kzfaq.info/get/bejne/nL5_nceDrbK-hqs.htmlsi=xo-nkBlgMeyPqvXk

like when dude got me weed, he tried checking out my ass, and the entire dispensary jumped up started checkin him n im like im outro so i went n bought a cute lil fuzzy sweater at thrift store for a $1 its zebra print but blue/gray striped with white.. wore it to my interview, think i got the job.. back at the reservations tho... worked so hard to get away from this but nope... right back to where i started

if i could have a group of "cops" be like a cartel id prob pick em for protection... like the other night, was it really an attack? idk... honestly i think it was just sexual fun but im always the one that steps away like nope... so i got to relax, and i do adventures like this.... cuz im crazy, like family messed my head up... so if cartel or what ever group understands that cuz i just exist idk what else to say to people, im not exactly if safest of live dynamics n then im mental to add on to it, like a wtf are you doing type issue cuz its so dumb n i have no answer except, usa told you im dumb af.. so.. idk

Why can't I find the music video for this?

stranguling the breed kzfaq.info/get/bejne/f96ldqh_xqy4ZGg.htmlsi=oaF8vbCc4HQ9WTWM

guy bought me my weed at the dispensary today... it was acctually sweet ... nobody does nice things like that for me for no reason...

I really miss this era of joey.. on some absolutey legendary sht

evrytime they lace me i come back as a dif shhh got that plan aced up king of murder wit this shhh going live wit the shots the 5th aint gon crack off in this bizzz spill a gallon of some blood as i smile up in thizzzz bizzzz snappin necks with the grip of a survivor swish cuz if it wasnt ankles wit the shots then its double takes in this bizz breakin brick after brick keep my hands steady through the shift cuz its a graveyard mentality when you servin bodies 24 sev

everything inside is just... gone... ive been shot stabbed cut all that... whys this pain never gone though

I dont know why im fighting to stay alive anymore.. and the old fashioned itll get better has been a lie .. cuz i just stopped caring.. the only thing i have to look forward to is a job where i cant even buy myself anything... sounds stereotypical drama queen bs but its acctually real... im tired and i want to go home... not have to worry about a job anymore...but i get so bored... for whatever reason it literally feels like my brain splits in 2... its that painful.... really... todays dreams tomorrows expectations... a thugs nightmares

them: its about doing a mid life crisis and.. me: i dont feel good, i needed more in my life, idc about the fun the support the change in life, nothing.. i dont wanna live with the pain i have and i dont feel friends would wait around to do a midlife when i dont want to be here in life... if thats what were doing i will be devastated.... i dont want this

I study all day listening to this album trying to graduate and chasing my dream, I hope one day i will listen to this and be proud of what i accomplished. Shit is hard being isolated, thanks PRO ERA for this masterpiece 💔

🔥🔥🔥🔥

i did have fun tho but most the night was not what ida done at all.. wtf...

them: who did this me: whites......... no... girls ... idk...

I like this one this a banger

Y'all ain't want problems I promise maaaan

what ever... i had fun getting whipped... so idk what to say... cuz yea i just like that side of things n she was good at it idk.. guilty pleasure.. i guess i dk.. but that i def liked no doubt in it... so... yea... i prefer not getting high... so.. yea dont do that... n i enjoy being able to come home ... im never trippin out like that again... she got the worst content that night ever... im like idk what ur gonna do with those , cuz this is not really... idk this could be done better... but yea idk..

i probably wudda had more fun if i was not fd up... i have no fn clue... idk cuz like i said idk if anyone was tryna hurt me or what but i did not like being high like that i wanted to leave n was too high to figure anything out...

so i convinced them to post from their phone with pictures i knew they took, but didnt have access to them.. how do i get access... i was like lets post n find someone or a multitude ... one lady was like no i dont want anyone coming over anyways i was like come on seriously... i got these 3 to do it anyways... im acctually glad i knew i was laced cuz i had to keep reminding myself whats happening...

someone gonna know somethings off by all the posts sent to all these dif emails.... im tryna get em caught cuz it aint my stuff but im not tryna be involved i have no real method to what the fuck im doing but i have to leave some evidence by getting em to post cuz im lost rn n i know if i get on there phones i can get to the pictures and show atleast one person im with... and have it in a database... and i know nobody has the best of my interest involved...

