My parents have been happily married for thirty five years and if there is one thing that I’ve learned watching them, it’s that there is no life hack that can guarantee a successful marriage. The only way marriage can work is if both spouses (emphasis on both) are in agreement that they are going to do what it takes to make it work. My parents have been through the better and worse, richer and poorer and sickness and health but they’re still together after all of that because they want to be together. You can learn everything you can about a person by living with them or dating for a long period of time but none of that will matter if you both aren’t willing to do what it takes to make a marriage work.

Not living with anyone before Marriage. Not doing wifey duties at girlfriend prices.

I’m not shacking up with nobody unless we’re married. I’m not Netflix, I don’t give free trials!! Girls please respect yourselves, don’t let guys use you like that.

My wife and I were friends for three years first. Then, we dated for 51 weeks but still lived at our own parents' houses because both our cultural backgrounds forbid us to live together before marriage.... 15 years, 2 kids, 2 dogs later... so glad we waited. I think being friends first made our relationship work ❤😇

I agree with MC Lyte. If it's going to work then it's going to work whether you decide to move in before marriage or not. Whichever option you chose you just want to make sure that you guys have good and solid relationship fundamentals like communication, trust, respect etc. That's what really determines whether things will work out or not.

My soon to be ex husband and I didn’t live together before marriage and let me tell you, there are certain things a dishonest and emotionally unhealthy person can hide about their personality when you are not seeing them every day. It’s easy to be on your best behaviour or play a role when you only see someone for a couple of hours each week.

Marrying someone and being locked in a commitment before knowing what it’s like to live with them first has always seemed crazy to me. Living with some takes the full veil off. There’s no hiding yourself 24/7 and experiencing someone’s true self for the first time AFTER you’ve already agreed to commit just doesn’t make sense in my opinion.

I've seen too many folks get too comfortable with just living together and one person is stuck for years waiting to get married because they're told "we'll live together and we'll get married in a couple years." And it don't ever come 🥴

People/couples need to do what fits them. There's no one size fits all to life. Do what works for YOU BOTH.

I grew up in a household where it was strictly forbidden to live with your partner before marriage, HOWEVER…in this day and age I can absolutely see why people would want to live together before marriage. It’s such a huge risk and adjustment and it’s nice to know what you are getting yourself into before you’re legally bound to be together - because that definitely adds more stress once it’s too late to leave without divorcing.

One of the cons that isn't discussed enough is law suits. When unmarried couples go to court looking for compensation, they are quickly denied since there weren't contracts or sufficient evidence of just compensation (Large items like homes and cars are exceptions). The court was not made for boyfriends & girlfriends. Move in at your own risk.

I have never shacked up and don't plan on it. Now I am not a prude, but I just don't want to share my space without a concrete commitment.

There’s actually an article that just came out from the Wall Street journal that talks about how it’s better not to live in before marriage.

I’ve heard too many horror stories to move in with someone I’m not married to.

MC.LYTE you were really on point when you mentioned what your pastor said and Lani quickly cut you off thinking she is smart because she didn't want to hear that part. Your pastor was right wait until you are married before you have sex. One of The reason why most couples get divorce after marriage is because we have already defiled the bed with the same person or with a different person before we got married to them and then we forget about serving the Lord genuinely and repenting and being obedience to his ward, instead we start to live our lives according to what we want and not God s way. So the hedge is broken and the serpent then bites. MC Lyte you are on the right path please don't change your mind no matter what anyone says. God will back you up. 🙏

The thought of moving in with my “husband” for the very first time, having no idea HOW they live before we got married, terrifies me!!

