Ill say this. Re listen to the introduction. Dr. Smith demonstrates the tactical empathy that he has at least a cursory understanding of the various factions on the battlefield. Its easy to watch a video where he focuses on a topic and blow a head gasket about how he doenst get "it." "IT," of course, reveals which particular axe the viewer has to grind.

I'm that girl....was raised in an ultra religious cult, where love of God was the only love accepted. I've been struggling my whole life not even knowing how to accept love. I love a man who is an avoidant. I never trust, I was always punished as a child. I was always out the door at the first sign of problems, as an adult.

Wow. Great explanation

I agree with lot of your points and want to add that children do well with consistent, stable relationship examples regardless of gender or number of partners as long as they are actively engaged with the wellbeing of said kiddos.

Adam, would you mind slowing/calming down your delivery a little? As an avoidant man, one of the things that brought me to your channel (and led me to buy your course! :) ) was how soothing your voice and manner was. It made me feel so relaxed, and understood, and safe. I felt like you got away from that a bit in this video, and had just a hint of the high pressure salesman in your voice. Not sure if it was intentional, but that's my feedback.

Rotational dating and being super strict with rules in the first month and monitoring and replacing really helps you avoid toxic/avoidant ppl. Do it with men/friends/ etc etc. monitoring super close and being open but quick to cut off early in the first month

Need help......Me anxious n ex avoidant. I broke her heart n she had finally removed me from socials after tryin to win her back in the month.wrote her a apology lastly n she said take care like in a peaceful way.She has said it hurted her so much n she was hangin onto it for long n never ever will come back.Will she ever come back or shes already completed all stages of movin on?

Wish I knew of your videos and advice four years ago. Thank you for your thoughtful insights and knowledge.

Is vasopressin involved in trauma bonding?

I find this topic very fascinating, not for the intended use of how to get a man to bond with a woman, but more of the experiences I had with other men that were bonded to woman "through" the delusion of being a friend. As someone who I believe has done well with navigating friendships and encounters with woman. In my twenties one of my biggest points of contention in life was overstepping imaginary boundaries with the men that the woman i was seeing/friends, was deluding these guys as "friends". Having 10 years of experience in construction, being in a career where you are away from home for most of your time. It's very common to have what is called a "work wife/husband", which is essentially a micro cheating relationships on a project where you act as almost a couple, but with/without sex. As of now, I have been on 3 project where I had justified means and wasn't truly stepping over any boundaries interacting with woman on the project, but to my disappointment. These men that were attached to these woman, saw me as a threat. Instead of checking their own behavior (requited love), I was ostracized from projects just because of jealousy from senior management men that had crushes on female colleagues that were showing me attention. These guys had wives and kids at home, and my career was jeopardized by f'ing worksite flings.... Last year I met a woman, who has ADHD, and we ended up clicking very well and she became a very close friend. We never had intimate encounters nor were dating. At the time we hung out all the time and she was also in a low spot trying to figure out what he meaning was in life. I figured since she was a very intuitive hands on learner, she would fit well in construction. I got her a job and her life was becoming way more positive and she had such a positive outlook in life. Just by simply her telling this "guy" she was fooling around with that I got her a job and was helping her out so much. He decided during a Christmas party, to have 3 and his other guys come approach me and threaten me.

What I don’t understand is why there are so many videos and KZfaqrs are “helping” partners of Avoidants tolerate or adjust how to deal with Avoidants. As much as I appreciate the insights and are helpful to better understand them, it feels as though their partners are given more hoops to jump through inorder to stay with them. The help out there needs to be targeted towards Avoidant types and what they need to do to heal or understand about themselves in order to know how to have a relationship and appreciate the ppl who bend backwards first you. I cannot help but think that the ppl who make these videos are Avoidants and want YOU to adjust and work around them. Similar to Narcissist but not the same.

So stepped back and went no contact with the man I’m with. Idk what to do anymore without feeling so rejected. What should I do?? I’m lost