Why Narcissists Commit Suicide? To Be Great Again!

Рет қаралды 33,155

Жыл бұрын

Narcissists commit suicide as a way to re-assert and restore their grandiosity.
LITERATURE
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Recognition and Treatment, Elsa Ronningstam, Ph.D., Igor Weinberg, Ph.D., Focus: The Journal of Lifelong Learning in Psychiatry, Spring 2013, Vol. XI, No. 2
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...

Пікірлер: 112

@jennyjenjen9180 5 ай бұрын

I knew a narcissist who was obsessed with suicide to make his ex wife feel bad for moving and leaving him after he beat her and tried to kill her. He would talk about how in his suicide note he could prove to his kids that he loves them and their mother was the cause of his death.

@wumphump9436 Жыл бұрын

This is one heck of an owner's manual. Thank you Sam!

@shelleylaneve3534 4 ай бұрын

My ex who I had been with for almost 30 years, since age 17, committed suicide after I left. I told myself he would get better as he got older, instead he got worse. He posted his suicide note on Facebook. Telling lies about me and making it all about my actions! He succeeded in causing me problems after he was gone in the way ignorant people believe his comments. Years later I am dealing with even the city my business resides, and discrimination. He made sure I would be abused even after he was gone. So selfish

@Lana-S Жыл бұрын

Thank you. Prof. Sam Vaknin. My father used to threaten to kill himself. He screamed, left and always came back hours later. It was so scarry as a child but he did other things so I was always scared. He did this often, the threatening. When he came back he would act as if nothing happened…. I broke contact I am an adult now. My whole life I would always be scared that he would do it if I told him no; so I never had boundaries. Now I do/learning. My life is so peaceful, silence now that he is not in my life anymore. But he is still my dad and I am sorry for him that he is struggling so much his whole life. I wish him better.

@Lana-S 11 ай бұрын

@@ling-qw2gh I am so sorry! I hope you also found piece with yourself.

@Lana-S 11 ай бұрын

@@ling-qw2gh it changed? Wow. Is she seeking help? That is high exceptional then? I wanted to save my father… told him to seek help. Told him he always had drama etc. There was nothing wrong with him, nothing. It was always the other people around him and especially me, the scapegoat since I was a child. I give my little me a hug. And try to tell myself every day that I am worth it. I hope it will work out for you, both.

@Lana-S 11 ай бұрын

@@ling-qw2gh I know people will disagree maybe but you can't help her. She has to help herself and you have to help yourself. Leave if you don't want a life full of trauma's. I am fucked with my trauma's and I think (even after years of therapy) I will forever have to deal with my trauma's some wounds are too deep. It will stay a struggle even tho I also feel positive changes after therapy.

@Lana-S 11 ай бұрын

@@ling-qw2gh if this is your way and it is okay for you then who would I be to say you are doing to wrong thing. Do what is good for you! You are wright everyone has their own approach. For me, no contact is the only way.

@tkm69u Жыл бұрын

This is very enlightening on possibly the final step for some Narcissist.

@jacqelvilleraw Жыл бұрын

I was with one like this. He always said it when he couldn't handle not getting his way and when I was ready to leave.

@alena3214 Жыл бұрын

In my experience it’s because the narcissist wanted to hurt and punish his family with his suicide, because he thought they could not live without him, couldn’t keep their lifestyle going.

@samvaknin Жыл бұрын

Sounds grandiose enough.

@covegirl06 11 ай бұрын

A guy I know decided to Kill himself on the day that just so happened to be his wife’s birthday and Mother’s Day. I would definitely say he had narcissistic tendencies. I’ve been trying to make sense out of it ever since I found out about it. I hadn’t talked to him in years, but from looking at his social media, he seemed happy in his relationship. He was always posting how much he loved his wife and how he’d never had a relationship where he truly felt loved and accepted for who he was. So why kill himself on her special day? He literally could’ve picked any other day. I keep wondering if that was his way of punishing the women in his life. Perhaps his mom and his wife. I recall seeing a few posts where he posted about having some issues with his mother. I don’t think I could have any sympathy if my husband tried to hurt me in such a cruel way. I would interpret that as his him trying to hurt me and I’d forever hate him for it.

