i dont see anything wrong with keeping your promise it aint your fault he's basically a deadbeat and i like the fact that OP isnt forcing a relationship between the kids

Just because the sister has cancer, it does not mean that all of a sudden OP's life has to revolve around her. What's going to happen when OP hits 18? Is she going to be expected to not live an independent life Interstate her sister's side like a personal nurse made? Boundaries need to be put down, right now.

That's hilarious.

This arrangement was a bad idea from the beginning. OP was so focused on not being alone that she did not consider the ramifications of what might happen by bringing this many kids under the same roof and what would happen if they didn't like each other.

OP's wife is a champion

Your story is incredibly heartfelt. It’s clear how much you love and appreciate your boyfriend. How are you holding up right now?

Nah op it sounds like your husband is just dailing it in and since you're a more involved parent than your husband your step daughter notices your husband's lack of care. Odds are he married you hoping you'd be your step daughter's second parent since he has zero plans to be it.

LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!

Reminds me of the story of a man named Homer Simpson story.

A deadbeat trying to push his responsibilities into OP's lap.

This is what happens when 2 people with kids marry and believe they can just "be in charge of their own kids". Thats not how it works, yes Elizabeth mother is still around but OP should be able to get herself into her stepdaughter and same goes to her husband. The kids behavior with her stepsister is troublesome, since there must be a deeper reason to it other than "we have different set of rules for each parent to deal with". Now, talk to the kids, all 3, and see if anything can be done and no, you are not the A for keeping a promise to your kids. Nothing is preventing your husband to do the same with his daughter.

First of all, NTA. Everyone else though? AHs here and there. The girl for not respecting OP's boundaries. The gym for not doing anything to stop this. But, especially OP's wife. Sure, she's laughing now. Until a sudden S-harassment complaint or whatever bullsh*t comes up, or when she starts feeling insecure. This is no laughing matter. All of them are basically s-xualizing and objectifying OP. Reverse the genders? Nuclear fallout.

NTAH

Op you have a right to not being recorded while minding your own business

If she's got a camera recording. Tell her what a creepy broad she is.

Recording videos in the gym should be banned

Why tf are you even having 4 kids bro.

It's all fun and games until your wife feels the pinch of Haley posting a video "my gym crush SA'd me." But at that point, you'll be the only one hurt.

Someone needs to inform Joey

NTA. Her "gym crush?" That explains why she got defensive. When OP started pulling back, Hayley knew that there was no way anything would be going down between the two of them, so she flipped it on OP and started throwing out accusations of body shaming and sexualizing her. OP needs to make sure he does not come in contact with this woman, because she has an unhealthy infatuation if she is making up fictional situations to tell social media about how the two of them have something going on. This is exactly why men are so anal about avoiding even the appearance of impropriety with women in public.

Nah NTA. If you don't want to be recorded and the other person doesn't agree on it, then you don't need to help them.

Nothing inappropriate??!! Bruh she’s lying about OP. Not to mention being a ass at the gym and not respecting boundaries.

Initial thought: the woman let her "baby boy" live unchecked around an ab.user for 12 years, never once letting him know she's still alive, then show up when the will is whout to be read to say he's the most important thing in her life. Sounds like OP isn't the thing she is talking about. After the update: she cannot give an inheritance before she passes away, so I dunno what she is talking about. But this whole thing is really suspicious timing, as EVERYONE HAS AN EXCUSE, EVERYONE IS EAGER FOR THE RECONNECT, BUT NOBODY TOOK ACTION!!! Also, OP is 17, so legally a minor. Mighty sus. My advice, talk to the probate lawyer.

Poor OP. I hate cheaters, both men and women.

NTA why don't her mom cut her hair

4:27 ah yes, calling him a dick and an asshole is going to change his mind after you believed your drunk sister over him

So she left to escape an abusive partner. Okay. But why would she leave her "baby boy" with someone who supposedly had anger management issues? It's pretty clear that this woman is not emotionally sound if she is offering to leave her husband and family just to make things up to him. A well-adjusted person does not behave like this.

