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And some men are narcissists who fall in love with your positivity and fun, then *after* marriage, crush the fun and joy out of you with unrelenting criticism and harsh treatment. Then they’re mad because “she isn’t fun anymore.”

When we first got married, my husband would only remove his pants after the lights were out. It was because he hated his thin legs. So, one day, I told him I loved the shape of his legs. He was shocked and said something like, "Really? I think they are too skinny." He had not worn shorts since he was a kid, so I bought him a pair of shorts and coaxed him to sit in the backyard with me and keep me company while I sunbathed. Which he did. Pretty soon, his legs had a better tan than mine, and I whined about that fact. Ever since then, he wore shorts almost ALL the time. In a few months, he will turn 76.....and will be wearing shorts, thanks to that compliment I paid him 50 years ago. All I can say now is that it's a good thing we live in the south. If not, I will need to find a way to tell him how great I think he would look in a snowsuit and ski boots. 😉

I asked my husband and his friends why men are more attracted to younger women and I was shocked by their answer. I expected them to all say that younger women were more beautiful (less wrinkles and tighter firmer perkier bodies) but they all said “more fun / carefree”. Younger women make men forget about the stress of life. That changed my thinking and started trying to focus on having fun and living in the moment instead of standing in the mirror worrying about wrinkles and weight. It comes full circle because now I actually feel more secure and safe knowing that my husband is more excited about me when I laugh and smile even with no make up.

2:00 - 1) It feels good. You’re fun to be with. 4:00 - 2) Investment. People value relationships they’ve invested in. 5:58 - 3) Reward for doing something nice for you or a variable, spontaneous reward. Emotional rewards, validation, appreciation.

To all single people out there who are also believers, ask God to write your love story... He is the author of Love... First ask Him to heal you of your childhood hurts and insecurities, to help you be the right person... And then see the miracle unfolding... 🙏

When my husband and I started dating we went out, had lots fun, kissed and said good night. We dated for 11 months before we were married and did not have sex before we were married. He wanted to wait and I was not going to fall into that trap again of giving a guy what he wanted before he married me. We understood each other from the start. We started dating near the end of November and got married the following November after dating for 11 months. We’ve now been married for 35 years and are still madly in love with each other, have 3 great kids who are also married! We’ve showed them what it takes to make a marriage work so hopefully they’ll take those lessons to heart. I can’t wait to spend at least another 20-30 years together! We’re 64 now so hopefully will it make at least another 20!

My beautiful Husband of 33 years, died of cancer, almost 2 years ago. Watching this video just reminded me why every single day of that marriage was so happy. We somehow managed to fill all 3 of these criteria, without even knowing it. This man knows exactly what he’s talking about.

Isn’t it sad that we lost the concept of how to be in a healthy relationship; we have to watch videos and read books and sign up for online courses. And of course there are so many different opinions on “how to win the man”, “how to keep the man”-Why can’t we just be honest, genuine and if we like or love someone, let them know and show them? Why does it have to be so complicated?

I had a boyfriend in the past where while we were waiting for public transportation when meeting up after we both got off work one day…he kissed me sweetly and I went limp in his arms as if I fainted because of his kiss. He fell right into character and called my name as if to “awaken” me. Then I sprang up…we both started laughing as well as other people who witnessed our sillyness. That was just one fun time I can think of.

I can rambert, must be at least 30 years ago, my husband said, " Oh I love your company , I love being with you " it was so wonderful to hear and I've never forgotten it .

My mantra is to 1) Make him laugh 2) Thank him 3) Encourage him 4) Tell him how handsome, intelligent and fabulous he is and 5) Make memories together As a woman, as much as I would like to mention all I'm thinking of, I think it best to not go on and on with negativity and insecurities. Time is so much better spent with a positive attitude. This is not to say that I don't communicate with my Beloved in tough times. I just try to keep a balance. In the end, it brings pleasure with no ending to see him happy and feel myself protected, wanted and loved. Luv Ya Mat and your lovely wife !! :)

I encourage my man to follow his dreams. That is my way of keeping him into me. He wants to fly. I ask him flying questions, he becomes so animated, He has a flight simulator, I suggest he takes a night for himself to practice. He looked into going to finish his lessons to earn his license. He treats me so wonderfully, that is my way of saying, I value you and I want your happiness to be complete.

