I think most people commiting the affair are blinded, stubborn in there own mind of what is real. They are too caught up in the excitement and endorphins hormonally that this will last forever especially early on. But how can this last when there is kids involved with your long term partner? When will they ever see the regret in not going back and working together with him to save a family from being distroyed?
@GlennWard-m4p19 сағат бұрын
My partner took off overseas and is with a man, yet she won't admit to the affair even though she was caught. I even speak to the guy that's with her and sleeping with her. We do have 3 kids together, I did work to much and neglected her sexual needs but realising that now I can't get a second chance to fix the relationship. She is getting her needs met now so I can understand why she is not willing to come back even for a week. But why not admit it to me?
@staceychenevert18 сағат бұрын
I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes they won't admit out of shame and denial. We can get to a point where we justify our reasons therefore believing we are not really having an affair.
@tedmillion7171Күн бұрын
It was once well understood that "they never, never leave their wives."
@staceychenevertКүн бұрын
True
@tedmillion7171Күн бұрын
You actually believe that infidelity within a marriage makes that marriage stronger?
@staceychenevertКүн бұрын
No I believe that God will work everything out for your good.
@celtic-minstrelКүн бұрын
So you've had two affairs over two marraiges ?
@ShaunyP262 күн бұрын
We meaning women. Men aren't typically this stupid.
@atomicgeisha3 күн бұрын
I never wanted to date a married man because if he can cheat on his wife he will cheat on me too.
@staceychenevert3 күн бұрын
That is so wise of you
@Gotoworkkk3 күн бұрын
Ahhh not necessarily… sometimes the person you marry is not a good match for you down the line. People do change within marriages.
@staceychenevert3 күн бұрын
@@Gotoworkkk That maybe the truth but it doesn't mean we should marry our affair partner. As you say people change and you never really know someone fully during an affair. The root cause of the affair will surface again at some point during the marriage.
@user-sy4fe5vg6b4 күн бұрын
Wow, that was scary.
@staceychenevert4 күн бұрын
Yes it is
@danoles2k4 күн бұрын
this was great info. I'm single but dating and in love with a married woman for 7 years now, who claims Im the man she loves and wants to be with yet, SOMETHING keeps her hanging onto a marriage she says makes her miserable. She says its purely financial and for the sake of the kids, but im no so sure.
@staceychenevert4 күн бұрын
Welcome, and that is a common response. The question is how are yu willing to put your life on hold?
@alive46275 күн бұрын
Take religion out of it!
@annesilverman4695 күн бұрын
Cheaters support group!
@annesilverman4695 күн бұрын
Love is not selfish.
@staceychenevert5 күн бұрын
People in general tend to be selfish if put in the right circumstances.
@annesilverman4695 күн бұрын
He lost his love partly because YOU groomed him. Ugly stuff. Shame on the betrayers.
@annesilverman4695 күн бұрын
Emotional affairs are just as harmful as sexual affairs. Get divorced or leave your partner before cheating. Hang on to your moral compass and character. Its just not worth it.
@staceychenevert5 күн бұрын
You are right it's not worth it
@annesilverman4698 күн бұрын
Betrayers cause ALOT of harm. Thete is no excuse. Leave your spouse before cheating. Dont be a coward.
@staceychenevert8 күн бұрын
One would think it's that simple but it's not
@sheiszarr9 күн бұрын
WOW ( I HAVE TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE OF HOW STUPID THIS VIDEO IS) HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF AN MARRIAGE EXPERT? AND IT SEEMS LIKE YOU COULDEN'T TAKE YOUR OWN ADVISE? NOT ONLY ARE YOU IN ADULTERY BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A SECOND MARRIAGE BECAUSE YOUR FIRST HUSBAND IS STILL ALIVE. WHICH YOU NEED TO STUDY ON DIVORCE & REMMARIAGE IN THE BIBLE. BUT YOU NEED TO REPENT AND STOP GIVING PEOPLE ADVICE. THIS IS SO DANGEROUS. AND SATAN IS HAVING A BALL USING YOU AS HIS TOOL TO PROMOTE ADULTERY AND STUPINESS. I HOPE ONE DAY YOU WAKE UP AND SEE HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOU ARE DOING! I CAN GO ON AND ON, BUT ME EVEN WRITING THIS PISSES ME OFF. WHY DOES GOD PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO IGNORANT? SIS YOU ARE DEFENTALY BRAIN WASHED AND NEED TO SEEK GOD ON THIS COUNSEL THAT YOU ARE GIVING OUT!
@mrjohnthedestroyer9 күн бұрын
If you're in a shitty relationship why can't people just LEAVE BEFORE starting the new one. The old saying "How you found your partner is how you'll lose your partner." Jesus a serial cheater. Horrible. Did you cheater on your boyfriends also???
@staceychenevert9 күн бұрын
How about you answer my question John the destroyer, what or who in your life are you destroying?
@stephenwade695710 күн бұрын
I confused, is he apologizing for his wife cheating?
