I think A&P were a little to harsh here. Did she break a boundary? Yes, by talking about the injury. Did she not speak up? Yes, I could imagine she was shocked. Was the husband put in a hard position? Yes, but he did the right thing seemingly. One important thing is she admits fault here. Broke up with those "friends". I can kind of forgive her for being shell-shocked (or a coward). With some time, or maybe therapy, the relationship should be able to push through. What do you think?

When people say *"please don't talk about this incident anymore,"* it doesnt mean that its okay to talk about it just because they aren't around. She's a trash person for that, alone.

Yall missed it she told on herself. She said that she’s loving the attention she was getting from the friends. She loved it in the moment and didn’t want to loose the feeling.

The words of the enemy accuse you, but the silence of the friend condemned you.

She ended her marriage when she walked out with them. She destroyed his trust. I would dump her like a bad habit. She cannot be trusted.

So nobody in her family thought for second that jumping a guy who was in the military from behind in the dark was a bad idea....

The fact the her friends just assumed she was a victim and she was willing to go along with it is fucking scary!

He can never trust her again. Her loyalty belongs to whomever is making her feel good in the moment.

Not to mention Air Traffic Controllers make on average like 200k a year. A few of my buddies do it for work; it’s one of the most stressful jobs you can have. Controllers are in the top ten professions with issues for suicide, depression, alcoholism, divorce, and anxiety. Sounds like a good man taking care of his family; doing everything he can do. Gets betrayed on every level by his wife. That’s sad man

"I like the sympathy and attention from people other than my husband" I think that is a key phrase. Her loyalty was to that attention rather than her husband and immediate family.

Military vet here, please don't do no shit like this.... this was cause and effect here.

I left a girlfriend for not standing up for me during a party when some trashy friend of hers started talking $hit that she could easily disprove with a word. The second she didn't have my back, I knew she was a waste of time. Never regretted my choice for a second. I know why she tried to leave with them and why she stayed silent. It's what immature adults and kids do when caught in a lie. She was quiet because she was so afraid of getting caught that she was legit contemplating sticking with the story that he was beating her. She was willing to destroy her man's reputation and life just to avoid getting caught.

I remember when my girlfriend was pregnant with my son. He rode very low in her womb, which caused her pain randomly. One day, we went to the doctor for a prenatal checkup, and she was in pain. It was at the hospital, so I grabbed a wheelchair so she wouldn't have to walk. When we get to the office and she's called in, she's in pain to the point that she's crying a little. I'm in the waiting room because they asked me to wait there looking down the hallway to the exam room. In the exam room, the nurses are talking to her and periodically look up at me with angry looks on their faces. They thought that I was hurting her in some way, and I could tell by their looks. My girlfriend assured them that it was because of the baby, and that I wasn't violent like that. Once they examined her, they could obviously see that the baby was indeed riding low, and they took her word for it. But I was kinda mad that they initially thought I'd hit a pregnant woman. So I definitely understand what this man is going through.

Can we take a moment to appreciate the girls family for sticking up for the husband. Oftentimes you would see the family stick with the girl no matter what but after apologies were given out the girls family was fully on his side. This also adds to the fact that the girl was raised right but still chose wrong.

I like how she blamed her friends when she’s the one that put that image in their head to begin with

Imagine knowing you'd fight tooth n nail for someone and they won't even speak up for you. That shit's gotta hurt.

I have a 2nd cousin (much older) who was in Marine Force Recon during Vietnam. He is a great guy, but he has occasional flashbacks that clearly put him in another place and time. A few of my friends in high school were in a scout troop where he was the leader. One night when they were camping, one of the kids thought it would be funny to sneak up on and scare him. That kid wound up on the ground face down and a split second from a broken neck before my cousin regained his senses. The moral of that story is that you do not jump on people’s backs in the dark, and you especially do not jump on the backs of military personnel with the intention of surprising them in the dark.

