Welcome to family court

Idk how judges who grant outcomes like that don’t wind up murdered. Do they have 24-7 protective detail at home? I’m asking a serious question. Didn’t happen to me, so not making a threat but if I was a judge, I’d be AFRAID to give such outlandishly unjust rulings

@@charlesg7926 its because most men are not evil just make bad choices.

@@charlesg7926 Probably was afraid of HER?

@@charlesg7926 tell your senator to pass better laws the judge enforces the law they can’t make up the law

Yeah, I'm a female that gave up a LOT OF $$$ to get free of a POS. It can happen both ways.

Lol

Do you know what I would tell Chris Rock? it is cheaper if you don't marry them in the 1st place! ya can't lose to these man-hating laws if you don't play their game.

Truth! 😄

​@@limpingoatfarmSame! I walked away with a Big L financially in exchange for peace. (No kids)

I completely agree. I anticipate a lot of comments on this video disagreeing.... but come on. You'd have to have a heart as cold as ice to end the relationship with the child you've raised for all of those years. It's not her fault. The wife on the other hand... divorce papers would already be on her desk.

@@randomutubr222 hope they can have an honest conversation that yeah things are going to change but what's important won't, that all their experiences and love can continue

@@randomutubr222 Narcissists wouldn't have a problem dumping the child too, since they only think about what's good for their own selves, and could care less about others (even children). So I agree with you about people who are like that having a heart as cold as ice.

Not the daughter, that is a girl he helped raising

By raising the girl since birth, she really "is" his daughter. Blood ties aren't everything.

You invest so much time and money into this if you feel like you are no getting ahead in life and the toxic continue you are doing more harm than good divorces are messy but you are in a situation where it too burden and there no way out you need to break free from this or she going to continue pull the wool over your eyes I say get divorce and pick up the pieces start fresh don’t let anyone stand In your way and as far as your so call daughter let her be your daughter since you already invest into your so call daughter be part of your daughter life but not the wife you don’t need the wife she treating you like an atm machine that not a marriage I been married twice a widow twice and we always help one another everything we share was together when you are married husband and wife are combined into one unity but if your given more than your share and she take and not given that not a marriage go after your happiness pick up the pieces and leave especially if you are not getting a head

Or they can go. YOU don’t necessarily have to go anywhere.

I was thinking that the other person should leave, not the one who is paying for everything and getting treated badly.

I think he meant the guy needs to walk out the door and leave his wife!

I love it. I'm going to use that!

@@caroletta451 No she can leave and be homeless. She cheated and refused to get a job while he earned that house

some company pensions require you to name a beneficiary with the caveat it cannot be changed UNLESS there is a divorce and that is part of the settlement.

My best friend informed me that unless I changed the beneficiary after the divorce was final, in the case of my unexpected death, my ex husband of 30 yrs would get everything in the sense of pension, life ins, etc. In Calif the ex gets the money unless it's changed. I provided documentation and had that info changed within a few months of my divorce being final.

Hi Bovine how're you doing today and how's the weather over there today. Where're you from

On top of that he has to pay alimony 🤨

@@walternicolas6927 Im from C U next Tuesday!!

@@bovinebeautymoo2884 takes long to hear from you Bovine .. I reside here in Cleveland.. how's the weather in Canada

If that's not reason to stay single I don't know what is.

That's how it works and the reason I'm not married.

That's the world of no fault divorce. She can do whatever she wants and it won't be considered, if his income is higher he will likely have to pay her alimony, if the child is under age, but still not his, he can still get saddled with child support because he's established a parental relationship. It's a disgusting system but that's how they do it now.

None of that documentation means anything to the court. If the man makes more money, he will pay alimony.

It's called no fault divorces. This legal system is rigged and a joke

That's what I was thinking!

Who says she may even get alimoney. After what she pulled. And if she did. She may not be around to to collect it.

Exactly.

@@340rps sadly she probably will be getting some spousal support.

@@340rps it's commiefornia

Dave has recommended divorce when it comes to infidelity

@@LaniakeaLeathercrafts that's one of the few biblical reasons for divorce.

From a Biblical perspective divorce is a yes if indefinitely is involved and u don’t want to work things out. I’ve known a leader at church that cheated but him and wife now live happily because there was a change of heart/behavior. Totally depends on the situation.

Or just separate

Of course finding a way to blame the guy for this situation.