@staceychenevert9 күн бұрын
No he is not
@dru15818 күн бұрын
Not at all...
@stephenwade695710 күн бұрын
Great work
@staceychenevert10 күн бұрын
Thank you
@edwardhenderson727311 күн бұрын
That was very brave of your husband to do that. I I noticed his leg bouncing , obvious by the up and down of his right shoulder. The betrayed will never let the wayward know the extent of their Hurt; first you are not capable of understanding it. I imagine he worries that you would feel he is unable to forgive; It appears that he has. I wish you two the best but you still got some work. You look great but he still looks very distressed, he doesn’t look comfortable around you. Again kudos to your husband for having the courage to share this; most men would bury it and never speak of it. Thank you for sharing, I am sure it is helping many.
@staceychenevert11 күн бұрын
It's amazing how someone can make an observation based on a 30-minute video. Let me say this first my husband has been bouncing his leg for 30 years. Second, did it occur to you that he gets nervous being on camera? Most likely not because you have a belief that people can't truly heal and have a happy marriage after an affair so your brain will look for evidence to prove your belief is true. You imagine his worries possibly because they are yours? Also, I was betrayed by my first husband so I do know the pain of betrayal. Yes, my husband is very brave because he wants to help couples understand that they can heal and be happy but then he gets comments like this that try to discredit what he says. Maybe next time you consider the people we are trying to bring hope to before you share your opinion and judgment.
@edwardhenderson727311 күн бұрын
You’re right I am not expert at human behavior. Just lived a lot of life. Absolutely I could be completely wrong. Only one person could tell you, right?
@edwardhenderson727311 күн бұрын
I want to apologize. I seem to be having difficulty communicating what I want to. I can tell by the feelings I raised I totally missed the mark. So I sincerely do apologize
@staceychenevert9 күн бұрын
Thank you i appericate it so much@edwardhenderson7273
@dru15818 күн бұрын
This is Andrew. So, my body language in the video is just because I personally don't like being on camera, lol. Believe me, during recovery, I most certainly let her know how hurt I was. You say we still have some work... To be honest, all marriages need continued work. We have come a long way for sure. Please don't judge my relationship from this video! We are in a better place than we have ever been. We are best friends and do life together. Our true purpose is to share our story and use the tools we have learned to help others heal and move forward from this. place. Thanks for your comments!
@oldgeezer332413 күн бұрын
I hope you have another broadcast when I can be there on the smae subject. I think a lot of people would be interested in finding this subject live.
@staceychenevert13 күн бұрын
We will be doing another live soon. I don't think youtube pushed out the live so not alot of people saw it.
@oldgeezer332413 күн бұрын
There is so much value in when he said, he didn't want to lose his family
@oldgeezer332413 күн бұрын
I SO wish I had found this pod cast yesterday, I am 70 years old, I was married to my wife 43 years and we had been through it all.
@staceychenevert13 күн бұрын
Im happy you are here now
@StormyMonday089614 күн бұрын
I definitely cant. I hope he never does it.
@tedmillion717114 күн бұрын
If you have an affair, you don't love your husband. If you love your husband, you don't have an affair.
@staceychenevert14 күн бұрын
Oh wow if it was that simple then people wouldn't have affairs.. It's not that simple!
@debbiestavros607514 күн бұрын
How can my husband and I meet with you to get help and can it be done on line?
Proud of you for becoming a person you are now.. Also i hate a person like you to my core because my mother was like you .. I forgive her but the scares of her juggling guy to guy in my childhood has impacted me grately and she will never know this
@robertmason135715 күн бұрын
Stop with the Kamala Harris ads! How fucking stupid do you have to be to put a Marxist in office to protect Democracy.
@anthonywilliams709615 күн бұрын
how did you stop having the mental thoughts about her have an affair .
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
Andrew told me that it took him about 1 year
@lovely387315 күн бұрын
Maam, how long did it take you to completely move on with your feeling for your affair partner?
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
It5 took me about 3 years because I didnt know how to stop thinking about him
@lovely387314 күн бұрын
@@staceychenevert thanks for the info maam.
@timcomstock579815 күн бұрын
The thing that bothers me the most , Stacey seems to put her lover on a higher place than your husband almost like she will always consider him as the love of her life.
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
My misssion is to help other people escape the trap of infidelity. So of course I will speak about my affair partner. Your judgment of how I feel about my husband and the esteem I hold him at is based on a 40 minute video where we talk about the affair?
@timcomstock579815 күн бұрын
I didn't get that
@timcomstock579815 күн бұрын
I will say that Stacey is be honest
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
I am very honest and transparent with my story
@timcomstock579815 күн бұрын
I think the forgiveness is 90% 10%
@user-dm1xh6bz3i15 күн бұрын
At what age do people stop having affairs
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
I don't think there is an age limit
@user-dm1xh6bz3i15 күн бұрын
@@staceychenevert That's not reassuring
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
@@user-dm1xh6bz3i Age wont stop infidelity. Its a core wound problem that causes infidelity.