The boyfriend was never OK with this job. He tried to ignore. The moment it was shoved in his face he couldn't ignore it anymore. They never had a future together

I hope op demanded a paternity atleast. Everything about their relationship gives me the chills

It's not a question of "what should I do?" It's an answer of what you should say!!👉 *"€μ¢!« off !!"* Edited@4:20👍

People who shave their heads do it without being asked, they aren't asked, then bullied into it. OP's family really sucks for making her feel bad about this but funny, I didn't hear that mom shaved HER head

I just feel bad for the kids honestly they are indeed not wanted by anyone and are old enough to figure it out. The trauma and ptds they probably have is so heartbreaking💔 I don't think no one is the villain yet is another case where all the adults family or not failed to protect them.

Does OP sure that it was him, did she check the number not just the name. The ex friend could use 2 phones and write fake conversations

Hmmm...Not saying it isn't true, but OP should talk to her fiance first. What if the friend was lying? Can she confirm with the roommate or the coworkers? There are many cases where one party just wants to sabotage the other. Waiting for an update.

NTA, when you are not the father figure for your step daughter than why babysit her, not your circus not your monkey

Yeah, that would instantly make me lose any feelings I had, and any sense of attraction as well. Gross behaviour.

UPDATE : I wanted to give an update on my situation. I talked to my mom again and also reached out to some relatives. They confirmed that my mom had mentioned my dad had anger issues in the past. She explained that, despite his anger issues, my dad was a good father to me, which made things more complicated for her. She said she feels ashamed and regrets leaving me behind. The relatives also apologized and admitted they had told my mom to divorce or break up with my dad, but they didn’t expect her to disappear. They said they watched over me and saw that my dad and I had a good relationship, and they felt guilty about trying to contact CPS because they didn't want to disrupt my life further. My mom apologized profusely. She admitted that it isn’t an excuse, but she was young and weak and ran away from her problems. She said she can’t live without me anymore and desperately wants to make things right. Seeing her like this broke my heart for the first time. I asked her if she was doing all this just for money or something because some people were mentioning that she might want the money or stuff I got from my father. She denied it and insisted that her intentions were genuine. To prove it, she said she’s willing to give me her entire inheritance and any money I need which I accepted. She’s trying really hard to show that she’s serious about reconnecting and making things right. She also still wants to take me on a vacation wherever I want to go and said she will pay for all of it. I might accept going on the vacation with her just to see how things go. I’ve been distracting myself with the gym, trying to process everything. We’re planning to meet up later this afternoon so she can give me the money, but honestly, I don’t care about the money. I just want to make sure she’s serious. Part of me wants to believe her, but another part of me is still hurt. Thank you for all the advice and support so far. Also thanks to my gym buddies they been supportive even though this is a personal matter. ********************* LIKE & SUBSCRIBE

Op, you didn't lose your future, you were spared years of lies and misery. Wish you best luck.

NTA. Your reputation was stained, and every time Mel looks she will still see that stain.

Notice how OP never mentioned anything about his father's behavior being a--sive. Now he might've been good to OP and not good to his mother but in the end she left a 5 year old with a supposedly a--sive man and didn't do anything to get him back. Never reached out. Has there been any mention in the comments about the father's behavior?

What a selfsish person the little sister is. I would feel bad if someone cuts his hair because of me. I even had a "similar" story. My parents booked a vecation for themself. And the flight would go in 4 days. 2 days after the booking i was hospitaliest and had a surgery. My perents did not to want to go to the vacation after that and stay with me. I told them, if they dont go i would feel responsible and ashamed for that and they need to go or i would not forgive myself for that. But the little sister is aelf centerd. Why should your sister cut her beutiful hair for you? How about you wont be jealos of your sister? Beat cancer and grow your hair back.

Op seems pretty ok for living with an "abusive" father for 12 years. That woman jumps families like hoops.

Nta. Also, the father wasn't abusive. He raised his son well. The mother is just full of it

Not the a-hole, no man/woman wants to hear that the person they want to be with is sleeping around with a bunch of other people. Yikes, the girl f*cked up big time, lmao. Not only that, but what OP told her is FACTS

If the dad was abusive that means that woman leaves the 5 years old OP for 12 years under the mercy of an abuser, if she couldn't live without OP then why she didn't try to get in touch with OP during those 12 years? It smells like that woman tried to have kids with the new husband but failed and remembered that OP exists

Soooo... she would leave her current family to prove she different and wants to stay

First

A lot of guys I think have a fantansy of dating a sex worker

Man this sounds like a guy wrote this crap. So made up bs.

Nta. It's your hair and your life. If you don't feel like doing it, don't.