Why Won’t My Wife Let Go of My Past Porn Issues?
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Жыл бұрынWhy Won’t My Wife Let Go of My Past Porn Issues?
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@tracykeeney8931 2 ай бұрын
Not only is he not DOING anything, but he’s upset that she doesn’t trust him. What’s frustrating is his seemingly complete lack of understanding that he PROVED he CAN’T be trusted, not just once, but over and over again. So she tells him to leave his phone and it upsets him because it means she RIGHTLY doesn’t trust him- And even HE knows she’s right. He KNOWS that it’s when he takes his phone with him into a room where she ISN’T that he falls. It might not happen every time- it might only be once every 2 or 3 months- but when it DOES happen, it happens when he takes his phone into another room. So naturally, she doesn’t want him taking his phone into another room. This guy wasn’t looking at porn in FRONT of her for heavens sake- he was looking at it when he went off by himself WITH HIS PHONE. So she’s RIGHTLY and JUSTIFIABLY asking him to leave it. He’s upset with HER for not trusting him, when he knows HIMSELF that he can’t be trusted.
@neechee5150 Ай бұрын
@tracykeeney8931 So lets look at the other side of the coin here. Lets say it is the wife who has the porn addiction even though most women do not think that women watch porn much less can be addicted to porn. Would you be ok with him divorcing her and getting on with his life or should he stay and try to save his marriage?
@tracykeeney8931 Ай бұрын
@@neechee5150 First, I’m well aware that women can have porn addictions. Whether it’s the husband or the wife, that person shouldn’t be upset they’re being asked to leave their phone behind. If someone has proven they can’t be trusted, and ADMITS that they keep falling back into the addiction over and over and over again, it’s entirely unfair for them to expect a spouse to just “trust them” not to fall into it again. That’s like saying “I know I keep falling back into cutting myself, but let me take the knife into the bathroom with me. I promise I won’t use it. I know I messed up last month and cut myself, and 4 months before that and cut myself and 2 months before that and cut myself, and 3 months before that, and, and, and…. but I won’t this time. Trust me. Let me take the knife into the bathroom.” The spouse has every right to demand that the knife be left at the dinner table. “No- You need a knife to cut your steak. So you can use it at the table in front of me, but I’m not going to watch you walk off with it to go to the bathroom. No one needs a knife in the bathroom.” And only a spouse who loves you and cares about you WOULD demand that you leave it. If they didn’t care, they’d LET you take the knife into the bathroom. And why would you WANT a spouse that would let you shut yourself in a room with the instrument you’re slowly destroying yourself AND your marriage with? Second, I didn’t say she should leave him and get on with her life. Neither did Delony. I don’t know where that came from. Of COURSE they should try to save their marriage. And that’s EXACTLY what “leave your phone here” is a PART of. But eventually, if he continues to fall back into his addiction, she MAY decide she’s been trying to save their marriage long enough.
@dahliacheung6020 Ай бұрын
@@neechee5150 1. This person who you're replying to never said anything about leaving the marriage or divorce or anything of the sort. So you're not flipping it around; you're creating an entirely new scenario and trying to compare it to this which is completely different. 2. Speaking of _this_ situation, if the wife was hiding a porn addiction for years and relapsed and finally admitted it, of course it would be normal and acceptable for the husband to react the same way as the wife it's here. 3. If this were a situation that called for divorce, no matter the gender that would be the decision of the partner filed for divorce and yes, acceptable. Bad patterns of behavior are bad no matter the gender. I'm sure why you're asking these questions.
@dndrmffln2960 18 күн бұрын
@@dahliacheung6020he has a guilty conscience
@ThingsILove2266 Жыл бұрын
I don’t think it’s that she “can’t get over the past” but more a disfunction of the present. Porn goes w lying, impulsiveness, and a slew of other behaviors that make for an immature husband. She feels dismissed, and not prioritized.
@anniamarie3809 Жыл бұрын
yup!
@AaronD313 4 ай бұрын
Somehow porn = all that stuff lmao reaching
@ThingsILove2266 4 ай бұрын
@@AaronD313 Healthy people don’t reach for unhealthy coping mechanisms.
@AaronD313 4 ай бұрын
@@ThingsILove2266 who says it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism?
@ThingsILove2266 4 ай бұрын
@@AaronD313 Many of the viewers here who view is as unhealthy bc it’s not God’s design.
@melindawhite347 Жыл бұрын
this was literally my ex-husband and i. it destroyed our marriage 4 months in. i’m so proud of all the men watching this, seeking help, and sharing their stories. thank you dr. john for this. while my marriage couldn’t be saved, not for lack of trying on my part, i pray this saves other marriages before they even start. that is my prayer.
@tshandy1 Жыл бұрын
Question for you. Ofc it’s none of my business, but you did bring it up in a public forum. So here goes… can you share how pornography ruined your marriage? Did it replace his interest in you sexually? Or was it merely that you couldn’t tolerate his viewing it at all? There’s a matter of degree here I’m trying to understand.
@melindawhite347 Жыл бұрын
@@tshandy1 you can absolutely ask. it replaced his interest in me.
@tshandy1 Жыл бұрын
@@melindawhite347 - Well, that's not cool.
@pschieuer1 Жыл бұрын
4 months?? Doesn't seem like much effort was put into it in that short amount of time.
@melindawhite347 Жыл бұрын
@@pschieuer1 correct. not on his part.
@gabolujan3109 Жыл бұрын
Porn is bad. I’m so happy I don’t watch it. 7 years not once watched it. Now I’m no saint. I had my addictions. I am an alcoholic and former pill popper. God is good. Keep it up everyone.
@hoiendehe Жыл бұрын
Alcohol is so much worse than porn
@gabolujan3109 Жыл бұрын
@@hoiendehe that’s comparing two different types of addictions. Porn devastates in other ways that alcohol does not Vice versa.
@hoiendehe Жыл бұрын
@@gabolujan3109 my pronouns is Dave Ramsey
@gabolujan3109 Жыл бұрын
@@hoiendehe my pronouns is ken/Coleman
@firefly9838 Жыл бұрын
Dave Ramsey watches porn😏
@cess4089 Жыл бұрын
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ this is such a tough issue. It’s so difficult. Porn is truly evil.
@Berserk1Manga 3 ай бұрын
It's not. That's just like saying coffee or sugar is evil. It's stupid. Some people just have problems with them and others dont. Just recognize you have a problem, take responsibility and fix it. Once you start demonizing something you ruin it for other responsible people who partake in whatever that thing is.
@charliedeegan1598 3 ай бұрын
@Berserk1Manga You cannot convince me that porn and the porn industry isn't ruining people. Men and women are affected by that awful, disgusting industry.
