you look crazily similar to my mom who has passed! you are also in somewhat the same field of work (she was a therapist for foster children) Watching you makes me feel like I'm listening to her give me motherly advice on my relationship!

Letting go is the only options sometimes. And it can be the best for the addict and those who love them. There are also those addicts who are close to gang members, money laundering, prostitution, and lots of things that make the decision easier, to Let go.

I relate to the financial issues the most and probably resentment

455 days now since detox and all that time no alcohol. but i still think life is crap. so don't expect miracles if u stop being an alcoholic.

sad part is not one alcoholic is rational enough to even watch this unless they aren’t drinking anymore. people actually drinking avoid help at all cost they are so delusional

Life can be and is difficult. I thank my loving Savior. 🙏 we all let him get through 1 at a time. 🙏❤️

What do you think about excusing criminal acts because of addiction?

How do you stop a dopamine withdrawal?

I described it to my mom as being the addict's protector

Hi Amber ,, everything you say here ,, occurred in my relationship,, especially losing control of them once they moved out ,, if only to a flat at the top of the street.,I was having some success getting them to come to my place if ( boundary) sober, but this gradually ended . Eventually she asked me to help her stop ,, but what caught me out ,, was how far she’d driven up her consumption,, tolerance, and addiction. So ,, apart from being drawn back into the bad guy role after only a few days she,, then ,, typically,, hid away ,, and relapsed in a town centre bar ,, well ,, relapsing in public places for women is highly dangerous,, not that she remembers much about it ,, . I pulled her out of the ditch 65 miles away at 4am . Miracle that I found her and ,, if not for being filled with antifreeze , she would probably have died

I am your sister from Yemen, and by Allah I only spoke out of hunger and distress. My mother, my brothers, and I lessons and tears. We are in a situation that only God knows about. God is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs for those who brought us to this situation. By Allah Almighty, I did not write this appeal out of distress and distress. Poverty, O world, they have felt it So, I hope for you. By Allah Almighty, Lord of the Great Throne, he ate what I had in the house. By Allah, my brothers, he is my brothers by sitting in the house. Who has no food? By God, we are in a very difficult situation. We have 4 people entering the house, and my father has died, and there is no one who can depend on us and who lives in it.We live in a rented house because we cannot pay the rent we owe. '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''''''' My brother, my first words are: I swear to God that I will not lie to you or deceive you. I am a Yemeni girl displaced from the war. My family and I live in a rented house in Al-Shahrab 20,000 Yemenis amongs, and now we owe 60,000 for 3 months. The owner of the house is one of the people who does not have mercy, by God, my brother. He comes every day, insulting us, talking about us, and moving from the house to the street because we were unable to pay him the rent. The neighbors saw us crying and came back.They came back to talk to the neighbors and we were given the weekend. So we made him swear by God. He will take us out into the street. Have mercy on him and us. Our country is due to this war and we do not find food for our day, and my brothers and I live in a difficult life. Our father died, may God have mercy on him, and we have no one in this world who was with us in these harsh circumstances. My younger brothers went out into the street and saw...The neighbors eat and stand at their door in order to give them bread even if they break it. By God, to whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, they closed the door and expelled them and came back crying. They are dying of hunger. No one has mercy on them and a holiday is returned. I have made a living, and now if us helps us with a kilo of flour, I swear to God, I am dying of hunger. My brother, I am an alien to God. Then, I ask you to help me for the sake of God. I ask you, by God, to love goodness and to help me, even if you can, by messaging me on WhatsApp.On this number 00967772168484 and ask for the name of my card and send it and do not be late and may God reward you with all the best, my brothers Sagar, see how they are and help us and save us before they throw us out in the street, you will be lost or we will die of hunger. My family and I ask you, by God, if you are able to help us, do not be late and may God reward you well..`/--~«««~,;,;,;,'¡¡¡¡\¡\¡\¡..¡¡..¡`¡`¡~¡~¡~¡~¡`¡¡~¡~¡¡¡¡¡¡~¡~¡~¡~¡~......

All of this… Every. Single. Bit. Of. It. The “Sides” were *already* so completely divided…12 break ups ago. Maybe 13. 😔💔

Hi, My relationship just ended because I told my ex I couldn't live with her drinking every day. I still love her though I know that maybe she didn't love me the same way. This is painful.

My favorite part is she said is if it’s left in the dark, it’s growing

Everytime I watch one of your videos I feel like I’m sitting down with a psych giving me a reading. So much of what you say is what I’m going through. I have such bad trust issues with my person. And just recently I’ve been feeling in my guy he’s hiding something. So my mind wonders to crazy thoughts. I mentioned it to him and of course he ignores me. He’ll just call me crazy anyway. I hate living like this. You care about a person there should be respect and honesty.

Good content but too many adds

KZfaq deleting my comments again. And this one was so benign! WTF YT?

If you haven't seen the interview, watch Piers Morgan interview with the mother of Hunter Biden's abandoned daughter. It's a fascinating case study on family dynamics. She wrote a book and is scheduled to testify in his trial.

Communication was the worst, and secondarily the trust. I combated the financial piece with Dave Ramsey and got us out of debt. I worry that I fueled his addiction by giving him an alcohol budget, but he was part of the discussion and it was approached as straight up budget items. He switched from buying nice beer to only vodka 100% of the time in order to save money, but I never said anything to him about it. I think there is no way to do things exactly right. Everything is a trade off and addiction will blame you for anything it can find. He is proud that we conquered the debt, so I guess I did something right 😅

I’ve been applying your insight to my relationship with my sister (and her demon) for a couple years now and SHE AGREED TO GO TO TREATMENT…about 2 hrs ago!!! Especially helpful were your videos on denial, and stages of change (D.A.R.N.) means so much to me thx❤️

So simply ...what do you think? 🤔

Thankyou 🙏

Are there any subtle phrases that I can add to my blog posts that might be able to help pull if not both my cousin and his wife out of their problems, at least pulling my cousin out of his problem? His wife follows my blog and I don’t know if she shows him any of my posts. All I can do is hope that she does.

