kzfaq.info/get/bejne/i9WAaMV0r769oXU.htmlsi=iJVzsD5HKgS8c6y3 Watch my latest here. ^

The fact that you have to *explain* to someone why leaving your infant to be raised by complete strangers at a time in their lives when attachment is critical is why we're not going to make it as a culture.

I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 11 years. I have 4 children. I also homeschool them. I’ve gotten all kinds of demeaning comments over the years both about being a SAHM as well as for having 4 kids. How backwards is this mindset that degrades some of the most important “work” any woman could do for the most important people she’ll ever serve.

I was a latchkey kid and I never thought it was a big deal until I had a baby. I was sitting there holding my newborn and balling my eyes out remembering coming home to a cold empty house every day and warming up food in the microwave while watching cartoons. Every thread of my being knew I couldn’t let my baby grow up like that.

When we had our girls, the attitude toward us moms choosing to stay home with our children, was horrible! We were told that it was very important to role model to our children that a mom/woman can work and be successful. I was looked “down on” and not valued in most social circles because I didn’t work. My husband wasn’t happy about us only having one income when so many others had two, and could buy video cameras, vcrs, and nice cars. It was on my shoulders that I FORCED US TO SACRIFICE! It made the hard times even harder, and yes, it took a toll on our marriage. BUT, I believed it was better for my girls, so I dug in my heals and stayed home. We only had one car for awhile, I never got my nails done, cut my own hair, bought clothes for us at garage sales, and cooked nearly all our meals……BUT, my sweet little girls had their mommy everyday, clean and kiss the boo boos, teach them to bake cookies, comfort them to sleep, say “I love you” throughout the day, teach them to love animals, witness their joys, and cradle them when sad. I would do it all over again! Now, I watch them as moms, and they are even greater than me….and I sit and think “you taught them how to be great moms, and your grandkids are benefitting”. The peaceful feeling I have today (no regrets), is far more wonderful than all the silly trinkets we would have had in our lives if I had worked.

From someone who has no kids, it looks to me that people want a family but not the responsibility of raising a family. Kinda like most people want a wedding but not a marriage.

Here is the real truth: You are not supposed to leave your kids in a daycare, you are supposed to take care of your own kids.

I never planned to be a stay at home mom. I was a teacher and I planned to work. Had my son and two weeks later told my husband I couldn’t go back. He was happy and relieved. I finished out the school year (5 weeks, after 12 weeks maternity leave). We now have five kids and I am so grateful to be home with them. We now also home school. ♥️

I was a daycare worker for 11 months. It hurt my heart so much to realize how unnatural it is for young children to be separated from their parents and put into a large group with other children. Your child is suffering overall throughout the day, even if they do have some moments of happiness.

I wanted my wife to work, because my mom did. I put a lot of pressure on her to work. She steadfastedly refused. Turns out, she was right, and I was wrong. Grown, educated, and married kids all have kids, now. They are so, so glad that they enjoyed a SAHM.

Our culture has so demonized motherhood that I’m not surprised that women don’t realize how important their rolls as mothers are. We’re constantly told to repress our nurturing instincts, and we’re constantly told that stay at home mothers are lazy or not contributing to society. It’s very sad, and it’s such a lie.

I remember being in daycare as a child and being so terrified and overwhelmed. They tried convincing my mom I had autism but I just wanted to be home with her. I remember when I could smell her scent and hear her voice and I knew it was time to go home. I have a lot of attachment problems as an adult, and daycare could be one of the causes of those

I’ve been saying this for thirty years. It’s why we took the pay hit, bought a small house, did without vacations, etc so I could be home with the children. All the desperate need for attention, mental illnesses, inability to connect emotionally with others, and anger we see as being so prevalent in the youth these days mostly stems from high divorce rates, daycare from 6 weeks old, and lack of the hours of time and attention from mom and dad.

I earned my degree in psychology in 1978 and even THEN it was taught how VITALLY important it is for a baby to have a permanent caregiver for the first three years of life, minimum. We have been lying to women about their lack of worth unless they are a cog in the corporate wheel. Thank you for this!!

For two years I worked in a very nice preschool. Infant room was $375 a week and each 6 months of age went down by $25. I worked in the 18-24 month old room. We had curriculum for each month and did crafts and had a private chef for the center. HOWEVER, the directors saw each child as a paycheck, and we were absolutely slammed full and it was so chaotic. The truth was nothing like what we advertised. Our waitlist was 6+ months in advance, and they were moving kids to the next age group waaaay too early to try to get more infants in. My 18-24 month class became more like 12-18 months. We couldn’t follow all the curriculum and have one-on-one projects because there were too many children in the room and it was hectic. Our policy allowed up to 15 kids in my room, but legally we could have 18. Can you imagine caring for 18 toddlers with 2 other adults? Someone was always crying. Someone was always getting hurt. It was a nightmare some days. And when you really start to bond with a child and see them really blooming and coming out of their shell, they are moved to the next room and cry for a week straight and regress on their skills. I now have a 3.5 month old son and feel so blessed to be home with him and not have to send him into a packed center like that.

I was young and dumb. I tell my husband all the time, if I could go back and change something it would be to stay at home with my kids. Dropping them off was a kick in the stomach every time I dropped them off. Watching this video is still hard. I will live with this guilt and regret all my life. The extra money wasn’t worth it.

