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I guess I don't understand How you find these agencies? Do you have to ask your county foster agency for ones they work with or can you just look online at public agencies. The one's ive searched online their fees are in the $15,000+ range. I live in ohio.

I've been looking into adoption. I want to adopt a waiting child, but it would be a few years off. I'm finishing a college course in medical billing and coding so I can become more financially stable than I am currently. I would also like to work in the feild for a little bit so i can get to the point of being able to buy a house instead of renting. I'm looking for any resources that can help in the time being so I can be as ready as possible when the time comes especially since I would most likely be adopting as a single parent.

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Thank you for making this video. Im going to be working with teens in fostercare, and the information you provided gave me a glimpse of some behaviors I may encounter.

Action Adoptions doesn't seem to exist anymore. I found two boys in the online adoption profiles that I believe I am distantly related to and very much want to adopt them. The agencies that I have checked so far seem to take 6 months or more to complete the home study process. If there is way to reduce that time I should be taking it. Do you know of any agencies in Ohio that can complete the process in 2 or 3 months like yours was able to do?

I didn't have siblings, but was parentified and was practically taking care of myself at 12 when I was put into foster care. The big issue I saw with especially newbie foster parents who didn't have bio kids was they were desperate to be parents and didn't want the type of independence I was used to. I could do things for myself, and they wanted to treat me like I felt was a baby. Maybe with siblings there's doing too much that takes away "being a kid" but the problem with parentified kids like me who essentially were able to do things that foster parents thought were "parent roles" is that it takes away that independence. I felt it was just plain weird for some stranger to wash my underwear and I never wanted foster parents to wash my clothes. With access to a washer and dryer, I didn't think there was any need for my foster mom to do my laundry. I was used to going out and going to the store or the library when I wanted. I practically lived at the library since there was a/c there and I couldn't understand why I couldn't just walk to the library if I was bored and wanted to go do something. At my longer term placement when I was 12-13, the foster mom wanted to hold my hand when I crossed the street. It was weird. I think that type of wanting to be a mom is a bigger factor in why parentified kids are treated like they are since it's people who want to be parents and they see this kid not doing what they want and some times being more mature when they hear about how so many foster/adopted kids act younger and they frequently want that since they want those parenting experiences.

Our home study is this month. Is the group for people who haven’t adopted yet?

✨Join Adopt Together today!✨ www.adoptinformed.com/community

I would like to adopt a girl with out paying a fee like fill out a adoption paperwork

Night owl here! 😊Thank you for your video. Do you or anyone you know also do consults with people that would like to become foster parents? I am in Ontario Canada

Do you have any advice for parents who want to adopt a waiting child from foster care with no prior experience fostering or with their own children? My husband and I would like to adopt a waiting child, he’s a boy, age 12 and has been in foster care for over five years. We have started the classes but each person we talk to has told us our chances of adopting are slim to none because we haven’t previously had our own children or fostered previously. We’ve been told our best bet would be to foster and if the child’s parents rights are terminated to adopted but that isn’t exactly how we want to go about it.

my grandson finally found me on fb, my daughter- his mother had put him & his sister up for adoption, he was 3, she was 1. i couldnt imigine, just coming to know mommy, daddy, and knowing your name then, mommy isnt mommy any more mommy looks diffrent, daddy looks diffrent, and then being stripped of youre own 1st name, and given the name wilbur....im glad hes found me, since his birth mom, my daughter took her own life- alot of the despair was making that selfless decission for the kids future. so complicated.

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Thank you so much! You are a wealth of information. I am almost finished Foster care program. Would you consider that they are both the same. If not what do you think is different. Keep the post coming - love yoro honesty.

