Yes! Syrupy sweet to your face, but you keep finding these knives in your back... 🤔

Yep once a target always a target.

Yes. Black & white thinking!!

I went back thinking I could deal from a distance being aware of the situation. I came seconds away from losing my life to her flying monkeys. BE CAREFUL PEOPLE!! This is for Real!!!!

It’s unfortunate. I think that is why many of us wait for it. We wait for the upcoming attack or bad news.

First : No relationship! Ignore them 100%

One of the most accurate statements I've ever seen. Exactly the truth.

The definition of cPTSD

Oh yeah

with lemon juice in them.

So sad , especially when kids are involved. They’ll try to turn the kids against you😢

​@@maggiemay8622I pray for all children hearts, minds, souls and spirits. That they be able to see clearly and the acts of the evil narcissist and that it is revealed to the children...so the narcissist has no power to change their love for the person/ person's the narcissist is trying to turn them against. We live in an evil world. Mankind has allowed evil to rule their hearts, let us pray for God's mercy now and do it together. In Jesus name 🙏

And then they will beat your heart into the ground like Neegan did to Abraham's head. There's no grace in the breakup or the loss. They have to destroy you to make you worthless to them so they can walk away. Then, even still, they will come back around to either get you back or to engage you once again.

What relationship? You're dealing with a bizarre mental case.

I like the term murdered. It fits. Also because their slander and false witness is murder in their hearts. Defamation is like murder, even according to the bible.

I push many people to be financially stable because growing up I saw the evils of depending on 'family'.

Financial stability - gets you sent to a psych ward 1 month before shooting your frst indie film and have staff bend your arm because you were gripping your cellphone hoping to warn your production manager. After the abuse months later (6) staff will invent stories on how you were clawing one of the staff. Reporting to the psychiatrist of the psych ward gets an I'm sorry but no repercussions. Solid state group of friends - every good friend I had basically told me they would pray for me when the ambulance staff had been contacted. Post-psychiatric ward release, they either don't reply or say they are sorry for the situation. Self care - Magnesium, banned by psychiatrist of one of the 6 psych wards I am in. Request for xylitol - it's just a sugar free alternative. APAP for sleep apnea? Why don't you lie on one side of the bed? I thought it was your teeth that was the issue. The psychiatric drug we're providing you is a super magnesium alternative for your sleep. You are still young. Strong sense of self - injected with Seroquel for defending a recently admitted patient after being mugged by 2 nurse and 4 nursing staff or attendants. Said patient weeks later? Was sent on a stretcher for a psychiatric drug intoxication because the ward wouldn't release her and insisted they could buy an IV bag and keep her admitted on it.

Yes parents can use money to keep control

​@@icalotdonthide2646I wish I'd met you earlier in my earning cycle - I was gaslit for years by too many "friends & family" whom Dr. Ramani described in one of her other videos who literally say things like "Lalala I don't really want to hear about this it's such a downer and you must be imagining it" -- so you're twice traumatized because there's nowhere else to go for support when you suspect a narcissist to whom basically the whole world continues to INSIST to you that you have family obligations may be stealing from you. Not everyone is so fortunate to get an early education in financial independence or even basic finance - in part because lots of people in the world do not want certain people to know anything about money. I've been told I didn't need to know anything about money; all I needed to know was my profession -- I was also told "people like me" weren't expected to know anything about money or "weren't entitled to learn anything" about it -- and I was told that by more than one person, as well. Like perhaps a whole lot of things when it comes to the issue of narcissistic abuse -- learning what we as survivors need to know about it and ourselves and our needs isn't quite as easy as it looks when so many in the world would rather we stay in varying degrees of perpetual ignorance and servitude because they believe it serves THEM (but not us).

