Why Some People NEVER Mature (w/ Dr. Gabor Maté)

Рет қаралды 112,431

Wholehearted

Күн бұрын

The the full video here: • Dr. Gabor Maté: The My...

Пікірлер: 140

@AngelaNewcomb 8 ай бұрын

Dr. Mate has taught me so much. He has my eternal gratitude. He is behind all methods to my parenting and has been the calling voice for my husband and I to break the horrible generational foundation that has been passed down to us. We are better people because of him.

@JCMovingtoEcuador 7 ай бұрын

Just learned about this man last week and awaiting one of his books to arrive. I can tell from watching his videos what a impact Dr. Mate has to so many who struggle. What a presence, just hearing him speak makes me feel calmer. Can't wait to learn more from him.

@renegadejane6122 7 ай бұрын

Same I love him. The father and gpa I never had lol

@stacytw79 7 ай бұрын

So glad you (and your hubby) found him. ❤🙏🏼 (And so glad for your babies’ sake as well❤)

@tanyacarlyle1422 3 ай бұрын

What a beautiful testament to him 🙏 Thank you for sharing 🙏

@acoyianicole 7 ай бұрын

Il never forget the first time i watched him explain childhood trauma in its relation to addictions.. i sobbed so hard. Not just me, my soul was sobbing also.

@chris-nd7pi Жыл бұрын

Central theme of my entire life

@77het Жыл бұрын

I have never heard this explained so well in my life

@schwalbe197448 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Maté you are a true light. Thank you so much for everything you brought us. ❤ you are a gift and a true healer, not only a "doctor". Warm regards from Germany.

@beautifulsoul-kr3cg 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Dr. You literally save me😢

@joannegarofalo3556 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Dr Gabor, you enlight me!

@chyfields 5 ай бұрын

I have noticed that when parents punish children, the tendency is to deprive the child of something precious. So the child learns that the very people who they should love the most, are the same people capable of hurting them the most. Trust suffers Respect suffers. Love suffers

@marywilliams9858 Ай бұрын

Better than being beaten

@chyfields Ай бұрын

@@marywilliams9858 That’s the.sad indictment of human parenting - violence or threats.

@samuelheywardjr.3351 8 ай бұрын

I can listen to him all day. What an incredible mind!!

@marymotherofgod4861 10 ай бұрын

I love this guy so smart direct and smooth❤❤❤❤❤

@bayareaprepper 9 ай бұрын

Dammit Dr Mate.. I need more wisdom from you

@maryherbivorre3393 11 ай бұрын

Thanks mom & dad 😢

@KungLao15155 6 ай бұрын

You deserve all the love in the world, I truly hope you find peace.. I come from a very fucked up place so I know what you mean.

@laorientalm2554 8 ай бұрын

I love this man.

@crlyleeyogikristine3994 Ай бұрын

So much to learn from Gabor. Thank you! ❤

@Andre.K. 2 ай бұрын

Right on point

@hayleyanna2625 2 ай бұрын

Adore this man.

@engelen8885 Жыл бұрын

A wise man!!

@janhirahara9001 9 ай бұрын

🎯💯💙💙💙Ty Doctor Gabor Mate ♥️♥️♥️🙏❣️❣️❣️

@sarahstephanieable2271 2 ай бұрын

I’m choosing to stop pause, and reflect upon the calm and tranquility. I have right now. Plus my 13-year-old son likes it here. I am choosing to live in a farm town instead of one of the fastest growing areas of Florida with my business.

@christinarodriguez7241 Жыл бұрын

Wow, reminds of my father. My son was crying and he got upset because of it so I yelled back at him. I said he’s crying so what and he got even more pissed off.

@buttercuptaylor7135 7 ай бұрын

When a baby cries, pick it up and hold it.

@karendowney2888 2 ай бұрын

I am concerned for your son. Let him spend more time with grandpa.

@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl 4 ай бұрын

Gabor is a treasure ❤️

@Alkemiss 3 ай бұрын

Ughh, I just love this man's energy

@dorobee 9 ай бұрын

Basically whole humanity is stressed

@kartikayjain1912 8 ай бұрын

No. There is some good. It'll be hard to find, but it'll be worth it.

@penyarol83 3 ай бұрын

Humanity was never meant to live in civilization, it's an unnatural, abusive, and highly stressful system

@fabiengerard8142 2 ай бұрын

Statistically, I'm afraid you're right. And it will go on that very way more and more, since consumerism also turned out to triggerv the brutal overacceleration of history that's leading us all to an unprecedented civilizational dead end at the global scale. 🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏

@lvql1032 5 күн бұрын

Amo escuchar a este hombre. Su palabra debe ser difundida. Gracias Gabor Mate ❤ Gracias difusores de su palabra y saber

@joeldwest Жыл бұрын

Crapitalism is too stressful

@chris-nd7pi Жыл бұрын

You see any solutions even in small ways? Curious I think about it a lot too

@thewatchers5930 Жыл бұрын

It's totally toxic & unrealistic

@sophielepinoia Жыл бұрын

@@chris-nd7pi put families first and not money

@malcolmnicoll1165 Жыл бұрын

"Socialism produces bad music, bad art, social stagnation and really unhappy people." -Frank Zappa

