나는 내 줄리엣이 되고 싶어하는 미친 동그란 눈의 금을 파는 여자들로부터 도망쳐 왔습니다. 케이티 홈즈는 나를 위해 톰 크루즈를 떠났고 여전히 계약을 맺고 나를 쫓고 있다.

소문에 따르면 그녀는 그와 함께 침대에 누워 있을 때 내 이름을 불렀다.

She shattered his ego by sharing her skittles candies, that she never shares with anyone, not even her husband, with me.

I didn’t appreciate her using me to destroy that mans ego. I have received much abuse over it. Before the “Hooters” restaurant closed in Santa Monica, He held Victor hater club meetings there. 백인인게 부끄럽다

I once stood on a street corner in Compton, California holding a sign that said “ Ashamed to be white”.

Hope Rose` covers "An Ordinary Days by Jung Seung Hwan"

By when I write.. It does not matter as long as it gets to YOU and you take the time to read it.. that is all I am asking you.. as I am standing there.. Looking at your picture.. I look UP at the Moon.. and I would smile.. I would tell that moon.. the Most beautiful Lady.. Most beautiful Flower.. I call YOU my flower because I see that YOU are getting more Prettier.. it takes my breathe away each time I take a look at the picture.. Because.. YOU are more beautiful than ever.. WHY are you so beautiful.. there are no words I can tell YOU.. there is NO words I can say what is in my heart because YOU are so Beautiful.. YOU blow my mind.. YOU make my Heart leap with joy but also my eyes cries with tears because YOU are so Beautiful.. I don't know what it is.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. brings joy to my eyes when I look at YOU.. that I just can't stop looking.. so Beautiful.. I can see it wrote on the clouds when I see YOU looking at the clouds.. As I am standing here and I turn to look.. I see a figure.. I see someone from a distance.. walking on the sands of this beach.. I can't see because it has become late into the Night.. I am wondering.. who can be coming at this late of the night.. and I see the figure stop.. I see a Dress.. and NO.. can it be YOU.. NO.. I don't think you be this crazy coming this time of the night.. But.. I know there is NO people around and yes.. I told YOU where YOU can find me.. so.. I am wondering.. it has to be YOU.. it must be YOU.. tell me that YOU have received the Letter.. because If you have and read it.. I know you can find me here.. or else YOU would Not show up.. Is it really YOU my Love.. Is it really YOU My Darling.. and I would drop to both knees.. and I know that it is YOU.. who got the letter.. WHO read it too because.. This is the same place where we are suppose to meet at this Night.. is that means.. I am not sure.. is that means YOU love Me.. can it be true that someone as precious as YOU can love me.. I know that YOU have such worth and value.. my love is Not enough.. YOU are worth to be loved by hundred young men.. but.. I know that I don't really receive that much of love.. can it be true.. is it YOU.. can YOU please come little closer.. and show me that It is YOU who has come.. I have the basket.. I have the basket.. I have the Glass jar too.. I need YOU to come.. come and show me that it is really YOU so that I can say to YOU.. I love YOU.. tell me that I am allow to say.. I am allowed with a permission to say I love YOU.. tell me that it is okay for YOU for me to tell YOU.. Can I say to YOU I love YOU.. will you receive my Love.. are YOU going to allow me.. are you giving me this Permission that I do have a chance to love YOU for once because I do.. Look at that Heart.. It is such a Big Heart.. Most Beautiful Heart.. Can I please Hold that Heart.. Let me have Your Heart.. I want to touch Your Heart.. Please Please.. I need to Have That Heart.. if it is Your Heart.. I want it.. I really really want It.. can YOU please tell that Heart and if YOUR Heart understand your Words.. Please tell Your Heart.. I have come long ways to get Your Heart.. I want to whisper and tell your Heart.. I have been praying for You to be Mine.. but only ways that prayer can be answered is when I can Have Your Heart.. I want to put a Bow on top.. Put Your Heart in the Glass jar.. and put your Heart close to My Heart.. My Heart is weeping for YOU.. telling me.. when can I have Your Heart.. I want to say to your Heart.. I have been here.. just waiting and waiting.. I have be waiting just to tell Your Heart.. I want YOU.. I need YOU.. I missed YOU so much.. I just could not be at Home.. be in the room.. be sitting by the desk.. looking at Your Picture.. what can I do if only my eyes be looking and My Heart does the crying.. telling me when can I have Your Heart.. what good is it if all I do is look at your picture and just be crying.. balling for Your Love.. if I have Your Heart.. can YOU promise me something.. If I am allowed to Have Your Heart.. can YOU make a promise that I can Love YOU.. if I am allowed to love you.. will you open your Heart and tell me that YOU also can think about loving Me too.. I truly want to be loved by YOU.. I want to tell YOU.. Open your Heart.. Please Open Your Heart so that I can tell YOU.. I have been suffering.. my Heart been in tears for a long time.. because YOU would Not open your Heart to me.. I am not asking YOU much.. just a very little is enough.. because at least that is better than Nothing.. so Please.. consider and allow me to Love YOU.. Open your Heart.. I want it.. I want it Your Heart.. so Please give it to Me.. allow me that I am able to love YOUR Heart.. I know I can't do much.. I know I can't give you much either.. but I am suffering.. I am in so much hurt and pain because I need to know.. Can I have Your Heart.. Give me permission.. tell me and allowed me that I can.. But YOU are to Open Your Heart.. what can I do when it is a closed Chamber.. It feels like I am standing by Gate.. and I see Your Heart behind it.. but.. the Gate is closed.. and shut.. Before I can reach and tell Your Heart.. the door closes too.. I am standing there.. I want that Heart.. but I feel like YOU want to leave it like that.. I am outside.. the door is closed.. and the gate is shut.. I am asking YOU.. Please.. open it.. Let me have a peek at Your Heart.. why am I not allowed to see Your Heart.. I see a man standing.. would not allow me to get close.. but I can feel.. I am in so much pain because I love YOU.. the only way is THAT HEART.. the key is Your Heart.. I am asking the man.. can you please.. I am Not a visitor.. I know I am not a stranger either.. I want to see Your Heart.. I need to ask Your Heart and tell your Heart something.. But How.. YOU needs to tell Your Heart.. and allow.. give permission that I am allowed to tell Your Heart.. YOU know how much I waited for this Day.. I have come long ways.. I have not come from a short distance.. I had to try for many many many years.. Do you know how it feels to be me here on the Other side.. for a long time.. I wanted to Love.. for such a long time I wanted to love.. but here I am finally.. coming long long long ways.. the struggle is real.. my Heart is real.. I am real person too.. I am a man too you know.. I want Love.. I want to love love YOU.. but you would not allow me to get closer.. tell me why.. YOU know I started with Nothing.. with being so little and so poor.. I had to start from scratch.. and yes.. I had to over come and endure.. and Now.. I am looking for a Heart.. I spotted a Heart.. because My Heart be asking me to Love.. now is the time for me to Love.. I been searching and seeking for a long time.. crying in the night.. asking where YOU are.. asking WHY must I suffer this Much.. but when I saw your Heart.. I would wipe my tears and stopped crying.. because I know I wanted Your Heart.. But.. tell me How do I get to Your Heart.. what is the secret.. How am I suppose to get close to Your Heart.. LOOK.. I see the Gate.. it is closed.. I see the Door behind it.. and I stand here alone.. will you not allow me to take at least a peek.. I want to see Your Heart.. I need to say something to Your Heart.. why don't you give me the permission to speak.. tell me something because I feel my Heart is breaking.. My Heart hurts too you know.. I want to see Your Heart.. I need to see Your Heart but the gate.. This gate is Not Allowing me to get closer to YOU.. Please.. Open the Gate.. Now I have to look at the door behind this gate.. even that DOOR has to be opened.. then I know I can see Your Heart.. But I have been standing here.. and There is NO sign of any movement.. but I came here.. its been such a long distance.. I had to come miles and miles away.. took me a long time to come here.. do you not see the picture.. Of course.. I saw Your picture.. took my breathe away.. and it got to my Heart.. YOU are wondering.. am I only doing this because YOU are so Beautiful.. Like a Flower.. YOU are so Beautiful.. is this the reason why I want your Heart.. No.. it is a part but YOU are so Strong.. YOU are so Smart.. YOU are the Best.. I know YOU are the best.. and also the most beautiful Flower.. I want to say.. who is the world most prettiest Flower and it is YOU.. I just want you to know that I want Your Heart.. I want Your Heart so Bad.. it hurts like what I just gave YOU a picture of my Head.. my thoughts.. My mind.. I just need to be with YOU.. ALL I want to do is stay by your side and tell YOU how much I need YOU.. whisper in your ears.. How much I love YOU.. and when I don't see YOU.. tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. missing YOU drives me crazy.. because I can feel my Heart crying inside because I want to be with YOU.. as I am standing by the Tree.. my hands are holding the Empty Glass Jar.. I came here because YOU told me that YOU have left Your Heart.. I am looking at the Big tree in front of me.. YOUR Heart is way up on the highest branch.. I look UP.. Now it is On the second Highest branch.. Does that means Your Heart can hear my voice.. can Hear My Words.. because I want that Heart.. when you are on my shoes.. I am way down here on the ground.. I can't climb up there.. I only see YOU.. because I want Your Heart.. I know that by calling Out to your Heart will not go nowhere.. so I am here wondering.. AM I just to stand here and tell Your Heart.. can YOU please come down from them branches.. the last time I came here.. I saw Your Heart on the Highest Branch.. way UP there.. and

