Why People Send Terrible Emails (research explains...)

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Why People Send Terrible Emails (research explains...)

Рет қаралды 57,585

Күн бұрын

For 50% off your first month of any subscription crate from KiwiCo (available in 40 countries!) head to kiwico.com/bra...
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How many exclamation points is too many?! Should you include emojis in emails 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why do people send such terrible emails, or is there more to it? Here Vanessa breaks down the psychology of online communication - emails, text messages and more - to unpack how knowledge bias, negativity bias and generation punctuation lead to miscommunication. Armed with new knowledge about tone and perception, you can reemerge into the world to communicate more clearly... we hope...
In addition to creating videos on BrainCraft, Vanessa is researching behaviour change and sleep. Vanessa is available for hosting projects and to travel to give public talks, please reach out via email: hello(at)braincraft.tv
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Darude - Sandstorm: • Can you hear Darude - ...
All Star: • All Star but it's an O...
REFERENCES 📚
Gunraj, D. N., Drumm-Hewitt, A. M., Dashow, E. M., Upadhyay, S. S. N., & Klin, C. M. (2016). Texting insincerely: The role of the period in text messaging. Computers in Human Behavior, 55, 1067-1075. www.sciencedir...
The Period Is Pissed: newrepublic.co...
Newton, L. (1990). Overconfidence in the communication of intent: Heard and unheard melodies. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Stanford University, Stanford, CA.
Riordan, M. A., Kreuz, R. J., & Blair, A. N. (2018). The digital divide: Conveying subtlety in online communication. Journal of Computers in Education, 5, 49-66. doi: 10.1007/s40692-018-0100-6
Riordan, M. A. & Trichtinger, L. A. (2017). Overconfidence at the keyboard: Confidence and accuracy in interpreting affect in email exchanges. Human Communication Research, 43, 1-24. doi: 10.1111/hcre.12093
Kruger, J., Epley, N., Parker, J., & Ng, Z. (2005). Egocentrism over e-mail: Can people communicate as well as they think? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89, 925-936.
Byron, K. (2008). Carrying too heavy a load? The communication and miscommunication of emotion by email. The Academy of Management Review, 33(2), 309-327.
dx.doi.org/10.2...

Пікірлер: 451

@braincraft 2 жыл бұрын

I sincerely appreciate you watching this video... I also give you permission to send it to your boss. TY 🧠💁🏻‍♀️

@joesjoeys 2 жыл бұрын

That was a rocking version of jingle bells :)

@SS_S. 2 жыл бұрын

Haha, how about a spouse? (I spent an unreasonable length of time debating the inclusion of a comma and question mark just now). Fascinating video thank you

@calculagator 2 жыл бұрын

Loved the video. It was great. Thanks for making me feel old.

@mich8050 2 жыл бұрын

When I get a boss I will

@braincraft 2 жыл бұрын

In some ways it’s better not having one 🙃

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

1:18 very clearly Jingle Bells. I was suspecting by tap 4 and absolutely sure by tap 11. The taps after made it ever clearer

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

2:31 completely blanking on those other two songs tho

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

Ok having been given the answer for both, I can hear the first, but not the second. Like, at all, lol EDIT: Ah now I can. I was thinking of a different part of the song is the issue.

@Taekwonjoe 2 жыл бұрын

I was delighted that I recognised both Jingle Bells and Sandstorm.

@ryantsui2802 2 жыл бұрын

@@Kram1032 I got the answers to the two and I've never heard of them (heard of the title, never actually listened to the song). I wonder if the quoted experiment with the songs had a baseline of how many songs the subjects were actually aware of?

@dutchik5107 2 жыл бұрын

@@Kram1032 I only recognised is because I know it was a youtube trend a while ago

@loganuyeda7916 2 жыл бұрын

Honestly, this is why I've come to really appreciate emoji despite initially disliking them. It's hard to convey tone in written conversation and they do a great job of filling in for that. Now if only we had a similar form of punctuation that would work in formal writing...

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

I'm really curious how long it'll take for emoji to actually become acceptable in formal writing. There is a slim chance I may actually live to see the day and imo that'd be a great thing

@TheZenytram 2 жыл бұрын

Every emoji feels sarcastic, i dont think it's a good idea to use it if you're trying to convey a clear and important idea.

@TheZenytram 2 жыл бұрын

@@Kram1032 never. cus they are too abstract and means different things for different ppl. And there isn't a standard for the drawings, its varies too much depending on the application you're using.

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

@@TheZenytram Emoji haven't been in the mainstream for very long yet. They only relatively recently exploded in popularity and versatility. Let's wait and see where things go in another like 50 years. At the current pace of change in how we communicate, that amount of time almost feels like it is forever.

@ornessarhithfaeron3576 2 жыл бұрын

Prolly not within my lifetime

@crispyrolls93 2 жыл бұрын

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.” ― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

@MarceldeJong 2 жыл бұрын

Also from his book Maskerade

@MundaneGray 2 жыл бұрын

"The exclamation point may be used only in dialogue, and then only if the person speaking has recently been disemboweled." -- D. Keith Mano

@M4TCH3SM4L0N3 2 жыл бұрын

@@MundaneGray - can confirm. Was disemboweled nearly 2 hours ago, and have already excised exclamation marks from my dialogue.

