I'm a big fan of romance, but I almost never crush on people and I have no particular desire to date anyone, so whilst I'm actively disinterested in the idea of sex, I see romance as "it would be a nice idea, but..."

I'm an aroace who's relatively recently fallen in love, so I just wanted to share how I identify. I used to strongly identify with cupioromantic, but now I know I'm definitely demiromantic and I know it were those cupioromantic feelings that drove me to open myself up enough to be able to find love. I also identify with aroflux because while sometimes I can't wait to start my forever with my significant other, other times I still feel more aromantic, thoughts coming to my head about how I don't need anyone and would be perfectly happy being single forever (whoops, too late for that). These aro thoughts have NOTHING to do with my partner and everything to do my aromantic self. (feel free to ask questions :) )

Everything is so weird. Like, I have liked people and wanted to get to know them, but being perceived as their girlfriend or being openly romantic (holding hands in public and such) makes me REALLY uncomfortable. I don't get how people get into official relationships after three months of knowing each other, I feel like I need so much more time to truly know the person and be comfortable making it more official. Saying I love you in a romantic way too is something that takes me a lot of time to say.

Thank you so, so much for including aegoromantic on this list. As an aegosexual, the representation truly does mean a lot

I never knew there's a term for something that I usually feel towards meeting new people. That giddiness and excitement I feel, like everything is so interesting about that person, it's intense and often leaves me confused but over time it just settles and I don't feel anything romantic anymore. I always thought that's just how meeting new friends work 😆

Never really thought about romantic attraction seriously, i don't think I have felt romantic attraction before, but I'm kinda scared to identify as aro now, I know that labels can change and people can change, but sometimes it's still scary to say that I'm a certain label or not. So, for the time being, I'll vibe here for now hahaha

Shame popular media only shoves the basic expression of love down our throats. I'm too grown to be this confused about myself

This "irregular" makes me realise i'm probably aro because i fell in love very often but now I can't feel any attraction towards anyone and I just can't imagine being in a real romantic relationship even if I want to. Update: I guess i'm a mix of abroromantic and aegoromantic but I prefer just using the label arospec

I honestly love being aroace, it’s such an adventure finding new things about myself and the way I feel about someone with every relationship I pursue or end up in and also just being single and thriving perfectly well on my own! I’m sure most people of all romantic attractions and sexualities can say that but we don’t hear it often enough about ourselves so I’m saying it👏

Up until a few days ago, I didn't know what aromantic was. When people said they were aroace, i thought it just meant the same thing as asexual. But when a few days ago i finally learned that aromantic existed, I've not been able to stop thinking about it. It fits me and the way i feel perfectly, but I'm also kind of scared by it. Up until now, I just assumed i was straight and hadn't found the right person, but learning about aromantics has put my head in a twist. The entire way I viewed myself has been thrown out the window, and now I'm not sure what I am. The idea of aromantic really appeals to me, and I don't feel so weird and strange now that I've finally got a label for what I feel. Yet I'm scared that I might just be overreacting, and maybe I just haven't found the right person. I don't want to get my identity wrong. Come out to everybody, then a few years down the line, realise I'm actually something else. Coming out is also something I'm scared of. Most of my family is really supportive of the LGBTQA+ (really sorry if I've missed any of the letters) movement and the people who identify as a part of it. But my brother is different. He often expresses ideas that are honestly very homophobic. No one in my family likes to think of it or call it that because we obviously don't want him to have those ideas, but in the end, it is homophobia. So far, he hasn't expressed any transphobic, biphobic and any other anti LGBTQA+ views. But I am scared that might just be because we don't really talk about those things, and he might hate me and my new potential orientation. And as much as we argue (like all brothers do), I really don't want to ruin my relationship with him or make him upset/uncomfortable. I don't know what to do or how to feel. But channels like yours, the click, and jammidoger have been a real help over the last few days. So thank you so much for that. ❤️❤️

Have you heard of the term Demi-RoSe? Similar to the word aroace, demirose describes people like me who are both demiromantic and demisexual ^^💕🏳️‍🌈

Thank you for this list. I think I can identify myself as asexual-aromantic.