If a guy walks into his house, lights off, thinking he's alone, and then you jump on him? The BEST case is a separated shoulder

She never forgave him for that incident. She mentions that her family was firmly "on my husband's side" and that eventually she "accepted him back". She always saw herself as the victim and views him in a violent manner

She's the abuser in multiple ways. Let your next guy kiss your stretch marks. This person isn't a wife in marriage. She's unhealthy for his soul. This is betrayal on the highest level. She absolutely told everyone he's an abuser. Low life has zero respect for her child's father. Disgusting

This woman was addicted to sympathy and attention from non-family members. It's why she kept quiet as others spoke ill of her husband's parenting; and it's why she didn't defend him when he was aggressively accused of domestic abuse. She loved the feeling sympathy and support more than her own husband and the truth.

the audacity to blame the guy for all this is unbelievable

I was engaged once. We were hanging out with her friends from high school at a party. (First time meeting these people) They all got drunk and started to attack my masculinity. I sat there quietly. I turned to her and she was piling on insinuating that she had better sex with past partners. I said nothing and walked outside for space. About a week later, her mom came to visit us and asked how planning the wedding was going. I said "it's not. I'm not sure I want to marry her." Spoiler: We split up the next week. Relationships are sacred. Treat them as such.

She marked her husband as a danger to the community in such a permanent way. I'm the back of every person's mind is "she must have been scared for her to do that"... I agree with this being worse than cheating.

People really think that the only form of loyalty in a relationship is to not cheat. "Oh I'm loyal because I don't cheat".... Naaaah loyalty is that AND SO MUCH MORE. Betrayal takes many many forms.

The worst part about this, no matter what he does, her friends will think that he's still beating her. If he gets angry, "he did it". He does nothing "he feels guilty cause he got caught". Someone else comes and talks to them, "He convinced them, but I won't be fooled". Once someone comes to that conclusion it's over.

At the end she didn't say "I just want to be able to hug him and tell him how sorry I am" or "I want the chance to show him that I love and care for him deeply"- she wants him back to make her feel loved and desired. To have her scars kissed and be swept off her feet. Not out of a desire to care for and love him, or to try and right the wrongs she committed. That says it all for me.

That's the type of situation that'll turn a good guy nuclear.

Her walking out the door is equal to Scar pushing Mufasa off the cliff into the stampede😂😂😂

If she cheats: you have to throw her away False accusation: you have to throw her away and clear your name

the fact that she walked out of the door indicates to me she's to some degree comfortable with the idea of destroying her husband's reputation for the sake of attaining victim status

It’s weird that they think she was getting abused as a woman thats very weird too. The best answer to how that happened is she was trying to create some drama, & planted little seeds overtime mot that her husband is abusive, that she’s the good woman, the victim, & she let them guess how bad was her husband, didn’t correct them or nothing & if she stood up for him they would know she was playing victim & she let them think such thing ab her husband. She probably didn’t know it would get out of hand but she did know what she did, at the moment of picking who to walk alongside with during the argument it was her reputation or his. It’s just odd, no one would come to the conclusion & say they are an abuser without “evidence” or claim at some point before. For those who didn’t get it, she’s the type to get a bruise from a fall & say “my husband was upset yesterday” to spice things up. She would never claim her husband did it because if it comes out she was lying she would say she didn’t say anythings so they can’t blame her. I feel like she was shocked that it would get out of hand, she didn’t say anything because they saw how mad they were at him & if they knew she was lying that anger would go to her. She cried because shes too sensitive & everything got out of control. She can’t take a hit she’s just a coward.

What's messed up is that this is totally something my ex would have done; be shell-shocked and not stick up for me if someone verbally accused me of something. When in uncomfortable situations, she wouldn't even stand up for herself. Even when we broke up after being engaged, she allowed her parents to take the ring from her against her will, even after she agreed to return it to me. And we were in our 30s! Men, a sweet girl is nice, but make sure she knows how to at least verbally defend you and herself. Why? Because if she can't do it for herself, she won't do it for you and your kids.

Guy was a military trained man who had been taught be combat ready at a moment ....and this girl and her family thought it was a good idea to surprise him from behind in the dark..........