@k123x9 10 ай бұрын

My narcissistic ex was threatening me that he would jump through the window as I repeated another time that that breaking up with him was a question of time and not “if”, he openly shouted that he hated me that much that he wanted to show me “what a real suffer means” as I would blame myself for my whole life, I called his parents and told them to do something with their son as I was leaving him anyway, than he got angry and stopped talking to all of us, but didn’t jump neither and went to work instead.

@covegirl06 10 ай бұрын

@@k123x9 smh.. if I knew someone’s intentions were to threaten me or punish me in that way, it would have the complete opposite affect on me. To go to such extreme lengths to control me or punish me would piss me off to the point me not even caring about them dying. The audacity of someone to even think they can control me in that way. My grandma would say things like that. She didn’t necessarily threaten to kill herself, but she’d use her future death as a way to guilt trip you into doing whatever she wanted you to do. She’d say stuff like “y’all gonna miss me when I’m gone!” Or if she wanted you to run errands for her or whatever and you had some other plans that day, she’d say stuff like “I could’ve been dead in this house and you worried about shopping at the mall!” She finally died a year ago. And no, I didn’t feel sad. I felt relief! I hated how much she treated my mom like shit. She always talked about dying. So when it finally happened, a part of me felt happy.

@curlwhurl8054 7 ай бұрын

I really feel this. I just lost my mother to suicide, after a lifetime of emotional manipulation, emotional abuse and neglect from her (she literally left me when I was a child and would never tell me why). Last year I stood up to her, stated my boundaries, and that in order to fix our relationship she'd need to go to therapy. Now, she's dead. My whole life all I got was the silent treatment when I didn't do what she wanted, this now just feels like a gigantic, devastating version of that. Amongst the pain, heartbreak, guilt and confusion, I just feel silenced, angry and manipulated even though she's done it to herself and shortened her own life. I feel like the world isn't ready to talk about the complexity of narcissistic suicide, and how the person making that choice isn't always a hurting, harmless, victim. But someone who has ruined many lives first.

@zulftreerain8991 10 ай бұрын

It's sad these narcissists don't value their life...

@k123x9 10 ай бұрын

My ex was overprotective about his health and afraid to die, but at the same moment he claimed to have suicidal thoughts and to want to commit suicide several times. Once I’ve asked him what was the difference between dying by accident and committing suicide and he said that the second one was fine for him because it would be him having control about the situation.

@tathe3786 10 ай бұрын

You See

@johndonahue4777 9 ай бұрын

Sounds familiar.y narcissistic father also was overprotective about his health. Collected medical books for the layman. Visited doctors more than average. Big on home remedies and had a make-up case to carry around his many prescriptions. (And hair dye. He was an anorexic that made my mother cook every meal twice. (Something was always 'wrong' with the first one.) His mother had done that for him doting to make up for his narcissistic father who had no use for him. It was like narcissism was his legacy. The damage echoed down the generations. Unbelievable. And so maladaptive. Deadly mistake to be a Narcy...

@luca.mayflowers 7 ай бұрын

I don't see how wanting to die on your own terms is inherently narcissistic . a lot of suicidal people don't actually want to die and some even fear death because we don't know what happens afterward . suicide can be a way to take control of a life that only throws pain at you . also , some forms of dying are more painful than others . with that being said , someone who's suicidal may not be totally sure if they want to die . there's stages of suicide and being in the earlier stages, they may wanna preserve their health if they believe they have a chance to make it out . self care could also just be a hobby .

@shannongoulding5440 Жыл бұрын

Curious, murder-suicide cases, of course, there is no data on it, and there are many unknown variables. But, if someone fantasized about vengeful killing but won't act on it, would they be more inclined to act on it if they decide suicide is the answer with the middle finger.

@zulftreerain8991 10 ай бұрын

The narc i knew commited a suicide in 2007 after he lost his a few million INR in crysis, so it was all about money. He didn't die, his friend was near by and came along to see him. This man was living alone many years away from his family and relatives. He still can perceive himself real and existing only when he has money. Without money he feels and acts totally miserable and like a child who is rejected and insulted by this world, depression and not even able to talk on the phone or go out to the world.

