NFP is what separates the men from the boys. Tough but worth it. Solidarity, brother.

Been struggling recently with my anxiety and depression about being single and I'm going to a wedding this weekend where I am the Best Man so I expect it to hit home a bit then. Praying for whomever my future wife is that God is helping her along her journey and in His time we can meet if we haven't yet :)

As G.K. Chesterton said, and I paraphrase, "Good society is made by people who want freedom from indulging in vice, destroyed by those who want the freedom to indulge in vice."

Not catholic, just Protestant but this channel is AMAZING. Thank you Bobby for sharing here and your humanness.

Guys, this is the best: Husband-and-Wife video: "Why we love NFP" Husband-alone video: "Why I hate NFP" ;D

I used NFP even before I became a Catholic as I believed that the birth control pill prevented the fertilized embryo from implanting. Breastfeeding my children until they were two years old was also a very effective method way to plan my family. I had eight children. (Ending with twins at 40) NFP worked very well for me with only one unplanned pregnancy for me, which I was thrilled about. In the Bible it says that when a man and woman come together we should always be open to new life. I took that seriously and lived by His word and was Blessed.

We are on vacation with my parents and we were unsure what the sleeping arrangements would be as we haven't stayed at this cabin before. We are in a fertile period and waiting until our youngest is two before we change our intention from avoiding go achieving. Anyhow, we walk in to the cabin. My husband and I have bunk beds to sleep in while we are here. We both laughed. Well played God, well played. ;P

As a married man, i am glad you did this as a one-on-one talk. Thanks for opening yourself up.

"Sometimes I have to die to myself"....then I notice the skull in the background 😂 Great video!

I really appreciated that you mentioned just because you are married does not mean you are entitled to intimacy, and NFP definitely accommodates that idea well. I've heard many Catholics say differently, as if once we become married we can forget about honoring our spouse as a person.

This is one of the realities of NFP that is not often talked about and I really appreciate it!! Thank you for this video!!!

Nothing worth having comes easily. Thanks for doing this series.

As a woman in my 30s practicing self control during fertile days is not impossible, but it's very difficult thing. I'd almost rather pack up and move to a hotel alone while I'm ovulating.

Love your channels , I am Protestant for England and really take a lot from these and especially Father Mike Schmitz, you’re inspirational and definitely help to keep me on a narrower path. God bless, from the cold wet UK! X

At least you’re only abstaining for like a week....Those of us with same sex attraction are abstaining from our desires for life.

This is the best series ever on NFP we will be using this in our Marriage Prep classes. Thank you so much

A GREAT video, Bobby. This parallels my own experiences with NFP. We struggled at various times throughout our marriage as to whether or not to obey the Church's teaching or not. But in the end, the Holy Spirit convicted us that NFP is a good and proper way not just to abstain at certain times, but to grow in respect for one another as persons made in the Divine Image of God. I also love the quote that you read from Ven. Fulton Sheen. #Powerful. God bless you and Jackie for your ministry. I wish you guys were around 30+ years ago when we were in our 20's and 30's!

You are a brave man Abstaining from something like the sexual act is hard enough in and of itself; but to be in such close contact as you were in the last three videos... Like dude, I only wish I had that amount of self-restraint! Know that you and your family are in my prayers and I wish you the best on persevering in the great task that the Lord has given you God bless you and thank you!

The best part is all that suffering and restraint makes you stronger!

Thank you so much for this Bobby. This was sobering. Thank you so much for being honest about your own struggle as well. May God continue to bless you and your family.

I became Catholic this passed Easter. My wife is still protestant. She agreed to do NFP and we got too ancy before really mapping out her cycle and now she's pregnant with our 5th child. Lol. But learning and better understanding the Church's teaching on sexuality made me realize just how selfish I was being about my desires! I feel terrible that I objectified her so much. I have genuinely grown in true love for her through this. My heart is accepting much more now that my role is to serve her.

My dude, were you ever a single guy? Cuz bro 15 days is nothing.

Thank you so much for this video, for your sharing! This is really inspiring for those who are struggling to use/figure out NFP. May God bless everyone who chanced upon your works and most esp. may God bless you and your family.

My husband and I decided when our second child was one year old we wanted to be faithful to the Catholic Church. We used NFP from the time I was 28 until I was 45 and had to have a hysterectomy because of diseased female organs. When we started NFP, I prayed God would help us stay faithful. We never used artificial birth control again. I would like to Say it was because we were virtuous, but it was because God answered my prayer in an unsuspected way. At 18 months our second child began manifesting severe autistic characteristics. We did not even think about relations till he was 7. It was easy to abstain when our goal was survival. We had to constantly watch him so he did not injure himself or our first child or us. We did not sleep deeply 2 years. Sometimes NFP is extremely easy. Even though our story is a little strange, I highly recommend NFP. It makes you truly appreciate one another and learn that sacrifice and love are the same thing.

