Not a better way to explain then what you just said

Totally agree. Men don''t have a midlife crisis. They have an awakening as they learn their true value.

Wow dude same im 29

@@DeltaTempest y many my single male friends also face this

Well done man proud of you 💪 Takes guts. Remember is perfectly OK to feel some fear and worry that's natural. So don't be too hard on yourself. And stick to it and keep moving forward. And when ever you doubt your decision always remember it may seem difficult now. But remember the pain now will be far less than another 20 years from now or nearing the end of your life. That level of regret would be far more pain then anything right now. So trust in yourself man. It will all work out. Often in better and more ways than you can even possibly imagine right now 👌You've got this 💪

It could be dancing, or singing too. I meet a lot of men on the dance floor.

Just don't go red pill. Actualized is a great channel for personal development as well.

I appreciate the nuance but it would require a lot more insight for all of us to be able to dig deep of what's the "right action" for our souls. IMO Connor talks about the realization that "shit happens". All your work to start that business and it didn't pan out the way you hoped for. E.g. you open that new hotel, did all the research and then COVID happens, things that are absolutely out of your control. It's a devastating experience that can lead to a deep crisis. A whole other discussion is that maybe what's deeply right for some is not that far off from how they act (e.g. being a good father and provider) but they feel unhappy and unfulfilled with themselves and their outcome. A lot of us men are not in touch with that deeper truth in ourselves and our needs that go beyond the surface criteria of society (materialism, hot partner, etc.). So, with that lack of emotional insight, instead of looking inside and learning that what we're fed up with *could actually be changed* if we took charge and learned how to communicate our needs, or follow our deeper sense of purpose, some of us just start acting out against the things that annoy us, like the sexless marriage, the annoying coworker etc.

@@peteradelhardt3742 Good evening and thank you for that thoughtful response. And I agree with everything you said. My only gripe with my original missive is that it can be considered a mistake to right action doesn’t always lead to right outcome. As you indicated, if right action is not viscerally ‘right’ because we are not aware enough to determine the action that would be truly right, then the poor outcome did not come from an actual right action. It is unfortunate that many men did not think it was important enough to explore ‘inside’ to find what would make us truly happy, or maybe they never even thought about that possibility. But, many are unhappy. In this age of connectedness, there has never been as many unhappy people (as evidenced by increasing suicide rates, excessive drinking, adultery, name the vice. We are suffering because we don’t know ourselves well enough to determine our individual right action. But I’m going off on a tangent. It’s just that once one gets in touch with ones own feelings and needs, and acts with right action from that space, things tend to work out for one’s highest and best. Shit happens, and may be that shit is meant to move us onto a different (possibly better ) path. Who knows. But it’s so important to take the journey and figure out who one is and what makes one happy, if one wants to be happy in the remaining years one has. We are all doing the best we can. But if I am not actually engaging in right action (from ones own being) then the shit that happens is not ‘right action not working out’. Maybe because the right action one things is right is actually the wrong action. And I do speak for myself because once I figured out what right action was for me, the outcomes always seemed to (eventually) work out. Again, just my perspective and I respect yours, and….. really appreciate you taking the time to respond. Have a happy holiday.

@@Buzzy-bm6bv you too! Thanks for your response, reads like you've done the work! Congrats on that! In essence, what I am reading is we should challenge men (and anyone for that matter) when they say and think "I have done all the right things": Have you really? Does this really come from a deep sense of direction within yourself or are you just following some outside expectations and expect the universe to reward you?

@@peteradelhardt3742 I admire you for your insight and fortitude. What you said was exactly what I mean to be understood. If it’s not truly right action, then don’t blame right action for bad outcome. Yes, I am in the last chapter of my life and started doing my work around 30 years of age. Understood that if I wanted a successful marriage and relationship, I needed to figure out what I was feeling, what I needed, how to communicate those needs in a non threatening way and how to listen to those responses from others in a respectful fashion. Very challenging and I’d be hard put to accept if someone offered me 40 years taken off my life but be back where is was then, and having to do ALL that work again. Grateful to have done the work and appreciate how challenging it is for others to undertake that task. But worth all the pain and heartache to embrace ones shadow self and not have it, secretly, run ones life. It is so hard to find others who can hold a conversation in that arena, so kudos to you. If you’ve done the work, or are doing the work that will reflect right action brings right outcome, then tell your friends and spouse that they are quite fortunate to know you :-). Have a happy holiday season and hope others treat you as respectfully as your treat strangers on KZfaq.

Most of the time, this is because it was the woman who did the vast majority of sacrificing...

@@sarahalderman3126 Respectfully disagree. Women don't build. They move in and enjoy the fruits f the man's labor. Hardly a sacrifice.

@@rjkubr maybe in your life but that certainly is not the norm, not even close. In fact for those who marry in their twenties, the women on average bring far more to the relationship. You may be correct for those who marry later in life, however that is heavily influenced on whether or not that particular woman has children. Given the additional work that children require it is obvious as to why that is. After adjusting for the increased burdens of raising children, women produce more on average. Lastly a woman is also devoting her youth, her only fertile opportunity, which is obviously in high demand. Regardless women sacrifice far more initially and often continue to sacrifice more than a man does due to the inherent nature of childbirth and child rearing, despite the push in increase men's contributions to their children. You seem to have a limited understanding as to how life works...

@@sarahalderman3126 I have a very good understanding of how life really works. When a man is the stay-at-home parent, we mock his contribution. As Bill Burr said, "any job that you can do in a bathrobe is not the most difficult job in the world. If the man and woman are in their traditional roles. the woman's contribution is celebrated and the man's is played down. Your comment about a woman devoting her youth & fertile years implies that a woman's time is more valuable than a man's time. I respectfully disagree. You also don't mention what else a woman contributes later in life that makes it more valuable than a man's contributions. The problem is that housework done by a woman is always counted but a man helping around the house and doing the outside tasks like fixing the house &, car, mowing the grass, raking the eaves, scoopoing the snow..all after putting in a full day's work. These things are rarely counted. Men are thought of as the disposable sex. I wish all the best for you in life but I now understand why your call yourself "SillySara."