@ciaran0877 3 ай бұрын
@@charliedeegan1598 some people get it worse than others like for example with porn there could be a guy that jerks off to porn 10 times a day and is ruining and wasting his life but say somebody who jerks off to relax and go to bed at night and wakes up in the morning and goes about his buisness but i agree porn is defiently evil in many aspeects and effects a lot of people
@staydismantling9354 3 ай бұрын
@@Berserk1Mangawhen the vast majority of people are negatively affected by something, that thing is not good. full stop. the analogy we can make here is to cigarettes. yes there are people like my great grandfather who smoked until they were 90 with no health problems. should we still discourage smoking as much as possible? yes as its negative responses in people far out weigh the positive responses.
@matthewmartinez5907 3 ай бұрын
@@staydismantling9354lol there’s no benefit to porn. It can affect you mentally and physically. If you’re Christian it’s a sin. This world tries to normalize it. Make it okay and normal and it’s not. It’s not normal
@kathyalex778 Жыл бұрын
Congrats to this man for calling in and asking for help. Next step is for him to actually start doing the right things. I wish the best for his wife, she doesn’t deserve to be treated the way this guy is treating her.
@juliavie7278 Жыл бұрын
I agree completely, can you believe some people think he should divorce her over this like she did something wrong?!
@jzenlasaar7558 2 ай бұрын
@@juliavie7278and plenty of people calling for the opposite. The man needs help and is seeking it
@mikedixon9742 2 ай бұрын
6:12 is a HUGE point to listen to for anyone who thinks they have an issue with sex addiction... if you find that porn "soothes" you , THINK about what is happening. This was one lightning bolt moment for me when i began to admit my issues. You are tuning to something that is made to stimulate you and it is soothing you... thats how you know its a "Drug" and you're USING it... Good luck everyone.. God Bless
@SherryMacoy-dk4zh Ай бұрын
Great point 😳
@kimberlymagleby7835 Жыл бұрын
Can we talk for a minute about how it wasn't disclosed BEFORE marriage?!
@blueseptember2174 Жыл бұрын
They always lie by omission to catch you. Morally bankrupt individuals.
@sarahalderman3126 Жыл бұрын
Yep. An annulment is definitely in order.
@purelightapologetics4930 9 ай бұрын
YES! He lied to her by not telling her this massive thing and now he’s like, “Why won’t she trust me?”
@AlexisHoltzer 5 ай бұрын
It shouldn’t have to be. It’s wrong.
@zammymynakersnackstbmoth 4 ай бұрын
Exactly. Since he knew that was a dealbreaker, he basically committed fraud by not telling her. He didn't even bother to get help and stop.
@edwardlovrr 5 ай бұрын
As someone who got dumped because I set porn as a NO in any romantic relationship I feel for the woman. As a woman myself if I ever encounter another romantic partner and he watches it behind my back (I am always upfront about porn and I am highly against it in a relationship also I do no consume it) it would make me feel unloved and insecure and I always compared myself to those women in the videos. Get in mind I am still young go to the gym 5-6 times a week, eat really well and I do get approached by men, I do not consider myself ugly. However, I feel so ugly if a man im romantically involved with watches it. It ruins my self esteem and my confidence is gone! I have never felt so ugly until my ex dumped me for it. Men have given me so many excuses as "its just physical its not even real and im thinking of you doing it" then why dont you imagine me doing it??? So many men have left me and I am just realizing A LOT and I mean A LOT of men regularly watch it. Having cats isnt so bad ... Ill definitely get a British short hair.
@Shaolin91z 4 ай бұрын
Thanks Lord for your salvation 🤘
@ivamrazik9788 4 ай бұрын
I feel the same.. But what i hate the most, is people normalize it.. even in relationship.. So when i told my girl friends about it.. their are like.. its ok, you have to accept that your man watches it or you will be alone..
@edwardlovrr 4 ай бұрын
@@ivamrazik9788 I got the same response from my oldest brother too! I would rather be alone then haha!
@joane24 3 ай бұрын
The normalization of porn is terrifying. It's disgusting. When a man looks at porn, it reflects what's in his heart and it's the opposite of purity, just lust. It's viewing at women in such an undignified manner. So when he'll look at you he'll also look at you as a piece of flesh for pleasure, and not a whole person with a soul. It's a tragedy that it's destroying so many men (and women), it poisons their imagination, their perception. Btw British shorthair are great 😃👍
@edwardlovrr 3 ай бұрын
@@ivamrazik9788 I’ve dropped a friend literally cut her off my life because of that argument. I will say it will be difficult to find a man like that but they do exist! I believe they do due to male family members present in my life. What’s even crazier when I was young starting college I had no issue with it and didn’t care but now that I’m older i do care haha
@Smashingblouse 4 ай бұрын
Don’t get married if you can’t focus on your partner alone sexually if that’s both of your goals. If someone isn’t enough for you then they arent for you.
@r.walker7986 3 ай бұрын
Then most people would not get married. Most people do not have access to the people they really want and they settle for what's around and what they can get. What they end up with will never really satisfy them and its nothing that can be done about it, this is why many men turn to porn, to get a release and satisfaction they can 't get from who they are with. Most women cannot actually fully satisfy a man's sexual appetite which was not created for just one woman, monogamy is man made. porn can be the lesser of a lot of evils...
@mikedixon9742 2 ай бұрын
Thats a pretty superficial response to this clip. I would have to guess you don't know much about this subject. Read, educate yourself. Good luck
@Smashingblouse 2 ай бұрын
@@mikedixon9742 it’s the exact opposite of superficial but good try pal. Enjoy your porn addiction.
@crashcompilations2352 2 ай бұрын
That's why I'm single. I can't promise to be faithful.
@Smashingblouse 2 ай бұрын
@@crashcompilations2352 if people were more honest like that we wouldn’t have as much drama 👏🏻
@blueseptember2174 Жыл бұрын
Why his wife isn't in to him? She feels used, like she just a receptacle, he's made her feel self conscious when she didn't before, she wonders if he's lusting after that lady that just walked by them on the street, so now she has anxiety and resents him for that. She also wonders how deep his perversions go now due to porn escalations. Oh yeah and also, men on porn treat you like crap so there's that too.
@MandyBear90 Жыл бұрын
Totally agree!
@Evil-Rod-Farva Жыл бұрын
Competition anxiety is a great thing for both men and women. If you’re worried about your man leaving for another woman, you’re either slacking off or married out of your league. I assure you that every straight man with a pulse is lusting after other women. It doesn’t matter if they’re married, taken, or single. And that’s everyone from the pastor down to the gravedigger.
@staleydu1 Жыл бұрын
You should let her speak for herself, and where she can’t don’t presume that your story is her story. Every story is different
@blueseptember2174 Жыл бұрын
@@staleydu1 these stories are all the same. Ask any woman with a husband who does this. It's always the same. That's what makes it so darn sad. Look at the 👍 button. We are in this sadness together. If a man cared he would see how it hurts his wife and change.