#1 fun conversation #2 genuine compliments #3 knowing that I genuinely care for him as a person #4 knowing that I respect and value him, including his opinions. #5 knowing that we really are on the same page with how a relationship should flow

I’ve been married for over 50 yrs to a man that crushed me and destroyed the love I had for him. I could never get out. The man you date isn’t the man you marry.

Nope … my husband did not say he wanted to feel “fun” … he said he wanted to feel “good,” “companionship” and “calm.” And totally yes to the validation, compliments and rewards!!

Hehe. So like a puppy. You play with him (fun), then you teach him some tricks (how he should treat you) and then he gets a treat. After the treat you repeat the cycle! How simple! Thank you 🙏🏻

Your channel indeed changed my life. After watched all your videos, I understood how to love and appreciate a man. I met the one I’ve been looking for in my past 30 years, and after only 7 months, we got our marriage license today. Thank you so much, you changed my life.

I think my key to make him to be addicted is to not being available for him 24/7 and loving myself

1. It feels good 2. Investment 3. (Variable) Awards

Thank you for sharing this! I literally texted my husband after this video because I want him to feel cared about. He's at work and has been pulling our weight in bills and stuff lately because I've been sick. I texted him that I appreciated the things he has been doing lately for us and that I'm so grateful he stepped up while I've been out of work. He called me within minutes and said how that made him feel so appreciated. I could tell it really made him feel cared about. I think maybe I've been doing things wrong with how I communicate with him lately, so it was nice being reminded that they operate differently and that I need to be a little more fun, less stressful to be around and to make him feel loved back.

I Don’t want any man to be addicted to me!!! I want a man to be faithful and to love me.

Whatever happened to just be yourself and if they like you they like you and if they don’t they don’t 🤷‍♀️

I just went on a date and it’s funny my date asked me what makes me the happiest and I said feeling secure and being able to enjoy the things I love to do and my date said being with someone that he can have fun and enjoy their company with makes him happy.

So - how do you explain a man who asks to marry you on the first date without so much as hand holding? Yep. No lie. First date. That was almost 60 years ago. Yep. Love at first sight is real and can last a lifetime.

There isnt a single day in our home that goes without laughters. We dont have kids or pets. Just the two of us and our daily laughters together. I love you amor ❤️

Just being more easy going and having fun instead of worrying about where the relationship is going has helped a lot

I'm older than some ladies, but I highly suggest for all women, young or mature, to be alright with being alone. No one will be happy to meet all your needed, so you better enjoy your own company.

This advice is applicable to non-toxic people. Toxic & dangerous people like narcisssists, sociopaths, dark empathy & psychopaths are very good at mimicking these 3 behavioural advice here, usually by first reeling you in with their sob stories that may not be 100% true, just to test your empathy level. They need you to be empathetic so that they can get away with bad behaviour in the future. However, their acting last a few weeks/months only. You know you got a rotten apple in your hands when toxic people throw tantrums at you if they don't get their rewards/demands fulfilled from you a.s.a.p.

Did all this. 8 yrs later I am getting divorced. I understand that a foundation is needed in order to build. The best thing I would encourage women to do is to seek mutual relationships and always be forward with your communication.

1) Fun - The more fun you're creating the more fun you're having together the more likely he'll become addicted to that experience because the better it'll feel! So life giving, light hearted, expansive, avoid drama, depressive, heavy, critical topics. Create Joy, laughter 2) Investment - We value what we put effort into. Holding standards.

Never, ever, live by your feelings.. feelings change daily. Live by commitment.