Yes.. I am standing here ON the Other side.. I am speaking to YOU if YOU can hear Me.. No matter How many times I call Out to YOU.. I even would shout to Say your Name.. I am calling out to YOU.. asking YOU.. do YOU hear Me.. I have been here.. just asking YOU.. Can YOU hear my words.. if YOU do.. can YOU say something so that I know that YOU are able to hear me on the other Side.. But.. as I look UP.. looking at the sky.. No matter How many times I say.. How many times I call Out To you by saying Your Name.. I do not hear YOU.. tell me Please.. I am not talking or saying to a thin Air.. am I talking to the Air which I am breathing.. because.. YOU know that it hurts If You don't hear Me.. I just can't get YOU off my Mind.. You are always on My mind.. I can't stop but only thinking of YOU.. and also.. I only see Your name.. In my thoughts and In my Heart.. I wish that YOU can respond.. say something back so that I know that I am going on the right path.. that what I choose is what is right that I am doing.. I stand here.. looking at the sky.. asking the Sky.. looking at the stars.. even pointing to the Star.. Can YOU please speak to the Moon.. I know that the Moon up there is next to YOU stars.. Please tell the Moon to Look at Me.. can that Moon who is staying beside YOU hear me.. if YOU do hear me out.. Please twinkle stars.. so I know that YOU understand these words I am saying to YOU.. If you can get the attention for that Moon to look at me.. Open the ears to hear my Words.. I want to make a Wish.. so that If I can talk direct to the Moon.. I know that On the Night the moon appears on the Other side.. able to get the attention to my love.. Please help me.. I am pleading by asking YOU.. so that I can say.. It is my Heart.. something is wrong with my Heart.. I am not sure what is wrong with my Heart.. but.. my Heart is broken.. it is Not working.. I can't hear my Heart beating.. Because I am missing YOU.. I would look and I see the Moon looking at me.. I just can't believe that the stars are able to understand my words.. I just saw the Moon looking at Me.. I wasn't sure if The stars and the Moon are able to hear me Out.. Hear my words of Plea.. Now.. I know that the time is hear.. Would you please send a Message.. a Word for Me.. are you able to hear ALL my words and YOU are able to say exactly to My Darling.. To the One who I love.. can YOU please tell My love.. I pull out a Picture.. and I turn the Picture and I show the Moon.. Can YOU see the Picture.. I have been standing here.. and this is the place where I am suppose to meet.. I remember I wrote a Letter.. asking if YOU can come here.. but.. I know that I have forgotten to tell you which Place it is.. I was told YOU have moved away.. so now I know you are Not at the Old Place any more.. that means I have lost the contact.. I wrote the letter few days ago.. and I made a Promise that I am going to be in this place.. by the waters.. in a Beach.. and I know that if YOU did not get this message of that letter.. I am sure you are not going to come.. which.. I am waiting for YOU.. I have been waiting since yesterday.. got a tent and a sleeping bag.. so I started out yesterday.. Now.. the day has gone by.. Now it is after the sun set and I am hurting because I am missing YOU.. I am not sure if YOU got the letter or Not.. but.. I am looking at the Moon.. if YOU can find where and tell her.. tell my Darling.. tell my Love because I am going to be staying here for few more days.. just waiting for YOU.. I am not going to leave until YOU come.. that is why I am still waiting.. I have me the Flower.. a flower which I was to give you.. I know I should of given you that flower before but I got so busy and the time just did Not help me back then.. But I know that right Now.. I am ready to give you this Flower.. it is a flower Only YOU can keep.. only YOU can touch.. Only YOU can tell the Flower because I have already given that Flower a name.. the same name as YOU are.. so Please.. I have the basket next to Me.. and I want to give it to YOU.. I wrote another letter also right next to the flower.. telling YOU how much I miss YOU.. and How much I been waiting just for a one chance.. just to give YOU and say to YOU.. How much I love YOU.. but.. I know that YOU are Not going to show UP this very night.. if the Letter has Not reached you during few days ago.. I know that YOU are Not going to come.. But I want to See YOU.. I want to be close to YOU and tell YOU.. WHY did YOU move.. is it because of me.. is it because YOU want to keep your distance away from Me.. why did YOU move.. Please tell Me.. I just can't get YOU off my Mind.. I just can't stop.. but my Mind keeps on telling me.. think of YOU.. my heart tells me.. Just don't let Go.. tells Not to give UP on you.. even though it is very hard to be patient and to wait on YOU.. My Heart and My Mind reminds me.. How much Do I love YOU.. and I would stand here thinking.. and I would ask myself.. that is a good question.. How much do I love YOU.. and if I am unable to answer that Question.. it means I really do Love YOU a lot.. I guess when YOU think about it.. I am standing here on the Beach of the sand.. I can see the waters across.. I see the waves coming in and the waves leaving.. and from the Beach sand I stand.. I look Up.. at the stars and at the Moon.. the distance between.. that is How much I love YOU.. YOU are unable to see it.. there is the Line that is from where I stand to the Moon.. But.. My Mind and My Heart tells me.. it must be this Much because I am still waiting.. I am waiting.. even going on long walks of touching the sands of this beach.. as I would walk.. I would think about you.. I would tell my Head.. why can't I just shake it off.. even when I close both eyes.. I see YOU there too.. I just can't get YOU off my mind because I see YOU everywhere.. Now.. after I heard you moved away.. I started to think about the Letter I wrote and send to that Previous house.. wondering.. did the Letter reached before YOU left.. Did you receive the Letter.. and I would think about this beach.. thinking should I still go.. what if YOU don't show Up.. and started to fight within myself.. should I go.. or Should I stay.. and I started to think.. what If you did get the letter and you show UP.. and that is the reason why I came here because of the Promise I made to YOU.. I told YOU.. let us meet at this Beach.. by the waters.. and I wanted to give YOU something.. something I was holding for a long time.. and I just wanted to know.. and Now I am here.. just waiting for YOU.. as I am looking Up at the Moon.. I am not sure if the Moon is listening anymore.. am I being bored to that moon.. because.. I am sure.. there can be other men in this world.. who looks at this Same Moon.. and wants to talk to the Moon about a Woman he loves.. wants to explain and express and share because.. I just can't hold back my Heart.. I needs to say something.. if I can't say these words to YOU.. I know that Moon can be listening my Plea and that Moon can come on the Other side.. and show UP there.. when that MOON sees YOU walking.. I am showing that MOON your picture.. so that He is able to be my friend to tell YOU.. how I feel here on this Side.. just loving YOU.. just wishing to be with YOU.. even praying that I can be with YOU.. but How can I say these words.. if YOU are miles and miles away from Me.. and Now.. YOU moved.. I am not sure where YOU went.. Now I am here with No clues.. it is upsetting if I can't tell YOU anything.. what does it means If I can't tell YOU my words.. How my Heart feels and How much I love YOU.. do YOU not understand how much I love YOU.. do you even know what the word Love means.. I want to give YOU as much as I can.. I want to give you my whole Heart.. and that Heart wants to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I just can't stop loving YOU.. I want to stay by your side.. for the rest of my Life and to hold YOU and to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I want to look at Your Heart.. I want to look at your chest.. and ask if I can tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. do you not know.. because the word Love means.. I just have to tell YOU.. or I am going to die.. I be very crazy if I can't tell YOU because it is Not me.. it is My Heart and My Mind.. telling me to tell YOU.. I just can't stop.. but just wants to love YOU.. more and more.. I want to love YOU.. More and More.. can I love YOU.. would you let me Please Love YOU.. As I turn to look at your picture.. my hand touch my Chest.. I just wish that YOU can see this.. if YOU can Put your ear.. right on this Chest.. YOU can hear my Heart.. it wants to beat for YOU.. Only for YOU my heart beats.. makes me crazy and I come alive.. No one who can make me feel this way.. because there is something special about YOU who can only make a Heart beat faster.. Did you get the Letter.. I am looking at your Picture.. looking at your smile.. at your eyes.. Did you receive the letter I wrote for YOU.. please tell me what I wrote if YOU received it.. Did you even open to look at the letter inside.. Tell me what I said to YOU.. tell me because I want to know where YOUR heart is.. when YOU receive the letter.. do YOU even take the time to read it.. YOU know that I put some much Heart and time into the Letter when I write because I think of YOU.. NO matter how many hours goes.. Can You Hear Me