@Anzallos 2 жыл бұрын

The book "Because Internet" by Gretchen McCulloch touched on the generational difference! The ellipsis in particular seemed to be a relic from physical letters/postcards when a line break wasted the limited space, so the ellipsis was used in a similar way to how separate messages are used now. There is a whole discussion on generational electronic communications differences from a linguistics standpoint, which is incredibly fascinating!

@MundaneGray 2 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure I buy that explanation. I have encountered countless people online who don't use line breaks at all, because they don't use paragraphs. Whatever they write is a single, unbroken slab of text, regardless of how long it is. That would conserve space on a postcard even better than using ellipses.

@OriginalPineapplesFoster 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the reminder that i still need to read this book. In return, she's also got an excellent podcast about language, if you haven't already found it. ✌️🍍

@lukefuller284 2 жыл бұрын

That line break thing is a great explanation for what I've always thought of as disgusting abuse of ellipses. Whether or not it's the actual reason for many of the cases I've seen, I will now keep it in mind to give the benefit of the doubt!

@KimonFrousios 2 жыл бұрын

This is why it takes me 2hrs to write a short email. I have to vet it for perceived tone, knowledge bias, tangents, and ambiguous use of punctuation. And of course vet out any genuine negative feelings...

@iprobablyforgotsomething 2 жыл бұрын

And that 2hrs doesn't include the time you spent being distracted by people who had "just a quick question" or your coworkers' loud barking laughs and carrying voices as they gossiped, or the technical difficulties of your workplace's way-outta-date technology freezing on you again. Admin and/or customer service work is such a joy, isn't it?

@lordinquisitor6651 2 жыл бұрын

I dealt with this problem for a time by setting a signature that reads “ I’m a very bubbly and happy person. Sadly I can’t really stuff my friendliness into this email, due to time constraints, so please ignore anything that might be perceived as rude. (In the rare event I’m intentionally rude it’s very blunt and obvious).“

@iprobablyforgotsomething 2 жыл бұрын

@@lordinquisitor6651 Huh. *pondering pause* Well, I will try and remember that tip, thank you.

@EIixir 2 жыл бұрын

I would read that email as neutral with a negative slant. The reason being that "a good start" would have given it a positive spin. Whilst "a start" means it needs more work and is missing something important.

@Gillsing 2 жыл бұрын

It wasn't a "good start" though, just a "start". I interpreted it as positive because people generally like meeting other people, which the last part was about. Or negative, if it was a creepy stalker and the email had no context (which it didn't for me). Had I known that it was about some work I had sent in earlier, I would have considered it neutral, because I don't like working. But apparently I would still be doing it, so I guess it's okay?

@ImmortalAbsol 2 жыл бұрын

The full stop generally effects how friendly or formal a message feels when read in your head, not how sincere. A friend might leave an emoji or a face made of characters 🙂 :) and a family member might leave a 'kiss' 'x' and a romantic partner may leave multiple 'xxx'. But if you are used to this and suddenly one of the people in the above example completely replace them with a full stop *.* , you know something is probably up. In a formal e-mail don't focus on the full stop because that's just being professional, instead focus on the language when they open and close the e-mail. 😉

@joebaumgart1146 2 жыл бұрын

See I text and write emails entirely differently.

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

"as per my previous mail"

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

@@joebaumgart1146 Yeah different contexts call for different language conventions. And long form communication, imo, is more reliant on adding extra words to hone in on the precisely meant tone. For short form, punctuation is king!!!

@pedroff_1 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, it's like someone you're close to suddenly calling you by your full name

@IceSpoon 2 жыл бұрын

I love it that in informal messaging with friends, "oh" and "oh." have completely different connotations. Thank you, full stop.

@DeadGirlsPoem 2 жыл бұрын

This is why i read emails or comments like this one again once or twice normally. What sounds nice and welcoming in my head may sound neutral or even sarcastic without the accentuation i have in mind. Most of the time i sadly just don't have the right words to make it sound nicer without making it sound awkward at the same time...

@MrGrokNRoll 2 жыл бұрын

The main thing I'm wondering right now: How much of the punctuation interpretation changes from culture to culture? As a German (49), I would never occur to me to see a full-stop as negative, for example. But do notice that my writing style changes quite a bit when I switch between languages.

@floxbr9350 2 жыл бұрын

While we were on subtelties, "Yes we could do that", "Yes we could do that." and "Yes, we could do that." seem equivalent to me (with a slight preference for the last version when typing it myself). However, "Yes. we could do that." does have a less positive read to it, maybe because the period creates a gap between the two parts where I would expect to be none.

@eelexa 2 жыл бұрын

I love this! I am very, very careful with crafting my emails, and it's so frustrating when they're misunderstood despite my efforts! It's also really useful to know that those emails that seem to carry a "short" tone may not actually be so.

@maythesciencebewithyou Жыл бұрын

Your exclamation marks are so aggro. just kidding. but some people I wrote with really thought exclamation marks come off as being aggressive. It's like some people never properly learned in school what purpose punctuation has.