I can tell when a man wants to be with you because he is excited to show you something new. Never been to his favorite place or restaurant. He wants to see your reaction to something new. Better reaction more he wants to show you more and more.

My cooking used to give my man some wow moments and he said it made him feel special knowing I made the dish especially for him, for forty seven years. He loved the way I incorporated his favourite smells and tastes and made enough only for him. His special dishes are still in my recipe book. Sadly I don’t cook them anymore, the angels cook for him now.

I'm in the process of making my relationship. Not letting him go. We both actively speak out truth. Best thing ever.

I discovered they want to be with me: - My looks - My personality - My charm - My ambition & independence - My intelligence 🤓 - My sympathetic & how protective of the ppl who deserve - Diplomatic I am And other stuff..!!

sounds great. this channel proved some real stuff. the same as my sister's trick about enahncers such as spanish fly which is according to her super easy to use + relieve stress and boost energy. (in fact i tried it as well and it's great, even my partner loves me more now)

Hey, Mat...When you suggested setting standards, it sounds like the "playing hard to get" tactic. I must have done that with my husband the first time he asked me to have dinner with him, which also was our "first date". Since we were basically strangers, I was feeling a bit leery about getting in a car with a man I did not know. For all I knew, he could have been Jack the Ripper. So, being able to trust him was definitely an issue. To help overcome my fear, I told him that I would agree to have dinner with him, but only if I could bring my best friend along. She was older and more experienced than me when it came to dating men. I was just 19 and she was 24. Plus, she carried a gun in her purse and knew how to shoot it. But, as it turned out, I ended up going without her. After I had conveyed my safety concerns to "the strange man", it must have pushed his "macho button", like he must prove to me that I had nothing to fear and that he would protect me. And after listening to you talk about setting standards, he must have thought, "Wow, this chick is not going to let me get away with anything bad, so I better be on my best behavior." And he most definitely was. He opened doors for me and pulled my chair out for me as we reached the table at the restaurant. He insisted that I order first. He had me home before midnight (the curfew my mom had set for me). All in all, he acted like a true gentleman. At first, I wondered if I had scared him into not asking me out again, but little did I know at the time that he loved the fact that I wasn't going to be an easy catch (because of those standards you mentioned). He was a hunter for sure, now that I think back on it. I even told him I didn't want to even think about getting married until I was 30 or something. Well, let me tell you I couldn't have beat him away with a baseball bat after that, because, as his friends put it, he was a confirmed bachelor. LOL Now, after 51 years, he swears I was the one who caught him. 😆 Mmmmm....maybe he's gotten a little smarter in his old age. Hahahaha

Encouragement: I let him know how amazing he is at his job. How he knows his stuff and has confidence in what he does. Fun:. I make him laugh as often as I can. Playing or teasing him with certain differences, since he is Polish and I am American. Well they say men wear stockings. I had a field day with that, which he laughed over and came out with the sentence I always want to hear, "What am I going to do with you?" And my response is always, "Love me forever " I have realized through life experience, life is to short to not enjoy each moment, so I make the best out of them, and this has allowed him to crawl out of his past experience and enjoy them with me. I can relate to these three behaviors and they work. Loving someone with your heart and soul allows this to happen and it works so well.

As an aspiring KZfaqr myself, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing us all on this journey with you. It’s videos like this that keep me inspired to create every day ☺️

I agree with this guy entirely. Positive attitude, having a good laugh, encouragement, gratefulness, appreciation, are essential to every relationship and from both sides.

Be yourself and having a loving heart you can't mess up what's ment to be don't try to hard

I wish all the men in the world were like mat boggs ...🥰...i love this guy...😘😘

1. Dial up fun to dial up desire ...ignite fun to feel good 2. Invite a man to invest in you, to earn your time/neg through setting standards for him to achieve value you 3. Reward your man thru validation and appreciation , telling him you make me melt when I'm in your arms, you're amazing

These are three very enlightening tips. Being three hours apart, my guy and I see each other every ten days or two weeks. Absence does make our hearts grow fonder. We met through Facebook dating and exchanged phone numbers right away. We texted and called each other for eight months before meeting in person. While on the phone we each “took the other person along” by vividly describing where he or I was going or what each one was doing. I feel very connected to him and I think he feels the same way.