Wow this was so informative. I thought I was aromantic and bi-demisexual, but after much thought and consideration I decided I'm actually a demiromantic and demisexual lesbian. :)

thank you for including grayromantic!! i am grayromantic and it honestly perfectly describes me. ive only ever felt romantic feelings towards two people, and sometimes i feel like i dont want a relationship, while other times i desperately want one. i wish it was represented more, and im glad its getting some recognition ^^

I’ve only just recently begun questioning if I fall on the aromantic spectrum after solely sticking with the lesbian label for years now. As someone who has been in a relationship for over 2 years, I always feel shitty when at times I just don’t want to participate in romance like kissing, emotional closeness, holding hands, and the general idea of being in a relationship. Other times I am all for it. I’m scared to come out with this label (questioning if I’m aroflux) because I’m not sure how it will affect my relationship, or if it truly what I’m feeling. Sexuality is confusing :(

5:40 thank you so much for including Abroromanic, I am both Abrosexual and Abroromantic (I just go by Abrosexual) so my sexual AND romantic attraction changes a lot and you described it perfectly, thank you for talking about a less known sexuality which is very much real and very much valid ❤️ (all of these are valid too!)

Oriented Aroace: Someone who's fully aroace, yet experiences another tertiary attraction that is prominent enough to identify with/bring up. For example, queer/quasioplatonic attraction and emotional attraction (there's more, but that's just two!) There's other attractions than just romantic and sexual; keep that in mind!!!!!

I am an Aroflux and I feel loved for being described. And you are absolutely right. I started off feeling like I was demiromantic but kept going back and forth between demiromantic and aromantic. And then found out about aroflux and now I am finally comfortable with who I am

I am nowhere on this spectrum, and I still have a lot to learn. Thank you for another informative video! (Oh, and I have mama-love for everyone here!) 🙏❤🏳‍🌈🏳‍⚧🎉

Thank you so much for this video 💕💕💕The aromantic spectrum is not as known as the asexual. I've really struggled with my identity for a long while...

As an allo person, I really appreciate this breakdown of terms! I find that learning more about aro/ace identities is really helpful in opening myself up to introspection about what I like and don't like or need/don't need, rather than trying to conform to the status quo. Thank you for this!

*Apothiromantic* is someone who gets uncomfortable/disgusted by the thought or feelings or gestures(directed at the person in question)of romance

Aegoromantic sounds just like me. Also the classic aroace. Bellusromantic as well. Cupioromantic ? Lithromantic ? Cool!

I've just stumbled across the terms "Aromantic" and "Asexual" a few weeks ago. And it got me thinking because it really explains how i feel. But theb I started remembering that I have a dating history. I began to doubt "Am I really this or am I just making this up?". Because all my life I have never had a crush/or someone i chase romantically/sexually. And my closest are always asking "Do you have a crush? Or a boyfriend?" And I just felt awkward at that point. It didn't help that my friends are coming to me for love advice on their crush/boyfriend/girlfriend while I can't relate about what they are feeling. But this really help me understand more about what the spectrum/label really is. So thank you for the Aro Dictionary

I was not expecting to identify with several categories at the same time

i’m definitely cupioromantic and, to me (so, subjectively), it SUCKS because i long for that wonderful relationship even though i know it will never ever come. i’ve been in a relationship in the past where i didn’t really feel too much romantic attraction in it, but i didn’t care cause i wanted a relationship so bad. i broke up with them and explained my abstract feelings and everything turned out fine lol. i genuinely wish i could hug and kiss someone and know how much i love them in the back of my mind, but alas, that will never come.

