Wow, this is SO true and SO sad for me! I was adopted as a 10 weeks old, and I don't know what happened to me prior to that, but when I saw the orphans on 20/20 in the 1980's from Sarajevo ( I think it was) I realized that something was deeply wrong with me, because when I saw all of those neglected babies rocking back and forth in their little cages(cribs) JUST LIKE I HAD BEEN DOING EVERY NIGHT until I was a teenager to fall asleep, it CLICKED! I also sucked my thumb until I was 10. Clearly, I had to learn to self-sooth during the infant's developmental TRUST stage. My adopted mother, whom I love very much by the way, and DO consider her my "real" mother, unfortunately believed that she received on the day the stork brought me, "The Chosen, Special Baby" (who I didn't want to be, just a normal kid!) and that I was a BLANK SLATE, for her to mold into perfection! This job she took so seriously, and put so much pressure in herself to be a "perfect mother", as if because she was not a natural one, to make up for that. Her breakdown was imminent, not to mention her own childhood issues, which were MANY. What Dr. Purvis said about my scars not being physical, really struck me. Mine are much worse only in that I look normal, so I am judged to be "bad" by my family or that I'm "faking it". I was a nurse, and I in no way want to say the I've suffered more than a physically ill person, NO! But at least they are able to receive compassion for their condition, whatever it may be, and as sick as this sounds, I often even find myself jealous of or wanting to have Cancer! Sick I know, I pray for forgiveness for this, but then at least people could understand. I don't want to discourage adoption , BUT, when you adopt a child, a toddler, or yes, even a brand new baby, it WILL come with a giant hole in it's heart, a deep memory of something not being quiet right. Even if you do the right thing and tell your adopted child about their being adopted very young, which is good, and things go well at first, some day they will want to know their identity, it IS important, and all around them they will hear things like "family is everything", blood is thicker than water", "ancestry.com", etc. Many adoptd people turn out much better off than I ,so don't say no to adoption! Just educate yourself about the issues adoptive children will have, and check your own issues (especially-I think- infertile couples who have tried to conceive unsuccessfully, or who have been unloved or abused s children themselves as my mother was) you may not want to adop. Most people though with healthy childhoods themselves should and do, do just fine! And, please anyone who can, help change the law of closed adoption! California is one of many states that have continued to uphold outdated laws that keep me from having a REAL birth certificate, instead, I have a FAKE one! I feel his is a violation of my human rights! As an adult I should be allowed to know my "Birth parents" names and medical info ha only they can give me, because in 1967, DNA had not even been mapped ye! It's importance was irrelevant then. I have "no" medical history. Now, we all have a medical history. Wow, I've said too much. thanks to these Dr's, if you are considerin adopion, jus learn fro hem and others, hey are spot-on. You CAN help a lost child, craving love!

I know Im not a child anymore but I remember that snuggles were a must. I was called a velcro child. But that quickly stopped when I was a teen. I didn't know why but as years went by I can see that I am not close to my mom as I was before. When she unexpectedly touch me I jerk back. I wasn't want for the touch... But anyways I am 21 years old and My mom has said Why dont you act your age. there were lots of neuro stuff that happened in the past and I am a bit slow. ive also notice my mom changed a lot these past few months and I am not used to that. She's very different.

Amazing! Thank you!

I am going through the same thing and I feel it is really embarrassing at times in front of others. however my question is how will they improve if they are not reminded of their age and if their needs are always looked after by us.will they grow up?