Also, do they have to lose something valuable in order to come out of denial?

I need to know when do you Confront the drinking as a spouse living with them. Do you ignore it all to let them self sabotage or is you ignoring the drinking also buffering the rock bottom. I woudk think leaving or confronting us to bring the bottom up bc it shows the family is dysfunctional and not okay with it. So I’m confused about how to react to drinking when they don’t think it’s bad but it is until the sun comes up and makes them cause fights and say really mean things and drive off in the middle of the am and not apologize so I can allow the issues for themselves but they have so much good luck and no one else really says anything. The friends and coworkers that haven’t liked the bad mood etc have disappeared but the mood is in between the drinking and the drinking is only once or twice a week so it’s like denial is easy when they are functional in most other ways ..couldn’t this take years of mistreatment and disrespect and the kids seeing it unless I leave?

Love your videos. They help a lot.

I am hoping that our family will be joining your program.

I just had my relationship end because I noticed she drinks everyday, about 5 to 10 beers. I had planned a future with her but she chose to keep priority, her Corona's. Also because I didn't give her more money. This has destroyed me and I have a constant feeling of empty and confused. I was dedicated to her and her children but she chose to end it. I don't think I'll trust again.

Amber is 100% right. Rock bottom is death. Ask yourself what you can live with. Being kind and decent (within your boundaries) is a better choice and one you won't regret.

I have a acholic husband who drinks from the time he gets up till bedtime and gets up in the middle of the night. It sucks and I'm tired I'm drained and I lie to my family my friends my job just to look like I'm happy. His addiction has made me depressed and wanted to end my life at times cause I can't take the mental, emotional, financial and physical abuse. I don't care what anyone says it's horrible he's horrible and he knows he has control cause I will lose my home my car everything cause he's the money maker and he points it out. I want to be happy but I can't and he's broke my heart my soul just everything. And I don't want to drag my son's into it that's not their dad and I know they will beat the daylights out of him. I don't want to ruin others lives with my problem. Police suck they don't care. It's not gonna end till something real bad happens. Welcome to a look into a abused woman's life

I’ve been an alcoholic since my early twenties I’m now 64,I’ve never been nasty to anyone ever,I work and never miss a day my children love me for I have always been kind and generous to them,I don’t think I’ll change at this late stage

Im in a system where they the addicted are addicted to abusing people ( bullying people) so they feel better about themsef_ like the Nazis. Where we get stuck is when they say I love then they poop on u.

😩😩😭😭😭😭😢💔

“Running & Chasing” is a great way to describe it. With help from what I learned from Amber, I stopped chasing, but my ex continued running…and avoiding reality. Ultimately, she resented me for my efforts to deal with her alcoholism, while I resented her for ignoring it.

My love been sober for 44 years and still sober no such term more excuses you are a Alcoholic or your not are you pregnant or are you not be honest with your self and be Honest with other people get REAL love sober alcoholic Rock and Roll Stan try getting sober you might like yourself Stan did 44years and liked my true self love Stanley

My partner has a cocaine addiction and i cant believe i waited 15 years just to realize he will never stop ... now i have to break my family up just to save my son from seeing his father live his life of addiction... i m so tired of feeling emotional knowing iam slowly watching my partner destroy himself health wise ... trying to tell myself in the long run , leaving and stopping the enabling will save him .... 😢

Women always trying to sell something

👋 bro died last April, lost job next month, not worked for year, about to go back to work, in between that been depressed! Drinking n smoking. Alone in house. 56 soon, female... lot of long stories.. I'm listening to learn!

Hi Amber. I ask my husband to spend more time with me and he avoids the situation. I believe its because he knows that i dont agree with how much he drinks and he has shame and needs to hide the amount from me. I know he is thinking how do i spend more time with her and still drink the same amount. He is high functioning . How do i appriach this. I have done all things wrong and been in the bad guy role but dor about a year now have been watching your videos and have stooped being bad guy.

Hi Amber, thank you for your videos! They are helping me form a plan and stay sane while I share my life with my AH. I have a request about your video format. Your info is wonderful, but a lot of your videos are long, yes, even these 30 minute videos! I do have the attention span to watch them but not usually the time, as I have to either give up some sleep or some “non-essential” self-care to take the time to watch. I know you have short videos to, but Would it be possible to have shorter “sister videos” of these same topics but in more of a summary, bare-bones format, and link them to each other so that people can access the content they need as time permits? Please let me know if that’s something you might try in the future or, as I’m relatively new to your channel, maybe you already have that all set up and I just haven’t connected the dots yet. 😊 Thanks again, and thanks for helping a lot of people, including me.

Thanks!

He is a functioning alcoholic and pot smoker. My behavior has become so resentful towards him and I’m always a stick in the mud around him. I don’t know if I can ever be accepting of him using and I don’t know if it’s even about that anymore. I’m always judging him.

You have the most beautiful eyes.

I cleaned the house more just to please my alcoholic husband. It is generosity to do these things for your partner. It didn’t help the marriage any, bc the addiction was still going full tilt. But now the house looks worse since he’s not here, so I don’t clean for him.