​@@trinap.8904They can even steal it from you

Same situation and I’ve cried so many tears as this is my only adult child

@@lori6156They’re adults. They’ve fledged. Now it’s time for you to grow up and become one yourself. *They owe you nothing.*

​@lori6156 When the narc is your only child and you were the only parent, it's a super special pain. You know you had a part in creating the monster, and you want to help until the fangs are sinking into you. I've had to accept that as the closest person in his life I really don't matter except to be supply.

I can't wait to be where you are. I'm still going thru the embers

Good for you.....God Bless!❤

Thank you for this message of support which is much needed. I appreciate it so much 🙏

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is thoughts like this that help us to realize we are important and worthy to be loved and respected by others, and if not it is ok to detach and disengage. It is ok for us to love ourselves instead of putting the needs of others who have toxic traits ahead of our own wellbeing.

@@lizwilliamson8332 Sending you an embrace of strength and a beacon of light on your journey ahead. 🙏🏻 May each step bring you closer to peace and healing. 💕

@@Kateunitedkingdom2923 That means a lot to me. I’m going to hang onto those words to give me hope. Thank you so much 🙏

They were drawn to what they perceived as weaknesses and the realization that they are not worthy of that/you.

That was a really hard lesson, when they're acting kind and/or interested, or concerned. They're hoovering you back in to destroy you again. Put on your armor and never let down your guard. Or better yet, sometimes retreat is the best option.

Facts. They want to know your business and then use it against you

I had learned at a young age to downplay my fun and accomplishments around my mother and sister. Sharing any of that fun would ignite jealousy and cause them to come up with a scheme to ruin my good feelings or fun. Classic “joy stealing”

It's sad when one's own parents are the narcissists . My mother wasn't very supportive , but I blame it on ignorance and being depressed herself. She rather rarely told me something really hurtful ( like once telling me that instead of bringing her to love me, I make her hate me when I was misbehaving once ( I think) or sometimes ironically telling me " cuz you're smarter" ( since I was way more booksmart than her). Mostly it was indifference. But it still was painful. But your own mom actively trying to make you suffer? I can't imagine how traumatizing that must be!

Yes! I do that and immediately ask "how about you? What's new in your life?" He immediately then slides into his comfort zone of telling me someone "important " that he had lunch with. I then go back to just being there until the time comes to end the visit.

No be there for each other ❤️

​@@katrinaquick8834Are you referring to a narcissist being there for you?

Not sometimes, it is ALWAYS better to walk away, block them, and never answer them or look back ever again!! This is not a game, this means your life!

Good luck with that! If you live together, they will follow you room to room. You'll have to leave the house and eventually you'll have to come back and they'll pick up where they left off, arguing with you all night. But while you were out they were crying on some else's shoulder and cheating on you.

​@@Spartan7646Well yeah, no shit that's difficult. That's why Dr. Ramani always puts a caveat in her stance on No Contact. It's not always possible for people to do because of living, work, or financial circumstances. It IS the best solution for sure, but not everyone has the luxury of leaving and going no contact. I'm really sorry you are going through this and I hope some day you have the means to leave or find a group of people to lean on while you endure the narcissist in your life. Finding people who understand your situation and empathize with you is crucial to staying sane while you deal with an abusive person. I hope you find those people in your life and in the meantime you are always welcome in online communities like this one ❤ There's a subreddit called r/raised by narcissists and they have helped me through a lot of tough times dealing with my parents before I could cut them out. Sometimes just reading other people's stories can be very validating.

That's growth. That's beautiful. We are growing up and doing the work to see what doesn't serve us or a healthy relationship. We cab do this, the Narc cannot.

I do understand this. I am having to think and refrain from sharing so much about myself with others. This is a struggle for me as I have to be aware of it, but it is a skill that I will accomplish.

Another army brat here and I'm exactly the same. It's a huge life lesson to pull back and pay attention before being my usual friendly self.