I totally get why some people would like to live together before marriage, but I can only think, that it will take the excitement away when it’s time to get married. The only thing that will change is your last name at that point, which is why when couples live together, many times marriage never comes. I think there’s phases in relationships for a reason and I would love to enjoy each phase: dating, bf/gf, engaged and then marriage. Moving in together should be a fun process when engaged/married. I think doing so too soon takes the excitement away in my opinion.

i love how MC lyt dont play. she straight up spoke about the biblical view. she didnt try to sugar coat it coz Garcelle had given her worldly opinion. yet she was also able to discuss things on a worldly level with the sex and the city bit

I got pregnant at 22. Moved in with my then-boyfriend at 6 months preggo, got married when our baby was 2 months old. We've been together 8 years, married for 7, and now have a total of 3 kids. They say year 7 is when most couples divorce lol. But we're stronger than ever!!!

I am confused when couples live together for 3 years, 5 years, 9 years ... get married and than divorced in a year or 2 🤔 I don't get it. What changed?

Me laughing in Muslim 😂😂. We're not cohabiting NOWHERE without marriage fam. Religiously conservative folk (of any religion) where you at? Do you agree/disagree?

100% think it’s ok to live together before being married. You should know who you’re marrying. Religion likes to do a lot of things to control us but you have to do what’s right for you and getting married is a huge legally binding commitment that’s very expensive (literally and emotionally) to undo.

MC Lyte kept it 💯!!! No moving in before marriage. I like that she doesn’t sacrifice her values to fit in.

I think the people who have a problem with this are those who have more traditional way of thinking ! Cuz back in the day it was looked down upon to be living in the same space with someone ur dating and not married to! But now it’s seen as a more open minded way of getting to know ur partner before u get married! Cuz I wanna know ur habits when ur in the house… do u take off ur shoes when u come in the front door… do u show before u go to bed or after u wake up… do u snore… I need to know it all !

I think people should just date in a smarter way, without rushing anything. Spend time with him and his friends, spend time with him and his family, get to know his inner circle. All this will give you important information. Look at the family background, his financial discipline, his ambitions, your core values vs. his. etc.

I see nothing wrong with a couple living together before marriage, my cousin did it and it worked out well for her and her now husband. It gives you insight into what you are getting yourself into, what you can stand about each other v/s what you can't. It prepares you for the next step.

I am LOOOOOVING Loni’s look!!! Absolutely beautiful 🔥🔥🔥

The red flags you ignore now will be the reason you break up later 💯. If we cant properly cohabitate together, why would you want to get married and spend the rest of your life with that person? You could love each other so much but then time you move in you cant stand each other. Each person can still have their own place, but occasionally you can spend weekends or holidays together so that way you can see what their living habits are like but still having your own space to go home to in case things don’t work out. And if each person still has their own place there’s no reason to fight over money and have this worry that you are stuck with a lease. If you decide it doesn’t work everyone can go their own separate way easily, but divorce is harder and a much lengthier process. You wanna know the good, bad and the ugly when choosing to marry a person.

Thanks for answering my question, ladies! For context, I’m 24 & he’s 27- I’m Hispanic and he’s white- we have different customs. He’s not pushing me at all! But I’ve been thinking about the pros and cons here. I like MC Lyte’s advice “when you’re married, act it & when you’re single, act it.”!

Nope. I don't judge others for doing it but no. It's a mutual respect thing for me. I also don't feel like it's right to trial run a person. That's not to say that it's not risky to marry, but if you're not willing to take the risk, don't get married at all. People are crazy out here 🤣🤣

The question seems to assume marriage is the end result, but I don’t think everyone that moves in together necessarily is thinking marriage as the goal, especially these days where marriage isn’t a necessity like it was in the past. And worse case scenario with a break up, it’s still less messy for an unmarried couple to end things and fight about a lease and some possessions, then it is to get a divorce and fight about everything and drag on for years, affecting every aspect of your life.

Sometimes living together before marriage can keep you in the relationship longer than you should have been in it because you don't feel like going through the adjustment of a break up and moving etc.