I saw the abro flag and my heart started dancing around lol Thank you

Thank you for Cupioromatic. Explains my spectrum so much better. Still trying to understand my Asexuality. Thank you for this great channel!

i feel like i need to have "typical" romantic relationships described, i see it referenced a lot in definitons along the lines of "they do but like, not in the typical way" which is hard to think of without having a baseline for a typical attraction

thank you for this little aro-dictionary video 🤣🤧 ngl i’m still trying to figure out if i could be on the aro side too [ i know im asexual] but i honestly don’t even know if i would like to be romantic or if i feel a romantic attraction yet, like sometimes i’ll be like i wanna hug this person or whatever; i’ve never dated or really tried to date, it’s just hard to find someone in this day and age. especially since i never want to use dating apps they creep me out personally 😭 the thought of being romantic with someone does kinda of creep me out and makes me uncomfortable,, and then there are times when i wish i had something romantic happening in my life which maybe i could be aroflux ,, but looking at this list there are some that i kinda clicked with but im in no rush i also just love learning about all the other different people on this spectrum 🤧 we all deserve to feel love in whatever way we feel we need to be,, i hope everyone finds that 🖤

I love this video!! I'm an aromantic lesbian and it took me YEARS to even know what being aromantic was.

Thank you so much for this video! Personally, I am a non-SAM aro (non Split Attraction Model) meaning I do not use the split attraction model to describe my sexual orientation. I do not find the terms allosexual or asexual to be able to accurately or comfortably describe me and my attraction. I identity as just aromantic.

I've been strugling for 1,5 years with labeling my romantic experiences and in this video i found 5 (!) labels for myself which i guess make me just fall on the whole spectrum and I should just stop caring lol

I had a difficult time with the first half of the video since I felt all of those sexuality’s at one point until you got to aroflux and it made more sense. I always knew I was on the arospec but I just couldn’t make since of which one i was…now I’m aware that I’m aroflux and aceflux! Ty💛

I was so confuse about myself but this vid make me discover that I Am allo/Aro.Ty so much :D

Thanks so much for this video, very helpful and I just absolutely love spreading the platonic love for the aros. I identify as allosexual aromantic, but I had a rough time coming to terms with it bc of amatonormativity. Personally, I sometimes relate to the term Quoiromantic, as I sometimes get squishes, like the really strong feeling of wanting to know someone better as a person bc they're just so cool, but I get so wound up in my excitement for that platonic attraction that I mistake my feelings for romantic love, then get so confused I bang my head into a wall before deciding I'm probably not in love. Then I question about whether I even know the difference between platonic and romantic love, but how would I know if I never experienced it to begin with??? And how would I know even if I had? It can be so hard to put your feelings for another person into a box: sometimes you want to do romantic gestures for a friend without wanting to date them. Sometimes you want someone to be your sole companion for life, but without the added romantic affection, gestures or expectations. And defining those feelings can be quite difficult. Also I just love the chaos of "WTFromantic" where you're questioning so hard it just becomes its own identity. I don't really use that identity though because much prefer Aro or Arospec. Ultimately, even if I get confused and doubt myself at times, it happens so rarely that I would still be grey romantic at least- I doubt I'll ever relate to the experience of an alloromantic. I think it's because I'm allosexual, so occasionally when I get a squish on someone I'm also sexually attracted to, I start thinking "is this love?" ... But typically, the answer is no, we get closer then I realise I get repulsed at the thought of basically anyone having feelings for me and having to reciprocate them and that's it IG.

I always love seeing a bunch of aros in the same place lol

Thank you for explaining all of these! Although I'm still a tiny bit confused but i feel like i relate to the most with frayromantic, aegoromantic, and bellusromantic. ive always felt the idea of romantic relationships was weird to me and i always rejected the idea. although, i have had small crushes but i never knew if they were just strong feelings of admiration. i always thought i was straight with extremely high standards since ive rarely liked someone romantically.

Hey! Thank you for this video :) I would be interested in the topic masturbation, self sex and being in the asexual and/ or aromantic spectrum... maybe this could be a future video?

