Thanks, Adrian. 👊

with the loss of community part, I honestly just feel so uncomfortable around any community. I'm not a woman, so when I'm perceived as such it just makes me feel gross. I'm not a cis man, so I don't feel very welcomed by men - especially since I'm not very physically strong. I'm not really apart of any trans communities, I don't know any other trans people. When I have a crush on a girl I'm just seen as a lesbian, when I like a boy I am seen as a fetishizer. I don't really feel welcomed by any community, and I never have been. This is just my personal experience though.

How do you look so masculine, I’m a cis male and you have a stronger chin than me

When you don't pass, you can act and dress as a tomboy. You don't have to behave and dress feminine. That's my opinion.

The lower fear at night seems absolutely ridiculous considering men are FAR more likely to be physically assaulted when out alone at night than women. However, as a trans woman, while I have had far fewer scary moments since transitioning, each one feels far scarier than what I previously experienced when living as a man. Emotionally, everything is stronger on E, and fear/paranoia are certainly no exceptions. So, despite the seemingly fallacious reasoning behind the extra fear from women, it actually makes sense. Men might get mugged or shot alone at night, but women face a fate worse than death in the potential of not only being SAed, but of being captured and SAed indefinitely. Society is intentionally structured to strike great fear into women to keep them on leashes. As a trans man/trans masc person, an individual is taking off that leash.

I remember hanging out with my friends and they got onto the topic about Kris (the girl who transitioned on Mr Beast) and one of my friends said "If I learned my friend was transgender then I would stop being friends with them"... I'm so glad that I have friends who support me and I hope I still have them when I start transitioning.

It's super funny to me personally what you said about women being more supportive and feeling more like a community, but as a now transmasc, i have never felt supported in that community either because im ADHDautistic. I think we dont discuss enough the extra level of difficulty neurodivergency and ableism add to trans people's lives

I started a new job where im stealth last year in september, and I have this coworker who, though she hasnt done it in a while, who sometimes shout at my other coworkers to stop talking (all of them women) because I was trying to say something. It was genuinely unnerving that she did that

As a trans woman, I appreciate your perspective on going in the opposite direction. And yes. I don't always pass, but I still get way more support from women than I ever did from men as a man.

i really wish people would speak more about the social aspect of transitioning gender is SO COMPLEX and being able to experience both worlds makes us realize just how EVERYTHING changes and how much society rely on those roles as an androgynous pre t trans guy i feel kinda lost honestly, like i'm too masculine to pass as a woman and too feminine to pass as a man. This SUCKS cause either way i'll be seen as less valuable by other people. Its super weird trying to fit in, but hopefully it will get better when i start t anyway ty for the amazing video <33 it made me feel a little less alone. In the end even cis people are just trying to fit in, gender is dumb asf

This is more of a light hearted one, but I forgot men's shoes and women's shoes go by different sizes and the first time I bought shoes, once I started passing, I gave the women working there my women's shoe size on accident and she was so confused and then I had to awkwardly be like "oh, sorry that's my size in women's, women's shoes just fit me better" (which is true bc my feet are narrow af but still 🙃) Also strangers are meaner to me now. Fewer people smile at me when walking down the street, people harass me if I wear a mask, and I get homophobic slurs yelled at me from cars. I also feel like when I was perceived as female people treated me like I was stupid and now I have the opposite problem where everyone assumes I'm way more competent than I am 😅

Is that Dr. Peter Hammond? Did you see him privately? Where did you go for this? Or which region are you? My GP in London is refusing bridging or shared care, because of practice funding etc, nothing to do with not believing/trusting me, they simply won't fund it.

I never felt unsafe walking around at might as "female", the short lived phaze/experiment of wearing mini skirts & boots I was more aware of risk, but nothing happened & I did walk home alone at night. For the rest of my "female" like I was a tomboy or androgynous, & I felt very safe & left alone, I live in a city & often walk around at night, in fact choose it as I am self conscious & prefer not to see people. The more male I have become the more anxious I feel, its lone guys, particularly small or odd looking ones, that are at risk of being picks on by groups of youths, guys get murdered more too. So my experience has definitely been the opposite, it also doesn't help that being trans feels vulnerable & risky.

