I just got out of a living situation that was built on the idea that I was willing to cook and clean for him. When we first got together, I saw some warning signs that he might not have been as nice or as considerate as he was trying to make himself out to be, but the general air of generosity about him, mixed with his confidence and perceived intelligence made me willing to overlook them. Terrible mistake. Never not trusting my gut ever again. By the time we moved in together, he did a complete 180 in terms of how he was treating me. If we were out in public with his friends, he would lay the flattery on pretty thick. And sometimes there were moments when he was kind to me. But out of nine months spent living together, most of it was spent with our shared apartment looking a mess because I was working a very physical job despite having been recently diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. (If you’re not familiar, it’s a genetic mutation that affects the way your body produces collagen. This leads to chronic pain, joints that easily dislocate, skin that bruises easily, delayed wound healing, and a compromised immune system. There are a lot of comorbid diagnoses that can come with hEDS.) He expected me to cook and clean after both of us, constantly got upset with me for the state of the apartment, and frequently made me feel like shit for being physically and mentally disabled. All while having the nerve to ask what the next meal was going to be. Videos like this- videos talking about weaponized incompetence- made me realize that I was letting him play me like a fiddle. When I started to put up more of a fight and actually ask for things (he cooked for me TWICE in nine months and I had to explicitly ask him and tell him that it was because I was in too much pain to be on my feet any longer) that’s when he started to get verbally abusive towards me, degrading me, etc. I had to get a protection order against him, but I’m safe now. And I will never let another man take advantage of my kindness like that again.
@mrbubbies_9 сағат бұрын
An hour long vid on this I’m hype and I don’t even watch this show 😭
@TricksterModeEngaged11 сағат бұрын
Just remember: even the dumbest guys i did basic training with could do at least all the following tasks well enough to pass inspection without needing a wife/girlfriend to help them - wash and fold their uniform - clean and polish their boots - sweep and mop the floor - dust - organize personal items neatly - scrub a toilet - make their bed - pick up after themselves Unless someone has a disability that actually does specifically get in the way, odds are he CAN learn to do basic household tasks and CAN do it himself. (I mean i do actually have some disabilities and they can be a pain, but also I still do what needs doing and my husband knows he can't really get away with not helping me if i say I need help because his mom would get mad at him because she loves me lol)
@MeGustaWHAT13 сағат бұрын
My now ex-partner's mother pulled me aside early in our relationship and told me that "He's a special guy who needs special care." We've had problems with his narcissism, withdrawn emotions and weaponized incompetence for the last 8 years. Finally saying goodbye to it today. Trust your gut, ladies - don't convince yourself that they'll blossom and change their ways with the help of your influence.
@MeGustaWHAT13 сағат бұрын
He's moving back in with his mother.
@candicelittlewolf99846 сағат бұрын
I know you don’t know me, but I just wanted to say that I am so proud of you for leaving. What you are doing is not easy. I just left a similar situation myself, and to anyone who might be in the same spot: seriously, do not think you can change them. You can’t. I tried. I am someone who has been through extensive amounts of therapy for abuse that I faced at the hands of the woman who adopted me as a child, and I thought that would give me a leg up if I were to ever find myself in an abusive relationship as an adult. But when I actually got into one, I found leaving to be so hard. Even though he was hurting me, I still cared about him. I thought with love and a bit of firm guidance that he would change. But I was wrong. Back in June, I had to get a protection order against him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I can’t help but to kick myself for ignoring what my brain was telling me at the start of our relationship. If I had, all of this could’ve been avoided.
@dragon926115 сағат бұрын
Hiii!!!! Im so excited for this video!!!
@someundeadtalent201619 сағат бұрын
Examples of that in my life: The ex-best friend of my fiancé is a pretty loaded dude who was with a woman who did all the cooking and chores by herself for the longest time. When she finally had enough and broke up, he literally knew NOTHING. He put pasta into the pot without any water, didn’t know how to use a dishwasher or washing machine, didn’t know how to pay bills etc. My fiancé and his friends helped him for half a year to know how TO SURVIVE as an adult, and one friend even moved in with him for a period of time. But guess what - same rich dude didn’t compensate them in the slightest, and actually even stole from them (expensive yu gi oh cards) A colleague of mine regularly acts super helpless to not have to do hard and difficult jobs, he’s extremely lazy and stays on the toilet a TON. He often acts like he can’t do his job better and he gets through with that cause he’s been with the company for 30 years atp…
@SIMMIS_0316Күн бұрын
As an oldest sibling the definition of weaponized incompetence is the youngest sibling
@ellapastoralКүн бұрын
Bro, as a fellow oldest sibling, I have literally heard parents who expect their youngest daughter to cook and clean and take care of their oldest sibling. It’s a mess.
