I brutally got humiliated in an argument which i could have won easily in 2015 .. i felt nothing day later and completely forgot but from 2023 February.. im constantly mad and angry and the painful memory keep repeating
@syedafiffahad24318 күн бұрын
Yapper
@baxter98720 күн бұрын
9:10 I suspect those different ways were the best friend and the rocking chair tests? Your video was valuable to stop me from insisting on apologizing. The other person is confusing. They've avoided me, then they've sought me out, all the while I've been feeling guilty and wanted to apologize to them. I don't know what they want from me, why they didn't want to see me before, why they want to see me now. They aren't talking to me. I've considered seeing a third party for something unrelated, and relay a quick apology to the affected person by the end in a uninstrusive way. I was not given permission, but the person now makes eye contact with me without speaking. I suspect this is the best way to relieve myself from this feeling, but I don't want to bother them either. I've felt guilty for 9 months over absolutely nothing. All I know is that an "I'm sorry is due", and not being on speaking terms over absolutely nothing is such a waste of time, I can't begin to describe it. I don't know what to do.. So I suspect those two tests were the ways to deal with guilt if permission indeed is not given?
@sullivanandassociates15 күн бұрын
@baxter987, I appreciate your thoughtful comment and am glad the video offered some value in navigating this complex situation. It sounds like you're in a truly frustrating and emotionally draining situation. Feeling guilty for 9 months, especially when you're not even sure what caused the initial rift, is a heavy burden to carry. It's also commendable that you're prioritizing the other person's comfort and not wanting to bother them, even while you're struggling with your own feelings of guilt. This demonstrates empathy and consideration, which are crucial in navigating any conflict, especially when the other person's motivations are unclear. The "Best Friend Test" and "Rocking Chair Test" are indeed designed to help you gain perspective when making amends directly isn't possible. They encourage you to consider how you would advise someone you care about in a similar situation, and how lingering guilt might affect your well-being in the long run. Your idea of relaying an apology through a third party in an unobtrusive way seems like a balanced approach. It acknowledges the need to express your remorse without putting pressure on the other person to respond immediately or engage in a conversation they may not be ready for. However, the mixed signals you're receiving from the other person-avoiding you and then seeking you out, making eye contact but not speaking-make this situation even more challenging. It's understandable that you're confused and unsure how to proceed. If you feel comfortable, perhaps consider observing their behavior a bit longer to see if any patterns emerge or if they initiate any communication. This could provide some insight into their intentions and help you decide on the best course of action. Remember, prioritizing your own well-being is essential too. If the guilt continues to weigh heavily on you despite your efforts, seeking support from a therapist or counselor could be beneficial. They can provide tools and strategies to manage these feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Remember, you're not alone in this, and there are resources available to help you navigate this difficult situation.
@DigitalTrendzy202322 күн бұрын
Some of my Family members & colleauges are feeling with anxiety and making others feeling anxious.How to deal with them
@sullivanandassociates15 күн бұрын
@DigitalTrendzy2023, it's definitely tough when someone's anxiety impacts those around them. Remember, dealing with anxious people requires patience, empathy, and clear boundaries. Here are some tips: Educate Yourself: Understanding anxiety can help you respond with compassion rather than frustration. Listen Actively: Let them express their worries without judgment. Sometimes, just being heard can be incredibly calming. Offer Reassurance: Remind them that you care and are there to support them. Encourage Healthy Coping: Suggest activities like exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. Set Boundaries: If their anxiety is triggering your own, it's okay to take a step back and protect your own mental health. Suggest Professional Help: If their anxiety is severe or affecting their daily life, encourage them to seek help from a therapist or counselor. Remember: You can't fix someone else's anxiety, but you can offer understanding and support. Taking care of your own well-being is also crucial.
@poopholemcpooppantsАй бұрын
i broke a flower pot
@hannahduggan3599Ай бұрын
I feel guilty all the time. When I was a little girl, I often bullied my dear baby brother Seth. Since he was a late talker, I bit his little ear, pushed him down the stairs, pushed him off the rocking chair, and hurt him in so many other ways. Now, I'm almost 28 years old and he's 23 years old. We still live in the same home together. Whenever I apologize to him, he says, "That's okay. I love you very much." When I was 12 years old, I called my newborn baby brother Jeremiah evil. He's 15 years old now. Whenever I apologize to him for that, he says, "That's okay. I don't remember any of that. I will always love you." Whenever I remind him that the real evil person was me for saying that about him, he says, "No. You're not evil. If you love and believe in God and Jesus Christ, you're not evil. I love and believe in God and Jesus." I also feel extremely guilty about how I treated my music teacher when I was in elementary school. When I was in the 1st grade, I loved him. When I was in the 2nd grade, I started getting annoyed by him. When I was in the 3rd grade, I started hating him. When I was in the 4th grade, I accused him of doing things that he never did. When I was in the 3rd grade, he was teaching me and my class how to play Down By The Station on the recorder. I threw my recorder at him and yelled, "I HATE YOU!" I always write sincere apology letters to him, but he never writes back. He probably hates me now. Also, when I was 10 to 11 years old, I accused my loving parents, especially my loving father, of child abuse. Whenever I apologize to Daddy, he tells me to forget about it and that he will always love me. Whenever I apologize to Mommy, she tells me that I have already been forgiven a long time ago. Last year, when I was 26 years old, I felt extremely guilty about lying to my elementary school guidance counselor when I was 10 years old. I often told her that Daddy was hurting me, which was a big fat lie. So, at 26 years old, I decided to write her a letter, telling her the truth. When she got the letter, she called the police department. The police department then called my home while I was helping Mommy do laundry. When a handsome young policeman came to my house, he talked to me about the letter I mailed to my elementary school guidance counselor. He told me that she already knew that I lied to her at 10 years old. Every night, I just lie in bed thinking about what a horrible person I am for treating all these wonderful people so horribly. The only thing I want to do right now is go to my elementary school music teacher's house, apologize to him in person, and have him teach me how to play Down By The Station on the recorder. He retired in the mid 2010's. If he is still doing anything with music, that's great. Even if he's just lying in bed while listening to music, that's great, too. My elementary school music teacher was such a kind man. He was also very handsome. I saw recent pictures of him on his Facebook page. He has grandchildren now. He is still as handsome as as when he was my elementary school music teacher. I want this same guy to teach me how to play Down By The Station on the recorder.