I am sitting down by the Shore... watching the Sunset... waves of water rushing IN and Out... Next To me Sits Me Little Heart Heart... One hand is a Bottle... I would take a CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG.. the Other Hand I am holding YOUR picture... Why are you so Beautiful... Whenever I take a Look at the Picture of You... Me Heart Heart... wants to Cry... it leaves me speechless... YOU are so breathe taking Beautiful... I can't breathe because YOU are so Beautiful... I take Another CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG of the Bottle... Now I feel so Sad... Because On the Other Hand I look at your Picture... I want to scream because I want to HOLD YOU... I want YOU here with me right Now... I want to see YOU close.. and I want to HOLD YOU.. I want to Hold YOU and Hold YOU.. Hold YOU still... Now I feel like I am missing YOU... missing YOU makes me so Sad... I take another CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG of the Bottle... as I look at the Bottle.. now it is empty... STILL.. in my other hand.. There is Your Picture.. always so Beautiful.. Your smile... OH GOSH GOSH.. and I would say OH WOW!! but makes me so SAD because I am sitting here.. watching the sunset.. sun goes Down.. I am missing YOU... I miss YOU so much.. and I want YOU near.. I want to tell You what ME HEART HEART wants to say TO You.. That I want to say I LOVE YOU... can YOU hear me words Out Loud... can YOU hear the words Out of me Mouth.. that I love YOU... I wish that at least YOU can send me YOUR HEART.. as long as Your heart is here.. I can say it to YOUR HEART.. that I love YOU... as I am sitting.. Me Heart Heart points.. And I look across.. WHAT IS IT?? the Heart heart says.. I wonder why YOU have to be so FAR... WHY do you have to be so Far that I am missing YOU right Now... I am always missing YOU.. and Since I am holding the Picture.. I am thinking about YOU a lot more than I should... I should STOP but I can't.. I can't stop looking at Your Picture because YOU are so Beautiful.. the Heart heart looks at me.. and I look at ME Heart Heart.. I know.. I know what YOU be thinking and feeling.. I do Miss YOU a lot but also LOOKING at your picture.. I just can't take my eyes off of YOU because I want to say something to YOU and TO your Heart.. I love YOU and Yes I miss YOU... please come BACK... Please Come back to Me.. let my arms wrap around YOU.. I want to hold YOU and I want to feel YOUR heart beating.. CAN I hear your heart... I want to hear the Beating so that I know that IT IS YOU... I look at the picture of YOU in one hand.. I would fold IT and put into the empty Bottle.. I have ME a Note and a Pen and wrote on it.. FOLD the Note and put into the Bottle... I look at the waters and tossed the Bottle into the waters... If I keep on looking at your Picture.. I know YOU would drive me crazy... I lie away.. I lie away driving myself Crazy.. Because I am thinking of YOU.. and YES Missing YOU as well... I look at the Bottle in the waters.. I look at me Heart heart.. LOOK at the bottle... What did I write in that Note.. I wrote.. I LOVE YOU and I Miss YOU... YOU drive me crazy because I am thinking of YOU.. YOU are MY beautiful FLower.. my everything.. my forever... I am Looking Back... I remember Holding around the Empty Glass jar... Inside is Me Heart Heart... I look down.. Me Heart Heart feeling so Sick... crying... Two Lines of Tears... DRIPPING DOWN... ME LOVE LOVE... ME LOVE LOVE... I miss ME LOVE LOVE.. I really Miss Me Love... I would stop walking... Looking into the Empty Glass Jar.. Me heart tells ME... I AM SO SICK... I NEED to go to the Doctor... Please take ME to the CLINIC... SO I can see ME doctor... I member I stop and walking Into the Clinic.. There was A DOOR... and I knocked... DOK dok Dok... the Door Opens.. and OH MOE NAH... You came Out and just stood There... I look down the Empty Glass jar.. Me HEART HEART looks at YOU.. Oink Oink.. oh moe.. HE wipes his Tears and a Great Big SMile across his face.. Shape as a Canoe smiling so BIG looking at YOU... I open me Mouth.. ME HEART HEART tells me that HE is Sick... and needed to go see a Doctor.. YOU came Out.. Do you see ME HEART HEART... CAN YOU check to see IF ME HEART HEART can live Again.. can HE set ME A BEAT.. I look down.. THE HEART starts to Beat Again.. BOOM BOOM... BOOM BOOM.. I just cannot believe.. ME heart wanted to Die... was so Sick because I started to Miss YOU.. when YOU came out.. and I look at Me heart Heart.. tell Her what YOU need to say.. NOW ME HEART HEART looks UP at YOU... HE says... YOU helped me to Breathe Again... NOW I can beat Again... telling YOU that I can beat.. I can Beat me Heart to Beat... CAN I tell YOU something.. CAN YOU please come close to this Jar... can I write MY name in Your Heart... Please come a Little Closer... so that I can write MY name in your heart so that YOU will Not forget Me... if YOU want me to write MY name... can I write this.. I LOVE YOU... I want to write this IN your Heart as a stamp to me name to YOUR HEART.. that I love YOU.. Now I turn me Head to LOOK down... ME heart is by the DOOR.. HE is knocking... Dok Dok dok.. Please Open this Door... I have Not written ME name in YOUR HEART.. DOk DOk dok dok... Please Open the door for me.. I want to write I L O V E Y O U... IN your heart.. I MISS YOU... and I love YOU... dok dok dok... Open Please... the Heart keeps ON knocking... Open the Door Please.. I miss You... I miss You... I miss You... Yes I miss You... and I love You... I look Up... I see another Face.. Oh moe.. Now there is Two Angels.. and I point me finger at the new Face Angel... The one on the Right side seems Like he do NOT hear.. IS that angel Deaf... I asked him for Two Wings.. BUT he just looks at me like ME words are NOT words.. NOW.. I am not sure IF YOU can hear.. I turn me head to look DOWN.. DO YOU SEE that HEART... IT IS ME HEART HEART... HE keeps ON knocking on the DOOR... Please GIVE ME TWO WINGS so that HE can STOP... I LOVE you... I love You... I love You... I love You.. I love YOU.. WHY can't you accept My Love... WHY can't YOU open the door so that I can tell YOU.. AND YOUR HEART.. I love YOU... that I love YOU thousand miles away.. even though you may be miles and miles and miles and miles away... I still can say that I love YOU.. I want to feel Your Heart.. I want to LOVE YOUR HEART.. IF you don't Open the door.. I am going to be standing here.. MISSING YOU and only thinking about YOU over and over again.. ME hand.. DOK DOK DOK DOK... CAN you please OPEN the DOOR so that I know that at least YOU are here.. that YOU are too listening to ME words speaking by the DOOR.. I love YOU.. WHY can't you accept My Love... WHY can't YOU open the door so that I can tell YOU.. AND YOUR HEART.. I love YOU... that I love YOU thousand miles away.. even though you may be miles and miles and miles and miles away... I still can say that I love YOU.. but if YOU DO not open the door.. HOW DO I KNOW that YOU are There.. that YOU are Here.. that I can tell YOUR HEART.. I love YOU.. I miss YOU right Now.. and I do not stop missing YOU until YOU open the DOOR.. ME hand... DOK DOK DOK DOK.. Please open the door.. I want to Hold YOU and HUG You near.. I Am standing out here.. the Wind starts to blow.. I hear the trees and the leaves be swinging.. Let me speak to YOUR HEART.. IF you do not want to see me and show YOUR FACE.. then at least open the door with a PEEK.. SEND your heart Out to me.. I will tell YOUR heart everything that ME HEART wish to spill and pour into YOUR HEART.. ME hand... DOK DOK DOK DOK... I want to see YOU.. Because I miss Your Beautiful Lovely Pretty face... SHOW me your CHARM and the Beautiful Flower YOU are.. ME hand... DOK DOK DOK DOK.. SHOW me... I miss YOU... I MISS YOU.. I miss you Now.. I miss YOU right Now.. I am over here missing YOU SO bad.. at least SHOW ME A PEEK of YOU.. Please OPEN the door for me

I love YOU.. and I miss YOU.. and I walked Into My room.. and I look at the Table.. I see something that caught My eye.. I would be asking.. When the Moon came UP.. By the Window.. I sit.. asking for YOU.. I am asking for Your Heart.. I would be sitting down.. Looking UP through the Open Window.. If the Angel may Hear me.. Please.. I am asking YOU Please.. I want to see Her Heart.. Your Heart.. and I would let it be.. Now.. I am standing inside My Room.. I look and there is a Box.. is it really from the Angel.. DID the Angel asked and.. I walked up to the table.. I pulled OUT from Inside the BOX.. I am wondering.. what is this.. I grabbed the Glass Jar.. Sitting in down on top of table next to the Box.. I would look inside the Box.. I grabbed a Note Card.. and a Picture.. I am wondering.. How did this Get here.. I wonder if the Angel answered My prayers.. is it really YOURS.. and I am looking at the Glass Jar.. I see a Beautiful Heart.. I am wondering.. Is this really really YOUR HEART.. are YOU really giving this to Me.. I am looking at the Picture.. and the Note said.. take good care of my Heart.. my hand opens and the note card falls to the floor.. looking at Your Picture.. I would open my mouth.. YOU are asking me.. but have you not notice for a long time.. I be asking for YOUR HEART.. why would you tell me to take good care of your Heart.. when YOU LOOK that I love your Heart.. I always wanted your Heart to be MINE.. I been asking.. The angel would never show UP.. sitting down by this window.. I be asking.. there were nights when I close both eyes.. in a prayer I asked.. If there is an Angel.. Please know that I am asking YOU to ask someone for me.. I love YOU is all I wanted to tell you.. I turn around.. There is a smaller table.. a Vase.. and There is One Flower.. I would walk up to this One Sun Flower.. and I would lower and look.. DO YOU see what I see.. Can you not hear the voice of Mine.. I am so Happy.. I am so thankful.. YOU have been here with me.. watching me cry.. Crying and weeping for a Heart.. a Heart I always wanted to Love.. DO you see What I see.. LOOK at the Table across.. DO you see that Glass Jar.. DO you know what is inside that Glass Jar.. YOU have seen me.. walking and stumbling across.. falling on the floor.. Holding a Picture and a Bottle.. and I am pounding on my Chest.. it hurts because I really really want to Love.. Love YOU.. love you so Much that I want YOU to feel the pain of the Kind of Heart I am dealing with Because I love YOU.. I love you in a way that I can pierce a nail into My Heart.. and drip drop of blood would be running out down from my Heart because I want to Love YOU.. I want to love you even with the CUTTING wounds in my Heart.. and YOU watched my Cry.. Loud I would wail and mourn.. I be missing YOU.. I be loving YOU.. I be missing you so Much.. How much is so much.. I don't know but this Pain hurts me more.. because I want to Hold YOU.. Hold you tight and tell Your Ear.. I love YOU.. why can't YOU see that IN me.. why can't YOU Put that through your thought process.. that I love YOU.. I want to hold you near.. Grab your hand.. FEEL my chest.. and feel the BLOOD gushing Out of my Heart because of YOU.. I just wanted to show YOU.. I love YOU.. words are Not enough.. but words has meaning when YOU put so much into It and just like the way I share My Heart to YOU.. it is More than action because I share me ROOT to YOU.. that I miss YOU.. I am looking at the One Sun Flower.. he was with me.. watching Me.. open the Window curtain.. opening the Window.. I would howl and yell.. people thinks that I am crazy.. what is wrong with him.. as they would walk pass by the window and I am sitting.. I look Up.. asking the Angel.. DO you hear me.. I want to be heard.. Tell me that YOU are hear.. and I would be asking.. I want Your Heart.. Please ask Her for the Heart.. I want Your Heart.. I am waiting for Your Heart.. I turn to look back.. I look at the Sun Flower.. tells me Never to give UP on love.. but too keep on asking.. if YOU keep on asking.. an answer will come.. just keep at it and ask.. and I would turn and look out the window.. I feel the tears.. my tears are running down.. I want YOUR HEART.. why can't YOU sent me Your Heart.. let me tell YOUR HEART.. someone who Loves YOU is right Here waiting for YOU.. I am the one who loves Your Heart.. if YOU DON"T believe me.. Sent me Your Heart and YOU WILL find out HOW MUCH I love you.. and I would be looking.. Angel.. Angel.. Then give me Your Wings.. I will grab the Glass Jar.. empty glass Jar.. I will go to Her.. YOU and ask for Your Heart face to face.. I would sit there waiting for the Moon and the Sun will rise once again.. Now.. I am looking at the Sun Flower.. YOU know what I have been through all this time right.. DO you see that.. Do you see that Glass Jar.. there is a Heart.. but.. I wonder How did it get here.. DID you see someone bring the Box into my Room.. How did that Box get delivered to this ROOM.. was it the Angel who heard my cry in the night.. I look at the Sun Flower.. I want YOU to go with me.. I want YOU to be delivered.. I want the Sun Flower to go with YOU.. Not with me.. But.. I only have the Glass Jar.. I stand UP.. and I turn and walk to the bigger table.. I lower to look through the Glass.. I see a Heart.. I am trying to think.. How do I know if Your Heart can Move.. I do I know that Your Heart can feel.. I grab the Picture.. and I look at You Smiling.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. The more I hold look at the Picture.. the More I want to see YOU.. But.. if YOUR Presence is not here but Far away from me.. I want to see YOU near.. and I want you close to Me.. I want you to know that YOU means everything to Me.. that I want to say to YOU.. my Forever Love.. My beautiful love and the One who I LOVE YOU the most.. but.. the more I look at your picture.. I want to grab me a Bottle.. when I get hold unto the Bottle.. I open the lid up.. pour into a Shot Glass.. I would take a SHOT.. I feel numb.. feel burning within me.. I can't hold back my emotions and my tears.. I want to hold YOU more.. I want to hold YOU more.. I want to hold YOU where you be telling me.. I can't breath.. and I will say to YOU.. YOU leave me speechless.. why are you so Beautiful.. YOU leave me speechless.. I can't breath either when I look at YOU.. I look at your Picture.. I want to cry more and more.. because I miss YOU.. my hands tells me.. I am lonely.. only YOU can make my hands stay calm.. My hands wants to touch YOU and hold YOU.. feel YOU so that I can say I can now breathe.. I am able to speak because YOU help me to be More real with Love.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to tell YOU I love YOU.. I want to say.. YOU make my Heart to skip.. why does it skip.. I don't know why.. YOU have to tell my Heart to stop skipping.. Then it beats again.. But when I look at your picture.. Missing YOU comes up.. MY Heart hurts.. I feel pain.. it can be very painful in the night.. because I want to hold YOU.. tell YOU that I love you over.. I love you.. why can't my lips tell Your ears.. and say it to Your ears.. I love you.. why do I must type.. it hurts my eyes looking at the screen.. hurts my eyes looking at the keyboard.. my heart cries over and over.. I want YOU.. I need your Presence with me.. so my hands can hold Your hands.. I can hold on to your hands.. pull you closer to my Chest.. tell your Ears.. CAN YOU HEAR my Heart.. My Heart is crying inside because HE loves YOU.. can YOU hear the Beating of this Heart of Mine.. because I love YOU.. far away hurts me.. far away makes me want to shout.. wants me to be more loud.. I want YOU to come closer.. so that MY lips can tell YOUR ears and Let the word sink deep to YOUR HEART.. so that I can say it right there.. I LOVE YOU.. I cannot stop but loving YOU.. why do you make me keep on loving YOU.. what have I done.. why do I must feel this way.. what have I done.. WHY am I the one to Love YOU More and suffer like a painful way.. feels like death be calling Out my name inside of ME calling OUT the name to YOU.. Then Help me.. and I would look

