Hi! It sounds like a terrible book, but it also doesn't sell very well. Right now we're focusing on books that have really high Amazon rankings, meaning that a lot of people are still getting suckered in. That doesn't mean that we don't agree the book is bad--but we're trying to focus on the big things first. But hopefully as we bring awareness to these issues (since they all seem to have very similar problems) people will be able to start identifying those problems in other books they see!

Your comment actually shows the problem. You seem to think that Christ only came to get us into heaven, like a "get out of hell free" card. But there's so much more to the gospel than that! Think about it: Jesus was declaring the gospel BEFORE he died. He told people "the kingdom of God is here" BEFORE he died. You have such a small view here! Jesus actually cares about us. He wants humanity to reflect the kingdom of God. That's what we pray for in the Lord's prayer--that His will be done ON EARTH as it is in heaven. If Jesus only came to get us into heaven, then this life has no meaning. But it does. And people matter to God. So do your part and be the hands and feet of Jesus, here and now! Because eternal life starts NOW, and we're part of the kingdom of God now.

I thought that was kind of awesome. Rebecca’s got some spirit that’s for sure!

hmm... that's a good question. !!!

100% and victims often rationalize and justify their abuser's control and abuse. Like you said, they view themselves as the problem. Coercive control is very personalized and tailored to the victim so it's going to be difficult for outsiders to really understand what's happening.

YES! I loved her TED talks and spent a whole evening following rabbit trails about her stuff a while ago.

“She who must not be named.”

There are some men I can be around and would sooner lick the bottom of my shoe than try any you know what . . . I get that it's different for when you're in a dating relationship with someone you're attracted to and not just friends, but couples need to decide for themselves what would be wise boundaries 😊

@@FireflowerDancer oh certainly I agree! I wasn’t implying that every man is a temptation just as I don’t believe every woman’s body is a temptation. But certainly if you are in love and attracted to each other and you are trying to save yourselves, hanging out together alone is risky, it was for me at least.

I get what you mean about the purity culture in you screaming. I have had so many talks with my mom about purity culture and the harm it inflicts and it took years to help her uproot the fear based teachings she was given that caused the purity culture scream. One thing to consider is that purity culture doesn’t prepare young girls especially in navigating relationships. Advice I received from purity culture advocates was to date for 3 months, get engaged, and rush to the alter in 9 months. Because that way there’s less time to “burn with lust.” This is very unrealistic for so many reasons but the biggest, most dangerous reason is that it allows so little time to get to know the person you are going to need to trust the most in the whole world. Especially if you follow the rules and are never alone with them it is impossible to actually get to know someone under those conditions. Abuse is so common and we should be arming against it by telling our young people what wholehearted, genuine consent looks like, what love-bombing is, what the abuse cycle looks like, what qualities should they be looking for in a romantic partner, what to do if they find themselves in a relationship with an abuser, not “don’t ever, ever have sex or God will be mad at you.” The fear tactics the church uses especially on young girls and the topic of sex is intense and it is hard to root out. But God does not give us a spirit of fear. Freedom from this fear is possible. So let purity culture scream out its death rattle as you heal from it.

@@brighidmcmullen9577 I agree. My first marriage was like that. We were together about 4 years but always chaperoned. We were virgins when we married or at least I was, as soon as we were married and living alone he became a monster. There’s no way to know someone if you are always chaperoned.

I'm sure Sheila can explain the egalitarian view of the word "head," and I totally agree with that view. A secular video, though, really helped me see the whole submission/headship in a healthier light than what conservative churches teach. First, everything must go back to a teaching of Christ, in my view, plus there is nothing about hierarchy and being the boss in the Ephesian verses. I watched this secular video and others to help heal my femininity since conservative Christianity teaches that it's subordinate, etc. This video explained that in general, femininity receives and supports, and in general, masculinity provides and that mentally healthy men in general like to do things to support their partner, in other words, their "leadership" is to provide and benefit, just like a husband's headship is to be like how Christ loves the church. So, under the umbrella of equality (submit to one another), wives receive and support while husbands lead by carrying out acts of service to benefit and support. Now, none of this should be used legalistically. This goes back to loving one another as Christ commands and touches on aspects of femininity and masculinity. Just my two cents.

We actually really really liked it and that's what Rebecca and Joanna use! Many people find it too rigid though.

It was originally written with special needs students in mind, so it may be more regimented than what many of us look for. I really liked Singapore math, but it only goes through 6th grade.

Which state?

I have a friend who is using the Charlotte Mason method and I found it fascinating.

We pretty much did the Charlotte Mason method!

For sure. And if someone tells us with confidence that they have all this wisdom from God, know the true blueprint to live biblically, plus the social proof of their entire congregation confirming this, it's going to be difficult think differently. If you dare mention that you see issues, it's going to cause blowback on you. We saw the way he treated people who dared to question him.

I don't know who she is? Are you asking me?

It truly is horrifying. I had the same reaction as you. This is a whole different category--and yet mainstream SBC churches like Lake Pointe have it on their recommended resources list.

@@SheilaWrayGregoire 😢