@sullivanandassociates24 күн бұрын
@hannahduggan3599, it sounds like you're carrying a lot of guilt and regret from your past actions. It's important to remember that people can and do change, and your efforts to apologize and make amends show how much you've grown. Your brothers and parents have shown you love and forgiveness, which is a testament to the strength of your relationships. It's also okay to seek forgiveness from yourself and recognize the positive steps you're taking now. The journey to self-forgiveness can be challenging, but it's a crucial part of healing. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
@hannahduggan359924 күн бұрын
@sullivanandassociates You're welcome. And thank you for the good advice. I will try to forgive myself, even though I still feel extremely guilty. I even wrote a sincere apology letter to my elementary school music teacher, but he never wrote back. Every day, I check the mail to see if he wrote back. He never did.
@EfendiCahya-pd5zcАй бұрын
Ddssdddwwsdrfdd
@anuneupane678Ай бұрын
I wwC
@juliaarambula3153Ай бұрын
Can these adrenaline dumps last for months for half the day?
@sullivanandassociatesАй бұрын
Hi @juliaarambula3153, thanks for your question. While individual panic attacks usually peak within 10-20 minutes, the underlying anxiety and stress that contribute to them can definitely persist for longer periods. It's possible to experience heightened stress and anxiety for extended durations, even months, which can feel like a lingering "adrenaline dump." This chronic stress can manifest as ongoing physical symptoms (like fatigue, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping) and emotional distress. If you're experiencing symptoms that last for extended periods, it's crucial to seek guidance from a healthcare professional or mental health specialist. They can help identify the root causes and recommend appropriate treatment options, which might include therapy, medication, or lifestyle changes. Remember, you're not alone in this, and there are many effective ways to manage both panic attacks and chronic stress.
@sumbae76682 ай бұрын
I find it stressful because people exist and breathe and make annoying noises. Who cares about anxiety I just can't handle there being people everywhere 24/7. Talking, breathing, whistling. If they were quiet it would be easier. It has nothing to do with anxiety. Why do all psychologist think being annoyed by sounds can only be anxiety. Why is there no help for people with adhd, who are stressed by sounds and people touching and bumping into you outside. I just want personal space not to cuddle with random strangers in public
@sullivanandassociatesАй бұрын
Hi @sumbae7668, it's completely valid to feel overwhelmed by crowds and the noises that come with them. It sounds like you're experiencing sensory overload, which can be especially challenging for people with ADHD. While the video focuses on anxiety, it's important to recognize that sensory sensitivities can stem from various sources, including ADHD and other neurological differences. You're absolutely right that there's a difference between anxiety and annoyance or discomfort caused by sensory overload. Here are a few things you might find helpful: Noise-cancelling headphones or earplugs: These can create a quieter, more manageable environment when you're out in public. Sensory-friendly spaces: Look for quieter areas in stores or parks, or plan outings during less crowded times. Communicate your needs: Let friends or family know about your sensory sensitivities, so they can understand and support you. Seek professional help: If sensory overload is significantly impacting your daily life, consider consulting with an occupational therapist or other healthcare professional who specializes in sensory processing. They can offer personalized strategies and support. Remember, you're not alone in this. There are many people who experience similar challenges, and there are resources available to help you manage sensory overload and find ways to enjoy public spaces.
@Gokuisthegre2 ай бұрын
I want a girlfriend but I just don’t feel like putting in the the effort to to get rejected over and over it’s bad enough females don’t give me eye contact when I walk past them I don’t trust a female that can’t give me eye contact maybe that’s sign cause most women don’t give me eye contact therefore most of them can’t be trusted oh well feminism
@sullivanandassociatesАй бұрын
Hi @Gokuisthegre, thanks for sharing your thoughts. It sounds like you're feeling frustrated and discouraged when it comes to dating. It's important to remember that everyone experiences rejection at some point, and it's not a reflection of your worth. Making eye contact can be a complex social interaction, and there are many reasons why someone might not make eye contact with you. It could be due to shyness, cultural differences, or simply being distracted. Assuming it's a sign of distrust or associating it with feminism might be oversimplifying things. If you're looking for a relationship, it's great to start by building your confidence and self-esteem. Focus on things you enjoy and surround yourself with positive people. When you feel good about yourself, it will naturally shine through and attract others. Remember, healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and shared interests, not just eye contact.
@pematenzin75082 ай бұрын
My main concern is not knowing where to look when a unknown person faces you while walking. Any recommendations 😢??
@sullivanandassociatesАй бұрын
Hi @pematenzin7508, that's a great question and a very common feeling right now. It's easy to get stuck in that "where do I look?" moment. Here are a couple of suggestions: A Brief Nod: A small nod of acknowledgement can be a friendly, non-verbal way to say "hello" while passing someone. You can keep your gaze neutral and look straight ahead, or briefly glance at the person as you nod. A Quick Smile: If you feel comfortable, a small smile is another way to acknowledge the person while maintaining your own comfort level. Focus on Your Surroundings: If you prefer not to engage directly, try focusing your attention on your surroundings. Notice the trees, buildings, or anything interesting around you. This can help redirect your attention and ease any discomfort. Remember, there's no right or wrong way to handle these encounters. The most important thing is to do what feels comfortable for you. 😊
@warriorxtman22 ай бұрын
I feel guilty 15 hours a week.
@sullivanandassociates2 ай бұрын
That's a significant amount of time to be feeling guilty, @warriorxtman2. While guilt can serve a purpose, it's important to address it if it's impacting your well-being.
@warriorxtman22 ай бұрын
Fast forward to 6:09
@sellahodera66622 ай бұрын
Great insights
@sullivanandassociates2 ай бұрын
Thanks for watching, @sellahodera6662!