Listening to this made me smile because all of the three points are what I gave and still give in my relationship with my husband. I suppose I watched this to get reassurance of my relationship. My husband rarely expresses his love in words, and when he is quiet I feel uncomfortable cos I have been trained and socialized that when someone loves you he should tell you. However I have been with my husband for 10 years and he is with me all the time, we enjoy each others presence and without verbalising we are each others security blankets. Listening to those three points it reminds me he is addicted(in a good way) to being with me, without saying a word cos I am his fun element, I have always had standards and I throw rewards at him. Thanks for reminding me that I am loved. ❤️

When we work towards a life goal together..and that life goal means a lot to both of us individually..i feel the bond gets tighter. (For eg: studying for a very important exam.) We were going to work on that goal anyway..but now there is a partner who has the same vision and is as passionate as you about that goal! So when we work together, the results increase many fold! The best feeling..and feels like a blessing to both.

This is one of the best channels for good, sound, sane, relationship advice that I've come across.

Being kind and considerate to one another is one of the best ways to strengthen a relationship. Doing nice things that you know your partner will appreciate, it may take more time or more effort but it’s so worth it and it shows them that you do really care about them and that they are worth it. My husband and I are like this naturally with one another and it really works. I also pray a lot asking God to guide us both in our relationship and He does. It works and I am grateful.🙏❤️

I really appreciate your videos and I like when you share statements we can say to inspire, motivate and show our men appreciation. It’s awesome. Thank you so much.

I have discovered that by supporting his time with his male friends ; hunting, working out, playing sports, etc; that our time together is going to be more enjoying and not rushed. We love taking trips and being around nature and each other.

When i'm with him I make sure he sees that I am happy around him all the time, which makes him happy and we always compliment each other and laugh around and talk a lot, we always have our phones down when we're together. Also, side note. always lean into him closer while talking, sitting, etc. It's psychological, and he loves that

Hi Mat! I love your tips. Thanks. To answer your question, I try to think of my husband's needs. For example, if he has been on his feet all day, I'll lotion up his dry feet and give him a feet massage (without him asking). I notice it relaxes him right away. Seeing him relaxed like that pleases my heart too.

My man told me in the beginning that he wanted to feel appreciated. What a simply desire and easy to fulfill in my eyes. Gratitude goes a looooong way! Verbal rewards are very important absolutely work in our relationship

Be happy, genuinely smile a lot, make short eye contact to give him emotional space.

I’ve been in a Long distance relationship for over six years I can only confirm what you’re saying here. I found it crucial to start off by relationship on the right foot. Setting standards from the beginning is setting standards for the future of you as a couple ❤️

Matt, i just love watching your videos. You speak with so much wisdom and honesty, I've begun to apply the things you recommend. Thank you for starting this channel 💖

Celebrate every precious moment with him.....don't take him for granted....be his escape from the mundane.....have fun and be playful.....

Thank you! I love your advice! It inspires me to try again and do better❤️

I love these insights into the things that make a man feel happy and loved! If I’d found Mat’s videos sooner, I could’ve been an even better wife to my beloved late husband. After two years of mourning, I’ve found another wonderful man, and I want to do this RIGHT! ❤️

Such a GREAT video! I totally see this loop happening in my relationship and it feels so good. Thamks for the guidance Matt! You're a blessing! 💜

Humor - laughter brings joy and lightens life up

Definitely need to practice these three beautiful behaviors in order to have a beautiful relationship. Thank you Mat for this beautiful one u done for us 😀

I've watched a lot of your videos and I don't think you know how much you've raised young ladies self worth and young men have more respect for women. You are a leader in healthy relationships which equates to a new healthy society. Tell your wife you didn't pay me to say that! LOL God bless you man! 😊💕🌎