WAHOOOOO, hope the surgery goes well!

Update ^~^ I have my first private clinic appointment tomorrow for HRT for E whilst I wait for the NHS GIC appointments <3 But thank you for calming my nerves in the video it has helped.

Hello 🍒 Pay attention to video editing also. This is quite low, edit in good style. Because it is very important in your video.

You still look féminine

Hey adrian could you please block the hateful person in your comments? I dont think it's good to let then fester there and cause damage to your community

This is hitting me hard, mtf here and you talking about gaining a feeling of safety at night while I'm losing it and not handling it in the slightest, I feel blind and nieve to the recently increasing harrasment and attacks, and it sucks when I work so hard just to feel comfortable in my body and I now have to hide it terrified. I know girls through it all the time at such young ages but it doesn't make it easy being older going through attacks. I understand the privelge of starting male, but it goes to show, because I don't regret it, I just wanna be me so bad. I still feel bad for men when you talk about community cause it really is lonely in that male space sometimes. Overall though, I would prefer if women had male privalege too than the worst of both worlds we got right now 😂

Fantastic video. Thanks Adrian.

I’m a big dude muscle and weight wise, but short. I was taking out the trash at night and the first time a woman crossed the street to get away from me and when I realized she saw me as a threat, my heart sank.

Thank you for this educational video, hope it reaches more people and the shed their toxic masculinity 🫶🏽

I had the opposite experience. I was bullied by women and never felt like I was a part of any community. It felt like women just wanted to compete with me and they did all of those mind games and backstabbing. I had no social expectations with my transition but men turned out to be so supportive. I was terrified of going to the gym because I was skinny and weak and I thought I will be bullied but most men were hyping me up lol. I also noticed women are much nicer to me now than pre transition which really shocked me. I thought they would see me more as a threat but they're really nice to me now

That thing guys experience, like they're never allowed to express emotions or show vulnerability sucks. I'm MtF, and have strangely found myself as someone who gets a lot of guys opening up to me. Like, I've destroyed my man-card, and in so doing, have no expectations of them 'wearing their armor' emotionally. The stoic male thing sucks and I wish we could let that stereotype/expectation die. It's bad for people's mental health.

Transmen need to stay out of men's sports and spaces, especially as they have a biological advantage in mens' sports.

You are not looking at us in the camera but at yourself I feel😅

I'm pro trans - who cares! Why does it matter. I'm a member of the LGBTQ community, but I associate with the "G" community, because I cannot relate to the other experiences and they are very different than my lived experience. I question why we are lumped together as one community. Is that wrong of me? I welcome educational comments.

I'm biologically born as a male, but I've always felt uncomfortable playing as a male, so one day I decided to transition, and soon after I was surprised by the gender roles women were expected to play, which were not what I was expecting. Then I started to think that I'm non-binary, but it still doesn't feel right. And here we are a rebellious female in a traditional society and male patriarchy, nothing more exciting then that. Hopefully I don't get killed or starve to death anytime soon, wish me luck bro.

How much is your top surgery?

Good luck to your top surgery.😊😊 how much your top surgery fees?

Good luck for your top surgery consultation❤❤❤😊😊😊

Happy anniversary❤❤❤😊😊

bro, is your menstruation stop?😢😮

Congratulations🎉🎉🎉

I came out as gay, and then trans and both times I've noticed my privilege slow be erased at all stages. It's real and real hard but people like you and all trans people understand first hand. More people can learn a thing or two from your videos! You're really kind keep up the videos! 💚💙

Hello Adrian, i just found you on youtube and was really impressed with your views. My son is a preop ftm, and i have to admit i know little about what he is going through. He keeps telling me he needs to be taught to socialize as a male?? but being male i have no idea what he means, do male and females socialise differently? am i missing something that i should know and teach him? I am trying desperately to be a good understanding father but have to admit at times i need help, and advice would be gratefully recieved!

