1 - Self blame self loathing 2 - Incredible sense of loss 3 - Anxiety 4 - Reduced self esteem

Cheaters own all of the betrayal. They are broken trash. Its nothing you did or could have done. They are 100% responsible.

One of the worse things you can do to someone is cheat 😞

I cried my eyes out for a couple days when I found out my girl had cheated on me at the job we both worked at. Ain’t nothing wrong with being hurt and letting that out.

I am enough. I am enough!!!!!

Reading these comments make me feel very scared of commitments and relationship. If cheating can happen after 30-40 years of marriage, then what's the point of marrying!

It should be talked about more. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. Even worse than death at times. Not just in marriage but serious long term relationships too. Happened twice now..just too much.

I didn't blame myself. I wasn't the one who cheated.

Interestingly after my wife's adultery my self esteem didn't suffer around other people, but it suffered when I was around her. When she's not there I feel confident and secure, while around her I feel self-conscious and small. It's very strange, it has been a few years and I'm usually happy to see her and I care about her, but I still feel insecure and unimportant.

My heart goes out to this young man. My wife of over 30 years,raised 5 beautiful kids together. Left the family this time last year for another man. It really hurt me deeply. All of these points your talking about are so true. I started getting counseling when she left and it has helped so much. Encourage this young man to work on both his mental health and physical health,it pays off.

The same thing happened to me after 38 years. It's hell to go through. I never imagined my wife would do such a thing.

My beautiful bride of 12yrs cheated on me. She is actually out of town with him right now! Cuts to the core! Makes me never want to put myself in this situation again! I own a business and she works for me so we still seen each other quiet a bit and had big plans! I'm not one to move forward from it. I honestly feel like she's someone else's now! It's one of the most hurtful things I've ever been though/going through! I feel deeply for those of you going thru this! Prayers! 😔

I’m in shock because I thought she was depressed so I spent months helping her and she was sleeping with another. She was my best friend. We never fought

My self esteem wasn’t so good before the relationship. She was beautiful. Made me feel alive again. Then she cheated now I’m back to feeling like shit. And worse than before. Idk. Just try to be patient

#4 really resonates with me. After i was cheated on i developed body dismorphia and started doing steroids cause i felt like i was cheated on because i wasnt good enough. Still struggling hard with this it robbed me of all self esteem and confidence. Before this happened i was very good at talking to women and had very high confidence. Now i can't even approach a woman without being overwhelmed by crippling anxiety that im not good enough for her to bother with me. Its so hard this has seriously damaged me emotionally and psychologically

"You still have to walk through hell to get out" You're saying it so well, it's so painful to realize the man (in my case) you loved has been lying, coniving, cheating, has betrayed your trust, has been slandering, gossiping about you behind your back to someone you don't know; the disrespect, disregard. The one you thought was your lover isn't, has never been. It's all a lie, and on top in spite of proof (taped conversations) he still denies, pretending he was just talking to a childhood friend, it's not what you think, you're misinterpreting, etc, etc, the lying never ends, he digs himself in deeper and deeper. The hurt to your soul is unbearable. The tears never stop, you find yourself suddenly crying without even knowing how it started. Sam Vaknin has a good video on the subject of adultery.

My heart melted when you spoke up for us dudes. Thank you. Subbed

My wife recently did this dirty deed to me and the kids...she monkey branched within days of telling me she wanted out...I looked at her and thought I've been living with a liar ... I've not shed a tear which is making me worried that I might be cold hearted...I forgave her the last time but now I feel nothing it's as if my humanity and warmth have disappeared into a void of nothingness...wish I could cry and cleanse my grief but I just can't...I feel inhuman!

An affair never really ends psychologically to the one cheated on and the cheater remembers it forever with fondness and this fact influences his/her behavior which means the affair partner is always in your marriage. It never ends!

This was amazing to hear as a husband who has been cheated on. I am three years from D-Day and can relate to all of what you're talking about.

I was cheated on by the same woman, both dating and married. The biggest regret was not leaving her right there and then. We did split up years later, but now with a child involved.

Currently going through this devastation and the pain is so great … I feel physically sick and wish I could crawl into bed and die !! But I’m a mum and I have to be here for my children… I feel so ugly …. And so low 😢 I am in the self blame stage and it’s disgusting…. I don’t want to be here … I feel like I’m grieving the life I should have had with husband and our children… now it’s been destroyed… The grief and anxiety is so intense … the guilt for my children and what their dad has done to our family is overwhelming….

thank you - I was about to do really bad things to myself, drinking, doing whatever I wanted but this video gave me perspective, thank you!

You talk about working less? We were 3 days away from closing on a house, when she came home and announced she gave up her management job to go back on the front desk (a pay reduction of 700 a month). I had to take the extra work to pay the bills, or walk away from the deal and lose 24k (I should have, I ended up losing a 1/4 mil). My working 80 hours a week was her excuse, and going back on the front desk where she met him. It lasted 4 months and ended with a date rape. Imagine learning your wife was date raped 30 miles from home while your at work ... I loved her so much ???

