Keith Lowell Jensen

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@leshtricity 23 сағат бұрын

sorry you just can't be a true believer in NPC progressive orthodoxy and also a comedian. it's so desperately unfunny.

@keithlowell 15 сағат бұрын

Hey man, as long as I keep getting paid and getting to travel for being unfunny, I'm totally good with it. Go me! How you doin'?

@danahaney9350 Күн бұрын

Your whiny voice is annoying.

@GrimFawkner 2 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing your KZfaq on that fb post 🙂 enjoying your sense of humour all the way from rural Australia!

@keithlowell 15 сағат бұрын

Thanks! Glad to have ya here.

@kevdmiller 2 күн бұрын

The Archies! LMAO! That melody could TOTALLY be an Archies song! (And I'd still like "Sugar Sugar" more lol)

@keithlowell 2 күн бұрын

@@kevdmiller I love The Archies

@chalk6666 3 күн бұрын

does this guy use rent a crowd

@keithlowell 2 күн бұрын

No. They actually pay ME to be there. Look, you can hate my comedy, but you gotta admire that I've conned so many people into believe its good! This is Emperor's New Clothes level shit right here!

@leshtricity 23 сағат бұрын

it's a very tiny audience and he's preaching to the choir. nothing but empty platitudes and "LOL THE BIBLE ANIRITE???" schtick that has been a progressive "comedian" staple for going on decades.

@TomMSTie1138 11 күн бұрын

9 albums and 2 books? I need to update my collection.😁

@keithlowell 11 күн бұрын

@@TomMSTie1138 well the last 4 albums don't exist as physical media. When I switched record labels and signed with 800 Pound Gorilla Media, they don't do physical media in most cases.

@TomMSTie1138 14 күн бұрын

It would be even funnier if the tattoo dude was wearing mixed fabrics and eating shellfish at the same time.

@greenthumb_mom_ca3855 22 күн бұрын

I did once watch an interviewer talk to a horse and bull sperm collector and yeah, my lot in life is pretty great, but I must say, they are very into it all. They full on have techniques and it really hovers around what I consider bestaility. Oogy.

@yoozkay 23 күн бұрын

😂 love the timing you have. Pauses give the jokes more weight.

@keithlowell 23 күн бұрын

That's a great... compliment. Thank you

@LordSlag 23 күн бұрын

I love the idea that you're still out there, doing well, being funny. How's your daughter?

@keithlowell 23 күн бұрын

Put your seatbelt on... She's 14. She's incredible. Makes music and art and me crazy.

@LordSlag 23 күн бұрын

@@keithlowell Amazing! I'm so happy for you, bro! And yes, insanity is hereditary, you get it from your CHILDREN! :D Rock on!

@tylercarrell 26 күн бұрын

I’ve been stopped by the police more than most in the 12 years I’ve had my license, my conservative estimate would be 90-100 times. I can almost always talk my way out of just about any ticket, out of the 90-100+ tomes I’ve been stopped. i only received 9 tickets (all of which were later dismissed in court)… that being said, every time a motorcycle cop has stopped me they’ve given me a ticket. I got stopped once on my motorcycle immediately after pulling out of a parking lot because “ i accelerated to quickly” since i only made it 50 yards from the parking lot i wasn’t speeding.. but he still came up with a BS ticket to give me cause he was pissed.. it was for riding with my helmet visor open.

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

Wow!

@zaqzilla1 26 күн бұрын

You're phone is covered under the 4th Amendment. You have no responsibility to give it to the police. I love cops. I hate stupid cops.

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

I can't say I love cops. The job description unfortunately appeals the worst elements in the worst kind of people and unfortunately the good ones tend to get pushed out or burnt out.

@levelhead1153 27 күн бұрын

In 1987 or so in Tucson i actually got pulled over by a cop who was in a car and I was on a bike. I was laughing. He said, "something funny?" I said, "not any more". He gave me a ticket. I went to pay it. The person working there looked at the ticket and said, "are you serious?" I said yup. Paid the ticket 28 bucks. Taxpayer dollars at work.

@samstevens7172 27 күн бұрын

Golly. Act like a jackass and then get treated like one. Shocking.

@keithlowell 27 күн бұрын

Yeah, that's why it's funny. Comedy where I just talked about being cool, and everyone treating me like I was cool would be boring as fuck. Did you say Golly? That's rad. Thanks for that. Sincerely, Keith Lowell Jackass

@samstevens7172 27 күн бұрын

@@keithlowell I’ll give you a few more. “Cockamamie” as in your description of the synchronized movement of the bike cops. “Willy Nilly, To and Fro” Self explanatory, but I hate to see these old phrases disappear. Civility in comments is a dying art.