@manifest2203 Жыл бұрын
@@Evil-Rod-Farvathat is what most men don’t understand too. It is natural for a woman to be s3xually attracted to other men even if she is married. Women don’t become as3xual if a better looking guy comes along. That is one of the reasons that women che*at and leave marriages. It is natural for this to happen too. Men should stop victimising themselves over things which are beyond their control.
@pescecanella4742 6 ай бұрын
Are there any men who are not porn addicts these days? I'm being serious. I don't know any.
@edwardlovrr 5 ай бұрын
I have not yet one man who actively does not watch it (romantically). They do exist because I have brothers who refuse to watch it and male family members but its bleak. LOL 😆 I have legit given up on dating. A few slip ups what ever were human but especially gen z men they watch it a lot!!!
@Black_Samurai-fish 5 ай бұрын
Very very few. 99% of men watch it. Maybe 5-10% are willing to give it up for you. Why should they? Most all men don’t see women as people they see them as objects to satisfy their sexual needs and with so many women freely giving it out, why should they bother having any respect for women, women don’t respect themselves.
@funicon3689 4 ай бұрын
yeah busy guys who are getting laid every day and dont have time. i know a few.
@Shaolin91z 4 ай бұрын
There are plenty that don't watch. Best wishes. Take care always.
@CG-MP 26 күн бұрын
my husband watched as a teen, but he broke the habit before we got together. That was a must for me. If he stopped only because I asked him to, I would always be afraid of him slipping back into it. Made a big difference that he recognized it as detrimental for and to himself. If you mean guys who have **never** watched porn, I don't think there's many out there nowadays. But plenty have turned against it or matured out of it.
@danielbob2628 Жыл бұрын
Quote at 6:48 is incredibly important to learn for any aspect of self-improvement. You can't just get rid of a coping mechanism and not replace it!
@rabrubaker296 Жыл бұрын
Yes
@jackcoleman5955 Жыл бұрын
In my recovery program, we called these things our ‘outer circle’ - things that draw us out of self-focus n spiral, and instead help ourselves and others. Reading a great book. Going to a movie n coffee w a friend. Serving at a charity. Meditation. Expressing gratitude for things (addictions usually feed on selfishness/focusing on problems. God help this caller. God help me.
@jackstephens6642 Жыл бұрын
Not doing something is a 'dead man goal." Anything a dead man could do. I.E not eat sugar. Not watch pron.
@leapinglaura7343 9 ай бұрын
@@jackcoleman5955 Hope your recovery is going well, brave Jack. O ♡ O
@iStorm-my5fp 10 ай бұрын
This man has no intention of changing since his porn is his "wifes issue"
@arfriedman4577 4 ай бұрын
I'm female. If you know porn is entertainment and you watch once in awhile, there's nothing wrong with it. You can learn new things to try with your partner.
@zammymynakersnackstbmoth 4 ай бұрын
@@arfriedman4577 Educate yourself. There a tons of studies over decades proving that p* is harmful to men specifically. What you're saying is ridiculous. That's like telling an alcoholic to just have a couple. They can't. That's the point. He has an addiction.
@miepmiep3017 4 ай бұрын
@@zammymynakersnackstbmoth People are so programmed to think it's perfectly ok/fine/good. Like, you're still an individual who can decide what to do and what not to do. But the fact so many people are absolutely uneducated when it comes to this is baffling.
@winkles2314 4 ай бұрын
The fact that he’s calling in is a step forwards. Hopefully he can change.
@arfriedman4577 4 ай бұрын
I realize after that some people gamble away money to these porn people and that's not good.
@TonyaAbernathy68 6 ай бұрын
My husband just destroyed a 28 yr marriage because he refuses counseling or help for his porn addiction….
@thebiggerreality18 5 ай бұрын
That's really sad and it seems like you really want to help him
@Shaolin91z 4 ай бұрын
Let him be. He doesn't have to do what you want him to do. Go live
@matthewmartinez5907 3 ай бұрын
That is insane. I pray for you and I pray he gets out of that sexual bondage. I’m not sure if my wife will help me but I’m praying she does. I’ve done good so far, we are separated as of October. Living separate. No sex. Not much touch. So since found it’s way in to me. No excuse. I should’ve asked my men’s group for help. I’m doing all I can at this point as I know it won’t be okay with my wife, or is she chooses to leave any woman of faith won’t put up with it either. Sexual bondage is a terrible part of this world!
@DanBorens 2 ай бұрын
What does that mean like watching it 3 times a week? Or more
@fromheaventoearth5779 2 ай бұрын
That's crazy especially when the real thing is so much better (when good).
@elizabethbarton7161 Ай бұрын
I showed this to my husband and all he got from it was, ‘yeah I get that youll never get over it. Okay’ 😢
@pocoamante9066 Ай бұрын
you deserve WAY better than that.
@ap1royale627 17 күн бұрын
Pray for him
@StacyWilsonStewart 7 күн бұрын
That’s exactly what mine would take from this. SO FRUSTRATING
@HugoLopez-nm1qn Жыл бұрын
I’m glad he got called out for half a***ing this
@lindarussell1932 Жыл бұрын
If you don’t do something - you are not willing to let it go!🎉
@thestorybehindthat5236 6 ай бұрын
How do i get her to trust me like i don't have a porn addiction I'm not doing anything about? 😂😂
@wf4983 Жыл бұрын
That was motivation! Good Reprogramming and very specific!
@carolhale4331 2 ай бұрын
Thank you, Dr. John for taking this seriously. And for trying to get him to be proactive. Celebrate recovery can lifesaver.
@KidCity1985 2 ай бұрын
Because you creeped her out. I doubt she will get over that.
@sarahalderman3126 Жыл бұрын
Lol, what’s to understand? He has been cheating, she shouldn’t let it go. I mean if she was cheating would he want to just “let it go”?
@megandownor1994 4 ай бұрын
Hahaha I love this call! This guy definitely needed the tough love talk
@staleydu1 Жыл бұрын
There are lots of SA recovery groups in St. George. They are online. Give them a call and guaranteed they’ll extend an invitation. John is right, do something
@jordyjustine Жыл бұрын
The more you view it the further away from your spouse you should expect to get.
@JustActNormal Жыл бұрын
💯
@SummaGirl1347 10 ай бұрын
Clearly, he wanted Dr. Delony to fix his wife and her "issues" with his porn use. It's very common for addicts to blame the people around them for not being "forgiving" enough. He obviously has no intention of doing what he has to do to deal with himself - at least not at this point. Maybe he will after she divorces him.