@mikahspatzierer4464 Жыл бұрын

What's stressful about a meritocracy is a person not accomplishing enough to increase their self esteem and comparing themselves degradingly to their perceived standards of excellence and to external images of success

@deedee9312 28 күн бұрын

Spot on!❤ I am a speech therapist and I work with early intervention and see the exact thing and results Dr Mate is talking about ❤bravo 🎉

@bybyc99 9 ай бұрын

Thank You so much 🙏❤️🙏

@luciehawaii Ай бұрын

Now, as adults we can self regulate and break free. Many tools online we can choose from 😊

@Ngan.marianguyen 4 ай бұрын

My mother is like this. Its SUPERRRR frustrating being her daughter and talking to her!!!!😭😭

@Retro_animation 11 ай бұрын

It's not all about the parent to help the child grow. Ever hear of the term "it takes a village to raise a child"? Because it not just the parent. And yes if all of the people in that child environment do not help the child then the child will not develop correctly. It's not always one factor.

@sudoku252 9 ай бұрын

In the full lecture he covers that look it up

@MrXavierv773 9 ай бұрын

The parent chooses the environment.. not the child. it is all on the parent.

@penyarol83 3 ай бұрын

It is mainly the parent. And they're the ones who decide to bring the child into the world. If the parent brings the child into a situation where there is no village or an inadequate one, who will suffer? The child. The buck stops with the parent. It's what grown-up responsibility about.

@AyleenHacopian 3 ай бұрын

I got to apologize to my children for this deficiency I had when raising them ! We have come far together 🙏 and I’m grateful for that.

@renegadejane6122 7 ай бұрын

Sounds like me 🥹 well damn

@Kal-EL_Volta 4 ай бұрын

Link to full video please

@james.yt.00 4 ай бұрын

I don’t know how to link it, but it’s called The Myth of Normal & The Power of Connection. It’s on KZfaq on the Wholehearted channel. It’s a 1 hour special.

@Love.America Ай бұрын

I just found d tou days ago and I can't stop watching and crying. I have a therpist, but I know she is not tough enough on me. I need and desire a really good theprist, how do I know what one will be right for me. I wish Dr Mate would be my therpist, I need You so badly.

@regancarter2269 6 ай бұрын

I am that infant at 44 years old now unfortunately..just add in blunt force trauma with 186 stitches to the dome at 5 years old..bummer

@jt.ve.7236 9 ай бұрын

True

@Rahma-ic3vx 7 ай бұрын

If the center of self regulation never develops can it be developed in adulthood or what is the next step to do if this happens 😮can you answer 🤔 please

@Rebel377 2 ай бұрын

Take DBT and CBT with a therapist

@Rahma-ic3vx 2 ай бұрын

@@Rebel377 any book or video. you can share me bcz i coudnt get such therapy in my area.

@akkiishere 2 ай бұрын

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/gax-eKt7qrvKZH0.htmlsi=Ai7zTT8H2rQTd4ue

@akkiishere 2 ай бұрын

Sharing a link to Dr Nicole Lepera's videos. Her channel has more such videos which explain the body's responses to stress and trauma. She also gives methods to regulate the nervous system. Hope it helps 😊

@luciehawaii Ай бұрын

Awareness, self awareness, conscious breath, self soothing thoughts - he mentioned them in video, redirect attention, vagus nerve stimulation, breath work, slowing life, nature, meditation, Shadow work, journaling, taking step back before reacting. tools are all free on YT. Adults nowadays have zero excuse to stay in self pity and not bettering themselves.

@emc6811 9 ай бұрын

Because some people never want to mature. You see it in so many parents at schools. They behave worse than their kids

@fredharvey2720 11 ай бұрын

My sister

@jfalk35 5 ай бұрын

This man is brilliant. Idk what we would do without him. 😏

@amygerstle2037 21 күн бұрын

❤❤❤

@sophvero 10 ай бұрын

l'excellence

@leonardobautista2647 7 ай бұрын

I guess that happened to me :/

@epektasis_shunyata 4 ай бұрын

What i dont understand is how one of my brothers is unable to regulate himself and myself and the other are. She was also in a much more stable and healthier environment with him.

@lavieenpoesie4600 3 ай бұрын

Please tell me that there is a way for that adulte to mature 🙏

@user-rh9gc3rf3x 2 ай бұрын

So parents let their stress onto me great😏 hey I know how to self regulate better than they do 🙂 Thanks Gabor, genius.

@marielleo4715 Жыл бұрын

What abaut neuroplasticity on this case?I don't know it!'Please ,answer the question!

@penyarol83 3 ай бұрын

Yes, neuroplasticity is possible, that's what healing is. It's a lot of work though. But the only way to make things better and solve these problems.