There's nothing worse than seeing the person you love, share your live, child and dedicate you energy to, transform into a stranger right next to you. That's what he witnessed.

what I've deduced: *she lied to her "Friends" enough to make them think she was being abused *she could have said something in the moment to squash the issue but didn't( a lie was told and she was caught in it) *walking out the house to only CONFIRM their suspicions/thoughts Opinion: to say enough lies to be believed someone is abusing you means that you were looking for affirmation/attention/validation, not all apply, but thats the general understanding. To shrivel up and cower... helped those who believe they are correct in their understanding made the case seem more true. To walk out the house when told to do so for your safety when your husband is standing there defending himself from YOUR words is betrayal on the same level as sleeping with another man that is not your husband. The same as when you're husband shares with you something that he's never shared with another person and you decide to share it. If you ask your husband to stop doing something you hate and he continues, would you think he cares when you find out that it's caused others to think badly of you because of it? Possibly even get the police to show up at your door asking questions? Make me not make sense here

She's proven herself to be a worthless individual and friend, let alone WIFE. She doesn't have the loyalty and internal courage to have your back at literally no cost to herself, and that is a fundamental character flaw, not a one-time mistake.

Two lessons here - don’t jump on someone’s back, off guard with the lights off, etc etc. And don’t discuss your marriage with your “friends”.

"I stopped telling that story out of respect for my husband" "I figured no harm no foul because he's not in the room" So which is it?

Had a similar situation happen and it's rough for sure. Wife and I purchased a rental property which we never really discussed doing extensive work on but she decided to do so on her own but worked on the plans with her father. This was during the lockdowns so we were way understaffed at work and I was working 12-14hrs a day with a 1hr commute each way as well as Saturday half days. Her family kept asking why I was avoiding the work when I was the one funding it by being at work. It was crazy that I would need to defend my absence which then lead to a dispute and things have just never been the same.

This is worse than cheating. This is bearing false witness on top of betrayal.

It was pure instinct on his part. She betrayed him so much.

Yup Domestic abuse claims are worse than being cheated 100%. She was so worried about losing her only "friends" that she forgot about her whole entire life and didnt even stick up for him. Crazy.

I’ve seen it and heard this happened so many times from private conversations with other men. Being accused of heinous crimes that they didn’t do just because they want to say something, They are angry, they need to rent paid, etc… And honestly, the coward Ness is what gets me. There’s nothing to do but close that, chapter in your life and block that number, and someday move on.

I agree..not defending or falsely accusing your husband is a worse offense than cheating. That's a seriously deep cut..that is almost irreparable. Also: There IS wayyyyy more to this story she's not telling. Pretty sure she told her friend all kinds of horror stories and doesnt want to admit it in her post or to her husband.

Preach I agree, I’d rather get cheated on then be accused of DV. As a man, just being accused of DV can ruin your life/reputation.

She's literally the bored housewife. Like you guys said, she probably told her friends other more disturbing things

15:28 some girls are like that, that friend that thinks she has a say in your relationship and gets involved making things worse. And the girl that lets that friend have that much power over her. Not knowing her friend probably is jealous and doesn’t want her to have peace without needing her company as a friend.

the relationships' done for, you don't recover from a double blow like that, no matter how much you love a person, that knife didn't just get put in, it was twisted and then some, and when it was pulled out, it left a gaping hole when his trust was ripped out.

Yeah, I'm gonna say it's real. I had a similar incident with a girl I started dating after my 4th deployment. I had always told her that if I ever fell aspleep by myself in a place I don't usually sleep, to shake my feet if she needed to wake me up. One time I dozed off on a couch, she came to wake me up, and she geabbed my shoulder and shook, and when I woke up I instinctively took a swing. I never made conctact, but she told the story once, and from then on I was an abuser in the eyes of her friends and even her sister. I never once struck that woman, and anytime we even had a minor argument, everyone would rush to her to protect her from the big bad abusive man. She never once stood up for me. What's even worse, most civilians don't realize what we go through, and how alot of what we might do in certain situations is pure instinct. Sneaking up on a veteran in a dark room that he expects to be empty is just asking to get hurt. The second he senses something wrong, his instincts take over. She fucked the marriage because she to this day, doesn't seem to understand what her husband has been through, and when she opens her mouth and makes him look bad, even if it's unintentional, is too much of a coward to properly defend her husband until it's too late.