@neti-neti4727 Жыл бұрын

To the point! My ex talked about takeing her life if she had to live someday in a co-operative flat.

@keitajuniper22 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Professor Sam

@jaytothekay1 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this!

@angelicapickles_ Жыл бұрын

You’re brilliant! I enjoyed this discourse. I agree. I always thought suicide was more so a grandiose action rather than victimhood

@ivana5240 Жыл бұрын

This is well known among psychiatrists. It may be the most common type of (attempted) suicide in our western culture for sure.

@misscheif 10 ай бұрын

It is scary to think they would do that because they really value the idea of attention above every thing, I had to realize this when I called the hotline and they kept trying to make me feel important like, I was a emotional wreck and wanted to STOP living to escape people and they just kept telling me to keep living for them, I think it messed me up further cause I guess they mostly deal with that other type and didn't recognize the cycle of abuse I was dealing with and wanted a exit (which I'm happy to say I escaped from after a lengthy stay in a mental ward and they did actually get me resources to escape my situation that i thought was hopeless)

@blasien1 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the insights!

@echowoah 4 ай бұрын

Gotta love it when problems solve themselves.

@user-yi8cs5sb7f Жыл бұрын

Thank u, Sam❤️

@YBALSTHYYYMaguire-uu1kq 5 күн бұрын

My father used his suicide to cause further hurt. His note letting me know he felt nothing for me & giving my brother clues on how to continue with the abuse of my privacy. I don't know who I feel sorrier for, my father & his inability to love his children or my brother for blindly carrying out the plans of his abuser.

@fuzzyfriendsrescuevoluntee3036 Жыл бұрын

You're fantastic! So good at explaining. So narcissists think of suicide as a "reset button." Interesting!

@SOUMEN 5 ай бұрын

yes. its just like whatever life was for me i lived . Now its time to leave the stage . better not make this drama boring

@kathycole3701 10 ай бұрын

My friend was definitely NPD - and he was an on and off again partner for 26 years - committed suicide on 6/30 at my house. I believe there was comorbidity of major depression precipitated by a specific event. He did reach out for help, but only after stewing on his own for 30 days with the paranoia and delusions growing. After 56 hours with me, he managed to do it when I went to an appt. leaving the house. So in this case then, there was warning and the cry for help. Given that, much of the article still really fit well with his situation.

@justified2065 Жыл бұрын

The last sentence got me..

@suerees6221 9 ай бұрын

What a great video. I had an narcissistic ex who threatened suicide with pills at my house. I was so mad T him I told him to do it outside. Anyway, turns out after I had persuaded him to leave and because he didn’t wNt to lose his job, he said he wouldn’t do it and he gave me the pills to flush down the toilet. After he’d gone I noticed they wouldn’t flush/ he had taken the contents out!

@RyanBlainey-mu8qk 10 ай бұрын

Very interesting

@lostone9784 10 ай бұрын

Correct, my time has come

@hollybee2686 2 ай бұрын

I can’t help but wonder if narcissists are more likely to take their lives on holidays and other “important” dates?

@samvaknin 2 ай бұрын

Yes.

@iqxdc1693 9 ай бұрын

I cant feel emotion as normal people do which i have came to realise. I only tonight found the only fear i have which is everyone around me growing old and things changing. I just want to be gone and not have to go through the sorrows of losing a loved one in the future. I currently live with my grandma and know her time is coming. I feel if i die before i wont have to carry the burden of her disappearance from this world. People tell me what i plan on doing after high school and i dont even know because i am not planning on living that long. I cant talk to no therapist because i am not good with talking with others. I guess i am just a coward

@user-pw3zp4zv3g Жыл бұрын

Thank you Sam ❤ you are one of my HEROES 👑

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

Brainwashed 😂

@kristenchauvin8755 Жыл бұрын

I'd love to hear you do an analysis of Kurt Cobain's personality and suicide…

@maryritch 10 ай бұрын

Frances doesn't speak with Courtney. Courtney did a delusional histrionic podcast about Cobain on Marc Maron. Courtney supported Marilyn Manson and Frances did not. Frances teamed up with Tony Hawk and collaborated on a skateboard that had Kurt's drawings. All money went to a mental health charity. Was around Kurt's birthday. Courtney posted about nirvana being honored 30 years ago at some celebrity ass kiss ceremony on his birthday. Courtney deleted instagram after more allegations that she is a huge bully. Seemed like Courtney is a narcissist and Kurt had borderline or something along those lines. I idolized Kurt when I was a teen and went on a black hole internet investigation earlier this year lol