The main con I see, if things don’t work out. Usually, financial they are not able to go they separate ways. A situation you never want to put yourself in

I'm not moving in without the marraige certificate lol. Im doing wife duties as a girlfriend

It’s better to get to know ur partner while living with them imo bc then you’ll know their habits and how they take care of things! People just marry to marry without actually knowing how a person lives

Communication is key asf

Last year I spent a week on vacation with my bf of a few months. That was my first time ever cohabitating with a guy and honestly I’m glad for having that experience. Being with someone for 24 hours, cleaning and cooking etc showed me a lot. I grew up in an extremely strict household but this notion of waiting for marriage to do things, to live together is just more risky. Having experienced being sexually incompatible with someone, I think it’s important to know that beforehand.

Adreain well done again for being smart loving you more now God will always support his own. 👋

Living with a person can really show you who your partner is

I think it's normal to move in together me and my partner have been together for 5 years and lived together for 3, I'm 20 and he's 22 also in the U.K. And we are not engaged but he got me out of a horrible home life we have never had any serious issues with each other and it's made us closer marriage isn't everything, I can't wait till we are married but there is no rush

The issue is about the "Pros" of living with someone before marriage is that it's ALL about self and Jesus Christ is NOT apart of or involved in it.

Everyone will have their own opinions based on their experience ...do what works for you. There is honestly no golden rule or guarantee a relationship will work out in the long haul.

I honestly believe you need to live with someone in order to really get to know them. You get to see how they’re living, how they take care of their responsibilities, etc.

I wouldn’t want to live with my boyfriend because who’s to say if we end up breaking up our names are on the lease we would have to be “roommates “ until the lease is up

There is no con to living together before marriage. “Dulling” a relationship before marriage is stupid because if you were gonna tire of them in so little time before marriage, you will during it and divorce is a dumb bitxh. You see who ppl really are when you live with them. I’m with Garcelle on her stance with kids, that makes sense. But all that other stuff except for religious reasons I guess, is not realistic

Adrienne is me whenever someone starts to talk about sex and the city. I get excited as well.

I'm with Lyte on this moving in together concept. Till date, and despite the many pros I've heard like what Loni read, I still don't get the need to do that if you aren't married. I don't think marriage is an institution that can be rehearsed. I believe it takes divine grace and guidance, genuine love, dedication, diligence, and ability to compromise by each party to the union. If you feel you both aren't ready to apply all the above, then don't deceive yourselves living together in the name of rehearsal; unless of course, the 2 of you have decided not to ever get married but to remain informal life partners. This is my opinion.

Studies also show that couples who do not live together before marriage have a lower divorce rate.....

I absolutely agree with living with your boyfriend or fiancé before getting married. I’m not saying you have to be intimate if your not ready for that. There can be boundaries. But I believe you don’t fully learn about someone until you on your own together. You learn a lot about someone. And you may find out you may not like someone that much afterwards. It may sound stupid but we all have our own little things that can annoy someone that can be a big issue for others. And you may find out you not really ready or want to marry that person. To me it’s better to find out then to get married and realize you can’t handle it

Living together before marriage doesn’t automatically mean you’re at a gf/bf level. It could be that you’re engaged and not married yet. I do agree that it’s good to know what kind of person you’ll be dealing with 24/7 before binding each other with marriage plus it’s easier to just give the ring back and walk away if you feel that they’re not the one for you vs getting a divorce to leave a marriage. I totally agree with the as long as you’re at least engaged approach.

You don’t truly know someone until you live with them

My 1st marriage was a mess. We met at 15, started dating at 20. Engaged at 22, married at 23 (both Catholic Virgins on our wedding day). 1st daughter at 24, 2ed at 26 divorced at 27. I met my current husband the same year. At 28 we were living together. We lived together for 2 1/2 years be4 I got pregnant with our 1st. At 30 I had our son, 32 we had our daughter. At 35 we got married. Been married 12 years together almost 17. We have our ups n downs but were n it for the long haul. Living together did help us b4 marriage. I needed time, because I had just gotten divorced when met. It took me some years to get myself together, n love myself again. So I dont think it matters at the start as long as the middle n the end is what u want.