@maigokonekochan 8 ай бұрын
Exactly. Like it's not our job to stick by them and forgive them when they do the minimum effort to stop it. I'm not ruining my mental health for anyone lol
@stevendavis5095 4 ай бұрын
Cool let us jerk off in piece and leave then. Marriage is a favor to yaw not us. Keep crying where all the real men at. Real men beat they meat like it owe’s them money
@bethlangley13 Ай бұрын
My ex just moved on to the next woman whom would fall for his lies, lol.
@luannkelly5071 Жыл бұрын
She feels cheated. He isn't who she thought she married. It happened to me. Should have dealt with it before getting married. If he doesn't get help soon, and faithfully, she will leave him. She may seem understanding for a little while, but not for much longer.
@crzyruskie86 Жыл бұрын
So when a woman gains weight does a man get to say "Thats not the woman I married" and leave? Women get to play this card but when men do it we are villified.
@Kris-tk2hu Жыл бұрын
Yup, it’s the norm
@erismana2105 Жыл бұрын
@@crzyruskie86 Dumb comparison but keep playing victim
@bensondentalassociates8690 Жыл бұрын
@@erismana2105 no that is actually reasonably comparable
@christoph1596 Жыл бұрын
Porn is not a valid reason to leave a spouse if they are working to do better… it’s crazy when people are shocked men struggle with this when like 75% of men struggle with it… it’s a gross overreaction
@hurricane_valence 11 ай бұрын
Best video yet!!!!!!! Thank you, thank you! Stand up for the wives. This video means so much to me as a wife. If I could've given this video a million thumbs up, I would.
@AaronD313 4 ай бұрын
He has a hobby that doesn’t involve his wife. Shame on him lol
@stevendavis5095 4 ай бұрын
You built like the kool-aid man huh?
@skaterkatiee8925 9 ай бұрын
Been waiting for this one. Thank you.
@jenniferdufour1302 Жыл бұрын
The Finale was amazing ..Dr Delony wanted to jumpstart him …He really wants to help people .
@lav7161 Жыл бұрын
I feel like he's saying that he's gonna fail again and how does he not keep promising her that he won't do it again.
@gk3330 5 ай бұрын
Porn is bad even in moderation
@DanBorens 2 ай бұрын
Probably but it’s not a big deal
@GTRKT-qr5sf 2 ай бұрын
If its bad and you decide to watch it then it is a big deal.
@michaelmoran2125 26 күн бұрын
@@DanBorensbro bro hit the gym and give it up 31 days. Change ur life entirely
@kwlovesb 2 ай бұрын
I needed this today for me, and I'm not a porn addict. Dr. John's recommendation to change things instead of just thinking about the problem, to get up and DO, was just what I needed to hear. Here's to making it different. My health issues may keep me from checking everything off the list, but I WILL check something off.
@glitterstarbeau Жыл бұрын
I don't get why people think John was mean. Sounds nice to me
@benjaminhough8804 Жыл бұрын
This kind of addiction is so so tough. I’ve been there. Fortunately getting married was like a “reset” of sorts and my desire for porn and sexual sin really dropped and it isn’t a huge temptation anymore. However, my wife is an incredible partner in kicking the addiction. If I had to defeat it alone, there’s no way. I tried that for years as a single guy. We were honest about these struggles before marriage and now in marriage she is kind and forgiving when I screw up and always there to encourage and hold me accountable. Finally, after years of struggle I’ve moved past it and it’s because of my wife. I still might have a thought or a temptation, but then I think of her and asking for her forgiveness after I sin and it becomes much easier to push that thought out and refocus.
@kattwin1 10 ай бұрын
How has she helped you through this? What are some of the most helpful and effective things she's done or said? 🙏🏻
@devankurmitra4118 6 ай бұрын
Bro you were lonely and horny, now you have your wife for it
@AaronD313 4 ай бұрын
Imagine that, a compassionate wife that isn’t focused on self
@sarahrobertson634 4 ай бұрын
You're ridiculous.
@Shaolin91z 4 ай бұрын
Thanks Lord for your peace
@flyandshy00 4 ай бұрын
He says he needs frieds, why he's not being frriend of his wife? She should be his best friend.
@TheCatnipCinema 2 ай бұрын
Everyone needs friends. Your partner definitely should be your best friend, I agree. But we need more friends than just your partner. You can't gatekeep your partner and rob them of connections, when we need connections to have good mental health.
@michaelmoran2125 26 күн бұрын
Your right fly, that's grounds for divorce.
@kekejefferson9219 Жыл бұрын
I ❤ that go talk at the end!
@m.b.658 Жыл бұрын
I wish I could talk to John about this. This sounds like it would be my spouse. He substitute his pn watching with alcohol and video games. I’m not saying he is a horrible person but it doesn’t make me feel good. I don’t want to be vulnerable with him anymore because when I do I become a villain and he says he feels attacked but he would get mad and start yelling. He hasn’t done much to change and I don’t think he wants to to be honest. I notice that the more I stress over it and obsess over it I get depressed and start feeling lonely. I feel like I’ve been letting things fall through the cracks and my kids deserve the best version of me. I deserve the best version of me. I’m trying to get me together and even though I love my spouse I don’t feel I can trust them. I know I can’t fully trust him.
@karaa7595 Жыл бұрын
Just bc you love your spouse doesn't mean you should stay. He is robbing you of your greatest gift - the experience of a happy and peaceful motherhood. You WILL resent him SO much once the kids are adults and move on with their life. If you are financially dependent on him I would divorce him in your heart, focus on the kids and figuring out how you can become financially independent one day. Then I'd divorce him for real. Try to keep a good relationship between him and the kids. Take whatever he'll give them assuming it's within your parental guidelines. They don't need to be brought in the middle. It's healthy for kids to see their parents as good people and to believe they are loved by both (even if you end up not being able to stand him). Obviously he doesn't love you how he claimed to love you before you married. I know it hurts but after accepting this reality it gets easier. He isn't capable of real love. He's probably got narcissistic personality disorder. Or he's running from his own abusive past and needs to choose to deal with it.
@kellharris2491 Жыл бұрын
You need to go to a support group for addicts. Because your husband is an addict and he doesn't want to change. Listen. You cannot change him. You can only change yourself. I know he is your husband and for better and for worse. But.... consider this ,as long as he has people enabling him, and keeping him from hitting rock bottom, then he has no reason to change. His actions are hurting his own children and he doesn't see that. As you keep trying to save him from drowning he is dragging you and your children down with him. You have to cut the string and save yourself and your children. This is ultimantly for his own good as well. You are saving him from himself by drawing the line in the sand and sticking to it if he is not willing to change. It's a terrible sin to harm his own children and spouse. If he continues down this path he will only get worse verbuly and emotionally. Neglect is abuse. Sometimes true love is tough love. Avoiding the tough conversations for fear he will hate you is a form of cowardess and even somewhat selfish. You would rather keep him at your side liking you, then risk him leaving you. Even if he desperetly needs to hear what you have to say.
