People obsessing about birth rates and pressuring women to have kids never want to talk about how unaffordable it is to have kids.

More men are noticing the costs of how expensive life is because more women are no longer subsidizing mens lifestyles. You love to see it !

Them: "when are you gonna have a baby?" Me: "are you gonna pay for it?"

I'm willing to bet his "close to 50/50 custody" is nowhere near 50/50.... Especially since his child is 9 years old already and he has no idea how much basics cost!

Story: 1 So was he living under a rock for the past 8 years of his daughter's life? That he does not see nor knows how much things cost??? So he has not been to the pool for more than 20 years? He has not done a grocery in 10 years? But he has a girlfriend?? I guess finding a girlfriend was more important than raising his child all of these years.... So he was not living in reality than?

$65K was a decent salary before the last couple of years of inflation...

I was never interested in baby daddies or single dads. $65k/year isn’t a lot and is just above p0verty line in some states. Instead of raising his kid, he is dating and has a GF? Ladies, please avoid these single daddies.

I had my children at 42 and 43. I married at 40 and was divorced by 50. I definitely wanted my kids but this single parenting thing is not for the weak. I definitely put myself last most of the time. I am grateful that we are not struggling financially.

Men want kids like a kid wants a puppy. So yeah I do get a kick out of reading about single dads realizing how hard being a parent is and how many sacrifices they have to make. Their wives were the ones doing the sacrificing before they leave so can't say I feel bad for them.

Many moons ago, I was on a dating site. I went out on a date with a guy who, without asking me, brought his daughter with him on the date. Of course, I included the daughter in the conversation and asked her questions to make her feel comfortable. The Father then asked that I join them for a family barbeque afterwards. The whole thing was a bit strange because I got the sense that I was being "auditioned" to be a replacement Mom instead of taking the time to see if we actually had a genuine connection. Suffice it to say, I blocked him.

Children are whole humans. You need food, shelter, clothing and medical care? So do they! Anything for 3 people is more expensive. Even in the 80's when a ticket to the pool was 5$, don't you think kids ask for fries, ice cream? Maybe they also needed swimsuits, sunscreen and mosquito ointment in the summer. But you were a baby and only saw the admission fee. A lot of men who now pay 100$ for sandwiches, tea and dessert took it for granted when their mom or sister still invited him and his kids over and maybe even baked a cake herself and he just took it as invisible labour.

Men’s cluelessness as to why she left shows us that they never ever listened to you in the first place. All they really hear is the Charlie Brown Mother’s speak: “Wah, Wah, Waah, Wah!” All of my exes have absolutely no clue as to why I left and were shocked when I did. 🙄🤡

The first man needs to get certs to increase his pay. He has a family to support so he needs to improve upon himself. The second story...no sympathy because these men play blind and deaf to issues in marriage until they hear the word divorce.🙄

“It is easier for me to think of her as a narc.” That alone is very telling…

Every now and then I would respond to people asking why I never had kids with a shrug and "Eh, I crunched the numbers and they didn't look good."

I was 15 yrs when I got pregnant and 16 yrs old when I had my child. I was prayed on by an adult. Due to my morality, I kept the baby. I regret it fully.

55 no kids, no regrets. Seeing my single mother struggle to raise me alone with no help from absentee father affected my viewpoint. I knew that If I wasn't able to fully trust the person to support me and provide me with a very specific setup of circumstances in which to have a child, which is never guaranteed of course, it was a no go.

I have no children by choice. I am 46 years.

I just feel like when men start on this I regret not treating my wife better schtick, it just confuses me. Do they think ppl want to be miserable forever? Do you think that they will never get fed up and throw in the towel when someone is mistreating you? It's so weird

Knew since I was 10 years old that I never wanted children. Seeing my cousins and friends go through pregnancy and raising children never looked appealing to me. When someone tells you that they don't want children, believe them and don't expect reasons or explanations because it's none of your business.

I had no kids, no regrets, and I've always known I never wanted kids.

If all these men do is forgive themselves and move on, their past will definitely be their future as well as some poor woman’s future.

I don't have children. Unlike some women who knew they didn't want kids before middle school, I did think I'd have them when I was an adult. However, circumstances led me to rethink my stance because by middle school, I was a parentified child. Then when my sister became a teen mother, I was partly responsible for raising my nephews. I no longer wanted children of my own after experiencing firsthand the drudgery and exhaustion of caring for children. By my early 30s, after being an unpaid servant and nanny for my family for the majority of my life, I was done and wanted to focus on myself for the first time ever. Also, with the economy the way it is right now, I don't know how people can even afford children.