At your picture.. wiping the tears.. I feel so Hurt because I want to be close to YOU.. I feel so Hurt because I want to love YOU.. why can't I just love YOU.. show YOU HOW MUCH I do.. why do you have to make it so Hard on me.. COME closer.. so I can wrap my arms all around YOU and cry on your shoulders of how much I love you.. that I missed YOU so much.. I been waiting and waiting.. LIKE.. I turn on the Hot Shower.. and I can cry because I miss YOU.. but unable to tell if I am or Not.. That is HOW I feel in my heart.. as I look at your picture.. my lips touches your Picture.. I kissed Your Picture.. I hope you can feel that Kiss from me because I just love YOU.. I will never stop loving YOU.. you can't stop me from loving YOU.. I will never stop loving YOU.. and I would put the picture on the table.. and I turn to Look.. holding the Vase.. the Sun Flower.. I lower to look at the Glass Jar.. turn to LOOK at the Sun Flower.. DO you see Her Heart.. I love that Heart.. I love Your Heart.. SO beautiful and always brings a smile to my face.. I wonder if I can touch that Heart.. I want to touch Your Heart.. But if Your Heart is inside this Glass Jar.. and I want to touch that Heart of Yours.. How.. I put the Vase next to the Glass Jar.. Looking through the glass jar.. looking at Your Heart.. DO you know how to open this Lid.. I feel like the Lid is not just going to open.. and it has no door knob.. Tell me.. HOW DO I open the top.. so that I can Hold Your Heart.. I want to put Your Heart and show YOU the Sun Flower I want to give to YOU.. I want to touch Your Heart.. How can I hold your Heart if you are Not telling me.. OPEN the chamber.. OPEN the gates.. the Chamber so I can touch your Heart.. I want to hold YOUR HEART.. too tell your Heart How much I love YOU.. I want to press my lips on your heart.. will YOU let me kiss Your Heart.. I will kiss Your Heart and tell Your Heart.. HOW does it feels when a person like myself LOVES YOU.. I want to hold Your Heart.. Both hands and show YOU to my friends.. SHOW you to my sibling.. SHOW your Heart to My parents.. and tell them.. I LOVE YOU.. tell me How.. because at this Point I don't know.. I have no clue how to get to your Heart.. I want to Know.. the BOX is here.. the Glass jar is near.. But Your Heart.. I see your picture and YOU are the most beautiful I ever saw.. But I still want to know.. HOW DO I get to that Heart of YOURS.. I don't care about the picture right now.. because I want Your Heart.. I know there is NO LOCK.. so there is No Key.. then.. HELP ME to find the clue.. give me an idea.. Your Heart is Not moving at all.. is Your Heart dead or alive.. can YOUR heart Not hit the TOP and open the TOP so that I can grab and hold your Heart in my hands.. I want to tell Your Heart.. I want to bring a soft towel.. wrap around.. lay your heart close to me.. I want to touch Your Heart.. feel your heart.. Love your Heart.. sing to Your Heart and tell YOU that I love you.. why can't you not tell me HOW TOO.. as I am looking through the Glass Jar.. I am asking Your Heart.. HOW do I open the top lid.. I want to touch.. I want to hold.. and even poke to see if Your Heart can move.. I look at Your Heart and I see it move.. my eyes open wide.. I can't believe.. YOUR HEART is alive.. I just saw your Heart move.. it is a good news to me that Your Heart is real and that it moves.. I want to hold Your Heart Now.. Please come to my Hands.. I want to feel YOUR HEART.. I want to sing songs.. I can give you lyrics and I can read the lyrics of the most romantic songs.. and tell Your Heart.. this is HOW I much I love you.. I want to tell YOU that I love you.. tell Your Heart that YOU means everything to Me.. I want to see Your Heart and I want to touch Your Heart.. can I feel YOUR HEART.. I want to love Your Heart.. if YOU want me to love Your Heart.. I want to hold Your Heart.. I grab the Picture.. and I look at You.. I love YOU.. why do you have to be this Beautiful.. WHY do you have to be this Pretty Pretty.. YOU are the Most Beautiful Flower.. Just the way I love this Sun Flower.. YOU are more beautiful than THIS.. all I wanted to say is that I love YOU.. only if YOU can hear me.. I know that I may be far away.. seems so near but also can be very far.. that does not means I can't love YOU.. I can still love you because.. I can still speak through this.. telling YOU.. when the Night falls.. I go sit next to the Open window.. curtains unfold.. and I look Up to the Sky.. the Angel knows that I am there.. I look at the Moon asking for the Angel to come.. the Angel may not always come.. but I would ask out loud.. Do you hear me.. I am sitting here on the Other side thinking of YOU.. loving YOU and also missing YOU.. if you ever want to see me.. when the Night falls.. LOOK out.. if the angel shows UP.. that is Me Angel who wants to deliver a message to YOU.. if YOU see him.. say Hi.. because That angel wants to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I love you is a message comes from the Other side.. WHO is missing YOU and loving YOU to death.. I love you.. and I miss YOU.. I keep on missing YOU because I keep on loving YOU.. I want to see YOU.. I want to see YOU close.. WHY.. to tell YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.. I want to feel Your Heart.. I want to LOVE YOUR HEART.. IF you don't Open the door.. I am going to be standing here.. MISSING YOU and only thinking about YOU over and over again.. ME hand.. DOK DOK DOK DOK... CAN you please OPEN the DOOR so that I know that at least YOU are here.. that YOU are too listening to ME words speaking by the DOOR.. I love YOU.. WHY can't you accept My Love... WHY can't YOU open the door so that I can tell YOU.. AND YOUR HEART.. I love YOU... that I love YOU thousand miles away.. even though you may be miles and miles and miles and miles away... I still can say that I love YOU.. but if YOU DO not open the door.. HOW DO I KNOW that YOU are There.. that YOU are Here.. that I can tell YOUR HEART.. I love YOU.. I miss YOU right Now.. and I do not stop missing YOU until YOU open the DOOR.. ME hand... DOK DOK DOK DOK.. Please open the door.. I want to Hold YOU and HUG You near.. I Am standing out here.. the Wind starts to blow.. I hear the trees and the leaves be swinging.. Let me speak to YOUR HEART.. IF you do not want to see me and show YOUR FACE.. then at least open the door with a PEEK.. SEND your heart Out to me.. I will tell YOUR heart everything that ME HEART wish to spill and pour into YOUR HEART.. ME hand... DOK DOK DOK DOK... I want to see YOU.. Because I miss Your Beautiful Lovely Pretty face... SHOW me your CHARM and the Beautiful Flower YOU are.. ME hand... DOK DOK DOK DOK.. SHOW me... I miss YOU... I MISS YOU.. I miss you Now.. I miss YOU right Now.. I am over here missing YOU SO bad.. at least SHOW ME A PEEK of YOU.. Please OPEN the door for me.. SO that at least I can smile.. Me hand DOK DOK DOK DOK.. I love YOU... I love YOU so.. I love you Now.. I love you right Now.. I want to see YOU SO SO bad.. LET me see YOU so that I can hold you.. and hear YOU and see Your heart.. I want to see Your heart Heart.. SHOW ME PLEASE.. ME hand... DOK DOK DOK DOK.. CHAM.. this door never seems to open.. I LOOK DOWN.. ME LITTLE HEART HEART looks UP.. are YOU not knocking Me heart Heart.. why doesn't this door Open.. it is because YOU are Not knocking it right.. I turn.. I am going to go and bring me a BIG LOG.. maybe the LOG I carry will have the strength and Power to knock it down.. The Little HEART HEART looks at me.. IF YOU LOVE.. be patient.. and be Tenderly loving.. JUST BE PATIENT and WAIT.. me hand.. DOK DOK DOK DOK.. I love YOU.. I miss YOU.. I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU.. I love YOU.. Sorry because I love YOU.. SORRY because I miss YOU.. I want to see YOU.. because YOU are the world Best.. because when I see YOU.. I can fall asleep.. and I know I can go somewhere far.. Only if I can see YOU.. I can float into the air and fly.. I want to see YOU because I love you and I miss YOU.. is it wrong that I love YOU and I miss YOU.

