The children is the one's who suffer because of parents.

The OP is evil. She sacrifices a child in a hissy fit because something bad happened to her? “I don’t want to be a single mom or have a child with him!” Well instead of thinking narcissistically, why doesn’t OP think about the child inside her first before murdering it?

Not the AH. some say its selfish to have an abortion. But its equally if not lore so to bring life into this world knowing the child would suffer emotionally and maybe even mentally. Now sure. No one can see the future. But then again. No one can pass judgement other than the creator himself. So honestly what im saying is irrelevant. What others comment is irrelevant. Op has free will. And can do with her body what she deems. No one is going to convince her otheriwse. Not even the father of the child. Because he cheated. And still wanted her to suffer for 9 months and hours of unbareable pain to just be stuck looking at his face for the rest of the childs life. No thank you.

Yes

They should change the law so that women cant get an abortion without the fathers concent

YTA. That kid is gonna grow up to have no father because you abandoned him. he’s gonna always wonder where you are, and something will always be missing. She should’ve been honest, but you need to stay for the kid.

You put up with the cheater and want to blame the child? Total AH.

She was warned. Now she gets to pay for herstupidity.

poor kid my stepdad hated me becuase i wasnt his i feel for him

husband just wanted to frick around, OP wanted an actual partnership with others, but husband said open relationship, not closed relationship but allowed to frick around. he's the one trying to control your life, which is not a part of non-monogamy. he ruined the marriage because he wants a herem, not an open relationship where you're also allowed to do what you want. it's time to divorce him and stick with the bf.

Disrespect. It's disrespect and overstepping boundaries. Major red flags..

i personally don’t appreciate when people have abortions, but this seems reasonable. you didn’t really want kids in the first place, and the guy who did want a kid cheated on you. seems unfair to me to keep a child you didn’t really want and to co-parent with the guy who was unfaithful to you, you’d never be happy.

She is in thewrong because abortion is equivalent to murder, and instead, you should have given birth to the child, and the filed a divorce and given him full custody, that way you wouldnt have to care for a baby, and he would have the baby that he wants without any life being taken

Youre in the wrong, abortion is equivalent to killing a child, u married him even after know he didnt want a child, you should have just given birth to the baby, and divorce him and give him full custody of the child. I wont blame him for blaming u, cause even for me abortion is something i dont like, and he might have some personal trauma

Good for you, having a kid with that thing would only hurt you. Imagine having to see your cheater ex for the next 20+ years because of the kid/visitation or having to receive his dirty money to raise that child... Besides, it was very early on when you found out so it's not like it was a murder, more similar to discharging out a small period blood clot... Have kids only when you're steady mentally, physically and financially. Don't force yourself to have kids for men who don't deserve anything.

Degeneracy ruins everything. Y'all are nasty...

I truly just don't understand, this child is 4yrs old,l am assuming that you held him.was there for many of his firsts. Love him, watched over him, worrid about him, and l am absolutely sher this child love's you. I understand that his mother cheated on you.but dous that take away how you feel about him. Devorice her, leave her, removed your self from what ever you need to do, but to take your love away from a child that is not at fault, will always wonder what he did roung, please don't punish him for her lack of self control. He will never understand, and if you ever decide to explain to him exactly what she did, his only thought will be , but l did nothing roung.The True love of a child, can never truly just end. That is, if you ever loved him to begin with.

"MOM": Actions Have Consequences. Mom made a choice that she KNEW could backfire; OP has to make choices that will be right for him. If he doesn't want to stay, then he should go. It will only foster resentment in the relationship with the child; it's already caused a rift between the mother AND in the extended chain.

If theyre asking if its okay i would tell them no. You can give to lexi what you gave to kelly. Favoritism hurts. My mom plays favorite with ky brother and sister and im left out of EVERYTHING. And it seriously hurts. I could only imagine everything good going to one and the other has to sit and feel so unloved or uncared for. Or at least not as much as the other child.

It's hilarious the amount of men that are willing to open and ruin their marriage when they find out they're not the catch they think they are. You fucked around and found out 😂

OP is an asshole for allowing the extended family to do the favouritism. They asked her whether the gifts are okay and she approves of them all. A skateboard and T-Shirt vs. a PS5 and a necklace is such a huge difference.

Yes

Abortion is a Unforgivable sin.

*Where's The Video With The Rest Of The Updates!*

Catch 22. EBS but the 4 yo. OP you suck but you dont suck because ultimately its not your kid and you and the kid are hurt because she lied. No win situation OP needs to do some serious soul searching. But understandable his pain. The Mother is ultimately the blame. OP walks its actually and sadly OK. Sad for that Baby but the Mother caused this. Yeah OP is that boys Dad but he is only the Dad because she lied. Hopefully OP cares more for the kid eventually and loving the kid is more than hating the mother.k

Man, Reddit can be so unfairly judgmental at times. Yes, OP’s wife shouldn’t be so passive. But given how nasty the aunt was to OP, I can see why. Besides, she has plenty of time to learn how to face her fear of confrontation. All first time parents have shortcomings they need to work on. That doesn’t make them bad parents. I’m sure OP’s wife is a wonderful mother.

Op has all the right to be upset. The kid is suffering because his mothers lies and using him against op is emotional manipulation.

Should have called the police and get the custody. No normal woman would try to kill somebody just because of hormones

This person knows they aren't TA.