@@NickPShow Well he has contributed the most to his own situation by not enforcing proper boundaries. Even between husband and wife there are boundaries that if crossed are automatic deal breakers and should result in the end of the marriage. So yes, the fact that he is still there after 30 years of this is his fault.

She's gambling his money. She's keeping hers.

@@gjohannes1344 So even though the wife is gambling his money, it's his fault?? Really??

@@NickPShow Yes, it's his money and he needs to take the necessary steps to curtail what his wife is doing with the money his earns. Instead he just let it happen.

I agree. Honestly, he is not very good at his job. He often just vomits word salads that don't mean anything and never really gets to the point, and always sides with the woman.

The fact that you think the husband is the "victim" in this is laughable, and yes, if the genders were reversed I and most people would say the same.

Exactly 💯

Exactly

Have not of

BINGO

What about the poor kid

Hahaha 100% hun

Yep!!!

Truth!

You're so right. In a way Dave treats woman like little children if you think about it.

@@michaelb.8953 Dave is a product of his time and is too old to change.

No way! That’s a sick wife and an enabling husband! That’s quite different than a “happy wife”. I’m a “happy wife” but I’m accountable to my husband as well.

👍🏾😁

No sir, that’s what a Jezebel gets you

Not what the saying was referring to at all

No it actually gets you a happy wife. Happy wife here. No gambling problem tho

did he only find out just recently about the DNA?

@@AdmiringObserverR Yes

I agree with 100%.

Yeah, this guy needs to see someone because to not be seething at this point is dangerous. He is way too detached.

@@happydogg312 concern for maybe HIS kids? Wonder if he had DNA done on the others, I would. Some people might think it better to not do it, but I think there would always be a nagging doubt. Better to clear things up then proceed in a manner you are all comfortable with if it turns out there was more than that ONE deception.

The kid is an adult. Thats not even in a question

Good luck with that. In the US the only thing the state considers is if the kid ever saw you as a parental figure. That's it. There are a lot of cases going on where men are fighting to not pay child support on kids that aren't theirs. Which is why I tell guys to never date single mothers.

Yes, that ended with no fault divorce.

The man cheats, he pays......the woman cheats, he pays.....that is the foundation of divorce court.

🤣

WOW so appreciate my husband

That women sounds absolutely disgusting 🤮 That poor man! People like that shouldn’t be allowed to get married

@@Naturefan354 the problem with marriage and divorce laws, are that they are not fair at all.....there are bad men and bad women in marriages, but only the men are punished, and that includes the good men that have bad wives.....only the men pay.

They probably have separate accounts, so she has access to her checks coming in, but not the rest

Yes, Sounds like she is using her own money that she works for, for the gambling.

She's using her money to gamble.

@@jaebeablessings1005 well maybe but when you’re married it’s marital money.

I agree with a lot of your comments!

You'd be surprised at the nonsense that gets decided in family court. He has every reason to be scared of alimony.

@@JBrown-go8ru i Thank God i'm single still at 40>? half my firiends are divorced ..

Because he is a man. We are walking ATMs after all without feelings

*Duo

@@TheAck201 😂😂😂😂

Because when the law is not on your side, you want to cut your losses. Getting a divorce means he is LEGALLY allowed to hand out his money so she can spend it. So all this lie would turn into is what?

He's also mentally drained because of being in an abusive relationship. He now has no self esteem. He's broken. So he's just been dealing with. It happens in abusive relationships. He can't even see that "exit door" that was mentioned in the video.

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 What most men fail to understand is that freedom is a reward you simply cannot quantify in dollars. Men never calculate that when saying that it is cheaper to keep her. No, what are you doing to your mental state by keeping her? Where do you calculate for that?

He choose to settle

Although I disagree with the statement, some say: “it’s better to deal with the devil you know rather than dealing with the devil you don’t know.” It’s excruciatingly sad, & what’s worse is: there are SEVERAL marriages continuing in which one spouse chooses to settle and remain “stuck”,

I have a brother who is living this way. Mans a miserable husk of what he used to be.

I completely agree with this. They take blood from the baby already why not run dna.

Unfortunately, the court might still make him pay child support if the child is still of tender age. Way too many men being forced to pay child support for other men children. Because they are married.

