I so appreciate these videos and i keep them in my watch list to study and evolve. My oarents could not provide these insites to me as a child and its wild how we unconsciously carry certain attitudes throughout our adult lives.
@laurayeesnover6314 сағат бұрын
Your videos are the best. Facial expressions priceless! I've been watching your videos for years. Please tell us the secret to not having wrinkles! Your face never changes! Good diet? No sun?
@laurayeesnover6314 сағат бұрын
I really enjoy your videos. They are always so helpful!
@DriveMetodrink4 сағат бұрын
How about I know something, 😂but im not telling you nah naha na na nah look it up in a book im out of here. Not my work they charge you will sexual abuse it happened to me, another person who tapped them with an empty 🍼 so much drama i tapped someone on the shoulder.
@DriveMetodrink4 сағат бұрын
Love your attitude! A +1 Amazing!❤
@DriveMetodrink4 сағат бұрын
I prefer to look at them all like zombies
@DriveMetodrink4 сағат бұрын
You are so right why would people hang on and teach you how to fight learning to walk away with grace is better for you. GOD CAN FIGHT THAT FIGHT All of this is exhausting..
@DriveMetodrink4 сағат бұрын
Imagine a lady who lives in my area who wants my condo for a friend come up to me and touched me I looked at her and said do not ever touch me again. I do not want to ever talk to you. Sad you have to become hard.
@DriveMetodrink4 сағат бұрын
I decided to go to the Doctor and ask for a letter saying exactly what their saying about me I'm delusional insane can't dress myself have problems daily time to switch the tables..
@fraochuallas57786 сағат бұрын
Thank you for this wise, timely post. I wrote this reminder in a place i can see it by my desk to help me as i allow a challenging coworker to make their own choices.... I choose to behave differently because I have a personal compass. How liberating! But it takes reminders because i do appreciate rules... ☺️
@v4756nb1rs11 сағат бұрын
I just love you, Dan!! I struggle a lot with being overwhelmed by PTSD and it affects my ability to communicate well, especially when I am having symptoms. This video is really freeing. And sometimes, being granted permission to just be myself is the loveliest gift of all. (It also REALLY takes the pressure off, which then helps alleviate my symptoms, so that better communication just naturally follows). Bless you, Dan! Seriously!!🙏
@TheWizardOfWords10 сағат бұрын
Many thanks, @v!
@SarahRejsa-oi6bq12 сағат бұрын
😙💓💗💘💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@lhs122113 сағат бұрын
Very beneficial advice.
@vamsavardhanavijay553213 сағат бұрын
It's amazing - how deeply spiritualized your daily life is - You are a Christian in the sense of a follower of Christ's path of compassion - thank you for your journey boss
@nataliamartinez683414 сағат бұрын
So true, so wise lol my cousin used to always use that line too: ‘gasp! How could you say that?’ ‘Very easily, see?’ With a big ‘Ta Da!’ smile at the end 😁 lmao Indeed it’s very liberating when you stop worrying about stuff you can’t control anyway! However, I definitely can work on myself 🤷♀️ with varying results lol😅 You’re inspiring as always, thank you for making life more fruitful!!! 🎊✨✨✨✨💛💛💛
@TheWizardOfWords10 сағат бұрын
Thanks, Natalia :)
@emaria724416 сағат бұрын
My colleagues go so far to talk about me snd make fun pf me. In my presence. I laugh along w them, ignore them, and continue to focus on my job . If thats how they want to spend their time, so be it. I have no control over them.
@TheWizardOfWords10 сағат бұрын
Thank you for your membership and support @maria7244. And thank you for realizing that what you say is all about you and what THEY say is all about THEM. Liberating, isn't it?
@emaria72446 сағат бұрын
@@TheWizardOfWords it is! Thank you for your brilliant work!
