Lecture given by Dr Ellis in 1991, Albert Ellis Institute Also see: How to be a perfect non-perfectionist • How to be a perfect no...
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@sartainja7 жыл бұрын
So, we must give up the 3 following musts: 1. I must do well 2. You must treat me well 3. And the world must be easy.
@vladkagreen73247 жыл бұрын
Bingo!lol
@victorstuartcohen30836 жыл бұрын
Love that! Thank you.
@ivanandreevich85685 жыл бұрын
I'm pretty sure that it would be nice if we gave up the following beliefs. Not MUST :p
@timd89124 жыл бұрын
Thanks jeff......
@AxmedBahjad3 жыл бұрын
That would be a good strategy. Cheers,
@ravikumarsingh3719 Жыл бұрын
Dr. Ellis begins by defining worry, or anxiety, as a negative emotional state that is often accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, and muscle tension. He then goes on to discuss the different forms of worry, including ego anxiety, comfort anxiety, and discomfort anxiety. Ego anxiety is worry about one's own performance and approval from others. Comfort anxiety is worry about being uncomfortable or in pain. Discomfort anxiety is worry about the world being a difficult place. Dr. Ellis then discusses how people often make themselves worry by telling themselves irrational beliefs. These irrational beliefs include: I must do well and be approved of by others. Things must go the way I want them to go. I can't stand it when things are difficult or uncomfortable. Dr. Ellis argues that these irrational beliefs are the root cause of worry and other emotional problems. He then teaches a technique called cognitive restructuring, which can be used to challenge and change these irrational beliefs. Cognitive restructuring involves identifying irrational beliefs, challenging them with evidence, and replacing them with more rational beliefs. Dr. Ellis concludes by demonstrating cognitive restructuring with a group of participants. Overall, the presentation by Dr. Albert Ellis provides a comprehensive overview of worry and how it can be treated using cognitive restructuring. Here are some additional details from the presentation: Dr. Ellis argues that worry is a learned behavior. He believes that people learn to worry by modeling the behavior of others, such as their parents or teachers. Dr. Ellis also believes that people learn to worry by catastrophizing, or thinking about the worst possible outcome of a situation. He argues that catastrophizing is an irrational belief because it is based on the assumption that the worst possible outcome is inevitable. Dr. Ellis teaches cognitive restructuring as a way to help people challenge and change their irrational beliefs. He believes that cognitive restructuring can be an effective treatment for worry and other emotional problems.
@lingeelajohnson19774 ай бұрын
Thank you kindly sir!
@jamesbutler5908Ай бұрын
Dr Ellis had an insight into the madness the deep rooted conditioning 😂😂😂😂
@endrightwinglunacy6 жыл бұрын
I remember listening to this wonderfully eccentric, humorously instructive video over and over again three years ago when I was severely depressed and worried and obsessed about absolutely everything in my life to the power of 10. Although by itself, this video didn't 'cure' me (it took an unplanned visit to the ER and finding a great compatible medication for that), I took away some great lessons from it. It's bittersweet to come back here to a video that helped me so much but places me back to a time that was extremely uncomfortable. Wherever you are now Mr Ellis, thank you, thank you, thank you. :)
@gregamenta6483 жыл бұрын
I bing listen it's helping have to keep at it
@ytvva9686 Жыл бұрын
How are you now?
@hassammahmoodq Жыл бұрын
That's beautiful!
@jamesd173711 ай бұрын
@@ytvva9686😅 uh Inu no
@misterfosterdulles7 жыл бұрын
yeah Al Ellis' approach , disputing until the 'crap falls apart '.. simple but effective. I've applied this approach, and even with my mistakes, I have totally had a great upward trend in my life, goals, according to my values... great stuff that happens to work for me
@Kingwayne869 жыл бұрын
Purchased, A Guide To Rational Living many years ago and it was a life changer! Dr. Ellis is a genius!