@@ajoyforlife1 even if the court forces you to pay, you can still hire a good attorney and try to fight child support. With that said, once DNA testing becomes law of the land, men should not be liable for child support if the results prove that a man is not the actual biological father. Also, once you find out that you are not the father, you need not waste anymore of your time in that child's presence. The real father should care for his offspring(s).

Definitely agree with the dna test

@@otrebla8944 Yeah just cut the child off from any relationship (who all along thought they knew who their father was). How cruel can some people be to make the child suffer like that....yikes! Some of you people are downright scary lol.

You don't? But I still love you 😍❤️

It’s better with a great companion.

​@@katemiller7874a great one yes...but not all are great after you marry & show their true colors.

Best clue is if you are still in the early stage of dating, if that other person takes food from your plate while out to dinner '86' them, they think they own you and even your food.

I hope you realize this is extremely unusual and was enabled by the "victim".

I would agree that thirty years is unusual.

tales like this are COMMON today, it is a different world, I am a sad remnant of a world where LOVE and compatibility, joint responsibility for a relationship and EVERYTHING was considered joint property of the marriage going in. Things CHANGED DRASTICALLY when the career single females known as TROPHY WIVES set out to find a mate and decided that the men they wanted because they were successful were already married.THAT is when divorce laws changed. Now those same 'Trophy Wives' need more changes to change the laws back to alimony... You have every right to be VERY AFRAID of marriage. It seems people have lost touch with a part of what separates humans from animals, CONSCIENCE has been adjudicated away. That cancels common sense and morality.

You don't have to marry. Be amazing and if a woman isn't willing to be with you without marriage, it shows that everything she claimed she was with you for is a lie. Then go be amazing with someone else. AND paternity test for any child born immediately after birth.

This is the Ramsay Show. Of course they are.

Men in general react better to harsh criticism. They are trying to wake him up to the problem so he doesn't get pulled through the mud by this women.

When his proposed solution is to just stay because he thinks it's cheaper? Eventually grown adults have to own up to the fact you let others abuse you, in this case abuse your money, your emotions, your trust. After the first few lies you decide to keep believing them or to ignore things that hurt you and accept the consequences.

When u act like a bitch for 30 years, guess what !! She will treat u like a bitch

Not sure what hypocrites you're talking about since Dave and John both pretty much told the guy that unless he's willing to live that way for the rest of his life, he should probably get a divorce.

You are absolutely right and that’s why I had to quit listening to him he gives horrible advice when it comes to relationships he’s not a counselor he’s a financial advisor and if you don’t do things his way you’re stupid.

Well from what I'm seeing there blaming both and the're correct. The guy should have taken care of gambling wife along time ago.

So well said’

And living to the fullest outside of a marriage isn’t as good as living extremely happy in a marriage

FACT

@@lesterparker1594 could you draw me a map to this magical land of rainbows and unicorns?

@@lesterparker1594 siiiiiiiimp

Whimp!

There is no “tough love”, that’s just love.

You are calling him a coward? but if were the husband that was doing all this, and had a child out of the marriage, you would call his wife a victim no doubt. the double standards are amazing!

Being spineless doesn't make one a good person.

Very true. Sadly

I think it’s like a “Yield” traffic sign. You can’t technically take the Right-of-Way but you can give one up. If the roles were reversed, where the woman wanted the divorce, SHE would be the one to have to move out, not him.

at some point he liked her. The sad truth is some women want to pretend their young and do childish things and socially get away with it. Why would she care if she cheated and still keep half his networth while working very little?

@@theglassarrow_ Heck i like a lot of woman but doesn't mean marriage and having their kids. .

If the genders were flipped, they would have told the wife to leave the marriage. This is a perfect example of how men hold each other accountable, but you don't see this trait in women. Men have to be the leaders in the home. If you are not leading, you will be led into these types of situations. Better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. You need to hold your wife accountable.

@@hugogarcia553 did they not say leave? I think they at least heavily implied it, but a guy that was that complacent for decades and didn't file the second he found out their kid wasn't even his, but instead suggests staying with her to "safe money" isn't going to listen. He clearly avoids confrontation.

Dave the Simplord strikes again.

If a woman wrote in with this scenario they would be calling the guy names and convincing her he emotionally and psychologically abused her

I mean men are always blame for everything, we should get used to it by now.