I am looking at the Two baby Teddy Bears.. the Twins and I would be smiling.. SO Beautiful and So Cute.. as they are both sitting next to each other.. I want to Hold the Little Son and the Little Daughter.. Both holding Your Pictures and Looking at YOU.. I would hear the Word MOMMA.. Where is my MOMMA and I would see the Eyes looking at me.. I am trying to get the two to go into the Bed.. but.. It seems like they do NOT want to go to sleep yet.. and I am not sure.. but around this Time.. I would put them into the ROOM and Into their Cribs.. But this very Night.. I see the Two.. the Little SON.. with the Baby Blue shirt.. the Little Daughter with Pink Shirt.. a BOW on top of the Head.. I am looking at the two Bowls.. as I would LOOK at the Phone and to Face TIME you so that the Two Can say something to their MOMMA.. as I am calling YOU on the Phone.. I cannot believe that the Little Daughter.. She does NOT cry any more when I try to Pick her UP.. my Smile grows and I can't believe it.. as I see YOU on the Face TIME.. I wanted to share this news.. and I see YOU.. and YOU be smiling.. but I am also so Happy right Now.. and I hear Your Voice.. the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I see the eyes grows Big and the ears be moving.. Knowing that It is a Voice so Familiar to Them.. and I hear.. the Little SON.. with BABY BLUE shirt.. both Arms raises and hands opens.. MOMMA.. and I be smiling.. Yes.. It is MOMMA.. Your MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see the LITTLE DAUGHTER.. raising UP the Bowl.. saying the FOOD is finished.. and SMILES looking at Me.. with this JOY in my Heart.. I can't stop crying because It was so hard to get this LITTLE ONE.. the LITTLE DAUGHTER to eat.. I did Not want to force anything.. and I would hear crying and never thought that this day would could.. as I would turn the Phone where the Face TIME shows Your Face.. the Two BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Little SON.. the Lips.. SMILES so BIG with his Sister.. the Little Daughter.. and I see the hands be waving looking at YOU.. I just got this Bow.. the Pink Bow for the Little Daughter.. I just could Not believe that the Little Daughter.. I would sit next to her.. holding the Bowl with a Spoon.. I was Not sure if she would eat or Not.. But.. I started to cry as I put Rice and Beef Meat.. she opens her mouth and starts to chew and eat.. I wanted to call you with the Face Time to show YOU the Little Daughter.. there would been a lot of fits and pushes.. head turning on the Side and I could Not put anything Into her mouth.. and I would sit.. just worried to death.. but Now.. as I am looking at YOU on the Face TIME.. I would hear YOU telling your Children that YOU be coming Home very soon.. and that How much MOMMA misses her babies.. and How you wanted to come sooner.. and watching the Two.. the Little BABY TEDDY BEARS.. holding hands would not go to sleep.. knowing you be coming Home tomorrow must of gave some kind of excitement in the Hearts of Your Children.. and this Morning.. I know that the Little SON.. I would put the Bowl next to HIM.. he would eat alone without any Help.. but Putting the bowl Next to the Little Daughter.. She would Not eat.. I would try to tell the Little Daughter.. if YOU don't eat.. you can get sick.. and I will be sick too and even Your MOMMA be sick with me too.. so Please.. eat so that I can share HOW good daughter YOU BEEN with me.. and I would come closer.. as I sit Next to the Little Daughter.. I grabbed a PINK BOW and Put on top.. showing the Mirror to say.. YOU are the Most Prettiest Little Daughter I ever seen.. and I saw the smile.. grabbing the SPOON.. putting a RICE and the beef.. the Mouth opens wide and I put the spoon into her mouth.. as I see her chew and eat.. I just could NOT hold my tears in.. I just could Not believe that finally I am able to feed this Little Daughter.. in the hand.. there is a Picture.. I would open her Hand and to look at what Picture and it is a Picture of YOU.. and I would look at YOU through this Picture.. my hand touches My Chest and I would say.. WHY do you Burn my Heart.. WHY do you do this TO ME and even bringing the Twins.. the Little SON and the Little Daughter.. my Heart beat faster as I spend the time with Them.. they are so Adorable and so Cute.. never imagined in my Life that I could even fall more harder for YOU because I feel like I am a part of something Bigger now.. I remember when YOU first called me on the Phone.. and asking ME that YOU had to go somewhere.. and YOU had a problem.. that YOU could Not take your Children with YOU.. and needed them to be place by somewhere safe and secure and wanted to ask me a Favor.. if I could baby sit your children while YOU are away on this Business journey.. I remember I paused for a few minutes.. trying to think straight because I was Not sure if it was the right THING to bring your Two Children.. and YOU told me that they are two.. One is a Boy and the Other is a girl.. and they are Twins.. Little SON and the Little Daughter.. and it is a hard decision for YOU to leave them behind but this trip was very important for YOU.. of course I did Not want to say NO.. I had NO experience of How to deal with kids.. I never had any children on my own so I am Not sure what I am suppose to DO.. but.. of course I know that THIS IS a very Important business meeting.. this trip YOU must take and YOU MUST go so I told YOU.. Yes.. it is because I love YOU.. it is because It is YOU and as long as it is YOU WHO I LOVE the Most.. it does Not matter.. because I will try to be a GOOD baby sitter.. I remember when the DOOR knocked on the Front Door.. did Not expected much.. opening the DOOR.. I saw the Two crying.. I was Not sure.. How am I suppose to handle both be crying.. holding unto MOMMA.. and when YOU try to bring the LITTLE SON closer.. and He was in your Arm and the Little Daughter.. You were holding her hands.. and I saw your steps closer asking me to hold and Carry the Little SON.. he started to Cry Louder as He came into my Arms.. and the Little Daughter started to cry louder and sat on the Floor.. did Not want to come into the House.. and as I would look at this.. My Heart started to feel cracking inside.. started to feel this breaking deep within me.. WHY.. they do not understand why YOU have to leave them with Me.. and when I went inside the House holding the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little SON.. He is looking at YOU from the back.. arms stretching to YOU.. and Made me stop.. My Heart just could Not handle this pain of hearing this ONE cry and asking for YOU.. asking for His MOMMA and WHY you had to leave HIM with me.. and I would stand still thinking.. what am I suppose to do if they keep on crying.. asking for YOU.. and what do I do when they keep crying over and over.. and I turn around to ask YOU this Question.. I see you walk into this House.. YOU were holding the Other Little BABY Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter.. and YOU went over to the Couch and Put the Little Daughter to sit still and I would come over to Place and sit the Little SON next to her.. both crying.. and hands be rubbing the eyes looking at YOU and Looking at me.. and I would say.. and YOU would give a Phone to the Little Daughter.. and Placing the Hand of the Little SON.. telling the Two YOU be coming Home soon.. and that I am a BABY Sitter for few days so Don't cry.. and I see the two Stop crying when YOU tell them that.. and I see YOU with Your Other Phone and YOU dial the Number.. and the Phone would ring.. the Little Daughter looks at the Phone.. the Little SON looks at the Phone and presses.. and It is the Face Time.. and the two looks at the Face Time.. I see YOU walking back.. and YOU are talking to the two Little BABY TEDDY BEARS and I would watch them smile.. hands be waving looking at YOU through the Phone and giving them two Pictures.. One for the Little SON and the Other for the Little Daughter.. so that YOU are near and YOU gave me One too.. and as I would look at YOU.. I would watch YOU say good bye and Left the Front Door.. I remember the first Night.. I just could Not sleep at all.. and the two Would Not sleep either.. both sitting on the Couch and would be crying.. asking for YOU.. for MOMMA.. of course every one Hour I would hear the Phone ringing and the Two siting next to each Other.. they would fight for the Phone.. pushing the Button for the Face TIME.. I see them showing Teeth and growling that One of them has to talk and the Other.. as I would watch still on the corner.. I did Not want to bother any of them because of how the two.. the Little BABY TEDDY bears kept on crying crying after YOU would hang UP the Phone.. pushing and shoving who is going to answer next.. after a long period of time crying.. I would hear silence.. and when I look at the Couch.. the two be sleeping next to each other.. and I would walk into the ROOM.. and the Picture YOU gave me.. I would go over to the desk and sit alone.. looking at your Picture.. I would be thinking.. they been crying all through the day after you left.. and the two do Not want to eat either.. they do NOT want to drink any waters.. sits on that couch.. LOOKS at your Pictures crying and looks at the Phone to see it rings.. and I am looking at your Picture.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to bring those two into my House and I know that I have NO experience with children.. what if they keep on crying asking for YOU.. I hear where is MOMMA.. why isn't MOMMA calling the Phone.. and Keeps on crying for YOU.. and Now there is Peace and silence as I am sitting in this ROOM alone.. of course if the Two Little Ones are crying Out for YOU.. asking and missing YOU.. I know that my Heart truly feels the same.. that I do want to see YOU SOON too and that I know what the two Little TEDDY BEARS are feeling