@galaxygato9642Күн бұрын
🩷👍
@Iphideen2 күн бұрын
My ex gf deployed weapinized incompentence against me and that along with her abuse led me to decide never to get into a romantic relationship again. I remember asking her once to list some of the things she loved about me and she only listed services I did for her. I knew then it was over. Best decision of my life. Put labor into yourself. ❤
@oishikaray27672 күн бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@lizziescott2 күн бұрын
Anyone who thinks weaponized incompetence is just an internet thing ether has never been abused in that way, or is so brainwashed that they dont realize its abuse to begin with. My older brother used to beg me to make him sandwiches because according to him, I could spread the mayo better. That was I was like 12. Stuff like this starts so young, its so easy for people to not realize how fucked up it actually is. Now I live in a household where despite being the youngest person here- I am the one doing a majority of the cooking and cleaning every single day because the other people refuse to lift a finger a majority of the time. Weapomized incompetence is abuse. Not some internet thing. Its abuse.
@sundaylovesyoutoo74692 күн бұрын
Rats doing the nay nay is crazy 😂
@ellapastoral2 күн бұрын
Man I’m telling you you 😭
@bakugo97612 күн бұрын
I LOOOOVE this video. I also find you soooo pretty and I REALLY wanna try the makeup you had.
@s.s.66612 күн бұрын
I had to live with a married couple where one was definitely lazy and weaponizing incompetence. His partner enabled it so hard too, which made a really shitty living situation for all of us. This was a nicely cathartic watch.
@sophiarivera73642 күн бұрын
Your story about your med surg class was bar-for-bar my experience in Orgo-I in undergrad. Bombed the first exam (avrg was a 50 I got a 30) went to office hours and this Jeff Bezos looking ass tells me “it’s a waste of my time and yours for me to just give you the answers”. Anyway, yeah. Thank you for speaking on this.
@sophiarivera73642 күн бұрын
54:04 “the US has fewer acute care beds per capita compared to other, similar countries” … and yet we have the largest military budget in the world by a landslide.
@sophiarivera73642 күн бұрын
This is the second video of yours that I’ve watched and you have a new subscriber in me! Everything here HAD TO BE SAID! I’m a vet tech and even I related to so much that you’ve mentioned about the culture of the medical field. Idk how y’all do it in human care. Peace and love
@AlexandraS-m7c3 күн бұрын
I am a cna and was thinking about becoming a nurse, but I am so burned out and can’t stomach direct care anymore. I’m so damn tired. I am always very kind to patients and coworkers but my heart just isn’t in it, so I’m in the process of a career change. This job is ridiculous. I could go work at Walmart and make more money and have a lot less work to do. CNA’s and nurses deserve better pay and staffing ratios.
@PsionicCavalier3 күн бұрын
The fact my mother became a pick me fucking hurts every day
@nicolovespanda3 күн бұрын
I didn't know anything about the movie before I watched it so I didn't have any expectations. The movie is fun but aside from the few relevant message it delivered, the movie is mostly just vibes. Nothing makes sense like why at the end was the giant demon suddenly acting paternal after treating his sons as slaves the entire movie, and why did manburg return the demon spawn to him? 😭
@addygrubb90213 күн бұрын
This is so chaotic, I am definitely here for it! As an Inumaki stan, I think snow white and inumaki sounds so cute, I love when people can understand my bb! 😍😭🙌
@undercookedtoast14793 күн бұрын
Gatekeeping in fandom is so stupid 9 times out of 10, and its straight up insane in anime and comic circles. femininity has ALWAYS been degraded in nerd culture and circles, like if you dont constantly pull the “not like other girls” shtik you are invalidated and seen as doing it for clout Same in gaming circles. Like i fucking love megan bc she proves everyday that you dont have to compromise your own interests and style to appeal to anyone. She IS A WEEB AND A BADDIE!!!!
