Spreadsheet: the kids should not be involved or informed about parents’ finances or their relationship or anything. However, if the dad is misrepresenting/lying and affecting the relationship the kids have with their mom, it’s completely different. Does it sound extreme that she whipped out a spreadsheet? Maybe, but if she had just said, that’s not true, it might not hold weight with the kids, and they might have believed the dad. So I think the mom made the best choice in a crummy situation.

Surprise Marriage: they weren’t even engaged and he planned a whole wedding. Dude was very confident. She was right to walk away from it.

Righting lies about yourself isn't "tough parenting", it's being honest. If the kids can throw it in her face she can respond. Dad opened the door & he can deal with the consequences. Parents are human and they don't belong on a pedestal.

the only "surprise" weddings I've heard of is couples that are already engaged throw engagement parties and its a wedding as a surprise for the guests but obviously the two people getting married are AWARE that they're getting married, like had that been the convo it would've been fine

Sam- instead of feeling sad that your friend’s kid wouldn’t want to hug you; instead reframe it (for both yourself and the child) as “I’m really proud of you for setting boundaries regarding your body, and It makes me feel good that you are comfortable enough with me to tell me how you feel, because I love you and would never want to make you uncomfortable”. 😉

Spread sheet: what the father is doing is called parental alienation she needs to nip it in the bud before the kids she's primarily caring for start to dislike like her or start being little aholes towards her for no reason

Showing the spreadsheet was honestly the best thing she could've done. If she just said it wasn't true then they wouldn't know who is lying, just that one of them is so they can't trust either parent. Having records and receipts available to look through keeps everyone honest and the facts straight.

It is impossible to overstate how important it is for kids to be allowed to set their own boundaries. Making kids hug people to avoid social awkwardness is grooming. People don’t like to think about it but it is DANGEROUS to teach kids to “just do it.” That’s how you teach kids to accept sexual abuse. I got my master’s social worker degree in this and studied it in undergrad. I am also a survivor of CSA with social work experience working with other survivors. It is the most important thing to teach your child if you want your children to be safe and if you don’t want them to be a source for predators. It is a direct freaking correlation.

I have seen what parents lying to their kids does later in life. If the mom just takes it and it make the kids look down on her. It can ruin the relationship with the parent that was actually there for them.

The hugging story...respecting kid's limits is so easy. My best friend very much supports her kids voicing boundaries. When I'm leaving, I start by asking for a hug and, sure, I'm devastated when they tell me no. So I'll ask for a high five. If they tell me no, then I say "okay I'm gonna hug mommy bye and I'll wave goodbye to you" and that's exactly what I do and i almost always get a wave goodbye. Her oldest said no to hugs until she was about five, but now she does because I respected her when she was little

The dad involved the kids, if you have to lie to make yourself look better by claiming to be the parent who’s providing all funds knowing your two months behind of child support your trash. The mom was just explaining how money works. No time like the present to learn about spread sheets and how to be fiscally responsible cuz their father sure isnt

Vacation vs Brother's Wedding: I feel like OP was never going to be a bridesmaid. The fact that her soon-to-be SIL knew Becky and OP were the same size for the dress makes me think that the "recent" development between Becky and SIL were close from the start. Because why couldn't she have Becky AND OP as bridesmaids? Also, it took OP two years to save up to get the dress, and once OP finally paid for it, now she's being demoted AND is being told to give the dress to Becky because she couldn't afford it? It seems like SIL was waiting for OP to get the dress and then give it to Becky. I would tell OP to talk to Becky directly about it and see what's up.

About the boyfriend going on holiday with the two women, after the girl tried to kiss him she literally admitted to the gf that he never said his gf doesn’t feel comfortable with them talking and kept the fact that they were still talking from his gf. Regardless of whether he’s cheater he’s still a liar, so I see why she wouldn’t trust him to stay overnight with two women. Plus she’s only saw the texts, phone calls exist 🤷🏽‍♀️

Has any one mentioned that just because the food was thrown away the smell isn't gonna magically vanish

That wedding one was horrible. That bride should be ashamed of herself for treating her sister in law that way.

With the spreadsheet story, I think it is okay to tell the truth and prove it. Correct the lie while keeping your feelings/option about the other parent to yourself.