@AnshikaYadav-dj9pu3 ай бұрын
am girl when I entered in new school in 9th standard. Classmates and dthat school was somehow seems like to give attention to beautiful girls and only talk to them may be they are not mature enough. So I was not beautiful I was skinny and I had not have dressing sense and before that I have not realised that I am lacking something in me. So whey whispers in ears that I am not beautiful I am looking or I am walking bad there eyes and all says everything so there was a boy in my class who was not good looking so they add my name to him and even girls who are beautiful they are very much proud of themselves this all give me depression or anxiety and I show that I am happy and I don't feel bad what they say. But inner me was saying that where I am i awant to leave this place right now I was young and also want that attention because emot a single friend there so I always start to find bad company. And I failed in that class. And repeat that class sma ehappened in that class too boys whispers and said I am a boy because ei don't have figure and all and how bad I am looking. And that was my age where we all need male attention. So I start lying by making fake Facebook I'd that I have a good family and they are good looking talking to one or three of my classmates and theys tart talking to me in class for five ten minutes but that was enough for me they also got to know I am good at study but I am repeating the class. After conversation one become my friend and after sometime I fall in love with them and he also but he never considered me beautiful and never praised even I know deep down he loves or support beautiful but somehow he loves my conversation. So he is connected deeply. Because whenever hsi friends and all say bad about my face and body or they spread rumours he present there but never defend me I was feeling more sad. Whom I love I can't even tell truth about those fake I'd and how I am in depression my confidence was low. And there was no empathy in classmates. Whatever beutiful girls said they believe. And after some in my class 12th one person gotbto know that I am using those I'd because I talk a lot to two three people and he got to know and I was using picture of someone beautiful girl s sister or brother who was always feels me down and and that boy said to everyone how can she do it I was talking to her because ei thought that were her sister or brother who are beautiful I never talk to her he said to my bf that leave her she is a liar. After that I also scared I closed every account and that boy and my whole class against me he tell mor ethings he said I have bad intention towards texing them and all he said slut and all things make fun wherever he goes. I stayed away from my bf he was confused and also feeling betrayed I was not able to tell truth because I never want to hurt that he can't even trust girl and I don't want myself to look down in his eyes. And after sometime when he start researching he also got to know. He got some idea that I was lying. But I had promised that I have to tell something before this happens but I was unable to he went to delhi he falls in love with another girl when I watch that photo on Instagram I couldn't hold my tears from 4 years I isolated myself I tried to message him when he asked me I scared and tell more lie about my family so I stop texting and he also got to know ia lways make false story I regret. When I was in college I thought I should make new friends but those eclassmates of mine they tell evryone that she is a liar don't talk to her. Talk to her if you want to enjoy. I am feeling guilty since 4 years I am not doing significant in life even though I had big dreams
@sullivanandassociates2 ай бұрын
Anshika, your story is a poignant reminder of the immense pain that bullying and feelings of inadequacy can cause. It's clear that you've been through a lot, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by guilt and regret. However, please remember that you were young and trying to navigate a difficult social environment. Your actions were driven by a desire for connection and acceptance, which is something we all yearn for. It's important to acknowledge the hurt you may have caused, but it's equally crucial to forgive yourself. Holding onto guilt will only weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward. Instead, focus on learning from your experiences and using them to grow stronger and more resilient. Remember, you are not defined by your past mistakes. You have the power to create a new narrative for yourself, one that is filled with self-love, compassion, and authenticity. Don't let the negativity of others dim your light. Focus on your strengths, pursue your passions, and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are. Your dreams are still within reach. It may take time and effort to heal and rebuild your confidence, but it is possible. Seek support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Remember, you are not alone. This is a new chapter in your life. Let go of the past, embrace your true self, and move forward with courage and determination. You deserve happiness and success.
@prasantkumar70742 ай бұрын
A very thanks to you
@Pobsta-de7hb3 ай бұрын
It is literally able to ruin a life, I know it has mine for over 30 years, I had a good spell for a while but nope im pretty bad again. Im an average to good looking perfectly normal guy, I know this and I know no one will look at me and think anything different but it just takes hold, then I panic more about managing that feeling and the anxiety than I do what I am actually doing whether it is walking, yep it can actually cause me to walk funny and almost forget how to, driving is some how better depending on where I am driving and why. Getting a bus alone ? No chance, going to a shopping centre/super market alone? No chance. Then I am angry because anybody I let know about this seems to mistake it for me being scared, I am not scared of anybody and am more thna capable of taking care of myself, it is not fear from people physically. For me this issue started way back in college and I have no idea why, I remember it clearly even though it 30 years ago now that for no reason I can see or remember or tell I started to take back roads on my way walking to college instead of the busy main roads but even that became almost impossible and so slowly I stopped going often and then was kicked out. I started to prefer it being dark outside than say mid day as for some reason in the dark I was able to walk with much much less anxiety. Gradually I lost all friends because any invites to places, any thing to do with going out etc etc as friends all do right, I found excuses not to. At one point and even still now even talking on the phone or answering it was a major issue. I probably spent the next 15 years from college quite secluded and "happy" in doors, i say happy but I never was. I am 49 now and sick of it and think I have spent over half my life with this controlling me, lets have half without it but it just is not that easy and it is just not working, nothing seems to. What is frustrating is I know everything I think is wrong, I know everything is not how I think it is and people just are not looking and caring or anything like I convince myself and I know it is all in my head but how can I know that and yet tell myself really that it is all how I think? It is so frustrating. I am convinced people look at me, people judge me, people speak about me all sorts, it actually caused aggression when I were younger which is still inside of me in a big way but I think with age and experience of handling it I am able to do that but when I think somebody is speaking about me or worse somebody I tell anything about this to does not take me seriously or laughs it off. Anyway I could go on and on because living like that certainly caused a lot of other issues with me but I will stop here, maybe saying all of this just lets others who can relate know they are not alone, I hope anyone with anything like this gets rid of it and I will continue to fight this myself as well. I wish you all of the best and anybody who gets rid of it totally makes me the happiest person ever because I understand what it does to you or done to you
@sullivanandassociates3 ай бұрын
Your story resonates deeply, and it's incredibly brave of you to share your experiences so openly. It's heartbreaking to hear how anxiety has affected your life for so long, but please know that you are not alone in this struggle. It's completely understandable to feel frustrated and angry when anxiety takes over, especially when it's dismissed or misunderstood by others. It's a real and debilitating condition that affects every aspect of life, and it's not something you can simply "snap out of." You're absolutely right that the negative thoughts and fears are often irrational, but that doesn't make them any less powerful or overwhelming. It's a constant battle to challenge those thoughts and to remind yourself that they don't reflect reality. It's inspiring to see your determination to overcome this. Please don't give up hope. There are many effective treatments and coping mechanisms available, and with time and effort, it is possible to manage anxiety and regain control of your life. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. You deserve support and understanding, and there are people who care and want to help you on this journey. Thank you for sharing your story and for offering support to others who are struggling. You are not alone, and your courage is an inspiration.