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

@@samstevens7172 I like that the cops dismounting from their bikes in a uniform fashion stretches the believability for you. I find that hilarious. Please keep commenting, you're entertaining me and its great for the algorithm.

@adiinbar993 25 күн бұрын

@@samstevens7172 But only the first one is eyebrow-raising. "Willy-nilly", and "to and fro" are all still part of the day-to-day language, and "cockamamie" is in somewhat common use. "Golly" makes me feel like I'm watching a rerun of "Leave It to Beaver".

@edward_j_leblanc 28 күн бұрын

This story has nice flavors of Alice‘s Restaurant.

@keithlowell 28 күн бұрын

Arlo Guthrie, and Alice's Restaurant in particular is a huge influence on my story telling, and I am always flattered by that comparison. Thank you.

@NeoRocket001 28 күн бұрын

20 years ago I too got pulled over in my town of 40k pop by a bicycle cop on one of the rare occasions I was on a bicycle. Me and my wife. And my wife likes my sense of humor and knows I can be a smarttass and I see her look of "don't do it" as soon as the cop swaggers up and asks... "Doya know why I pulled you over?" -pregnant pause- "Ummm because I messed up? Left a hand hangin out?" Cop, screws his face up, "What are you talking about?" "You know... The body in the trunk... Of my bike." Longggg deadpan look on the part of the cop. Long story short he was just touching bases with people on bikes and pedestrians informing the town had added bicycle cops and we could expect to see them around town. The trial run didn't last long and was discontinued as soon as summer started and never was restarted. Turns out while bicycle cop programs are cool in Long Beach and on the California coast and NYC and so... It may not be the best idea for a Southern Aridzona town with temps hitting 110f sometimes in early MAY! lol

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

Ha!

@mattmaxon7783 Ай бұрын

I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop that was directed to me while riding my bicycle on the sidewalk. I refused to give my ID and after running my and figured out who I was, I noticed his name tag "F.P. Judge" and I asked what does the "F.P" stand for fucking prick ? He pulled out his nightstick "GET BACK!" in the end I got a ticket and had to appear in court

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

Damn! Sorry you had the experience.

@Nomadcreations Ай бұрын

Great Humorous Story! But Sad Thats how Reality Is Now days

@Nomadcreations Ай бұрын

Meaning a Lot Of Cops Techniques....

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

@killyacrittercreepybug4273 Ай бұрын

If your story really happened like that a lawsuit won false imprisonment no real crime was committed in your story

@Nomadcreations Ай бұрын

Yes, If Suing the Govt Would Be Success-full, bcz even if the govt looses, the govt wins bigger next round....

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

The system doesn't often favor those with little resources, unfortunately. I decided not to pursue it.

@terrancekayton007 Ай бұрын

I like the way this guy delivers. It’s like hanging out, talking to a friend, tell a story.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Thanks, that's a really good compliment.

@aspasiatull1336 Ай бұрын

Great Story 🎉

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

THANKS. Glad you enjoyed it.

@StoneE4 Ай бұрын

Hindsight is 20/20 but I'm pretty sure I would have put the marshmallows in a box of donuts. 😁

@gusleama Ай бұрын

I am not making this up: This morning, when I was waiting for my coffee to finish brewing, the story about stealing donuts popped into my head. Now that's a strange coincidence.

@DailySource Ай бұрын

This video deserves more views than it’s gotten. Please like it and leave a comment because both of those things will cause KZfaq to show it to more people. I’ve never heard of this comic, but he deserves more views.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Thanks!

@PeeCharles-cl1wk Ай бұрын

It’s gotten just the right amount of views for how funny it was ratio

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

@@PeeCharles-cl1wk I like to imagine you made this comment after it got so many more views. Thanks.

@ULTRXBLXCK Ай бұрын

This is a beautiful story.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Thanks. Glad you liked it!

@TomMSTie1138 Ай бұрын

In Pittsburgh, it's called a STEELERS Dozen.😁

@icee2943 Ай бұрын

very under rated. definitely deserves more attention.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

THANKS!

@MarthaRoseMoore415 Ай бұрын

Love this guy!

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Thank you!

@gordonlove5121 Ай бұрын

Hard to feel bad for anyone blocking traffic.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Well, that's fine. Nobody's asking you to feel bad.

@paulbrocker974 Ай бұрын

Its funny cos its true. (Sorry about getting beaten by the cops)

@user-uv9jl4cg3s Ай бұрын

You are a comedic god.