Honestly this level of gaslighting has been unseen from Dave before

Aren't men always talking about how they're the leaders and the "superior beings"? 🙄 If you're such a leader and so superior, you should not be allowing scenarios like this to play out for THREE DECADES! How are you the leader of the household but allowing your wife to use you like toilet paper?

Yep. Always.

You could have just prayed and left it at that 😏😏

@@Nokss87 ikr. Sound like showing off😕

@Oatmeal Truck - Had NO IDEA ... God was into reading prayers via KZfaq Comment section !!

Bizarre that typing out my prayer would bother anyone, that it would be seen as “showing off”(huh?), or that anyone would think that God has a preference for the way I pray or how public it is or isn’t.

@@oatmealtruck7811 there's actually a verse in the Bible where it says it's better to lock yourself in a cupboard and pray than to proclaim it loudly in the streets.

@Tankkizzle Simpin' ain't easy.

He was to blame. He got stepped on for three decades and did nothing. That marriage should have ended year one. She was allowed to live rent free, expense free, got free parenting for a child that wasn't his, and just got to work on her "hobby" for 30 years. Are you telling me you would have put up with that insane woman for even one year?

@@ganthc It happens. She was the one he wanted. 🍎 of his 👁. The prize.......full of lies and surprises.

@@ganthc are you serious? What if the roles were reversed? Battered wife. It's her fault for staying. Maybe she liked getting beaten up. Could leave the family at any time. Hey, it's her fault.

@@ultimaetsolder yes, responsibility does work in reverse. If a woman doesn’t flee the house, get a divorce, call the police, do something for 30 years, then yeah, you share some blame in your situation. Women have agency. It might be different if you were a helpless child with little agency. There are plenty of options besides keep taking abuse for 30 years and do nothing. If a wife knew her husband was molesting their child, but did nothing, is she responsible or share any blame for the child being molested? By your argument, no, she’s got no agency to do anything, no responsibility to get help or protect the child.

Generations of men raised by single mothers leads to generations of weak men.

If it F--ks, floats, or fly, It's best to rent than buy.

My husband stuck around for 40 years until the day he died and we were very happy together. Some marriages work out very well.

@@lisabaltzer4190 Some do most dont and a lot of men dont want to take that huge risk

Dave is a Christian beta male

He already did.

Did I see a different video? Both of them said the woman was messed up, lazy, and awful. Regardless of how messed up she was, John was allowing it to happen for 30 years. He could have been out of this mess decades ago, and he just let it happen to him. So yeah, he takes blame. But they didn't "side with the woman."

@@ganthc I seen plenty of Dave’s video. If this was a women calling on the same issue. He be like “run” , “he’s a loser” & “god bless you staying for as long as you could” “your a wonderful person”. It’s a double standard that men gets in a relationship.

@@krazyd0nut404 they essentially told John the same thing. They even ended on a divorce joke. Without saying to divorce her, they basically were saying he should divorce her. But part of the lessons learned was for John to take responsibility for allowing himself to be pooped on for 30 years. No mentally healthy person puts up with that nonsense for 30 years. John didn’t need coddling. He needed a kick in the pants to finally do something.

@Unknown Comment he’s not fine. He’s been tolerating abuse for 30 years. And he’s calling in asking if he should spend the next 30 years doing the same because it’s cheaper than the alternative.

How'd you get rid of that massive debt so soon?

May God bless you

Rice and beans, beans and rice.

yeah, funny thing KARMA... my ex died young, an accident that I suspect WASN'T, the sad part? Nobody even pushed for a police investigation because they thought the insurance wouldn't pay... and oh, I must mention he suffered with mental and physical problems for a few years before his untimely death. I have had 20 years to ENJOY the old adage, "the best revenge on your enemies is outliving them". I agree.

yup....the woman is ALAYS the victim no matter the situation.

Really? You aren’t in women’s groups are you? We yell too at women that put up with terrible behaviour because ohh they are scared of being single. Yeah sure it’s lonely at times but the rest of the time it’s liberating and peaceful.

The moment any man signs that marriage contract he is potentially in the same position as this guy.

@@Kanfachan An ancient proverb. Never sign a contract where the opposing party benefits to break it

You are hearing correctly. Apply what you've learned.

Yup this is way different than an adopted kid. To love & nurture a child has nothing to do with blood related. If the wife was honest, it could’ve gone two ways….divorce or continues to love his wife and takes in the child as his own. I’ve known many couples who end up caring for a child that wasn’t their blood. In my opinion it seems like she doesn’t necessarily love him but using him for her own benefits

Don't dump the child. None of this is her fault. Dump the wife though.