@Deaconripsndips3 ай бұрын
This channel is the best , i was having such a hard time motivating change , soo lets start within
@sullivanandassociates3 ай бұрын
I'm so glad to hear that this channel is resonating with you, Deaconripsndips, and helping you find the motivation to change! It's a fantastic first step to recognize that change starts within. We're excited to be a part of your journey!
@ashleyschackai76843 ай бұрын
Thanks you for making this. It’s so easy to follow and understand. My husband was recently diagnosed
@sullivanandassociates3 ай бұрын
I'm glad you found the video easy to follow and helpful, @ashleyschackai7684. It's important to have clear and accessible information, especially after a new diagnosis. Wishing the best for you and your husband on this journey.
@itsjustmesimplelife60783 ай бұрын
Thank you! This was very helpful!
@sullivanandassociates3 ай бұрын
Glad to hear you found the video helpful, @itsjustmesimplelife6078! Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment.
@microwavedmetal3 ай бұрын
Sometimes my mom panics too much and it pisses me off because I’m a very calm person 😂
@sullivanandassociates3 ай бұрын
It sounds challenging to navigate those different reactions, @microwavedmetal. It’s great that you can maintain your calm; that's a strength not everyone has. Maybe your presence can be a calming influence for your mom during her anxious moments. Thanks for sharing your experience!
@microwavedmetal3 ай бұрын
@@sullivanandassociates I try to be there for her but I believe she can also help herself. I didn’t just learn to be calm overnight
@ranc19773 ай бұрын
Exposure will not work because socially anxious people have inner critic and toxic shame that is thwarting events and they put the brain into lookout what other people think about us. This CBT exposure ends up as people pleasing and fawning and Mate Crime - because inner critic nor toxic shame is not addressed as major self sabotaging element. Social anxiety is not phobia - it will not go away with exposure to feared object as phobia goes away. - / - I go out and I have a blast. I see people I know, watch show in a club, I talk. And it feels good, invigorated. And..next day I will feel anxious again about doing the same thing! You would think after so many times of positive reinforcement 🟥JamesCamacho - / - This happens because social anxiety is trauma issue. We did not catch social anxiety by walking randomly in the street and catching it like common cold. Social anxiety - comes from ACE and ACoA, exposure to long term criticism and nagging and complaining and punishments. Using our logical brain to handle unconscious brain by suppressing it and dissociating it and convincing ourselves that toxic people are not toxic - is really terrible idea. Because you do not mention toxic people and oppressive situations like lack of finances and mobbing, aka real life situations. CBT is focusing too much on unnecessary unimportant things like shopping and groceries and logic brain that we make ourselves into some kind of machine and zombie, that is conformist and depends on groupthink herd mentality neurotypical patriarchy "values" and ideology - as if holding door to someone will help us not feeling toxic shame. Social anxiety stems from fear of criticism and fear of negative judgements of other people upon us. So obvious solution is to allow other people to have bad thoughts about us. Allow other people to have judgements. Just allow it all - without us twisting ourselves into pretzel to change their opinions and conclusions. Real or imagined. Just allow them to be critical jerks who are judgmental. And then we lean on our Self - who we are and what we like to do in life, what is our job, what is our task at hand - as the primary focus. Not changing ourselves in order to avoid someone's bad thoughts about us. The central focus here is someone's beliefs that we cannot bare or endure to experience. Without us being aware of it at all, this goes unconsiously.
@user-dc1hv4cu3n3 ай бұрын
😊r
@ranc19773 ай бұрын
@@user-dc1hv4cu3n 7 days later and i- learned that actually it is not inner critic that is sabotaging us. It is similar to inner critic, It is broken Looking-glass Self that is doing the damage. IT is concept from sociology that was discovered 100 years ago but CBT is censoring it. We form our Self based on what we think other people are thinking about us. With broken Looking Glass Self - we end up with social anxiety where we presume that other people hate us and then we feel anxiety and try to please the other person in order that they think well of us. The solution is - to simply allow other people to form their opinion about us as much distorted as they do - accepting that they have distorted beliefs about us, and doing nothing to change their mind.
@canaanatkinson78303 ай бұрын
Thank you for giving a keen insight to residing in Canada while still being a US Citizen.
@sullivanandassociates3 ай бұрын
Thank you, @canaanatkinson7830! We're glad you found the insights relevant and helpful.
@sautjuitschool54054 ай бұрын
Thank you for this very informative presentation.
@sullivanandassociates4 ай бұрын
Thanks for the kind words! We're glad the presentation was helpful.
