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Infjs are like human brain wave scanners 😊 with a narcissistic blind spot. Speaking from experience.

I personally do energy reads off of people's voices. I pick up particularly on inappropriate emotions. A creepy example would be of the predator who was trying to lure a child into a van with a puppy. My ear would pick up an intense interest in the voice of the predator that showed too much investment for the situation. Even as a child INFJ, I was always working to discern motivations in people and I would have been wondering why is it apparently so important to this person that I pet this guy's puppy? As an adult I think, this dog owner should be trying to protect the puppy from children who might not be gentle enough or might provoke the dog into nipping, not trying to appeal to the curiosity of a kid. I had an uncle who was one of those 'leg pullers' types who was always telling stories to see if he could get us kids to be fooled. My emotional read told me that it wasn't just playful, all in fun, that he had some other, more humiliating motive. I never bought into the stories but I always looked like I was considering the truth of what he was saying. Which wasn't true. I was trying to figure out his motive for trying to make a fool out of me. Even as a child I couldn't understand why he would be intentionally trying to ruin the natural trust I would have had in him. That, I never came up with a good answer for. But he was never someone I trusted. P.S. When I listen to mainstream news, all I can hear is inappropriate emotional clues that are signalling me how they want me to think and feel about something. Which is why I stopped watching them a long time ago - it's sooooo irritating. I'm more confused as to how other people don't hear what I hear and just go along with people who are clearly out to manipulate. Now I only see those MSM stories where the 'facts' they present are being debunked elsewhere.

This is spot on. I'm an INFJ and I ended up working for a narcissistic boss (awful experience -- 10/10 do not recommend.) It took me awhile to understand why it happened; see, I saw the signs, the inconsistencies between their narrative and actions... but it was familiar. It was comfortable. Now, over a year out, I recognize that this person was exactly like my parents. It's so important to learn yourself so you can avoid these pitfalls!

I'm now 67 year old. I was in a 22 year relationship form 26 to 48. I now understand that he was a complete narcissist. It was years of agony - but I just wanted to make my relationship work. When I FINALLY stopped playing into his games - he ended the relationship - but I'm very sure now he played that hand thinking I would buckle yet again. I've only found out about all this INFJ stuff in the last 5 years. And while the memories of those painful times have not gone away - I can honestly say that it has made me feel much better about myself and life in general to FINALLY UNDERSTAND what it was all about and that it was no JUST ME that has gone through these things. Honestly - I wish I could have known and understood all this many years ago - but I have great relief even knowing now because I can finally understand it. Thank you for doing videos like these so people can finally - at the very least - heal.

I'm an INFJ who had a rage-a-holic father. I was so afraid of marrying someone with overt anger issues like my dad, I married a man who was a passive-aggressive covert narcissist like my mother - warm and friendly on the surface and ice cold underneath. Took me decades to figure out how I made that mistake.

My first partner was a narcissist, I met him when I was 18 and stayed with him for 5 years, after two years I knew that something was wrong but I was too young and naive to cut him off. At the end I had no friends/family, no tertiary qualification and I was working 10 hours everyday while he stayed at home gaslighting me and stole away my self-confidence. When I finally cut him out of my life, I swore to myself that I don’t need any man in my life and was just going to focus on my career. However I came across a guy and I kept pushing him away and said all the harsh words that I could think of…but he kept coming, and he waited. He waited and stood in my shadow until I recovered. Now I am married to that guy and we have children, we do still have arguments and one time during an argument I asked him, “Do you even still love me?” He didn’t even think to answer “YES, why do you even think that we are having an argument?” …. We both didn’t know anything about MBTI until a few years ago, but apparently I am an INFJ and he is an ENTP. While he isn’t very good coming up with gift ideas or saying comforting words to me and the kids, he doesn’t lie and he always attempts to “physically fix” everything that worries us (which doesn’t work most of the time) but he has a genuine soul which is the main reason why I love him so much. Before we got married we dated for 7years and during that time we helped each other, by supporting our career and with our family dramas, now I am 40 and our kids are happy, we are doing good financially and we still care for each other - parenting isn’t easy for me as an INFJ especially because we have two boys and one with ADHD, but my husband (through many disagreements) tries all he can to be a good father, it doesn’t matter how effective his parenting skills are, I am grateful to have met someone who tries because it means a world to me. I still have upsetting dreams about my ex even now, I dream that I am still stuck in that horrible situation, which is why I felt the need to search about my personality and came across this channel. So thank you, it is comforting to hear that I am not some weird, people pleasing, dreamer and a hypocrite. 😊

Accuracy is also dependent on one's own level of our own inner self development of how we recognize we lie to oneself.

Absolutely but we also mirror behavior I had to learn that mirroring bad behavior hurts oneself worse …. But life is a journey right ?