Ive same issue i offerred to find cheap attorney for zero speaking foreigner ..he disrespected almost to a point of misdeamoner im calling INS and getting him kicked back to hellhole he came from 😊💃

I can relate to feeling comfortable with strangers and opening up too fast. But think of it like a mother towards her child. She would protect her and redirect her from this behaviour until she learns proper discernment. Having full trust in those who haven't proven themseves worthy is dangerous. The good news is we can change especially if our behaviour isn't serving us. The Covert Narc with the disorder cannot.

Yep I was thinking the same! 🤣

😂😂😂 for sure

😂😂😂 OMG facts!

This made me laugh. Needed that. 😂 Thanks

😂

Be wise as a serpent...and gentle as a dove. MATTHEW 10:14

It's a fine line to walk for sure but it's something everyone should learn how to do.

These people don’t do grey areas-which is where most of adult lives for *real adults* takes place.

@youngblood8540, Yes, It's so important to be aware, and fix one's inner game ahead of time to avoid entanglement. I'm trying to teach myself some slippery tactics while still being a decent person and not allowing myself to retaliate or harm anyone else.

BUT, How can I find no contact while I live with flying monkey. Husband to sister. He has help create this monster.

….and you’re just kicking the can of allllll your experience with them down the road.

That benefit of the doubt ,common kindness in humanity to our fellow man way of living???? The narcissist zeros in on those traits and counts on them in manipulating and controlling you in the future. Sad.

@user-jb7pn9bm8w Yeah, I believe in giving the benefit of a doubt, but it can't be an ongoing effort with a narcissist. They see it as a weakness.

Ain’t that the truth!

Bravo

Respond Why to anything she says or say it doesnt matter or whatever😂

well something certainly happened + you don’t want any part of it. Mazel Tov

God bless you, peanut💖

😢

Tbh I never feel 100% safe because narcs know where I live. What will stop them from travelling here and making a scene?🤦🏻‍♀️so far I just hope that they have better things to do.

At least your husband supported you on this. Mine would never do this.

Thank God your husband backed you up. If he hadn't, what do you do? Maybe spend that time with a relative or friend. Maybe book a vacation? And what if they make sure they're there the day you return? Turn around and go to a hotel or hostel or in town friend? Narcissists love taking for free and while making sure you spend and spend.

@@cb9825 I have that concern, too. My narc travels and visits relatives and tells them he hates me. But when I come home to visit my parents whom he lives with, he disappears for the week I'm in town. Then miraculously I'll get a call from parents an hour after I've left that he's returned. So he'll be wherever he wants to be when ever he wants to be there. He has a traveling nurse job. He's currently plundering my parents estate and attorney doing nothing. How am I to know whether he decides to come to my state and plunder me next. I'd probably never know until it's too late.

@@cb9825Of course they’re going to make a scene-*but it’s them making the scene, not YOU!* This behavior reflects *very poorly on THEM, not YOU!* Do not respond. Ever. Call LEO and tell them you have a stalker/harasser who has been told IN WRITING (make sure you get it in writing, my friend) to never contact you in any way again. If you have a parent of this ilk they sure will come after you because they see you as a possession, not a person. Please make an informal in person visit to your local LEO to give them a heads up. If it’s a parent, they lost custody of you the day you became a legal adult.

EVERY normal behavior I acted with was twisted back to me as if they were behaviors of a crazy monster. He said that I was Jeffrey Dahmer and he was a little boy locked in my closet. I had one time told him that his lack of attention and interest in me caused me to feel like I may as well be a little boy (as A-sexual as possible in his eyes). I literally think he threw out this barb...to take what I said to him and throw it back at me.