@standground8284 11 ай бұрын
Quick question: I this issue is causing so much tension and strife within your household, why not divorce and move on with your life? Also, please don’t use your kids as an excuse, I’ve never met one person who said I’m glad my parents stayed together, living together pretending to be happy just for me.
@sydoly123 9 ай бұрын
It seems like you take his addiction like it's personal. I have been there and it is exhausting and creates so much disconnect with your significant other. It's his demon he has been struggling with, for probably many years and before you came along. He didn't do it at the start to intentionally hurt you, no he has a compulsive obsessive disorder that he can't control. Yes it's upsetting and disappointing that he lies and lives in denial that his addiction is affecting your relationship. Both of you are behaving like victims and constantly on the defense, you both see each other as a threat. You are not a team ready to confront the issue hence it is just going to be power struggle constantly. That is not a way for both of you. If he doesn't want to do anything about it, then do the only thing you are in control of and it is to heal the betrayal you have experienced and grieve that your relationship is not what you thought it was. Also rather than attacking, (we all attack when we feel hurt), learn to express yourself so you can be heard by being vulnerable. (Being vulnerable doesn't blame or criticize the other person). Most of us haven't learned to be vulnerable, learn as much as so you can have a safer more connected life with the person you live with.
@Clickybux Жыл бұрын
I've been to recovery groups and when they fall they can pull you down with you...be careful who you associate with even in recovery groups
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
if he is porn/misogyny addicted.,..well "addiction" is a continuously relapsing disease and it is very likely that you will continually relapse over time and continuously find it a mental struggle to abstain or maybe sporadically over time. So you're right, going to recovery does not mean one is recovered that's for sure
@nikhilr2761 Жыл бұрын
@@whitneyw.7919 Then what does that mean you physco?
@alexbozza6139 Жыл бұрын
I’m sorry but the wet toast comment about to me out 🤣
@shawnaaustin3396 2 ай бұрын
My husband is the same way but far worse off with porn. He is white knuckling it now. We started on this porn ridding journey 2 years ago. He has gotten off of it but has latched onto another addiction. I mean it’s not any substance if any sort but still. He is on his laptop all waking hours. Constantly. He has completely shut out me and our family because he thinks he has to have constant entertainment stimulation. He does this to keep his mind off of porn but it is just as bad. He is permanently in a fantasy state to avoid reality. He did see a therapist twice but all he did was blame me and want me to stfu and get over it. And that he doesn’t wish to spend the last remaining years of his life (he is 61) doing this and that he would rather spend it enjoying his life. And now whenever I tell him to go back to a therapist he tells me he already tried that and I had n issue with it. Well yeah I did because he took no personal accountability for his actions.
@2Ryled Ай бұрын
I think she should watch it. See how fast he feels threatened, ignored, disrespected.
@naturalbrunette07 Жыл бұрын
Pastor Tim Ross has great advice from his experience with porn adiction. I believe his testimony would help anyone struggling with this stronghold.
@ImDahDude Жыл бұрын
The basement! Let’s go!
@Angie-nb4pg Жыл бұрын
We love you Dr. John! You’re doing God’s work ❤
@madelenaherrera1919 11 ай бұрын
This is why pornography should be highly regulated..like narcotics. It’s a downward spiral. It’s definitely the “gateway”drug to more deviant behavior.
@user-ri9tt2ip4m 8 ай бұрын
It's already getting out of control with AI. Tons of creeps are creating images with AI that would picture underaged girls ( 11- 15yo) in the explicit manner. But hey, it's "just a fantasy" right? It not real. It's not physical act. Where do we draw the line?
@sarahrobertson634 4 ай бұрын
Males are just so weak.
@DanBorens 2 ай бұрын
That’s unhinged
@sarahrobertson634 2 ай бұрын
@@DanBorensIt shouldn't exist at all.
@michaelmoran2125 26 күн бұрын
Well the Hebrew is about yall are getting porn
@starlingswallow Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry he's struggled with this evil addiction 😢 And I feel sorry for his wife too. Just as an encouragement: my husband used to have an issue with porn and he cried out to God to heal him from it and He did! Having accountability is very helpful, too. Sending up a prayer for you, caller ❤🙏🏻
@DominickSpano Жыл бұрын
I do not think it is an 'evil' addiction. It is just something to overcome like booze or drugs. It isn't 'evil' in my book.
@kikiisabeast2575 Жыл бұрын
@Dominick John Spano Any addiction is evil.. it drains you, takes time away from your life where you can be more productive and causes you to experience such high levels of dopamine for such little effort that the regular activities you used to enjoy become less enjoyable thus leading to depression, it causes you to view the people on the screen as no longer people but tools to gratify your selfishness.. it's pretty close to evil
@john1425 Жыл бұрын
@@DominickSpano a more appropriate word would be "normal" or "harmless" for most people
@DominickSpano Жыл бұрын
@@john1425 I agree. As a single guy at the immediate moment I have desires. We all do. If you satisfy them 30 timed a day sure that is a serious issue. But it is natural and normal.
@jaredandallie1681 Жыл бұрын
I used to think like you but my views have changed. Watching porn is ok and fun. A person who chooses not to view porn isn’t morally superior.
@l-train7876 Жыл бұрын
He’s in denial.
@curiouskittenn Жыл бұрын
This video is amazing
@bswindyx 3 ай бұрын
Sick of It All is such a good band. Cheers from a fellow punk/hardcore kid 🤙🏼
@meows8603 Жыл бұрын
Never will understand people who don't take action or try anything when they know their life is in ruins and everyone tells them they should be changing their behavior and they just don't. It's frustrating dealing with those people.
@TheKiatti Жыл бұрын
It’s because at their core they don’t believe it’s truly a problem for “them”. When someone is truly tired of “insert”, THEY WILL CHANGE IT!
@herfirstmate Жыл бұрын
I use Everaccountable and go to SAA. You don't have to live like that anymore.
@msmissy1744 Жыл бұрын
If he has social media keep an eye on that too because we have ever accountable after battling this for a while then my husband realized he wasn't getting flagged for pornographic stuff on Facebook and just went to town for a couple of months before I noticed him looking at the stuff on Facebook RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. The fact that this happened even with having Ever Accountable for 6 years I think I'm about ready to call it quits. I just can't escape the feeling of deep betrayal and pain. I feel like it will never completely stop and I can't take it anymore. Makes me feel horrible about myself and feel like I don't know this person I fell in love with.
@herfirstmate Жыл бұрын
@@msmissy1744 I'm so sorry to hear this. Is he getting help? He should look into SAA (which is what I'm in) /PA/get a CSAT - something. I know it's hard to believe, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He's just addicted to pornography. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't stand up for what are your boundaries.