Again.. this Cry.. it cries and cries.. My Heart cries OUT loud the way the two Baby Teddy Bears be crying Out.. wiping the Tears.. grabbing unto the Phone.. pushing each Other for the Next to LOOK at YOU.. saying It is Mine turn to see.. and cries after the Hanging UP on the Phone and looking at YOU.. LOOKING at your Picture crying of these sorrows in the Hearts.. I would watch the Two Little BABY Teddy bears.. sitting on that Couch.. I know that Heart.. I can feel that Pain in the Heart because that is HOW I feel to when YOU are Gone.. when YOU are far away which leaves me to be more lonely than ever.. just to be with YOU.. just to tell YOU.. but my Words can't say it.. I see the two., saying I MISS YOU.. and I love YOU.. LOOKING at you when the Two looks at YOU through the Face Time.. but I stand still.. it kills me the Most.. it eats me at it inside because I wish that I can be like the two TEDDY BEARS.. your Children who is able to say it and tell It the way it just feels inside but I just cannot.. and I would watch them cry.. I cry with the Two watching on the SIDELINE because.. I want to go over to the Phone.. looking at you on the Face TIME and when I look at you through the PHONE on FACE TIME.. just to tell YOU with my tears in my eyes to say it with Means.. I miss YOU and I love YOU.. why can't you be here so that I don't needs to cry any more and watch the Children to cry along with me.. it burns My Heart into pieces.. it burns because it hurts so much.. this PAIN of loving YOU.. I may become sick.. sick inside because I am Loving you just too much just for too long.. that IS how much I love YOU.. I am looking at your Picture.. just thinking about YOU.. if I am sitting here.. and just missing YOU.. I wonder about the two Little Ones.. the Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. I am looking at the Son.. and I am looking at the Daughter.. Both so adorable and so Cute.. and I want to see YOU.. of course both are in the cribs and they are sleeping.. I just came Out of the room.. and two rooms in this House.. as I am thinking about the Long Day.. I would be hearing crying.. Just crying for Momma.. and I would be showing the two Little Teddy Bears Your Picture.. and I would see the Son.. I would say.. this is Your MOMMA.. do you see her.. which I am speaking about You.. and the Little Son.. He would grab your Picture with both hands.. and Looks at the Picture.. sitting on the Couch.. and I am looking at him.. standing UP.. I would see the two tears.. lines of tears running down the cheeks.. and I am thinking.. what am I suppose to do.. This Little Son is crying for YOU.. and I see the kiss.. kissing the Picture of YOU and saying.. MOMMA.. MOMMA I miss YOU and I am just standing.. am I suppose to call YOU on the Phone.. of course the Little Son is more quiet.. but the Daughter.. has a pink Bow on top of the Head.. wearing Pink shirt.. I know that this Daughter is Hungry.. I remember you calling me on the Phone.. and I would hear the ringing.. so I pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOU on the Other side of the Line.. and I am looking at the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. I would sit Her on the Diner Table.. and she Sits on the chair you brought from your Home.. I would be trying to tell YOU.. why doesn't the Daughter Eat.. I know that she must be hungry.. but I am looking at her.. the Daughter.. sitting on her chair.. and I see the head turns to look at me.. and crying.. I can hear the weeping loud.. asking where is MOMMA.. I miss MOMMA and I would just stand there.. what am I suppose to do.. and I would be walking to the Diner room.. and I would stand by the chair the Daughter is sitting down.. and I would lower myself to look at the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. and I would ask.. Can I face Time YOU.. so that this Daughter can take a Look at you.. she has been crying.. and I would ask if she wanted to eat.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter would tell me No.. I just fed the Little Son.. did Not cry at all when I gave him some bowl of rice.. as I would face time YOU.. and I am looking at you through the Screen.. I really miss YOU.. of course I am not just going to stand here and cry like these two little Ones are.. but I want to see YOU.. if I am missing you a lot.. then I wonder how these two be feeling.. and I would show the Little baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter the Face time.. and I see that She loves to see YOU.. and wiping the tears for her eyes and looking at you.. I hear the voice.. words.. I miss My MOMMA.. Where are YOU.. when are YOU coming Home.. and I can feel my Heart be shaking hear those words.. and I see you on the face time.. YOU are smiling looking at the Daughter.. I hear the words from YOU telling the Daughter.. I love YOU.. and I miss You too.. and My Heart.. my hand touch my chest.. did YOU hear that.. it is my Heart just woke UP to those words.. I am looking at you on Face time.. I wish that those words be said to Me.. I wonder if YOU would ever tell me those words.. I know that YOU love the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. your Little Son and the Daughter.. both staying at my House.. but.. I want you to come soon.. I never thought it be this hard to be missing YOU.. but when I am looking at the two Little Teddy Bears and they are missing YOU.. and watching them both crying.. and Looking for YOU and waiting for YOU.. it breaks my Heart.. especially every Night.. I would watch the Little Baby Teddy Bear the Son.. He would sit on the floor and Looks at the front door.. and Just looks at the door knob.. and just stares for a while.. waiting for YOU.. and finger points at the Door Knob and turns the Head to look at me.. asking me.. MOMMA.. take to My MOMMA.. is MOMMA coming home tonight.. and turns the head to look UP at the Door.. as I would stand behind with few steps behind.. I do not want to go pick him up.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Son.. when I go and share the bad news that YOU are Not coming Home.. I hate to see because when my hands reach and arms hold the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little son.. right when I pick him Up.. He starts to cry.. and Loud and Loud cries I hear.. I hate it because He would Not stop crying.. I don't want to say to HIM.. MOMMA is Not coming home tonight.. and When I do.. the Cry grows louder and louder and screams for MOMMA.. my Heart.. I can feel my Heart be shaking because I want to scream and cry too.. because It breaks my Heart.. after few minutes of crying.. I see that He goes to sleep.. in my arms wrapped around.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear sit still.. and I go into the room.. where the two cribs are.. put into the Crib where he sleeps.. I know that YOU told me about a week YOU are going to stay away.. going on a vacation but I am wondering.. why did YOU not take these two with YOU.. and had to leave them with Me.. Now as I am looking at YOU.. on the Face time on the screen.. I would look at the Daughter smiling.. waving the hand at YOU.. and giggles and wiggles.. and I hear you saying to be a Nice baby girl.. and telling the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter that She needs to eat.. if she is hungry.. to eat.. that I am Not a bad person.. but there to be here for the two.. so I am smiling as the baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter sits on the chair.. and saying Yes to your words.. I have already prepared for the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I have her Bowl with rice and Meat.. I have set it on the table where she is sitting.. and I would take the Phone away from Her.. and I am looking at YOU.. I hear the crying starting after I took the Phone away.. as I am looking at YOU on the screen of this Face Time.. I would hear YOU say to me.. I am suppose to feed Her.. that she loves it when I sit next to her.. and I feed her with the Spoon.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son is more like On his Own but She is different.. like a baby.. and I hear more crying from Her.. and so I would pull the chair.. the chair I sit to eat and I would sit next to her.. and I give the Phone to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I would pick Her up and let her sit on my Lap.. as the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter sits.. I would look at the Bowl of rice.. scooping with the Spoon.. putting a Cow meat on top.. I am looking at the Little Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. she opens her mouth Wide.. and she is looking at YOU on the Phone screen on Face time.. and I see YOU looking at the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Daughter.. and I hear you smile.. and saying.. GOOD JOB.. and I can hear her chewing and eating.. I was truly scared that this One may go starve.. I tried to give her the same Bowl of Rice and the beef meat.. had to cut the meat into smaller pieces.. but would Not eat when I tried.. But now.. I see the main reason why the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear would not take it from a strange person.. I see How delicate this One truly is.. I would see the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. showing YOU her teeth and showing how she is chewing.. as I would scoop another bowl of rice.. putting a smaller pieces of beef meat on the top.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter opening the Mouth wide.. the spoon enters gently into and I see how she is able to take it all in as she starts to chew.. and I pull away the Spoon out of the mouth.. I am looking at the Baby Teddy bear.. the Daughter How much she enjoys looking at YOU through this Phone Screen on the Face time.. and smiles looking at YOU.. after the chewing is done.. I am able to look at you through the Phone of the screen.. I hear YOU telling the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. How much YOU love.. and How much you miss.. and asking about her brother.. so I am able to raise her UP and Put her on the Chair where she sits.. as I take the Phone away.. I start to hear Crying.. I mean is this One going to keep on crying every time I take the Phone away.. But I knew that the Little Son also wanted to see YOU

Is sitting on the floor.. and close to the Door.. looking at the door Knob.. I would put the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter on the Couch and she sits there.. so I would walk where the door is at.. I would put my arms around HIM.. lift him Up.. the Little Son.. his both arms reaches.. hands open for the door and I hear him crying.. waiting for MOMMA.. as I am walking away.. WHY do I have to feel this Crumbling crash from the Inside of my Heart.. I do not want to keep on hearing all these cries.. I would take him to the couch.. and let HIM sit on the couch next to his sister.. as I would stand and I would pull away from the couch.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. he turns to look at the Phone and looks at the Screen.. He looks closer and sees someone.. I hear MOMMA.. Me MOMMA.. and smiles.. both looks at each other and looks at the Screen of the Phone.. at the Face Time.. I would hear.. MOMMA.. I am waiting by the door.. are YOU going to come and take Us.. I miss YOU MOMMA.. I love YOU MOMMA.. as I am looking at the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. both smiles very big looking at YOU on the Phone of the screen on face time.. MOMMA.. I love YOU.. MOMMA.. I want to see YOU.. and I would stand there.. I would watch until the Phone gets hung UP.. and Both starts to feel tired and they would sleep next to each Other.. I am looking at the Room.. the Door where the two Baby Teddy Bears are sleeping.. and I know that They were so glad and happy to see YOU.. as I am sitting in the Diner Room.. I am looking at Your Picture.. It has been a long day but time flies so Fast because busy with the Two baby Little Teddy Bears.. I am just looking at Your Picture.. Just missing YOU.. just hoping YOU would come home sooner.. Not because of the two Baby Teddy Bears.. but Just missing YOU around.. I know that I haven't said this Lately.. But I do Love YOU.. I love YOU just too much.. and I just missing YOU right Now.. please tell me this.. when are YOU coming Home.. so that I can see YOU.. so that I can tell YOU how much I missed YOU and still be missing YOU.. just to tell YOU how much I love YOU too.. that YOU are who I love the Most.. and has never stopped loving YOU.. I am sitting on the Couch.. on my Lap is the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Next to me sitting is the Other baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I am smiling.. looking at the Picture.. and on my Lap.. the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear is looking at YOU.. and I am missing YOU.. asking when YOU are coming.. I want to show you the Two Little Ones.. the children are getting better as the days go by.. I haven't heard them be crying.. and as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I see you holding the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. and YOU are sitting on the couch and next to YOU is the Daughter.. who is smiling sitting next to YOU.. it is the same situation.. My finger touch over your face.. and I hear the Little Son.. asking for Mama.. and I would show the Little Son.. and Show the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. the Picture of YOU and as the Little Son looks at you through the Picture.. and I would say.. yes.. I miss too.. I want to see YOU.. but It seems like it is going to take a little Longer.. I remember few days ago.. a Phone would ring and I answered the Call.. Hearing your Voice on the Other Line.. telling me that YOU are going to stay a little More Longer and will delay the flight.. I could not tell the two.. the Two Little Baby Teddy bears.. I know that if I tell them.. they are going to cry for YOU.. and I do not like it when both children sits and cries for YOU.. do YOU know How much that Hurts me because they are hurting over YOU.. the way I feel about YOU.. so I asked YOU.. if I can keep it a secret and not to tell the Daughter and the Little Son because I know.. you do not know how it breaks my Heart.. when I have to stand still or sit.. watching them cry.. when the One starts to cry.. the Other joins in to cry along side.. and they both be looking at Your Picture.. and turns to LOOK at me.. asking where YOU are.. asking where is MOMMA.. and what am I suppose to say.. I had to watch both looking at the door.. both sits next to each other.. and they are looking at the front door.. and LOOKS at me.. keeps looking at me and I know what they both are saying.. where are YOU.. I have to say.. YOU are going on a long meeting.. I think for a business trip.. MOMMA needs to go to make Money so that YOU can buy good things and I would try to explain what the good things are.. but of course they do not get what I am saying at all.. They are too young to understand or knows these things.. as I would sit on the couch.. putting the Little Son and sits on my Lap.. I would give the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear the Picture.. of course If I give the Little SON a picture of YOU.. I would look at the Daughter who looks at Me.. and wants to have a picture of YOU.. she keeps on looking UP at me which she is sitting next to Me.. I have to have a picture of YOU.. so I asked for three pictures to be sent.. they be fighting over Your Picture which the two would always cry over.. taking my picture away.. I remember calling you on the Phone.. I asked YOU if YOU can bring and sent three pictures.. so NO ONE fights over or cries.. or fusses.. Now.. there has been a great peace and Joy in this House.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I miss YOU.. when I have the two baby teddy bears.. which they are Your Children.. it seems like I miss YOU more and More.. because they came from YOU.. and so Beautiful children.. and I would hear giggles from the Daughter.. she points and shows me YOU.. and I hear the word MOMMA.. and asks me.. where is MOMMA.. and I would look down at the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. and I would tell her.. working.. and the Little SON turns and looks.. and asks me the same question.. and I hear I MISS YOU MOMMA.. and it hurts.. I have to hear these words out of these two children.. why is it that I am hurting more.. I am hurting much more when the Two.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. they would look at your Picture and tells me.. MOMMA.. I miss YOU.. and Keeps on showing the Picture of YOU to me.. and tells me I love YOU.. and I miss MOMMA.. I am sitting on the couch.. they are expressing what I am feeling all of the Time.. I know that I can truly relate but the problem is there is Nothing I can do.. what am I suppose to say when YOU Miss.. and has NO answers to what I am feeling because I know How it is hurting me More.. I feel like for myself.. but when YOU can the children involve.. I feel like I am taking more loads on my Heart.. why can't you come Home.. why cant you come sooner.. the two are always missing YOU.. asking me where are YOU.. and they sit on the floor.. LOOKING at the front Door.. and I know if I try to pick the two UP.. One will cry because.. and I have to hear the other One cry too.. and it can get to YOU sometimes.. I wish I can find a way that NO ONE gets hurt and I just don't have to be hearing more cries.. as I walk out of the room.. I would watch the two Baby Teddy Bears falls asleep.. I had to give the two a Bath.. putting the Bubbles into the bath tub.. the two enjoyed taking a Bath in the bubble.. I had to put them into the Crib because It was the bed Time.. I grab a Book and started to read them and I saw the two baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. they both started to sleep while I was reading a children's book.. as I watch the two sleeping.. I would smile looking at the two children.. they are so Beautiful.. of course they are Your Babies so it makes it more beautiful for me to see.. as I would walk out of the room.. I go into my room and sit on the chair.. with the desk.. I am looking at Your Picture.. and it is the Picture of YOU and the two Baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap.. and the Daughter.. she is sitting on the couch next to YOU.. with a Yellow Bow on top of the Head.. My Heart moves.. LOOKING at this picture.. My Heart screams from the Inside.. and I have bought an Art.. the GIANT SKETCH BOOK.. and I would sit.. wanting to draw the Picture of YOU.. with the two Children.. am I loving YOU more.. I can't stop looking at Your Picture.. with the two children.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. why did you have to come and introduce me to the two.. when ever I look at the two.. I am only seeing YOU more but my Heart just loves YOU more.. when the two sits next with me.. and I watch them smile.. it kills me inside because they make me smile.. my heart lights UP on fire when I see the two.. I am holding the hands of the Little SON.. I try to get him to walk.. but He sits and cries instead.. trying to teach the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Little SON to walk.. I remember I called YOU on the Phone.. and I wanted to face time.. and I saw YOU on the Phone.. with my two hands.. I held the two hands of the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. trying to get two legs to get UP.. and through the Face time YOU saw your SON.. and he falls and starts to cry.. and the Daughter starts to cry with her Brother.. and I had to let you go on the Face time.. and I am sitting on the chair.. looking at the Picture and thinking of these little flashbacks.. and I grab the Pencil.. which it is use to draw.. but I just could not draw.. I know that YOU be coming soon.. when YOU come.. I know the two Little Ones.. the Two Baby Teddy Bears are going to go with you.. that Means.. it is going to break my Heart.. not just going to be missing YOU but also the two Little ones you brought.. I know that I needs to do this.. so I would look at the Picture of YOU.. Looking at the Little SON sitting on top of Your lap and LOOKING at the Daughter who is sitting next to YOU.. OH MY HEART.. these precious Little Ones.. MY Heart.. what are you doing to this Heart of Mine.. why did YOU have to bring them to Me

