SirTenenbaum with Dave it's always the man's fault.

Because for all Dave knows, Tom's wife had never handled the finances, never spoken with the accounts managers for the utilities, barely knows the name of the mortgage company in charge of the hkuse payment, never been responsible for a dime; and then all of a sudden, she's running the estate with no backup.

They are both to blame. I did the same in reverse ~ dumped the finances on my husband. We were almost completely out of debt. When I bothered myself to look at the finances we had amassed around $52k in debt. He managed the money poorly (to say the least) but I also abandoned him to the finances. Lesson learned and we are moving forward.

@@colin8321 Even if that's the case, she's been stealing. If she knows she has to pay the bills and doesn't know how to, she would ask. But what she did was steal. She actively went in and liquidated his 401K. Theft. There's no gray area here.

SirTenenbaum because when it comes to a marriage there really isn’t an innocent person. There is someone who was worse in the situation but there is always something that could’ve been done on both parts

investments go up in value. His wife is a depreciating asset and liability

+untouchable360x I get what you're trying to say but that is no way to talk about a woman, no matter how terrible she is! Do better!

untouchable360x You are 100% right.

its not hard to set uo automatics payments and just balance your check book, i mean how much weight was she carrying?

and the only mistake he made was to not look at his bank accounts to see if the payments are being made. the only thing he abandoned was his bank account.

Hate to say it, but I was thinking the same thing. From all the deviant activity he described, which is probably just scratching the surface, as far as I'm concerned, he's very luck to still be alive. I would say the same if rolls were reversed & he did this to her. Regardless of gender, this is a far cry from love. No trust, no marriage...plain & simple.

My mum's step mum did exactly that. Once he was dead they forged a will saying she got everything but what she didn't know was he made one and had it saved with his brother in the military. It's been a 25 year battle.

...run for his life...bahahahaha , this sounds so sad, needed this laugh!

Dave's reaction made my angry ... guy has zero blame here. File criminal charges and divorce ASAP Rocky.

@@williamperez9827 I agree! Divorce her and file charges. Where is all the money?

Nope. Some you can do online. But she still forged the signature electronically.

Yes, in order for my husband to withdraw from his 401K TSP (gov) to pay off his truck loan, he had to have my signature in front of a notarized offical. Sad. He cant trust her again. File for divorce is my opinion

FireMrshlBill not true: a person can sign off especially if a hardship is proven. Union let my husband clean out his accounts and it went to the wind on bad stuff.

Jason miller yep that it

Jason

Yeah

Mario Levicy And it’s all legal too, if he divorces he couldn’t get any of it back and would still have to split what’s left

Absolutely. Can't believe Dave's poor advice to this man

Man if you think that than you shouldn’t get married

Amen, this is what I thought. You let her get the money without my signature! Lawyer!!!!

exactly! how do you let this happen without knowing?

true she just ruined his life by not making payments

I personally would not be able to continue in a marriage that went this wrong. True, he should have been more involved in the money, but trusting someone means trusting that they won't rob you blind behind your back. It's one thing to be behind on payments, it's another to steal his 401K account dry and falsely claim his unemployment. I would kick her out and divorce her. And Dave missed out on one obvious possibility: she has a gambling addiction. EDIT: I guess he said it wasn't an issue, but I still wouldn't check this off.

This is where Dave gets it completely wrong. Anytime a bloke calls up about his wife.

He trusted her. Big mistake as most women can't handle money well.

joemo7384 YUP. I was thinking the exact same thing.

Most likely. Then at some point she will cry "abuse" by him. NPD personality she has.

joemo7384 I though that too. Also, she spend the money on herself.

I don't usually agree but I admit I thought the same

Yep, the neighbors are totally running train on her and laughing at the guy behind his back

venusiandesigns you don't think your husband should be involved with the finances?

Michael Marquez her husband probably agreed to let her take care of it so that doesn’t mean her husband is not involved in the decision making.

Happy Happy Febechi 찝이지 yes but it's unfair to "Let" someone take care of all the finances and then blame them for things, she's not his employee, she's not on his payroll so they should do it together and I know that's what Dave would say has I've been through financial peace , I'm just saying

My husband handles all the money I just take $150 Weekly for My personal spendings, but he discussed all of financial decisions with me.

venusiandesigns I think that he left al the responsibility to her. He should take responsibility for his finances. Is easy to blame others. That Happened to my brother, he left to work out of state and left the responsibility to ex sister in law. They lost everything and are divorced.

Yea ita really going to be hard to trust her again

yup secret affair 4 sure

She is planning to ditch the husband, and is socking money away.

Some women hide money away.