@msmissy1744 Жыл бұрын
@@herfirstmate he did sign up for SAA online. I hope he follows through with it though. He also started to watch and read articles on what porn addiction does to the brain and doing some "Helping her heal" program. So he does recognize that it's a problem and I know he loves me but it's tearing me apart. I'm so scared that we'll constantly have to deal with these relapses. We've been to counseling a couple of different times for this and have ever accountable but sometimes I feel like this will never end no matter what we do. I don't know what to do. I feel caught between the feeling of needing to escape to protect myself from this pain or stay because I love him (he's my best friend) and hope and pray it stops.
@matthewmartinez5907 3 ай бұрын
@@msmissy1744praying for you and him. I ask the Heavenly Father to help him break free of the sexual bandage, God I ask you put that in his heart and his mind. I ask that give him the courage to lay his sin down at your feet for healing. God I also ask you to guide his wife and protect her heart over this dark season. In your heavenly name I pray!! I too struggled with porn, then thought I could get away with just looking at women, lustfully. It’s all the same in a sense. I cried out to God and have given it all to him. It hasn’t been hard other than being lonely for me and wanting my wife’s love. We are separated and not intimate. Have been since October so I filled that void with lust, instead of God.
@cess4089 Жыл бұрын
Dr. D. Telling him to just rid of his phone might just encourage him to find it other places. It can unintentionally lead to an escalation. There are so many other ways to access porn. The harder he trying to get ahold of this the more it can slip through his fingers. It’s that slimy. He needs to wash his hands and everybody needs their own soap. Good luck kid. Just don’t give up. Your wife needs to know you’re committed to working on it with or without her. Because you want to be clean. It’s nice to be clean for her. But you need to be clean for you. So pray to know how you need to work on it individually and just never give up. This is not a one fix thing. You can do it.
@TheCatnipCinema 2 ай бұрын
Sometimes the ease of accessing porn makes a massive difference. That could very well be the step he needs.
@arfriedman4577 4 ай бұрын
I do agree he should have told his wife before marriage.
@rachelmelendez9255 Жыл бұрын
Yeah he doesn't want to change too much work for him been the way for that one
@rachelgee7894 Жыл бұрын
I'm from st George, ride your bike down snow canyon or along the trail parallel to the road from dammeron valley to St George. It's thrillingly gorgeous.
@JakeStewart1343 3 ай бұрын
I'm a SL,UT native and love riding my bike on the Provo River trail. 😎
@aquaa75 3 ай бұрын
0:16 well we got peter parker 😂😂
@wilcoxtam810 4 ай бұрын
A man who struggles with porn shouldn't be in a relationship. It's unfair on any woman. Porn use doesn't allow you to be present mentally, psychologically, sexually, physically, or spiritually. Everything.
@neechee5150 Ай бұрын
Do you hold women who use porn to the same standards? Women tend to get treated with much more compassion and leniency when it is the woman who is the porn viewer.
@ASofterSide 2 ай бұрын
Porn addiction is another way to “Escape” and not deal with their issues.
@carissaexplainsitall8481 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes I feel alone. Women have the temptation too. I have overcome it but I used to have a porn issue too
@3Augustin3 3 ай бұрын
Needed this
@TheCatnipCinema 2 ай бұрын
Me too
@boroben9548 Ай бұрын
It’s not as easy to substitute your addiction with something good. It usually results in something else that’s not necessarily good to take the place of your addiction. Eating is a common thing. Porn gives a release of endorphins so it’s about finding something else that makes you feel good to take it’s place. Preferably something that is also good for you.
@TrayneTracks Ай бұрын
Almost every guy does it. Married or not. Either hide it from your wife or tell her that’s your choice.
@BrownEyedGirl56 2 ай бұрын
It’s not in the past if it’s still going on
@dr.sue_n 3 ай бұрын
Internet is a major curse for relationships! Also boys need to be educated about the harms of masturbation and porn since their teenage days, instead of normalising it, so they don't ruin their own life and later their partner's
@justinsmith4618 4 ай бұрын
Porn is a nasty addiction. Its on going to be a massive isssue as millennials and gen z folks are seeking relationships. Having porn at your finger tips is like having access to self replicating cocaine.
@hurricane_valence 11 ай бұрын
This guy is playing the victim just but down the god damn porn this is ridiculous what a weak procrastinating man his killing his wife she deserves someone better
@kattwin1 10 ай бұрын
Preach John. Preach. 4:00 +
@leapinglaura7343 9 ай бұрын
I'm so relieved. I'd heard 3 horrible calls of John's today, with advice that endangered the guy imo, but this was great! Terrific! Note perfect! I don't gotta break up with him after all :))
@TheCatnipCinema 2 ай бұрын
People give up way too easily. You can see in the comments most people say "Just break up. Do it now." kind of thing. Faithfulness is not just a one way street. And it's not just regarding sex.
@jessyG4311 4 ай бұрын
This exact thing happened to me. My husband was dishonest about his pornography habits and I found out after we were married. I was very forthcoming that I didn’t want to be with someone that struggled with it. I see a lot of women in the comments talking about how it’s a similar situation to them, and they divorced. I decided not to leave. Despite it hurting me very deeply and causing a huge issue in our marriage. For years we struggled with this, his reoccurring use, my insecurities that were crippling.. But we didn’t walk away, we didn’t give up. I have never seem a husband more devoted and loyal than my own. I stayed with him in his darkness; I loved him, I sat in the deep dark hole with him. Did I think about leaving a lot, yes of course. But I needed to remove that I was the “victim of this” and he was the perpetrator of it. He was always a victim of a horrid industry from a very young age. He was addicted, and ashamed. He didn’t do it, and then act happy about it. There was always deep shame and remorse accompanied by it. Rather than shaming these men, walking away and telling them they’re unworthy… love them. It’s different if it continues with no remorse, with no willingness to change or if there is a situation where he thinks it’s acceptable or blames you. But women, examine how youre reacting too.. says a lot about you.
@fishjohn014 4 ай бұрын
I don't think women fully appreciate the ridiculous levels of hormones that men have. I agree that it's not good, but I really don't think you'd be concerned about your marriage if you understood WHY us men do this. Imagine having 1000 mosquito bites and not scratching a single one until they healed. And then doing that day after day after day. Men don't "scratch" because they aren't happy or don't love. We do it because we literally carry around two pingpong balls full of intensively powerful hormones. I totally agree that it's a terrible habit and shouldn't be apart of a marriage, but don't think that there's anything emotional or romantic about it. It's purely mechanical. Sure it's a lack of self control and morally wrong, but it's really shouldn't be suprising. A good rule of thumb is that your typical man has about 10-20x the libido in comparison to a typical woman.
@saundracohen4032 4 ай бұрын
You cannot tell someone how to react and respond to betrayal and violations.