@bu40504 күн бұрын
@23:35 THIS PART!!!! its very infuriating to see ur own mother or aunt feed into these ideas that women and girls should be the one taking care of house chores while their own son(s), a fully grown adult that's over the age of 20 have never done a single house chore in their life or give up asking them to do it when they purposely do the chore bad. its sad that me as a 16 yr old daughter have done more house chores since i was 13 than my fully grown brothers that are 21 and 23, have done in their entire lives. it sucks to see that these men have these women in a chokehold and are blinded by their 'love'.
@bu40504 күн бұрын
or they complain how all the house chores are left to them to do like babe, go ask your husband or your son for help not shout at ur own daughter for not doing the laundry, etc. youre the one resulting in ur own stress
@wyyntrr4 күн бұрын
If these men can cheat they can clean period
@mariecampos64344 күн бұрын
i just found out your video! aside from the great video u did, i love your makeup amd hair!!!!
@ashton54934 күн бұрын
My dad was that kind of guy, he sees it as a “women’s job” to do the cleaning, raising children, cooking, and shopping. Because to him the only job he should have is going to work and then sitting on his ass in front of his computer all day. And me and my sister also had to help out and my younger brother was able to do whatever and be lazy. And when my sister moved in with her last Ex boyfriend he was just the same if not worse because not only did my sister had to do what my mom used to do but her ex boyfriend/ baby daddy wouldn’t even do things like get a shower started and pick out his own clothes. He also didn’t care if he ate my sisters food or even his own sons food without asking , and he also had a son with a previous girlfriend of his and he doesn’t even want to take care of him either. My sister took care of his other son even though her boyfriends other son wasn’t hers, and he can’t even watch after the kids without them getting diaper rash and ignored and locked in the bedroom as he played video games and gets angry and punches the furniture and breaks things that my sister spent her hard earned money on, and worst of all he got so mad one time that he killed my sisters kittens. Lucky she left his ass and is currently with someone better and the kids aren’t aloud to visit their biological dad do to his neglect and anger. Me on the other hand have a son of my own and I’m raising him to not be incompetent and spoiled. I’ve seen so many men like that in my life I am not gonna have my son act that way and so far he’s a good kid and I hope it stays that way.
@marionettilapsi14 күн бұрын
I have always appreciated nurses (Finland) and they have generally treated me well - while doctors have been absolute ableist horror shows. Though I have never met a school nurse who isn't a monster.... Anyhow, I appreciate you, and all good nurses out there.
@marionettilapsi14 күн бұрын
I just want to say thanks for the words "And is still happening".
@amorphousblob17624 күн бұрын
had to comment to say that ur makeup is on point 🔛👌
@anastasiarai43664 күн бұрын
Ironically, I was watching this while putting my man’s laundry away. But it just made me happier to do so, because my man ACTUALLY CONTRIBUTES. He cooks dinner every night for us and handles the grocery shopping. He does the dishes and takes care of himself LIKE AN ADULT SHOULD. I was able to quit my job and make way for one where I’m actually being appreciated because he held down the fort financially. He’s always happy to take care of me and our household, which makes me happy to do so as well. THIS SHOULD BE THE STANDARD. I’ve been in a relationship that was not equitable and I don’t wish that hell on ANY WOMAN.
@WhatsUpWithSheila5 күн бұрын
When I was married..I *HONESTLY* thought the cooking & cleaning was *MY JOB* ...until I opened a business...Then it became a problem... I didn't find out until *AFTER* the divorce.. That man could actually cook really well and clean... My bad...never EVER happened again.
@chantznottherapper39205 күн бұрын
Just learned that I shouldn’t put a iron skillet in the dishwasher🧍🏻♂️
@liminaljay33115 күн бұрын
I really hope you, your friend and the girl from the TikTok video can get out of your abusive situations 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 My sister recently started going to church and I am almost positive it’s to cover up how she treats her kids. It’s so wrong.