while sobering up i got them to finally confess to the desire... and i was like before u ask them for anything show me what tf ur doing ... i seen it i went no! 3 of em go, u just asked us too.. i said idc its still illegal to do this! im not tryna be arrested nor be a factor of the otherside...i said idc who they are whats traded if its just a reg date... i dontr even wanna f anyone rn... it might be a cop but id probably still f a cop if they were legally picking me up they dont were different they only wanna set me up or hurt me ok... so the best i went out with was a firefighter which is no better than some one willing to pay... even if its an undercover trap... this one did not listen went about it again i took his phone deleted his mesages he was gonna send.. he hid and still text em n is like look theyre into this.. i go i dont wanna f anyone yall got me drugged

im like i dont beleve any yall acctually being honest i dont trust you so something needs to happen ...

For one none of you are rich and will never be rich, all billionaires are dead and almost all millionaires are dead, Fort Smith Arkansas's stash of laundered hundreds of billions of dollars is gone, and the only funding the "We Are" cult has is the soon to be dried up funding that comes from busted scams. You guys were always fake rich to Begin with and you all are living on borrowed time as your time is short.

that ladys the most confusing ive ran into i have no clue what shes wanting from me n i have no idea what hes doing for her .. im like ytf do i need to be here at all cuz everythings shot in the dark to me

and i have no idea wtf they were tryna make work... but they were mad it didnt n i guess thats my fault... i have no fucking clue why im here

influential bullshit.. just essily manipulated .. basically everyone was... why am i there.. dont know ... wasnt exactly what i was signing up for.. so ya... i was treated badly cuz what others caused

and im like where are the rest of my clothes? someone put this on me i remember that... cuz i def showed up in a trench coat jeans n a tank top.. def didnt know this was a party.. cuz i swear i was just in someones bedroom

something bout beating someones ass with a broomstick some girl was talking bout... i was connecting with someone and im like ya im into things like that to shes excited but i say cuz i have stockholm.. so i leave it off to the side cuz i guess she used a knot n shes like im sorry she didnt know n im like no the real thing happened to me i know its just stockholm n i just leave it behind cuz the situation does affect me mentally so ya.. all these things were just forced on me... n when i explain people think im really moving that direction but i dont... so ya... worst thing imaginable at this point in life... so yea whatever life is

AB Used

i got 2 people to go on doublelist to do something... and something bout hooters... but i think i was tryna get home cudnt find anyone and this lady goes.. do you even know where ur at n im like i have no clue.. she texted one of the phones an address cudnt find anyone

nonconsensual consent is what they call it

there like we gotta get her outta here im like ya so get rid of the drugs cuz i do not wanna be here but i cant get home like this, dudes like u gotta relax like i gotta get u home tomorrow, im like i shudda been home dayz ago, so ur irritating me real bad cuz i dont, want to be here n its yalls fault so i dont wanna here from yall hes like u seem irritated just dont steal the car... im like if u aint up early man cuz so not cool .. n shes tryna tell me pursonal shit bout her life n im like im too high to even know what u said .. u were in a car reck it was bad but ur doing it cuz i gave this trans a massage n u get mad easily so either u gon elaborate n ima try to get the objective of what you mean so im waiting for u to move those directions cuz she plays sub... im like well what are you? n i think shes tryna clown trans playing females or shes crazy idk.. roleplay idk but if trans aint dom ur not dom n im not dom wtf do i do cuz im not trained like this... n shes pointing to her stuffed animals in the celing going thats my fav one, n its a pokemon thats evie but i dont think she cant get to it or theyre full of drugs.. so very wierd experience cuz its a idk.. she was like those are all my stuffed animals im like wtf are u tryna tell me

shes like u 2 cuddle, yea sure when blasted off your secret recipe.. not gonna probably happen... n shes getting mad n im like yea but u made the situation impossible to do.. im a cuddler, havent been with trans or guys not my thing, her attitude is very fem but like yea not gonna happen so were having sex we dont wanna have n im like i know what ur asking im not stupid but thats just not gonna happen... its a sex drug... n she hates cuddling im like i like to cuddler but u dont so another interest lost so idk what you want me to do about the fact u made this impossible this trans is like completely bowed down to her im like shes not changing her mind shes right but shes w5rong to ask that now at this point, im like what do u wanna do cuz yea.. n shes mad im like im not that type of cuddler... esp in this situation... ima dif sub n i do pre care n after care but yea ... unless its a hard domming why do i need after care cuz im not a dom im doing what was told by the sub next to me im prob not listening to her on these factors cuz i dont do this kinda session n im like im fd up but i can still keep a concious like yea stop that ur gonna get in trouble.. stop cuz ur not listening... n yall tryna train me to be a dom.... i dont wanna be a dom n the trans is sad.. im like im not getting in trouble doing something i dk you to make that choice just ask me to do what it is n if i can i will but, im not a pain dom in that sense.. so be ready to be told no cuz i just dont do pain i might do some sensory stuff where it looks like it cud be painful but honestly its not... its like a massage at best... n i still hate doing that at all .. id have to be begged cuz it turns me off to do this, im not a dom... they go u look like one.. yea well im not