@Rosieblue111 4 ай бұрын
My ex fiancé went on to view CP. His addiction has spiralled so bad it was the only thing that ‘worked’ for him he’d become so desensitised. I was 5 months pregnant at the start of lockdown when he was arrested for it. No one had a clue what he was up to, not me, his family or friends. There’s no way I could stay with someone who’d some that, who’d lied and done something so cruel and despicable. What does that say about me then? If that works for you and you’re prepared to stand by your husband then that’s your choice. I wish you all the best, but you don’t get to tell other women how to act in this situation.
@saundracohen4032 4 ай бұрын
@Rosieblue111 Completely agree. So sorry this happened. You are so strong.
@jessyG4311 4 ай бұрын
@@Rosieblue111 …. Watching CP and my situation is extremely different. My husband violated my vows, not the law. I’d never advocate for anyone to condone or accept that type of behaviour and content. I’d call the police myself. I really don’t understand how you even drew a similarity to these situations. However, women want to encourage others to leave spouses when porn addiction is discovered and yet when a women says… maybe try staying the response is “don’t tell other women how to respond”.
@memyfriendspodcast7617 3 ай бұрын
My brother's. My dudes. I so promise you, going without porn is like you never knew it. Find a partner, be Honest, Open minded and Willing (HOW) and you'll wana save yourself for you, and no one else
@J.LopezTrujillo 11 күн бұрын
It happened to me a month in my marriage. I caught him twice and went through his phone. Doesn't change
@Chartlaub5 2 ай бұрын
Everyone is sitting here trying to throw this man under the bus for admitting to have a problem. There are many things that go the other way too. Their partners and at least they are talking about it. All these keyboard Warriors would have everyone break up with everyone.
@sabrinasinara785 2 ай бұрын
Same with my husband, he lied to me. I married him unaware of his addiction and ok, he says he did put a stop on it. But how can I trust his word on that? I told him clearly that porn was a big no for me and he guaranteed he wouldn’t watch it at all. After we married I found out even in our great honeymoon days he was on porn looking for blondes and older women, which totally differ from me. Well, well, in the depths of my heart I just wish I could run or disappear. These men nowadays are lost, but I could care less if I was not married to one of them. You like prostitutes and lust, embrace yourself and go to hell with them. I am so depressed to know my 4 months marriage was build in a lie.
@EM-KeepingtheFaith Жыл бұрын
Ok. So porn ruined the trust, sense of safety and my sexual self worth in my past marriage. Every now and again I'd get the "confession talk" that was going to knife-edge in the heart. I was too nieve then, but this time in my present relationship I made my beautiful fella SWEAR that if he ever "slipped and indulged" that he could confession to anyone (God/mate ect) but NEVER BURDEN ME WITH THE KNOWLEDGE. Its his private business and I'll trust assume he's not doing anything! I don't want access to a grown man's computer/phone. The agony of finding out has gone. Men cannot comprehend the pain of this for women, the sense of betrayal and your sense of worthlessness to hear your man is lasting after young perfect women. He is so respectful of me around other women. I have nothing but peace now, and my sexuality has slowly been restored. Men, shut the hell up. Don't dump it on her shoulders or do it where it is possible for her to discover your betrayal of her.
@neechee5150 Ай бұрын
@EM-KeepingtheFaith said "Men cannot comprehend the pain of this for women, the sense of betrayal and your sense of worthlessness to hear your man is lasting after young perfect women" Do you think that it hurts men any less when their wife/gf uses porn on a daily basis? Do you think that men are any less betrayed by their wife/GF using porn? Do you think that women comprehend the pain they cause their BF/husbands when the wife/gf is using porn? Very rarely do women recieve the same level of condemnation for doing the exact same bad thing as a man. YOu see this all the time when women have affairs. The first thing they do is to blame the man for not doing X,Y and Z or doing A, B or C. Where as when men cheat women just want to punish him and whether literally or figuratively castrate him
@paulagillette3346 2 ай бұрын
Addiction destroys you and your entire family
@MiamiChica 3 ай бұрын
It might be nothing for him, but for her it could be trauma. Trauma comes in different forms to people, and people should not just invalidate it as “the past.” It’s insensitive.
@KelleyBroussardMackaig Жыл бұрын
Jeez - at least he came to her and was open about it... When my husband was struggling with porn addiction, he'd hide it, lie about it and would even get upset with me if there was no way for him to deny it. I hope she can cut him some slack, and I really hope he can find some peace.
@abbyw6830 Жыл бұрын
She has been sexually abused by him why should she be cutting him slack? She is the injured party NOT him she gets to decide I hope she leaves him they hardly ever change...
@TheThotWhisperer Жыл бұрын
@@abbyw6830 sexually abused????
@manifest2203 Жыл бұрын
Being honest is not enough in some cases.
@karaa7595 Жыл бұрын
@@abbyw6830 you can tell this guy isn't going to change. He's just going to use it as another piece of evidence to provide his wife with that he's TRYING to change. Someone who is dedicated to overcoming a sexual addiction is willing to live in an empty room with as many accountability partners as it takes for however long it takes, to quit living as a sex addict.
@sbentsen2714 Жыл бұрын
I second that 👍🏼
@stanford513 4 ай бұрын
This guy needs to let his wife go, leave the LDS church, leave Utah, and create the life he truly wants. I feel bad for him.
@rebeccaoprea9917 Жыл бұрын
When we lack connection we seek substances or substitutes.
@whitneyw.7919 Жыл бұрын
There's a lot of addicts who have connection. On contrary, addiction often ensures lack of connection
@kristabistaify Жыл бұрын
Wow!!!!!!
@sydoly123 9 ай бұрын
Addiction is an escape hatch, started as a distracting activity that brought pleasure over pain or discomfort, they let it become a habit that turned into a compulsive obsessive disorder for some. Some people don't want or have a difficult time to deal with a void, uncomfortable emotions. Often they have a hard time with self love and self acceptance or miss understand what self love/ acceptance means. Men are very visual and sexual, so when their brain is looking for pleasure over pain, that they need to distract themselves of reality , responsibility, fantasy/ porn is a very accessible and often free platform to boost their dopamine. Many men still love their wife dearly and have great relationships but still succumb to the temptation of lust.
@user-ri9tt2ip4m 8 ай бұрын
You made a typo in "we have an unresolved pain and trauma, so we turn to escapism in a form of substance and porn instead of facing uncomfortable emotions"
@Games-is7qw 4 ай бұрын
I dont have a problem with porn last time I watch a video is like z16 years ago but is so hard when you ask your wife for sex and she does not give it the importance no matter how much you tell her you need sex nothing happens don’t know what to do anymore
@Shaolin91z 4 ай бұрын
That is the beauty of being single. When they start withholding intimacy.. easier to replace
@JakeStewart1343 3 ай бұрын
9:55 Utah doesn't have Academy, but we have Dick's sporting goods. If Dicks triggers his addiction he can go to Big 5 sporting goods instead. 🤷♂️
@alyross2850 9 ай бұрын
The Bible tells us exactly how to deal with this. If your right hand offends you, cut it off. It is better to lose that hand than keep letting it offend. Something like that. So it’s no more internet away from work. You have to be willing to do that.