The 1st OP is struggling financially but still has a girlfriend? He needs to be taking classes to find a more lucrative career. He’s probably auditioning for a new bangmaid to go 50/50 with.

If he's crying about how much it cost just to feed the kid when she's around a couple days a week, just imagine how much it cost the mom to keep the kid everyday including healthcare, school supplies, etc. & she has to find a job that works around the child schedule.

The one guy “masterfountains” is complaining about paying $2K of alimony/child support over 6 YEARS? WTF? Then these husbands who purposely drive their wives to divorce them by their actions, then they act surprised when their wives are done with their nonsense.😂

My grandma used to tell me to be selfish for as long as I can. And that when you have kids you can't be selfish anymore so make sure you're ready for it when it happens. People get mad at wpmen for being selfish ... we're literally taught we have to be selfish. No one is ever going to care about you.... more then you. You must always advocate for yourself. Idk how that's so hard to get 🎉

I make around $125,000 a year and go to the food bank; I have one autistic child with food aversions, one diabetic person with stage 4 brain cancer and a teenager + me. Every bit of help, helps.

S2: It’s always, “she left and I don’t know why” 😂

"I'm all alone in another town while she is at her parents' surrounded by family and friends." This, right here, is why single (childfree?) women will tend to be okay with passing on without marriage. Hit the wall? This is what I see on the other side of that 'Wall'. Sorry, felt like putting this tangent out there.

I had my first baby at 21, my second at 23, and my third at 26. My original plan had been to wait until I was 30, to finish my degree and get established in a career first. But my husband said he didn’t want to be an old dad like his father and I just went along with it, figuring I could always go back to school later. I did, but not until 20 years had passed. I’ve been playing catch up ever since and it’s exhausting. Would not recommend.

Men - obsessing over money. Sir, try being obsessed with your wife so you don't end up here.

I have one child. I had her at 31. In regards to the second story, the one where the man was posting about his “narcissistic” wife, he’s the narcissist. I was married to a man like him. Key word: was.

I remember when I was a teenager living with my dad... I had to go to the bread basket. Simply bc my dad wouldn't buy food for me.

I am 32 and have 5 kids, was pregnant 9 times. I first got pregnant at 18 by my ex-boyfriend/ grapist. Thank god for spontaneous ab0rtions. Married my now husband at 21 and got pregnant on the wedding night, pregnant or bfeeding constantly until 2022 when we threw up our hands in disgust at everything the Church stands for and got a vasectomy.

I'm child-free, but I care for a disabled adult family member. It's like having an adopted child that will never fully grow up. I love her so much, but it's hard, thankless work with 0 compensation. I took care of my mom for well over a decade, and now I'm middle-aged and doing it again (9 years so far) because a relative wasn't taking care of her disabled adult child, so here I am. I will probably die an invisible servant. I chose this because I could not let her suffer, so now I suffer instead.

I work at a place that donates to food banks. I’m like, donating every slightly dented can or plastic jar, every ripped label, every smudged date stamp-all of it. Donate donate donate!

I am childfree by choice and you know other women love to hate on us just like men. In 2019 I had a coworker a young woman in her 20s who has a child. When I said something about not being able to afford a child she got really mad. She told me “you figure it out.” Thats the point, I don’t want to figure it out. Her mom would watch her child while she was working. Thus, she had free childcare. Neither of my parents would be watching my child for free. At the time my dad was caring for my ailing stepmom and my mom is a full time RVer so she does not live near by. The lack of money and the expense of things is real. While finances was never a deciding factor in why I never had children it would have been a factor in deciding whether to keep a child if I ever would have gotten pregnant. I am glad that men are in their find out season but women need to get over the fact that just because I do not want kids and it’s a conscious decision I made, does not mean I am judging them for their unplanned pregnancy. Our country is coming into a national find out season and it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

I had children young (21 &. 23) and while I faired ok as a single mom I still advise young women not to have children young. It is a lot of hard work. I am just now able to enjoy my life at 52.

I have no kids. Even when I was a kid myself, I never felt that urge to want to join the ranks of motherhood. I figured if it should just happen before I turned 35, then it was meant to be. Now, at 43, that shop is closed lol. I have two fur babies and that's enough 😊.