i didnt have time for that

its a bad trip i can see that... n this dude goes, im looking for a banana.. im like, either u got one or u dont only so many places to look.. n she goes is the water half empty or half full... cuz the guest.. which is me n im like she does know... cuz the gossip.. in the back relating to some music industry... im like yea cuz why not... n im super depressed cuz i do not think ima land a job before eviction n im tired of life failing so yea ... i def do wanna kill myself

if i enjoyed being high i wouldnt be sober rn... but that person which is me did whatever it wanted... so when i felt it hitting cuz i knew she wasnt lying i went great so were gonna get skinnier from drugs not a diet n ima be up 24/7 so ima just be off on some shit, thats the goal cuz thats whats gonna happen n i do not have any control now n this part gone.. she goes yup.. im like great i had sex i wudnt say i enjoyed it all ..the bdsm whippin was good tho.. but yea i had sex cuz if i was sober i probably wudnt cuz my body doesnt exactly do that... then i got irritated cuz im like i cant get hard or get off.. shes like yea i know but ur gonna keep trying im like im sure i am ya i wanna screw real bad rn but im not bouta still high can control black outs kinda n im like wtf was it.. its just like molly im like yea but way worse, when i tried molly it only affected me for like 2 hrs n i was like yea sex not fun again but i wudmnt even say i got high then cuz im not taking a huge dose the first time cuz it was a fashion trend stops being one after u realize it suxs... to be high at all some arent like that n never quit.. cuz they do enjoy it.. but try it again n willingly prob not.. heres what happened cuz it but not a prob. cuz its not enjoyable.. hella bad week ... n not a life id acctually live, tryna get sober but the first high was fd up it lasted a week... n hopefully i can knock out soon cuz im tired but mind wont rest to sleep... n its a long story with new parts coming in ... cuz i would def not have went if i knew they brought this... it was fine 1 time not something id do again but i didnt have a choice... n then i just did whatever the fuck n the storys coming into view but not all of it... n they prob thought i was gonna just dip i didnt cuz i was too high i just walked away like no no way n for somereason i was happy im like nope i gotta figure out why im too fd up to go home n they were just like.. ok.. n then i found out what i did n its like i didnt think i was gonna go south.. well it did esp cuz i dont like being high n im like im def not tryna be mad at you but idk if u fully understand my issue. ima leave this convo n blast off again somewhere at some time for some reason im like u gotta help me get through this cuz its too much... n she didnt look happy with results n im like why would we be... n thenj i just gotta screw n idk bits pieces lots of blackouts n me going wtf am i doing n why

cuz shes like what if i did it and u dont know im like ya sure.. shes like idk cuz istantly it was today.. that was 5 days ago.. i didnt even process it and was blacked out