I'm a jovial person happy for everyone's accomplishments. I have a habit of sharing good news example a friend bought a house, graduated etc. This person said I always,"Compared him to others not making feel like a man" rational for have dozens of affairs.

totally. being genuinely nice to them forces them to feel their own inability to treat people well, they hate it more than anything. i've actually kind of developed a practise around this because it's a win-win for me: i get to behave the way i enjoy behaving and i also get to show them that they can't make me into one of them. it's difficult because they have worked hard to get me off that path with ridicule and aggression, so there is a lot of trauma to deal with, but it's hugely rewarding. be kind out of spite.

another tactic that i've recently discovered and which requires a level of security which not everybody has so be careful with it, is: actively replacing their dismissive and unkind responses with what i would have said in their stead. like out loud, for them to hear. for example when i tell them about something good in my life, and they barely react and try to change the subject as quickly as possible, i take the time to congratulate myself on their behalf. the way this puts them in their place, makes them shut up and grapple with their conflicting emotions is just delicious to me. but again: careful to not put yourself in danger!

also it has the same double win aspect because coming up with the things i put in their mouths requires me to practise and reclaim my own sense of worth.

Beware of tragedy infiltration. What I mean is they’ll turn up at your lowest to destroy you more, I know, when my son died they destroyed my career and relationships by finding out my new life after no contact for over 30 years. Please beware. Keep them away forever

U are enough!!!! Humans will deceive u. U are a whole❤

oh yes, especially the taking up new interests is a big win for me. being safe from their trying to take away and tear apart anything i love all the time, is the absolute best. well done ❤

You are so fortunate

Yes, this! Its true!

It seems like eventually their mud becomes obvious to Ed everyone they lied to.

Nothing stops them they are psychic boomerangs

Yeah

It is true. They bring out the worst in you which is your reactive self or the response you give because you feel like you’re going crazy and they’re dead calm when it’s them that started and continue on and on.

@@vinuthakunapareddy5628 ok

Narc's only come around when they want something.

Good to remember that. Thanks!@@qua7771

Sorry youre mum did tjis to you mine told me no one could putnupmwith me over and over I've forgive. Her now but it did affect me for years

Yep. "No one likes you" "Everyone agrees with ME" ' You are crazy.. you are psychotic "

relatable 💓

They are exactly psychological hackers. Build secure firewall to protect yourself 🙂

Metaphoric vernacular became my saving grace years ago for communicating. Dr Ramani captured that nicely.

I didn’t know this soft spoken, handsome, educated, caring man was a narcissist, aka user of people. During the first year together he asked too many personal questions. He was interested in my life and felt I needed to share and shouldn’t have secrets. (Except for him). I was being interrogated and felt uncomfortable. Again, he loved me so much and was going to spend his life with me (draining me in every way). I didn’t realize then that he was the worst computer virus I would ever encounter. A live virus that took information and twisted it for future manipulation. A lethal virus so hard to delete. So loving, manipulative, such an emotionally disturbed life sucker. The mind games. The lies. The confusion. The ruthless using of another human in the disguise of love and caring. Who does that? For my health I’ve gone no contact for almost a year now and I’m healing. Dr Ramani’s videos have been a lifeline and I’m so very grateful. I’m hoping one day he won’t even enter my thoughts. He doesn’t even deserve that. I wish I knew about people like him and the warning signs early on. But oh the love bombing really has you shrouded in a love cloud. Thank you Dr Ramani.

Thank you and Amen.

Nothing to add, you all reading this take care of yourselves 😎

What a heartfelt, kind and compassionate comment… a good example of what is woefully lacking in the world right now… God bless you 🙏🏻

Thank you so much for your gentle, healing words and your kindness!🙏 I really needed to hear that, and the world could use a little more ❤ - there's never enough !! Be blessed my friend

Thank you. Same back to you as well. Blessings to you.

Awesome! Thank you.

TYVM, this is very helpful.

Thank you for this outline✍️✒️🗃️

Perfect.