I was a public school teacher who quit to stay home after listening to Dr Laura rail on about daycare. I got it. When our first was born I said enough. Eventually we had three children. My husband has been supporting us on one income ever since. I homeschooled them for 15 years. They are all grown. There were many lean years. We didn’t take vacations. My kids never saw Disney World. I shopped at the thrift store. We had more than others but less than some. There were whole birthday parties bought at the dollar store. But did they miss out? I don’t think so. They had summers in the creek, upward soccer, even dance lessons, camping with the Boy Scouts and I even found a way to give them piano lessons. I was there for every sickness , every birthday, tooth fairy notes, Christmas at the mall with Santa Claus and somebody screaming 😂We were a family. Sometimes they drove each other crazy. Sometimes they drove me and my husband crazy. It was the sweetest time. These were the things that mattered. We taught them Bible too and I’m proud of what we did. It wasn’t perfect but my kids left for their Baptist college still virgins, not drug users who didn’t swear like sailors or have an STD and knew the gospel. I consider that an accomplishment for the Lord. I’ve only recently started getting my nails done. It’s great but I can’t imagine trading similar luxuries for the choice I made. No regrets.

Your employer can replace you at work without too much difficulty. No daycare worker can truly replace a mother, however. A mother, or lack there of, can shape a child's entire world.

I worked in a daycare and no matter how much love, affection, care and attention we showed the children, the only attention and love they desperately craved was from their parents and when they didn't have that, it really showed in their behavior.

I was a single parent and both my children and I cried every single day. It's affected us all for life. If you have a choice, please be with your kids. It will spare them and you so much pain.

I literally just got off the phone with my mother-in-law. I was telling her that I was having a hard time with my toddler and she recommended I put him in preschool. I have the means to stay at home with my kids thanks to my husband's income. I started looking for some tips for toddler temper management and found some along with this video. I now realize that despite her good intentions it was another way of saying I could ease my burden by having someone else do the work for me.

I was raised in daycare. Two parents worked. Always the last to be picked up. When I was older I stayed alone all summer. It was an incredibly lonely childhood. I remember it and can still feel the sadness I carried but could not express. My stomach always hurt. I knew I would be a homeschooling stay at home mom (hated school too). I’m in my 30’s with 3 kids that I homeschool. My husband knew my desires and the impact that loneliness had on me, and he has always made it work for us so that our children would not have to suffer the same. He had a stay at home mom so he values it. In the early years we had sacrifices, but now we have it all. Including amazing rich relationships with my beautiful children that I get to spend all my hours with! This video and the interview reminded me of why I do what I do. I tell my kids that this IS my career. And it’s an amazing one. Thank you

I am a mother of three boys who are in their 20's. I was one of the few mothers of all of their friends who stayed home and raised them. You would not believe how grateful they are for this and they realize our sacrifices we made to do this. When they were younger they didn't understand why we didn't vacation in Europe like their friends or keep buying bigger houses. They see the full picture now that it was our choice for me to be present every day for them. I couldn't bear the thought of someone who didn't love my children putting up with them for 8 hours a day. I was so lucky to stay home and be the mother that was there for all of their friends when they needed a hug, a snack, a ride, encouragement, or a shelter from their abusive home. Our home was the safe place on the block, for that I am ever grateful that I had a husband who supported me in this valuable work.

I’ve been feeling guilty lately for not having my 2 year old in daycare. I thought she needed to be socialized and now I know that was totally wrong . Thank you

My parents climbed the corporate ladder and I was raised in a dayhome by an amazing woman. I call her my “2nd mom”. I was in her care for 12 years straight. If families need another option than daycare, this is a great option...it’s very personalized care and makes you feel like you are with family. I am now a stay at home mom to my son, and I am nannying another little girl alongside him. It’s challenging but worth it to make it so I can stay home, and I do my best to be a solid care provider for this little girl. It’s a hard world out there economically and I feel for those who can’t make staying at home work 😢 there was no way I was going back to work; but I needed a way to bring in money. I was not going to leave my son. I just told my husband this is what I’m doing please be okay with it. I think it’s tragic when husbands are not on board. People judge me all the time and say I’m “babysitting now” in social settings to diminish what I’m doing. It hurts but whatever. I’m only raising a generation of human beings but okay. I guess I’m just a babysitter. And that doesn’t even include all the work of running the household as well. Only my husband and father truly respect what I’m doing for the family.

I worked in a daycare when I was 19 years old in 1987. I vowed I wouldn’t have children until I could stay home with them. Daycares are horrible. I’ve tried to deter many from using daycares. Keep spreading the word. My children never gave me any trouble during their teen years and beyond. Amazing results. Stay home and protect your children. Only you will love and protect them the way they should be.

As a daycare teacher, thank you SO much for sharing this. I feel pain on the daily thinking about exactly this. These babies need their parents! Only people we can get mad at is the government for making us physically work for food. Children and parents have no support in America. It’s ridiculous. Like why is a 1 year old expected to behave for 10 hours a day, eat with a fork, stand in line, sit quietly for story time? It just does not seem fair or practical during such developmental years

Im motivated to make it happen. I was just today heartbroken to leave my 3 yr old at day care. Both kids started daycare two weeks ago. My kid didn’t want me to leave and clung to my shirt. That woke me up about this whole daycare thing. This video came up on my feed at the right time.