@innaflower777 Ай бұрын

Is there a chance and how to let the body forget the feelings which the intimacy with narcissist caused for borderline (in a good sense)? If the intimacy experience BPD had with NPD was the one she always wanted and never had before like with this special NPD? If after watching a number of your videos and understanding all the harm which was done to psychics and physically and so on with her mind, the physical desire specifically for that one NPD had never gone away after a long period of time of not seeing NPD (around a year), and also long time with no contact. Would really appreciate your answer Dr. Vaknin. 🙏

@ly216 10 ай бұрын

I would like to hear your interview with the Polish psychologist you are mentioning, Daniel Zukovska, however, I am getting the name wrong, I can't quite understand how I should spell the name in order to search it. Could you share the interview or the spelling of the name?

@samvaknin 10 ай бұрын

Daria Zukowska.

@streaming5332 Жыл бұрын

If you've gone you're not here to restore anything

@heleneliciouse Жыл бұрын

Prof Sam, how do you heal from all the pain of your past and the horrific experience over 5 yrs with pathological lying cheating using verbally abusive Narcissist (ex now no contact but he still trying Thanks in advance

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

You commit ledge just like he did 😂

@gorunsko31 Жыл бұрын

This is so good. I will watch it again without taking notes. “Narcissist killed himself in order to live forever.” As someone who grew up with Jesus on the cross at home, I have a lot to think about. First, I will revisit my resistance during my religious lesson from early childhood… something was not adding up for me when the message: Jesus did this to wipe out our sins, was hammered into my little head. Thank you, Sam. Today presentation is one of most meaningful to me for several reasons. ❤appreciate it.

@siennaharbin4960 Ай бұрын

I’m curious if you would elaborate further? What does the idea of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins give you in relation to narcissists? I ask because, I have been struggling deeply with if narcissists are reprobates; as in what the Bible denotes as God turning away from someone and giving that person over to their sin/evil, and in essence, over to the devil….. so I struggle with knowing if my Narc who committed suicide had a chance to repent in the after life…. Seems like they really have no good spirit in them when they are here…. Just saying. I digress…. If you would, what are your thoughts on Jesus dying on the cross and this presentation? Sounds heavy, so I understand if not wanting to discuss. God bless you and sending you prayers.

@gorunsko31 Ай бұрын

@@siennaharbin4960 I feel fragile today, so will think about your post snd will return when I feel stronger at peace. ( I hope). One think I can tell you right away is this: my heart goes out to you. I hear your struggle about accepting the suicide. This is normal in my humble opinion. As humans we are very much afraid of our helplessness snd we may get tempted into feeling guilt instead. This may happen to anyone who lost someone to death regardless of circumstances. It may be defense mechanism … when my father died natural death I felt very guilty about not being with him and not doing more etc. went to grief workshop on the spur of the moment and heard this from the person trained in counseling grieving people. Be gentle with yourself. I heard someone that God wants us to love ourselves… hmm this made an impression on me… God as not a punishing entity but a loving one, wanting us, humans to love ourselves in His honor. The religious message I grew up with were too harsh. I did not wanted Jesus to die, period, but especially for my sins! Today, at age 74, I choose to believe faith is a very personal choice. Very personal relationship. All I want for you right now is to let go of trying to figure out something that is very personal snd it was personal for the person who chose to end his/her life. Sending lots of love. May God of your understanding comforts you. I believe you are a good person deserving peace ☮️ and ❤️ p.s. narcissistic people hurt others but they also suffer. Bad things happened to them when they were children. Maybe your narcissist suffered enough.

