No, it’s because you have empathy as a good person and she’s explaining very serious and disturbing psychotic mental health problems, and if you’re very empathetic then your mind is imagining her symptoms and it’s causing subconscious anxiety and fear in you. It’s a compassionate character trait to be very empathetic, it means you often think about others and aren’t selfish.

That's awesome! I had an old beagle mix who would do the same. It's cool how intuitive dogs can be and lovely when they help as service dogs even when untrained.

Classic 😆

Thank you so much for your comment. I'm so glad my experience/vid could help, thank you for letting me know. Best of luck to you and your soon to be wife. It's wonderful that you're learning and supporting her.

In my case the trauma-based hallucinations and delusions remitted with therapy, so it was due to trauma. I do consider myself connected to the spirit realm in terms of the collective unconscious. And some of my delusions were based on things that do happen, as you said, which made the untangling difficult. Thank you so much for your comments.

I'll read that book. "Active imagination"? Who is the author? Thanks! Another really good book is "The Inner World of Trauma" by Donald Kalsched.

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad to hear you're also striving to understand your situation and approaching healing with nurturing and self-compassion. Thank you very much for reaching out <3

Thank you! <3

I'm proud of you for seeking help! All the best for treatment and your future.

Hi, g (seans) thanks! I'm doing okay. Had some setbacks due to a couple big traumas that impacted me pretty badly, but we're also doing well, getting healthy and growing roots. Thanks so much for thinking of us :) We have lots of video ideas brewing, and perhaps I should record a catch-up soon, too! All the best to you, too <3

Thanks for taking the time to reply.(we've neglected to find your name before I started typing but you likely know how hard it is to re-start/get back to something so I'm going to catch up on the name part with apologies. Good that you are OK - awesome would (will) be great - hope to get there ourselves :O). You seem strong so I imagine the traumas were tougher than you're framing, as it were. Not surprised about the tough part - we know it goes with this situation but we want to highlight yours nonetheless - toughs not easy, it's just 'in the kit'. What other people may not/can not see is that the 'tough' we have and show is often all that separates us from total disintegration - at least it can feel that way. Just that part of DID alone is or can be completely exhausting - I'm done with the dramatic part haha - just wanted to acknowledge that if it is something you(s) experience or experienced as well. So we celebrate you(s) are getting healthy and growing roots! :O) cheers and kind regards, g@@tendingourgarden

"The 'tough' we have and show is often all that separates us from total disintegration - at least it can feel that way. Just that part of DID alone is or can be completely exhausting" You hit the nail on the head. You put it into words. Thank you so much for what you said, it's so nice to know someone else who understands. <3 Doing awesome WILL be great for both of us--we're on our way :)

Hi again. We looked for your name - a name - to call you - didn't find one and that's cool, just want you(s) to know we think about that - cheers We have found - I have found - discovering community - real community - not the 'circus' you can find easily on various platforms - we don't go there or judge that - it's just not what I'm referring to, which I know you get or I/we wouldn't be taking this time to share, as it were. We take the time when we can to make these connections - where we find them as with you(s) - as much for us as to help the persons we are reaching out to. So here's another only those who 'are' know, so to speak: No one could possibly understand (I know we don't but we experience it) No one can truly understand how a form can sit for weeks at the top of the pile - an important one - one that would/could help or relieve some thing if we would just write a few simple facts on a form and send it on it's way. Or it might be a task or a call unmade - anything. Somethings like that can sit and accumulate and remain undone - frustrating those around us or those trying to help. That is something else you(s) might relate to - something that suspends our action and, to the outside 'viewer' seems ludicrous and so easy to rectify. Maybe that resonates with you(s) - the point is there are many things that can only be understood by those with the disorder that are so difficult or impossible to articulate, and seem unnecessarily self destructive yet are a part of the struggle, as it were. Anyway that was long winded - I hope it gives you a further sense of community - take good care of each other and here's to your continued understanding, healing and a safe joyous future - kind regards, g (++)@@tendingourgarden

I relate to that very, very much--maddeningly so. It's true, that sort of thing really impedes my life and frustrates those who care about me, and tends to bring a great amount of shame. It's a big relief, as I'm sure you understand, to know that you understand this too; as a weight shared is halved--and it's good to be reminded that is part of living with these disorders/coping mechanisms, because even just hearing that helps me a lot to feel less ashamed and more self-compassionate. Community and shared perspective and support really is so important... That's the biggest reason I chose to make this channel, and I really value this space we have. Thank you again for reaching out, I appreciate you. Be well, and may you feel the peace, love, and joy that life has to offer <3