I had kids in my early 20’s. With what seems like an explosion of autism, adhd, allergies, related illnesses & diseases, I don’t know why any woman would even risk having a baby today. If these diagnoses had been at what seems like epidemic proportions in the 80’s, I probably would have passed on having kids. I do not know how women, especially single moms, cope with the additional stress & expense in this economy.

I had my sons at 31,34 and 37. I was a sahm for 15 years. I'm in IT so my skills were out of date. I took online classes from my local community college for about 18 months while working jobs that paid a bit higher than minimum wage. I was lucky to have generous child support, alimony, and settlement so my sons could live at the same level as pre divorce. With time and a few lucky breaks I've been working IT for almost 10 years. I had to start at entry level and still not making great money. But at 60 I can never afford to retire since I used my settlement on my sons. I'm starting a business this year that I plan to subsidize my current income and hopefully retire at 70

I'm 39 with 0 kids. I'm currently scheduling surgery for August for endometriosis, uterine ablation, and a bilateral tubal ligation. It's 20 years overdue because none of my doctors believed me when I expressed the pain I was experiencing. I never wanted kids. This should have been an option long ago.

I can afford to eat out because I'm childfree. Children are a responsibility and expense that i don't want.

It it my life's work to not be a mom or wife appliance

Husband Doesn't Want Divorce . . . I love single sided Reddit stories.

I married at 19 and had our only child at 21. Because he was abusive in every way imaginable, i ended up a divorced single mother. I didn't have any more children because it was already hard enough, even with my amazing village. Best decision ever!

I was 17 one month away from 18 when I had my little gremlin. Love him to death, the only regret that I have at this point is what life he is going to have. I can only imagine what kind of anxiety and depression mothers that have little girls are having. If you are thinking of having kids, don’t just don’t. Most of the men aren’t worth it, finding a man that are worth anything is like hunting for a damn mythical creature. Children are unsustainable financially, you are going to suffer one way or another. I had to fight and move around constantly to get where I am in my career and it’s not much as someone with no college degree. Please for the love of anything and everything, work on yourself first.

First dad thinking that $1000 per month is 50/50 is laughable

I had my first at 29, unplanned, failed birth control, and was totally unprepared. Second at 37, planned, and prepared, he came 2 months early so I was not AS prepared as I originally thought 😂

We were 36 and 31 when we started having kids. We wanted each one of them. It's hard to raise kids, and getting harder, but I wouldn't trade any of them for the world. If someone is not committed to raising kids - more than just having them - then parenthood is not right for that person, and that's ok.

And the fact that they always believe the woman just spending child support on herself😂😂😂

Thank you for identifying that the woman who is cautioning all against having children, clearly had children in her 20’s- no shame, just facts. I love being a mother, but set myself up for success by getting my degree and working on my career in my 20’s, then had a family in my 30’s. I am in my 40’s now and very happy with those choices.

No kids, by design. And no more chance of "changing my mind", since I had a complete hysterectomy last year. Also, no regrets. The other day, the afternoon movie on CTV was "Three Men and a Baby", and as soon as that crying kid showed up on the doorstep, I was like NOPE, TIME TO TURN THE TV OFF NOW. And that's when I realized that I really HAD made the right choice, FOR ME. Not gonna regret a thing I haven't done, or let anyone guilt-trip me. I come from a large family, and I don't need to repeat that move myself.

My guess for story #2 is that he was a parasite. He had his wife appliance running 24/7 especially in “men’s happiness machine” mode. Sure he maybe helped out once in a while but never in a significant way and he admits himself that he could’ve been more affectionate, which we know is the menz idea of acknowledging women as fellow humans with full sentience and needs. Wife got tired of carrying the household and child-rearing and checked out so he decided she was abusing him by acting distant and then when she was ready she filed for divorce. And he was shocked, as they always seem to be. Any takers?

I was 29 and 32 when I had kids. My mom was a teen mom and while she did well financially, I needed an adult parent. My "father" was a p*do who died before I was 8 and he was trash anyway. Sure, my mom eventually became an adult but certainly not at the level I needed. I REALLY wanted kids and I was very aware that "extra" things happen. Both my son and my daughter have high functioning autism and that has been a lot of extra work. I certainly don't regret it at all but I know how much extra stress that is and not everyone can handle it.

