog 11 жыл бұрын
Oh wow, I just made a video discussing this topic recently, so it's really cool to see that someone else feels the same way! I'm still pre-everything right now, so of course there's always a chance that my feelings will change as I go through with my transition, but as of now I really have no desire to go stealth. It just feels like I'd be living in fear all over again, and that's the last thing I want.
@jayteeshaw 11 жыл бұрын
Being "stealth" in college has been one of the hardest things for me to do, yet when I think about it, I'm not actually stealth. As you said - I don't tell the whole world but I'm also not afraid to talk about it. It's good to know that there's other people out there who are the same way, especially somebody like you (seeing as how you're huge in the youtube trans* community)
@MattPasini 11 жыл бұрын
You are a huge inspiration to me. Coincidentally I've chose recently in the past few months to be as open as I can as well about being FTM. It makes me feel a lot more comfortable about myself. It gives me hope I'm not alone.
@dlauri 11 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate your willingness to share your journey. It's not only good for you but you're doing good things for other people, trans, of course, but also cis by promoting understanding.
@TheGeneticsEnigma 11 жыл бұрын
I'm stealth and it's not because I'm ashamed of who I am. It might be because of my location but GLBT people are always treated different here. If I was open I would be afraid that people would always think of me different or ask about my genitals. I couldn't deal with that. Thanks for all you do for the community though Sky. I have a feeling you're going to foster a lot of understanding between the cis and trans worlds in your life.
@chasedavidsonspeaks 11 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your response. I'll try again! I can do it :)
@WalkingIntoTheSunset 11 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you're happy with your choice. Everyone deserves to be happy with their life, yet few are able to get to that point.
@ashxc 11 жыл бұрын
you know, you have vocalized a lot of how i feel about myself, feeling closer to being male on the spectrum, but probably middle of the road in masculinity to femininity. i identify as genderqueer, though. i have been watching a lot of ftm vids lately but i need some more years to think about how much of my bodily dysphoria originates from my biology (i'm 22 but this is new for me). also, i've been a casual viewer for a while and think you are the most adorable guy. you make me smile.
@KellyRebeccaSan 11 жыл бұрын
You're such an inspiration, Sky, honestly! I'm always threating about whether or not I'm being too feminine. I'm not on T yet and won't be for a long time but I'm always conscious of everything I do. If I rest on one foot a little I freak out and have to correct the way i'm standing. Things like the way I laugh or show affection to people. It's almost annoying as like you said, I'm nearing the middle of the spectrum. Thank you,your videos help to know it's ok to be comfortable within yourself :)
@xYourCute 11 жыл бұрын
There are many surgeries you can get, it just depends. There are internal surgeries (removal of female organs- more common) and external (obviously adding on a prosthetic penis- less common).
@phoenixflorida 11 жыл бұрын
I'll also add: you have a strength of character most people don't have. If you lived in a more conservative area I could see you taking the reins and effecting some big changes. I don't think I have the guts or vision to do anything like that. My only hope is to move far away. It's just not financially feasible at the moment. But I'd love to hear your opinions on guys like us, who are stuck being stealth, with no relief in the near future, where slip-ups could be potentially lethal. Take care.
@vervelingsfilmpjes 11 жыл бұрын
even though I'm not trans i really look up to you as a person.and I'm sure I'm not the only one. keep up the good work. and we all love you sky.
@RayneKMDCHSTaylor 11 жыл бұрын
I want your book. Seriously. It would be so amazing. If I could pre-order it now, I would.
@skylarkeleven 11 жыл бұрын
my name is skylar. my birth name was not skylar however.
@Tigertail7 11 жыл бұрын
You do have a wide range! I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm not trans, you just inspire me and help me see life from a different pov. Also I just wanted to say u always seem so happy. I love your attitude!!
@pinamana 11 жыл бұрын
looks aside, your articulacy and courage are incredibly respectable traits. gl with all your future plans!
@KayCeeBeni 11 жыл бұрын
Whenever I'm having a rough day, I always come to your channel to watch your videos. It really helps me get through hard times, so thank you for being so open about your journey. You are such a wonderful inspiration, and a truly beautiful person =)
@emmajanesplace 11 жыл бұрын
why don't you live in england? honestly you are so beautiful it makes me weep. also, it's absolutely incredible how far you have come since the beginning. i have so much respect for you.
@KazWinchester 10 жыл бұрын
You have one of the sweetest smiles I've ever seen.
@Spiffet 11 жыл бұрын
Wow. I'm so glad that you're happy with being out. Thanks for sharing, this video made me smile.
@N0die 11 жыл бұрын
I have an ex, and he still has this as an issue it's just like infrequent and random, other than that he was open about his frustration about it. I recall stories of stuff lie, his Hockey games being interrupted by this sort of thing (not being able to anticipate it).