like she did, humiliate the shit outta me but she was not the only one to just pass em up... im high n im like wtf am i doing when idk what im doing hopefully i find out what should be doing.. i got impossibly high cuz all the other added influence around it and i hate being high... probably only reason i was humiliated but.. yea.. can we lable it legal i do not think so, i was gonna get laced one way or another but i think i did die from it.. so i go, she can acctually work me over like ive never seen but thats just not safe for either party... thats why i dont like illegal drugs involved in bdsm... it cud be fun in dynamics but not any i truly want or need to test... humiliation aint destroying me yet cuz im like wtf do u expect i didnt even know what drugs i was on n its like, wait what? its like molly n im like yea but i dont need this but no too often someone has balls like that to video tape it all, but weven if i wanted it.. thats not legal... n even hospital drugs the high is too comfortable but theres no damn addiction when u get that high u just keep going with it ur too high to rember anything but when u drink same thing... ordering beers u dont remember drinking but trust me it was not just 2.. ur blackout high n the addictions being forced... i just hate being high... esp like that high.. hell no, even molly im like ya i tried it once n theres many times i cudda i dont want too n shes like ur getting laced n ima enjoy it.. but ya.. i think it was scarier than anything cuz at the house dude was like how long have u been up n im like idk.. ebven right now im alot more chilled out with body function but now my minds running on hyper drive n i still cant sleep cuz its a story about an entire week i have n idea about... n im like but i remember this n im def sober to go wtf was i doing and why???? but real life hangover, that shit happened n when i said u made me a crackhorror i was like no joke she goes no i didnt n im like yea u really did tho but it wasnt crack.. god damn like really??? n yea its too outta hand dont recommend that for anyone, n they really were like i thought u had tolerance like us, im like no n im pretty sure i was given more drugs than all yall combined too and idk wtf im doing u got me way too high like if its alcohol im drinking it idc what bottle u got... so when i did finally get sober off whatever the fuck i was like no i dont need any weed no i dont need alcohol no i dont need other shit.. this is where im trying to get to so i can manage being at my house n i got a lot of questions hopefully theyre answered.. that shits no joke... n there are people who enjoy popping drug cherries n theres no benefit just addiction ... n u left me in that situation n im like nope i have no idea whats gonna happen when i get home.. i still gotta walk to my house baseed off locations.. na... cuz this aint cool.. n im tryna find out what happened cuz i was not told prior cuz the coversations confusing n itsa well good luck but heres a secret thats not a benefit all the time just when its straight up the drug n i grabbed that water bottle smelled it cant really smell anything but it tasted like shit.. so im grabbing available water but im pretty sure it was all laced.. n its not even a party theres 3 of us.... n im high but i knew they were like on my memories ya but why tf am i soooo fn high... 5 dayz? cuz i got home to a calender.. im like idk how many days it was n i know i havent got ahold of any of that info yet so all sober dk the day or when i technically showed up... till i got home n im like 5 days

ill cry cuz humliation before i do fro pain usually but that means it was not good n probably damged cuz some humility i like but.. some of it goes too far.. so i sound crazy when i go pains better...

howd we get where we were going this week... entrapment of the crossdresser n female ... the bdsm was enjoyable but i rember being whipped like its a simple memory but idk how i got there.. shes not tryna kill me she was still scared to whip me n i was like trust me thats prob not gonna kill me it might not go super hard but its gonna feel good .. n idk i just rember that part n i was like, this is really good.. but i had a dad that beat me till i cried so its in my head, go head make me cry not gonna stop when tears fall either