@francispaulmarottikal18394 ай бұрын
Say a little prayer🙏 God bless🙏
@sullivanandassociates4 ай бұрын
Thank you for your kind words, @francispaulmarottikal1839. A little prayer and positive thoughts can indeed bring comfort to many. Blessings to you as well. 🙏
@jenniferpetrellicarslearni22654 ай бұрын
All my family members and loved ones have passed away. Naver got over my father passing when I was 19. Lived with my mother and sister for many many years. When my mother passed away I had an extremely hard time dealing with it. Then shortly after that, my sister who was the last family member I had left passed away from cancer. I lost everyone that I was close to. My fathe,r my mother, my sister, my dog, my favorite uncle and my grandmother. Living with my mother and my sister for so many years. All of a sudden, them not to be here was such a shock. On top of that I have tons and tons of regrets for either things that I did or didn't do, some going back years. I went to a grief support group but it didn't help at all. My family was everything to me and being without them is just devastating. The only way to describe it is that it just feels like torture without them. 😭
@sullivanandassociates4 ай бұрын
I'm deeply sorry to hear about the immense losses you've experienced, @jenniferpetrellicarslearni2265. The pain and void left by the passing of so many close to you are understandably overwhelming. It's clear your family and loved ones played a significant role in your life, and adjusting to their absence is a profound challenge. Grieving such profound losses can indeed feel like torture, as you've described. While a support group didn't provide the relief you were hoping for, it's important to acknowledge that healing from grief is a highly personal process that varies greatly from one person to another. It might be helpful to explore different forms of support, such as one-on-one counseling with a therapist who specializes in grief. They can offer a safe space to navigate through your feelings of loss and regret, helping you find ways to cope that are meaningful to you. Sometimes, finding a new routine or way to honor the memories of your loved ones can also bring solace. Whether it's through memorializing their lives in a special way or engaging in activities they loved or you enjoyed together, these actions can keep their spirit alive in your heart and help you to gradually find a path forward. Remember, it's okay to not be okay, and reaching out for help is a strength. Your journey through grief is uniquely yours, but you don't have to walk it alone.
@jenniferpetrellicarslearni22654 ай бұрын
Best video on Gilt I've ever seen, however that's there's one thing situation that is missing. How to handle guild when a person has passed away, and you can't even have a conversation with them to apologize for something you have said or in any way you have acted.
@sullivanandassociates4 ай бұрын
I'm glad you found the video valuable, @jenniferpetrellicarslearni2265. Coping with guilt related to someone who has passed away presents unique challenges, as direct reconciliation isn't possible. It's important to remember that healing can still occur. Consider expressing your feelings through writing a letter to them, even if you can't send it, or by honouring their memory in a way that feels meaningful to you. Seeking support from a therapist can also provide space to explore these feelings and find ways to forgive yourself and move forward.
@LiberatingKids5 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video and for keeping it relatively short. It's very helpful to me as a partner to someone with untreated bipolar disorder.
@sullivanandassociates4 ай бұрын
I'm glad you found the video helpful, @LiberatingKids. Supporting a partner with untreated bipolar disorder is challenging, and having access to clear and concise information is crucial. Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as supporting your partner.
@darthplagueis34885 ай бұрын
Hey, I’m new to your channel. If you are still responding to the comments of this video, I just want to say you are a great explainer of how to deal with these things. I had a really bad panic attack Sunday, and I have generally tried most of the things you mentioned in the video. For the most part, I am feeling mostly calm. But I do feel nervous each morning. Probably the remaining feelings that come from the initial panic attack, but I am feeling more or so better. Hopefully you can respond back. Thanks.
@drakthu12245 ай бұрын
Ive always just asked that they would A) ask if nows a good time for blank, and B) clarify if theyre ranting or wanting advise in some direct or indirect way.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
It sounds like you've found some effective strategies to navigate communication, @drakthu1224! Setting clear expectations and understanding the context of the conversation can make a big difference.
@kathythureen93415 ай бұрын
I NEED HELP MANAGING MY FRUSTRATIONS AND ANGER PROBLEMS
@Jacob45678Liam5 ай бұрын
Why does 09:42 sound auto-tuned with the words, "GRAND SCHEME OF LIFE?"
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
Hey Jacob, thanks for pointing that out! It might just be an audio glitch or the way the sound came through at that moment. I'll definitely have a listen and see if we can fix it for future videos. It's important for us to ensure everything is clear and easy to listen to. Thanks for your sharp ears and for bringing it to our attention!
@gb2595 ай бұрын
Hearing him talk triggered my panic attack. The fast talking really did something. Don't understand why but it did
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
Have you ever caught yourself feeling sorry for yourself over something not that serious? It is common human nature. People like to feel sorry for themselves. However, it is childish and shows an undisciplined mind. The difference between being a victim and being stronger for having lived through adversity is just a choice. I am shocked that a medical professional would promote theories as fact and purposefully use peoples victimhood to promote their business.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
We encourage diverse viewpoints and constructive debates as they are essential for a comprehensive understanding of complex topics like intergenerational trauma. It's important to note that our channel presents perspectives based on a broad range of scientific research and clinical practice within psychology. We must insist on maintaining a respectful tone in discussions. Continuing to engage in a manner that is perceived as hostile or disrespectful may result in moderation actions to ensure our community remains a supportive and informative space for everyone interested in mental health topics. Thank you for sharing your views, and we hope future interactions can be productive and respectful.
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
@@sullivanandassociates Ok then, respectfully…. You speak authoritatively in your video as if everything you state is a fact. You never once said that this is a highly debated, controversial topic, which has not been conclusively proven. Yet anyone willing to do 5 minutes of research can see that this is not an absolute truth. I encourage you to watch this video again now that we have been able debate a little. Everything regarding this theory is spoken of as an absolute fact. Don’t you think people have the right to know this is not established medical fact as you represent it?
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
@TheToolBoxWhisperer, Thank you for your continued engagement and for raising important points about the communication of scientific theories and research findings. You're right that it is crucial to clearly distinguish between established facts and areas of ongoing debate within the scientific and medical communities. Our intention is to share insights based on a wide array of studies and clinical observations that contribute to the understanding of intergenerational trauma. We acknowledge that scientific research is an ever-evolving field, and new findings can add depth, challenge existing theories, or open up new avenues of inquiry. The concept of intergenerational trauma is one such area where research is ongoing, and while there is significant evidence supporting its impact, it is indeed subject to debate and further investigation. We appreciate your call for clarity about the nature of the evidence presented. Our goal is to inform and foster understanding, recognizing the importance of nuanced discussion in the field of mental health. We value the opportunity to reflect on how we present complex subjects and are committed to facilitating informed and respectful conversations.