@birichinaxox9937 2 жыл бұрын

This is the one of the biggest pains about being ASD. Some of us instinctively know we will be miss understood. So we make sure to explain more and ask clarifying questions. Too many ppl get annoyed at our extra effort instead of appreating it and reciprocating it. There is a huge inconsistent pressure for us to ensure we represent ourselves a curtain way. But there is a huge lack in equal accountability for the nt ppl we are forced to interact with.

@stephaniesmith3544 2 жыл бұрын

Also autistic. I feel this. I make sure to use emojis because I’ve been told the tone of my texts can seem cold (tbh I’ve been told this about my voice as well). So I now use smiley faces and whatnot, only to be told that the specific smiley emoji 🙂 is the “passive aggressive smiley face”. At this point if people read things wrong, they can ask themselves. I’ve given up

@jameswhatsit 2 жыл бұрын

Don’t worry about it too much honestly, 🙂 is a friendly icon, anyone who calls it passive aggressive is being overly sensitive. Context can make a difference, ie. if you are asking someone to do you a favour or inconvenience themselves, it’s best not to use smileys or thank them as the positive emotion in the asking message makes them feel like you’ve assumed that they’ll accept which they resent. If it is a big ask, it’s sometimes worth adding a ‘sorry’ or ‘please’ to the message. Smileys are definitely worth adding to messages where you thank people, or for other things like “small talk”. But again, don’t worry too much about that stuff as some people are just a***holes (some people also have a sexist bias where they expect females to act more submissive than males which is a terrible societal problem). If you are trying, nt people that aren’t a***holes should appreciate it; you can’t do any more than that. :) :) (

@hansvonlobster1218 2 жыл бұрын

What really triggers me in mails is double-spacing after periods and people misusing accents as apostrophes.

@praetentious2925 2 жыл бұрын

Lol same!

@conradomota1000 2 жыл бұрын

The email comes across as negative.

@braincraft 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you 😅

@MarceldeJong 2 жыл бұрын

It set off anxiety for me. If I were to get an email like that from a superior, I’d immediately worry about my job

@Pannekoek. 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Vanessa, Now I have Jingel Bells stuck in my head... 😋

@braincraft 2 жыл бұрын

Anytime 🤶🏻

@blakethompson-dodd9874 2 жыл бұрын

Thoughtful: Perhaps we should preface our communications with emotional context the way Elcor do in the Mass Effect games.

@Thessalin 2 жыл бұрын

This one disagrees. This one believes the Elcor are too stodgy to understand how awesome this one is.

@TDLightt 2 жыл бұрын

I found this really interesting, and I instantly thought how much I also liked the video on phycology of different fonts, so maybe I just have a thing for language. Love the vids Vanessa :) Also, I had a squiz at the comments before watching and saw Jingle bells mentioned, and I heard it in the tapping straight away. But then with the writing and paper crane songs I had no idea. But the instant the titles were revealed I could hear it. Love it. It's crazy how impossible it is to tell before hand contrasted with how easy it is after being primed.

@Zebra_M 2 жыл бұрын

Neutral email? I would not hesitate to lead my reply with "You're being vague. A good, bad or a neutral start?" because it is poorly written for sure. People need to learn to write what they intend to convey and not leave sentences hanging unfinished on an ellipsis, because they leave people guessing to fill in something that isn't there. (Usually that guess is more negative than intended, for me personally!) Nice video... :D

@Niki1A_ 2 жыл бұрын

This might be because I am German, but for me the full stop is an indicator of formality, not negativity. It is just gramatically correct to put a full stop at the end of a full sentence. For me, the example with the full stops looked weird because "Yes" is not a full sentence, so it should have had a comma after it. The example without the full stops just looked informal or as if it was written in a hurry, similar to messages without capitalisation.

@praetentious2925 2 жыл бұрын

I agree except I think yes could be a full sentence.

@matj12 2 жыл бұрын

In the example “Yes we could do that”, I was trying to figure out how “Yes” would fit syntactically into the rest of the sentence, so reading it was frustrating.

@Niki1A_ 2 жыл бұрын

@@praetentious2925 This might also be because I am German, but I was taught a full sentence needs at least a subject and a verb. A simple 'Yes' would be a half sentence or an incomplete sentence. (That doesn't mean it's wrong, it's just a way to classify sentences.)

@praetentious2925 2 жыл бұрын

@@Niki1A_ I agree but I think this is the exception because in this case there is no need for a subject and/or verb, because this is a simple response to an inquiry. But I’m not 100 percent certain. How does it work in German? Also, if I wanted to learn German, would you say there’s a lot in common with German and English?

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

0:22 Email reads ambiguous to me. Depends entirely on what came before this. It reads like you had a discussion where you came to a partial agreement. Could be a great thing, or could involve a lot of unhappy compromising. - Oddly it does NOT feel neutral. I'm gonna say either positive or negative but decidedly not neutral. That said, it's not *extremely* positive/negative either.