Divorce husband, she doesn't love him anymore. Polyamory isn't the problem, her lack of love for him and their lack of intimate life is. Just break up. Stay with boyfriend.

The other comments don't agree but I think it's a pretty reasonable concern if you actually are neglecting the relationship while he does not- as you don't deny. The other comments are really only assuming and guessing his intentions based on preconceived notions. If you aren't comfortable with it you absolutely should talk to him about it and if you want you should break it off with him.

Wanting an "open relationship" is essentially saying "I want to be allowed to sleep with anyone while having you as a stable backup incase something goes wrong." The funny thing is that it seems extremely common for the person who wanted the open relationship to close it again once their partner finds someone else too.

The simplest solution is to get rid of the troublesome partner (ie the husband) and go for the newer, more comparable partner. This marriage was doomed anyway.

What I'm hearing from all this is that he want her to be monogamous. & to staty at home waiting for him, but he can go about & have multiple partners

I think that it needs to be a generally established rule that if you open the relationship, it is the other persons decision if it becomes closed again. So you better think long and hard about if you can bare to share your partner. 😅

I'm not one to say this normally, but he's an asshole that got scared because he saw you getting away from him when he couldn't be what you wanted but your boyfriend is, if you see it right. Dump his ass. The marriage is dead already from both your part and his part, it ended the moment you agreed to an open relationship, even before, it was going down when he got the idea he could fool around and you would still be OK with it.

Keeping him is 100% worth ruining your relationship. Husband can go be kinky, and OP can have someone respectful that she enjoys.

To me it sounds like she's already existed their marriage and found a partner who is more compatible with her and her husband has noticed she's likely happier with her boyfriend then she is with him. To me it just sounds like husbands choice has ruined their marriage and she's just letting him do as he pleases and he's pissed she's happy when he's not there even though it was his wish to open their relationship.

I think the big DH is the AH thing is that he just wants her to break up with her boyfriend. He doesnt want to stop sleeping with other people because for him its about kink, but he is upset that her getting a boyfriend involved emotions.

they need a deviorce clearly that marrage isn’t working and once u date or screw someone else it’s over open crap hardly ever works

It's funny how the "rules" only seem to apply when the one who didn't want the open relationships find a partner. 🙄

If you are happy he's not!!!😮never offer a open marrige!Im traditional...and if i find love...watch out!

I have a feeling he liked that it was hard for her to find a partner, because it meant he got to go out and have other relationahips and know she was at home with no one except for him. This happens in many of these non-monogomous relationship questions. Men want an open relationship (usually because theres already a woman they want to fuck but dont want to be called a 'cheater' and then think its awesome cause theyre getting some on the side but still have their main partner/spouse, but then the woman goes out and sleeps with men, and more men than he sleeps with women, because it turns out he fully overestimated his abilities to pull, and now hes home alone because his original reasons for opening up the relationship is over now and shes still out there finding men who want her and now he wants to close the relationship up again.

you need to sort out why she's feeling this way and get at it at the root.

i dont think one check in with some bad notes warrants closing the relationship, theyre not going to get any better at balancing it by not doing it. they could instead work out some specific ways to rebalance things, move forward with that in mind, and see if it helps

She broke up with him, not to his face, and HE’S the inconsiderate one? He doesn’t owe her closure or anything. He doesn’t owe her an opportunity to not feel guilty about it, because clearly she does. She’s done, he said ok. If the sexes were reversed and and he kept demanding to talk to her, he’d be a creepy stalker who doesn’t know when to let go.

Nta

That’s fucked up. My current partner is afraid of birds. Do you know what animal I love the most is? Birds. But that doesn’t mean I force birds on him, it means I put myself between him and the birds every single time and gently shoo them away from him out of respect for his fear of them. I have a flock of chickens, we do NOT live together. And even if we did I would NEVER have him do any chores involving the chickens. And despite his fear he knows I love my chickens and even though I’d give up getting more chickens for him he knows it would cause me great sadness so he fights against it. I offer to allow him to hold smaller or docile chickens but ONLY when he’s ready. I tell him if he is ever ready to try and hold a chicken, I will be there every step to protect him and he has held exactly one chicken. A very very small breed of chicken when they were a baby. And sleepy. And already sitting on my shoulder like a parakeet when he came over and I forgot he was coming. Wouldn’t let him hold that same chicken again cuz they’re an asshole now but the point remains it’s always HIS choice to face that fear not mine. And it’s MY choice and feeling of responsibility and respect towards him that has me put myself between him and his fear that causes me no issues. That’s how it’s meant to be.

Qhat she did was a dick move, but im so distrusting of people who dont like dogs that I can't even be mad about it. You have failed the vibe check. Especially a golem retriever, the gentlest dog possible and u wpuldnt even try?

My fam adopted a dog for my sister. I had talked months earlier about dogs because i watched some tv programs that made fear them less. But i still wasnt a dog person. (They used this against me. But they knew what they were doing when they left me uninformed about seeing rhe dog and the adoption) They went to the shelter my sister volunteered at and decided on the dog. She was already in love with the dog. A lot of work was done, a lot was said. In the end i still dislike dogs, but i dont hate them. I'm okay with looking after my sister's dogs (she got a second one recently with her bf), but i will never own my own dog. If my partner did this, i would kick him out. (If the place is his, I would leave) Because my partner would know I don't want one. And because pets must never be an impulse purchase. It's also one of the reasons I heavily dislike it when people gift a pet.