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
Why do you debate me on these topics yet erase my comments when they prove you wrong?
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
I'm sorry for any confusion, but please be assured that your comments have not been removed. They should appear when sorted by newest. Your participation in the conversation is valued, and differing viewpoints are crucial for a comprehensive discourse on such complex subjects. If you have any further concerns or comments, feel free to share them.
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
The concept of intergenerational trauma, also known as transgenerational trauma, first emerged in the context of studying the children of Holocaust survivors in the 1960s. Canadian psychiatrist Vivian M. Rakoff and her colleagues observed high rates of psychological distress among this group, leading them to theorize that the effects of trauma could be transmitted across generations. While there's no single group solely promoting intergenerational trauma, various mental health professionals, community organizations, and social justice advocates have contributed to its growing recognition. Ask yourself why social justice groups would be partnering with mental health professionals to promote theories as fact.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
The collaboration between social justice groups and mental health professionals on the concept of intergenerational trauma is rooted in a shared goal of understanding and addressing the long-term effects of trauma on communities and individuals. This partnership is not about promoting theories as established facts without basis, but about integrating interdisciplinary insights to develop more comprehensive approaches to mental health care and societal well-being. The original research on the children of Holocaust survivors, and subsequent studies on other populations who have experienced profound collective traumas, highlight the importance of considering historical and social contexts in mental health. These studies have shown measurable psychological impacts across generations, suggesting that trauma can have far-reaching consequences beyond those directly affected. Social justice organizations are often at the forefront of identifying and addressing the systemic and historical injustices that contribute to ongoing trauma for marginalized communities. Their partnership with mental health professionals is a natural alignment of interests aimed at healing and empowerment. By combining their efforts, they can advocate for policies and practices that recognize the full scope of trauma's impact, promote resilience and recovery, and strive to prevent future traumas through social change. Recognizing intergenerational trauma is part of a broader acknowledgment within mental health care that individuals do not exist in a vacuum. Their well-being is influenced by a wide range of factors, including family history, community practices, and larger societal forces. By understanding the ways in which trauma can be transmitted across generations, mental health professionals and social justice advocates work together to address both the symptoms and the root causes of distress. This approach aims to support not just individual healing, but also community and societal well-being, reflecting a holistic understanding of health that includes social, historical, and cultural dimensions.
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
@@sullivanandassociates Originally, this theory spoke of direct descendants of holocaust survivors regarding trans generational trauma; how a parent surviving the holocaust might effect the children they raised later in life. Later the theory was widened to include multi generational ancestry. This happened about the same time Banks like Blackrock started giving companies an ESG rating depending on how woke and inclusive they were. Many of the ideas were not fact, and still have not been proven as fact even thought the theory has been around for over 65 years. These same woke ideas have led to men in women’s sports, totally robbing women of their right compete in sports. If you think about the idea of intergenerational trauma and how humans evolve it makes no sense. It serves no purpose to hold on to the trauma of our ancestors. In fact, there is evidence to the contrary. From an evolutionary standpoint, forgetting traumatic events can be beneficial for survival. Here's why: Focus on the present: Dwelling on past dangers can distract from immediate threats and hinder the ability to make sound decisions in the present moment. Emotional well-being: Traumatic memories are often associated with intense negative emotions. Evolutionarily, forgetting these memories can help conserve emotional energy and promote psychological well-being. Resource allocation: The brain requires significant resources to store and process memories. Forgetting trauma may free up resources for other important functions like learning and survival skills.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
The expansion of the concept of intergenerational trauma from specific groups, such as Holocaust survivors' descendants, to include broader multi-generational impacts reflects the evolving understanding of how trauma affects individuals and communities over time. While the original studies focused on direct descendants, subsequent research has identified patterns of trauma transmission that go beyond the immediate next generation, suggesting a more complex interplay of genetic, social, and environmental factors. Regarding the concerns about the evidence base for intergenerational trauma, it's important to distinguish between the measurable impacts of trauma across generations and the broader social and cultural debates around issues like inclusion and diversity in sports. The scientific inquiry into intergenerational trauma involves rigorous methods to understand the mechanisms by which trauma can be transmitted, including epigenetic research, psychological studies, and sociological analysis. These investigations aim to provide insights into how traumatic experiences can shape behaviors, health outcomes, and social dynamics across generations. The discussion about evolution and the forgetting of traumatic events raises important points about human adaptability and resilience. It's true that from an evolutionary perspective, the ability to move past trauma and focus on immediate survival needs can be advantageous. However, the human brain's capacity to remember and learn from past events, including traumatic ones, also plays a critical role in societal development and individual healing processes. Remembering trauma can help communities recognize and address systemic issues, support those who are struggling, and prevent future harm. The goal of understanding and addressing intergenerational trauma is not to fixate on past traumas at the expense of present well-being, but rather to acknowledge and heal from these traumas to build healthier, more resilient individuals and communities. Recognizing the long-term effects of trauma allows for more effective interventions and supports that address the root causes of distress and promote recovery and growth. In summary, the dialogue around intergenerational trauma, memory, and evolution underscores the complexity of human psychology and the need for nuanced approaches to mental health that consider both the individual and collective dimensions of trauma and recovery.