The grass is always greener. I was Catholic, fell away, engaged in lots of sexual sin, and eventually came back to Catholicism. Before I came back to Catholicism, my acupuncturist suggested I stop the pill and she recommended a book about NFP. My husband did not complain once when I went off the pill - he said I was much less moody and I was happier, which made his life easier 😊. So while the pill might sound easy and great, it's really not. Not only does it have physical side effects for women, it has a lot of emotional side effects for women that can then negatively affect the marriage and family.

I taught NFP for 15 yrs, practiced it for 25. It's not easy to abstain when God made us to desire each other during the fertile period. We've had to use it during serious health issues over the years, and now that my husband's health isn't good, and perhaps widowhood in the future, that discipline will help. 😔

Oh my gosh 😂 the dad joke at the beginning though! 😂 I appreciated it 😊

I actually would have really appreciated hearing your wife's perspective on abstaining because abstaining is just as hard for me as it is for my husband. I actually really struggle with NFP.

I went to an NFP session and this one guy mentioned how abstaining in marriage helped him to have more respect for his wife because he didn't objectify her since there was no sex on demand.

6:20 "Let's pray, yeah you, behind the camera" XD actually made me sit up and join my hands in prayer. I love this channel!

Brother…I love this video. I didn’t completely buy into NFP at first, but I am all for it now. I have heard all the arguments against. But your reasons are spot on. I would add, DIALOG is required between husband and wife. We are truly “equally yoked” with NFP. Thanks for the video.

I am learning more about Catholicism each day and am currently in RCIA. I understand this to a degree, I'm on a self imposed 7month abstinence period. But knowing how much being together intimately is important for a long lasting loving relationship I don't see myself ever being able to do this. It's easy to talk about platitudes about becoming closer to your partner and suffering through it, but if you read the Catholic forums about this it tells a different story. It almost cripples many relationships and leads to long lasting sadness. We are mortal beings for a reason, even if in the end we pass on, forsaking this life's most precious moments doesn't make sense to me. Someone please help me understand how this brings you closer to your partner?

I like the skull on your desk, Memento Mori!

This is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing all of this Bobby. Please, keep it up!!!

Great video! NFP can be challenging, but it has blessed our marriage so incredibly!

Jackie and Bobby thank you so much for your recent videos on contraception and NFP. They are so helpful and much needed in today's world when there is so much confusion surrounding our sex and sexuality. Would you make a video on chastity within marriage? I'd love to hear your thoughts and wisdom in how to live out purity within marriage when it might be easy to slip into the mindset of "anything goes now that we're married". Keep up the great work, and may Jesus bless your ministry abundantly! In Christ, Rachel Pepmeyer

Best one yet! God Bless yall

Thanks for the video, brothers. God bless you.

I’ve thought a lot about marriage and having kids. However, I’m terrified of pregnancy bc even though im a full grown adult I’m very tiny and have a short, thin, fragile frame. On top of that the women in both sides of my family have had a history of miscarriages and complications. My mother almost died both times she gave birth and my brother and I almost didn’t make it either. The doctors told her she couldn’t have anymore kids or she and the baby almost certainly wouldn’t make it, so she didn’t. I don’t know if my body could handle it. I’ve also always had a very very strong desire to adopt children rather than make my own for several reasons. Being able to give children a second chance of being raised by loving catholic parents, and i genuinely don’t want to bring anymore children into this crazy world, etc. Also taking care of homeless, parent less kids is one of the best ways to be actively pro life by showing we DO care for kids after their born, not only before. My question is, would it be a sin if I were to use NFP in a future marriage to avoid pregnancy, even though I’d have children through adoption and of course raise them as Catholics? Or can you only use NFP if you’re open to having biological children. I’m willing to adopt as many children as I can as long as I’m able to give them everything they need including my time and attention. However I’d want them to have a father (my husband) because Id want to give them an example of a traditional family with a happily married mother and father, and sex seems to be a very important part of marriage so I don’t know if abstinence during the entire marriage is an option. Of course if it were Gods will that I have my own biological baby, and NFP would fail to prevent a pregnancy, I would be %100 open to that as well.