@kekejefferson9219 Жыл бұрын
But why didn't the wife have the child lock on his phone and all devices. Then watch the bank charges and keep his schedule busy.
@CJ2023Incognito Жыл бұрын
Because she isn’t his mother, he is a grown man and needs to take initiative.
@Black_Samurai-fish Жыл бұрын
They don’t work at all. Easy to get around.
@Mags106 2 ай бұрын
Because it doesnt work
@eleanorwalmsley635 Ай бұрын
His wife is not the police
@weakweek85 4 ай бұрын
Some men need a push. Not making excuses for this guy. But sometimes only hearing your wife give you advice doesn’t seem to do much for a guy. But having a fellow man, talk sense to him might lead to some change. Hope this guy turns it around. And then hugs his wife and never lets her go after she forgives him, provided she sees real change.
@Rich-en8rn 3 ай бұрын
Because women NEVER forget!
@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 Жыл бұрын
ADHD meds for impulse control + the Fight The New Drug app
@letgabeequaltrue9097 Жыл бұрын
The guy should change his name to Ronald Jeremiah and his wife will accept him.
@abbyw6830 Жыл бұрын
The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire is a good place to start.
@whalesnamedshark Жыл бұрын
I picked up a musical instrument to help and distract from alcohol
@PeppermintPat 2 күн бұрын
My hubby watches porn and I have no problem with it. If anything it helps me out cause my s-drive is lower than his! 😅😅 Been married 14 years and we're very happy, no trust issues whatsoever cause no-one has to hide anything.
@CoradosCorded3strands Жыл бұрын
Join every man’s battle group. Or do the book with someone from church. Good for her to read too
@rabrubaker296 Жыл бұрын
I have learned this book is horrible. I used to rely on it, too. But many Men don't have that much trouble and the objectification of women in the book is really nasty.
@aneatrice28 Жыл бұрын
Is this cheating?
@Kinglore2000 Жыл бұрын
Here's the riddle Why bother to get help for this, if to the wife, it's not going to change anything, and she'll still be angry at you?
@blueseptember2174 Жыл бұрын
You want to be of decent moral character or get deeper into more perversions?
@ineedhoez Жыл бұрын
You aren't doing it for her. You are doing it for you. The caller said HE had a problem with watching porn because it violated his values. If you feel that what you are doing cool, then let her know. She can choose to stay or leave. You don't get a pass for lying to her about who your past and then pretending to fix the issue.
@staleydu1 Жыл бұрын
Are you serious? Why? Because wherever he goes, he’ll go with himself. He’s worth recovery, sobriety. He’s worth not believing every bad thing about himself.
@manifest2203 Жыл бұрын
It is not about “not making the wife angry”. You don’t have to be that scared of it. The point is to resolve the issue at hand and find solutions from a sense of transparency.
@saintgianni Жыл бұрын
I understand the frustration angle of this question but this is the issue: women don’t want to fix or work with men but men need to be open and vulnerable with a plan of action already initiated. If you’re just gonna sit there and feel sorry for yourself without plan for change or adjustment, she’s not gonna feel secure after her flurry of questions. Women, stop beating up your men. Men, hold yourself to a higher standard so women don’t have to do it for you.
@CG-MP 25 күн бұрын
she "won't let go of your past porn issues" because they aren't past issues, dude.
@bettyrodriguez6473 19 күн бұрын
🙌😂👏 FACTS!
@mimimonster Жыл бұрын
Ugh. People in Utah and their addictions to everything that isn’t alcohol or drugs. Hope he can replace the behavior with a good way to self medicate of this is harming his marriage. Great advice from Dr. John.
@sethkearl8056 Жыл бұрын
What do you mean by “their addictions”. Are those outside of Utah not addicted to non-alcohol/drugs vices? Sounds like a. Over generalization statement to me.
@mimimonster Жыл бұрын
@@sethkearl8056 I grew up in the Mormon community and lived in Utah for 10 yrs. Yes, it is a generalizaron of that community that is actually supported by statistics and data. People living Utah and in the Mormon community especially know what I’m talking about. The community usually have addiction issues unique to their community. I shouldn’t said Mormon but didn’t want to call them out, but since you asked. If you’re from Utah, Mormon or not, they’ll know what I was talking about.
@sethkearl8056 Жыл бұрын
@@mimimonster yes, please share the source of the statistics.
@michaelamarie4288 Жыл бұрын
Porn addiction is not unique to Utah.
@LackaJudgment Жыл бұрын
First he wears a Social D shirt to work, and now a Sick Of It All shirt? Dr. John’s music taste is as great as his life advice!
@acomment5991 Жыл бұрын
Do men just walk around thinking of sex all day every day? Serious question.
@nullavitasinemusica1 Жыл бұрын
Yeah
@sarahalderman3126 Жыл бұрын
Yep
@therealsapdad1942 6 ай бұрын
Yes
@funicon3689 4 ай бұрын
of course! how have you lasted this long on the planet and not figured this out yet?? that is wild imo.
@Shaolin91z 4 ай бұрын
Of course not 🤡
@foundationofthought7155 Ай бұрын
You don't actually have an issue. But let's just create problems. Nothing better to do
@DominickSpano Жыл бұрын
As a single guy the issue is that porn is in a sense extremely readily available. I am 37. When I was a teenager really the only porn available was Playboy. Now it is in the palm of your hands at all times. I have gotten into porn a little to much at times. I think all single guys have to be candid. He is married, but whatever have you. IDK porn clearly isn't as good as the real thing. Shy away from it, at least curb it. I know it isn't that easy.
@thematrix3663 Жыл бұрын
This is a spiritual issue. He needs deliverance.
@tyleralger6083 Жыл бұрын
I wouldn’t say just shy away from it, I’d say shun it. It ruins relationships and families
@DominickSpano Жыл бұрын
@@tyleralger6083 I don't disagree but I am a single man with an intense job at the immediately moment on a low budget and no time to date. End of long PhD program. I am not sticking up for porn for sure, but it isn't the worst thing ever for guy like to watch it every once and again.
@blueseptember2174 Жыл бұрын
@@DominickSpano you fix it now or when you get married it'll rear it's ugly head in your future nuptials and will ruin a marriage(just like this guy)
@rabrubaker296 Жыл бұрын
There's a need in your heart . Get professional therapy, as soon as possible. Do not play this off.
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