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
@@sullivanandassociates I would like to list the “epigenetic” studies you reference so that people can see what you place your beliefs on. Dutch famine studies: These studies examined the children and grandchildren of people who endured the Dutch Hunger Winter famine of 1944-45. Researchers found that those exposed to famine in the womb had altered methylation patterns in their DNA, potentially affecting gene expression. This epigenetic change was also observed in their grandchildren, suggesting it could be passed down through generations. Studies on offspring of trauma survivors: Research on children of Holocaust survivors and individuals with PTSD explored how parental trauma might influence offspring's stress response. They found epigenetic modifications in these offspring's genes related to stress hormones and emotional regulation. These changes could potentially explain why children of trauma survivors might be more susceptible to stress-related disorders. It's important to note that these studies establish correlations, not causations. While they identify epigenetic links between parental trauma and offspring health, they don't definitively prove that trauma itself caused the epigenetic changes.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
It seems there's a robust discussion about the role and impact of intergenerational trauma. If you're seeking to explore the scientific literature further, the Dutch famine studies and research on the children of trauma survivors indeed provide an intriguing look into possible epigenetic effects. These studies can be accessed through academic databases like PubMed or sometimes directly from the publishing journals. For more comprehensive insights, books and reviews on the subject may be available in libraries or online academic resources. Understanding the science of epigenetics and its potential link to trauma is complex and ongoing. Researchers are careful to distinguish between correlation and causation, and the field is continually evolving with new discoveries. It's crucial to approach these topics with an open mind and a critical eye, considering the entirety of the evidence and the methodologies used to gather it. If this topic is something you're deeply interested in, you might consider engaging with professional communities or academic circles that specialize in trauma research. This way, you can participate in conversations that are grounded in the latest scientific understandings and contribute to the dialogue with your insights.
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
Woke theory! This is a new theory meant to create a victim mindset in people who would otherwise grow stronger through adversity. These ideas came from the same groups who would have us believe a man can beat woman in sports as long as they call themselves women. The idea that an ancestors trauma could be past down generations later makes no sense. It serves no evolutionary purpose. From an evolutionary standpoint, forgetting traumatic events can be beneficial for survival. Here's why: Focus on the present: Dwelling on past dangers can distract from immediate threats and hinder the ability to make sound decisions in the present moment. Emotional well-being: Traumatic memories are often associated with intense negative emotions. Evolutionarily, forgetting these memories can help conserve emotional energy and promote psychological well-being. Resource allocation: The brain requires significant resources to store and process memories. Forgetting trauma may free up resources for other important functions like learning and survival skills.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
Addressing concerns about intergenerational trauma and its interpretations requires a nuanced understanding of both psychological concepts and social discourse. The concept of intergenerational trauma is rooted in decades of clinical research and observations, pointing to the transmission of trauma effects from one generation to another. This phenomenon has been observed in populations who have experienced significant historical traumas, such as war, genocide, enslavement, and displacement. The aim of recognizing intergenerational trauma isn't to foster a "victim mindset," but rather to understand the origins of certain behavioral patterns and psychological challenges faced by individuals and communities. This understanding is crucial for developing effective therapeutic interventions and supports that help people overcome the impacts of their ancestors' traumatic experiences, thus enabling healing and growth. The comparison to debates over gender identity and sports inclusion may reflect broader societal discussions around identity, rights, and recognition. It's important to differentiate between these discussions and the scientific study of trauma and its effects. Psychological science seeks to understand human behaviour and mental health to improve people's lives through informed treatment and social policies. Critiques of concepts like intergenerational trauma or discussions on gender identity should be grounded in a thorough understanding of the issues at hand. Open, respectful dialogue based on factual information encourages constructive discourse and contributes to societal progress. Recognizing the complexities of human experiences, including trauma and identity, enables us to build more compassionate and inclusive communities. Support for individuals dealing with trauma, irrespective of its origin, and respect for people's identities are key to addressing mental health issues and promoting well-being for all.
@TheToolBoxWhisperer5 ай бұрын
@@sullivanandassociates The key word is “concept”. People will be victims regardless of what I think. It frustrates me to see people needlessly convinced that they are victims based on who their ancestors were however I will say this “concept” is highly debated and only accepted by a small group of liberal socialist who benefit from controlling minorities and keeping them in a victim mindset, mental slavery if you will. Since you point to social policies as being a treatment for this “concept” I assume you fall into this category. At least you didn’t defend taking women’s rights away so we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. “Accept the things we can not change”, that would include how we are born into this world and who are ancestors are. I do think that in promoting this “concept” It creates an excuse to justify racism against those they view have victimized them. It will always be easier to blame someone than to face your own problems and you have now given people that opportunity. Thank you for taking time to reply!
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
Understanding and addressing the concerns raised about the concept of intergenerational trauma requires a dialogue that respects differing viewpoints while grounding the discussion in scientific research and empathetic understanding of human experiences. Intergenerational trauma is not proposed as a means to assign victim status or justify discrimination but as an explanatory framework for understanding how traumatic experiences can have lasting effects across generations. It is crucial to clarify that recognizing the enduring impact of trauma is not about perpetuating a victim mentality but about empowering individuals and communities to recognize and address these impacts constructively. The suggestion that acknowledging intergenerational trauma amounts to mental slavery or promotes racism is a misunderstanding of the intent and application of this concept. The goal is to foster resilience, healing, and understanding, not to create excuses for racism or to absolve individuals of responsibility for their actions or growth. The application of this concept in therapy, social policy, and community support is aimed at breaking cycles of trauma and enabling individuals to lead healthier, more fulfilling lives. Supporting people in understanding their histories, the trauma they or their ancestors have experienced, and its effects on their lives today is a part of a broader commitment to mental health and well-being. This support includes promoting resilience, providing therapeutic interventions that acknowledge past harms while focusing on present and future strengths, and developing social policies that address systemic inequities contributing to ongoing stress and trauma. It's also important to acknowledge that the fields of psychology and social science are vast, and concepts are continually debated and revised as new evidence emerges. Open, respectful, and informed discussion is essential for advancing our collective understanding and ensuring that we are all working towards a society that supports the well-being of every individual, regardless of their background or the challenges they face. Dialogue about these issues is vital, and differing viewpoints can enrich our understanding and approaches to addressing complex human experiences. However, it is equally important that such dialogue remains respectful, informed, and constructive, with the shared goal of improving mental health outcomes and fostering a society that recognizes and respects the dignity and worth of all its members.