Thank you so much, Matt, I can’t tell you how much I needed this video today! Love your content so much. Bless y’all

I think you essentially mentioned it but for me, I’ve found that owning your personal time and encouraging him to have his, helps both of us in wanting to spend that quality time together. The old adage, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ holds some weight. Self-care in a relationship and acknowledging the importance of his self-care, speaks volumes about your willingness to sacrifice some time with him, to make sure he is taking care of himself. ♥️

For me, if I like a girl, I'd let her know in person and just tell her how beautiful her smile is, how much I like her positive energy or something else that I thought would made her special to me. Hey I'm old school and believe it or not, it worked well for me and I'm not a very good looking dude like James Bond 007...best of luck to all ;)

Its always good to express your gratitude to your man, it strokes his ego, makes him feel good!

I appreciate all of Mat's insights AND being able to fully immerse myself in the content with zero ads/commercials..really keeps the flow. Thank you Mat 👏

I love how healthy all your advice is. How to be a high quality partner and work your strengths to become your best version, rather than manipulate someone to get them in a relationship I see way too often. Thanks for the amazing videos Matt, I've been a fan for years!

"Be happy" is so true. My husband (13 years and three boys later) had told me before that I always look prettier when we are on holiday. He might be joking but it could be true as I always feel much cheerful and happy during holiday.

You’re awesome! Thank you for your great advice!

Thank you so much for sharing good ideas about relationship

Kindness. Sincerity. Cleanliness in mind and body. Self worth is vital!🌺🦋🌺🦋🌺🦋🌺🦋🌺🦋 Helpful! Thankyou.

Every word you said is so true and so accurate.. the key to any relationship is definitely fun aspect and quality investment cause nowadays time is money 👌🏻

Well said Mat. Thank you for saying it out loud. The formula is quite simple. however like anything else worth doing, changing our behavior can seem difficult. It works ladies and gentlemen. Listen to this man. Wisdom! It's addictive.

Thank you so much for this helpful information ❤

I’m new to your channel and I love watching your videos. It’s very rewarding knowing that I have put forth the effort and have been doing my best to not push someone away. I recently last month suffered a stroke and I have been spending time with a special friend. He drives an hour each way to see me and he makes sure I am healing and taken care of properly. He takes me out to eat and makes sure I’m provided for. We have so much fun when we’re together we have a Lotta things in common as well as you know were polar opposites and someways but I also feel that he’s my twin flame he helps build me up he’s helping me to heal he wants me to be my best form to be with him and he’s standing by my side being so sweet and so kind. He surprised me last week he texted me and said what are you doing because he was on break at work he said he left his watch on the railing outside when he was smoking a cigarette the day before he asked if I could go look his watch so I waddled outside the best way I could because of having a stroke I can’t walk very well and so I actually made the effort and then I told him on the phone I said I can’t find your watch and so then all of a sudden I hear his voice and I turned around in there he is he’s like surprise he drove over an hour each way it because it’s traffic took the night off from work and the next day off from work to come and be with me and I thought that was the sweetest thing in the world that gesture alone showed me that he cared. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a good person in my life such an amazing friend who has been my rock through all of this I’m going through a really bad divorce my husband abandoned me when I was barely 2 months pregnant in September 2017 I’ve been on my own in my daughters four years old and autistic and my son will be 14 and he’s also special-needs. When I was in the hospital fighting for my life after having a stroke I was hospitalized for a week my soon to be ex-husband decided to give my children up to foster care to state custody. I was beyond devastated when I found out here I am fighting for my life in the hospital and the state contacted my ex to let them know that the kids needed to be picked up from school that I was rushed to the hospital because I had a stroke he said he didn’t want responsibility hung up the phone and decided to block every call after. I sat in this house for a few weeks before my special friend decided to come and see me he came into my life and I have this most amazing connection with him that everything that I went through when I was in the hospital he’s been there for me he’s helped me process all my feelings and emotions so I’m not so angry he’s help me learn to let go of the anger against my husband because of what he did to me n my children. I’m heartbroken and devastated because now I have to wait for the state to decide whether I am fit to take care of my kids are not after I recover from the stroke. People can be very toxic and I had to learn the hard way I had a man marry me for a green card and citizenship and that’s why I’m in the situation that I’m in now but I am blessed because God was looking out for me and sent me an angel and that Angel has been watching out for me feeding me and taking care of me. We have an amazing friendship we have an amazing spiritual connection and he’s an amazing energy for me he’s been helping heal me just his presence alone we smoke together sit in the candle at dark because I’ve had a head injury and I can’t deal with a lot of bright lights so we light the candles and we watch TV a lot listen to music because he works during the week and we spend the weekend together he’s been an amazing support for me we’ve had our ups and downs with like our motions because we’ve cried we’ve laughed together we’ve had so much fun and I don’t know what I did right to deserve such an amazing man. Every relationship I’ve ever had was toxic because I’ve been abused cheated on used in this man never asked me for anything and he told me the other day he loved me. I just smiled and put my hand over my mouth because I was in shock at the same time but I left it as it is and we don’t even need to speak to one another and we know what each other’s thinking it’s weird but I’ve learned from my past toxic relationships that I need to focus on different things rather than my past I am a survivor I look forward to watching more of your videos God bless and thank you for enlightening me

