i found that once I identified a person as a toxic narcissist, the first thing I had to work on was to not need anything from that person. Not money, not time, not acceptance, not positive regard, not anything, and really work hard on getting free of those needs. Getting my needs met elsewhere.

10 Ways To Be More Resistant To Narcissists 1. Own your truths and reality 2:10 2. Stop falling for charisma and charm 3:00 3. Being smart n educated is not a virtue 4:04 4. Don't get snowed by rich and successful people 5:13 5. Watch How They Treat Other People 6:16 6. Learn the narcissist's tells 7:03 7. Become ok with setting boundaries 7:50 8. Dump the enablers 8:46 9. Stop giving second chances 9:46 10. Surround yourself with good people 10:57 11. BONUS - Start getting comfortable with taking the less popular path 12:30 12. BONUS - Have meaning n purpose in life 15:08 Hope this helps everyone……

Dr. Ramani, You saved my life two years ago. When I was suffering from a toxic realationship with a covert narcissist. Thank you God bless you. You are an amazing human being.

My heart goes out to all those suffering from this toxic people😭 It is easier said than done especially if you are in a place with no family members.

Dr. Ramani saved my sanity and gave me strength to get out of the grip of the narcissist physically. Now I am mentally healing and ready to thrive. Thank you - also - for this amazing community. Your comments are so helpful and validating. I am often brought to tears as I read our shared experiences. ♥️ Love you all. ♥️

“Stop falling for charisma .. , it’s covering something else” the best advise

My parents are pissed that I watch all of your content. I have become stronger, especially in the current situation I am in. I just need to figure out my next move. Thanks again for all that you do! 💕

The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. Additionally, Here's a clue for anyone of you that think your spouse might be cheating, but you think they are just too clever to be caught, your feelings of being cheated on are not facts and your intuitions are bullshit unless you find out for sure. So before you bring your sickness and blame into the relationship get some fucking proof and some mental help consult a private investigator today Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose know where you stand in your relationship...

I decided to treat myself the way I treated him. To support myself the way I supported him and to forgive myself the way that I forgave him. I’m now at a point in my life where I totally accept myself “flaws” and all. Thank you Dr. Raman. I am going through my divorce feeling strong and powerful and no longer traumatized or scared.

Dr Ramani is that therapist for most of us that cannot afford trauma informed therapy or therapy at all due to financial strains . Im still struggling from cPTSD and trying to navigate the trauma almost a year after discard…but these videos validate all of us struggling and I don’t know where a lot of us would be with out Dr Ramani and her compassionate guidance

My strength was learning about narcissism, going “no contact “and moving forward🦋 Best decision I’ve ever made! 🎉 I am an empath, and my home life was horrible. When I moved out of my house, I thought I was OK. 😅 When I had my next experience with a narcissist, I was done! I’m too old for that crap!I I want to live the rest of my life, happy, joyous, and free!🎉. Yes, I’m grieving, but I’m 65 and at this point in my life, I desire healthy love. After 40+ years , I lost health, all the things you mentioned Yes, I am grieving, but I’m happy and learning Thank you Dr. Ramani for all your help, I sure wish you were closer to me❤ 🦋SURIVOR🦋 with a brand new life.

Now I realize that my mother was a malignant narcissist! Now I understand why and how my father put up with their toxic relationship for 52 years and why he taught his children with good moral values and why he taught us to love, be kind to others and always treat people the way we want to be treated! He also taught us that our word was everything and we had to be the person we professed to be. It's ok if people take advantage one or two times but there comes a point where we can detach and stay detached when people try to continually use and abuse us! Thanks Papa for saving us with your wisdom and guidance❤

For me, another one of the best ways to release yourself from the grip of the narcissist is to realize how real the abuse you experienced really is. People may demonize you for doing this, but you are never wrong for acknowledging that your narcissistic relationship is unhealthy. It’s better to see an ugly truth, than a false reality. They may say, “Well, life is hard”, but your relationships shouldn’t be.

Letting go isn't really about learning to let go, but realizing that there's nothing left to hold on to.

This is truly a lonely walk for me, Thank you for the kind words. I am 66 and no longer trust anyone. I love my own company. You have helped me more than you will ever know. Keep up the loving work.

Honestly, bodybuilding helped me get through so much. I'm now 6 years sober from alcohol and I just left my narcissistic ex in Dec 2022 (married 10 years) after I decided to get back into it. It helps me feel, not just physically stronger, but mentally stronger. It made me realize I can lift more than I think and I am stronger mentally than I thought too. AND finding your videos helped me so much too! Thank you for all you do, Dr. Ramani!

Just did this recently! So much healing right now!!! 64 days no contact and this past week I see the light! Anyone going through this, YOU are worth it! Love yourself MORE! YOU GOT THIS!!! 🥰

Walking away helped me realize how little affect they had on my life. They ignored me, weren’t there consistently when I needed them, were cruel, critical, etc. I don’t miss THEM… I miss the familiarity of family & what we COULD have had. I’m MUCH better, now! 🙏🏾🥰💃🏾

"Charisma is like heavy perfume or cologne that someone wears when they don't take a shower." From my experience, this is very true. A lot of charismatic people either lack the proficiencies they claim to have or dehumanize those around them.

My experience in how not to aget ducked in by narcissists: 1) Don't be too accommodating, even in body language. Drop the excess smiling.😊2) Limit your compliments, and before giving them examine whether you're being sincere or schmoozing up. 3) If they drop names of people, places, or things ( e.g. professional degrees) arbitrarily , run! 4) Be harder to get. Don't extend your friendship or kindness to freely. 5) And repeating Dr. Ramani, something that gets me everytime, stay away from enablers ( people who 😊are groupies to charismatic or noxious personalities).