She sounds EXTREMELY sheltered. I don’t think she’s ever experienced expectations and accountability, on any fronts. She has only hurt her husband and child but ultimately has stunted and limited herself. This is truly sad for this family.

The WORST MISTAKE couples make is allowing others to meddle in their relationship. Keep all of it to yourself!

I dated a woman like this for a long time - she had many good qualities but she'd become a deer in the headlights in unexpected situations. I understand how trauma works and that not everyone has a fight or flight response - some just freeze. But her lack of ability to respond during some key moments was also a big contributing factor in why I felt compelled to take some distance and end things. If I can't trust her to help herself, let alone have my back - how could I ever trust her with our child? I feel sad for the guy in this story but it's a good thing that he's realised how much he can really trust his partner at times.

She didnt respect his military service by surprising him in the dark. She didn’t respect his work and he as a husband by telling the story and then not defending him and going along with it.

Husband need to divorce, she is DANGEROUS

I remember reading this story months ago, surprised to see you guys make a video about it now.

She very very subtly revealed the reason for her resentment and subsequent betrayal: "Our first year was a struggle to parenthood.....my husband struggled more than I did but I helped him.....my husband works too many hours working and etc etc. Notice how she didn't say 'My husband works hard' but instead sees all his time spent at work and time not spent with her. No attention given to her, get it? I will bet a million bucks, for a long time, the husband came home late and tired and unintentionally, from her perspective, neglected her. Don't get me wrong, she fucked up but this perceived "offense" of neglect can turn a good woman subconsciously evil. Most women feel they are wronged but won't say anything because the man is working hard and he is sorta justified. So the resentment grows. Most wives would just betray their husbands over a painful drawn out slow period while simultaneously hoping things will get better.... it's fucked up, I know. Unfortunately for her, she played her betrayal card too quickly. He doesn't know it yet but he sort of won and should be thankful.

I think the real reason she didn't say anything in that moment was because she had told a lot of lies and was scared she would be exposed

When the trust is gone, there is betrayal like that, it’s almost impossible to move forward.

She jumped a trained killer and the killer apologized for defending himself incredibly minimally? She doesn't deserve a good man.

He saw her true colors. He can't unsee that. There is no saving the marriage.

False accusations is worse than cheating. DEFINITELY.

The thing with her unwillingness to help him out when he needed it shows that deep down inside something is really broken, it could be related to her past upbringing as a child but regardless of whatever she'd experienced in the past doesn't excuse her actions and if I'm being honest as a man if my wife ever did me that even if I love her it would never be the same again because I couldn't trust her to have my back any question whether or not it's alright for me to stay. A lot of people don't understand that when a person loses trust in you there ain't no going back.

jumping on a dude with the lights off when he thinks he’s home alone.. you got off easy with the shoulder you could’ve been shot dead

She was addicted to the attention and sympathy that she got from her friends. She cut the friends off and turned around and made them the bad guy so that she could continue to be the victim. Clearly, no accountability. You know she was feeding their mindset.

She liked the attention and sacrificed her husband for it. Why is she telling her friends to f off? She clearly has been painting a picture for some time. There is no way they just jumped to that conclusion right there and then

Walking out aside, even just telling a story about a mistake that you are deeply ashamed of and have asked to not be told anymore is a hard to forgive offense. My mom did that to me once and it took 6 years and a lot of work for her to regain my trust. Spouting off on someone's deep shame as a crowd pleaser at a cocktail party is knowingly humiliating them and it shows them that you neither truly loved nor respected them. I really feel for this guy.

Why would you jump someone who's been trained to be hyper vigilant in dangerous situations, then not accept responsibility for the results? And finally not defending him? What a horrible partner!!

If she cheats, it’s her reputation that’s ruined. If he gets accused of being abusive, it’s his.

