This gave me much insight into a relationship I was in. I am ending it, it is impossible.

Thank you professor. Your lectures are fantastic. The best way to spend the little time I have for myself. I really don't like the psychology schools here in the US. I've learned far more from you.

Thank you so very much for this lecture. I now know why the person we counseled would not change. It’s that he couldn’t lose his arrogance because it is part of what makes him, him. I guess the outbursts of anger stem from narcissism and not specifically from the arrogance which is actually a “symptom”. I love your channel; it’s like being back in college and attending your favorite class!

Thank you. My ex fiancé latched onto an 80 year old lady who was a mother figure to me the day after I broke off the engagement. My fiancé would not go to church with me or my group Bible study and now her and the 80 year old are in a mother daughter Bible Study together. Everyone in my group says God is going to heal her🙄. I have tried to explain to this group which I have been in for 20 years that it doesn’t work that way and I am now viewed as the bad person. She has went after other friends of mine and has managed to hang onto some of them. She has created a lot of damage in my life and made me feel almost like isolating myself. The boyfriend before me and the one after me are now friends with me and they confirm her actions of narcissism even though they didn’t know what her problem was but they now do. These people are monsters!

Vulnerable women revisit to punish themselves. To bask in the dangerous non specific place that is offered to them, thinking that maybe they will be the one to tame the uncommitted. It’s not a heartfelt space it’s possibly unresolved trauma. There is no “way in” for change just a vast space that is decorated in maybes, almost’s and could be’s. Each time you self batter. Reducing yourself into yet another unnamed game. Starting from scratch each time as if nothing has been previously shared between the union. The need for being seen goes unnoticed because there will always be “another”. Another that will tantalise with their veil of perfection. As they search and search they leave debris. Excusing cold behaviour as uncertainty. The other is too much, too demanding, not quite evolved. Throughout the new search previous ties are never broken. Freedom doesn’t come because the desire to remain bonded in any capacity doesn’t allow others to move on. Grow. Letting go isn’t permitted and the means to draw you back in with ambiguous stories and bold statements means the link continues. But it’s a jaded link. An unnecessary reunion that renders you stuck. Repeating and rehashing the nothingness that unveils. No change. No direction. Just enough to imagine or reimagine that there’s something in the union that may flourish. The freedom of letting go is rich in reality. Rich in realising fully what is and what is not. No longer do you hope or idealise you simply see, feel and understand the subtleties - that invisible thread that leaves you perpetually trapped. Breaking free is cathartic. Forgiving is freedom. And then your released from tardy bonds and imagined connections. Reaching this point is when you experience self love and eventual freedom. A space where your once disorientated heart, finally acknowledges authentic honesty and you lovingly begin to trust your worth again.

Thank you for these wonderful videos! I don't know which I enjoy more -- the valuable insights you impart for the benefit of those of us who have been victims of Narcissistic abuse in our personal lives, or your interjections of humor. Thank you for making this distressing subject matter a little more palatable, and, even, funny!

I have your book, and I have devoured probably close to 50 lectures in the past 6 months. Thank you. I, as an undiagnosed, cluster b with strong borderline tendencies, have absorbed and learned so much from your lectures. The information that has been passed on to me via your videos has helped me more than anything else ever has. I have just once again gone no contact with the narcissist, and am tenaciously clinging to all of this new knowledge and understanding in order to stay with it. I also watch a lecture a day to help me as well. Today however, is a bad day in other ways. Today for me, is one of those days when I could honestly say that, "This pain I am feeling in my heart today, is what makes self harmers harm. What makes cutters cut, as I did as a pre teen. It is the type of day that is a full realization of what it truly means to have no emotional skin. It is no wonder that so many borderlines commit suicide. It is one of those days.

Dr. Sam, Thank you for clearing up and clarifying something so pervasive we've been kept ignorant of in your own analytical, insightful, educational with a twinkle of arch humor way.

Fascinating

Im narcissist and have some inshight but fear of even consider change is paralising.

So many insights ❤

Great video but try not to forget that there is a middle ground of people needing help but not necessarily being considered 'unhealthy'. This is usually the problem with the mental health industry, especially in my life. thank you

AGH! Where's Minnie? Did you discard her? ;)

Thank you. It hurts. I wish so much better for my father. I wish so much better for myself. I will always miss him i will always do not miss him.

Very useful and good timing for a current conundrum I'm considering thank you as always

Excellent video. Thank you Dr./Professor Vaknin.

Thank you Samaharishi, this was quite the knot you've undone there in under 20 minutes, exquisitely so i must say. I really appreciate it.

That was insightful 👌

Thank you Prof. Vaknin. Incredibly insightful, as always. ❤️

Thank you 🙏🏻

Love and respect from İstanbul ✨🍀❤️🤘💐🖤🪐

I love Your sens o humor Professor ❤

I ❤️ Vaknin

"Here"s looking at you Sam" from the movie Casablanca We'll always have Paris ...❤

Oops.. "Play it again Sam" ... "Here's looking at you kid!" ❤👍💋

My question is how do I get my narcissist husband to get a job, move out of the basement, and sign divorce papers. He just plays the victim and won’t leave.

Thanks. Explains the narcissists in my life.

If insight doesn't work because they can't have access to their positive emotions. Then insights that trigger negative emotions should work ?

Does all this apply to covert narcs?

...to paraphrase the title: prof. Vaknin, why do you think that "healthy people," the people with inner dynamic world, do not need the help? When it comes to explanations, somehow I am able to see clearer the inner world (mine or somebody else's) through your deductions. I would like if you dedicate the future lectures to connections between the emotions and their transformations into actions in a process of changing the self. Although you claimed that the narcissists cannot modify their inner world, I really do believe that there is a bridge between high intelligence with the true intentions and somebody else's inner landscape.

Where is Minnie?

So Insight Is Only One Of The Ingredients Needed To Transform One's Character For The Better. We Need Other Factors And Maybe An X Factor As Well.

Word... Thats science, a meeting with the objects, their causal relations. Since narcissism(and the lower levels of it) has become open respectable, welcome in society parts (mass media support)... as the posing consumer, competetive workspace hero, very productive to serve the value machines nonstop hunger. Very interesting inviction, motivation, habit, circumstance overlaps. The being driven, black hole, value ranking fetish kick. Welcome to the game...! The parents friends, teachers+ dream(with boundaries, humanism or less). As the 'subculture'/intellectual selfcritical scenes were partial (re)entered by shallow, exreme hedonistic poser victimhood heros, it got much more accepted, or seen as "the human nature". And ableist is nowadays another defense option for 'the right person'. The more shallow, the less responsible. So better train your bias, forget efficient. "Its your right, your identity! There is nothing true to know. Everything is just an idea... The better defended and stronger implemented idea wins!" And so on.

Healthy patients do need help