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

With the added context that what you sent before this you thought of as very very positive, getting that reply definitely has a very understated feel, swinging this mail firmly into the negatives

@Thermalions 2 жыл бұрын

Agreed, context is important. Was it in response to a project outline, a first draft, a final version? The interpretation may also differ depending upon prior communications between the parties. If that has been limited then the interpretation may be more influenced by unrelated experiences with others, which the author likely wouldn't be able to judge. The question of whether the email is positive, neutral or negative as a way to judge the language in the email as positive, neutral or negative is flawed however. When you ask that question you are really asking about the respondents personal experiences receiving similar communications. The most the question can do is highlight that without context (and possibly even with context) different people will likely interpret it differently.

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

@@Thermalions fully agreed. Turns out communication is a very complex two-way street!

@SpaceEngineerErich 2 жыл бұрын

I never even considered how punctuation can be interpreted differently by different generations. Fascinating.

@SimplyMayaBeauty 2 жыл бұрын

This is also interesting to me as an Israeli who regularly works with people from the US and Europe. Getting used to corporate niceties felt like stepping into a movie or something - the emailing style in these countries is subtly different. Americans in my experience tend to balance politeness and formality with a dose of casual friendliness, which sometimes feels very "plastic-y" to me. Europeans tend to be more straightforwardly formal. Israelis are often too casual and can come across as brash. I regularly adjust my emailing style based on who I'm talking to, and that's been vital to my success at work.

@mediumjohnsilver 2 жыл бұрын

I like the recipient of my emails to feel relaxed, as if they are reading a comic book. Comic books, are, of course, lettered in all caps, with exclamation points. And to show that I respect the maturity level of my reader, I pepper in plenty of swear words. So, all caps, exclamation points, and plenty of curse words. What could be more positive?😁

@praetentious2925 2 жыл бұрын

I’m sure I’d find your emails entertaining.

@reidflemingworldstoughestm1394 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@Zappyguy111 2 жыл бұрын

"Oh boy, here we go" is the mental state I fall into when reading that email... So negative for me.

@scifimom42 2 жыл бұрын

Generational bias got me a few weeks ago. A colleague, only 2 years older than me, sent me an email with several sections in all caps. She said it was emphasis not yelling even though the tone was negative.

@OriginalPineapplesFoster 2 жыл бұрын

I have pretty severe ADHD and communication is especially difficult in most situations, but e-mail is singularly frustrating. It's pretty standard that I'll spend far too much time and text ensuring I've included all necessary context and information with proper grammar, punctuation, and paragraph breaks.... and then be frustrated when the reader either misunderstands the whole thing or simply reads the first bit before responding, in both cases usually because of the quantity of text. It's useful to have someone proofread and pick out the important bits before hitting send. Thanks Vanessa!! !!! ☄️🍍

@Win7Fan 2 жыл бұрын

This is why my workmates and I always let us proofread each other's drafts before sending it to clients/boss. It may not apply to every email being sent, but it helps. 😊

@ElliotDooleysmith 2 жыл бұрын

I always used to finish texts with a . but about a year ago I found out about this, so I stopped. However, an email I will always punctuate correctly. One thing I can't stand though is exclamation points! Unless used for things that really need to be exclaimed. I feel anyone using more than 1 should be tased immediately. I don't know if my distain for them came about because my boss uses them for almost every sentence, it drives me up the wall.

@TesserId 2 жыл бұрын

In professional environment, communicating with someone who was bad at email, I posed four specific questions and was very careful not to pose them as yes/no questions, so that verbose responses were required, in a bulleted list, so that there should be no mistaking that they were four separate questions... each requiring a different verbose response. The response I got back? One three-letter word. Not four responses. No detail. Just one three-letter word: "yes". ~~~ I definitely felt like I was banging my head against the wall.

@praetentious2925 2 жыл бұрын

Yep, I get this all the time. Or asking a question elicits an angry response, as if asking a question is negative inherently.

@Gillsing 2 жыл бұрын

Q: How verbose do you want people to be? A: Yes.

@TesserId 2 жыл бұрын

@@Gillsing I'm having a meta LOL.

@Apledore 2 жыл бұрын

As a 39 year old that frequently uses full stops and ellipses with no negative intent, I can honestly say it never occurred to me that they could be perceived that way. I mean, they are just standard grammar. BUT, I have noticed tendency of those younger than me, including my own kids, to assume negative intent in a number of scenarios. I bought a toothbrush cup labeled "Brush Your Teeth" in a cheery print a few years ago and was baffled to constantly find it turned around so the message didn't show. Then I found out that my son thought I bought the cup as a means to taunt/criticize people who forgot to brush. Now, he unfortunately tends to look at a lot of things negatively, but similar stuff has happened with other younger people, too.

@rubylily 2 жыл бұрын

my favorite example of misinterpreted texts is the Key & Peele skit :D

@JMoloneyProjects 2 жыл бұрын

"How does this make you feel?" "Hmmm, like people don't understand grammar usage?"

@RichardBarclay 2 жыл бұрын

Language is descriptive not prescriptive. It evolves over time as people use it differently, and that applies to grammar as well as words.

@shirosenshiesq 2 жыл бұрын

This is one of the most important things to unlearn when taking on a training or coaching role. I went through full employment training for my job for a second time recently, and noticed the key difference between good trainers and bad trainers was pre-assumption of knowledge - one trainer was good, and assumed people knew nothing, but kept testing the waters to see how much people understood to form the baseline to go from. The poor trainers did not do this, and left people more confused. Same goes for support once we started back into the role - good coaches and support would find out where people got stuck and determine where their knowledge lead up to, poor ones would assume the person they were helping should know what they know.