I‘ve known that I’m aroace for a while now and while I’ve known how I identify on the ace spec, the aro spec has been so complicated. When you described bellusromantic I felt like I looked into a mirror! I never heard of that before, I got so excited!

I’m asexual and frayromantic and frayromantic usually gets left out and lumped in with cupioromantic/lithromantic so it was really nice to see it being separated; as it is it’s own thing and has its differences. I used to think I was lithromantic because it was always the first thing that would show up when I did research on the aromantic spectrum. It means a lot that it gets represented in this video and hopefully if someone relates and chooses to use that label they would find it (unlike how long it took me.) People along with calling me a late bloomer would also call me indecisive and it also meant a lot to be validated in this video. This is a great video overall and I really appreciate it as do so many others!

i had the idea that cupioromantic was when you stongly desire a relatationship but when someone likes you, you lose all interest. Ive seen a lot of people identify with that definition. thank you for your definition. its helping me figure out where i may fall.

Ah yes! I am loveless aroace. I am practically braindead when it comes to love and relationships.

I've recently written down all of the "crushes" i've ever had and it turned out only one of them was alterous/queerplatonic and others were pure aesthetic attraction or/and comphet. I think i may be an aroace lesbian then, but i'm still a teen so i don't know

I relate to different aro identities. These are lithromantic frayromantic and cupioromantic. On some days i relate to being frayromantic, on others to being lithromantic, on most days i relate to being cupioromantic. Would this mean i might be aroflux?

I got an ad for bumble at the beginning of this😭

I'm loveless aromantic, and I'm so happy it was included!!

I didn’t know about aegoromantic beforehand, but when I read it, it just clicked. Thank you for helping me figure myself out

I have been waiting for a video like this for so long!! Tysm!

Loveless aro for me

Thank you for helping me find an identity I feel comfortable with : )

Lately I haven’t been able to stop myself from believing the bs society says like “if you’re not in a relationship you’re missing out” etc it’s made me very depressed even though I know there’s more to life. I just can’t get it out of my head. I might very well be demiromantic but do want a relationship at some point. but it feels like absolutely no one is willing to wait for me to eventually develop those feelings. I truly do not understand how people enter relationships after knowing each other for only a few weeks

im cupio thanks for including us in this video!! i really appreciate it

As a aroallo it’s exciting to see this video🤞🤞

I never knew aro ace was an umbrella term for so many other specific identities. I was confused before because I didn’t think I fell directly under aroace but I also knew I didn’t experience romantic attraction like other people. I’m still figuring it out. Thank you for the helpful information!

This was very well explained! And I learned something new that might help me in figuring out the aromantic part of myself. Thank you!

Thanks for the video, as acespec myself I know a good amount about ace identities, but I haven't looked much into arospec ones

the only comfortable relationships i had were my online ones, when i didn't have to hold hands or kiss and do coupley things, i could merely just share my affection from a distance, every in-person relationship i had made me feel really uncomfy... now things are starting to make sense, i identfied as panromantic and ace, but now i am realizing i identified that way b/c i felt the same way about all genders, now i am kind of realizing i might be romantically attracted to none not all, i still feel aesthetic attraction, but i realize i see people like beautiful art, not like someone i would date- if that makes sense, anyone else on the same boat?

Tysm for this video! I've known that I'm on the aromantic spectrum somehwere for a while and recently found the term lithromantic, which I identified with slightly but never came out bc I was never completely sure. When you described the identity arospike, you literally described exactly what I feel like. Now I know where I am on the spectrum! Thank you!