It also requires a womans body to be at least semi-normal. For someone who struggles with extreme cycle disruption due to a number of different diagnosis can cause charting to not be as accurate or abstaining periods can last months or longer. I will say though, its not so common that temps and charts don't work for a woman. If she at first struggles or is irregular, she can tweak other things in her life like diet and exercise, but sometimes those types of issues may end in hysterectomies anyways due to severity and those women need to know that they have not sinned. So I completely agree with NFP, but if you have severe medical issues, please get a coach because it is not easy. Thanks for the series!

Thank you for sharing this very realistic and encouraging view. Many Catholics struggle with this but feel alone.

Struggling with this right now! Thank you for your grace, Jesus!

I love y’all so much ❤️ going to start up my YT channel soon. Lifestyle content with a Catholic twist.

Thanks for the honesty!

Also some people use it to fall pregnant not avoid it. While listening to this I kept thinking of the question asked in the wedding ceremony “Do you willingly and freely accept children as given by God?” Not sure of the exact words but that’s what it meant to me. How many people say yes and then later on “but...”. It’s a serious thing to be open to life and abandon oneself completely to the plan of God regarding having children. To accept to have or not have children in accordance with His will. Praying for all Catholic married women.

It is unlikely that I will ever need to worry about NFP since I am a sr. citizen and single. I am anyway so impressed with the hope afforded women, marriages, families and the human race in general by this system, and its contribution to marital happiness and stability. I think ‘necessary periodic refraining’ from sex via NFP can protect & preserve marital sexual attraction, along with the other blessings indigenous to NFP. I think that artificial forms of family planning, and the huge subculture and the philosophy that grew out of the birth control boom, rampant at the time when I came of age, influenced my being unmarried and w/o my own children, when this is the opposite of what I desired, (although not necessarily to the exclusion of beginnings of a subsidiary career). ( there are certainly other influences, internal and worldly and maybe, also, religious that contributed to a life that I hadn’t always hoped for or expected, including the way God works in our lives) God teaches us to find meaning in our lives as they are and gratefully, I do { but never could w/o God’s help}. Among the blessings I enjoy is occasionally commenting on the encouraging works of God as I find them in social media. God bless.

Thank you for your video. My wife and I are discerning a call to join the Catholic Church (currently Anglican) but I have to admit this is the biggest hang up for me, so I appreciate my comment being read sincerely and from pastoral eyes. I assure you this is not meant to be trolling at all. I had a vasectomy half a decade ago as we were done having children. We both still feel that way. I understand that in catholicism I could in theory be in good standing if I were to have this reversed (though by this point chances of success are low), but I struggle with why I need to do that. After each of our pregnancies my wife struggled with significant mental health issues. Obtaining a vasectomy was in many ways a mercy for my wife. I felt not only at peace with this but as though it was the most loving thing to do for my wife. I struggle with recognizing this act of love as an act of sin. I do recognize that many things that people could construe as love are actually sin but I struggle to see how a Christian husband laying down his own desires for the well being of his wife is a sin. When searching online for the Catholic perspective to this I find NFP as the alternative. I struggle with this. As a medical professional I am aware the NFP when done correctly is more effective than condom use. So why then is NFP preferred? It seems that God would have better chances, so to speak, in make a condom fail than in making NFP fail. In other words, it would seem that NFP is more of a barrier to "the potential of life" than condoms are. NFP after all is done expressly for the purpose of avoid a new life. If a couple only has sex when the wife is not fertile, then they have taken the potential for life out of the equation just as much as wearing a condom takes it out of the equation (only more effectively so as mentioned above). Isn't NFP "inherently selfish" in that it is specifically done only for the purpose on preventing a pregnancy? Again, I recognize this comes off as argumentative but I genuinely am searching for answers. If we join the Catholic Church I want to do so in good faith. I can't stomach the idea of going to confessional and not confessing something that the church holds as a sin but I do not. Thank you in advance for your thoughts on this.

Nicely said! Thanks, Pete D.---

Me impactó mucho el quote de Fulton Sheen! “Cuando un hijo es dado a sus padres, se hace una corona para ese hijo en el Cielo, y ¡ay de los padres que crían a un hijo sin conciencia de esa corona eterna.”

I love the idea of self mastery and temperance. Society has made sex seem like something everyone is entitled to.

Wonderful video!

Can you please talk about situations when NFP is misused and actually harms the marriage? Like when one partner denies the other during fertile times bc one doesn’t want children anymore because they feel they have enough to take care of while the other is open to the struggle of new life creating years of stress?

Sorry... Still not convinced... Maybe my problem is more complocated. I'll keep thinking as you say anyway... Thank you for sharing.