@esands889 жыл бұрын
I'm a counselor and I love Albert Ellis.
@machumak49153 жыл бұрын
I listen to this video over and over and over. It’s like one of those videos you don’t mind repeating. The lessons are so great and somebody here was kind enough to summarize the 3 musts. Gotta love the comments sections🤸🏽♂️
@georgesteinfeld39712 жыл бұрын
Studied with Al and loved his work. Funny and never failed to respond to my letters despite how busy he was. I miss him .
@TheAnxietyGuy16 жыл бұрын
Love the mind shift Albert Ellis brings to his teachings. Very big part to the knowledge on my channel ❤️
@ym61767 жыл бұрын
May God bless him, and keep him safe now. Yvonne. Kilkenny , Ireland.
@eileenvaughan67023 жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree .....
@rukhsanazaidi6295 жыл бұрын
God I love this man so much.❤️
@glendalewiskhaliq23874 жыл бұрын
This man makes sense. I thoroughly, enjoyed this old video.
@knowledgeseeker4116 Жыл бұрын
🙌 Rational Thinking for life…..Literally 👍
@jamescrook83768 жыл бұрын
thanks to this video, I cured my ocd...
@jamescrook83763 жыл бұрын
@MARK V it's been a Long Time and since gotten further Check out giftedness
@Whitb0y7tHsT3 жыл бұрын
Any tips?
@zoewaldron289910 жыл бұрын
Wonderful. Ellis is inspiring.
@tenorman27648 жыл бұрын
What a gift. Thank you for posting . Has been a great help for me
@Max_Volume_Music2 жыл бұрын
Keep coming back to this video
@alfredy80 Жыл бұрын
Thank u for posting, even in 2023
@heronguerra22482 жыл бұрын
Universal truths taught by the Great spiritual masters; Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu, and others. Here's the thing; it takes practice; no way to get around that. If we want the easy way, it doesn't exist. I've found this true in my very ordinary life.
@benniehaasbroek11 жыл бұрын
It helped me lots! Glad it did for you too! (Even though I'm breaking miliions of copy right laws. But it can stay until they through the book at me.)
@baterickpatman11 ай бұрын
the microphone was in someone's pocket who was fondling themselves the entire time
@lizgichora6472 Жыл бұрын
Dispute the law of should, must , could , with challenging logic and reason through scientific method . Thank you Dr Albert Ellis, for philosophical coping skills.
@anthonyquinn59274 жыл бұрын
This is the way it should be!!! Worrying does nothing but bring you down!!!
@mitch52224 жыл бұрын
And how to stop worrying if u have health problems and no future? 😢
@anthonyquinn59274 жыл бұрын
Mitch hi there I am sorry that you or your family are going thru that!! There are many resources available, there are social program that can be accessed. Regarding your health is this a serious condition? Is there no medicine that can help?
@mitch52224 жыл бұрын
@@anthonyquinn5927 thanks. Medications give me horrible side effects.
@anthonyquinn59274 жыл бұрын
Mitch never give up!!!!!!!! Regarding medicine there are many variety you just need to find the right one!!!
@knowledgeseeker4116 Жыл бұрын
Accept unfortunate circumstances. We don’t have to like it and can work on Changing it but accept it. If you can’t change it then feel sad and disappointed about it then look for some form of happiness even if it’s minuscule. We can’t control a lot of circumstances and things but seek pleasure even when it seems like it doesn’t exists. Too bad, tough cookies….now how do I find some happiness anyway- Dr Albert Ellis 🙏
@mtokhi2 жыл бұрын
54:15 coping statements: I never have to do well, but it would be preferable. I can cope with stressors and adversities in the environment and usually they not always do well. I never need absolutely under all conditions what I want. I will always to some degree fall on my face, be rejected do stupid things because I'm a failable human and there is no way I'm ever gonna be perfect and infailable.
@miyamotomusashi19465 жыл бұрын
That man was genius :)
@luvkrafft10 жыл бұрын
Great insight. Love his no-nonsense approach which is accessible and easy to follow.