SPreadsheet; I'm a child of a lying, manipulative father, and i'm on mama's side. The kids are old enough that their brains are constantly moving. In my situation, he lied about everything and made me hate my moma with lies and just bs. My moma did the same thing, not a spread sheet but made it clear, and yea you're mad in the moment, but it was the best thing she ever did for me. I'd respectfully disagree that kids should only be treated as an adult after 18, because that's years of lies and hidng, and to have the truth come out at 18, me personally, i'd feel 10000x more betrayed. After 12/13, you need to be honest. because again for me personally, he threw out such insane lies, my mental and physical safety would have been at risk if i didn't know the truth. anyway....all that to say mama did what she felt she had to do, and i dig it.

Last story, she should go to Miami. No she would not feel bad down the road. Brother was really disrespectful, he should have not let that happen to his sister. I backed out of my sisters wedding and have never regretted it.

Mountain lady was definitely a skin walker

I’m a big fan of letting kids decide how to interact with adults. I want kids to know their boundaries are not to be compromised for other people’s feelings bc it undermines their ability to do so with people they are actually not safe with. This OP is a good parent

I think an adult as an assistant flower girl means babysitter for the day.

Spread sheets: NTA. You’re right, kids shouldn’t be involved. Problem is, DAD involved the kids and it sounds like the kids began disrespecting mom because of dads lies. She righted the wrong to get their respect back.

Regarding the trip with two women, op was ok with him having female friendships and then someone kissed him, he violated her trust by saying he would not text that girl and then still went ahead and did so, platonic or not. I also feel like you can choose to stay with someone and not fully have trust back, it takes a lot more time to heal from something like that. So it would be understandable if she felt uncomfortable by him going on a trip with two women she’s never met.

First dude had a really bad idea. He was thoughtful in the sense that “you said you wouldn’t like the stress of planning a wedding so I did the planning” but not discussing it AT ALL is crazy. Forget batting 100, this nigga is batting 1000. Anyone that co-signed that dumbass idea needs to be excommunicated cuz they don’t have either of y’all best interests at heart.

My surprise wedding!!!! Wth is that!!!

For me, part of parenting was teaching body autonomy. And toddler's sometimes don't hug because they've just learned this is something they have control of. Don't take it personally.

The surprise wedding story, it would not have been legal yet. You can't get a marriage license without both people signing the papers. *also, iirc, in the comments of that story, she did clarify that surprises were right up her alley and something else relevant that I don't recall, so it's not unreasonable that he would think that's the kind of thing she would be into. Still, lack of communication on it was the biggest issue.

I am a firm believer in treating kids like people in society. Rose colored glasses should be age appropriate. If you have preteens, it’s probably already hard enough because teens are angsty already. She showed proof without technically badmouthing the father. He just got caught in a lie and got upset about it. I think the mother was correct in her decision.

I'm sorry, but Brandon with the "He's literally a rep-a-tile" then immediately catching how he pronounced "reptile" was hysterical to me. 😂😂

Honestly, it sounds like the guy with the friend who is a woman is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Emotional cheating could definitely be happening. Question: Why did the friend feel comfy enough to try and kiss him? Had he NEVER mentioned his gf? What kinds of conversations do they have that lead to that kind of pursuit? Sounds fishy to me, and it wouldn’t be the first time a man stays friends with someone who has a crush on him because it boosts his ego. It happens. Often.

I completely disagree with y’all on the trust issue regarding the girl who said her boyfriend couldn’t go on a trip with girls. Trust takes time and experience with the other person. Even if you love someone and know they’re the one, trust takes time to build and it’s those accumulated experiences together that you fall back on to be reassured. They’re in a long distance relationship which is breeding grounds for mistrust, and it means it may take more time for those experiences to accumulate. Where the girlfriend went wrong was not feeling mistrust, especially considering he lied about the platonic relationship. It’s natural to think “okay so I’ve been lied to about this, what else have I been lied to about?” Even if nothing was actually happen it’s not a justifiable lie and just puts the seed of doubt in your partner’s head. Where she did go wrong tho was instead of voicing her concern to her boyfriend and giving him the opportunity to reassure her, she went straight to letting her mistrust take control and took his autonomy away.

Disrespect is contagious. That mom did the necessary thing

I swear every episode things look better and better and sound better and better. Great work guys!