@MrDsturman Ай бұрын

the fact that he can’t remember what he was protesting shows how they just want a group to belong to and don’t give a shit about any cause

@wrenboy2726 Ай бұрын

💯

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

I remember fine, it was the first Persian Gulf War, enacted by George Bush Sr. I was making a joke about how often American is engaged in ridiculous wars, but you chose to see it through the filter of your own bias. I can do that too. Watch... That you assume other people don't have sincere feelings just speaks to how shallow and callous your own world views and actions are. That's fun, right?

@paulbrocker974 Ай бұрын

@@keithlowell your talking to people who think Gutfeld or Fallon are funny.

@rcyoung1165 Ай бұрын

This is an extremely unintelligent comment

@Billy_Carter Ай бұрын

Or, it's the fact that we've had so many wars that are unjust.

@ofpfury Ай бұрын

1st I've seen you in long time. Thanks for sharing :)

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Yeah, there's more of me on other people's channels. Gonna try to be better about keeping my own updated

@LordSlag Ай бұрын

HEY!! Look at you!! So glad to see you again and doing well.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Hey hey!

@jayandreas1131 Ай бұрын

1st amendment. Smith v Cumming. 4th amendment violation.

@jayandreas1131 Ай бұрын

Btw I’m not even American and I know this 😁

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

So I contacted a lawyer here in Sacramento about suing the cops. This is a guy who has sued the local police several times successfully, and also a guy who used to produce the most awesome punk rock shows. He said, we might win. Do you want to keep living in Sacramento? I said, Yeah. He said, "Well, I'll take the case if you want, but know this. They will make it very uncomfortable for you to live here, and I don't think we'd get enough money to make this one worth that. It's up to you." And I had already been jailed, and threatened, and I have had my head stepped on and been choked by cops in the past, and I just wasn't up to the fight. I had bills to try and pay, and relationships I was trying to maintain. I just didn't have the emotional or other resources to fight them and unfortunately, they can count on that a lot of the time.

@DailySource Ай бұрын

@@keithlowell It is so sad that those are the people who are being paid to protect you, but they are doing the opposite.

@jayandreas1131 Ай бұрын

@@keithlowell must be the greatest country in the world 🤣

@VoltairesRevenge Ай бұрын

@@jayandreas1131Great enough to make half the people in your country put their lives on the line to get here 😒

@IsaacTreat Ай бұрын

ACAB man. Always and forever.

@ImaginaryMdA Ай бұрын

It's not illegal to take photos of police, btw. One of these days cops should realize this.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Most of them seem pretty sure the laws don't apply to them.

@samstevens7172 27 күн бұрын

Apparently these police realized it in the same story. When an actual photographer was taking pictures of them that they “posed” for. Pay attention. Or ignore the inconsistency, in this case.

@guard13007 26 күн бұрын

@@keithlowell Courts actually decided that laws don't apply to them, and somehow that's one of the least fucked up things about cops.

@keithlowell 25 күн бұрын

@@samstevens7172 So, you have a hard time believing people behave inconsistently sometimes, or just cops?

@adiinbar993 25 күн бұрын

@@keithlowell No...I don't get the impression that he has a hard time believing people behave inconsistently. It's more that you have a hard time picking up on blatant sarcasm.

@VerilyDarkR0de Ай бұрын

Oops..

@MusicandMonsters Ай бұрын

Hilarious!

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Thank you!

@sarahthompson9756 Ай бұрын

Keith! I am so sorry they treated you this way though. Not ok. Also, way to get a free headshot!

@julesw70 Ай бұрын

Keith is one of the best storytellers around. Always love watching him work.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Thanks!

@sarahthompson9756 Ай бұрын

This is so funny, Keith! Office Mustache and Officer Sunglasses. lol.

@keithlowell Ай бұрын

Thank you

@cisium1184 2 ай бұрын

James Hetfield from Metallica.

@fegolem 3 ай бұрын

Good to see you. It's been a while.

@DeconvertedMan 5 ай бұрын

hehehe :D the only airport related joke I know of is that if you have a friend named Jack, its a REALLY bad idea to yell out to him "hi". "HI JACK!"

@alaskanadventures1164 5 ай бұрын

I thought the same thing! I heard "beth" and i swear it sounded like they were about to cry. Thank god for ac dc 8tracks!

@toughenupfluffy7294 8 ай бұрын

This isn't something I would do, but I know a guy who saw them coming, Bibles in hand, so he grabbed a shotgun and opened the door, saying, "What the fuck do YOU want?" Needless to say, there's a big red X on the map back in the church basement.

@unstopitable 9 ай бұрын

LOL!

@chiefrecords_ 10 ай бұрын

This is sooo damn funny! “I would like to be a kitty” 😂😂😂😂

@keithlowell 10 ай бұрын

Thanks!

@chiefrecords_ 10 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏

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