This explanation is sooo good. We scan to make sure we're safe with this person and I totally relate to reading that someone's energy is discordant. What they are saying or doing doesn't match their energy.

we are picking up on the incoherence but as a child there was no other choice but to stay, same in adulthood, sometimes that's the best choice we have. We still totally see it, know it, but choose to focus on other things. We accept things the way they are. People misunderstand this as "not picking up on it". I could tell you a lot...

I think this is because narcissists believe their own lies. Their narcissism is an ego defense mechanism which makes them believe that they are always right in order to protect them. HG Tudor here on you tube explains it really well with many real life examples.

Mercy ~ My earliest memories are 'reading' people. Such intuition is a burden for a small child. And my dad was temperamental. I had to 'read' him all the time. So what you said about narcissists...ouch. My relationship with my long term partner, an extreme narcissist, has felt comfortable. In trying to understand myself, I actually came to that conclusion, but I couldn't believe it...couldn't believe myself. So, thank you for this outside confirmation. Time for a change.

You are spot on.

spot on, love!

As INFJ i seems to be able to read others even if they didnt say it

Energetic coherence... 👌

Thank you. That explains my perception of things, in a general way. Be safe and blessed.🙏🕊

We are not one, we are many. Our brain is on all the time. Taking max info from surroundings. Also comparing data from past communication to have the base, then taking all data and building preposition of conduct, possible results, constantly checking truth/lie. Trying to conclude why, purpose, and motives. We are on the ground 100%, we are in control of our surroundings perpetually building the future from the past, planning solutions for problems that may happen... Madness I say, madness...

Have been looking for you, totally feel like I can level up with your channel! I hit such a dead spot in my growth, thank you!!! Subscribing now!

Tone of voice, facial expressions and body language don't match. The lips don't match the eyes.

Thank you so much again Lauren, you really help me to understand myself. & I love the way you explain things.

I’m halfway through the video and I’m like… where’s the new information? Then I realize that this is the information and I didn’t realize because I thought everyone did this haha.

@LaurenSapalaINFJ - Lauren, this is an absolutely brilliant explanation. Thank you!

We just know things. I've also had clairvoyant episodes but like Cassandra, nobody listened to me and they suffered the consequences. Not very INFJ to relate this, I know.

I do have an interesting alternative thought on why we don’t pick up on narcicist s. It ties into your core theory… I believe we miss narcicist because they are in coherence such that they are internally selfish, they talk selfish, and so selfish things. Thus they have coherence but in negative direction and we miss it because we are usually looking for coherence in general and most have learned to associate coherence with good without taking into account the type of coherence. So we miss narcissists basically in plain site… we see coherence and assume to be coherent they must be good- we usually don’t experience negative coherence until adulthood. Or atleast don’t understand how to interpret it until we are older Would love your thoughts?

I agree with all you said apart of narcisists. Or as i prefer to call them, psychopaths. The reason we don’t feel discordances is that they don’t have emotions. So there’s nothing to pick up there energetically.

As a matter of fact, our Ni is connecting the dots 24/7. So we immediately know when things don't add up. ☘☘

Yes, you just 'know', in an instant and it's strange others don't. It doesn't even necessarily raise hackles, it's just a part of a picture. The trouble IS the narcissist - a husband who was and then a partner - aka a LARGE chunk of my life. Add to this, is if you've grown up with that, you're probably co-dependent or something similar. So you "read" it...and then you start reacting to it *eye roll* I find now it does make being around people generally SO exhausting. It's always puzzled me why I DIDN'T know, as I'm good at reading people. Realising it's about childhood and what feels "normal" or even "safe" is such a relief of an explanation. Thanks for great insight!

How funny. I just did a video in this myself. I definitely relate to the energy vibe reading and "coherence." Enjoyed the video. Take care.

My first husband was a narcissist and I never saw it coming. I have often wondered why I was so blind about him, but this video helps. I am a single INFJ and want to date again, but it strikes me as terrifying ! Met a man I like & am getting channeled info on him in dreams. I had the nerve to tell him & he was open to it, but no contact since 🙈

That familiarity is possibly that you're dealing with a soul you know before. In my understanding of eastern belief, it's said we meet the same souls over and over again. I've been fooled by covert narcissists several times for many years at a time, but before I was aware like now. We can't ignore the red flags. People that lie are the absolute lowest, least liked on my list. I find them all cowards.

My intuition can be good.

Narcissist know how to feel familiar and set your ass up so quick

Heh. Creativity checks from leading questions. Even prepared lies show laps when questioned at deeper strata, or lateral relevance. Let em talk, till they chip a tooth on their toenail. Walk away as if knowing none the wiser. Just to lure their confidence.

INFJ's are like a professional poker player on steroids.

Because its like firing a flare gun. We can see it from miles away.

5:36 truthbomb 🤯

💫

Body language. Tone of voice. Biggest is the old eye balls. Lie all you want. I might call you out or maybe not. Your choice. My mood.

Tone of voice, facial expression and body language don't match. The lips don't match the eyes.

🤦🏻‍♂️