An extremely straight and honest question to you Bobby: I'm new to Catholic teaching. I've been married for 25 yrs and we always used contraception. The best time of the month was when my wife ovulated... (well, I warned you this would be honest)... According to Catholic teaching, can't you have sex and enjoy each others bodies without intercourse during the fertile period? Is total abstinence the only option? (I would like to show my grown up kids about NFP and the Theology of the Body, but I'm still learning myself. If this question is too radical, and you don't want to answer within a few days, I will delete it) God with us.

That joke in the beginning had me dead!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lovely perspective

You are a simple man willing to improve

What would you say to any woman or man (practicing NFP) who feels like a "failure" as a spouse if they are unable to give of themselves to the other person with sex because they are in a long season of abstaining? I have a friend who is very new to NFP and is seriously considering going back to external contraception because she feels like she is a failure as a wife if she has to deprive her husband of sex for a month or so in order to regulate her cycle... I know this is wrong but I'm assuming she isn't alone in feeling this way about NFP, how do you respond to this concern?

Thank you so much 😊 for sharing the truth, the likes and dislikes of Natural family planning. In the Hispanic community it’s tough and sort of difficult to teach this to many couples. I as a young Hispanic woman and who knows English, I can learn through you two with your videos. I hope to learn as much as I can so I can one day teach them the virtue of Natural family planning. God bless your beautiful family. ❤️❤️ greetings from Boston, MA!!

All of the things that they said you shouldn't do, I did, and it destroyed my marriage.

Great video and great series. I appreciate how upfront you are about it and discuss the realities of things that aren’t normally discussed and are an example of how to live as a catholic man in today’s society. I know this is the end of the series but I hope you and Jackie do another video series of something similar.

For those who are concerned about the morality of NFP, here is an excerpt from Humanae Vitae which I think clearly identifies that the teaching of the Church does not condemn its use as a manner of spacing out births (i.e. birth control) - specifically because it acts in cooperation with the natural order of our biology as God has designed it. Artificial birth control, on the other hand, is a means of imposing our will and intellect over God's and thus acts against His creative design. "... The Church is the first to praise and commend the application of human intelligence to an activity in which a rational creature such as man is so closely associated with his Creator. But she affirms that this must be done within the limits of the order of reality established by God. If therefore there are well-grounded reasons for spacing births, arising from the physical or psychological condition of husband or wife, or from external circumstances, the Church teaches that married people may then take advantage of the natural cycles immanent in the reproductive system and engage in marital intercourse only during those times that are infertile, thus controlling birth in a way which does not in the least offend the moral principles which We have just explained. (20) Neither the Church nor her doctrine is inconsistent when she considers it lawful for married people to take advantage of the infertile period but condemns as always unlawful the use of means which directly prevent conception, even when the reasons given for the later practice may appear to be upright and serious. In reality, these two cases are completely different. In the former the married couple rightly use a faculty provided them by nature. In the later they obstruct the natural development of the generative process..." - Humanae Vitae, section 16 The full document can be found here, in the Vatican archives: w2.vatican.va/content/paul-vi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html

Great videos as always but, look out man there’s a skull behind you!!! Ha ha God bless!!!

Probably highly depends on one's "needs" or drive here. Quite a few couples who have been married a little while and have small kids aren't really doing it all that much anyway . Screaming kids, bills and no sleep are great "cold showers".

The growth a man experiences while committing to observing NFP is truly following the footsteps of Christ.

Could you make other episodes than fr. Mike's podcasts as well?

From another catholic vid I am getting that nfp should be used for serious issues only, like health and difficult economic situations. Is that true? I see catholics using it for less than that.

Great videos and great subject, sex and love in marriage. But what happens when your/my wife has an irregular period? Using NFP a crown for our forth child is being build these months. :) We welcome him/her, but man is not easy.

I have been abstaining since June when my wife gave birth. It is now November. My wife is freaked out about being pregnant again so early so playing it safe. ~_~

Awesome stuff. And yeah, self-mastery approached in any area of life rubs off in other areas of life. We essentially did this, and after almost 30 years of marriage have 3 wonderful kids. Exactly as many as we'd hoped to have, btw.

I was almost about to convert to catholicism from protestant background, but I just havent got to the point where i could accept NFP without a resistance. Dont get me wrong id love to have children, but abstaining in a marriage just sounds TOO hard, a lot of suffering.

Love your chokes.Thank you

Self mastery is great and all but what about ppl with syndromes like PCOS who literally have no way of charting their cycle... bc it’s so incredibly irregular and comes and goes as it pleases.