Yes I agree. I was a single mom with NO help from my son's father. I decided to be a full time stay at home mom because I knew it was the best for my child. It wasn't easy. I moved back in with my parents, and sacrificed in so many ways. But I am so grateful I did, because my son was with me every day.

As a 35 year old man who went to daycare from 6 months old to 12 years old, I wish my Mom would have stayed home with me. I missed my Mom everyday. I was especially jealous of boys whose Mothers made them do their homework before going outside to play. Our society hates discipline and we are eventually going to pay the tab with interest.

*My wife and I decided before we had kids that she would be a stay at home mom. We agreed that we would be paying someone else to watch our kids in the most important phase of their life.* We decided that sacrificing a second income was worth it. We’re now five years in with 3 children and it one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. We’re also homeschooling. *As a husband, I want to give a shoutout and appreciation to all the stay at home mothers! I encourage you all to stay optimistic even during the tough days knowing it will be all worth it in the grand scheme. Wishing everyone the best!!*

I was raised in the 80s to be a “strong, independent” woman. Staying at home was never ever a ‘good’ idea. Now I’m 40, with both my kids at home and I’ve never been more content or happy! My husband is a happy man too, which makes for a great marriage. Keep up your good work!

I can relate. My dad was a doctor and my mom a nurse. They both worked until late night. I was put in day care when i was three month old. And then, i was put into bording school at age 6 until 18 years old. Only was able to go home on weekends and big vacations. I have had a relationship issues with my parents and I always felt like they abandoned me even though they provided me with more than enough stuff in my life. By the way, this was in Japan. I came to the U.S. and it is the same. I feel like pressured to work as a mom. I choose to stay at home with two of my kids. And i am so glad that i made the choice. I am far away from perfect and there is struggle raising children but at least my children will know I love them and i chose to be with them, which is all i wanted when i was a child. Now i am expecting the third one! I work from my home at night,but less than 10 hours every month and giving us a little bit of space to breathe. But even without it, i would still choose to raise my children by myself.

When I unexpectedly became pregnant, we knew we didn't want any part of daycare. We sold our house, paid off all our debts, and cut our monthly spending by $5k/ month so that I could quit working. It was all worth it! I am forever grateful for a husband that not only felt the same way about childcare.

This is exactly why I am utterly in shock by the lack of maternity leave in USA. There is no bigger form of disrespect towards women & unfortunately it goes unnoticed by many.

I wrote an amazon review of Suzanne Venker’s book “7 Myths of Working Mothers” in 2005 - in great support and admiration for her taking an unapologetic public stand against daycare. It’s great to find this video now. Except now I’m trying to convince my 30 year old daughter to stay home, when/if she has children. Her generation has been taught to work, no matter what, and it makes me sad. Young women have been sold a raw deal. Keep writing and speaking, Suzanne!👏👏

Culture around motherhood has changed significantly recently. I had a stay at home mom during that time when the “strong, independent, working woman” narrative was at its height. My mom confronted that narrative everywhere-family, friends, media- and carved her own path. I had an amazing childhood with my mom at home. It was financially uncomfortable for my parents, and completely worth it. Now, I’m staying home with our daughter during her first years and I have literally only encountered positivity when people learn I stay at home. I hear a lot of “I wish I had done that” from older women.

I grew up in an adopted home where both parents chose to work, not because they needed to, but because they wanted to. I was adopted at 6, and in daycare until I was about 10, then was a latchkey kid after that. Long story short; his household became increasingly emotionally chaotic as I grew into adulthood, and now I no longer speak to either of my adoptive parents because we have no relationship to speak of. For those of you who have children please prioritize your relationship with them over your careers.

I was in daycare from 9 weeks to 8 years old and as an adult worked in a daycare for 5 years. I will NEVER send my child to daycare. No career is worth it.

I left my 2 month old to go to work. I cried every day on the way to work. My husband had a head injury and couldn’t work. He took care of him for 2 months and I found out later (he never told me) that our baby rarely stopped crying when I was gone. It was SO HARD to hear this and find out years later. My daughter refused the bottle, refused daycare and then COVID let us all stay home together. Guess what? 24/7 with Mama made our kids BLOSSOM. It was such a blessing. It was so hard but so good for our kids. Thank you for putting this out there. I love your message! Mom of two

I nursed my son for 3 1/2 years and stayed home with him until he started kindergarten, I wasn’t gonna let some other woman tell me what his first word was, or how he learn to walk that day or anything else, I was the one who was there when all that happened, it brings me joy even now ,I made the right choice ♥️🕊✝️🕊

As an older mama who raised girls on my own in the 80s and 90s, I can say that this woman speaks the absolute TRUTH! We, mothers from my era fell for a lie. We were told we should show our children that we could have it all by working extremely long hours and providing a roof over our children's heads. My girls had nice clothes, good food and sometimes a vacation. What they didn't have was a mother or a father. They were immediately after birth put in the best day care situation that my meager check could provide. By the time I got off work and picked them up, there was only time for quickly feeding them and bathing and off to bed. I was too tired to even read to them. I'm ashamed now but I'm glad to be one person who preaches the importance of raising your own children! There is no greater job and no greater reward than to GET to stay home with your own kids. Please consider that there's always another option. I so wished I did. I'm proud to say that my youngest daughter has chosen to stay home with her son. She works a few nights a week and he's with me or his dad during these nights. Most everyday my grandson wakes up to see his mother's face and knows that her arms aren't far away when he needs them. ❤