Thank you Matt! I appreciate your on point expertise!

You said it right being positive and fun is what keeps him coming back for more! And yes we have to always remember to acknowledge him and validate him and respect him!

Honesty being honest with him, I haven’t met him yet, but I love him so much

Thank you for all the inspiring and educational videos . This helps our relationship grows more. God bless you and Stay safe🙏🙏🙏😘🌹

Recently discovered you, and dang you're good! Very much enjoying your content. Straight forward. You're not only explaining the why, but also telling us exactly the how. Appreciate you. Thank you. :)

Sincere compliment works everytime!

I agree with you definitely that a little encouragement works wonders.giving him space and laughing at his mistakes also makes him depend on you for emotional support.

I do all these things naturally. If a man is not invested these things will not matter. They will want you to keep pouring them on and take. But if a man cannot reciprocate ...your in for heartache.

Great advice , thank you

Thank you, my standards are high and I don’t like being pressured into a physical relationship. I always had fun with my husband. Yes I agree with the psychological rewards, being kind works as well .👍

I've been married since 1998 at the age of 18. I have lovely daughter age 23 now. I broke up my husband twice. But because of what i've learned from your video' s he comeback to me. He said , i'm different from other woman that he have relationship.

These are really awesome reminders. Three valuable truths to cherish. Thanks a lot,Matt.Totally appreciate it. You're amazing!😍

So true! Everything you said!

Lovely, Thank you. Yes, it can be this simple though there's certainly a lot more to it as you are on your journey together.

When I cook for him. He even said so that - that was the way to his heart. ❤️

One thing I have done as a variable award, is put a thank you card, as well as gift card for a coffee shop, in a male co workers locker to thank him for everything he does, and to thank him for protecting me.

wow this was very helpful! thank you!

This is an informative video about relationships, I enjoy watching your videos. 😊

A good sense of humor goes a long way 🙂

Together for 25 years. At first, he had to "work" hard (invest) a lot as I was not interested in getting in a relationship again. I had suffered too much from the previous one. So, during a year we talked, dined or even sang together. We talked about the real things. I put my standards without even being aware that I was really setting my standards for him to learn how he could conquer me. Later on I realized that men need to have challenges. He made me laugh, I made him valued and admired. Your video is helping me get back to what was the start of our beautiful relationship. I will try to put more fun in our couple as we have been slowly distracted by life problems, money, mortgage, work, sickness and death of his father etc. many thanks for your video.

Grateful as I’ve learned a lot from your video, really helpful content. Keep it up. Thanks a lot.

I find all your advice so perfect.