Thank you

You are not alone, even though it can feel like that at times. It's wonderful that you are still working- keep putting your money away and stay on the down low until you can get out (emotionally and financially). It's not healthy for you to be in that toxic environment. I was a stay at home mom for 22 yrs, didn't work/have a career, and catered to/supported a narc husband who kept moving up the corporate ladder, and is now a CEO. Makes tons of money and while I was at home raising kids, depressed, etc., he was making new friends, having affairs, and creating a new life for himself that didn't include me. Never told me he was thinking or feeling this way. Kept up his fake, 'devoted husband and father' act for many years. When I finally woke up to his nonsense and called him out (cheating, lying, etc), he discarded me and asked for a divorce. After 30+ yrs together. Although I don't regret being home and raising my kids, I do wish I had stayed employed (even part-time) throughout that time and established my own bank account, kept my independence, etc. I lost myself and many years of my life bc I was under the spell of someone I loved unconditionally and with all of my heart, and who I thought felt the same. He didn't. I will never allow myself to be fooled like that again; please don't put up with it in your life, either. You are worth way more than that. Start living your best life. Peace.

I completely understand and unfortunately I will probably die in this toxic marriage due to chronic illness and overall mental health issues. I believe if I had been working or we had money I definitely would’ve left as soon as my kids grew up unfortunately I allowed to let my situation cripple my life. 🤞✌️❤️Goodluck 🌹

Hugs. My reality is similar, I am stuck in his country, no family or friends. Here even the police and the local court protects the abuser even in physical violence cases, just because he is a national citizen and the victim is a foreigner. I have been trying to leave him and filling police forms with my face in blood for 5 years. I will probably die under his control and by his violence and they all will call it "an accident". No, running back to my country is not an option, as I would have to abandon our 4 years old child, and I am definitely not leaving him alone with his sick narcissistic father. Hugs to all you still stuck with a narcissist.

I don’t have friends or family nearby so I am stuck. I just disengage. I only talk to him when I need to. Depending what I say, I get a lot of verbal abuse, like I did last night. He said I don’t know anything and I talk rubbish etc. sone days I wish he would go, more because I am stuck. Gray rock it is for me.

It's contradicting to say you gray rocked them for a month then you contacted them and was blasted by them.

@@user-zy3zd3sx2d I just figured that by giving them some space they would have cooled down.

I can relate to your situation. A neighbour who pretended to be my "friend", occasionally goes to a coffee shop where I go as well. Everytime he happens to be there, if he's alone I act like if he's invisible. If there are other people that I know with him, I say hello to everyone and move on. To be honest I don't even care whether the guy is a narcissist or not, despite the fact that he seems to have some traits associated. The guy never dared to approach me, since I cut him off. A true friend doesn't talk behind your back about personal affairs to other people, so he can keep talking, because I don't give a f**k.

Good for you.

Excellent job! Keep up the good work! 💪

Recommendation: work multiple jobs until you can afford to move

It's so strange to see a specific joy in their eyes once you get emotional and react to their provocation, isn't it? I still can't comprehend it.

​@@OnlyOneNameI'm no specialist but I would guess that if someone is at war within, they will look for this to be reflected back on the outside. They'll be attracted to it. Someone peaceful and stable would make them feel unattracted at best, nauseous at worst, they want to meet combative, chaotic, crazy. They don't want to meet joy, peaceful, rational because it's so far away from their subconscious comfort zone, it's just not energetically attractive.

The high is in provoking a reaction. It's the pay off for them being manipulative. Supply is their drug of choice.

Wow, so very true! My ex husband was the same way! It's very evil. I don't get how anyone like that could ever be genuinely happy. So sad

​​@@VW-uq5jnMine too. He would get a little smirk, puff his chest out, and his eyes would become completely dark. He would stare at me, emotionless (while I was sobbing and in obvious pain), and calmly tell me I was crazy and needed professional help. I put up with over 30 years of this crap, because I thought it was normal and didn't want to break up my family. I was wrong and should have stopped it much sooner. It was amazing to watch- never saw anything like it. To this day I can't comprehend how a supposed human being could treat another person this way. I really believe that the wiring in our brains that regulate compassion, empathy, and morality, is either severely broken or missing completely in these folks; they are like AI. Sad and scary.

Also known as fear of a narcissist retaliating. They do that even when there are no grounds. Become invisible.