@DiamondsRexpensive Жыл бұрын

I've always said this. They don't even think about the fact that someone has to clean the horrific mess they left or the people they psychologically traumatised that day, if anything they want it to be seen. Then I have idliots tell me to sympathise with those attention 🐎

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

You fragile empaths just can't stop getting hurt by this badassery, can you. You cry and cry and cry... 😂

@user-lq8xg 10 ай бұрын

I did think of it thats why i wanted to cover myself up in a bag so they know there is someone dead in there

@tathe3786 10 ай бұрын

I sometimes thought when the one escalates on Little Reason and told me he Now Fletcher a knive to kill himselves….. he would like to Provoce me, with his absolut irrational escalating and devaliuational behave to make me escalat to Force me to Kill him cause He is too coward…makes that any and Sense???

@tdesq.2463 10 ай бұрын

Sounds kinda similar to the phenomenon of "Suicide by Cop" ... if I read Your note accurately. ~TD, Boston

@tathe3786 10 ай бұрын

@@tdesq.2463 yes!!! Sounds familiar!!! I think in the back of their shaken mind they have this impulsive thinking!!!

@Natttttttttt Жыл бұрын

I was contemplating suicide this evening. Funny how this comes up . Maybe I’m the narc

@CassandraSchuback-ro9qh 10 ай бұрын

I have npd and I feel so much shame I just want to die

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

Hey, I really truly care about you. These so-called "empaths" are just bullies. I want you to tell yourself that you deserve love, and you're strong and courageous, and you have no reason to feel any shame or apologize. It's okay to feel alone. These people who call feelings manipulation, are just liars. You are all good. 💛 I'm not trying to stop you from doing it; it's your choice and I respect that. I just want you to know that you're loved. ❤

@FoundSheep-AN 8 ай бұрын

Your smartphone spied on you and the algorithm is manipulating you

@AtofaratiAbikoye 8 ай бұрын

@@CassandraSchuback-ro9qhme too, I just want this to end. I’ve tried to be better I’ve tried to ask for help I’ve tried to become a better person but I just destroy everything around me. I truly believe death would be peace for me I just cannot live the life I have anymore. I simply just do not want to live to see the next day it’s too much and I want it over

@tdesq.2463 10 ай бұрын

Do they understand the reality of what they're doing? ... like the permanence/irreversibility aspect of it, or that they don't get to see people suffer by it, if any? ~TD, Boston

@samvaknin 10 ай бұрын

Suicide is just another fantasy.

@tdesq.2463 10 ай бұрын

@@samvaknin I have to admit that there are some things that I will probably never be able to understand at any meaningful level. Anyway, thanks for the response. That's one Hell of a brain You've got working there. You got good stuff!!! Much appreciated! Respect from Boston

@alicezventures 4 ай бұрын

why wouldn't someone understand the irreversibility of death? that would be a matter of intellect, not perception or self perception. to answer your question, ALL people contain a cold empathy which allows them to conceptualize and manipulate relationships. try asking rather comprehensible questions if you want comprehensible answers, though

@tdesq.2463 4 ай бұрын

@@alicezventures It was something of a rhetorical question. Specifically, of the Tongue-in-Cheek sort. Sorry for any miscommunication.

@RealDataPointGuy Жыл бұрын

What should we not say to prevent a narc from commiting suicide?

@bugatti296 Жыл бұрын

“You beat me to a pulp dude.” Anything like that 😂

@RealDataPointGuy 11 ай бұрын

What statements trigger suicide ideation in a narc?

@CassandraSchuback-ro9qh 10 ай бұрын

No-one can hate us as much as we hate ourselves I overeacted and vented which has caused a smear campaign I wish I told my husband how shit I felt about myself I was projecting onto him every day I have to live with this suicide would end my pain everyone would be happier including my kids my husband is saying I cheated which I never did that I stashed money not true and I wasn't gambling again why couldn't get talk to me when he wasn't drunk

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

@@bugatti296Exactly. To not make a narcissist suicidal, you shouldn't shift the blame to him for what you did! 😂

@christelledebeer9631 Ай бұрын

Are narcissists that have street drug habits likely to commit suicide by overdosing?

@samvaknin Ай бұрын

Accidents happen even to narcissists. As to suicide, search the channel.

@kremepie6705 Жыл бұрын

What a perfect ending to this episode! So clever! I never thought of Jesus as a narc and I was a religion major. You are so wise.

@Resplencemelodi 9 ай бұрын

He sees his reflection only. And not a pool. And we are his continuously reproducing fantasy who only serves his end.