@mikecain41098 жыл бұрын
Fantastic! Thanks for sharing!
@TheMelody553 жыл бұрын
Great video, Ellis is a great guy, makes everything relative. Thanks to put it on.
@saiprasad83113 жыл бұрын
Thank you Ellis. You keep a true mirror and sometimes it is intolerable.
@melodyglass29087 жыл бұрын
thank you. You helped a lot. I admire you.
@rachcliffe31828 жыл бұрын
Bennie thanks! Great for my studies! Social Work at University!
@ashleyawbrey120010 жыл бұрын
Awesome. Brilliant.
@MUJONYC8 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing this
@julesd95438 жыл бұрын
I love his approach...he makes so much sense.
@-mainstreetflushingqueensNewYo4 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ellis didn't believe in GD. Or an afterlife, but I would accept his opinion. I believe; he is still working and helping people on the other side. He was a special soul he wrote many books and was successful in his life. He didn't care about the material things in life. The main objective was helping people getting through there anxiety and their life travel in the earthly realm. He Must have gotten his angel wings from the most highest.
@-mainstreetflushingqueensNewYo2 жыл бұрын
You have listen to Dr. Ellis opinions and lectures. To understand his thoughts and his cognitive opinions. He was outstanding soul and caring human being. Those of us who studied with him or attended his work shops were blessed.
@hassammahmoodq8 ай бұрын
I agree. He was absolutely amazing
@nihkke7 ай бұрын
Oh nice, all the more reason to respect him:)
@bsdiceman5 ай бұрын
Hi David.
@anthonyha24259 жыл бұрын
I like this, really, really, really like this.
@AnaFamilyLifeCoach2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this audio.
@benniehaasbroek2 жыл бұрын
My pleasure. Seems to have helped a lot of people.
@bedonking11 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing!!!
@kab9852 жыл бұрын
This is great, thanks for uploading. I had heard of Ellis but didn't think to properly look into his work until now. So glad I did.
@benniehaasbroek2 жыл бұрын
You will never look back!
@renumalhotra66928 жыл бұрын
Hi there, this is very educating.
@lindahebb4832 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for posting
@robertgreen527110 жыл бұрын
Bravo and in lay person terms "clients do worry" this is ... useful for student learning a client example would have been useful though, in the way we got to know Ellis and Gloria (1965 lecture.)
@yoursubconscious4 жыл бұрын
best motivational video!
@benniehaasbroek4 жыл бұрын
Glad you liked it!
@SGTcrackey66611 жыл бұрын
Great Video!
@samueldarocha223 жыл бұрын
This is gold.
@igorg.86244 ай бұрын
Genius. I've been using his ABC's strategy to conquer difficult thoughts. He was way more effective with therapy than 99% of the pros out there.
@timd89123 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much......
@benniehaasbroek2 жыл бұрын
Most welcome
@kakai76408 ай бұрын
Thanks Dr.
@jdanderson9152 жыл бұрын
fantastic...
@antihero1056 жыл бұрын
Good practical advice. Recording starts to sound really weird around 50:00, sounds like a guitar strumming every time he speaks.
@robertbaur31454 жыл бұрын
Learned helplessness theory contradicts ret the only reason why any helplessness would cause worry or depression in ret if the outcome is defined as essential but given helplessness theory is experimentally shown wondering if it proves we have far less control to define an event or outcome as good bad or indifferent at will as ret seem to imply
@ja5cv4 жыл бұрын
Only came across REBT recently for presentation, wish I had discovered before ...
@meleshadgu57833 жыл бұрын
Thank You, Thank you Thank You I love it , it is helpful
@benniehaasbroek2 жыл бұрын
You are welcome!
@br41803 жыл бұрын
He is smart and logical
@ThisMichaelBrown6 ай бұрын
Brilliant!