@zurileon58015 ай бұрын
I feel it's important to mention that guilt can alsi stem from lack of action. I have suspicions my sister might be being assaulted, but i have no proof, and everyone to whom I've brought it up tells me it's just my trust issues. But she looks so horrible and it's eating me alive to not be able to help her.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
It's incredibly difficult to watch someone you care about suffer, especially when you feel unsure about how to help. Guilt stemming from perceived inaction is a heavy burden to carry. It's important to trust your instincts. If you believe your sister might be in danger or is experiencing harm, it's critical to approach the situation with sensitivity and care. Consider having an open, non-judgmental conversation with her, expressing your concerns and letting her know you're there for her, without pressuring her to open up before she's ready. Remember, support comes in many forms. Encouraging her to speak with a professional who can provide the right support and guidance could be a helpful step. There are also hotlines and organizations dedicated to helping individuals in abusive situations that can offer advice on how to proceed. Taking action, even if it's just gathering information or offering your support, can make a difference. It's also important to care for yourself during this time. Seeking support from a counselor or a support group can provide you with a space to process your feelings and learn how to best assist your sister. Remember, you're doing the best you can with the information and resources you have.
@Alex-ve8uq5 ай бұрын
I fly a lot for work, and I dread having to go through the airport, my anxiety going through the airport is crippling, i often just have to go into the bathroom and just sit there and calm down. Its terrible.
@sullivanandassociates5 ай бұрын
It sounds really tough dealing with that level of anxiety, @Alex-ve8uq. Airports can be overwhelming. Finding a quiet space, like a bathroom, to take a moment for yourself is a smart coping strategy. You might also try using headphones with calming music or an app with guided breathing exercises to help stay calm. Planning ahead can also reduce stress, like arriving early to avoid rushing or using airport services designed to assist travelers with anxiety. Remember, it's okay to ask for help if you need it, and consulting a therapist could provide additional strategies to manage your anxiety more effectively.
@A_J___5 ай бұрын
I have flown internationally and I can tell you in my experience, Americans really are different. At the airport, you can see how Americans are more vigilant and a little passive aggressive. I think you might want to consider wearing sunglass indoors to help you out. I know it is not a cure to the root of social anxiety, but I know wearing sunglasses outside FOR SURE HEAVILY REDUCES the amount of people that look at you on the sidewalk and reduces the amount of people that react to your presence. The sunglasses are like a reasonable socially acceptable barrier. Yes, wearing them indoors is not perfectly the same as outdoors, but I think it can help. Also, please start reciting 2nd Timothy 1:7 out loud. God tells us He didn't give us a spirit of fear. Anxiety is fear. Please also recite out loud Philippians 4:5-7. God also tells us when we feel fear, to pray about it, then THANK HIM when we are done praying.
@roycastanon57545 ай бұрын
Yeah I remember walking onto my first flight and everyone looked fuckin pissed. We were on our way to Hawaii 😂
@nathandevonport70646 ай бұрын
I just had a panic attack my arms were tingling and u was sweating I thought I was dying and deep breathing definitely worked.
@sullivanandassociates6 ай бұрын
Glad to hear deep breathing helped with your panic attack, @nathandevonport7064. Tingling arms and sweating are scary, but deep breathing can really help calm those intense symptoms. Your experience shows how helpful simple techniques can be.
@akonato99946 ай бұрын
they can accept the apology but not the things you did. It will still go back to the feeling of guilt....it's not that easy that is why Spiritual strength comes in and with the people to help you grow spirituality as well. And what if they don't accept your apology?
@flatsamiscool6 ай бұрын
I grew up in a religion where I was taught that my guilt needed to stay until I told my bishop and talked to God about it. I’m no longer part of that religion, but I had that drilled into me so much that I have no idea how to handle guilt and how to let it go without telling someone. Often telling someone would only cause problems that wouldn’t be necessary. Either that person wasn’t involved or I feel like I’d be bringing up things both of us would rather move on from. It’s confusing.
@sullivanandassociates6 ай бұрын
@flatsamiscool, navigating feelings of guilt without the framework of a religion you've moved away from can indeed feel confusing and overwhelming. The process you were accustomed to provided a clear path for resolving guilt, and without it, you might feel untethered. It's important to remember that guilt is a natural emotion, serving as a signal that we've acted against our values. Acknowledging your feelings internally and learning to forgive yourself are crucial steps toward healing. One method to cope without involving others unnecessarily is to write down your feelings. This can be a form of confession and release without burdening or involving others, especially if the matter is personal or resolved. Reflect on why you feel guilty, what you've learned, and how you can avoid similar situations in the future. This self-reflection can be a powerful tool for personal growth. Mindfulness practices can also help you sit with your feelings without judgment, acknowledging them as temporary states that do not define you. Over time, this can help reduce the intensity of guilt and teach you healthier ways to process it. If guilt persists and affects your well-being, seeking counseling can provide a confidential space to explore these feelings. A therapist can help you develop new strategies for coping with guilt and moving forward in a way that aligns with your current beliefs and values. Remember, it's okay to seek help and support as you navigate this journey.
@MonikaAdam-zl9ep6 ай бұрын
Communism too
@xenajade62646 ай бұрын
What if the guilt is because of real and huge mistakes. What if the judge says you are extremely guilty, there's no way out of it.
@MsCaterific6 ай бұрын
Some of us mental health sufferers feel like this about getting out of bed, or showering or brushing teeth. The struggle is real. So with your analysis with when exercise can be really be bad for our mental health, wouldn't this be true for any simple task that overwhelms us? #HardKnockLifeForUs
@Yachtclub56 ай бұрын
I can't shake the guilt I feel about losing a 16 year old dog that walked into the road. I can't find the "goal of my guilt".
@Hinaamir12336 ай бұрын
I feel guilty because I lost a lot of things from my past life just because of other people advice . When I was going through that phase of life i was in extreme pain for some reason . I hurt myself and other people a lot .I dont have my own opinion over anything .I feel ashamed of it😢..This iss the same reason I lost the love of my life . Now I alone and guilty at same time .