Couch Ryan... Thank you! You have no idea how much I needed to hear this, and how much you've helped me understand and navigate this harrowing process of lost and healing... You're an angel. Thabk you so much from the bottom of my heart.

Not all parts of the story were parts of my story, of course not, but what happened to me was reflected very accurately in what was said. It all seems so alien to me that I need it saying to me a thousand times or more

We are breaking the cycle! And she will be exposed ...

My ex kept all of his exes really close apart from me. Shut the door as hard as possible with full no contact. I wonder why the sudden switch up

Oops. Guilty. Thanks, I’m learning how to bring it up in therapy and work on it.

THANK YOU!!🙏 Your videos are so helpful. Thank you for your work.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️👍

7 months later and never heard back, I reached out a few times and last time it was on April, I have been on no contact since April and nothing…

Its me, im that ex that never went away until this last time. And funnily enough, I told him I couldnt do it anymore unless he got this one ex out of his life. Instead, he dumped me and gave me the silent treatment with no reason or closure, then i saw he got with his mothers 53 y/ofriend...a woman that has been in the background. Ill never take him back again (he did this with the ex he lives with and left my son & i homeless prior).

Slow fade is our way to not cut the person off. We’re distant and managing our anxiety and we’re trying to avoid jumping ship due to our overwhelming anxiety but eventually the anxiety becomes extreme.. and we need to run. And we usually do this with people that we’re getting emotionally closer to but that we don’t have future with. For instance: someone who’s already partnered etc

After my FA ex monkey branched to another, he wanted me to be a friend. He had planned for me to still be a part of his life. Earlier he had offered to take me anywhere I wanted to go. He still wanted to get together for outings and go places as "friends". Nope. I let him go without tears or drama. I think he thought I would always be in his life in some way, leading him to take me for granted. After four years together, it's NC forever for me. I am happier now. My year of hours a day of inner work are paying off. Never again!!

I met a woman recently, we spent 3 wonderful months together, never a cross word, it was very beautiful. Then one evening she shut down to me emotionally, out of the blue. I have some experience with these people, three days later I ended it. I'll not waste my time and energy on these people, I'll not give her a second chance, much as I adored her. They never take personal responsibility and are extremely destructive in relationships. Avoid the avoidants at all costs !!

Don't blame Us for not going away, whenever Avoudants, Borderlines and Narcissistic Women keep Us in their Social Circle.........

so what if her own therapist told her to take some space from the relationship?

Is it possible that an avoidant can tear their walls down and openly allow themselves to truly love their children, despite 'not loving' their mother or father, or any other potential partner?

My avoidant ex told me when I met her that she was “difficult”. I didn’t believe her, but she was right. I feel so sorry for her previous ex who stayed with her for years. I bailed out after 6 months. And yes, she was a nightmare.

Thank you....I wish I had known this sooner years ago... it hurt more being friendzoned when I still had feelings for him. Now he doesn't even want to be friends...

All communications with my ex DA were over WhatsApp on her iPhone, which she was obsessed with. She wouldn’t take calls and she would not answer questions about what she was doing. In the end I had to end our relationship by WhatsApp.

Apparently I was too needy so they discarded me. When I expressed what I needed - told I was thinking too much and being negative and my feelings were dismissed. Going NC now for my mental health. Doing therapy to heal myself. Let them find an avoidant to be with. So both have their needs of space met. Avoidants even stuff up those that are securely attached and ruin that persons sense of self.