She’s either told them flat out that he beat her or she hinted that he did. I’ve seen this exact scenario run in front of me before. A girl being asked if she was being abused and she just broke down into tears. Much much later she admitted she hadn’t but the way she acted when asked was enough to make the men draw conclusions and go after her boyfriend. Huge mess. The guy had never touched her, she was just tired of him and had been cheating

In general, if you are unable to DEFEND your significant other against other people's false accusations, then you are not fit for a relationship. It is extremely frustrating knowing that a partner fails to have your back when people throw dirt at your name, especially when it is unjust. Been there, done that. Never again.

The moment, you start sharing things which bothers you to a third party and not to your partner, consider your relationship is done for.

A FAKE intruder in my DARK home who JUMPED me from BEHIND should apologize to ME for the "surprise "! That chick is an ignorant 🐄!

Can we discuss the fact shes proud of herself for telling her friends to eff off... but i don't see her telling them she's sorry and correcting her lies of omission. I don't see her trying to repair anything. She's just sitting and waiting for him to fix things or not be upset/ hurt by her absolute betrayal of his trust. She's proven herself to be selfish this entire story and in need of attention. That man deserves better.

Don’t scare people into thinking they are being attacked….pretty simple.

I forget what one of my kids said, they weren't serious, but it was something negative about my husband/their daddy (I specify only because these days it isn't a guarantee that both are always the same). I said, "No one is going to talk bad about my man in front of me. Not even my kids."

With a "wife" like that, who needs enemies? She won't even have to go out & look for work. She's going to clean that man's bank account & get all her nosy "friends" to back her up in court. 🤦‍♂️

He wasn’t scared. He was trained.

I 1000% agree with Preach. Getting cheated on would actually make more sense than that scenario. That shit would feel like a bad dream I can’t wake up from and I would physically feel the love I had for her leave my body.

15:21 OP implied she felt good when she garnered sympathy from her friends. So she subconsciously enjoyed playing victim which is why she probably walked out with the friends.

Ive been thru something similar, trust me that was the beginning of the end of the relationship. You lose all trust and respect for your partner.

Oftentimes with duo channels, people feed off of each other so much that neither person seems to have a mind of their own. I like that the two of you can maintain your own opinion and express a disagreement with each other without feeling pressured to kiss the ring and agree for the sake of agreeing. Not a lot of KZfaqrs can do that and its annoying.

Being falsely accused of domestic violence has cost me a year in jail and 2 years of probation. You accuse me of that, and you're dead to me EDIT: No, I never had priors. Never been arrested before. No record at all. What I did to deserve it? Well, I broke up with her after her confessions of infidelity. She got mad, went home, and call the cops. Yes, it is that easy, yes thats all it takes. A cop told me, himself, that when a DV call is made, someone has to get arrested. More often than not, it's the male. Regardless who put the call in, 9/10 times the man is in handcuffs even if he's the victim. "Something he has to prove in court" were his exact words.

Cheating is betrayal. What she did was betrayal with a side of reputation damage. unfixable.

Agree 100 percent This woman could not resist getting the sympathy

At my job, this is why I keep a clear distance from female coworkers. Women want to claim how naturally dangerous men are, but all it takes is an implication or even some false, vindictive accusation to cost a man his livelihood over something that a lady said to be petty.

She was lying to her friends by omissions for a while. She was so deep in her lies that she didn't have the courage to own it. It's disgusting that she would rather destroy a perfectly good marriage than own that she has been dishonest.

8:48 she doesn't love that man. She only loves the fact that other people like her family and friends love him. She clearly doesn't think for herself

She should answer the question why she did what she did as a priority, then she can move forward with the whole shtick. Some counseling would help.

Having your spouse accuse you of something you didn't do cuts deeper than if they cheated on you. I would rather have someone go behind my back than not have my back, because in one situation I am strong, and in the other, I am vulnerable.

The reason that most men would rather be cheated on than go through this is because being cheated on doesn't necessarily speak to our character. Being accused of being an abuser does impeach our character!