Dump the kid and the wife. Yes I said it. The kid is not yours and not your responsibility.

@@Ryan_DeWitt Regardless of what kind of mental and emotional damage it will end up causing the child. Yeah you're real swift there. Only a narcissist thinks doing as you suggested is a good idea.

I think you people are sick in the head to say “dump the kid”. None of this is her fault. In her mind, he is 100% her father. And she has always been 100% his daughter. I’m not saying this isn’t a gut punch. It obviously is. But you’d have to have a heart as cold as ice to end your relationship with a child that you’ve loved and raised for over 30 years. And we keep saying “kid”, but she’s 30… she’s an adult. She isn’t his responsibility any further than he wants her to be. We aren’t talking about a baby here. Dump the wife of course. But it’s not the daughters fault man… If I raised a daughter for 30 years only to find out she wasn’t biologically mine, I would talk to her about it. But there’s no way I could just throw them to the wayside. If the kid was literally just born and I learned it wasn’t mine? Of course I’d dump them both. But this is a bit different…

If i could give 50 thumbs up to this I would. I've heard women call in with resembling situations and they were coddling the female. Poor you, he is a loser, take the house and everything he owns.

No, they wouldn't. I've heard them get tough on women.

Agreed. Dave would never shame a woman so freely.

@@TheAck201 I have. I've heard them tell women they need to get a job, work from home, or something. You just don't follow the channel enough. He does believe the man is the head of the household, but he definitely has told women to get out and work, especially if in debt.

Quit playing the "man is always the victim" game. They only told the man that he also played a part in letting his wife get away with her behavior for so many years, so needs to own up to that part which was his responsibility to leave way before 30 years had passed.

He may legally be the child's father.

I agree. However, that would be a tough one to pull off.

Yes. Both of them treated him like s…. He may have issues of his own

I think they could have been more compassionate, for his sake. But I see where they’re coming from. He’s spent 30 years talking himself out of his own responsibility and agency. I think they’re trying to shake him out of it. He has let this person operate as she pleases, while modeling that to a child, for decades. Some people fall into playing martyr when they have a spouse like that, and it brings its own damage to themselves, the relationship, and the family.

@@kattno6582 I agree but I didn’t hear that from the caller. To me it sounds like he married a narcissist, and they tend to be extremely cunning and manipulative. I am sure he isn’t a saint, but if I opened up to someone by saying my wife is a gambling addict and I just found out my child wasn’t mine and their response was “you both are a mess get your house in order”….. man that’s brutal.

Everything about California is a mess. My husband and I sold our business and left California in 2003. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.

@Unknown Comment no I don't but I'm willing to learn before I make this mistake in the future

@@NWNKNP California has no fault divorce laws. It means irrespective of who caused the divorce, the judge will be unbiased and always ask the higher earner to pay alimony to the lower earner. Mostly women tend to date men who make more money than them. So in California, men have to almost always pay alimony. Marriage puts you in a position where a woman can marry you and divorce you the next day with the sole purpose of getting half of everything you own and there are no laws in Cali holding them accountable for that.

@ Drip Josh - read what Siddhesh Mirjanker said, it's a good summary. But it's not just California, it's any place with left wing governments. I live in Australia and this same nonsense applies here, too. It doesn't mean don't get married, but it does mean choose your partner carefully. Because if you marry a woman who is only after your money, then she wins, full stop.

Any man that falls for gaslighting is not/was not a strong man to begin with.

@@ralfbo685 that darn victim, he had it coming? what?

@@dacianbonta2840 he was a victim when it first happened to him. The point where the blame turns on you is when you keep letting it happen to yourself. Would you say an addict is a victim? I would not.

@Tankkizzle not even the same. Men are made to protect women. There is no circumstance where the woman is not a victim in a domestic abuse situation. Men and women should not be held to the same standard because they aren't the same.

@@wordsalad01 Oh 100% it's awful what narcissists are capable of, I almost fell for one myself. That's why I have to train myself to stand up for myself. I'm not saying what this caller's wife did was acceptable by any means. I'm just saying letting himself get kicked around for 30 years is not acceptable either and we shouldn't glorify victimhood

That is the way. Life is too short.

I’m doing it for the kids 10 years to go