It varies. Sometimes I am very aware of it, and it feels like a switch is flipped, and I will notice my vision change, like I'm being pulled back into a tunnel or looking through a fog. Sometimes I'm semi-aware, and will notice that sounds are muffled like I'm underwater, or I will start hearing conversations going on between parts inside (due to DID) but this feels like standing on the outside of a circle of people talking when they don't make space for you, so you pick-up on the conversation midway and don't know what they're talking about. Sometimes I'm not aware until I have a sensation of "waking up," where I suddenly feel alert and aware, and only then realize that I was not before due to the contrast. It sometimes makes my body feel invisible, or too big, or too small. It often feels disorienting, like I can't properly place my body in space. I've had times where it's made me bang into walls or doorframes, or forget how to recognize and get from one place to another. Sometimes it makes it so I can't understand language--I can hear the sounds spoken by others around me but it doesn't have any meaning. If I try to read, I just see random symbols but can't decipher them into words. Often it's quite peaceful. It turns the dial down on outside stimuli and serves as a reprieve against overwhelm (It's definitely a coping mechanism). But sometimes it's just disorienting and overwhelming. It can even feel like I'm being pulled inward and collapsing, like imploding, and sometimes it makes my head or body physically do this. I used to feel scared and think, "What is happening?" "Am I crazy?" "Am I a ghost/did I die?" "Will I be stuck like this forever?" Things of that nature, when I had less awareness of what dissociation was and how to get grounded. Now I tend to feel a bit annoyed or surprised, or just curious, and think, "Oh, I just got really dissociated, I wonder what caused that?" and then I'll try to check in with my thoughts and feelings, think about what was happening previously, to figure out what I am needing in that moment, and what is making my psyche feel the need to defend in this way. (All that being said, it happens to me far less drastically now than in the past, thanks to learning how to stay grounded and regulate my nervous system, so yay for that! Recovery is possible.) Thank you for your thoughtful and interesting questions :)

The things I know and the things that the brain does is unreal. It makes people not want to believe it is real. When you are physically mentally, sexually abused as a child,it shapes your mental health. I think it’s called trauma regression it happens and it real.

Thank you for commenting. It's always nice to hear from others who relate. <3

Thank you! It was vulnerable to put out there, and it is really hard to "show"--I appreciate your comment! <3

Thank you! And I appreciate that. I've recently come to terms with a diagnosis of BPD, too. BPD is really hard, sorry you're suffering, too--just the fact that you're here means you're strong. Thanks again <3

I think an early sign for me was being 3 and feeling highly alienated or like I was living my life through dissociation. already aware of things and understanding very confusing situations even for adults but I understood and knew how to behave and react etc. now though.. it feels like I’m going through a cognitive decline. And the more I try to heal myself the more profound and “spiritual” my experiences have felt.

Finally to add. Sometimes these psychosis symptoms can be extreme and influenced me to “ prep for end of world times in the means of an hour” BUT I’ve had more experiences where I have been told something by a figure (shadow or light) or shown something and then it happens or it’s true.. so is it all delusion ?

I'm sorry to hear you relate, but glad to connect with others who experience similar. To share more relevant info: an important distinction is the difference between trauma-based hallucinations and delusions, and psychosis. In the former, reality-testing is intact--for example, you are aware that a hallucination is a hallucination. In psychosis, reality-testing is not intact, there is thought-disorder, etc. I have and describe primarily trauma-based hallucinations and delusions from CPTSD, etc. I have experienced episodes of stress-induced psychosis, but primarily deal with the trauma-based kind of hallucinations and delusions, with reality-testing intact. Trauma-based hallucinations and delusions improve and remit with therapy and do not respond to antipsychotic meds--I'm not a doctor, but based on research and my experience. I've been meaning to make a new video clarifying further, but want to share as you relate. All the best to you.

That's so thoughtful of you to ask <3 I'm doing much better. My depersonalization/derealization is way better thanks to grounding, regulating my nervous system, integrating trauma, etc. It still happens occasionally, but rarely, and I'm no longer stuck in DP/DR as a chronic state. Unfortunately I went through some present-day trauma that exacerbated my CPTSD & DID a bit, but I'm coping and on the road to recovery. Thank you <3 I hope you are well, all the best to you.

@@tendingourgarden im glad to hear the first part, im sorry that you experienced more trauma since then. Your journey has been really helpful to me. Thank you for all your videos. I hope everything works out well for you

I'm not 100% sure, but I think other cluster b personality disorders don't relate to structural dissociation the way bpd can..if that makes sense 😅

Great question! My research for this video on structural dissociation only described BPD out of the cluster B disorders. However, all cluster B disorders are described as 'defensive reactions to trauma' so all would fall under the similar spectrum of trauma disorders as BPD, PTSD, CPTSD, OSDD, & DID. Additionally, I've come across descriptions of the other cluster B disorders as structural dissociation--for example, many involve disconnect and dissociation of the vulnerable inner child, and the presence of a protective part. However, there is not as much research done into the other cluster B disorders as types of structural dissociation as there is for BPD. Also, BPD specifically involves instability in sense of self and disorganized attachment, so more closely resembles the structural dissociation seen in CPTSD, OSDD, DID, etc. Overall, I think you're onto something and I am interested to see more research done into this.

Thanks so much for sharing, this is great advice!

Thank you! It's nice to know others who relate <3

It's tricky when delusions are informed by real life, or resemble real life, which is definitely true for some of mine. It makes the untangling even more difficult!

I'm so glad! Thanks so much for your comment <3

Wow that's so cool! The almighty KZfaq Algorithm 🙌