@ashleycnossen315717 сағат бұрын
Someone who believes in truth! Publicly! So rare these days ❤
@sstpersonal20 сағат бұрын
❤🎉
@SarahRejsa-oi6bq21 сағат бұрын
Cost Benefit Analysis is always important. Then after that, just say it! 😃💖 If it's something that you think that the other person might not want to hear, then you can craft your message in a way that will be sensitive to the feelings of the other person. That is because there is NOTHING that can't be said, that you can't say in a loving way. UNLESS, Dan, you are delivering someone "divorce papers" on Valentine's Day. 🤣😂😆 Then there is just no way to soften that blow. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@TheWizardOfWords10 сағат бұрын
Yes--for you and for me--cost benefit analysis. For others . . . .
@kalynncooney71723 сағат бұрын
Such a wonderful video as always. Very liberating. Thank you for empowering us with learning confidence and acceptance
@TheWizardOfWords22 сағат бұрын
You are so welcome
@nessknows.Күн бұрын
How is it that this is exactly what I needed to hear right now? I constantly feel like I’m being disingenuous because I have to walk on eggshells to avoid saying things the wrong way because I speak very literally and logically, I’m told “it’s not what you say it’s how you say it”, I’m autistic and it’s okay if I communicate like an autistic person.
@TheWizardOfWordsКүн бұрын
You better believe it's okay for you to communicate in a way that works for you. Keep it mindful but if it's direct and abrupt that's perfectly fine
@loveroftruth8018Күн бұрын
Wizards are evil
@TheWizardOfWordsКүн бұрын
You know this from personal experience?
@gppoem3344Күн бұрын
Great video
@survivalinstinctКүн бұрын
Thank you. 🚀
@p2p2p2p2p2pКүн бұрын
hi I just want to tell u that I found your channel years ago as a socially anxious teenager and it changed my life and the way I communicate! thank you forever!
@TheWizardOfWordsКүн бұрын
That is awesome! THANK YOU for telling me.
@sunflowerskies-Күн бұрын
This is how I see it: We are done here and walking 🚶♀️ away works too. People are not allowed to behave or communicate how they like with me or there is consequences……You can’t say what you want without consequences what you have to think 🤔 about is if the person on the other end is more mentally unhinged than you…😂🤣I’d still like to see them try to make my day. I will shut that down any day of the week within my own policies in my personal time or within work policies when it’s not my personal time. My two cents although I do respect your take on things too. I’ve just been given a lot of crap 💩 in my life and I’m done ✔️ with that real talk. ❤Also not willingly complying and taking others shit releases the chains ⛓️ off of you too as then there is no passive aggressive energy and you just expressed yourself and that’s winning 🏆 my friend in my humble opinion….I generally enjoy your channel I wanted to provide you with an alternative viewpoint.
@TheWizardOfWordsКүн бұрын
Yes, there are consequences. For sure.
@ketobodybuilder2482Күн бұрын
Ill try this on my wife that feels she needs space.
@awkwardfellow6912Күн бұрын
This is good advise.
@juliefrommes4119Күн бұрын
8:02 so you like to use guilt and shame to manipulate situations for your desired outcome ? .... what if your proposal is against every moral value that I have learned through experience thus far in MY life .... why are my observations not valid and yours are ? .... cuz u da boss ? reconsider my friend.
@TheWizardOfWordsКүн бұрын
Julie, my friend--we see things very differently. Guilt and shame? Have you considered you're mirroring?
@artlego1007Күн бұрын
How do you deal with someone who rambles on and overly describes something and keeps on talking into another conversation? Like I just did.
@TheWizardOfWordsКүн бұрын
I would wait until they take a breath and quickly interject "That reminds me . . . . " and finish with whatever I want--on any topic I choose :)
@artlego1007Күн бұрын
@@TheWizardOfWords they add an "umm" in there and somehow take a breathe. It's amazing. Im just not fast enough. Lol.
@InkLifterКүн бұрын
Right on
@sharonvass8700Күн бұрын
Ha ha gorillas
@babycakes8434Күн бұрын
What do we say???To not answer them😊
@TheWizardOfWordsКүн бұрын
Just look at them for three seconds and then smile. You don't always have to speak, BC.