@olivermatias2349 6 ай бұрын

💋

@elsh332 9 ай бұрын

So what do i do as a parent who never got what i needed as a child?

@utube-user-9792 8 ай бұрын

Take responsibility for your own actions. Re-parent yourself, give yourself all the love you dint get as a child. Self love will heal you ❤️

@elsh332 8 ай бұрын

@utube-user-9792 I have taken responsibility for myself. But I cannot pour love into my own cup from my empty cup - that is nonsensical 🤷‍♀️

@dontwatchdotorg 8 ай бұрын

@@elsh332 Self love can be generated from within. Also listening to Alan Watts lectures will help in filling your cup (or teaching you how to fill your own cup)

@purenatur3 8 ай бұрын

sElF lOvE yOuRsElF 😂🤡

@elsh332 8 ай бұрын

Love is learned. Love is taught. One needs to receive love in order to have love and know what it looks like.

@Janaceks_Dad 11 ай бұрын

Yes, but this sounds like a problem with no solution

@maryherbivorre3393 11 ай бұрын

Right. Thanks mom& dad 😡

@utube-user-9792 8 ай бұрын

He already gave the solution. The adults have to look inside them and try hard to self regulate. Not all will do it, but some will.

@Nothinhurtz Жыл бұрын

It happened to me, but no one will own up to it, because they are chicken shit, just kidding, lol.

@Lys1994-er7xt Жыл бұрын

tbh i feel this deep I my soul

@mikahspatzierer4464 Жыл бұрын

The point isn't to place blame... the parents never learned to self regulate either how can you blame them for not teaching you. YOU never learned to self regulate and YOU have to take responsibility for your own life

@valerielindley3736 11 ай бұрын

That was really hard for me to get past. One way was accept and redirect thoughts. Accept what i cant control redirect my thoughts that accepts others but changes my view. I dont want this child mindset anymore

@penyarol83 3 ай бұрын

@@mikahspatzierer4464placing blame is fine and actually an important part of the process. What it actually isn't about is expecting them to change. You can blame them but realize how hopeless it is to expect them to all of a sudden become the good parents you need. You need to mourn the fact that they deprived you of what you needed and damaged your life. And that was a huge wound, and that's the painful reality of your life that they caused you. By angering and grieving deeply, you heal deeply. But if you try not to blame them, you'll probably stay stuck with the full extent of your feelings and truth still repressed. So you won't really heal.

@user-wv7kt4wk7q 2 ай бұрын

And it goes on and on. The snow ball keeps adding snow as it gains speed rolling down the hill. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. That is why there is an explosion of the alligator population. It is a very dangerous world with all these wild animals running around except for the weaker ones who just get killed off. Who started the fire and it wasn't me?

@jacksonvega7751 8 ай бұрын

Sounds familiar Urgh dammit

@CorporationSKY 2 ай бұрын

America enters the chat

@NinaMeenra Ай бұрын

🫶🏻

@saulbeiza7303 4 ай бұрын

So. Xx be rich

@robynhope219 4 ай бұрын

It would really help if I liked his face, but don't. His face is a barrier for me. I see something there I can't explain.

@luciehawaii Ай бұрын

Hungarian old face? War, Holocaust survivor still written all over him? I knew all of this when I first looked at him without knowing his background. He is awesome 😊

@robynhope219 Ай бұрын

@@luciehawaii i guess ur right, but still, I dislike his face...not only that, he lies about his credentials.

@kforest2745 9 ай бұрын

I know a lot of people say babies are born innocent but that’s not true some have genetic behaviours that are unruly. A sibling was a problem from the time old enough to walk there were major behavioural issues from temper tantrums and throwing things and lashing out and lying the manipulative games the stealing on and on and on it goes the misery it was rotten couldn’t get along with a single person that’s how angry and jealous that kid was even born with the fists flailing through the air no exaggeration that’s how my mother told it. So no such thing as perfectly happy babies some come out and turn out eternally damned there was something wrong with the psyche that ran in the family the father no different from a child to adult just pure rotten trouble maker.

@penyarol83 3 ай бұрын

Yes it is true. Your sibling was abused and/or neglected. You just don't see it yet.

@kforest2745 3 ай бұрын

@@penyarol83 a kid neglected before birth? Fists flying straight out of the womb lol oh really yeah no this kid wasn’t neglected

@kforest2745 3 ай бұрын

@@penyarol83 if you read what I had there you’d know this was a genetic transfer

@kforest2745 3 ай бұрын

@@penyarol83 we’re talking psyche here in case you haven’t caught on

@penyarol83 3 ай бұрын

@@kforest2745 what do you mean by psyche and what gives you the impression I haven't caught on

@rubytuesday7653 Жыл бұрын

🪶 Thank You, Healer .....♥️🦬♥️

@florite007 Жыл бұрын

It’s not the brain that is the problem now, it’s the lack of heart base regulation. You often hear of mind control but never about heart control, so we now!?!

@sudoku252 9 ай бұрын

So now you do the work for the next generation, cus it's never too late to do heart work