I was a daycare kid. After my experiences that were horrific, traumatizing, and completely without love I can affirm that daycares are the worst possible place for a child second only to the school system. I was introduced to all sorts of sexual deviancy, I quickly learned that I had to allow myself to be abused by kids just because they had a mental illness or handicap, I was treated completely unfairly and blamed if for everything, and when I was 7 years old I became highly suicidal as a direct result of the bullying I endured. About a year after my husband and I were married I decided that I would stop working indefinitely. We now have three children that will never know the horror that is daycare. Make sacrifices, you don't need to go on a luxurious vacation every season, much less drive the most recent vehicle or have the most prestigious education. The next generation is far more valuable than any piece of paper or seasonal trip to the Bahamas much less Disneyland/world.

I raised three daughters without one day of daycare. I don't believe in leaving small children in the charge of a stranger that I know would not tend to their needs the way I could. It was only by God’s grace for you to find a way to stay home. No one is EVER GOING TO LOVE YOUR CHILD THE WAY YOU DO! Protect your children, keep them with you! “The hand that rocks the cradle will one day rule the world.” Think about it! God bless the mother’s that take care of their children and love doing it!

I still vividly remember how uncomfortable, lonely, and sad I felt at daycare from probably about 3-4. I don’t have one happy or comfortable memory. I can remember how bad I wanted to go home everyday from every year and every daycare. I thank God I am a stay at home mom and my kids will never feel that feeling.

Former daycare worker here. I've worked in several centers. Some are better than others, but all were a shitshow. The low wages are criminal and the stigma of being a "lowly" caretaker makes it so that employee turnover will always be high. Thankfully, I have chosen to remain child-free and can opt out of all of these stresses people so willingly embrace. The fact is society has great disdain for children, the elderly and those who care for them. My advice to anyone choosing to parent is to stay home or arrange a trusted family member situation. Do this by any means necessary. Even the most highly rated centers offer bare minimum care, at best. The student to teacher ratio is often too high and despite what they say, directors don't care. It's an overworked and underpaid situation that will never improve, at least not in my lifetime. You wanna pay teenagers pennies to look after your babies? You get whatcha pay for. If you have kids, raise them yourselves.

Hear me out.....I think, personally, what has been difficult is that since I was in school, the entire focus was always "what are you going to do as a career?" There was never any discussion from my parents or teachers about "what if you want to have a family and be a mom?" So when we (I'm 32) have children, it feels like we are supposed to be working and furthering our career. I've been a stay at home mom for 5 years but constantly in the back of my head is "what are you doing with your life?" Because that was SO ingrained into my head for 12 years of school, plus college. Edit: they should also be asking boys this too. It shouldn’t just be directed at girls to choose between being a parent and having a career. Yet that’s usually how it goes.

Thank you. This was so very affirming for me. I worked at a daycare for a couple of months well before I ever had kids and I hated how flippant everyone was toward the children. It completely turned me off to daycare (I'm sure not all of them were like that but they told parents one thing about their facility and did something completely different and we're touted as the best daycare around so I didn't feel like I could ever trust daycares). When we had our first child we decided that I should stay home. It was so hard financually and because it doesn't come naturally for me in any way but I kept working at it. We now have 4 children 6 and under, I homeschool, and I couldn't be happier with our decision. Our kids are so happy and free and loved, our marriage is so strong and our home really is a peaceful haven for all of us. There's so much rhetoric about how SAHMs are lazy and just don't want to work or how being home with mom as Littles and then homeschooling is not good for them, etc and the research continues to say the opposite. From the get-go it didn't feel right for me when I would think about having someone else raise our kids and I'm glad I listened to that :)

I really appreciate the middle ground of part time daycare and homeschool as I’m a single parent. I don’t feel right sending my toddler to daycare full time but part time has been a blessing in helping me get some rest during the last few weeks of pregnancy. My toddler enjoys playing with other kids, so I always try to evaluate what’s best for both of us ❤

As a former daycare worker, all I can say is- please don’t put your child in daycare. I understand a lot of single moms can’t work around that- cause they still have to work, but really if you have a husband and you are able to stay home- please stay home with your child! You have no idea how stressful and a bit sad it was for me to take care of 6 one year olds. We had 12 in a class with 2 teachers. Kids ran around screaming, biting each other quite frequently, and we couldn’t do much to discipline them- just put them in time out which didn’t help most of the time. Also, I couldn’t spend that much time with each kid, because you had to constantly watch all the kids, making sure they didn’t get hurt and having to check diapers every hour. Nap time was a nightmare sometimes because you can’t put down all the kids at once. Some kids could fall asleep on their own, but most needed to be patted. Some would cry and had to have special attention.

1000% agree! I started working when my son was 10 months old, and nothing felt more wrong or unnatural for both of us. I cried every day on my way from day care to work until we were able to rearrange our lives to let me stay home. My son was about 2 1/2. The emotional cost was not worth me trying to have a career. My son ended up with generalized anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder. It took 10 years for him to overcome it. It's our biggest regret as parents. People ask me all the time if I regret going to law school and not getting to develop my career as a lawyer and the answer is NO... absolutely not. I regret every day I missed with my sweet boy, and I thank God that it wasn't a single day longer than it was.