@simonmacomber7466 2 жыл бұрын

I'm old enough to have lived before the internet was invented. Back when I was in school, we had, as part of our English classes, lessons on how to compose a letter. Not only how to write the content of the letter with proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation, but also how to format the letter appropriately. I still write emails the same way. Obviously I don't need to include addresses, or dates, since those are already a part of an email, but writing complete sentences and paragraphs with proper grammar, spelling and punctuation, is either not taught, actively discouraged, or completely lost today. I can't help but notice that loss, not only in emails, but also in places like KZfaq comments. I've been told, that if you write a comment longer than a sentence fragment, no one will bother to read it. Are people really that illiterate?

@y.vinitsky6452 2 жыл бұрын

Yes mostly. If you want to reach a large audience, especially if you need to compete for their attention, use short, clear, dumb proof messages. Did you read until the end? If so good for you :)

@scottabc72 2 жыл бұрын

Not a question of literacy, its a question of how people are going to choose to use their time in an environment with tons of info and stimulation coming at them

@simonmacomber7466 2 жыл бұрын

@@scottabc72 They still take all that time to reply to comments that they obviously haven't bothered to read. Why would someone, who doesn't have time to read a paragraph, read the first couple of words in the first sentence, then spend a few hours typing out a response made up of misspelled words, sentence fragments, and a complete lack of capitalization and punctuation? Your response is obviously an exception to that.

@uptown3636 2 жыл бұрын

I think I love BrainCraft. Not in a creepy, online stalker way. Just in a "Holy hell, my world is more interesting with this channel" sort of way.

@StudentInFrance 2 жыл бұрын

I love it in a creepy, online stalker way.

@RichardBarclay 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely sounds negative, sounds like "I have too many criticisms to write down"

@y.vinitsky6452 2 жыл бұрын

This has little to do with Email per say, and more with the effects of writing frequency. That's one reason why punctuation is nearly non existent in KZfaq comments and texting, even when it improves readability.

@SerenityFeueropal 2 жыл бұрын

That email is negative as all get out. It's right up there with "we need to talk."

@AgileGeoff 2 жыл бұрын

An exclamation mark when I'm encouraged. Three when I'm excited. Never 2. It feels wrong!!

@92Pyromaniac 2 жыл бұрын

My worst experience with the elipsis was with the research associate who helped me in the lab while I was doing my dissertation project. He'd end almost every sentence that way and even though I came to understand that he didn't mean anything by it, it was still kinda uncomfortable because I couldn't shake the passive-aggressive interpretation. "Hey, can you come into the lab on Tuesday afternoon?" "ok..." "Can you bring the cable for the data logger?" "sure..." "Great! I'll be in from about 1pm" "ok..." It really got to me after a while XD

@Holobrine 2 жыл бұрын

My hypothesis is negativity has a formality bias, because being negative informally is rude and simply off the table while positive informality is just a little unprofessional but no one really cares. So we associate formality with negativity, and email is formal as digital communication goes, hence the negativity bias.

@abhispace4 2 жыл бұрын

The green origami paper - Darkness! Imprisoning me All that I see Absolute horror I cannot live I cannot die Trapped in myself Body my holding cell

@RichardBarclay 2 жыл бұрын

Someone should do a One/All star mashup now.

@RandomStuff-he7lu 2 жыл бұрын

The issue I find with people no longer using punctuation is that a lack of punctuation can completely change the meaning of what you meant. For example the famous: Let's eat grandma and Let's eat, grandma. Now imagine getting a work email from your boss where they've missed a comma and now they're accusing you of not doing what you were asked to do.

@sogerc1 2 жыл бұрын

Nessy was tapping Jingle Bells (I think). I didn't recognize the other two. BTW, it bothers me when people don't use punctuation marks. But I'm almost 40, I come from a time when orthography was a thing. Nowadays people don't seem to have the time to press a few extra keys.

@yellowlarch 2 жыл бұрын

For the fullstop, it depends on the context. "Ok." is more negative than "ok" although I don't know how to explain why.

@MaverickZ3r0 2 жыл бұрын

I think the capital letter might be part of it too. Like, "ok." reads differently to me than "Ok." I don't know why either. Maybe the closer to 'formal' writing something gets in a casual context, the more detached you seem, which makes you seem more hostile to some people? I know that on chat mediums like Discord, I have a friend who writes as he would in any other context with capitalization, and he often is misconstrued as stern or hostile even though he isn't trying to be.

@ZatoichiBattousai 2 жыл бұрын

Why can't people be CLEAR AND CONCISE?! This would be a very good step towards making the world a good place.

@dhampson545 2 жыл бұрын

But, why is it when you send people email and they read it, they rarely know they’ve read it, or reply to very specific questions with half thought out answers that barely address the question? I feel that if people took the same amount of time with an email as a written letter, this would actually be more efficient. Oh, how do KZfaq comments compare? Good job V.

@ColinJonesPonder 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 56 and always try to use proper punctuation, grammar and spelling when I type out a message, even in IM, though I do tend to use emoji in place of a period on non-formal messages ;) I'm not an expert in English though and often make grammatical errors.