Hahaha omg kennywood is a whole ass amusement park located in a neighborhood in Southwestern PA (a half hour from Pittsburgh) 😂 I realize how odd the name is now LOL I still go when I can!!

24:52 big time disagree. That* hinders their growth in emotional intelligence. Of course you don't share certain aspects of your personal life but you should absolutely be taught your parents are fallible humans. 26:31 again, disagree. Yes our youth is exposed to many things that past generations weren't but they are certainly not "growing up" sooner than previous generations. Just in a different way than previous generations.

Me dió mucha gracia que en una parte del capitulo se pusieron a hablar de que usar excel era de gente ruda, y yo me puse a escucharlos mientras hago una evaluación en excel jjajaj

That story with the creepy woman at the rest stop/hiking trail feels super malicious. I remember a few years ago the news telling stories about people who pull their cars over on the side of the road. The man would hide while the woman stands next to the car looking all helpless. People would pull over to help the woman, and then the man would come out of nowhere and steal the Good Samaritan's car. (And there's stories out there where they'd kidnap and murder the Good Samaritan.) I can't help but wonder if there was someone else nearby that was going to jump out and harm the OP, or maybe the place the woman would direct OP to drive her "home" would be some sketchy place where he'd be jumped as soon as he arrived. Or maybe it was a homeless woman that was high or drunk out of her mind and that's how she ended up in a strange place with a sketchy story. Whatever the truth was, that situation was way too suspicious to just take that woman at her word and go along with her getting into his car.

I’m sorry I don’t think the mom was wrong for showing her kids the truth. He shouldn’t have lied to his kids and he wouldn’t be dealing with the repercussions of his actions.

Yoooo these extra uploads are the best! Thank you!!

Second story: op found a real life witch, better watch out for the millennial curse incoming.

16:10 “I didn’t watch Johnny Depp’s Ringo” evidenced by the fact that the movie is called Rango 😭

I watch a lot of amusement park/roller coaster channels on KZfaq, Kennywood is an amusement park in PA. I'm not a parent, but once I heard that I knew OP wasn't the asshole. also for the last story, OP posted in the comments that her mom gave her money for the hotel or ticket (cant remember which) lol

Okay that lady was 100% a ghost who died in a storm.

The bodily autonomy thing is so important. I tried to instil it from an early age and my mom hates it and has grabbed him and wrapped him in a hug from behind. He's usually been fine with it and will even giggle but I still don't like it. My dad, luckily is way better about it. It definitely does hurt but both my son and my sister's oldest are autistic so they often don't like being touched.

The steak one is so funny like no one thought to put the steak in a Tupperware and then they all go out to eat?? No one??

I’ve been trying to find y’all forever but TikTok only showed me people stealing your content thank god for KZfaq suggestions!!!!!

Spreadsheets are life

The thing about not telling kids is when you don’t tell them things they get resentful on not knowing you’re damned either way. They will create stories in their head op if you don’t fill in the blanks.

I went to a suprise wedding but the guests were the ones that were surprised, not the bride.

Thanks for the stories they distract me from my struggles

The lier bf going in trip with the girls I usually like their comments but Sam saying it's the girl's fault for being insecure 😲 how do guys always get away with cheating? Where's the accountability? It's his fault! The girl isn't insecure, she knows shes not the problem. The cheater made all this happen. She was happy in the relationship before he broke the trust. I hope she finds the strength and courage to leave him.

A surprise wedding might be the absolute DUMBEST thing to ever do to someone you claim to love.

For once me and Sam agree: did noone on either side's family say how insane a "surprise wedding" is??

Kennywood? oh we're in the 'burgh 😂

56:01 this is wholesome, you guys are the right amout of seriousness mixed up with fun corkiness. keep doing what you do!

Second story with the lady trying to catch a ride. That was a skinwalker 100% lol

Kid hugs: I’ve had times where my niece or nephew didn’t wanna hug me especially when they were younger so I get what y’all are saying by it hurts but you wanna respect that they’re just emotionally not there for it. I’d never force them to hug me because for me personally I don’t like hugs sometimes so it’s like why would I disrespect that just because you’re a child when I, as an adult, am sometimes in that situation of not wanting to give/receive a hug

The not sheltering a woman story, sounded like she was having some sort of mental break :( she did the right thing because those situations are unpredictable and she can’t put herself in danger and I hope that middle aged woman is okay

Kicking out the pregnant girlfriend-- I've been pregnant twice. The smell of coffee made me gag. I went to work every day and sat next to people drinking coffee. You only act the way you're allowed to act. She expects that she can be rude and demanding so she is behaving that way.