Love this! I’m a SAHM and wouldn’t change it. Did the work thing with small children and it broke me emotionally and physically (home chores that I usually love to do but had to do on top of working a full day). Yes women need to hear this! Love your babies, no one will care or love them like you.

I was a single mom for my first daughter who is now 27. I will tell you I was mortified that I had to use daycare. I felt so guilty and was ashamed. I remember other moms at that time looking down on me for working. Fast-forward 13 years to when I had my next child. The question I got asked the most was "When are you going back to work?" It baffled me. My husband kept asking and finally it clicked with him when I asked who do you trust to take care of her while I am gone for 9 hours? I never went back to work and it has been 13 years. Anyways, my eldest is wonderful so our my younger 2 but I still trip out on how things changed in just 13 years. Side note: My eldest never talks about having kids but my 13 year old told me last night she wants 6.

My baby was born 3 mos premature, and the doctors said "day care is not an option". I had never imagined leaving the work force when I got pregnant. Adjusting to life on one income was hard, but by the time our savings were gone...there was no way I could have put her in day care. I got a part time job nights and weekends, and our family is healthy and happy. I am so grateful that circumstances forced the SAHM role. I would have never guessed i could enjoy it, but I loved it so much I had another kid, and did it again. You can always get another job, but you can never get a more rewarding one.

As a home daycare provider for over 20 years I can tell you the truth. Moms are very sad when they first have to leave the baby . Soon they find that they have a great deal going . A 9 hour break from mothering 5 days a week . Parents have no idea how attached the babies become to babysitter .I am raising their child and when the child is 3 or so they put the child in daycare with preschool . As if the child will just forget me and attach to the next person. No way is this good for the child .

I’m GenZ, and a stay at home mom to my 2 babies. Very thankful for women like you that paved the way for us to “buck the system”!

I wish we lived in a society where moms wouldn’t judge other mothers for their decisions. I’ll do what’s best for my family and you do what’s best for yours. Daycare, SAHM, preschool, homeschool, camps, whatever. The biggest shock to me after I became a mom for the first time was the enormous societal pressure I felt to do all the things breastfeed, sleep training, baby milestones, etc. Thank God I didn’t let it send me to postpartum depression. At the end of the day, no one has a perfect plan and we should just do our best.

My mom used to bring me lunch everyday at school. My friend who’s parents earned over 1.5M a year was jealous… of me! It was crazy

“It’s like they’re going to work literally just to pay for someone else to raise their kid.” This is the realization to which we have come. I’ve been stay-at-home for just over a year now. Thank you for this video.

One of my most traumatic childhood experiences was at a daycare. I suffered from night terrors til my late 20s and 1 of the 2 repetitive terrors in them stemmed from that daycare and the other terror from a babysitter. 2 different babysitters put me through traumatic experiences and a daycare put me through another. My sister also had a traumatic experience with a babysitter while i was at school. Because of my experiences i was refused to leave my daughter with strangers and even with friends and certain family.

My kids never went to daycare, dad stayed home as I was already the breadwinner by the time I became pregnant. But the patriarchy still expected me to be the home maker, so I homebirthed both babies, lactated for 6 years and started working from home before my first baby was 2, still bringing in the bacon. It broke me, not just the patriarchy expecting me to do it all but the lack of village (in our case we are immigrants who married here in the US) made my time with babies miserable. I slept 3 to 4 hrs a day because I could only work when everyone was asleep. Dad became so comfortable with me at home doing it all. “The kids prefer you” was his response to my requests for “help”. We divorced when the kids were 4 and 6, shared custody, 50/50 time. No parent is absent and they stopped witnessing dad’s tantrums and mom’s misery. We are in a much better place, they are 7 and 9 today. I disagree divorce is always bad for kids. My parents never divorced but I never witnessed a loving adult and balanced relationship. There are many ways to divorce and there can be plenty of childhood trauma with married parents.

As a pediatric occupational therapist, I volunteered at about five daycare centers before I went to school. I was appalled at the sheer neglect by the staff and management. One example is that a woman dropped off her infant with two bottles of her own breastmilk. Whomever was taking care of this little one mistakenly gave it formula and gave another baby the mothers breastmilk. They never disclosed this to the parents. Then, as soon as a parent would drop off the child, everything looked so good, then they would put the baby in a swing wind it up and walk away and for hours the baby would just be sitting there, swinging back-and-forth, so bored that it would fall asleep. Then let’s talk about the harsh chemicals that they use to clean the table tops. Spraying in the vicinity of the children a harsh Clorox bleach. Now let’s not forget about the chemicals that were in the carpets. Most of the children that I worked with had severe allergies, and they were only three years old. Let alone the emotional toll that it took on these kids. It was repulsive. When I have a chance, I always try to talk to the parents prior to their placement in a daycare center. I have lost many friends because of this. Believe me, I could go on and on.