@ayseyilmaz391017 күн бұрын
Can you please do a video on different attachment styles that may cause infidelity? Thank you. ❤
@staceychenevert17 күн бұрын
Yes
@edwardhenderson727318 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing. I would be interested more in hearing from you husband and where he is with all this. I'm sure he is forever changed. God bless you both.
@staceychenevert18 күн бұрын
Welcome, we are going live on tiktok on Wednesday the 31st at 7 central time. My page is [email protected] stacey chenevert
@4give719 күн бұрын
Do you understand what usually happens when one person in the affair is married and the other is not?
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
yes i do understand I work with that dynamic everyday
@4give719 күн бұрын
You're married to your first affair partner but doing a video on why affairs don't last? This is confusing. You're in the 2% of affair couples that make it to marriage? How long have you been married to your AP? I wonder if the statistics are incorrect?
@staceychenevert19 күн бұрын
Correct but I had a second affair and God restored our marriage had it not been for our faith we would be divorced.
@tashapeck20 күн бұрын
I thought I was my dryer lol😢
@RhondaHubbard-kj3ed20 күн бұрын
I would rather a person not be called an affair 'partner', as they are not your partner, but someone else's. Affair person or limerant object has less of a sting. Thank u for all u do Stacy. Your podcasts have helped & continue to help me so much.
@staceychenevert20 күн бұрын
Welcome
@peterlawrence681521 күн бұрын
Get on with it and stop dragging it out .
@staceychenevert21 күн бұрын
Don't watch if it bothers you
@timcomstock579823 күн бұрын
Your husband in order too get his confidence back. Should do the same. And maybe he'll pick you
@staceychenevert15 күн бұрын
Clearly you have bitterness in your heart which is really sad. Maybe you should seek healing so you can move on and not try to give destructive advice to someone else. Truthfully you have no idea what you are suggesting
@timcomstock579823 күн бұрын
Sorry but your affair partner Stacey was just in it for the nookie 😢
@staceychenevert23 күн бұрын
For some this may be true but for him it wasn't. He did get a divorce and tired to get me to leave with him.
@ramonaveatch471824 күн бұрын
How do you get over it if you work with the person? And if you were both married?
@staceychenevert23 күн бұрын
You can get over them if you work together it's just a different approach I take my clients through. 😊
@ramonaveatch471823 күн бұрын
@@staceychenevert do you think that a friendship could still happen or remain?
@staceychenevert23 күн бұрын
No a friendship would not be advised, it will keep you stuck and attached to them.
@Red-rose-garden25 күн бұрын
When you have sex with a person you create a soul tie! That’s why its so hard to seperate …your great advice to never start an affair is the best advice for peace of mind…please be honest and tell the spouse the truth and seperate or divorce! Atleast you are being honest!
@staceychenevert25 күн бұрын
Yes! This is so true. Unfortunately infidelity is a trap and it enslaves you before you know it.
@Red-rose-garden25 күн бұрын
@@staceychenevertI agree..I was the victim of an unfaithful husband..I knew that he was depressed and I loved him enough to offer him a divorce so he could go on with someone else. He pleaded with me and said how much he loved me ..meanwhile cheating with paid women the whole time! What a shock and heartbreak!
@AJ-ml3kc28 күн бұрын
God will never send you someone’s husband or wife. A home is not built on another persons tears
@staceychenevert23 күн бұрын
This is correct
@StrengthCampBulls11 күн бұрын
Sometimes god doesn’t send you the one you’re married to now
@user-lh7xj3bl6y3 күн бұрын
As much as one would want to believe what you have said, that is far from the truth. God doesn't care when the decent person gets hurt😢
@timothyeubanks29 күн бұрын
Wow, Stacey. People are making some incredibly rude and insensitive comments regarding your story and the life you and your family have chosen to pursue. Let it be known, Stacey here doesn’t have to explain herself. She owes nothing. To the people on blast, who made you god? Does your life experience matter more than hers? Are you perfectly navigating the complexities of life? If your comments do not offer encouragement, sit on your hands. If you choose to attack her for her story, don’t watch the video. Be mindful of others who choose to fight for their marriages post affair. Let people choose to do what they believe is best without condemnation, whether it be to stay, separate, or divorce. All paths forward from an affair are brutal. The least we can do is be supportive and encouraging for those who are trying to move forward with their lives.
@staceychenevert29 күн бұрын
Yes people are full of opinions and judgments about moving on after infidelity. But thank you so much for your kind words. I appericate it!
@mclazerz893129 күн бұрын
As a betrayed spouse, I wholly agree. It's sickening really to read those things. Not only for those who strayed,, but for those of us on the other end working through recovery, especially when staying. It has a chilling effect and makes it harder to heal and find community in this.
@timothyeubanks28 күн бұрын
@@mclazerz8931 good on you! Stay the course
@nickbargas735229 күн бұрын
You can stay together even after a betrayal but the relationship will ALWAYS be stained!!
@staceychenevert29 күн бұрын
I must disagree our marriage is better now. If you don't know how to forgive it will be stained