She is riding with the Hell's Angels MC. Women are drawn to the bad boys.

SOF Not all spouses are thieves.

Barbara Repko no, but almost all female spouses are!

ncatstate if she doesn’t wanna talk about it I would leave her and then hire a private investigator because she is doing same really weird things

He needs to hire a detective.

And Dave says he abandoned her by having her pay bills without his help. What a ridiculous thing to say. He should have told him to call the police on her for the 401k fraud. How could Dave give this man such poor advice.

Two things for the idiots that don’t understand where Dave is coming from: first, as the man of the house, he has a responsibility to be involved with his OWN finances. It’s a SHARED responsibility. He has stated this over and over. Second, he sees the marriage as salvageable because he believes in biblical marriage-a commitment made between two people before God that for better or WORSE, they will stick by each other. Man and wife have a responsibility TO EACH OTHER. He left for two years, abandoning all responsibility, thinking throwing money in his wife’s direction was “fulfilling his duty”. It wasn’t. He failed as a husband and she failed as a wife by betraying her husband. They’ve been married 18 years. Maybe she has a shopping addiction. Maybe he’s a serial philanderer and this was her get even. God only knows. But to act like this guy is all innocence and she bears all the guilt is ridiculous. They both failed and we’re getting only a tiny portion of the story of an 18 year marriage. Shame on all you people who think the answer is to abandon the marriage. No wonder our society is in the state it’s in, and no wonder Dave has to spend so much of his time stating the obvious. Because we’ve become a nation of irresponsible morons.

Emmaline G so with your logic if he cheated on her and made her go work a job while he sat around, you would still say to go to therapist. I think not I’m sure your bible bashing religious nuts would say divorce, only reason saying what u are is because he is a man!

@@John-vj6ss Would that be your (or Dave's) judgment if the husband had been military and deployed to Afghanistan or some other hotspot for that period of time? We don't know if that's the case or not, but if a spouse is away for long periods of time due to work, that's no excuse for the other one to let everything go down the tubes. She committed some sort of fraud, probably, to clean out the 401(k), and where is all the money? Dave forgot his usual "virtuous wife" quote, which includes a bit about the husband's heart being able to trust in his wife. I feel for this guy.

agree

Alright folks... complete this sentence: "Mike, if I were in your shoes..."

Dwayne I would of lost it. completely snapped, I would of put the fear of god in her, and she would have told me what she spent the money on. "I don't know" IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ANSWER.

***** she not going to be sitting up in that house that I had to pay for because she fucked up. She either hiding that money and plan on leaving him or spending it on someone else. No way you can blow through all that money and have nothing to show for it.

I have her arrested for fraud and filed for divorce while she was in jail. Heck good chance when she cleans him out completely she poisons him to death or something and collects life insurance. That has happened before.

And Dave said he abandoned her. Unbelievable advice by Dave. I feel so sorry for Mike.

Interlude Adventures why you love that

Chris Vandernaald I’ve been married 7 years and let my wife handle all the bills and mail, only once ever year or so will i ask what’s in our checking and what’s in savings, i could see how this could happen esp since he is out of state working

Men don’t financially benefit from divorce....ever. Unless she had an elite income and he didn’t. If he’s the breadwinner, divorce will wreck him. If he’s her financial equal, divorce will wreck him. Women get all of the leniency In a courtroom, always

He really let this man down

@@karenkramer3760 Agreed. The first words out of Daves mouth after hearing that story should have been, "get an attorney".

I agree. He traveled for work. Nothing wrong with that.

Well Dave always blame the man

Dave wants to preserve marriages

No he doesn't. He wants to preserve gynocentrism. Which, ironically, is the exact opposite of preserving marriage.

@@censormedaddy waa?

You got that right! This woman should be in jail for the 401k fraud. And Dave said she had to much responsibility by paying bills!! Ridiculous

I think he’s a softie when it comes to wives and mothers.

i like how he starts with "I ran into a bit of a financial problem." big understatement

I know right! According to Dave, he abandoned his wife by letting her pay the bills. WHAT! Poor man calls for advice and this is what he gets. Pitiful

Karen Kramer I think Dave wants to leave an impression that he won’t forget and won’t let it happen to him again

no, but if you are working out of state say 80-100 hour weeks which is not uncommon, i would say that with someone you trust that is totally believable.

Or she has reason to run from the husband...thats the only other thing I can think of.

He would have noticed before. They've been married for 18 years...

It wasn't told cause Dave was to busy telling him its his fault and the guy didn't want to talk to Dave anymore but he was to nice to just hang up on him like i would of

I totally agree with Dave!! It takes 2 to play and pay!!!