You need to live with a person to experience their true energy mixed with yours. That goes for romantic or friendships etc. That's why they say dont live with friends lol cause in some cases it'll end after that vs living with an acquaintance or stranger and actually building a bond and becoming closer as a result.

Loni looks fabulous I love the colors on the ladies🤎🤎

I live with my partner now and we're not married and it works out.. I don't feel married which is good because I'm not sure if I want to marry yet.. I feel like I learned more about him living together than not living together and I feel like we're just like any other dating couple.. Also, we had a long-distance relationship and I moved here to try the relationship out so I essentially had nowhere to go so we moved in together.. Just see what works for you and your circumstances... I would usually say not to move in together before you guys are engaged/married or been dating for at least 1 year... But under my circumstances, we just fell into it. 🤷🏻‍♀

Yes Mc Lyte! If you're married act married and if you're single act single!💯❤💕🙌🥳🥂🎉

I don't believe in playing house. We can live together when we're married. You have to make it work and everything work when you're married that is the deal that is till death do us part.

My mama always told me to never stay with a person before marriage and I never have. My brothers did with their significant others though. 1 couple is fine and the other is going through divorce. So it just depends on the people

I had an incredible opportunity to see MC Lyte's brothers perform before she even became an artists. Check your hip hop history. Also to see her on a discussion panel along side, Eva Garcelle and other's at a women's conference in Baltimore Maryland. She is beautiful and intelligent.

If you decide to live with your partner because it’s cheaper it doesn’t make sense because when you’re married it will be cheaper anyways. Just shows that your living together for convenience. You’ll just end of living with everyone you date when it doesn’t work out with the previous person

i wanted to hear what her pastor had to say before Lonnie cut her off…

Have you ever heard the metaphoric phrase “Lyte as a Rock”

“That’s what I did with my ex-husband.” Nuff said. Lol

Mc Lyte is correct living together is more of a disadvantage than advantage. Marriage is the goal not faux marriage.

what about if they have sex and she is pregnant? but my mom and dad were living together and then my mom got pregnant with me and mom, s uncle told her you guys need to get married. And then they did.

I disagree I had to move in with my boyfriends family of a year because my living situation wasn’t good at home . So it all depends

I’m single been single for a long time idk if I wanna be married but if I did I’m moving in together first because I need to see how you are around me 24/7 how are you around your family and friends and I mean how u really are not that fake Façade that everyone puts on in the beginning of the relationship Idk why some people look at marriage as a concrete commitment when half of marriages end divorce some married people out here thinking there partner is fully committed to them and they really arnt js I’d rather move in first and at least know what I’m getting into and see if your even worth marrying

Im with Garcelle a ring and date! Also make sure you guys have been dating for atleast a year and then live with that person for atleast a year before you get married.

The idea of either don't live together completely or live together for a very long time before marriage is both wrong. First, there are lot of things you don't know about a person till you live under one roof with them. For example, I didn't know that my ex wife never ever want to clean her home even after being married. During dating, every time we had sex in her bedroom, the room was always neat and clean. Also, her house was super clean. But after marriage, I learned that her mom did all the cleaning for her. Another things, she had no concept of family finance. During dating, I was the one who foot the bills most of the time when we were out. So I really didn't know how she handled her finance. But after marriage, I found out that she is the type of person who would spend $99 for every $100 she earned from her job. She never ever safe much for raining days. How could you have a marriage life with someone who does not clean, does not cook and spend every penny you have earned from your job? So, please share a life together for sometime before deciding if the person is marriage material.

Loni’s eyelashes

I highly suggest that people do not move in with their partners if they know they want to marry them, but give it a shot if you want to. I know every relationship is different, and some people do not want to get married at all.

absolutely never moving in w a man before marriage, guess I’m traditional in that way.

When you lived together you get to see how people keep their house.

