My mom told me that 2 years after my dad and her got married he pushed her to start swinging with his best friend and for 7 years i was handed off to my grandparents and abusive older brother. Was told that the reason why i was left alone on numerous occasions was because of them needing alone time. Wish i nevwr learned that.

It's bad enough when game companies have the nuts to bundle remakes of loved games with fresh crap, but then they'll release said remake as a standalone title 6 months to a year later for the SAME. GODDAMN. PRICE.

Why do people automatically go to meth when they think someone is on drugs

In Simpsons, the reason why Homer is able to keep his job is because the mortality rate at Mr. Burns Power Plant is super high. Mr. Burns sees so many of his employees die that he forgets who has radiation immunity or resistance and who can die, Homer is immune to radiation.

Did anyone notice that the music stopped responding at 17:16?

My mom called me stupid when I was in college for the first time and flunked. Awaiting the day I win the lotto to move out. Wish me luck

The concept of a HOA having this much authority is one of the many reasons the entire world makes fun of the US

Some years ago my late wife, our then 9 year old son, and I were in the UK. We got asked several times if we were Canadians. I can only figure that we had a North American accent but didn't act like typical Americans, So, by default, we must be Canadians. Sort of a backhand compliment, I think.

I had to explain to my parents that I was a furry. I am not one of those ones that wants to have *** with animals. I liked how friendly the community is. Most of my friends IRL are furries

Lol... Easiest - like physical easiest - would be defending a villain in a story, who's either in a seat of power, or who's government is- the ruling body by the end of the film, show, or game. For instance - in the video game - Freedom Fighters (2003) - you play as basically an American born plumber turned - you'd say Freedom Fighter, (IE the good guys in this game) but the ruling court of the USSR (the bad guys) would rule you're a terrorist - any of the crimes committed by General/Governor Tatarin or Colonel Bulba - would NEVER see the light of day anyways. As a soviet lawyer in this world you'd only have to tell the sham of a court that it was all slanderous terrorist propaganda, and that your clients did nothing wrong. literally. your job would probably be done FOR YOU by other government agents and all you'd have to do is look presentable and make your client, (Bulba, as Tatarin was assassinated, which just furthers the case in your favor really) - look sympathetic. And Bulba already pretended to be "Mr. Jones' an elderly neighbor that helped the resistance fighters/terrorists - so he's got that look down pretty well already. like.. it's open and shut case simply because of the nature of the world the story takes place in. and yes - by the end of the game, it is left up in the air whether or not the USSR is actually in control of New York at the time - but it's presumed that either nukes will be used against the people of New York or a second invasion will happen, basically - New York isn't free at the time and probably wouldn't remain so if it was. So any "court" trying any of the captured USSR personnel would be considered illegal, and potentially considered a war crime by the soviets if they took back control. Basically - if your boss is an authoritarian government, your court case is by default - easy. I really wish they'd made a sequel of that game... loved that game as a kid...

Sleep well, Berno

I cannot think any other country has these issues. Truly American.

16:55

3:17 this kid knows the internet is fake but believes global warming 😂 i bet he typed this wearing a mask 😂

1:20 remember FAST. Face: is it drooping and/or numb? Can they control both sides of their face? Arms: ask them to raise both arms. If they are having a stroke, one or both arms will not respond. Speech: is their speech slurred or incoherent? Can you understand them? Time: time is of the essence. Call 911 and get them to a hospital ASAP.

Not quite. Thought we going to lose one once. He stood up under an open truck cab door. I noticed him as he was staggering around half conscious. The other guys in the loading dock grabbed him just as he was going down. He copped a nasty head injury and we were all pretty quiet until the boss, who whizzed him off to hospital, rang and said he was going to be okay. It was a nasty couple of hours' wait for that call.

Do pets such as dogs count? I cursed him out once.

I told my kindergarten age daughter one day at dinner that brown cows give chocolate milk. And the reason its so hard to find banana milk is because there are so few yellow cows. The reason i explained... Cause , y'know? HAVE you ever seen a yellow cow? lil kid shakes head no in total agreement. And looks at me WOW thanks dad! Next day i get home from work to a VERY angry 5 year old. She mentioned what I said at school, and got totally laughed at and corrected. 🤣😂🥰🤣 Shes over 30 now and mentions this couple times a year with a very angry gleam in her eye. Usually around christmas when the hot cocoa/choco milk is around. I get that stink eye...🤣😘

13:39 real

If you are always better off when you are away from your family, and can't remember a good experience for over a month, it's a good sign (assuming not some horrible organic disease). I know a guy, who, after 18 years of his mother's passing, can't recall a single time he missed his mother. He misses his grandparents, misses his uncle, not her. Tells you all you need to know. His father was marginally better.

I think a case can be made for Venom, given it could be argued that he's not guilty because to my knowledge most crimes are moreso commited by venom, rather than Eddie Brock. Therefore, it could be argued that he is under control by a parasitic entity during his crimes.

Because I wasn't having a bad day.

8:01 Liberal lies.

19:44 my favorite

My middle school algebra teacher said she was on the short list to go up on the Space Shuttle Challenger in 1986 (the government had a program to put a schoolteacher on the Space Shuttle) but ultimately didn't go. We all know what happened to Challenger. :(

I owned an Audi S7 just out of warranty. I owned it for two years and drove it from 35000 miles to 50000. Dead reliable. As good as any Japanese car as I have ever owned. The consumables however were murderously expensive. Like $ 5775 for a full break job at the dealer kind of expensive. The independent I used was 60% less, but still… in the end I sold it because I couldn’t drive it under 100 every time I took it out. Hell of a car.