Spreadsheet: she needed to show them at that point. He was actively turning the kids against her and lying about the situation. It would be best not to involve them-- but he already did. The best thing now is truth.

When I first found out that I was pregnant with my son, a snack food that I loved before literally smelled like 💩💩💩. Your pregnancy hormones change some of the things that you can eat.

It's so difficult to not make any snide remarks at all when the other parent is being difficult and the kid is always around. But it really should be minimized as much as possible. I was raised by a single dad and he tried really hard not to shit talk my birth-giver. My son was raised by me mostly for the first 4 years, then we lived together to try to co-parent... That was honestly a disaster. Then he went back and forth. Now he lives with his dad in our home-town a few hours away and I visit whenever I can. When I vehemently disagree with a parenting decision his dad has made it is *very hard* not to let on to my son. I agree though, that, whenever possible, kid's should be left out of adult matters. We're also only human though. Honestly glad to hear Madi say her mom was a good mom but she also made that mistake from time to time. It lessens the mom guilt a little. I 100% think she was in the right though. He involved the kids first.

Humans have anxiety! It’s natural to be scared sometime and uncertain. Putting the narrative out there that you must absolutely be secure in relationships just makes people feel like there’s something wrong with them. Let’s normalize having insecurities in relationship but talking about them to your partner in kind and vulnerable ways! It can help build a relationship so much more. It’s like gaining double the experience points in the relationship column if it were a game

Finally updated with all the episodes!!

they can't afford their own place but got pregnant? where's the logic? how are they gonna afford the baby? with an attitude like that they're probably just gonna throw the responsibilities onto the grandparents

35:00 - I get it, because my cousin had a 1 yr old, and I tried to hold him last Thanksgiving and he kept looking at me like "Girl, who TF are you?" 😂.

regarding the relationship with no trust- me and my boyfriend don’t have opposite gendered friends besides each others friends. beforehand, i had a toxic relationship with abuse that made me super insecure, then i met my now boyfriend. the insecurity i had didn’t kick in until his closest female friend would facetime him at like 2am to cry on his shoulder about her relationships and he would comfort her. this made me so uncomfortable to the point i did ask to look through his phone. i realized my boyfriend has a hard time putting a line in platonic and romantic. he would call his women friends outfits cute, send them money if they guilt tripped him about it, ect. i just wanted to break up after that because i realized i didn’t want to be with someone with lady friends anymore because i can’t even trust the women either. my boyfriend said he still cared about these girls and would be there in dire situations (like if they were in need of money in a dangerous situation) but he wasn’t going to talk to them anymore because he understood how he was crossing lines and just would rather give up the friends because they just kinda use him for attention anyway. i already don’t really have guy friends or have an interest, so it kinda worked out. we’ve been together for 3 years now and everything is perfect and we are satisfied with this. i think it is okay to not want your partner to have opposite gendered close friends but your partner has to agree with you. you shouldn’t force it on someone.

I really can’t believe Maddie missed her opportunity to tell Sam that he hasn’t seen the movie😂😂

I love how the ex husband is acting like a big baller when he’s throwing Pennies. Saying he’s paying for the house? With what? Like $500 a month? Pffffft ok sir.

it is absolutely scary to involve yourself with strangers I wouldn't give anyone a ride just for my own safety. as for what Sam was saying I've had to explain to a friend (24 male, black) that me and a lot of other women won't open the door for him if we didn't know him and no its not because he is black but because he is a male. ( for context he was complaining that he got his neighbors grocery door dash delivered to his place and he was knocking on her door trying to return the groceries but she wouldn't open the door.)

The old woman was a ghost. Fight me

As a child of a rough divorce my parents bad mouthed each other all the time and it definitely affected my relationships with them

During my first pregnancy..I could not stand to look or smell raw meat... Simple solution...I would cook the rest of the meal and my husband would cook the meat why I stayed up stairs..She was very disrespectful to brother-in-law in his own home.. Come on how long could he have taken in the bathroom..She sure moved with intent as soon as she had her chance.