@Gormoth1983 2 жыл бұрын

Communication is soooooooooooo hard. Especially in writing! 😫

@Mykasan 2 жыл бұрын

1:59 wait i did this multiple times with other people and never knew it had a name. FASCINATING.

@mark.fedorov 2 жыл бұрын

That email rating: 👎, those ellipses are dreading. I can see how the person was "wow, this is so great, I don't even have words". But 9/10 times I would read it as "yeah, this is a... thing... that you made... 😬"

@klikkolee 2 жыл бұрын

the newer generations (which I am a part of) tend to strongly associate punctuation and word choice with verbal inflections. The ellipses is usually interpreted as a voice trailing off, which is associated with trying to find the words to sound nice when it is difficult to do so. That implies that the original speaker had a negative view to begin with. Since the ellipses is something you pretty much can't do on accident when typing, it implies that the writer is intentionally trying to evoke this effect -- rubbing in their negative opinion while not actually using negative words. That is the epitome of passive-aggressive. I do find myself pretty uncomfortable with people putting significance in more mundane punctuation like commas or periods. I don't think it's legitimate to infer inflection from whether I remember to add the last period or whether I think putting two clauses together with a comma flows better.

@MundaneGray 2 жыл бұрын

My problem with the ellipsis is that some writers use it exclusively. They've figured out that you can just use it in the place of all other punctuation marks, and the result is, technically, grammatically correct. It's a crutch that lets them avoid selecting the punctuation mark that's actually appropriate. I don't think they understand how vague, rambling, and indecisive it makes them sound. Or maybe they just don't care, as long as they can avoid devoting any effort or thought to punctuation. (Short version: it's lazy writing.) By the way, "ellipsis" with an I is the correct spelling. "Ellipses" with an E is the plural.

@klikkolee 2 жыл бұрын

@@MundaneGray if I saw someone using ellipses like that, I would assume that they were intentionally trying to evoke that "rambling" effect.

@Thermalions 2 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure I like the idea of someone born as late as '84 as being considered old.

@92Pyromaniac 2 жыл бұрын

It's so frustrating to be someone who obsesses over clarity in written communication (I compulsively edit and proofread my whatsapp messages) and yet have to deal with people who do not. I don't think people realise how much they are hurting productivity and relationships with their laziness. Think of all the hours wasted on tasks that were improperly explained, meetings that were missed or held unnecessarily, and deteriorating relationships, purely because people don't bother to read their own messages back to see if they could have multiple interpretations.

@Dj_Nizzo Жыл бұрын

2:13 having “It’s a Small World” right on the screen made me think it was playing the Disney ride song. I think I re-played it 10 times trying to get it to match up in my brain. That was so frustrating, until I realized it was the name of the channel. 🤬

@cach_dies 2 жыл бұрын

Why hasn't this channel pooped up in my feed before?? This content is amazing!

@awsomazingllama 2 жыл бұрын

This makes communicating as a neurodivergent person even more confusing at times. Tone just doesn't really exist for me, and if it does, it doesn't matter nearly as much as the content. I read almost all things as being neutral until the words say otherwise. But knowing this about how other people interpret writing, I find myself editing emails in order to find a place where I can use an exclamation mark, so that I sound nice, but it's really a hit or miss as to where I should put it.

@yeah493 2 жыл бұрын

Yep, interpreting a message is one thing - I can usually account for multiple possibilities for their tone and intended meaning - but when it is me writing I am always amazed by how sure neurotypical people are of their totally incorrect interpretations of my message. It's the certainty, the fact that they confidently respond according to their assumption, that fascinates me. If my message is poorly communicated or difficult to interpret, the result isn't confusion; it is a misunderstanding. They seem to "hear" unspoken meaning so loudly it sounds real. Or maybe it's overall just more rewarding for them to have intense interactions that are riddled with misunderstanding than to doubt their intuitions? Maybe I am overestimating the frequency of significant misunderstandings between neurotypical people. The result is, when I write an email I just try to be efficient and save people time. It's easier than agonising over how it comes across, and people always appreciate things being made easier for them.

@gumbilicious1 2 жыл бұрын

My take is that emails are ubiquitous and generally unimportant. Something you have so much of with such little information in them means you eventually stop putting effort into reading or writing them. At work they are most often used as some receipt of minimal attempt of a task you have no interest in performing

@Nixontheman 2 жыл бұрын

I read informal emails and texts as spoken by the sender, it helps, formal emails are read as written and all contextual information considered.

@iprobablyforgotsomething 2 жыл бұрын

"Yes. We could do that." -- negative; unneccessary pause with the period which when translated to verbalization equals a deliberate pause to communicate distaste, disagreement or lack of enthusiasm. . "Yes, we could do that." -- positive or neutral-inquisitive (partial conditional agreement, possibly seeking to acquire or provide additional information before setting on full agreement), depending on context of rest of responses or individual's history of communication style. . "Yes we could do that." -- positive yet frustratingly vague (often indicates agreement but fails to confirm this explicitly, sometimes deliberately as a way of leaving it open to throw a peer under the bus should one need cover their own behind by denying a fully verified agreement / permission in writing) and also personally frustrating due to lack of correct punctuation if used in formal communication.