I was in a relationship with a narc. It took me about 2 months to realize what he was all about. The bad thing was I had relocated from another state to be with him in 2011. I saved enough money to move to Wa to be near my daughter's family in 2013. Once I moved into my new apt I started having strange symptoms. I knew it was finally over and that I was safe, but I fell apart emotionally. I knew it was probably PTSD, but I didn't seek help. Eventually I over came the symptoms. But, it was a huge struggle. I wish you the best in your healing ❤️

Doing the only holiday thing with your mom is best, otherwise people come up to you acting like your terrible for neglecting your mom, she will play it, this way you don’t have that problem

Your personal spin on "no contact" sounds very successful! Great Job in finding a workable solution!

I love the way you explain that there's a difference between anxiety and feeling scared. I am working through my own stuff and will try using this kind of awareness on myself. I've spent many years not knowing my feelings at all. Thank you for sharing 💕

I like the way you deal with people. I used to think that a balanced approach was appropriate, but sometimes it's just not possible. You seem to be better safe than sorry, and if that's the case, kudos to you.

That's insightful, that's how I feel around my mother, like an anxious incapable jellyfish. When she isn't there I feel safer and more relaxed and just get on with things. Pretty sure it's not normal for a mother to provoke anxiety and insecurity. Same with my father but he is easier to ignore. My mother in contrast is nosey! Grey rock didn't work because she is so closed and unreadable she spotted the technique. Yellow rock and firewall is my combo. No contact would be my preference but they live just a street away. Had I woke up decades ago I'd have been long gone. She wants me as supply, not for who I am, such a tough realisation.

I’m so happy for you that your sister sees it. One of mine was the golden child and the other the flying monkey. Now they are carrying on the behaviors our parents modeled for us and scapegoating me in adulthood. It’s really such a sad situation. I kept hoping someday they would go to therapy but instead they have each other to support the belief that everything was normal. I continue to work in therapy to have a beautiful life always hopeful they might join me someday.

​@@dnk4559 i'm so sorry about that! i truly believe that my golden child baby brother coming around to see my side saved my life. it's incredibly validating and healing to give back too: help him realise that his role was no less an emergency response than mine and they actually harmed him just as much as me ❤

I can so relate. Ugh...

@@kathrynbaker7529 (((((kathryn!!!!)))))

Relatable 🎯

Emotional slave is exactly right. Hard labour from sunup to sundown with nothing on return

Your beautiful

I tried to help her. Offered my time, and skills to help her clean/fix her house. She would decline saying I'd use my help as leverage to punish her later in an argument. She would accuse me of sleeping around, lying, & with holding secrets. I never knew when the next attack was coming? It could be hours, or days? She would attack my hobbies and hated me spending time to myself. She would remind me of the bad behaviors from past fights saying I created each one, or ruined her time, work events, or sleep. She would always set the bar higher then the last moment for sex, projects, or events. I started to see it was a one sided relationship and pulled back my attention, and that's when I noticed her start to lose interest. The fights were less, and her focus became more on herself. Eventually becoming non existent. The push pull effect created psychological damage to my thought process. I'm trying to get myself back to how I was. I gained weight, and spent all my time focusing on her. She used to call and a text alot and that kept me busy enough but now it feels empty. My only guess is she probably found a new supply since I haven't heard from her in 2 weeks. It's sad in that time she never sent me a birthday message on the 3rd. With all that said, she said I play the victim for attention and she never takes accountability for her bad behavior and it was me sabatoging it. I know that's NOT the truth but it hurts how she believes he own lies and put my best effort into making it work.

I'm sorry for your struggles.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Maybe sent your daughter an apology letter saying how much she means to you and you really miss her but you want to give her the time she needs? When something like this happened to me, it was important to me to hear the other person say they just made a mistake and that I'm important to them. I really hope she turns arround 😘

@@ZeepjeliefsAgreed.