Nobody is going to want to hear this but one thing in consideration of what shocked your whole being is that now that other person IS inside of you sort of an extra terrestrial that’s one reason in my opinion why the hurt can be so deep because of unauthorized person

Jesus.....Young 22yr old afyer a 3year Relationship....finally catching her Cheating....staying n waiting on change then getting cheated on during that time is Horrendous. I gave her Everything, everyone Hates her, I can't begin to explain it. I avoided women while she spent time with Him. I'll get over it though, the year my sister had a tumor, my light got cut, eviction notice, my BSF of 9 years died..... I'm here with a different strength. I'm gonna get over it though....I always do.

They always think the individual can do better, when they don't.

Would anyone consider going to see an ex as cheating? My wife currently had gone to see her ex-boyfriend to get a (gift) she says. It was a candle 🕯 but i was away with the Army. I've struggled with that for about 3 years now

Survivor of NPD abuse here, i have been cheated on multiple times in the same relationship (i found out abt all of the guys she cheated with at the same time) but i knew, she was the bitch there. Because she gaslit me, mistreated me, manipulated me and emotionally abused me, meanwhile i was giving everything to communicate and help. She gave subtle hints that something was off, leaving me in the dark, making me suspect things (in order to stop me from logical thinking) and when i tried seeking reassurance in a calm way, i got called controlling and appearantly accused her of cheating (i didn’t accuse her, i simply asked for reassurance and put it in a way that signalized that i didn‘t trust that worry). The relationship lasted for a year, first 5 months were entirely love bombing, the other part was complete drawback with occasional love bombing phases (that lasted for a day) And when i found out about the cheating, i felt so relieved, and i knew damn well i was the genuine and better one in the relationship. I felt that she just made a huge loss, and that i got a new chance to find genuine love

My ex fiance dumped me a week before the wedding. I didn't know it at the time, but he had knocked up his secretary. I think she baby trapped him.

this is the first time I stumbled upon your video. I commented just to say thank you.

Thank you for this. Very healing ❤️‍🩹

I'm going through the anger phase , not at my husband I already went through that with him , but to the woman that he cheated with. Because she has moved on to someone else to do the same thing to.

Just found out that I got cheated on in a 7 year relationship 💔😭 I’m torn

My ex accused me of cheating when I never did. He told his friends, my friends and my family about it. He also told me that his ex cheated on him but later he himself told me that she was talking to a guy but not cheating. Sometimes I wonder if people assume that their partners cheated on them, like my ex did.

So with my situation, I was with my girlfriend and she was going through breast cancer. Now the whole time she was in love with a coworker and cheating with him in every way possible. Then he decided to end the affair he was married also by the way, and he told her basically she was nothing to him. Just before she had to have surgery and have one of her breast removed. I told her when she tried to do all the sudden love me and want to be with me forever, I said, why would I wanna be with a one titted freak?

Living in TRUTH. ❤️ RELIEF!!!!

emotions are always real

Most excellent work ! Thank you for this !

Number 4 is a tough one to get over.

If someone cheats ONCE there is a 350 per cent chance, they’ll do it again. In the stats: research it. Wish I knew this years ago.

This is spot on! thanks

Cheating is far too soft a term.

Thank you ❤

It is pretty difficult to prove that a wife is cheating in the first place. She can be absent, coming late home. She can start letting her go and gain lots of weight. Perhaps the woman could also look in the mirror?

My ex girlfriend cheated on my multiple times with multiple different guys I found out that she was cheating on me from the day we made started talking she then started dating one of the guy she cheated on me with she then cheated on him with me so I stopped talking to her I later found out that she's been cheating on him with other guys, she's that bad that she went to his birthday on the Thursday and met up with a different guy the next day.. she blamed everything on me made it seem like I was the problem but I was never the problem and I finally realize that I was never the problem, she recently tried to talk to me again but I said sorry we should just stay as strangers lol

I hate my husbandand ill never forgive him!

I went through all these phases but in a different Oder

Ma'am, the audio volume is too low.

I’m so distraught right now. Myself and my wife have not been in a good place for years. We finally separated 7 months ago and got our own separate places to live. We’ve kept a decent friendly relationship with a few arguments here and there. For the last 4-5 months we have talked about seeing other people. She’s told me repetitively that I need to. She’s said it when she was angry and she said it in times when she was not. Well I finally started talking to other women and went on a date last week. She found out by snooping through my privacy and it caused huge issues. Like she’s really hurt and I’m so hurt for it. I feel at my lowest and she’s certainly making sure of that too.

Definately more women cheat

Question: is 18 years of a husband watching porn cheating? It was supposed to be over every time we talked about it over this time frame? I'm heartbroken and I do love my husband of 37 years but .....

Both wives cheated on me, and full blown PTSD was the result. But ya know what.. both really were my fault. I wore the nice guy who can forgive anything suit so well it gave the greenlight. Eventually tossed them both. Learn about masculine femenine roles and stay in your masculine. Make it clear to your partner whenever necessary, that you have zero tolerance. I will throw you out on your ass. Period. Watch that woman dote on you after you let her know she can be replaced, youre man enough to do it, and you have options.

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