@edsparky75125 ай бұрын
he throws the truth at you … TY 👍
@G3Number8 жыл бұрын
SENPAI I LOVE YOU
@benniehaasbroek9 жыл бұрын
Dear Ellisians! I'm unsure if all of you know about the new recording that I published a while ago. Here is the link: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/q5dgbNaH057ed3U.html Kind regards Bennie
@SparkyWaxAll6 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@oscillatewildly65533 жыл бұрын
You're a legend!
@protodhamma4 жыл бұрын
1:19:20 most beautiful song
@drtroyturner74647 жыл бұрын
As a group of Counselors we went to his Manhattan office for a lecture and demonstration when he was in his 80s and wheelchair bound with a number of assistants. Our volunteer was a biracial young lady who avoided black people, felt only politely tolerated by her so called white friends and had one friend in life...her dog..... who died last week. Paraprharasing Ellis - People disappointed you because they should always accept you?" That would be nice. "Does life always have to be nice or it's unbearable? " I think so. "So you wish that people liked you more?" Yes. "And what happens if they don't? " That's bad. "What if you were to say that I want to be liked by my friends, but if they reject me, forget them. I'm still a valuable person? What if you tried that?" I an not sure.
@gnuPirate7 жыл бұрын
That's interesting. I assume it would have been an urbanized area? I didn't know that such an amount of tension or feelings of racial division would exist in such an area to such an extent that a lady felt always out of place based on her particular mix of colours.... although you did say she said that she "avoided black people", so that seems strange too. If she wanted a friend, she just narrowed the chances for herself. Why did she avoid black people? Was that addressed?
@drtroyturner74647 жыл бұрын
I did not know the lady. Seeing as we were in Manhattan, most visitors were from NYU and one only need watch a 2 street radius of passing couples and the trend of Asian females walking with white males to see just one example of how this young lady might feel like the odd woman out. My suave Co-worker prefaced that he was engaged but shocked that such a pretty lady felt so bad. He told her to be strong because he and others saw value in her. I think her endeavors such as NYU and music tastes limited her interaction with Black people. She wouldn't be the first to say that she disqualified some black men as overly aggressive thirsty and not friends with black females for lack of exposure where she grew up, but that was not explored as he had enough with addressing her feelings about being okay with being alone.
@gnuPirate7 жыл бұрын
I suppose that makes sense from those angles. I guess I was just thinking that what is often behaviour that is attributed to "race" seems to shift with geographic and cultural shifts. ie. I imagine in America blacks (or people of any colour) in a ghetto would tend to be more aggressive in terms of getting what they want , since they don't have much to lose anyway. The same thing with say, broke / "disenfranchised" white southern males / hicks etc. (Having parallels with such things in Australia : Eg. behaviour that is attributed to Middle Eastern people seems to me to shift dramatically with culture (ie. religion specifically) and location. Insert anti-religious rant here... ie. when irrational non-evidence based beliefs don't divide people up, people mostly seem to get along okay. Of course, some individuals are just naturally over-aggressive.. They just seem to be more aggressive when they believe they have an invisible friend on their side.) But since this lady is mixing with crowds at NYU (and I imagine there would be a racial mix there) , I would think such behaviour would be different in these areas and cultures she mixed with. So I am surprised she would feel that way.... Especially if she's good looking ! I don't have personal experience in NY though. But yes , it's important people feel mostly content on their own . How on earth would they feel content with another person otherwise? So I see why that was the more important matter. Ta.
@drtroyturner74647 жыл бұрын
Jim Kirk I focused on my experience with him. My experience which is not governed by your rules. Obama's Audacity of Man comes to mind. right now. The previous reader enjoyed the personal touch as opposed to the generic account that you want to ordain. Since that is the angle you want, hop to it.
@drtroyturner74647 жыл бұрын
Don't nobody want to hear all that.
@bordendonna2 жыл бұрын
Bennie, great video. Did you make a list of the 21 ways?