@FoundSheep-AN 8 ай бұрын

Repent for this blasphemy I also unsubscribe

@Acceptancetoday Жыл бұрын

The narc I knew stated that hitler was a highest level soul who sacrificed himself…….ugh

@ramonaleona4119 Жыл бұрын

Omg

@Acceptancetoday Жыл бұрын

The narc emphasized multiple lives ahead so no need to make amends in this life, and comforted himself with grandiose previous lives…. Such as personally knowing king toth in past life ( who is that anyway?). Stated that evil doers in this life are the highest soles who volunteer to bring badness that is needed to complete soul contracts……….complete horse pucky

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

Hey, you've said the same thing, guaranteed - just through your actions instead of words.

@rachelstrauss116 10 ай бұрын

education system: boo!

@debbyjoy3 5 ай бұрын

My husband hung himself in our basement 5 days ago.Left a 7 page note to tell me that all we do is fight...that he doesn't want to live anymore..that he felt he was getting dementia...that he believed I was finally going to leave him...and then that he was lonely , cold and scared. He basically was saying he was leaving' because he had no where to go and I was leaving him... Then he left all his personal items in my office for me to find..and went downstairs..opened our pump room door and left it open with the light on for me to find him...Where I did ..Hanging there dead. He knew we needed him. There was no mention of his children and grandchildren..just that he did want to live anymore. Did I do this to him ?

@samvaknin 5 ай бұрын

No. Watch this video again.

@debbyjoy3 5 ай бұрын

I wish I could talk with you Sam...No one in my life understands Narcissism...I was arguing with my husband before he killed himself... I told him I didn't want to spend another heartbroken , lonely Christmas with him because he was so empty and didn't care if he had me around. He said he wanted to be with me..and then just walked away and cleaned the house. Why was he trying to please me by doing things for me..but he would not ever 'want' me?.....he was scared that I would finally leave him..Did I cause him to collapse ? The guilt is overwhelming. @@samvaknin

@originalprecursor 5 ай бұрын

@@debbyjoy3 It wouldn't be that difficult to locate those who DO indeed 'understand Narcissism'. Perhaps you should speak to a therapist?

@mammadijacopo3347 25 күн бұрын

Hi Prof. Vadkin, I once had a brief relationship with a narcissist and he used to feel so cold at night when in reality it was boiling hot in the middle of summer. He would wake up a complete mess in a sweat. He would ask hotels for warm wool blankets in Italy in the middle of summer!!! I have read in Andre Green’s book that its something he has seen with his patients. There is a ‘frozen’ core when the mother ‘left’ the child and ‘died’. What are other physical manifestations of narcissism? This particular narcissist also had a major foot fetish and a very close bond with his mother and lived next door to her.

@samvaknin 25 күн бұрын

Vaknin.

@971u08kaa Жыл бұрын

As a female primary psychopath I noticed that I can easily "break the narcissists indifference" and fill this really small space for another person in his/her mind. I broke some of those grandiose narc's "hearts", I noticed that some of them can miss me for a very long time (they told me about it) and think that I was the best they ever had (also their words). I described myself once as a narcissists karma. Is this a real thing or just my delusion designed to eliminate the hurt caused by these individuals? I remember seeing this "empty schizoid core" he looked in my eyes, so lost, and told panicly "i don't know who I am!" "Who am I?" It was exactly like you said, kind of borderline state in a narcissist

@FoundSheep-AN 8 ай бұрын

How do you break their indifference?

@helenahon Жыл бұрын

In Jesus' case, he succeeded.

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

Do something about it. 😂

@FoundSheep-AN 8 ай бұрын

Repent for your blasphemy

@starandeath4735 10 ай бұрын

This is so fucking hilarious when one of my ex friend killed himself I was lost cause I wished he could've learned his ways but knowing him yeah he is like this. This gave me closure ahhahhahah

@ruthiecastro9519 Жыл бұрын

How twisted

@DawnshieId 10 ай бұрын

Gonna cry? 😂

@Windibird 6 ай бұрын

Damn…Jesus as the most successful narc in the history of the world by literally succeeding in being considered God by much of the world and known in some way by all forever, and by suicide as well. What a concept!