#2 well well well if these are not the consequences of his actions 🤷‍♀️ good for her that she has her family around! And i kinda missed the part where she forced him to cut off all friends so...🤷‍♀️

All my kids have paws. I have 2.

I was 35 and 38. It’s interesting how the pearls of wisdom I share with my boys, now, is very different than what I would have shared if I were 15 years younger.

I’m 44 with zero kids. I’ve been told that I was selfish for not having children, but I learned from my mother and peers the importance of a village. I couldn’t give my children a better outcome than myself as a single parent so I made sure I never became one despite the pressure.

That dad better be glad he's got a daughter and not a son, if he's complaining about how much food costs! Boys will eat you out of house and home!!

1. Omg he’s whining and crying over paying child support. He can afford groceries at the store. He chooses to go to the food pantry. There’s nothing wrong with that. He just wants to complain. He’s complaining about taking his child and gf out. Food costs money and eating out is now a luxury. He should have just hit the Food Court at Costco for the $1.50 meal instead. He’s stingy as heck. I make more than double his income and raised my almost adult child as a single mother. I did what I had to do. A lot of people thought they were too good for food pantry and now needs one or uses it because he doesn’t want to spend his own money. He’s not fooling me. He’s in the find out stage. I don’t feel sorry for him. This is why women are opting out of marriage, relationships and motherhood. 2. He ain’t sorry he was intentional with his words and actions. She’s filing for divorce sir! You won’t change it she knows it and so does he. The married single mother wife appliance is leaving. This post has lies by omission written all over it. He was abusive and insufferable, but won’t say it. He said all the quiet things out loud to his soon to be ex-wife. All the whining and crying like a man child on social media tells us everything we need to know. The tantrums he’s having won’t change anything. 3. This is a cautionary tales women across the globe are having the same experiences. You control your life not others, society or religion. QOD: had one child at 26 one and done. ❤

My mum had kids at the same age as the lady in the last story the only difference was that she was the breadwinner. Having a husband who was not earning much but would send money to his family in Nigeria, entertain his friends with the food in the house sometimes leaving nothing for her, or just cooking large amounts of food to punish her. I can understand why my mum regretted having kids and motherhood as a whole. He actually would have wanted her to leave the job and bring up two kids with him in near poverty than be happy that she was progressing and more money was coming into the house making life easier. Of course that changed when she left, but therein came the unpaid labour of his various affair partners. I love kids but not enough to go through life unfulfilled. I was unfulfilled as a child and i can change that be breaking the evil circle. It seems that the force birthers will soon find out they cannot get blood out of stone was people cannot afford these extra kids they want people to have.

I got married at 26. I had children at 28 & 30 one miscarriage . I have two successful adults. They are child free and will probably be forever. They travel & have very good careers. I love the fact they are home saving money for their own homes in the next five years.

I have two biological kids and a bonus baby (my husband is almost 8 years older than me and came with a kid. He's 16 now and a blessing.) For my biological boys, I was 23 with the first and 26 with the second. I'm 32 now. The tradwife to antinatalist lady, i fully understand her. I support people who choose not to procreate. I love all my kids. I always knew I wanted kids. But, that being said, it's hard. Really hard and I don't blame anyone for opting out.

So is he considered a single dad by government because I’m sure his girlfriend helps out financially or with some sort of labor?

I'm 46. I had my son when I was barely 18. I had my daughter at 26. I love them both immensely, but I wish I would have never had children, or had them after figuring out my life first. I believed the whole "children are your entire purpose" bs, and raised them through constant struggle. My son is an injured army vet who just got HVAC certified, and my daughter is in college for graphic design, so they're both doing something with their lives. That's part of what consoles me that bringing them into THIS world wasn't a mistake. They are the biggest reasons why I'm very involved in politics and social issues. I need them to have at least a decent future.

I have one daughter and had her in my early 20s. She's a new 18 now and I see no more kids in my Future

I was 30, 31, and 33 when I had my kids. I knew that I wanted children. Unfortunately, I was a married single mother for a long time before I hit bottom and left. Btw, I am pretty sure the wife in that post was not a narc. There are very specific behaviors that happen that make you question your very reality. Its a total mind fork. He was too vague.

They say more involved fathers want fewer kids...I guess they know how much food and swimming pools cost

Having kids is massively expensive and incredibly heartbreaking, but it is so worth it if you are the right type of parent. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to, and have them if you do.