@elkeautenrieth10462 күн бұрын
I have chronic fatigue system, which of course worsens over the holidays, when we prepare everything. I have gotten used to handling things differently according to my energy level and it works. However, then my brother comes along and follows me around, asking again and again "Why are you overdoing it? You know I suffer with you!" I keep saying "Please just leave me to it, and to mywell earned pause." "But you overdo it, why..." Until I explode and yell "LEAVE ME ALONE!" He then is all indignation, says he only has my best interest at heart, and that I really have to work on my temper. BOY it is i furiating, hope I will now do beter with your tips - however he Doesnt believe me, this is all in myhead he says. I feel so helpless.
@TheWizardOfWords2 күн бұрын
You might say to your brother: "Bennie, perhaps you'd like to help out--here's what I'd like you to do . . . ." And then TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN DO TO HELP--instead of his standing around complaining about how hard YOU work.
@c.h.53892 күн бұрын
I know a lovely lady, who has left her extremely abusive husband, and had to move into a shelter for women who have been victims of domestic violence. She's struggling right now, because he had all of their assets in his name, and she's got some work to do before things are sorted through in her life, and she can get a place of her own. (They married as high school sweethearts, and thought that they'd be together for the rest of their lives.) In the meantime, she's living in a place that is now rife with people who have serious mental health issues; drug, and/ or alcohol addictions. My heart breaks when I talk to her because she's struggling in that environment. She can't get away from some of the more toxic women there, because they have to be in the house at certain times for meals, chores, and the evening curfew. What suggestions do you have for someone like my friend, who is only there because of a financial reason, and somewhat "trapped" around a lor of toxic, unhealthy women that are just trying to annoy her, and pick on her? The logical responses that I have suggested aren't working because she's not dealing with mentally sound people there. It almost sounds like a prison environment to me. Does anyone have any good suggestions? She can't get away right now. She doesn't have any friends, or family members, that can take her in. Even if she found a job tomorrow, it takes time to build up the assets needed to move into a new place. Nobody suggest buying a lottery ticket, please. She needs realistic solutions. Thank you in advance. 🙏
@TheWizardOfWords2 күн бұрын
I would suggest she stay in her room and read as much as possible, and that when she's out of her room and around these people, she keep her head down and avoid interaction. If she has to interact, always respond, rather than react--in other words, smile, nod, agree and don't confront or argue. It's not worth it. She won't be there forever, so survival is the name of the game until she has the wherewithal to get out of there. I wish I could be more helpful. My other suggestion is that you talk to her every night and encourage her to smile and nod and NOT CONFRONT OR REACT. Just lay low until that resume lands somewhere. And btw, it might be an opportunity to practice her listening skills, because I imagine most of the other women there want to talk about their stories. Again, listen, hear, nod and don't suggest or argue or even discuss, if she can avoid it.
@sandylu26682 күн бұрын
Straight ahead then for authorative & tilt to disarm! I love that
@oracleofdewphi2 күн бұрын
I love this!
@bewitched57172 күн бұрын
Been dealing with a somewhat sociopath as a line manager and as someone who’s not quick to defend herself (embarrassing to admit but,out of literally not really knowing how, I always get super flustered and embarrassed by confrontation) I really appreciate you taking your time to make these videos. I’m going to take so much of what you’ve said to work with me today. Thank you!
@TheWizardOfWords2 күн бұрын
You are most welcome, Bewitched :)
@UlitheUnruly2 күн бұрын
You are just the❤ awesomest.
@lightbeingform2 күн бұрын
oh that last bit is just for me, i am going to tilt my head. love love love the vibe shift of "I need your help"
@SarahRejsa-oi6bq3 күн бұрын
❤❤❤🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋😀
@bryanholland69873 күн бұрын
I have a feeling that, now that I'm promoted to Director of Security, I'm going to be utilizing all of your tactics.
@temwanimwale67943 күн бұрын
Hai Any links to material you sale on this topic ?
@TheWizardOfWords3 күн бұрын
danoconnortraining.com/store. Here you'll find my courses on this and other topics.
@Phoenix_743 күн бұрын
Gee i like your style sir, thanks for your advice! You and Neridith Miller are absolute life savers!