I'm so sorry. The same has happened to me with my adult daughter. I haven't talked to her for months. It's an unimaginable grief. 😢

@@11GodsGirl11So was your daughter’s who suffered for decades as a result of your pattern of behavior.

Ultimately, family is people who really care about you. Not necessarily connected by blood ties.

@@vitormonteiro7313 True, but in my situation I can't have 1 parent who's negative and the other who's positive. It puts stress on my mental health so him disowning me is on him.

Same here. Narcissistic people bring drama and stress into relationships. No contact was my only option.

@costelloandlizzievolk2233, I can sympathize, as I have a similar out of control sister in law. Yes! You DO matter also! Maybe your family thinks like mine did: Our family was conditioned to accept any and all behavior from other people for the sake of "getting along". No matter how bad their behavior! I was the only one who wouldn't allow it. Consequently I was told I'm "hard on people". (!) (It's too much to go into here, but you wouldn't believe all of the mental torture my sister in law really enjoys putting people through for the purpose of dominating everyone around her. She really does love to see people squirm. Even her husband, my brother. He knows, but accepts it. I can't wait for her to die! She is almost 80, and has some inherited health problems, thankfully! 😂I'll be dancing on her grave!

Sounds like they desperstely want you to be there so THEY are not her new targets. Skip the dinner❤

Your family are a bunch of enablers. That’s not good.

Sometimes a good retaliation will at least give her reason to stop talking to you forever. These people are getting off on making others scared of them.

You did the right thing

What if that T shirt is interpreted as geriatric rock and roller? Either way, both are just fine. lol Keeping it gray.

@@user-zy3zd3sx2d LOL Cool!!! ... as an artist, personal interpretation works for me!Gray scale 😄

Fukn love it

@@dougcoleman8972 😄ty Doug

Good for YOU! Congratulations! This is absolutely tough to do-initially. It’s so sad to see adults in their 50’s, 60’s, 70s+ still struggling with these despicable “parents.” They never age gracefully-meaning they get even worse the older they get. They just don’t seem to understand “waiting for them to die” isn’t a “strategy,” it’s side stepping the Reality you have the Right and the Responsibility to protect yourself and your loved ones from known Predators. You only get to dance through this garden ONE TIME. And they absolutely *are* Predators of the most egregious variety: They cannibalize their own. Disgusting. Best wishes as you continue your journey, friend!

@@tundrawomansays694 Thanks

Thank you for sharing this

Congratulations on waking up and standing up for yourself. You deserve respect, civility and peace.

Mine instilled fear verbally with limited (but still horrible) physical violence, psychological torture and stalking.

I understand, I'm having to live with a narc family member until i can save enough money to move out. I will be going grey rock from here forward. They don't change.

Smart and prudent

My story sounds similar. When he died I felt nothing. Not happiness that he died but not saddened either. I just didn’t care about him one way or the other. I’m getting there with the current narcissist in my life but it is hard because I live with the flying monkey who keeps stirring the pot. Have totally lost any respect for this flying monkey. Have to be careful of any comment I say around them. Just wish he would go on and put his head up the narcissist a__ so far that he would never see sunshine again. She sadly really manipulates him so badly and all he can say is “yes honey”. It is really a sad mentally sickness situation.

You don't have to be a believer, but you may find what you need in words of Psalm 91.

Believe it or not, they truly can take care of themselves. Don’t kid yourself, they are fully capable of taking care of their needs or accessing Adult Services in the US if you live here. If your presence isn’t helping-you OR them-your absence won’t hurt. Here’s “permission” to walk away from an old widow broad if ya need it. Unlike wine, they do not get better with age.

Anger is a stage of grief. As a widow becoming disabled by my narcofascist bros., neither of my 2 main services are sufficient, for my needs.