I started at 33, and am having another now at 42. It was a lot later than I wanted to start, but I was busy getting advanced degrees throughout my 20’s. Thank God I did, because my husband walked out after my 2nd was born, after draining my bank account, stealing my savings and leaving me with 2 under 2. Thanks to these degrees I was able to reenter the workforce, and after 4 years of really hard work, to get back on my feet and now get my dream job and a wonderful new life.

I had kids at 21 and then at 35. I got a 10 year IUD after the first.

I have one boy at 34 yo. I am done. Because i never wanted more than 2 if i find it hard to raise 1 child, i was not going to go for nr:2 or more hence why i started late as well. I planned my child. And noooooope, no regrets at all i am one and done. And noooope i donot care to have a girl. As long as it was healthy it was good enough for me. He will be 11 in september. I believe women should hold on with having second or more kids after 4 years. Why?? Because that is when reality hits you from all sides how hard work motherhood really is.

I had my first child at 17, 2nd at 22 and third at 30.

Single dad has 9/10 year old and is suddenly shocked at how much stuff costs for kids = he wasn’t doing much before he and mom split. Everything is expensive af and making everything work with $65k is tough in most places. Dang, ex must have been taking care of everything. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Burb, thanks for all your consistently wonderful content! No kids now and never having any myself.

Unironically, someone projecting and accusing someone else of being a narc, especially after they've had enough and finally left, is actually textbooks narcissistic behavior done to cope.

I have 1 child. I had him at 27. I'm not having any more children. I get the pleasure of being a single Mom who receives very little financial support and / or emotional or physical support from the other parent. However, even though I was already established in my career before he was born. We struggled for a few years. I am thankful we are in a much better place now. I definitely have single Mom PTSD. I love that kid and I don't regret having him.

Yes, i have 2 . I had them at the age of 19 and 24. I'm just like the women the post. DON'T DO IT

I do feel sympathy for this single dad but I also wonder at his incredulity at prices. I wonder if his wife had been the one not only doing all grocery shopping but also doing all the paying.

This entire comment section is full of people with GOOD sense!!! This was the most refreshing comment section I've read in a long time. Procreation rooted in all forms of stability has always been something I've been a strong advocate for but it wasn't well received amongst the people I was around. I was nearly encouraged to embrace the struggle and figure the rest out as I went along. I am so happy that my inner "shiiiiiiiit" was strong within me 😂. I would've been miserable just like them, and I'm certain that was the point!

If it’s true 50/50, 1000 is a lot. If he is truly 50/50. Maybe he has four kids. My friend is an awesome dad. He makes much more. Pays 600 a month. He absolutely has his kids 50/50. He also pays for cell phone, car insurance, and he got the car for his daughter. All on him. He buys their clothes , etc. and he pays for 60% of all medical bills. He works hard to get promoted and does side stuff when he doesn’t have kids to make more money to provide more for his kids. Every time he gets a raise, his ex goes for more money. He definitely understands the cost of kids. He loves it. He if fine with paying for his kids. He is proud of it. He’s that dad that lets all of the friends come over too. Every time his teenage kids are home, their friends show up and he feeds all of them. Some kids don’t want to go home because of their home situation so they spend the night. His kids feel like they visit their mom and live with their dad. I just wanted to send a nice story of what it can be like. I could not be friends with him if he was an absentee dad. In a nutshell, he’s the dad that lots of us wish we had. AND, he doesn’t expect accolades for doing what he should just be doing.

My father died of cancer at in his early 30s, leaving my mom with a pile of little kids. All of her daughters are childfree by choice and only one of her sons wanted kids. We saw that anyone could become a single parent and that it was constant labor and almost nothing for herself. All her expectations for her future fell apart. She had a professional degree and was able to get work as soon as the youngest was in school but it was a real financial struggle for many years. She was also impatient and abusive with the oldest daughter, who became her surrogate partner and unpaid intern while constantly criticized. Sort of happy ending: the kids all graduated university and have good lives and she got to a point where she had enough money to travel and do the other things she wanted. Still, I wouldn’t wish her life on anyone.

I am in my early 30s... the local public pool in Philly when I was 7-9 was like $3, at most $5. The state park pool was like $7- $10, depending on age.

I have one child. One and done. My pregnancy wasn't good and my birth story is very similar to yours Burb. I was 28.

I had my children at 17 & 20, and while having children so young did slow my train down, it did not derail my life. I graduated college at 29 & law school at 34. My kids are 32 & 29 and neither one has kids. I hope they keep it that way. This world SUCKS!