Enjoyed this video pretty informative would love a video on debunking aro myths

cupioromantic! yes! that fits so well, thank you for this video

I'm finally realising I'm aroace. This video was really helpful to situate me on what i'm feeling (or I'm not, if you get me)

Just discovered this channel, it's so helpful, I've been looking for an aroace channel for a while to know more about myself or make sense of being aromantic *being asexual was way easier to figure out for me*, nevertheless i loved the space and comfort these videos have given me definitely my new fav channel 💟

It took me so long to figure myself out and now I always say what I feel I am. Someone commented on a comment I made on an Asexual tik Tok compilation vid, saying I was Aro. This vid clarified a lot for me, and I'm glad there's someone out there bringing this to the attention of others and clarifying this stuff cause it is confusing.

I did not notice the n in aromantic and I was going around the internet saying I'm "aromatic", bruh. I'm aroace though now I heard about it.

Btw I watched this video a few weeks ago and am coming back to comment as I was on my TV. That's pretty cool, good representation as it's quite hard find resources and it can be a complex thing to identify yourself as aro. I've been in this process, where I'm still not totally sure, as it's easily invalidated especially as I was in a relationship for many years and am sexual, but the aro segment is the one scenario I don't feel the pressure of having to bother or worry about doing life wrong for not considering romance in my life.

I'm bi aroace flux and it's so good to finally understand myself. Thank you for the video

Heyyy, so Im bi-oriented grey-ace and I used to think I was aromantic until I developed 😨a crush😨 and now I think I might be arospike bc even though Ive experienced this crush Im still not 100% sure that its actually romantic, and I do feel a strong connection to aromanticism. So the way arospike feels for me is that for the most part I just like the idea of romantic relationships and activities but not so much that I would pursue a romantic partner. And then sometimes (so far Ive only experienced two spikes in my life, one last year and another this year - I’m 15 btw) I get a strong yearning for a romantic relationship/partner that as far as I can tell is an increase in romantic attraction pushing that romantic desire over the edge, and then after +/- a week I feel in some way aromantic again. Hope this helps anyone who’s figuring out their orientation, and remember that regardless of how you identify you are all ✨ _valid_ ✨ Edit: although I still resonate with aroflux and also cupioromantic, for now I’m happy using aromantic/arospec rather than finding a more specific label

Appreciate this video. As a deeply romantic demi person the aro side of things has long deeply confounded me, although I just took it to mean they see romance kind of like I see sex although I still struggled, heh. Not feeling it *at all*? But these variants that don't have much visibility at all really help.

These few months I've realized I'm lithromantic and aegosexual, it feels so nice to know there's terms to describe how I feel towards relationships. I have no desire to date or pursue romantic relationships, I don't want my attraction to be reciprocated. Romance "in-theory" like in fiction is nice but I'm really repulsed by real life romance. I feel grateful that this aro-ace spectrum exists and there's plenty others that might experience what I feel❤️

Cupioromantic passes me the best, but I’ll probably stick to just aromantic 😅

Just recently figured out I'm aegosexual and this video helped me figure out I'm aroflux

Proud to be aroflux asexual and abroromantic 💚 Thank you for the video!

Love!

I identify myself as arospike, because when I really like a person in a non romantic way, I start to feel only flashes of romantic attraction. I was in a qpr and really felt romantic attraction in few hours and never felt it anymore. I'm a really loving person with everyone in my life that I'm close with, and I experience platonic attraction too often. love the video

thanks to you, i figured out that i'm, in fact, not a grace, but an aegosexual.

I relate to both frayromantic and cupioromantic, so I don’t really know what I am anymore…

thank you for this, i saw a tiktok recently about being aromantic and I'm trying to figure out if it applies to me or not. i have a feeling i'm aegoromantic but still not 100% sure. will keep looking around but thank you.

Thank you I learned a lot from this video and I guess I would describe myself as neuroromantic, as I also have ADHD.