Jumping on a military man in the dark is a good way of getting killed. What a DUMB idea. You didn't even THINK about how he'd perceive this given his life experience.

Spot-on assessment guys! Someone reacting physically to a shock or surprise is called an "autonomic reflex" which is a concept well considered within law. It can be argued that there is no "mens rea" (guilty mind) in this case. Also, I heard the author state that the husband was "stationed in Texas." Is the husband in the military? If so, has he been on active service and could this then, be an explanation for his "over reaction?" As for walking to the car with the "friends" without explaining the truth of the story, I suspect that she was holding a grudge about the incident and was revelling in the sympathy and attention she was getting from the "friends." This, along with the fact that the wife thought it was a good idea to jump on the husband's back, when he wasn't expecting anyone to be present, might indicate that the wife is emotionally immature. Can he ever trust her after this? 😯

When someone is truly scared, you will either see the best or the worst of that person. Thats really the best way to tell who you can depend on in a stressful situation. How someone acts/reacts when the sh!t hits the fan will signal some very important things about their shadow side.

If i was that guy, i would be soo mad and disappointed. Imagine you are going home after a long day at work, its dark inside and all of the sudden some fucker jumps on your back. You throw his ass on the ground only to realise its your gf and now you have her brother and dad all in your face. Amazing.

The comment about a mother walking out on her child struck home for me: my mother and dad didn’t have the best marriage, she constantly cheated and was abusive, he was trying his best whilst defending himself against her level of craziness, well they decide to split up on December 26th (her decision because it “couldn’t wait until after Christmas) and it got UGLY, just UGLY. She ran off saying she needed protected and she was afraid he’d kill her or something and claiming he was “dangerous”, the cops asked if she needed to rescue her son and daughter and she said “nah”, like she told the cops “oh he’s dangerous and super violent, he’ll kill me”. The cops knew my dad (next door neighbour was a local Sergeant) and they looked at her like “okay? If he’s dangerous then aren’t your kids potentially in danger of this rage?” She abandoned us for a couple years to sleep around, party with guys, wait for my dads depression to be real bad because he was struggling as a single father with no support, when grandma died, his mother, that’s when my mother swooped in to “save the day” and she got full custody because dad at that time didn’t have any fight in him, something he regrets to this day but that ain’t his fault imo. She went on to massively abuse me over the years whilst she cut all contact with my dad so I couldn’t reach out for support, the abuse often being violent in nature where she also encouraged my brother violently attack me (many hospital visits). It takes a certain kind of woman to speak behind her husbands back, make claims to her friends and then leave those important details out the post, and then claim to be “too scared” to say anything and walk out the door without her kid. Like if her friends truly believed her husband was volatile they’d ask if she needed help escaping with her kid, but this mother just silently walked out which to her friends confirmed the abuse, and just left her kid. This woman from the post and my mother and birds of a feather, they’re cut from the same cloth. All very “me, me, me” but speaks little about her family.

At that point it's like "Clearly you think I'm abusive. You should leave me."

I think most people's worst nightmare is being wrongfully accused of either a crime or just something that ruins their relationship with friends and family, and not being able to do anything to disprove it

I've been in a similar situation and it almost cost me my life. My ex was anemic. Obviously, she bruised easily. S3X left her bruised...and not from rough stuff. Just on the regular. So as we go about town, random dudes are inquiring as to why she's all bruised up. Looking at me all kind of ways. She makes jokes (about kicking my ass, if I hit her, etc.) and doesn't nip that ish in the bud. I had dudes threaten to KILL ME for "abusing" my girl. I ended up leaving town and ending that (obviously). As a dude...this stuff is NOT funny or a "joke". If your girl acts this kind of way...BAIL. IMMEDIATELY. This has real world consequences.

My BF is a sweet little teddy bear, but he is also ex-military and will more than likely break my shoulder too from a surprise like that. It’s even worse that I’m clumsy AF and gave myself a black eye at one point. I’d still make sure people know that he will never ever hurt me intentionally. Attention is a hell of a drug.