In my culture its very disrespectful for kids not to hug/shake hands with company. That’s why me and My Husband don’t go around people we don’t truly trust. We have literally cut friends off that give us any type of odd feelings. Also, we always talk to our kids and tell them to let us know if anybody says or does anything to make them feel uncomfortable even if they threaten them.

I love this podcast

If she doesn't trust him and she can find no evidence that he's cheating, that says much more about her than about him. The most jealous people are always the ones who want to cheat.

Ngl as I hate to plan parties or anything like that (I get overwhelmed easily) I would actually love a surprise wedding, but they would have to make sure my hair and nails are done properly and my mom was included in the planning. I would be relieved 😂because I’m already giving my mom the reins if I ever do get married.

39:58 okay, pregnancy hormones and sense of smell is crazy. I had the same kind of reaction to the smell of mushrooms when I was pregnant with my son and I worked at an A&W at the time they released the mushroom mozza burger so I was on the verge of puking everytime I went into the kitchen. That being said, throwing out someone's steak is crazy. Steak is EXPENSIVE. She should have gone for the Chinese instead of sending op's brother. Then when she got back the steak would be cooked and likely smell a lot less.

Growing up in Namibia as a white girl it is customary to greet your elders with a hug and, unfortunately, a kiss on the lips. This is especially enforced among children. I have serious personal space issues and hate unconsented physical contact and has had issues with this ever since I was little. My mom is one of the most incredible people ever and the moment I told her I don't like having people touch me or kiss me (I think I was maybe ten) she cut that off immediately. This upset people in our town who would call me rude and disrespectful, even in church, but having that support from my mom, that who I allow to touch me should always be MY choice and no one is allowed to dictate that, has given me a sense of body autonomy that is unfortunately rare in this country. I enforce the same rule with my kids and don't let people touch them unless they (my kids) say they may, and this has caused issues but I don't care. My kids are not there to make other people feel good about themselves or "respected". They are there to grow in a safe and supported environment and anyone who forces even the smallest contact from them without their consent will find a hole in the backyard with their name on it. Props to the parent for kicking that woman out, you are a hero.

Spreadsheet: mom is NTA bc she never would have said that to the kids if he didn’t lie to them and try to present her in a negative light. There’s a saying that I’m probably going to butcher: if the truth make you look bad, it’s not the fault of the truthteller or something like that. Basically you can’t get mad at someone telling other people the truth of your actions bc it’s what YOU DECIDED TO DO. I have a friend who always takes the high road and deals with a narcissistic ex like this and it’s so hard to stay neutral for the kids when you want to scream into the void. Madi is so right that all parents have their moments! Anyways that mom did what she had to do bc he was lying to her children and it was negatively affecting them.

I do agree that children should have the right to say no to a hug. It's body autonomy, and forcing them to do so contributes to rape and sexual harassment culture. Personally, I have never run into this situation. I don't see my nieces and nephews that often, so when I do see them, and their parents say, "Go give your aunt a hug," they all do it happily. But if anyone acted like they didn't want to, I would never force them to. The thing is, I think there may be something seriously wrong if the kid refuses hugs all the time. My cousin's son is like that, and maybe part of that is because his dad is kind of a cold jerk. That, on its own, probably isn't an issue, but I also remember my cousin telling us that when the family's pet rabbit died, they bought a new one like immediately afterward. Then the son got into a fight with his little sister, and when my cousin told him to stop and be gentle with her, he said, "If she dies, you can just have another baby like when we bought another bunny after the last one died." I can't help but wonder if that kid is a psychopath...

Ayyyy Kennywood. It's an amusement park in Pittsburgh PA

My son is 8 but an old soul. His dad tries to gaslight him and he calls him out for it every time. Side note: he’s neurodivergent and has learned to communicate his feelings like a grown up. I’ve reminded his dad that he’s 8 but understands many things. One day I got tired of the holier than thou image his dad pushed. 8 years of on and off abuse, including 4+ years of him being incarcerated will do that. My son knows the real reason/reasons why me and his dad will never work out (we haven’t been together since he was 2 months old.) In hindsight maybe I shouldn’t have said his dad loved dancing with other girls but my son was able to understand why I continued to rebuke the idea of his father and I working out. I never spoke bad about his dad. I never wanted his opinion to change on how he viewed him but dammit I’m not the bad guy when I’ve always been the consistent parent. In the end, my son shamed his dad and moved on from it. His dad was pissed because the rose colored image was snatched but it is what it is and when I’m doing everything and still being called a whore/bad mom/great woman/best mom 🙄- he can suck it. I have since gone no contact with him. My son still has a relationship with him- I’ll never get between that- but the kid is able to express his wants and needs without me having to intervene.

