That’s quite a feat. Most people in contention for shittiest alchemist die in the process because...

"this is my normal..my nature"

Okay but to be fair, the ridiculous padding makes the sentence funnier. I know that "he spoke of the weather" wouldn't have hit so hard without the whole schpiel before it

I watched a movie with a similar plot :D

Tony the Tiger WHAT ON CEREAL?!

I hate this but still wanna hear more

Dang

Honey, I have cancer... ...and then the wolves came.

If you can fly, just fly away from prison bruh. 🦅

I thought they were gonna ask "why isn't it spelled camoflage" (with no u)

You did not make the "WONDERHOY" emoji as an UWU 😭

Damn, I clicked expecting a 30min essay on the topic

Middle Eastern here: we have a jug, pour it down into our hand which just starts scrubbing.

Why isn't the government looking into this?!?!?

Untitled Goose Car

Soviet 1960: 0:03 Soviet after 1991: 0:09

Sounds legit

Meth

Unironically it's great. People call it "brainrot" I call it inevitable progress. I remember the first time mainstream media started using words like "woke" or "cancel culture". Sooner or later we all will adopt the language

“They were girlbossing too close to the sun” quoting that from now on

i thought mossies were teetotallers!!

As a Canadian I give my vote for this eh-mazing poll, everyone shall drink maple syrup.

99:10:10 is my favourite

real

Awesome analogy.

ow

WAIT YOU FORGOT THE LAST LINE!!!!