A children's book and starts to read or they will Not go to sleep.. so I would look at the Phone.. and I would see YOU.. and the two baby Teddy Bears.. they know it is MOMMA on the Other side.. and I would give the Daughter the Phone.. and I see her looking at YOU and with a Big SMILE.. waving hand at YOU.. and I would open the Book.. and I would start to read the sentences.. paragraphs it becomes.. and I can hear YOU on the Phone telling the Two LITTLE ONES.. and the Daughter would hand to the LITTLE SON.. and Looks at YOU.. Looking at MOMMA.. and I can hear YOU on the Other side asking the two Children.. what is the story about and to explain to YOU.. as I would read and Pause.. I hear answers coming out trying to answer the questions.. and I sit still.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both looking at YOU through the Face TIME of the Phone.. trying to tell YOU the answers.. Fussing and bumping into each other.. of course.. after a time.. I would watch the two Letting YOU go on the Other side.. and I would look at the two Little Ones looking at me.. and I would continue to read the Children's Book.. open my mouth loud and clear.. and I would watch the two.. the eyes would get heavy and both sleeps on the Floor.. One at a time.. I would pick UP.. with the Daughter first.. putting Her into her crib and then I would go and pick UP the Little SON.. which I would stand still.. Holding Him in my arms like he is my SON.. and I would slowly put him into his crib.. and turning Off the Light.. I would leave the room.. I am sitting in my room.. just thinking about the day.. I would love to draw the sketch.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. I am truly terrible at it.. I am not sure why I grab me the Art Pencil when I know that I just can't finish it.. but deep in my heart.. I do want to draw YOU.. and looking at the Picture.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. Not just YOU but with the two children on the Picture.. but My Heart just won't let me do it.. because I know it will shatter inside because I love YOU.. My Heart will shatter into pieces because I know that the two will be leaving soon.. of course I wish that the two Little Children can stay more longer.. but the More longer they are with me.. More I feel like it is Hurting me instead.. what if I would say to YOU.. don't let the children leave me.. I would be crazy before Your Eyes and I know that they belong.. they came with YOU and that is why I know they must go with YOU.. My Heart just can't accept that the two Baby Teddy Bears be leaving me soon.. and it is hurting me right Now because I know this.. of course they must go with YOU.. as I sit still in the silent.. I receive a Message from YOU.. and YOU have sent me something.. it is a New Picture of YOU.. and YOU are showing me.. telling me where YOU are.. and as I would look on the Phone to take a look at the New Picture of YOU.. and I know that the Children.. the two Baby Teddy Bears will love this Picture of YOU.. of their MOMMA.. which YOU are smiling in this One.. that YOU are doing so GOOD.. this is what I wanted to see.. what I wanted to hear.. and I hear the phone ringing.. and I picked UP the Phone to hear Your Voice.. and I would tell YOU.. after the face time.. I know that the children.. the two Baby TEDDY BEARS would be arguing and they would fuss at each other because they wanted to give YOU the answers.. and Yes.. I had to let YOU go to get this issue solved.. did I finish reading the children's BOOK.. while I was reading the stories to them.. I saw the eyes.. the Daughter first.. the eyes grew tired and I saw the two eyes would close and She lay on the floor sleeping.. I would keep on reading the Children's book and I would look at the eyes of the Little SON.. which he grew tired too.. both eyes started to close and He lays on the floor sleeping next to his sister.. I would keep on reading for at least 30 more minutes.. as I close the Children's Book.. I would pick UP the Daughter first and Put her in the Crib.. and I would go over to the Little SON and Pick Him up next.. Putting HIM into his crib.. and I stood watching the two sleeping.. holding the Daughter.. the BABY TEDDY BEAR in my arms.. I hear I miss MOMMA.. as I would walk out of the room where the two are sleeping.. I would be thinking of YOU and I go into my room.. sitting on the chair next to the desk.. I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU with the two Little ONES.. BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap and the Daughter sitting next to YOU with the Little Yellow Bow on top of her Head.. I wanted to draw picture of YOU with the two children.. and I kept on looking at Your Picture.. trying to draw I just could Not.. then YOU called Me.. all I wanted to say is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love YOU too.. missing YOU so much hurts me right Now.. so Please come Home soon.. I am trying to draw Picture of YOU.. grabbing the Pencil and Looking at the sketch paper.. the Picture is in front of me as I am sitting by the desk.. as I am smiling looking at the Picture of YOU.. I just can't believe I have your Picture.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. Just too beautiful to be true.. and the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. The most Beautiful Baby Boy.. I am trying to concentrate drawing.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. I see the hands trying to grab the Pencil.. losing me to Put the Pencil Down.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. this little Son.. starts to cry.. wanting to hold the Pencil.. I tell this baby Teddy Bear.. I am trying to draw a picture.. why can't You just sit on my lap and just watch me Draw.. I am looking at your Picture.. and I just want to see YOU.. the baby Teddy Bear looks at my eyes and turns to look at the direction I am looking at.. This Little Son looks at your Picture.. and hands wants to grab your Picture.. and tries to get closer to the Picture.. But.. I would pull the Baby Teddy Bear away.. and He looks at me starts to cry.. saying that is MOMMA.. and I just can't believe.. this Baby Teddy Bear knows the Picture is YOU.. knows who his Momma is.. and as I would pull away.. I want to draw.. I tell the Baby Teddy Bear.. Please.. let me draw on the sketch paper.. I hear another Crying on the back.. it is His Sister.. and they are twins.. two Baby Teddy Bears.. One.. the sister is sleeping on the Bed.. the Daughter.. and I can hear a crying and I would turn to look back.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. she has woken UP from sleep.. and Looking for MOMMA.. and I turn around.. as I get up.. the Little Son.. He starts to cry as I am holding.. I turn away from the desk.. holding the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Now I hear both crying.. Both crying for their Momma.. and as I put the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear on the Bed.. next to His sister.. both are crying as I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. I just don't know what to do.. when Both are crying together.. looking for Momma.. and it breaks my Heart because I do also Miss YOU as well.. I want to see YOU.. then I wonder how these two Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. when they belong to YOU and being that part of family.. I am watching both crying and crying.. hands are asking to be Hold.. and I am just standing here.. ALL I wanted to do is to draw picture of YOU.. sitting by the desk.. looking at the picture of YOU.. and just to draw the picture.. to know how much I love YOU.. and I wanted to show YOU and to give it as a gift to YOU.. but it seems like it is Not working at this point.. What am I suppose to Do.. the two baby Teddy bears are crying.. they are looking for MOMMA.. am I suppose to call YOU.. because they will not stop Crying.. I can't even draw picture of YOU any More because.. they are crying.. I can't concentrate with Two babies crying.. as I would look.. I would pick up the Phone.. but when I picked UP the Phone.. it was YOU who was calling.. and I would hear your voice on the Other side.. I smile because I was about to call YOU.. and YOU have read my mind.. asking about How the two baby Teddy Bears be doing.. and YOU can hear the two crying.. the twins.. Baby Girl and baby Boy.. both crying for MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. and I would tell the two.. It is MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see both stops crying and I would give the Phone to the Daughter first.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. hands grab and pulling away from His sister.. wanting to hear the voice of their MOMMA.. and I am just.. my Heart.. My Chest.. My Heart.. How much these two are missing their MOMMA.. wanting to see.. I see both ears.. trying to listen to the Voice of their MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. they are so Beautiful.. both.. the twins.. the Baby Teddy Bears.. both so Cute but so Beautiful.. I would turn around.. and I do remember.. I was sitting down on the chair.. by the desk.. Looking at your Picture.. I would look and say to Your Picture.. when can I see YOU.. will you let me hold YOU.. will you let me love YOU.. I know I can love you the way YOU want to be held and want to be loved.. I know that I can love you in a way you would never felt before.. I can tell YOU.. tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. How Much I love YOU.. but.. YOU have to give me the permission.. allow me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I would be looking at your Picture.. when will you come around so that I can see YOU.. My hand grabbing unto the Pencil.. looking at a sketch of paper.. My hand starts to trace.. using the pencil to draw.. and I am looking at your picture.. to draw you on this sketch paper.. and right when I was about to go deeper.. I hear a knock on the door.. DOK DOK DOK.. and I am wondering.. who be knocking at the front door at this time of hour.. it is getting late.. and I am thinking.. maybe I am just too tired that I am hearing things.. so I would begin to use my hand to draw.. I hear another Knocking