I worked in a daycare for 1 day after I finished high school for a job placement as part of my college curriculum, and I could barely get through the day, knowing that I NEVER wanted my children to go to a daycare, if I could help it. I was so traumatized and saddened that the kids truly didn’t get the attention they needed. I quit then and there and moved on and studied something different. Thank God I met a man who had the same values as me and knew how important it was to have a stay at home mom. 3 kids, 4 grandchildren and no regrets

I work in a daycare kitchen and am in fact standing in my kitchen right now. This is our second week of “classes” and we have new lots of new children. The screams and crying and terror I hear daily will never cease to disturb me.

Please moms don’t be fooled follow your heart. At the end we know what’s best for our family. I’m a stay at home mom and several times I’ve been ask if I send my kids to daycare because they see how confident they act compare to kids in their families that go to daycare and I’m sure that wouldn’t be the only difference. Our children need us very much.❤

"Daycare as a last resort". That's exacty how it should be. Some families can't survive without both parents working, but many can, and somehow we've believed the lie that both parents HAVE to work.

When we were expecting our third child, we did the math. After deducting the cost of daycare for an infant, commuting costs, etc., we realized I would only be taking home about $1 per hour or $80 a month. It was not worth it! I have been staying home with the children ever since. It's one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I can't tell you how much hate my husband and I have gotten for choosing for me to stay home. It's refreshing and encouraging to hear you talk. I don't regret our decision but it sure takes a lot of reminding myself that I'm not a bad mother and that my role is important to keep myself from feeling like I'm lacking in something or not enough. I sure hope mothers can see their role is so important and needed in their children's lives.

Wow, I had goosebumps throughout this entire video, your approach to unapologetically and respectfully convey the truth about daycare is much appreciated. I could have listened about this topic for hours. In my first marriage my ex husband and I were always at odds on this topic. I had two little ones back to back and never stopped fighting to stay home with them and raise them. I would even find jobs that meant I could bring them with me or I could work at night when my husband got home. I will never regret fighting for that bonding time with them and raising them myself ♥️

My daughter was homeschooled all her life. She graduated last year and decided to live at home, work full time to save some money and volunteer at the local fire department. She’s doing this while she decides what she wants to “do” with her life and decides what college she will need of any. One of the jobs she had was as an assistant in a local daycare in our small town here in SC. She was HORRIFIED!!!!! She only worked there for 3 months and when she left she had a hard time sleeping for a few weeks because she was worried about some of the kids. The daycare manager and teachers were awful. Some of the parents were awful as well. She saw kids coming in dirty, kids who who cuss and hit(4,5yrs old). Caregiver/child ratios consistently higher than normal due to staffing issues. My daughter appreciated instantly why I stayed home with them and she said even though we weren’t better off financially- she’s glad I did. She also said “hell will freeze over before I send my kids to daycare , when I have them”. Maybe those on here who think daycare is ok- should work in one for a few weeks….. touring through a daycare doesn’t give you an accurate picture of the day to day happenings.

I became a stay at home mom when we adopted our daughter. I’d planned to do that anyway, but the fact that she’s medically complex made it essential. My Esther was born with a very small amount of brain tissue due to hydrocephalus and her last brain scans showed that she has at least 5 times as much now at 10 months than she did at birth! While having a shunt in her head to drain excess spinal fluid definitely saved her life, her doctors and social workers have told me that having 24/7 bonding with me, even in the hospital (I’ve lived in the hospital with her for over 200 days of her life), has made a HUGE difference❤️ She’s developmentally delayed, but progressing so much more than her first doctors thought possible!

I worked at a daycare before having my daughter. It opened my eyes to 1.) the fact I’m basically raising other peoples kids for 6-12 hours a day 2.) that I don’t want to let someone else nor do I trust even some of my coworkers I had to be with my kid day to day If I ended up going back to work I’d be working to take my kid to work. I’ve been judged for staying home. I’m a young mom and people around me don’t understand why I would not want to work and make my own money. My fiancé is the best at “our money” and giving me money to even spoil myself from time to time. He knows my job as a SAHM is hard. I wouldn’t trade spending every day with my daughter for the world

As a mother, I could never leave my baby. Thank you for making this video!

At age 59, I have just finally finished dealing with my abandonment issues that came from my mother leaving me with babysitters every day from a very young age. This is a real thing. Thank you so much for saying it. Babies need their mothers. Please don't leave them with strangers. It traumatizes them.

I gave up my career to be home for my child’s first 5 years. Daycare was NOT an option. The simple thought of strangers with unknown backgrounds raising my child at a facility was unthinkable. Also, you can live on less. Just stop eating out and you will see how much money you waste.

I was born in 81 and was placed in daycare. It was an awful experience and I knew I never wanted that for my kids. I stayed home with my kids for 6 years. When they were old enough to go to school, I found a job at their school. My kids are now 10, 12, and 13 and I recently cut my hours back to part time. Even at the ages they are now, they still needed more of me. Since lessening my work schedule, the level of happiness in my family has grown tremendously.

Thank you for this video. As a young woman, men I've gone on dates with laughed in my face when I said I wanted to be a stay at home mother. I know in my heart that it'sthe right thing, but modern life has made people so materialistic :(

I was a single mom for a while with 2 toddlers. I tried working full time but after paying babysitter, gas, clothes for work, I was left with 100$ a week. (Early 2000’s) I thought if I stay at home and become a babysitter I’d make at least 100$ myself and take care of my own kids. I did that until they started full time school. After that I applied to work I their school cafeteria making very little money and applied for foods stamps in the summer. Bought second hand clothes, hardly ever ate out. Or even go on vacation. Doing this allowed me to work while they were in school and having the same days off as them. Yes, it was a sacrifice well worth and I’d do it again.

