I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

Hell yeah

What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad.

bruh, that was crazy

wow this guy looks pretty kissable

What do you call a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.

What did the nose tell the finger? Stop picking on me.

What does corn say when it gets a compliment? Aw, shucks!

Where do bad rainbows go? Prism, it's a light sentence.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the “knock-knock” joke? He won the “no-bell” prize.

Where are average things manufactured? The Satisfactory.

hat do you call a cold puppy? A chili dog.

Once I ate a fancy Italian restaurant. It cost a pretty penne.

Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle.

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

I wondered why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?" The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan."

Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can't jump.

Why couldn't the produce manager make it to work? He could drive, but he didn't avocado

What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide.

Who won the neck decorating contest? It was a tie.

You're never home alone. You have demons in cat form

I got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.

Why are pirates called pirates? They just ARRRR!

What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue berry!

Why can't you trust the king of the jungle? Because he's always lion.

Why do dragons sleep during the day? So they can hunt knights.

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!

. What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop.

Why shouldn't you use a broken pencil? Because it's pointless.

Hi, I’m Cliff. Drop over sometime.

used to be afraid of hurdles. But I got over it.

What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

Why was the fish’s grades bad? They were below sea level.

How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they are all on the dark side.

What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every day.

What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I once got fired from a keyboard factory. They said I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

My boss told me to have a good day. So I didn't go to work.

Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.

What does corn say when it gets a compliment? Aw, shucks!

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.

I used to steal soap, but I'm clean now.

Where was King David’s temple located? Beside his ear.