1 Cor 7:5 "Stop depriving one another, except by mutual agreement for a brief time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (this refers to fasting and prayer not a continual withholding just because)

We are older and no longer able to have children. But even we cant always do things any time we want. God still calls us to wait .Our bodies get older and sometimes we need to wait.If you know what I mean.

I have an irregular cicle... +-10 days... I wouldn't mind abstaining during part of the month, but how to be sure I'm not getting pregnant because of my crazy cicle?

You should talk about the fact that NFP is only to be used in a serious situation not a free for all. And to only be used for a specific amount of time. Example: wife is having mental health issues or you can’t afford another child right now or you have a special needs child that needs extra attention. Pope John Paul II said so himself. You missed that point in all 4 of your videos.

We need more men to be humble and speak out on this!

NFP trains us in love and patience and self-mastery, and that is why we hate it. makes perfect sense.

If you can predict exactly when she's fertile and are avoiding it, and just doing the marital act when she's not, can you reeeaaally say you're trusting God with your family?

That French fry joke 🤣

Thats up to you and the spouse and the Lord

As a single woman who wants to practice NFP when she gets married, how can I start to get to know my body and my cycles?

Nfp is a killer. It is nevertheless the only moral way to deal with this difficult issue. Be ready though that nfp can lead to a complete destruction of intimate life. And that's no joke. One thing that you needed to talk about though Bobby is the marital debt. We are required to fulfill that debt on pain of sin. This makes nfp much more difficult again. Then add in serious medical problems and well - the life of a monk looks much more appealing.

What specifically would constitute a grave reason for using Natural Family Planning?

What is the name of the opening music?

Question: I dated a girl who has endometriosis. She was on the pill only for the sole purpose of treating it. Since she wasn't using it as birth control, merely as a means to help deal with her condition, so maybe one day she can conceive children. Does this make taking the pill ok?

Might be good to change the title? I was hesitant to watch this because of the word “hate”. Maybe change it to “Struggles with NFP”

In the pre Cana. the fr has phd in related study and family counselling told us .this..after pregnancy it's difficult to predict safe date so nfp is tough.also nfp and afp are both there to avoid unexpected child. So many church teachers say as you like in this chapter....Much disputed...Topic.

So what happens when your wife dies? Or you're not married? Surely it's not that tough to abstain for a few days when you are married?

There are parts of this that I understand and I do appreciate the argument for why it's important but I do have a honest question. How does this concept of an opportunity to die to self apply to folks whose wife is post menopause, or people who are infertile? When your wife hits menopause, will you feel a great relief that have now graduated this belief and can now enjoy each other everyday if you wanted? I like the ideas you espouse like no entitlement to sex, working on selfishness etc... I just really wonder if this drastic (to many) step is the only way to achieve that. Avoiding harmful side effects are a great benefit if something is true, but as an example, the Jehovah's Witnesses say to abstain from blood transfusions and one of the main reasons they use is the safety of not catching diseases or complications. Now there may be merit to that but it does not make it true and certainly does not make it a command from God. I guess I just don't understand what happens in a marriage like this after menopause, it seems like it would either have to be sex is over or sex is ON lol.

Where can we read more about NFP? Like more "technical" stuff?

I didn't know we can make sign of the cross with left hand- 7:27

Has a parent, I definitely don’t need NFP to say no to sex. I’m already sleep deprived and stressed most of the time. Also, healthy sexual urges are not selfish ☺️

Right. I still have yet to have my question answered though. Can we still have sex? And I understand that we are to respect the procreational aspect. But can my wife and I have sex when she’s not in a fertile season. Simply just for intimacy. Thanks!

Please forgive the way that I’m putting this. I’m trying to understand but The way that you’re communicating NFP seems harmful. Would love to discuss this. Do you think it’s good to abstain from each other? Do you think it’s good to willingly forgo intimacy with your spouse? This really seems counterintuitive to Gods design for marriage, and the 2 becoming 1.

How is it easy to practice NFP with irregular periods?

This NFP thing works only if the spouses are getting along. If there are problems in the marriage, the church directive on contraception, forcing you to NFP or roll the dice, pushes the couple further away from each other.

If NFP is the better alternative to contraception, go for it. If you do NFP with your husband to avoid pregnancy for no grave reason, please reconsider.

Just had a Baby, she’s six months now Really wanting to do NFP, my period hasn’t started yet, my husband longing for sex since we didn’t have much time to enjoy it after marriage plus we been living two different countries apart In few days we’ll be living together, I’m okay with waiting for my period to start again and start practicing NFP after seeing the regularity of my period. Idk what to do since he’s longing for sex a lot and I’m telling him to wait for my period to start Anyone with ideas