I am very nervous to tell my parents we are wanting to adopt teens from the foster system. My husband and I know that this is what God is calling us to do. Up until recently, my husband was not very into the idea of adopting. I’ve always wanted a large family and I’ve always known I wanted to adopt older children/ teens in need. Before we got married my husband said he would eventually like to adopt but only small children/babies because of a lot of the reasons people typically say. I thought “not what I feel led to, but this is definitely the man I feel God has led me to marry and I can pray that God will change one of our hearts and we can have more conversations about it.” Well when we had our first biological child, not only was my husband a little less sure about adoption all together, but I had some complications with my heart during labor which lead to me connecting some dots and figuring out I’d been going into something called SVT pretty often throughout my entire life but just thought I was a hypochondriac/ out of shape. Both my obstetrician and cardiologist said that it would be fine for me to keep having babies, and my husband and I both still wanted to have at least one more. Well during my second pregnancy, my heart was acting up constantly and I had problems with my thyroid leading to it being a high risk pregnancy. I was placed on medication for both issues and monitored very well by my doctors. But my husband pretty much told me that he never wanted to intentionally get me pregnant again because my heart problems scared him so bad, even though both of my doctors think it will be okay for me to have more. I understand where he’s coming from and honestly I don’t want any more babies either. But back to adoption. He still had the mindset of maybe possibly within the next 20 years. He wanted our kids to be older. And he still only wanted to even consider children under 5. But even saying that, he was skeptical and on the fence about adopting at all. Our babies are 1 and 3 now and for some reason lately I’ve been really feeling like another child is missing. At first it came in the form of just being a little disappointed that I hadn’t accidentally gotten pregnancy every month when my period came but I knew that that was honestly just biology talking. I definitely do NOT want anymore babies. And then my mind just started turning to adoption. A lot. I felt like God was trying to get my attention and I felt like everywhere I looked I was seeing something about children in foster care. I didn’t want to bring it up to my husband because i knew he didn’t think we were at the right time in life for it and I didn’t want to push it and make him have more distaste for it. But I kept praying that if this was really something God was calling me to the way I felt he had been my entire life that he would make that clear to my husband. Well on 4th of July my parents kept our two sons so we could have a date night and we went and saw the movie The Story of Possum Trot. I’ll be honest, I wanted to see it but it was also really just the only thing playing that looked any good. I really think if there had been something else we’d have both enjoyed we would have seen something different. For anyone who doesn’t know it’s a movie about the true story of Possum Trot, Texas where a small community adopted 77 kids from the foster system. When we left the theater I just didn’t even say anything about it and started talking about other things cause I wasn’t trying to push anything with going to that movie and didn’t want my husband to think I was but 15 minutes into our drive home (we live a ways away) he goes, “So I guess we need to address the elephant in the room.” I immediately got such a big grin on my face like “oh. There’s an elephant?” And we talked about what the reality of adopting would look like right now, especially with having a 1 and 3 year old and decided to give it a few days of thinking and praying and talking and let the emotions of watching a movie like that dissipate so we could think rationally and eventually my husband was like “yeah. I think we’re supposed to adopt and I think it’s now.” And then he had to think more on age and was like “yeah. I think 10 and up.” We know his family is going to be like “I think y’all are crazy but y’all are gonna be great at it,” and we have told his mom but no one else yet and she reacted pretty much exactly like that. My family, though, have never supported me in anything, actually. Or at least they did, but very begrudgingly. Like getting married. Or pursuing writing. Or having children while still in college(not in college anymore) And all of their objections have been very cultural fears that have had nothing to do with whether or not I was making the right decision for myself. I am positive that they will initially react by bringing up all the same cultural fears and horror stories everyone does when they have reservations about adoption. And I already have answers prepared. But I am so worried that even after we give them all the facts and explain that this is something God is definitely calling us to do that they will just refuse to support us at all. And my husband’s family lives 3 hours away right now. Pray for us

Reading morning routine

i'm so grateful for your words of wisdom and encouragement <3

My kids are 4 and 5.😂😂❤ this Sarah can you make a video of your kid's mattresses

Hi my name is Sarah I am Joe's wife I am a foster mom I want to get rid of the toddler beds I am thinking about doing bunk beds would you recommend it the youngest is slightly artistic and ADHD and sometimes wets the bed what would you recommend for a mattress pad or cover to protect the mattress

Great Convo Katie, I was never in the sys however after my parents divorced when I was 12, my mom worked alot and was gone. I took on the parental role for my kid sister who was 7. I'll admit it wasn't until I was an adult and went to therapy I realized I had a lot of bitterness about that as I felt like I became an adult & a parent at 12. This has lead me to be very delayed in my desire to have & parent my own children. Now at 38 I know I'm ready to move forward with adoption as I went to therapy and took my counselors advice to spend the next several years doing things I wasn't able to as a kid. So I know how detrimental this can be to a child acting as a parent.