Yes she is the best ❤ God bless her and everyone suffering in Jesus name Amen ❤

I felt for a long time my narcissistic ex was planning to kill us He would make it look like an accident I knew l had to leave to save the children and myself before something truly awful happened to us He was a very dangerous man

….and it will just become less and less and less….until the monster is so far in your rear view mirror you no longer “see” them. They don’t matter. Their opinions don’t matter. Their demands don’t matter. Their self-created “problems” don’t matter. Their evaluation of you is meaningless. Welcome home to you!

I had to walk away. No one respected me in my toxic family system. Disrespect in any relationship is unacceptable.

Be assured you are doing the right thing! If you go back to them on your doctor's or anyone else's urging you will be gravely ill treated by your abusers. The ones you distanced from will double down to hurt you for what you did to their egos. Going back will give them the sadistic pleasure they derive from destroying you and then they will cruelly discard you. So please don't go back. You can never go back😢❤😎G😢

@@gregpendrey6711 I won't, I'm doing so well.

I’ve been married to someone similar to your father for 24 years and have 1 daughter, I and our daughter have anxiety, we both just learned about narcissism less than 2 years, nobody will believe us because he’s kind and charming to outsiders.. he is very controlling/criticise/stingy/envy/greedy, every step he does is very calculated, he’s mask 100% fell off when my daughter starts her university life, he suddenly acts like a toddler full of rage, we tried to keep vigilant every day, try not to let him know our reaction/any feelings, because he’s capable to sabotage everything, we plan to leave him one day.. I hope you’re doing well and safe, I hope you’re mother is always on your side

@@penijoni1316 I relate to not being believed too. I began secretly recording his rants because I felt like he was planning something more extreme and I’d need to prove myself. This is all sad. And so they realize they can’t use away that which they claim to want above all else? Do they subconsciously do it? Is it the “I’ll hurt you first” mentality? We drive ourselves insane trying to understand. I hope for the best for you. It’s hard when they isolate is from our support. Stay teachable and integrative. These videos are a phenomenal resource.

@@erinward2983yes, we do recording also, I feel that this type of people are predators, they like to trap plus the mentality like you said ‘I’ll hurt you first!’ .. Dr. Ramani is the very first person teaching me about narcissism.. I wish all the best for you also..

❤

That's not love, you just described codependency and trauma-bond. DBT is a deep process, I wish it was more accessible.

My other narc siblings is in full love bombing mode with my parents after a significant abuse gesture that resulted in a huge lost of money 😢now he and his narc wife are using my dear niece's birthday to love bomb them and of course ignore my existence and live their "perfect without me" fantasie...Considering they've sabotaged the relationship with my parents in several occasions and the only reason they're alive and willing to talk to them is because I did the thankless and silent job of keeping my broken family together...At a huge cost to my health 😢 I'm so tired and feel emotionally bruised 😢

Please don't fool yourself as all nice people do. The older they gat the worse they are because they can solicit more sympathy by playing the elderly victim card. My 90 yr old MIL has managed in two years to turn my adult children and my husband of 43 years against me. She also launched a smear campaign to the rest of the family and friends. I was the one who felt sorry for her and is her carer. She has another 3 sons who do not share in her care at all

@@maralfniqle5092 I'm practicing radical acceptance thanks to Dr. Ramani...I know my parents where a part of the narcissism of my siblings, I know they're far from perfect but they're doing therapy, they've accepted a lot of responsibility, nevertheless that means sh*t to my narc siblings that want to, I guess, like, "suck them dry"? It feels very vampiric, it's weird and exhausting 🥺

As for this older person, I’m extraordinarily grateful that I’m finally capable of choosing what is best/healthiest for me when it comes to the people in my life. I now know, that I want to be with people who laugh WITH people, instead of AT people, who feel JOY when they see a child enjoying a loving moment with a parent, who accept responsibility for their own behavior instead of blaming others, etc., etc.

I'm sorry. Narcs love to trap people with money. Stay strong. Never forget - its him not you

But you can heal with Gods help ❤

Yes, thank you!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻☀️☀️

??? Are you suggesting hurting someone's pet? Or did they hurt yours?