@liminaljay33115 күн бұрын
Dang your videos are so good
@paolasoto92616 күн бұрын
My father is just like this and my mother always finds an excuse for him
@liminaljay33116 күн бұрын
Loved your analysis, I felt like you were bang on with this. It has me thinking about stan culture and how lonely people are at this point in history. It makes it so hard to disengage, even when the evidence is right in front of us.
@randomness1406 күн бұрын
I definitely would love to see them canon in the future or just Namor fawning over her and regretting his decisions. Angela Bassett was actually against her character dying but Ryan let her know that nobody is actually really dead in the MCU so she could make some appearances in the future 👀 alive or just ancestral plane. I wouldn’t want a multi verse situation with that. Oh and WE have to talk about Attoye (Attuma & Okoye) they are my favorite deadass. And I really believe that this pairing as a higher chance at becoming canon due to the general audience liking them as well😩 And in the “ART OF WAKANDA” book it hinted at them and in the script Great video btw! ♥️
@ellapastoral6 күн бұрын
I would love to see more attoye content shoot I would love to see more wakanda forever content in general 🥴 I’m glad that they haven’t forgotten about this franchise
@koffiecake6 күн бұрын
I agree pickmeism is bad but at 3:05 it kind of sounds like you're hating on religion
@ellapastoral6 күн бұрын
The two characters I talk about use religion to hurt the women around them and if you look at the women who are actively fighting against women’s rights in America, they are fundamentalist Christians and this is coming from someone who is a Christian
@koffiecake6 күн бұрын
@ellapastoral okay I understand what you mean I think all religion is good until you force anything on others
@ellapastoral6 күн бұрын
@@koffiecake !!!!!
@solleo77816 күн бұрын
This reminds me of a family friend asking my mother to cook and bring food to her husband while she was out of town. Like a grown ass man can't cook or go buy food himself? You have to ask another woman to bring food to him who already has to cook for her family?
@Tirrrb6 күн бұрын
I love your videos omg
@ellapastoral6 күн бұрын
😭 I love your vidoes too 😭🥴🥴
@CorrieMcKain6 күн бұрын
Nursing homes for the elderly are nightmares. Nothing was done and now hospitals are becoming nightmares.
@ellapastoral5 күн бұрын
In my personal opinion, I’ve never worked in a nursing home, but from what I heard, nothing can compare even when I complain about the hospital
@CorrieMcKain6 күн бұрын
Depending on how sick the patient is, mental health is effected. The nurses need to have really healthy psychological skills.
@ellapastoral5 күн бұрын
Yeah, but the resources and the current state of Nursing and even the economy don’t make that easy
@CorrieMcKain6 күн бұрын
I was a very beautiful young nurse. I was hated for it. One look from other females and I was bitched about. I think if the nurses are beautiful this is actually therapeutic for the patients. It’s all about the patients! Isn’t it? Team work for the patients.
@ellapastoral5 күн бұрын
Hating another nurse for being pretty in this day and age is actually evil work like we actually have bigger issues going on
@CorrieMcKain6 күн бұрын
This mean girl culture needs to be dealt with. I recommend another unit added to the nursing diploma or nursing degree curriculum. We need to talk about it. This needs to change.
@CorrieMcKain7 күн бұрын
This mean girl culture was too much for me to handle. I left 10 years ago because the mean culture also came from admin. On top of working really hard. It was an emotional and physical burn out. The patients were God sent. And I loved caring for them. It was the other female, some younger, most older. Just nasty.
@ellapastoral5 күн бұрын
That’s why I left my old job as a tech. I was getting bullied by everyone and it literally dimmed my light. My new job has more patience and worse ratios but at least I’m not bullied every time I go to work.
@icantthinkofagoodname18387 күн бұрын
I think the coversation about leaving needs to be more nuanced than "if she doesnt leave shes a bad mother and enabling". Yes some are, but my partner is trash and I would love nothing more than to take my kids and leave. But we are in a cost of living and housing crisis so with my much lower wage, there is every chance I would end up homeless and he would have the kids full time. At least if im with them I can take the brunt and stop it from landing on them. Im studying to try and get a better salary but im never gonna earn what he does and landlords and real estates discriminate against single parents. I call him on his bs but it changes nothing. There is no easy solution.
@Alex-xc5ju7 күн бұрын
Literally didn't need on-screen gay Bashing. That was so awful