@riv377 11 жыл бұрын
Dear god, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's having issues with this! I always tell my friends and they just think I'm weird, but the only people who's ever had issues with me being trans were (besides my parents) people from the LGBT community, it's really sad. :/
@sikeedelic8348 11 жыл бұрын
I love how you brought up the cisgendered concept. A lot of people need to be exposed to this term since it is such a binary and a "box" as you've said. There are too many binaries and sometimes the trans community gets sh*t for that. I think a lot of pressure is also placed on the T community because of our binary world we live in...black/white, male/female, democrat/republican, etc. You know what I mean? People assume that EVERY member of the T community reverts to being cisgendered...
@laurenriley2943 9 жыл бұрын
Stealth is not worth it. the less that you have to hide about yourself, the better. Then again, I also come from a different background. I have Cerebral Palsy, so I am used to people asking questions and so forth. This is why being out to everyone does not bother me.
@EllohItsEmily 11 жыл бұрын
You're such a handsome man, and I love how you are open about it, you're a role model for other Trans people and even for I.
@Gerdien2000 11 жыл бұрын
You are who you are and it's good to be open. You're a good guy and I love your vids. You rock!
@TheGFeather 11 жыл бұрын
The world needs at least some trans* people to be open or the stigma will never disappear. You come across as an 'average' person, whatever one might define that is, and that is less scary to people who have no experience with gender variance. There are so many faces of trans* identity that don't get seen if no one speaks out.
@Shiman2k 11 жыл бұрын
I am very thankful for you documenting a lot of your journey and the many different aspects pertaining to urself as well.
@RandomnessIsBliss13 11 жыл бұрын
speaking from the point of view of a cisgender female, you are an inspiration. Ohmigosh I am just amazed at how open and proud you are and I think you are an excellent human being and a great spokesperson for the LGBT community :)
@Sassssssquatch 11 жыл бұрын
you are such an inspiration. Thank you for just being you.
@LovelySarcastic 11 жыл бұрын
I really have a hard time living in a "red" state. I sucks because I have to keep my opinions to myself for my own SAFTEY! We can't even talk about gay rights! I makes me sick. I'm completely straight but I believe that everyone has the right to love who they will now matter what gender. You give me hope for the world!
@JSdunn 11 жыл бұрын
Watching this just kicked my day and mood up several notches! I love to hear about how well you're doing and that you're happy, and I can't wait to buy and read your book whenever that happens! No pressure ;P
@cogitated 11 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say that I think you are a wonderful human being. It takes a lot of courage for many people to truly be themselves irrespective of their gender identity. Some never attain that self peace of being who they are inside. For a young person such as yourself, to have such insight and maturity is inspirational. I wish you all the best in life :)
@ImAmusedByMusic 11 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for being you...it helps me to be okay with...being me.
@CarolinaPanamera 11 жыл бұрын
even if the internet is nowadays more powerful than books, a book is always there, and the internet is more fleeting, so, bonne chance avec ton livre!
@KarkittytVantas 11 жыл бұрын
You are such an inspiration to me Sky, you don't even know it. I'm currently trying to work up the courage to come out as FTM trans to my parents, so I've watched your videos more and they are such a big help! Keep up being awesome, and have a good day! :D ~Decklan
@trashbandic00t 11 жыл бұрын
My brother used to go to Saint Rose!
@harrypotter17120 11 жыл бұрын
Im so glad that you're happy
@8932ken 11 жыл бұрын
You're soo comforting you make me feel grounded:) Best of luck mate!
@dzividani 11 жыл бұрын
i could nevah.
@weareafairytale 11 жыл бұрын
Because of you I look at transgenders WAY different. You're super cool!
@Pernilletubs 11 жыл бұрын
I think you are so sweet and natural! It's a pleasure to hear you speak about your experience with transitioning. The world would be a better place if more people were like u! :) You are a really smart guy and have a down to earth way of being, thats so great and awesome! I wish you all the best :) U deserve it :)
@rachelphillips3723 11 жыл бұрын
youre literally perfect
@josepooh13th 11 жыл бұрын
Hi Sky, how are you? I wrote a lot of emails to Anna, in these months. I just wanted to tell you that you guys are my inspiration, thank you for helping me. Me and my boyfriend are so greateful for you, guys. I learnet to love him because of you. Rome is waiting for you, can't wait to see you! Lots of love
@xdreamerxxgirlx 11 жыл бұрын
Hey! It's amazing the way you've changed! You look more confident! I wish I had the chance to talk to you at least once. You are such a beautiful person (in and out). Keep it up!!! I wish you the best, and a happy life! :D XOXOXO
@SweetCarofine 11 жыл бұрын
That's awesome! It makes me happy to see you happy! :)
@Tabbystripes44 11 жыл бұрын
A great guy, a great person! Such a positive inspiration to all the people of the world.
@rhysnyc 11 жыл бұрын
You have essentially outlined all the reasons I have also chosen to be open about my trans identity. Just a head's up - I sent you a message here on KZfaq about an art project I'm working on, of sorts. Would love it if you'd take a look! :)
@highnoonqueen 11 жыл бұрын
In my mind we're already married
@audiovisuality 11 жыл бұрын
Glad to hear people are supporting you and you feel comfortable. I like hearing about your creative endeavors. Maybe your KZfaq channel can be a companion to your book. It would be interesting if they referred to each other. Cheers!