I have a degree in Early Childhood Development and I’ve always advocated for SAHM. I met my husband in college and told him I was going to get my degree but my ultimate goal was to be a SAHM. I put my family above a career and with my degree I’ve been able to give my children a better childhood. I’ve had uninformed people, mostly other women, speak down to me for staying home with my children. I’m not less than anyone because I’m home with my children. That’s such an ignorant thought that I soon correct. I’m so glad you are speaking up.

OMG, I’ve ALWAYS felt this way. I was blessed to be a SAHM and was able to nurse and be with my kids until they were able to go to school. I’ve always felt at the core of my being that it was a HARD NO for me to relinquish my child to a stranger at those very delicate years. I knew they needed to be at mommy’s breast for atleast 2 years, because of all the connections that were gonna be made in their brain and nervous system. I’m not a expert on the matter but my gut reaction when I was pregnant and even after their birth was to cosleep, nurse and just BE with my children. As a result they rarely if ever became sick and if they did get sick it was very short lived and it was because I took them to a gym daycare so mommy could lose some baby weigh😩 they slept thru the night and still do. I could go on and on but you are absolutely on target.

You're so right, Suzanne. I studied child development in the 80's. When we were told the next trend was going to be infants in daycare, we all said, "No way. Babies don't belong in a day care center." I have raised my own children at home, and I wish that for every child and every mother.

My husband and I planned for me to be home since we were dating. We were both raised by stay at home moms and understand how invaluable it is for me to be home. We lived off of his income as soon as we got engaged . I continued to work and saved my money to purchase a new family car and save for a down payment on a house until we had our first baby. We budgeting everything off of his income only . With a plan, almost every 2 parent household can achieve this . I am a therapist and I will say I have countless mothers who are so stressed from trying to take care of the home and family and work full time. It’s just a season , and it’s so worth it ❤ I nursed each baby for 18 months and love the bond we have because I was here for them every day. My kids are now school age and I now work (very) part time while they go to school . My family and home will always be my priority, and my career will always come second to that .

As a daycare kid who is still recovering from daycare trauma and early abandonment from mother (and society) thank you SO MUCH for stating the truth! I went through so much because of so much neglect.

Oh my goodness… this video resonated so deeply with me. I don’t trust daycares and was never going to put our child in daycare for my own reasons, but having you break this topic down in detail in this way just reaffirmed my feelings about this and is helping me to realize how important my role as a mother is to my baby. I’ve been a SAHM for almost a year now while my husband works and I’ve been so stressed out and worried about getting back to work to be able to contribute financially…so much so that it’s caused me to lose sight of what’s important and not be able to find the joy in being able to stay home with my baby. Well, all of that is changing and I am refocusing my efforts and attention on our tiny human so that I can be the best mother I can be to help ensure our baby has everything he needs to feel loved and safe and to be able to grow and develop beautifully. ❤ These are critical, crucial and beautiful years and I won’t get them back once they’re gone. Thank you for speaking truth and helping re-establish the importance and sanctity of family.

I was raised by a stay-home mom, and I couldnt have imagined not having my mom there for me and my siblings all day. Childhood was magical, as it should be. When I had my 2 kids as a single mom I was DESPERATE to find a way to keep my babies with me while working. I ended up applying to work at a wonderfully ran gym childcare (VERY different from daycare) where I could bring both my babies to work with me for less than $35 a week. They came with me to my 6 hour shifts, and my manager accomodated my breastfeeding schedule. IT WAS ROUGH though, working and taking care of my kids simultaneously, but it was so worth it. Plus on my off days, I could bring them in for 2 hours and enjoy my free gym membership by working out and taking a nice uninterrupted shower. My coworkers were like family to my kids. DAYCARE ON THE OTHER HAND....I ended up having to place them both in daycare when they were 3 and 4 for just a year and part time. My youngest was HEARTBROKEN every time I left her there. She used to lock her arms around me when I hugged her goodbye. I had such guilt leaving her there in a flooded classroom with stressed teachers. It was the toughest year but I felt I had to do it to bring more money in and support my kids. Truly a last resort as you mentioned in your video. Daycares do not have the childs interests or feelings at heart. At least most of the ones I've seen. I know that there are more montessori-style daycares now that have smaller classrooms. But still, being with mom is ALWAYS best if possible. After a year of daycare I met my now-husband and told him my dream was to be a stay-home mom. He lovedddd that about me and made it happen. I now stay home with my 2 which I homeschool and a baby. We meet more and more parents who are wanting the same for their kids My husband met a 21 year old just last week who said it was his dream to marry and have a stay home mom as a wife! I believe more and more of the youth are shifting into this direction❤

One of the worst parts of my SAH mom and homeschooling journey wasn't the outside world. It was family. My family. My in laws even worst. They assume so much of you that isn't true. So, it can be lonely but every mom feels it in their gut that they've done the right thing by their children.