Their MOMMA.. what am I suppose to do then.. because I have No experiences at all.. and I see you get closer.. trying to hand me over the Little SON.. and as I would hold on with my arms.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son starts to cry.. and I see the Little SON.. arms stretching out to YOU.. because He does not want to come to me.. the Cry gets louder and louder.. and arms stretching out to YOU.. wanting to Go to YOU instead of Me.. and His cry so Loud.. hurting my ears.. and I am not sure.. It is so hard for me to control.. and I would ask YOU to come inside.. I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter starts to cry too.. both being very loud cries.. I just don't know what to do.. why are you leaving them with Me.. they are both crying loud for YOU.. asking to take them with YOU.. My Heart hurts.. it hurts because I know How it feels to be in a pain when YOU leave.. as YOU would try to give me the Other Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. She is even more worst.. YOU had to hold Her close.. and She would sleep in your arms.. Would not even come to me.. kicking and screaming when YOU try to get her close to me.. and what happens when the Other Baby Teddy Bear wakes UP and knows YOU are not in the House.. but has left her with Me.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear will find Out that YOU are gone.. but for now.. she may sleep.. if the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter did not come to me when YOU were here.. I know she is Not going to come to me when I am alone with Her.. I feel so Bad.. My Heart breaks as I would watch the Little SON.. He sees you walking.. the BABY TEDDY Bear starts to crawl after you.. I am watching.. my eyes.. I feel my tears going to pour out.. as I see you walking fast.. going to the front DOOR and the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear crawls crying after you.. as I watch YOU leave the front door.. and the door closes behind.. the Little Son.. baby Teddy Bear sits and cries.. and sits by the door waiting for YOU as He keeps on crying for his MOMMA.. I am standing behind.. just wiping my tears.. It hurts.. this Pain.. it feels like a sharp pain has entered in me.. It hurts watching the Little Son.. hurting.. crying for his Momma.. and turn to look at me crying.. tears hitting the floor.. and turns to look at the door.. what do I do.. tell me.. what am I suppose to do when It hurts me just watching One breaking Heart.. what do I do.. I wanted to go.. Open that front Door and run after YOU.. grab Your Arm and pull and to let YOU see.. LOOK at the Little SON.. look at HIM crying.. why do I have to be the one to watch His tears run down like this.. WHY do you have to break my Heart when I have done nothing to YOU.. why come over and look at the Heart pieces falling apart.. WHY do I have to be the one with the Broken Heart.. it hurts me more than It hurts YOU.. as I would walk.. closer to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. keeps on crying.. pointing to the Door.. wanting to go with YOU.. but.. I know that I can't take this Little ONE to YOU.. and I am just standing here.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do at this Point.. because I can't help this Little Son.. even though I want too.. but.. YOU be telling me you wanted to be time alone.. you just wanted so time off.. to refresh Your Head and that is why YOU are leaving and has made me to be the Baby sitter for the Two Baby Teddy Bears.. I know you have brought all that is needed for them.. so that part I am ready to do what I was told me to do.. but.. I just can't take the pains of the two baby Teddy Bears be crying.. Now.. I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both sitting on the top of the Bed.. with the Phone in their Ears listening to Your Voice.. Both looks at each other and smiles knowing that They are hearing their MOMMA on the Other side.. so I am getting closer.. and I am wondering.. few days.. but when is that the few days end.. so that I can focus on drawing picture of you on the New Sketch Paper Book I just bought from an Art Shop.. I want to draw a picture of YOU and to show YOU when it is all completed.. I be drawing YOU.. for a long time I wanted to draw a picture of YOU.. I know that I am Not good in drawing.. but I do want to try so that I can tell YOU.. I can show YOU this is My Heart.. Not Just My Heart.. but it is My Love.. this is a way I want to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I need a time alone.. I need my own time.. if the two Baby Teddy Bears are here.. I know that I can't draw anything.. so I would get close to the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I am asking if I can have the phone Back.. so that I can talk to YOU.. but it seems like the two Baby Teddy Bears does Not want to give me the Phone.. they want to hear their Momma speak on the Other side.. I see the smiles and giggles together.. it look so beautiful.. how the two are so Beautiful when they smile.. just like their MOMMA.. YOU are the most Beautiful when YOU smile.. as I would watch the Phone being hung UP.. and the two sitting on the Bed.. looking at me.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do now.. they just looks at me.. and both starts to cry.. crying loud wanting to see their MOMMA..I am sitting by the desk.. I am looking at the shot glass.. and grabbed the Bottle of whiskey and poured into the Shot glass.. placing the whiskey down.. picked up the shot glass.. opened my mouth and take a shot.. I am trying to forget YOU.. but I just can't.. I have placed your picture on the top of the desk.. I keep on looking at this picture.. I tell myself I needs to stop.. but I feel like I needs to keep on looking.. I would look at your picture and say.. why are you doing this to me.. why do I have to keep on looking at you.. of course I have a pencil and a clean white sheet of paper.. I want to draw.. looking at your picture.. I want to draw the picture of you.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. but I can feel.. this whiskey starts to kick my head.. I feel light headed and buzzing.. I know I drank so that I can forget you.. but why is it that I am missing you more now.. I just can't take my eyes off of you.. as I am looking at your picture.. why can't your picture talk back to me.. I want to hear something from you.. but no matter how many times I am going to tell you looking at your picture.. I will not hear anything from the Other side.. but I want to hear from you.. Please.. tell me something so that I don't feel the light headed I am feeling at this point right now.. YOU know that I love you.. I can tell you many times that I love YOU.. can you tell me something.. can you hear me say the words to YOU.. I love you.. and I grab the pencil.. starts to trace and starts to draw.. of course I am looking at your picture.. as I stopped.. putting the pencil down.. I have drawn a picture of a Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. and I am looking at this pieces of paper.. looking at the Heart.. this is suppose to be your Heart.. so that I can touch it.. as my hand touches the paper.. my hand touch the Heart.. can you feel my hand.. I am touching your Heart.. can you please tell me that you can feel my Hand touching your Hand.. as my eyes would look at the picture.. it is YOUR Heart I drew.. maybe you would tell me that Heart does not look like yours at all.. I told you that I am not an artist who can paint or draw pictures.. but I know that I can try to draw a Heart.. it is only Your Heart I want to draw.. I want to touch your Heart too.. How about me write my Name on this Heart.. and can I take this piece of paper and give it to YOU.. telling you that I have wrote my name so that YOU know that it is me who loves YOU and asking you to remember my Name.. so that you know that I love you.. I belong to YOU only.. so please.. tell me that I can.. as I grab the bottle of whiskey and pour into the shot Glass.. and place the bottle of whiskey on the top of the desk.. I grab the shot glass and open my mouth and take a shot.. I can feel it burning.. it feels like it wants to burn my Heart instead.. why.. I don't know.. you tell me why.. because I want to hear from you saying that I am allowed too.. as I am sitting down.. looking at the piece of paper.. looking at the Heart I drew.. I turn to look at your picture.. and I would hear a Crying.. I am wondering.. who is crying at this time of night.. is it my Heart.. is My Heart crying from the inside.. is it because of the whiskey.. the shot glass.. the shot of this whiskey.. I don't think my Heart would cry because of it.. and I would sit still.. maybe it is this Heart.. the Heart I drew.. which it is suppose to be Your Heart.. so is Your Heart crying.. and I would sit still trying to figure out why I am hearing crying.. and the Cry I am comes behind me.. and I would turn to look back.. and when I turn to look back.. I see a Teddy Bear.. the arms are stretching out.. and keeps on crying.. and I am wondering.. when did this Teddy Bear got here.. it is smaller and wearing a blue shirt.. must be.. and I would stand up from the chair.. and I hear from the Teddy Bear crying.. MOMMA.. and I stop.. I just can't.. I see tears in the eyes of this Baby Teddy Bear.. and He is crying for Momma.. and I am thinking.. why are you asking me for MOMMA.. I am trying to get over and I grab the Picture and I walk to the bed.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on the top of the bed.. and I would sit next to the Baby Teddy Bear and I show the picture.. and I would point.. is this Your MOMMA and the Baby Teddy Bear head goes UP and down telling me that YOU are.. I am wondering.. I am trying to get.. How come now.. and the Baby Teddy Bear wraps the arms around your Picture.. I think you must be a Son.. I am very confused.. so YOU are looking for Momma and the Baby Teddy Bear cries and cries and cries looking for YOU.. and I am sitting down.. what am I suppose to do.. and I start to feel my tears running down.. if you keep on crying.. how about me.. you are going to make me cry with you and I would grab the Picture