Everyone always believes these videos are real just because they came from Reddit well what makes Reddit so great & true half the video's are totally Fake.

A week before my 18th birthday, at night watching tiktok, sees an edit of this show called "heartstopper", curious me with nothing to do goes like "oh its on netflix. Ima watch it." Found myself smiling to the romantic scenes ( until that i always hated romantic scenes in movies ). Also found myself relating to both main characters. "Am i gay?" Later on, hanging out with a male friend realised i might have a crush on him. "Ohno. Am i gay? No i cant be. I dated a girl before. Why did i date her? She asked me and i couldnt just say no. I didnt really know what dating meant. But i do now. Would i date her now? NOPE! would i date my friend if i had a chance? Probably. Wait no- oh no. Im gay. Nah its prolly just random nonsensical thoughts. And anyways aint that more than just kissing guys? Wait am i ace? Yeah im ace. No way im gay tho, right? Yes way. Yes way indeed. Gay ace here.

Either so many of these "chance" meetings are fake, or Ted Bundy really got around. I've probably heard at least 10 Bundy near-misses in the past week or two.

Not me, but a friend. He works as a signalling technician for the largest railway operator in Germany. Some of his colleagues were doing some on-site preparation on the tracks for an upcoming maintenance. Usually in this case, they call the signaller and ask them to close the track so they can go on it safely. But they didn't want to bother so they just went on the tracks. Until the first train came. One sadly died, others were injured. If it had been my friend's shift, this could have been him.

Poopknife

Nah cuz in all my baby pictures i look like a tomato that got botox,and i always give an ugly look but as we say in Naples:o' scarrafun é bell a mammà soie i.e the cockroach is beautiful to his mom

Im sure this is gonna be a Trainwreck

Got into trouble for not being home on Saturday afternoon when my father called as I was supposed to tell him when I was going anywhere for him to decide whether I was allowed to and to stick to my midnight Curfew. If I argued about being an adult he would quote “my house, my rules”. Told him his rules no longer counted after I had married and moved out the week before. He had even called my In Laws because I hadn’t informed him where I was going, they thought it was so funny.

My mom knows at least the basic parts of using a computer, including how to send documents via email, so this one really baffled me. I sent her an email with an attached document and asked her to print it for me. When I arrive I find out she printed the actual email.

"Billionaire in a gimp suit" is my new favorite way of describing Batman

20:44 If I'm not mistaken, they're talking about Jenni Rivera

When he mentioned ginger beef, I thought he said JuJu-Bees.

at 12:55 something else happens to people who do not wear theri seatbelts in a car crash - they can smash into other people inside the car in addition to being ejected. BTW I of the age to have bought muscle cars off the showroom floor. I would go around to salvage yards / junk yards looking for upgrades - carburators, differentials, even engines and transmissions. This was when seat belts we new and only some people used them. I saw way too many twisted steeriung wheels, bent dashes, cracked windshields. I've always worn my seatbelt. The Volvo engineer Nils Bohlin invented the three point seatbelt in 1959. He did the world a service and did not pattent it but placed it in the public domain.

2:04:47 >Reply just says "Nice" >Reply has 69 Points *_Perfection._*

I love the "I Can" one. I total agree and live my life that way.

Worst AI voice ever. Stopped listening, don’t even care now.

Idk 😭😭😭 my childhood is mostly me wanting to try my sister's dresses and enjoying barbie movies... and also i always have feelings for guys

The Joker. It’s literally impossible to prove he did anything he has no fingerprints and his dna is untraceable he wears heavy make up and a suit (which his entire gang wears) making it impossible to say it was him and not some else dressed up the same. He is brought in by the unidentified vigilante who’s the only witness and won’t be sworn in to testify items used by the joker are rather destroyed in conflict with the vigilante or the vigilante takes them as souvenirs to put in his cave. Like there’s very little evidence to go against joker. Also is there a lawyer dumb enough to go up against him, last time a lawyer went up against any crime in that city he got half his face burned off and that was just the mob (and if that doesn’t work we also have the fact the joker and all of the criminals in Gotham aren’t in control of there actions it’s the bat demon that lives under the city that creates all of them to fight it’s other creation the Batman there’s no actual free will in Gotham)

Yeah I know of several, in fact I had messed around with two guys for years only to find out they were married to women so I ended it, but yeah it is way more common than the average person realizes

Waiting for the day we get a story where the parent is great, but is just a helicopter pilot.

The thumbnail is pretty dope

The fat people I can't stand are the fat acceptance movement blame their circumstances on everything except eating to much

One of my teachers bragged about how her elderly mother had a killer phone plan on her landline. Decades ago, she signed up to a party line plan. For the kids out there, a party line is when mutliple addresses share a single phone line. The idea is you should only pick up when the phone rings a certain way (ex: if your house is assigned one short ring and a long ring), but nothing stops you from picking up and listening in on the neighbor's conversation. Over the years, neighbors dropped off from the party line and got their own lines one by one until my teacher's mother was the last person remaining. This was circa 2010-ish, and her phone bills corresponded not only to a 1950s phone plan, but a CHEAP 1950s phone plan.

I once moved into a new place and didn't get a gas bill for the first few months in spite of having signed up with the company and everything. One day, I called them asking if we had an outstanding balance on our account. The guy said we were all set. I specified we haven't been charged for anything yet. Guy finds a mistake at their end, and charges us for everything since day 1. No good samaritan discount or anything : (