My mom got proposed to with a plane spelling it out in the sky over the beach and said no to that man infront of everyone there😂 poor guy hated life that day everyone going ape shit over the ring and my ma was like "why would you do that:?

If shes watching 2 guys from Luxury Dark named Parker and Chester, just make sure to mention that "this was filmed for entertainment purposes only" means its scripted and not actually the dark web.

Were the surprise wedding and old woman in a storm posts made by "Beauty and the Beast" fans ?

Where can we send in listener submissions… I’ve got a doozy for you…

Yinzers unit over Kennywood. Spent my childhood there and then worked there in college!

I'll never understand how so many people don't understand that actions have consequences. The older brother and future SIL are within their rights to change their minds on bridesmaids, but they should have known that doing so, (even without the added money and assistant flower girl insults) would irreparably damage their relationship. And it sounds like they didn't have much of a relationship to begin with because of the age gap. Honestly, I wouldn't want to go to that wedding even if I didn't have the lovely alternative of a trip to Miami with a friend. I disagree with Sam that she'll regret it. I think she would regret it if she did go to that wedding and pretended everything was okay because it would send the signal to the family that it's okay to treat her like crap. Maybe future family get-togethers will be a little awkward, but that happens anyway.

Kennywood is an amusement park in Pittsburgh

Love y’all even more now that Ik y’all watch big brother

The old woman story sounds like a shapeshifter or skinwaker to us in america so yeah definitely not the ahole i wouldve ran, jumped into my car and got the hell out of there! Anything and everything in australia will, try or can kill you even though its an amazing place!! Lol

My mother may be a lot of things, but when it comes to how she was about my bio dad, she was never the kind to talk shit. And i am the same way with my son. I dont badmouth his biological father, but he has nothing to do with my son so my son can see that. The parents in the story are both trash

18:21 Brandon, is Google Sheets better? Or you just don't like any kind of spreadsheet.

On the trip with two women story, it isn’t even an issue of trust. It’s an issue of, is it wise to go on a trip with two women of the opposite sex. Is this a situation that has a higher than normal likelihood of causing problems. In a previous situation, you saw a woman get drunk and try to come onto you, and it wasn’t easy or convenient to physically leave that situation. And after that you decided to create a friendship that didn’t previously exist, after she’d already caused harm. Is he going to be collecting these girls and starting a group chat with all the women that are “currently” friends but would be open to more if he opened that door? Nah, man.

Nta to the dude who threw out his brother and his pregnant girlfriend. She doesnt get to be a dick just because she's pregnant. It was his steak and his house and she doesn't get to dictate whatver he cooks just because it bothers her. It probably was horrible for her to smell so she should have just left and said that it was too much for her

she is talking about jaystation A KZfaq celebrity who confessed to pretending that his girlfriend had been killed has been arrested and charged with assault and assault with a weapon. Toronto Police confirmed Jason Ethier - known online as ImJayStation

Yeah the first story she needs new friends or something ... how are all the people she's close to not understanding how concerning this is. You cant spring marriage on someone like that just because they have "talked about it" and for alot of women a wedding day is very important and specific to them. Not being able to put your own touch , make your own decisions with any part of the wedding ..yeah that's not going to happen. She's not the asshole. She didnt waste a "perfectly good wedding" she stood her ground on a lifelong decision that she wanted an actual say in. This wasn't a romantic gesture this is insanity. A romantic gesture would have been a nice dinner a gift literally anything but a mf surprise wedding. And all of her family and friends saying she's wrong ide love to see how they would feel/act if they were in this exact position

Randel was lawful evil.

the story with the spreadsheet, i just think how those children now they´re feeling like a burden, just by the fight from the parents, you really internalice this shit