im like u really are doing this? n i go i told u .. its gotta be legal n it just doesnt work these ways all these options are gone.. u can record ur porn n put on ad share n its not like ur gonna get rich.. not tryna get rich but yea its just meant to be a roleplay thats video tapped but if u can find a away like moving to amstardam then sure we cud is that a good option to have my dom as my manager n financial assistant.. no not unless its ur spouse n still... they gotta prove that status... n i only like the idea of it id probably hate it in real life even if we did manage this.. cuz i see the humiliation as a turn on cuz stockholm but in that condition i see these women doing it n im like thats humiliating n im like probably the best part for me i hate seeing u acctually have to but can i swap it out? no.. strippers show boobs ... i dont have any to help but ya id rather do it than you ... n thats only cuz stockholm n im a fucking idiot at times ... but i no guilty pleasures n acting on em so its like no, not everything is gonna make stay in a situation but if im there.. prob bad... does bdsm connect to society this way? no, not really.. is there humility in it, yea but im more about pain that all that stuff, n depending on situation i can take a lot of pain so sometimes ill challenge u like, its a feather u can try gonna see no results then u got like a flogger more pain but u possibly cud get me to go ok, too much n u dont just jump to hardest u still test it bottom up based on what u know .. this is the devil game cuz i can pretty much trust someone to do this n theyll go ur probably right but im not tryna make it uncomfortable, yea i know but go head.. id probably get mad before i cried.. like its not easy.. but i do like the game unless ur not playing the game cuz a real dom doesnt give u the credibility.. ur gonna say harder before u go stop... cuz it is pleasurable like a good massage but yea ... but i do like some pain where im like ok thats decently applied lets me know capability or what not... but bdsm is not like u think, like i cud do sadism with pain in some areas but i dont trust sadists... as doms... i dont like blood n its there pretty often... but they do not care about hurting u, they dont usually.. its twisted... bdsm is like sparring n sadism is like the war.. n america does support that.. im 50 50 cuz there shouldnt be a high structure of wound care but not all sadist go that hard some lower pain dwellers are like the level thats a lil above bdsm n lowest parts of sadism... cuz its about managing something that is a not pleasurable fully but it is still pleasurable.. the pain is still a pleasure but yea just a lil harder type thing but i stick to bdsm cuz ya.. life dumb as sh.... its the image of it all... cuz like fear cud make someone cry but its not painful.. im more likely to cry cuz u broke my heart or told me a heart felt story... so go head but breaking hearts hurts too much theres no repair.. cuz theres no sessions after that... i dont even know what makes me cry, usually frustration n i cant handle it.. so being restraint at said point leaves me having to work thru tears cuz the accomplishment later n thats stockholm... and i dont like manipulation not easy to apply to bdsm.. so dont go breaking a bone people still dont cry... its more pivotal n cuz u know ur sub ... electricity tho, thats diff cuz that shitll make ur eyes water cuz right nerve.. and i will say stop before i cry... so go head but its not exactly possible with our options n still its a build up dont just go nuts .. at 100.. cuz theres electro tools start of as massage therapy, but sometimes its like ok i get it stop, my dom would prob assest that cuz its an imaginary one n go just a lil farther its noot gonna kill u worst that happens is u probably cry.. no bllood broken bones or too hardcore but its like see.. ur fine yea it hurt just a lil more but no wound or anything. but its pretend ive never lived that, cuz doms usually are too nice....