@smoothe14 2 жыл бұрын

This is why, as exhausting as it is, i always add intros and outros into my emails. “I hope all is treating you well.” Shit like that. So that i can come across a little more pleasant in emails. I usually always get the responses I’m looking for and pleasant ones at that. I feel, sometimes, it makes me sound disingenuous, but i feel like it’s lost in modern emails that was a usual mainstay in letters.

@DeborahFishburn 2 жыл бұрын

I wonder if the reason people were downvoting the sentence withthe full stop after the Yes, was that the We has no capital. You finished a sentence after a full stop, so you need a capital letter to start the new sentence. I also wonder why "Yes, we could do that" wasnot also tested.

@Kram1032 2 жыл бұрын

So many punctuation choices! But yeah, "Yes, we could do that" is a solid one to me. Better than both given options for sure

@chillsahoy2640 2 жыл бұрын

The thing that always bothered me at university was that my tutor used to use TWO full stops at the end of a paragraph. It was an awkward halfway point between a full stop, and ellipses. I never knew how to read the messages he sent that way! Normally a full stop doesn't bother me, and I tend to rate it as neutral/formal, which is fine. But this felt like he was so exasperated that he'd start typing ellipses then get tired partway through.

@quacerproductions 2 жыл бұрын

Knowledge bias is the bain of every writer. We tend to leave out little details out because of it. So what we do is first try to proof read, try and act as if we are not the writer. It does help, but in the end you have to run it past someone else who has no idea of what is going on.

@AronLivestream 2 жыл бұрын

Jingle bells was an easy one. Darude Sandstorm not so much ... and the paper one, I really thought it's the beginning of "Annie are you okay". It fits almost perfectly.

@jhuyt- 2 жыл бұрын

I've noticed that my colleagues from India and Pakistan use trailing dots much differently than people from Europe and the Americas. I asked one of them, an around 25 years old Indian woman, about this and she said she interprets the dots as a positivity marker, similar to how I would use exclamation points, which is why I often find their emails and messages unassertive and insecure.

@haroldcrown5541 2 жыл бұрын

Honestly I expected this to be about negative expression in email aka trolling. I guess this proves your point.

@KarolYuuki 2 жыл бұрын

For me it all depends on the medium. For texting and short messages, yes, full stops sound strange and passive-agreessive. It's better to just hit enter without any stops. But in a longer text (like this one) full stops are necessary and don't fell strange. Elipses are a whole other deal, tho. Old people use them in places that don't make sense

@almightytreegod 2 жыл бұрын

If you’re a chat tech support advisor, you’ll be trained to sound like a cartoon with your positivity, using exclamation points liberally. It genuinely helps. However, I wasn’t aware of how negatively the alternative is perceived, I guess because I’m older. I could probably write a book on miscommunication, especially when it comes to discussing technology or anything that requires a significant amount of context. It’s pretty overwhelming how many people have trouble conveying what would seem to be the most basic information, and that’s among customers and tech support advisors alike.

@MateusAntonioBittencourt 2 жыл бұрын

I use lots of ellipses in my texts. As I see it, it leaves the conversation open, like I'm waiting for your reply, while a period just ends it. Especially if the answer is just a yes or no. Well... My ex several times read the elipses as me being mad, or not wanting to answer her. Which is the complete opposite thing I was trying to convey.

@huplim 2 жыл бұрын

I can't wait to watch this and send it to my bosses!

@braincraft 2 жыл бұрын

Please do 😏

@Friendship1nmillion 2 жыл бұрын

@@braincraft 6:21 They're about the same. 👨‍⚖️

@fluffyfetlocks 2 жыл бұрын

The TLDR is just that we're all nervous wrecks that think we're worse than we are.

@lordinquisitor6651 2 жыл бұрын

I reached the point where I sometimes even put emojis into professional mails. I’ve to this day gotten only positive feedback so far. (The most positive ones were from my boss, who decided to make informal emails company policy (at least internally and with existing clients). That decision actually seems to have reduced communication problems, as well as time spent writing mails😀

@Steelmage99 2 жыл бұрын

I train new hires at my current function. I teach them three rules when it comes to written communication (mails, logs, incident rapports, reminders), which features heavily in our every day workday; 1. Realize that you are the only person in the world, that this message ISN'T written to 2. When you think you are done add two more lines or paragraphs that further clarifies 3. Pronouns are forbidden - only use proper names.

@Curly3373 2 жыл бұрын

Well to me, the grandma emoji for people born before 1985 felt a little over the top 😉

@braincraft 2 жыл бұрын

👵🏻

@dr.kraemer 2 жыл бұрын

that guy really is 37, he just smokes.

@robot7759 2 жыл бұрын

👍 +❔help a lot in my opinion. Emojis ad emotional flavour to an otherwise possibly bland text, which can easily be misinterpreted. Secondly, don't make statements, instead ask questions to check if you're both on the same wavelength? I'm positive you can see what I did there 😁

@tichu7 2 жыл бұрын

Wow, this explains so much (sentence-ending punctuation intentionally omitted)

@blazingchaox 2 жыл бұрын

This explains a LOT about my colleagues behaviors

@braincraft 2 жыл бұрын

Here to help 😅

@DaxRaider 2 жыл бұрын

the tapping was a bad example as after the first 4 taps i was like "jingle bells?"