@jonross55972 жыл бұрын
Genius
@LeonidSpartanKing3 жыл бұрын
He is genius :)
@mikemiller563711 жыл бұрын
Wow.
@obinnayoung2 жыл бұрын
RBT is easy and works great on humans.
@aquahero Жыл бұрын
great
@protodhamma4 жыл бұрын
56:31 referencing. Vitakka Santhana sutta
@missnaoumi2 жыл бұрын
I know this is completely not the purpose of the video BUT can anyone write the names of all the songs at the end they just me so joyful 😊 please!!!
@sauravbasu8805 Жыл бұрын
Is there any way I can get the full transcript of this whole lecture ? A transcripted version is easier for me to read, reread, highlight and make notes from. If anyone can provide a link of the transcript ( in pdf format or otherwise), that would be so welcome.
@alfredy80 Жыл бұрын
If u want, u can give me an email and I can send it
@mtokhi2 жыл бұрын
53:40 An effective new philosophy: Yes, I didn't do so hot this time, as I don't have to. And yes, I didn't get the love of this person now, as again I need not get. And yes, the world is uncomfortable as a life is going to be and I don't have to have it comfortable.
@brians19024 жыл бұрын
How does one handle a loved ones anxeities.
@sonnyboyd108 жыл бұрын
The BARNY song :D 1:21:00
@1ratoncrispin3 жыл бұрын
53:39
@teamcrumb11 жыл бұрын
they should hush up and listen to him. aah my pointless untimely complaint.
@stephaniewright3405 жыл бұрын
I feel asleep
@robertbaur31454 жыл бұрын
These talks significantly better than his books which are repetitive overly philosophical bordering on promoting apathy or I not much more than apathy
@manneagle39292 жыл бұрын
52:30
@LurkingCrassZero6 жыл бұрын
Becomes almost unlistenable about half-way through due to mic rubbing.
@robertgreen527110 жыл бұрын
Useful don't what the 2010s lectures could be by accademics and we need more of the Gloria case studies, therefore it is thematic? qualative? and a quanatative for student learning..
@Theone-ou2xt5 ай бұрын
Albert Ellis also wrote books claiming to completely cure anxiety ,his methods do not work ,if you do not believe me then read and apply his books while keeping context in your life the same as before .
@brandgardner2116 жыл бұрын
but anger at being treated wrongly is a great engine of social progress -- it leads to LAWSUITS. which are the main drivers of social progress (not "demonstrations", lawsuits)
@snakedogman2 жыл бұрын
Do you HAVE to be angry to file a lawsuit though?
@bordendonna2 жыл бұрын
@@snakedogman not always but you are probably concerned or experiencing a loss. It's okay to be angry we just don't want to stay "excessively' angry. We don't want to be stuck in that.
@maya96856 жыл бұрын
And how do u deal with C- PTSD ur REBT is worthless when it comes to complex trauma
@micheldemontaigne97266 жыл бұрын
Maya Try dialectical behavioural therapy :)
@Atropis886 жыл бұрын
how do you figure? i think it’s very effective actually. has to be administered gently in those cases but at the end of the day the reason PTSD stays in a person have to do with irrational beliefs about the event, oneself, the world, possible perpetrators, etc
@MindfulandMindless6 жыл бұрын
I use Ellis’s basic approach with those experiencing developmental, complex, and shock trauma every day and it’s very useful. Beliefs keep up chained to the past. There is additional work to be done because of the physiological nature of trauma, but nonetheless, challenging and changing our beliefs is vital.
@MindfulandMindless6 жыл бұрын
Thatguy Overthere perhaps you should read at least one paper on trauma before you next make another completely uneducated statement.
@MindfulandMindless6 жыл бұрын
Thatguy Overthere you’ve also eliminated education
@yoya47662 жыл бұрын
His work was really good. But to hear him, god doesn't he go on, and on and on. He doesn't get to the point and has such a droney way of speaking.