Prologue: A long time ago, there were two peaceful nations in Bed Island. There were 4 provinces in total: My Side, My Pillow, Their Side, and Their Pillow. These 2 nations were equal with two sides each. However, little did My Nation know that a new ruler named Mittens would invade the My Side province and set up camp there. However, due to a new landscape forming called Mysterious Mound, and Mittens’s conquest, which pushed the mountain range of Their Nation back. This movement made Their Nation concerned about ending up on the Floor Ocean. Their Nation pushed My Nation back which angered My Nation. 11:00 PM: The war pushes on. Ever since the rulers of each nation declared war on the other, The mountain ranges of Bed Island slowly collided as My Nation was pushed back to the new bare coast that peeled off a layer, which ended up at the valley of the Mountain Range. It is unknown what the border of My Nation and Their Nation is. The pillows of My Nation, used as civilians’s homes, were moved by the new landscape being formed. A military base is now being constructed called Pillow Fort Province. Mittens, frightened at the change of the landscape, just fled to the Land of No Return, using Unexplored Coast. The Land of No Return is a horizontal cave that is under the sea. In fear of losing the war and not coming back, both sides didn’t want to explore the Land of No Return. 12:00 AM: I don’t know how, but they finished construction of Pillow Fort Province. Cat District is unfortunately now a puppet nation of Their Nation. Mysterious Mound is fortunately declared a National Park of Their Nation. Cat District is being turned into a strategical location, having the lowest elevation in Bed Island. It is useful to set up camp in. 1:00 AM: Cat District is revolting. “If we just take the District from the West, the District will be ours,” an official of My Nation said. That official is now side by side with My Nation’s general. The North of the Disputed Territory is now under Their Nation’s rule. My Nation now extends to the part of Blanket Range South of Pillow Fort Province. Pillow Fort Province is the capitol of Their Nation, but Their Nation decided to move the capitol to Their Pillows. The old capitol is now under siege. My Nation won the province, and now My Nation has been renamed to South Bed Island, and Their Nation has been renamed to North Bed Island. North Bed Island suddenly pushed South Bed Island to the West, at Disputed Territory’s center. South Bed Island now owns South Disputed Territory, South Their Pillow, Cat District, Mysterious Mound, and Unexplored Coast. 2:00 AM: A high mountain range forming near the Unexplored Coast may surpass the height of Blanket Range. Cat District has reestablished itself Northwest of its previous land, right at the coast in the border of the two furious nations. Mittens decided to come back from the Land of No Return. South Bed Island attacked, but was unsuccessful. Now South Bed Island is forced to give up a part of its half of what used to be Disputed Territory. However, Cat District didn’t like being owned by another nation, so it moved to Mountain Coast, the East Coast of Bed Island, just South of Pillow Fort Province. North Bed Island declared war on Cat District, but to no avail, as Mittens showed itself as a beast, to the point where Cat District took over Pillow Fort Province, which was renamed Castle Mittens. The capitol of North Bed Island, North Their Pillow is now under siege. 3:00 AM: North Bed Island is attempting to take South Their Bed. South Bed Island is fighting back. Both of them knew that the fate of the island depended on that land. However, they felt a bump. It turned out that Castle Mittens extended to that pillow. Cat District became known as the Mittens Empire. Emperor Mittens was going to take over the Northeastern side of Bed Island. The two warring nations then fought on the Unexplored and the Disputed Coasts. 4:00 AM: The roaming Mittens took over the Northern part of Disputed Territory. Eventually, in a cave of the new South Range, the two bed rivals fight for space. Then, because of 5 hours of fighting, they get tired, and both suddenly pass out. The mountain’s South wall collapsed, and now they are floating in the Floor Ocean. 5:00 AM: Mittens has won the war, very surprising that a cat of all rulers, won the war. The former rulers tussled a bit more, unaware of their actual location, until they entered the Land of No Return. 6:00 AM: Nothing happened. Mittens was still ruler of Bed Island. The two rivaling nations’ rulers were still passed out in the Land of No Return, which was still Mittens’ property. 7:00 AM: Daybreak came, with the morning alarm bird beeping. It was time for the fighting nations to wake up. They found themselves in the Land of No Return. It was above sea level, and they found ancient structures with dust on them. These structures endured long years, and were abandoned by the nations of Bed Island a long time ago. They finally came out, ready to present themselves to Mittens. They traveled to the Mysterious Mound easily, because the South Range was demolished. They knew it was probably socks, because of their research teams’ findings on the texture. They uncovered the layer of socks by taking a tunnel through the bed. They took out the socks easily. They then disposed of the socks in the washer out at the Floor Ocean. They then knew what to do. It was time to face Mittens, the emperor of the bed. They trekked on a quest to find Castle Mittens. Finally, after the short quest through the mountains, they found the Pillow Fort Province in its reformed state as Castle Mittens. The previous North ruler shouted, “What has Mittens done to my province?” The South said, “I don’t know what Mittens did to this island, but we’re going to stop it.” They then walked through the dramatic hallway, until they reached a chamber with a perch as a throne. Mittens sat there, thinking about the mischief it could cause in Bed Island now that nobody could stop it. Then, the brave former rulers told Mittens, “Ok, time to get out.” Mittens then meowed, which seemed to mean condescendingly, “Try what you can. You failed to hold me back once.” The great duel started. The duo held their spray guns out and shot at Mittens. Mittens slashed with its sword. “You’ve brought a sword to a gunfight I see,” said the former ruler of the South. “I think not,” the cat said in its sly cat communication. The cat leaped forward for that same former ruler. The North Bed Island’s previous ruler then fired the spray gun. Mittens gripped onto the top of the pajamas. The spray gun was knocked out of the victim’s hand. Then, Mittens leaped for the spray gun to destroy it, and then jumped to destroy the second gun. Mittens had made the weapons useless. Then it propelled to aim for the South’s former ruler’s face. However, it leapt into the hands instead. The North’s former ruler poured the spray fluid onto the cat. It struggled and attempted to escape, but to no avail. They then went to the abandoned vendor beyond the Floor Ocean to get another spray gun. 8:00 AM: The North ruler of the past shot the spray gun at the cat. Suddenly, the beast had been slain. Mittens fled to the outside world. The rulers were victorious.

As a Canadian, I sign the petition

Does that mean we can vote in the elections of Canada and have the passports of Canada?

I'm cool with this

Bro sounds like a Canadian from South Park

Steel does things that bronze can only dream of doing.

Oh please, who would want to PLAY on your STATIONs

I belief he can fly I beleif he is tell a lie

I will see to it King Charles sees this remarkable video.

I lost it at replie 🤣

Your supposed to use your hands to wash your ass crack 💀

As a canadian, I unironically sometimes call the US "South Canada"

I thought is said, “is that ham possessed?” 😭

Harry potter and the rizzlers pebble

Oh dear, that's gonna leave a mark... (Irritated tone) Do you mind? I do NOT have time for this right now! I assume this means the date is over? You'll be hearing from my tailor in the morning.

Yes

Can't forget the classic "tis but a scratch"

that's a rune

Sir/ma

That's correct sexhaver.

Keep Canada great.

The fact that Jeaney reads this with an Indian accent makes it so real!

"Is that ham possessed?"