Moving in doesn't make a difference in divorce rates. People who don't move in have lower rates of divorce. Correlation does not equal causation though.

Anyway, I think the person who gets the bad deal out of a cohabiting situation is usually the woman. I have often heard 👂 women complain that their time was wasted because many of them start living with a man with the hope of marriage 💑 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

Her pastor said if you’re single you should act like it? What does that even mean

You do see a dramatically different version of a person after living with them. Romantic relationship or platonic.

I refuse to move in with a guy and act like a wife with a girlfriend title! Nope! I see so many women move in with a guy and they never marry them! It’s 10-15 years later and now kids are in the picture and no marriage.

Love McLyte !!!!

Loni I Love You but, GOD Blesses a Marriage. Shacking makes You Obligated to do duties of a Married yet no real commitment. Once You give Your All then that person can bounce & Marry the next who didn’t Give in.

I just wanna do loni’s make up she’s so beautiful and I don’t feel like they ever do her justice

The pro is you get a Quick Fix for your needs for a partner. Cons are a whole lot. Most important,your partner has not been Vetted by your Family and Friends. He could be having serious faults you may've overlooked with the romantic waves sweeping over your mind 🤔🤔

all these Keisha’s saying they won’t move in with a man unless they marry them don’t nobody wanna marry y’all. and second marriages does not stop a man from cheating. y’all always be baby mamas

3:01 The assumption is that living with someone for TWO years is ENOUGH to know them? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 . People grow and evolve. The man you cohabit with for two years may become a totally different person once he becomes a father or once his financial situation changes etc. Anyway, what do statistics show, do couples who cohabit stay longer in marriage?

This is a quote from my grandmother why buy the cow when you can get the milk free, sex will always complicate a relationship if a man really wants you and you really want him before you get into any sexual activity you need to find out what you are dealing with.

To me I prefer not that whole seeing how you live like are you paying attention with who you dating signs are there

If it was me. definitely wait for the ring. Also depends if he was living in his parent's house or on his own. I don't want to end up like the maid or have a pig stye since I don't clean much. Learn more before marriage what the person is like. Better break up before than after married or just suffer. Especially for the kids if you end up with a lazy, inconsiderate spoiled brat. Technically live together but not tell the older generation who has those views.

No living together before marriage. It's a sin and offensive to God. Yes it is harder to resist temptation of sleeping over etc but very worth it

Loni looks gorgeous

loni I feel sorry for your left eye. That lash is covering your whole eyeball 😂

This screams American to me. I’ve noticed Americans have the tendency of getting married very quickly (after 1 year of dating) and are less likely to live together before marriage. Personally I first of all want to get to know you well so I for sure won’t marry you after short time, but I also definitely need to live with you before. It’s also much smoother process and makes it less hard to adapt to the changes

Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled

I’d like to see a host on here who is not traditional, doesn’t make things about religion, and that doesn’t expect marriage to be the next step. We are in a new time y’all. Some of us don’t want to marry

I think it goes both ways, men can say the same thing. Anyway most (not saying everybody) people have sex before marriage anyway so more than anything it’s just for conservatism and not religious purposes.

I think living with someone before marriage is okay if it is a serious relationship and you see a future with that person. I don’t see why people still continue to judge people for that. Some people don’t believe in marriage but still want to be in a long term relationship .

Loni's eyelashes!!

I would rather live with them first before we spend all that money on a wedding and you realize who they truly are because people can hide themselves if your not living with them they could have bodies in they basement or something or don’t like to clean or their very controlling.

Summn about Loni still rubs me wrong, can’t put my finger on it. She strikes me as I don’t know....and ma’am those lashes are a no go.

When you have a baby and live together before marriage…not a good thing! When you finally married what did u save?

This must be an American thing because in England you date, become boyfriend and girlfriend, move in together, get engaged, married but people don’t even care to get married anymore because wits just a contract. Live with the person for at least a year before you get married