@Valleyzeros3 күн бұрын
I just want you to know, you have massively changed the way I communicate with others. Thank you
@TheWizardOfWords3 күн бұрын
I am grateful for your comment, Valley. Check out danoconnortraining.com for a deeper dive into communication skills :)
@livesolarge3 күн бұрын
This is great information, thank you. I am in a customer service role at a large healthcare organization. Specifically, I manage complaints and grievances that are care and demeanor related, and this work is regulated by the Federal Government and CMS. I frequently get my work interrupted from administrative assistants (secretaries) from our administrative office. Frequent requests they have are dilemmas that are presented to them that do not directly involve their work. Essentially they are the "face" of administration, and often they do not want to serve in that role. I say this because they often reach out to myself and my colleague to solve something so they do not have to. Recently we had an individual present to the administrative offices needing assistance to get a medical visa for a family member who was over in one of the Middle Eastern countries. This administrative assistant presented to my office in order to hand off this problem or puzzle. This is sort of thing is not within the scope of my role. That is what I informed her of, and that this is not within the scope of the hospital. I did tell her that this individual needed to reach out to either or both of the embassy of the country of origin or the US embassy for guidance. I wanted to tell her essentially that she had the same internet that I had, but my internal filter kept that in. What is a kind way to say just that? I frequently find others using my work role as a doormat or dumbing ground for their issues that they do not want to deal with. I like to believe that I am a kind and empathetic person, however I am also not a pushover. I also believe that in order to get selected to be an administrative assistant in a busy hospital, that they must possess problem-solving skills. Do you have some helpful verbiage to redirect other people to look wilhin themselves for answers?
@TheWizardOfWords3 күн бұрын
@Livesolarge, it sounds as though the problem starts with your training department. These assistants don't seem to know their roles--or yours. Having said that--I know you want to help the people you serve, and not abandon them to untrained assistants (who might not know that immigration problems are handled at a consulate or embassy--not a health institution). My first question to you is--do these assistants have supervisors? Who is in charge of overseeing them? Who hired them? Assuming they have someone over them, I would suggest: "Trixie, this is something your department deals with; if you have a question, please ask _________ and I'm sure they'll either have an answer or tell you where to find the answer." No matter what they say--if you feel this is something with which THEY should be dealing--smile and repeat the above as a broken record, as many times as necessary. These assistants don't want to admit to somebody (presumably whoever supervises them) that they don't have problem-solving skills, so they come to you. And that has to stop.
@livesolarge2 күн бұрын
@@TheWizardOfWords My situation is complicated. To answer your question they do have supervisors who hired them. Once upon a time before 2017 the Patient Relations role reported directly to each hospital administrative team. in 2017 this organization underwent a major reorganization in which every non-patient facing role had to re-apply for their job or another job. After this reorganization a new department was formed called the Office of Patient Experience and it rolled up to the central offices and not to each individual hospital administration. This administration team seems to not have gotten over this and now does not seem to trust our processes. I was hired in 2019, and I can tell you that odd tasks, odd requests, or things that nobody seems to want to do is dumped onto the Patient Relations role from the admin assistants. So I have to approach unusual requests bearing this in mind. In my role I frequently deal with people who quickly become dysregulated over the phone or even in person. I am always open to and on the lookout for helpful verbiage to redirect of course the dysregulated people. This is a case where the request seems to be misdirected because the admin assistant either did not want to address the issue or did not want to have some flexibility to address the person looking for help.
@rebit65113 күн бұрын
Being present is the first step ❤
@dianaarmenta75493 күн бұрын
So you say anything at all?
@TheWizardOfWords3 күн бұрын
I wouldn't say anything. If you wish to say something, I'd recommend "Why would you ask that?" No matter what they say, you say "I see." And THEN give them the three-second look.
@evangeliakaratza-styliara44133 күн бұрын
It’s 24/8/24 and I would like to get information on your classes . How do I do that? Great video ! But , do speak a bit more slowly! Thanks Dan
@TheWizardOfWords3 күн бұрын
@evangeliakaratza-styliara4413. Please go to danoconnortraining.com for information on all my courses :)