As an orchidromantic, this means a lot. I used to stick with the aro label, then cupioromantic, but eventually I figured out what I am. It's not everyday you see someone pulling out and aro-dictionary. :]

I had literally never heard of bellusromantic before but it describes very well what I experience. Although sometimes I feel it's more towards cupioromantic as well. In the end I concluded for myself I like the idea of the intimacy, but I don't necessarily want romantic feelings

I knew that I wasn't exactly Aromantic, that I was on the aromantic spectrum because I LOVEEE Romance novels and shows, ESPECIALLY HEARTSTOPPER

and 7 years after learning I am aroace and the various aspects of ace space, not only did I now learn about arospace, but I also learned I am aegoromantic and aegorsexual :O

I’ve been suspicious of being in the aroace spectrum since 2019. At first, I thought I was fully aroace, but now… I think I’m grey aroace. I read that some people call it something like «grey rose»? I’m not so sure. Still need to get informed on it, but it’s sort of a relief to finally understand what is going on with me and why I always felt like my forms of loving were so different and not intense in comparison to others’.

I've only recently started exploring the possibility of being on the aromantic spectrum (I'm turning 40 very soon). It never occurred to me before, because I've never lacked the desire for a romantic relationship - just seemed to lack the capability. After a bit of searching, reading the different descriptors, I've found two labels that I mostly seem to fit within; aegoromantic and grayromantic. Because I seem to have no issue feeling romantic emotions for fictional expressions of romance (like shipping, I get madly caught up in shipping), but outside of that fictional bubble it's like the romantic switch in me is primarily off. It's not so much a lack of desire for romance, more a near-inability to feel it out in the real world with real people. And I used to think I was just damaged, that this was a result of my experiences with social rejection and bullying growing up, or that maybe my relationship with romance had gotten warped from viewing it through this fictional lense and getting very little real experience to compare it with. It's only recently that I've started considering that maybe this has just always been a part of me, because no matter how much I have healed from everything else from my past, I still have a big disconnect with real life romantic attraction. Like I have no issues with platonically bonding with people, I have real good friendships. But I can pinpoint two exact times in my entire life where I've actually felt romantic attraction, the rest of the time there's been no inkling, no spark, no crush. Just this void of romantic emotions outside of that fictional bubble.

Thank you :), beacuse of you i found the label that’s describes me, Bellusromantic

as an abroromantic, I just thought I didn't know what I was until I found out about abroromanticism

I'm quoiromantic (also called WTFromantic) because my brain cannot comprehend the difference platonic and romantic attraction (very easily at least hah, I've only had one confirmed crush). I am also slightly romance repulsed. AKA I am in constant denial :)

This helps ty

Thanks so much! I'm aroace lol I might look into bellusromantic though-

Hey! I actually relate to "Souless Ghoul" Especially when it comes to love in any form. I'm as braindead as a zombie.

Im arospike, aegroromantic and aroflux! I’ve known for quite a while

As someone who is pan (and somewhere on the aro ace spectrum) in the Demi or Frayromantic question stage lol 😂 Edit:Cupid or bellusromantic too

This was a very interesting video. What I have been wondering is how being aromantic can display differently for fictional characters. (I have only ever fallen in love with fictional characters and have never been romantically attracted to a real life person.)

the best decision of my life was to buy a house far in the outskirts of the world. chronic big city dwelling really distance us from meaning.

We have the prettiest flags 🥺🥺🥺

thank you so much for this. i think im arospec but does anyone know how to like not hate myself for it?

I'm greyromantic 😊

I realised this label fits me after someone was talking about tinder

I will state this video was very informative for me and had a better understanding of alloromantic and aromantic identities. Out of all of these I would be either arospike or neuroromantic since my neurodivergency and in some essence trauma of my past caused me to have an estranged romantic identity. Mainly, I can easily develop very genuine deep intimate bonds with people with and without romantic desire very easily and with multiple partners. Mainly that my sex drive is deviated from my romantic desire. I am very romantic positive but being that I innately develop queer intimate partnerships and can completely exclude romantic attraction easily though desire sensually the feel of touch and kissing and other actions usually associated with romance. To me most kissing is affection and not necessarily romance.