Very simply, these things aren't discussed because the people who make money on those of you who get caught up in this ideology want to hide this information from you.

This _really_ needs to be talked about more. Thanks for sharing man! I’m lucky enough to be quite naturally androgynous, and have been passing as a boy and a girl since childhood. I’m now out as transmasc, but my entire life has been like a window into the completely different climates of manhood and womanhood. It’s much easier to pass as male as a child, because everyone looks pretty similar pre-puberty, so growing up passing as male and then growing out my hair for a few months at a time as passing as female, I’ve been able to experience both extremes up until now (age 19). I’d say that it was probably _even more pronounced_ as a child, but that may be because I’m in that odd strange that you mentioned where people respect you pre-T, but don’t _see_ you as entirely male. It’s startling the difference in the way you are perceived can shape your existence, and is, I think, one of the main factors that sometimes push individuals to de-transition. Thank you again for sharing your experience! It’s great to get word out there :)

OK. I have yet to see a trans man who does not wear facial hair.

Interesting video, dude :) I’m curious, what do you think of the ideas around transitioning as a trauma response?

I came out as trans after 18 years in the male role. I noticed the patriarchy for the first time. Coming from a white (presumed) cis male upbringing, you don't see how women are treated on a day to say basis. It's invisible at the start, then it's in your face as a pretty college student and one attempted rape could turn into an attempted murder. You notice things like comments constantly about your appearance, as if that's all that matters. And even other young women assume you aren't smart by default. You're just valued lower. I get intersectional Feminism now.

Lord some of these comments are rough...anyway what he said about the having to make yourself louder and more assertive when read as female but that comes off as aggressive as male is something that ive felt highkey in my transition. Really everything was super relatable. Transitioning is amazing but also weird and hard at times. Great video btw👌

You sound like that poor guy from Saltburn.

I’ve been gender non conforming my whole life, but when the changes from the T started in the last few months, I’m feeling a lot of aggression from cis men in public. A few days ago 2 young men followed me to a bus and I had an altercation with them on the bus. Pre- T I would have just kept my mouth shut, but for some reason when one of them said “I’m gonna smash you in your face bro”, I stood up and said “come on then, bring it dick wad” 🤦🏻 once I stood up, I had to keep going with it. I really don’t pass as male yet to anyone that’s looking properly and another passenger stepped in as I blocked a punch and they got off the bus. it’s tricky to work out how to take up space without coming across as a threat to young cis men.

My birthday is the 27th of march

Had my consultation just on the 29th January and waiting to have mine with Mr Kneeshaw who said it'll be 6 months or sooner ❤

*I never understood why they keep hating themselves, disliking themselves, but claim that others are the ''haters'' only for speaking the truth. Like, seriously, fact is that Nobody can be the opposite to what they are. A person is what they were since they spent months inside the womb, nobody can return to the womb either, can these facts soon be accepted?*

*The fact that some think there is ''happiness'' in injesting toxic chemicals and to ruin their body permanently is in my opinion VERY disturbing. Nobody at all can go from MtF nor from FtM bcz it is LITERALLY impossible. Like, also, why would you want to become a permanent guinea pig to the medical industry, why waste time and money to emulate what you will never be? It is nothing wrong in being a male or a female so it should not be seen as negative.*

I’m currently in the hospital after having my surgery with Peter kneeshaw he really is amazing! The hospital food is also surprisingly nice 😂 I’ve only seen a glimpse of my chest but I’m very happy I get to go home tomorrow and I’ll be coming back in on the 8th to get my drains removed. Like you he said I had good pecks and that it makes it a lot easier for nipple placement. I’m very happy for you and trust me you’ll be in good hands here

Why do you hate yourself?? What is it about being a gay woman that you despise so much??