shes like do u even know what the address is here... im like no, idk wtf is really going on.. rn were doing this stupid game that got us here, n yea, u can legally meet for a drink n smoke, but u can illegally meet up with this stuff on hand too n get it from people while screwing... i cud get this done n yall would have drugs alcohol cigarettes n weed n so on, sometimes i match sometimes i bring sometimes they do... but im not meeting up for hardcore drugs n any i see willing to meet up i dont wanna thats why i go, can u leave that outta my touch, genuinley people do listen, my mom was one of em... most the time untill it got bad.. so when i see meeting based of intention around illegal activity like mushrooms n meth.. no, get it away from me, most are decent people, sometimes u run into things were people love drugs so much theyll be jammed pack to let u try it... can we meet up with people for drinks or some weed? yes... but i dont even smoke weed recreational.. i dont like being around drugs... cuz ive been laced n dateraped ... theres lots of people who will come over n chill n u expect to be screwing once u do... ive made no promise to screw... cuz i show up when theres still nothing ... if u got bdsm toys ya def. i like bdsm.. but i was raped on one of them n no drugs were involved not even tobacco was allowed ... bad experience.. what changes the situation is when it still comes out when i said keep it out my sight ... so she goes i sent the address to your phone? where is it.. cuz u said address wasnt found.. im like the email address wasnt found... shes like u dont know the address.. wrong address but thanks i needed that... so would i do a scene with multiple people, yea.. but when its a like s.l.ut. type roleplay theres legal ways to do ur kink n not be a illegal funder... theyre like.. oh... cuz i sold u on an idea.. but this is what my intention was.. and yall really think ima let u make money hand to hand by inviting people to join in .. n i go the best that would happen is they get drugs... n i told u that if u have illegal drugs.. hide them cuz that can be a cop just as much so as the one tryna get em, you guys needa stop.. this... n put it all away before.. too late it happens cuz they heard u can do this but i never said its still not legal... so people fall into a trap like when going, i have mushrooms n i go.. do not bring them with you do not have any in the car, dont bring em out around nothing... i gave yall the chance and what happened? we added more illegal intention to the kick.. cuz when i find some to meet n were meeting up, if i ask first do u smoke n drink or what theyll go no or go i do but im out n some go yea but my drinks mine n so is my smoke... i said the only real benefit from this situation id build cuz supporting people n my family is impportant n is kinda a turn on to me to be financially supportive but all u can really do is record n put it on pornhub for donations but even on other sites asking for donations isnt chill... esp when sex is provided in a meet n not online.. and honestly i have no idea what ud earn but its not gonna be worth it probably .. ur even better off being a maid n then screwing ur client but when its a selling point its not good... so the best we got is i meet for freewith maybe a drink or 2.. discuss the scene do it and then market it 50 50 n giving a way my 50 to my dom in part.. if i dont need money.. i like doing that.. but ive never done these things ... war looks fun n so on but.. this is what it is when u get there.. so i had to take the phone, im like no yall are not understanding... what youre doing is not chill, they best u got is this, n thats not illegal but its like hey were gonna get drunk n high n fuck n.. yea.. probably not, gonna look good to society like ya slutted situations a turn on make it a reality n its illegal... sure go head n run the search but before u invite them over let me see what was said cuz best ur gonna get is theyre ready to meet, n then u ask them to bring alcohol n they prob will cuz they know.. theyre getting sex.. but youre all on the intention of getting freeshit cuz me.. so let me see the phone n them n ill tell u if i would or wouldnt cus idc what theyre bringing esp when i dont benfit n yall do... this idea is dumb its somet6imes fun to discuss n sometimes not... n theyre like im only doing it cuz u asked n im like ya but i never said i would meet up with someone for sure, cuz the best we got is u invite some for me with no benefit and we can record a good scene but idk what u can earn from it.. if i go out with yall.. its a few shots maybe a joint or 2.. but we already discussed our kinks n a lot the time i brought something to share or money to get something to eat if you did bring or i bring drinks.. what do i gain by doing what im doing? nothing i dont even ever get dinner bought for me... i just think itd be cool if we had a legal situation for these to work since i did express my game plan like in france where it is legal.. other than that.. i strip n then u make money.. i dont even have boobs so tell me how this is gonna work if it did? like i said if we were in a relationship which is what im intending to do in the future, id pass my wife my foodstamp card or credit card but not my girlfriend n i still dk if i cant trust my wife this gurl goes then give it to me give me the stamps im like first off, no cuz i dont have any, second i dont know you yet, it makes me feel good when i can provide for whose close to me n it can be harmful so its like no i gotta be aware but i still think itd be fun to strip n payout my wife so she doesnt have to provide nor do that humliating job... its fine doing whats responisible but it can get in the way when bonners pop from nowhere n ur like this is dumb why does this happen, n idk, but its dependable on stockholm syndrome so i dont really pay attention to it, n when im around people that would sex work me out n not care bout legality yea i sold u on an idea but why is it being sold when it shouldnt be.. think real hard, is what everyone doing responsible cuz i said hes what we want n want to accomplish, but heres everthing in the way n heres a loophole, like when i meet up sometimes people try giving me a lot of stuff n im like no, ill clean ur house for free though.. esp if staying over n u provided dinner i did not even eat cuz i havent had that... theyre like this is what u asked n i said no, best we got is this n whats gonna be done is worry bout is alcohol n drugs... cuz is this really a good idea or just sometimes fun to talk about cuz u can try n its not gonna really succeed... best is u meet up off kinks share a relaxing moment between a drink before u do everything for free n post on porn hub to profit from donations... that meet no real cost cuz ur cost on the items ... would i let you pick someone, ya thats why i said be cool if u cud do this with a cop but to do that, what u gonna say, bring me beer? no, cops not doing porn, be cool if we cud but we cant... too unprofessional... thats why theres cop impersonaters they use... cuz its sellable by ad revenue and membership costs... like just living a normal family life, my goal, but thats not really possible so im like now i can watch porn cuz my gf doesnt exist no more n i can watch