@erictaylor5462 2 жыл бұрын

6:00 Well, now I feel *REALLY* old. I got my driver's license in 1985 (when I turned 16). Granted, it was on the second to last day of 1985, but it was still 1985.

@dhindaravrel8712 2 жыл бұрын

Also, to guess a song by its rhythm, you have to be familiar with the song to begin with. This is why I stood no chance in the examples in this video.

@B00s3 2 жыл бұрын

I've never seen the period as negative. It seems like some people just refuse to use proper punctuation. Like adding an exclamation point or question mark doesn't always come off positive. Where a period should always be, at the least, neutral. Of course this is where emoji become helpful in conveying your emotions.

@halfmanhalfnerd4986 2 жыл бұрын

I've never been one to want to correct people's use of punctuation. But, I found quite quickly that without punctuation things become even more confusing as sentences quickly become run-on sentences where thoughts get merged and confusing for the reader. I often ask for punctuation in communications as to not confuse different topics that may be brought up. I'm not asking for perfection, as my punctuation is not. When a friend sends 500 words in a text(s) with no capital letters, or punctuation marks of any kind, I quickly get a headache trying to analyze what words go to what sentence. The context of her messages could be completely thrown off depending on which way I interpret the words in her message to go (Left or right). I was born before 85. I only throw in emoji's when the tone of a sentence is difficult to convey through words alone, or without the excessive use of more words. Or when there is a subtle shift from serious to sarcastic for a moment.

@ononearts 2 жыл бұрын

The opening email is inappropriate and unprofessional. It could even be creepy- an assumption that you should meet the other person- based on what? A one-sided crush? Unless you already know the person sending it, and it’s part of a familiar continuum such as from an old friend, an email such as that is decidedly off-putting, if not merely adolescent, because it is non-specific and assumptive. If it came from someone with whom you have a (tentative) professional connection, I would have misgivings as to the quality of communication and potential overall association that such an email may herald.

@MK-of7qw 2 жыл бұрын

My mother, sends walls of text. Usually with no punctuation at all.

@BobHutton 2 жыл бұрын

I made it a habit to beta test instructional emails. I would watch silently while a non-expert followed my instructions. I found that, no matter how clear I thought I had made the instructions, there could always be misunderstood.

@MundaneGray 2 жыл бұрын

I am smiling and nodding as I read this, because I'm a professional technical writer. I write instructions for a living, and I work really hard to make them as clear and simple as possible. But someone will always find a way to misunderstand them. Always.

@DavidAllen_0 2 жыл бұрын

I think everyone here got the Jingle Bells one. I got the Sandstorm one towards the end but failed to hear All Star until given the song, now I can't unhear it, wicked 😁 As for the email, I thought of it as *neutral* It really depends on the context. Conversations tend to lean into one direction until a new topic is brought up. Emojis also can lighten the mood in ways words just can't. And when in doubt, just FaceTime or Zoom or whatever. Nothing speaks louder than microexpressions.

@cortster12 2 жыл бұрын

6:20 The one without periods just makes me irrationally upset.

@perfumeaddict1204 2 жыл бұрын

Really interesting. I had an email from my boss the other day that I thought was critical and then the following day I began to think it wasn't critical at all. I was reading more into it than was there.

@beskamir5977 2 жыл бұрын

Punctuation being implicitly considered negative sucks for those of us that still try to use proper English.

@konayasai 5 ай бұрын

Weird. I interpret proper punctuation positively. When people skip punctuation it feels like they do the bare minimum to communicate, as if I'm not worth even the basic courtesy of grammar.

@TheZenytram 2 жыл бұрын

Those example of neutral sentences that ppl generally interpret it as negative wasnt because ppl tend to negatify the meaning of phrases, but the usage of some sentence is more likely to be used negatively, so ppl have a default negative meaning for those.

@programaths 2 жыл бұрын

It's where autistic trait help, but I fired back "How the fuck am I supposed to know, I am Intelligent, not a mind reader". Took time to understand two mistake: people don't like when you "boast" (even if you don't think you do) and most people assume you have their knowledge and it's passive aggressive to reply "I am not a mind reader". Though, when I initiate, I seldom have followup for clarification and I even have to request it through "Did you had all the information ? Was it clear enough ?" to which it's usually: "Oh, yes, problem solved" or something like that. The worse is when people assume you wrote something and don't really read then ask a question that is already answered in the email like "you may think xxx, but be careful that yyy". People are really lazy and on a rush. When Emails doesn't work, I chat or discuss in "lock step". That means I ask feedback for each new information and only move forward when I am confident the information has been correctly processed. I know it doesn't feel good for the involved party, but that's the most effective.

@CatsT.M Жыл бұрын

About the "Yes. We could do that./Yes we could do that": the same...besides that it would probably be better if it was "yes, we could do that." but that is just my limited grammar experience talking. Also, I am a minor who only recently* found out that full stops were considered rude on the interconnected network that is the internet. *During 2020.