I don't know if I'm being stupid but I can't find the emotions chart link in the description. Can you help?! Thanks

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When I was 6, my mom started to lose her battle with schizophrenia and the demons started taking over more and more of her life so I had to care for myself. By the time I was 8, I was the one shopping for groceries with the EBT card most of the time and fixing whatever I could for dinner. By the time I was 12, taking care of myself was normal. Then, I went into foster care. I think one of the problem with many foster parents is they have idealized expectations of being parents and what that look like, and how they want everything to be, and there's got to be compromises when dealing with someone who is essentially used to having far more control over their life. I thought it was awesome to have the freedom to do what I wanted. I was proud of what I could do. There's a Japanese tv series where 3-4 year olds are sent to the store to buy something and camera crew follows them around. This is entirely normal in Japan. Yet, I had foster parents who didn't think at 14 I should go to the store alone. I really wasn't until I turned 18 that I really felt I like I was able to get back to the way I was when I was 12.

We need help/ advice on how to do this adoption thing.

we adopted two siblings girls ,they have been 1 year with us ,and today the oldest one asked us to return to the social shelter ...saying she is not happy because she thinks that she doesnt have the same attention as the biological one .i have one bio daughter9 years old and the adopted siblings are 8and 10 years old .I dont know what to say ???help me please kisses from BRAZIL

What is the cost of the group?

✨Join the Adopt Together Community wait list! ✨ adoptinformed.ck.page/19263492aa

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Great information, thank you for sharing! It's 1am when I finished this video (and probably on to your part two after the comment) so I would say I'm a night owl.

public sectoer agencey suck

20k to 50k

wish there was a diffret agencey in town

dont know if it is our homestody or our questionare

i think the case worker are over worked and i think some are too pickey

the agency we use sucks and it us the only one in my area

my wife and i have tried to find a kid for 5 yeras we have ne told no so many time

Hello, hi, we don’t say “severe autism”, we say “lower masking autism”.

Excellent content. Thank you. How would you help the angry introvert?

My trauma response as a kid was none of these. I had a lot of control-seeking behaviors where I was constantly trying to create & maintain a sense of order in my world. This was sometimes mistaken for people pleasing, when I really didn’t care about who liked/benefited from my behaviors…they were purely for my own sanity. I became borderline OCD taking it upon myself to wake up early & scrub the kitchen, make sun tea, color-code my closet, etc. I didn’t become a little Cinderella because I cared if it pleased others. I did it because I absolutely hated how dirty my home was & how disorganized my family was. Sometimes, what may seem like people-pleasing might be a different trauma response than what’s on the surface

If the self-soothing and repetitive behaviors do not stop, the child may be on the autism spectrum, or may have ADHD, etc. which isn't a disease and isn't behavior that should be discouraged under those circumstances, given the medical explanation, nor will they will outrgow it at any point in their lives. They're also very common diagnoses. I'm no less autistic as an adult than I was as a child. Many of the symptoms you referenced can be signs of distress, but can also be signs that a child is simply autistic or highly sensitive, and these are lifelong things that are separate from situational trauma, OR may be greatly interrelated. Autistic children may also have more noticeable or heightened symptoms under stress and trauma. But their diagnosis itself - a part of the child's core identity - isn't the problem. In summary, it's all very complex. It highlights the need to analyze each child as a unique individual with unique strengths and challenges. It's important to work on coping mechanisms and learning how to live and feel fulfilled in the world despite our conditions and the wide variability in strengths and challenges among individuals. Good video and thank you for the insight!

I want adobt pleas I need children

Fawn/Friend response is sometimes also called "people pleasing". I found this in myself in therapy (and brought it to light). My adopted daughter would show show anger and aggression as her primary defense while I would bend over backwards as a way to de-escalate the aggressor and keep myself safe. Glad I discovered it and healed it.

Thank you for this awesome video, I waited the whole week for a new video, I met your channel Sunday, and already watched a lot, thank you for recording this kinda content ❤

Thank you, Katie we're trying to learn as much about trauma as we can. Ironically this has not been covered in any training/book thus far. I so appreciate examples of how you respond because I'd be at a loss.

I am not an adopter, but I have PTSD and just realized how much I use the fawn response in my daily life. Thank you for your insight!

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Super video!!! I have a fawner here and it is hard to know how to respond. So I appreciate you sharing practically how you respond. Thank you!