one point i swear she said i use to remember ur name but i forgot .. im like i see that cuz i have no idea wtf is going on.. so the punch was spiked too strong n it was just a fantastic moment let me say.. im in a maze idk how to get outta... ill have a drink ill smoke some weed... but im never gonna push myself to that... shit... cuz like when i tried molly.... nowhere near wtf that was.... but i swear some mentioned ketamine n im like well i said the high of going numb n not able to move is relaxing idk what ketamine does but yea thats the good part of hospital drugs is theres a lot of relax with no real high or falling out.. i dont wanna go on a fn drug expedition n find out where im at 10 days later... but if thats ur comparison i guess but im not doing ketamine .... that relaxing feeling is not mind altering, i dont like mind altering or anything that makes confused n just acting off stupid instict i have no control over .. i never said blacking out.. n going haywire... thats an outside comparison... if u feel that way i guess but ive never tried it n dont want to... who dosed me... kattie did n katties mean

i was like.. i told you, she did this, thats when he went searching n was like no, all this has to go... im like yea... we all know everythings fd up... if i wanna have sex.. somethings wrong.. cuz sex pills just give a hard on this things will make u addicted to sex like its a drug n u get no stimulation so its like... worst experience ever but thats obviously not what ur thinking at the time.. cuz what ur thinking at the time is nothing ur just doing things n u either remember or u dont.. she cudda done it on purpose cuz he cheated but she came with him to get me... so idk what to say... i did not have a good week, still dont even have a job, im getting evicted soon, i still feel like shit... like i didnt like molly when i tried it, i was its fine for wanting sex but its adjitating cuz its not exactly a good experience... u crave somethings that just feels bad n u have no idea why ur even doing it... like if ur giving me a sleeping pill or melatonin in my drink thats one thing cuz its 1 am n i cant sleep very well at night.. nope were surprised n im like i can feel it coming on now, thats when ur body gets numb, then u probably black out n go about life as a totally new individual.. with some crazy sh going on, im like thats not melatonin n i still wasnt comfortable with that, it just makes sense cuz mental ward n hospitals will mix medicine into food n drinks like fiber one so this rule is bs n those are safe drugs no illegal or hardcore drugs i do not remember mTf.. this week

hes like what was in that cup there that she gave you n im like, idk n that was today, he trew it out n was like, dont take anything from her, n im pretty sure she laughed n said thats not his cup its urs, u poured it.. n he threw it away...

shes like yup figured that out the hard way... shes like u said this is in molly so i thought itd be fine but nope.. yea id never touch that in the right state of mind ... not chill at all, n i think it was more than one thing cuz there were liquids some things we laced some items were just being smoked like it was weed or dabs n nope n theres no ventilation so yea, 5 mins in for like 3 days.. my body went about life in the most fd up ways.. n im like i am not happy about this at all, n u cant counter balance highs to that extent.. like a downer doesnt chill it out.. n u just stay on the move ... till ur no longer high... its euphoric but its not fun as an experience... cant think right, i wasnt even speaking clear words at some points ... hes like u need to drink a lot of water, im like cant cuz she put something in it n its hard hitting the most cuz it was laced with a bunch of crap... n like she said, there was a bottle that smelled like some bs but that was straight dosage n then there were mixes, she made me a drink, n he goes what did she put in ur cop this time n im like idk why? i didnt drink it, that ones urs.. n he threw it away

im irritated about the high, not at her but none of this relatively sounded like a good idea, when i say i dont do hardcore drugs.. i dont ... regular dose to yu, means ima be overloaded... n i saw she didnt expect that to happen cuz i didnt leave, i kinda just took over the house n was like no.. way.. im going home.. like this.. cuz first thing first people gonna notice n probably report you .. like im tryna explain to her, this is legal means of making everything work, going thru with certain roleplays are illegal, if oits roleplaying then no, but like theres usually a legal way of things , thats why my first message is, you better not bring any hardcore drugs with u and i dont wanna be around them, like i straiight up told her my mom died that way from dosin herself, that girl went, not usually into uppers mostly downers last night.. a lil too different i go, i dont do any uppers ever... never ever ever

something was off about everything ... but like she wanted it clear he cheated, n shed be fine as a dom for me if she understood better but he knew where all the left out shit was... n he goes, somethings off about this n im like yea if ur just now hearing about this , but i think he set her up for a 3 sum she didnt want i was told different idk what i said while all fucked up but im sure i said, yea ive had all these experiences too n they turn me, like this n this n this... if i can get over the fact i dont like it i probably cud enjoy it, i dont think thats one of them ... cuz homedude had mushrooms, asked if i wanted some i said no cuz i might have a bad trip, he said true, even with how i microdose, its a kevel high but not withh hallucinations .. unless if u tried it rn, in this new environment, cuz yea i cud like doing mushrooms but today probably a bad time ... i wasnt laced with mushrooms for sure... im vocalizing choices with her while high n it makes no sense , yea dont do this on a first date

im like if yall threw away all these hidden drugs we cud get somewhere... everything was thrown out n things started shifting ... i wake up in the middle of all this im like are yall into adult baby things, they go, no.. im like i need a mouth gaurd binki or some teething ring cuz this is insane.. she goes i got onzies n a binki.. im like im not tryna wear a onsie im tryna not piss everywhere, hes like trust me u dont need one, im like i need something for my mouth so she got me a teething ring which basically helped none