@Rid97527 11 жыл бұрын
I love the way you speak, oh my god.. You sound so educated & intelligent x
@1951jbr 11 жыл бұрын
Beautifully clear presentation Sky. I can't help to be impressed with how you manage your life. Enjoy your day and don't forget to take a rest. Jeff
@mearleliuguta6985 11 жыл бұрын
Dude, you're gorgeous.
@phoenixflorida 11 жыл бұрын
Hey Sky. I've been watching your videos for over two years now and they give me hope. I am stealth, and suffer from the same things that troubled you when you tried that route. You live in a more liberal part of the country, and people you know in real life turned out to be accepting and cool--but here on the internet, there's people from all over the world, and you get rude comments sometimes. And that's how most people are where I'm from: ignorant and proud. Do you have any thoughts/advice?
@tomrodgg 11 жыл бұрын
You are truely an amazing person. To be open and out about you're transition is wonderful. You are very inspiring and I love watching you're videos cause they make me smile :) keep up the amazing work you are doing
@himirubye 11 жыл бұрын
you're beautiful..
@HotChelsiRae 11 жыл бұрын
Hey man keep it up. You're the happiest person I've seen and that's saying a lot. I'm not trans, but I watch a lot of transitioning videos and it's amazing how much happier they are in the body they feel they should have been born in. Anyways, I'm rambling, but just keep being you.
@daringbrooks 11 жыл бұрын
I'd read your book!
@sarahsallylaing 11 жыл бұрын
You're great, my friend!
@dionysusfranco1016 11 жыл бұрын
You're a gorgeous guy, all the best to you and good luck with your book. :)
@EternalxLiife 11 жыл бұрын
omgg huge voice change!!!
@AnneLien1987 11 жыл бұрын
You're so sweet. You have a great heart.
@Expireddepression 11 жыл бұрын
So gorgeous.
@happyrainbow236 11 жыл бұрын
You remind me so much of my brother (he was born a boy) You even sound like him!! Wow! I'm not trans gender, but I still follow all of your videos and TheRealJazzbertie. It's amazing and I love educating myself about other people tackling their life challenges.
@dihhikari247 11 жыл бұрын
You're awesome skylar :3
@Grubgangcreations 11 жыл бұрын
They're just jealous how you turned out more handsome then they could. ;)
@dozingcat 11 жыл бұрын
you are just so amazing! Thank you
@WariJedo 11 жыл бұрын
you will always be beautiful no matter what.. ur personality is just killing.. dear
@WariJedo 11 жыл бұрын
hahahhaa couldn't move my eyes from your lips... it goes o and - and o and - x.x
@donyelleikelman2721 11 жыл бұрын
you are so amazing
@NearlyNathan 11 жыл бұрын
I would be interested in know how you go about coming out to people ( professors, coworkers, new friends) at point in transition where you pass 100% as male. I also wish to be out as trans because its more comfortable but being far enough in transition no one knows unless I tell them, which I don't know how to do without it seeming like a big deal I guess. Sometimes I feel that I would be burdening them with unnecessary personal information.
@Justannano 11 жыл бұрын
Your an amazing young man.
@nipsey3221 11 жыл бұрын
thnk u :)
@ollieroberts4532 11 жыл бұрын
please could you do another photo comparison video I really liked the last ones thankyou
@Zalzaroth 11 жыл бұрын
I know this is super unrelated LOL but your computer sounds like its overheating try giving it more space where the cooling fan is just a helpful hint
@bizarrart79 11 жыл бұрын
Congrats! well done, man :)
@rubyjon6964 11 жыл бұрын
And testosterone
@oneboikyle 11 жыл бұрын
Of course I know what the channel is about; this is one of the channels I watched a lot before starting one to document my own transition. Wondering about what surgery he's had etc, it's his choice if he's open to questions like that. I didn't comment on that. But I'm still confused as to how your attraction to girls comes into this at all; he is a guy and, whatever his body (currently, or in the past or future) that's what matters. So why does you maybe liking girls come into this? Do explain.
@user-vu5jf2fo5h 9 жыл бұрын
I read about you on The New Yorker. It described you as boy band-ish cute lol.
@chasedavidsonspeaks 11 жыл бұрын
You're awesome and I want to watch all your videos, but like lilsis said, they have a really high pitched buzz in the background, and I can't get through it, I'm sorry :(
@lilsis 11 жыл бұрын
Sky, i really want to watch this but I just can't. :( i'm getting terrible headache from the audio. There's a really a high pitch tone! :(
@beastinitup24711 11 жыл бұрын
oh my gosh stop your actually so cute
@everettejulie77 11 жыл бұрын
ur a gorgeous person no matter what sex! very brave also. props to u!!!
@nilkamusic6485 11 жыл бұрын
I love your videos, there simply amazing.