I'm a mom who stayed home and homeschooled. My kids are wonderful adults! Now I watch my 18-month granddaughter a few hours a week! I love it! It's worth more than the money you think you are making! I worked when my boys were done with school. Now I'm retired and am enjoying being grandma!!❤

As a 50+ stay @ home mother, I know how difficult & rewarding the job was to care for our 3 children. As a former educator, I used to tell myself the myths you mentioned @ the beginning of your video. I’m relieved to hear we made the right decision of me staying home. I know our children have their issues, yet they are more secure than others at their ages and they know they can count on us. Listening to you has been a blessing to hear, and I know I’ll share it with my children when it’s time for them to grow their families.

I watched the interview you did with Alex 😊. It was phenomenal!! When I tell people I’m a SAHM they give me a look & I stare at them right back. I LOVE being at home with my kids & wouldn’t trade anything for it. It also blows my mind when people think both parents have to work to support the household. People are forgetting that generations before us did just fine & was able to get through it despite what was happening during that era.

As a former SAHM (went back part time while kids were at school about 7 years ago) to 4 kids - 3 grown and flown, one in high school, I can honestly say I saw *many* women around me who wanted to go to work because it was a EASIER than staying home all day with littles. I don't regret a minute that I spent with my kids at home. Though there were hard times - my husband was military and deployed often and we moved a lot- the time goes by so fast and you blink and they are gone. I miss those days sorely - even the hard ones.

Before I had my son, I remember telling female coworkers that I don't want to work for the first 5 years of my child's life because I need to build a strong bond with them before possibly sending them to be with strangers all day. I need to instill them with confidence, self-esteem, and self-respect. I need them to understand that no matter what, their mother loves them and is here to support, nurture and care for them. I never got any of that from my mother because we were bounced all over the place as babies/toddlers, and I never want that for my child. It baffles me how being away from your children all day for work is so socially accepted that women give me strange looks or think I'm spoiling my son by choosing to be his caregiver all the time. That's my job as a mother!

Came across a post of a person whose kid was sick with COVID and she was looking for a nanny to take care of her because she couldn’t call out work. Seriously broke my heart. Even with your sick kid you can’t stay home with him/her, instead hire a complete stranger to come take care of the sick kiddo. 😢

Thank you so much for doing this! I’m a 31 year old stay at home mom of 3 and I’m so so so thankful this is my life. Growing up I never let myself consider it as a possibility. The world is constantly pushing children with the idea they need to “become” something when they grow up and a stay at home mother is never brought up as a worthy option. Before we had children myself and my husband would scoff at the idea of someone being at home. When I was pregnant with my first God began to soften my heart on this. I remember telling my husband that I thought that God might be wanting me to stop working temporarily and stay at home for a bit. He was a little angry at the idea but the moment we had our first child he wanted the same thing. Our entire mindset changed. We had her right at the start of the Covid shutdown and this allowed him to stay home and see how much work and care children needed. It blew our minds people wanted strangers to raise their children. We had just welcomed a beautiful life into the world and the last thing we wanted to do was give her away to someone else. Now I’m planning on staying home to homeschool them as well. Children are such beautiful gifts. I want to spend as much time with mine as I can. I’m forever grateful that both my husband and I had a change of heart. Also- I just want to point out that my relationship with my husband has grown tremendously since we made the switch. Living “traditionally” has been the best thing we have ever done on so many levels. I’m convinced the number one tactic of the enemy is to go after marriages and keep families as separated as possible.

I'm 53 and I've being saying this for forty years; PLEASE don't procreate unless you are willing and able to raise your own children, and not alone, but with an intact and supportive family.

I'll always have that emotional disconnect with my mom, but I know she did her best (working multiple jobs & going to college) and I have the upmost respect for her. I have just started my SAHM journey and plan on working from home. I can't imagine sending my daughter off and hoping that a stranger will care for her like I do... Not everyone is fortunate to have this opportunity and it's terrible.

My mom put me in daycare at 6 weeks old. I have so many separation anxiety issues even as an adult. My kids I’ve raised at home with me and my mom noticed that it was so much healthier for them.

I was a single mom of four for many years, I made the conscious decision to be poor rather than drop my kids off at daycare. I was judged harshly on this decision. Today I have four adult children that have an amazing bond with me. I also worked in the daycare field before I became a mother, and my daughter is following in my footsteps. It’s a personal choice to send your child to someone else and I understand people need to work. I always told my kids the first 5 years of a child’s life will shape their personality.

When I was a baby and a toddler my worst fear was losing my mom. My parents had divorced and I was so terrified of being left with strangers that it's affected me my whole life.

I’m so glad you mentioned the “having to convince husbands” bit. I stay home now, but my husband insisted I work for a year before deciding… it was a looong year. And my mind didn’t change. Now I’ve been home for a year and our family couldn’t be happier. My husband says it was the best decision we made as a family, but it took some convincing to get there. Thank you for your support to help us convince the world of what should be so natural and right.

I have raised 3 young adults that I am very proud of! I was a full time stay home mom. I did not want a day care raising my babies. I knew that life would not be going shopping, getting my hair and nails done and I became super crafty with making repairs. But the one thing that I can be most proud of is that I never chose employment over them. My husband supported me 1000% and we did struggle financially more times than not, but knew it made more sense to not work just to pay day care. I can remember those people in my past that would say that I was too lazy to go to work or they would make me feel less than for 'only being a stay home mom' instead of a working 'super mom.' Thank you for this video, I truly agree with you!