They came back and then discarded me again. I had the image of their lovebombing version of themselves as what they were but it was all an illusion. So the real version is the one that discarded me. I have to remember that. Discard version is cruel and selfish so I have to keep remembering that. The second time they came back they said they changed that they were less guarded. Don’t think so, they were worse than before. So I think they do know how they are but they choose not to change for anyone. I don’t want to be discarded over and over again. They don’t love me. I wouldn’t have blindsided them how they did like me. I deserve better than what they did to me.

he never offered me the friendzone... is that a bad sign ? I treated him very well😢

You obviously know nothing about avoidants. A key hallmark of avoidant attachment is self reliance and independence… Im not a professional but common sense tells me that it would be hard to have those things without being able to validate yourself. Painting a narrative that avoidant people are narcissists is false and misleading. They deserve fair treatment and this narrative is dangerous

After 16 years of friendship and 4 years of on again, off again….he just walked out on me for the last time about an hour ago. I blocked him for the first time ever. I can’t do this to myself anymore, I deserve better.😢 Thanks for this video, I’m sure I will watch again 😅

She offered me to be friends route. I told her ok, she was shocked and said “what I meant to say, let’s take a step back not be in a friendship zone” 😂😂

This applies to rejection but not situations where both people agree to part ways and remain friends without malice.

Thanks!

Every road is a road designed by God for us - I often pray to God now, so that I don’t feel heartbroken and want to cry when I see things or pictures about him - I want to make a meeting The person who lets go and is at peace, no longer has his heart stung, forgives completely or even forgets him, and leaves the rest to God...Because Father knows all my grievances...

What do you do when the Avoident has continually withdrawn and came back and then I eventually just left. So the final 'discard' in a sense was mine. They then asked to be friends....i said no until they get help and face up. Anything to add?

🎯💪🏾

Actually I told a guy that I am distancing myself until he dealt with his problems and grow up Play time is over Emotionally stunted Smh😅

So you’re saying all this,but not telling me how to fix it .

grief cripples me debilitates me paralyzes me I want to die grief rapes me my soul is tortured I am breathless in my pain I am bereaved in despair hopeless helpless anguished and tormented and begging and waiting just to die all I do is suffer I'm in hell with no escape

Just knocked my 30 year love affair off the pedestal stool. 😊 Feels great! It wasn't until watching Coach Ryan, I managed to feel those AHA moments 😮 It's taken over 2 years and a lot of self growth and self talk to get here. Still...one foot in front if the other. ❤ Australia 🇦🇺

How can you honestly go back?

Damn that hit home!!! Thank you for sharing!!!

Break up via text and initiate blocked out of the blue. No words can discribe what this does to somebody that lives you and has been in a long term comited relationship with an avoidant.

I have a question: what happens when 2 avoidant personalities become involved romantically? It must be denial constantly I would think? Can anyone offer insight? Or does the other partner become avoidant type because of the discard?

They do that you leave.

Getting dumped by an avoident showed me that I have been avoident in the past, but never had a fear of being close. I would have never thought I be greatfull for the excruciating pain, but I am ready to change and become more secure.

The phantom ex that was real and they idolize. The fake celebrity that they idolize. Playbook DA. They will tell you about both and make you feel unworthy.

Yep, he's trying to manipulate me into the friend zone with him. Got shut down. Tried friends with benefits and got shot down. See no benefits of him being in my life. We are neighbors in a rural community. Knowing what I know about him I handle him accordingly. Only if it benefits me somehow will I give him the time of day when he reaches out. 😊

♥️🙏🏽💯

i think you’re projecting too hard on avoidants. it’s literally just an attachment style. you’re describing a bad person with a bad character - and it sounds more personal to you and many of your wounded audience rather than objectively true of the avoidant attachment style. you will never heal if you over generalize like this.

Thank you !!🙏

Thank you coach Ryan 🫶🏻

Thanks!

Yep, just want to see her. Once in 7 weeks wasn’t enough for me. Eggshell walking is exactly what it was!

This is rubbish. Reality seems to be whatever your audience wants it to be.

She offered me such friendship. Thanks, but no, thanks. Keep your breadcrumbs for somebody else .

The DA friend that I have just no contacted had a melt down when I asked her what time she would like dinner, I was cooking. That was was controlling and too much pressure in her world. And so it went on with many up and downs, until I asked her if she missed me while I was away. She wouldn’t give me a straight answer, so it’s no contact from now on. I suspect that she will try to contact me when she needs something.

I immediately went no contact the second time this happened to me. The first time I didn’t understand what was going on