38, Single and child free!

I have no kids n don't want none especially since ppl on the internet with four kids said her kids don't shower well since they have a pool n been swimming that's technically a shower so I know she's checked out completely cause she said she let's them do whatever they want cause they don't listen anyways so I already know what that house smell like

14:38 When I readMy family is estranged and my wife never likes them. And he is the one trying to know if he or she is the narcissist ? He would have wanted his family to dissuade talk her if they were close enough. How do you call that in narcissistic behavior? Sending his flying monkeys. So answer for him: You are the narcissist man and I applaud that your wife was able to find the path to liberty !

I’m personally keeping it zero, no kids; because it wouldn’t be fair on any - hypothetical - child. The list is of why it would not be is long but just one of them? I have a documented ‘Way lower than average stress tolerance.’ I am an anxious mess who wouldn’t manage handling the thought of letting my child out of my sight. Does anyone think that would lead to a happy, healthy, human? I do not. And that’s barely scraping the surface. I stick with my fluffy children. I hold no issues with either of my younger sisters who has kids, they do them and I do me; I love my nieces and my nephew a lot. I just have the ability to self reflect and see that’s not a path for me to walk. They found it to be a path for themselves to walk and I’m happy for them!

Story #1: Hey dudes, welcome to our world! You're not sucking it up very well, either! Now try doing the same thing on a 25% lower salary, too! 🤣🤣🤣

Question of the day answer: I had kids at 27 and 30. That was a good stage of life for me to have kids and luckily I'm happy with the way my life turned out. A lot of it has to do with being very fortunate in my partner. The truth is we never know for sure who a man will turn out to be until we are already married and have children. An apparently supportive partner can turn into an entirely different person once children arrive. But thank goodness that my husband has been a wonderful husband and father. He has shared the work load with me equally and that makes all the difference.

I choose to be child free but I can understand the fear of raising girls . That's a really tough thing to do.

GIRL THIS MAKES MY SOUL SMILE!!!

Had baby boy at 23 and baby girl at 26. I’m 55 now. Also…If in an emergency on a plane, you are supposed to give yourself oxygen BEFORE assisting anyone else, why doesn’t that apply for everything else? ESPECIALLY having a child???

Regretful divorce guy: "My wife is surrounded by her family and friends. I personally have no friends of my own. Is she a narc?" 🤔

Wow, I did not expect to see a trad wife turned AN post today but it makes total sense. To anyone interested, there's a channel I like called Stop Having Kids if anyone wants to check it out.

One of my guilty pleasures is watching these short form (primarily) Chinese dramas. A lot of them feature ridiculous storylines of a man seriously misunderstanding their wife, using that as an excuse to abuse her, then being shocked pikachu face when they eventually get divorced. Only after divorce do these fictional men FINALLY realize they were wrong about their wife (aka they finally use a brain cell to think about things), then dramatically chase and try to win back their ex wife… after abusing her for years. I still find these stories ridiculous, but it’s truly psychotic that the fiction is I my slightly more dramatic and outrageous than real life. Why feel bad about all the things you did wrong after pushing your spouse to the point of divorce??

⚠️This is a long one: I have 0 kids. Thought I would want them but very much on the fence now; But my feet are on the CF side. I’m more open to adoption or being a step parent in VERY specific circumstances. Thought of starting in my 20s. As I started to blossom, I realized there was so much more to life that I wanted to explore, and my conscience would never let me be the kind of mom that neglects her go “do me”. I pushed the age to 30s, I’m almost there and I’m still like “hellll naw” 😂 Also, not to get dark, but after experiencing a traumatic loss, I think about death so much more than I did before. I always said I don’t know how to process it-mostly because I never went to funerals or experience close losses throughout my childhood-and I couldn’t have been more right. It will be 2yrs in august since I lost my friend. If I wasn’t already in therapy, idk how the hell I would have coped tbh. I still can’t wrap my head around it. Now, I think about it all the time; My passing, my parents’, unexpected passings. All the things you have to do afterwards. The grieving. Idk if I could forgive myself for making my child feel this way too. That was kind of the final straw that pushed me to being 95% sure I wont have bio kids. I know a lot of my feelings are exacerbated by trauma, but I think they’re still valid. I could see myself raising children that didn’t come from me, because they’re already here and deserve a home too That’s my depressing TedxTalk y’all 😂