Strategies that are helping me get stronger: Listening to Dr Ramani at least once a day (so I know Im not crazy). Therapy every 2 weeks with an outstanding therapist. Reading about narcissism particularly Dr. Ramani’s new book and books on maternal narcissism. Journaling daily. Occasionally watching mindless hallmark movies to let my mind rest. Having TRUE friends who care and have similar experiences. Distancing from the flying monkeys, enablers, and the narcissists using gray rock and soul distancing (still a work in progress). When I feel sad about it I let myself cry and hug my dog. I remind myself that oddly some of the severe narcissist boyfriend stuff had a positive side because it helped open my eyes to a lifetime of narcissism and become SMART about it all and stronger (being grateful for the bad stuff). Distancing myself from the waves of feelings and taking a perspective that lets me not be engulfed in it but still aware and honoring it. Also I’m not giving up hope that now that I know not to fall for those dazzling charming men that treat me like a queen until I’m snared - now I can find a normal person and actuallly have a healthy boring relationship with a regular guy. All this and I”m 67 years old - it took me a while. Smile😊

My dad taught me when someone is toxic in your life, recognize it, don’t blame yourself and ask yourself “is this individual giving me value?” If the answer is no, walk away as quietly as you can. It’s hard but it’s the right move. What’s hard is when someone is intellectual, has surface kindness but rotten at the core. Actions speak volumes. Love you Dr. R! ❤

My sister mum and dad all narcissists these films saved my life.

having a strong sense of self worth and value separate from the narcissist is a huge weapon

My mother's funeral was just yesterday. Today my narcissistic husband 'devalued, and tore apart', all the arrangements my siblings and I had made. He criticized the funeral home, funeral director, cemetery, eulogy, graveside service, even the drive to the cemetery. OMG, No wonder I'm worn out. Thank you for helping me realize why I'm so exhausted. Ugghhh, lots of scary changes coming in my life, but Thank God for you Dr Ramani. I can see a brighter future ahead.

Too tired tonight. I just want to say to those who are hurting. It gets better. It really really does. Even for you it will. You aren’t a special case with a special situation where you are doomed to feel this way forever. If you put the work in, you will see the results. Study study study, and then emotionally integrate what youve learned. Its all in you. Always was always has been and always will be. They can never take that from you.

Yes, I had that euphoric recall a lot. I would forget the abuse at times and get caught up in the trauma and love bombing. Thank God I am not with the narc it has been 4 years. I think about him off and on, but not as much anymore, which just means that I am healing. I give all praises to God for delivering me and setting me free from narcissistic abuse 🙏🏽 🙌🏽

For me, living with a narcissist parent, trying to form an identity of my own away from them is the main way I release myself from them. Finding supportive friends has been huge as well, but the largest one is standing in my own feelings no matter how much the narcissist yells at me or anyone looks down on me. Someone once said, My self worth is non-negotiable, in this life there is no ultimate judge so what my mom tells me has no weight on who I am. ( I still cry and mourn at how much life I've lost sometimes but that's ok too)

Grieving the loss of what/who you believed in is one of the most heartbreaking feeling...

I cry at simple things like eye contact and a hand touch, little meaningful gestures between two people (character roles) who love each other , regardless of the reason, when that chemistry is so real that I can feel it~~see it. It hits me hard. Thank you Dr. Ramani. This video is so valuable to healing. I am 66 and I am walking through this kind of grief holding onto your teachings and your sharing ❣️

My grief doesn’t manifest so much during movies but in bitter sweet moments with my adult daughter’s young family. I am so happy for her because she has broken the cycle of choosing narcissistic partners in our family - my mom, her dad, my most recent ex, my sister - she has got it right. She has a wonderful caring husband and two sweet little boys. She has a successful career and with counselling she has risen above her dysfunctional family of origin. It’s the most amazing success story (and she dealt with a lot of stuff, she didn’t get away Scott free - by the time she was six she no longer had a dad in her life) and I see her life and weep for what I never had. But I’m blessed to have a second chance as a grandma to her sons ❤

Thank you Dr. Ramani for these videos. 3-4 days ago I left my narcissist. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the information from your videos which has given me the courage and confidence I needed. The heart break is very real and would be worse if I believed the toxic person’s opinions about me. I will continue to watch your videos to remind myself that I never deserved the hurtful rhetoric and threats that kept my self from being me and kept me from focusing on what’s important and good for me. I appreciate you.

I found myself crying in Walgreens while picking out a birthday card for a family member. Reading through all the loving sentiments, I realized I will never have that with my narcissistic husband who I recently separated from. The grief is heavy. 😢

Don't make excuses for their bad behavior. I did for 29 years!

Dr Ramani, you are the first professional that calls out those who use their education and success to expect people to see them as kind, and that feel entitled ... that I know of.

Once again Dr Ramani is saving my soul. I've said it once and I'll say it again. She deserves a Nobel Peace Prize! She not only helps me regarding my own life experience and things I'm trying to heal from, but also helps the clients I see as a therapeutic counsellor. I am grateful for her sharing her expertise so I can learn and add to my knowledge of narcissism and trauma. What an amazing knowledgeable woman.

❤Being smart is not a virtue. Nor is charisma. Nor is wealth. Nor fame. Soooo true. Virtue is in the *authenticity and decency* of the minutia of every daily interaction.

The Moment I suddenly realised, 'Why would I WANT to be friends with someone who treated me like that!!'...it ALL STARTED COMING CLEAR!

I found some narcissist abuse survivor support groups on the meet up and met some very interesting and supportive people. Some were even further along in their healing journey. I reconnect with them every couple of weeks, and we discuss specific topics and patterns. We break it down like you do. It forces me to understand this narcissism in a structured format and help myself rather than ruminate.

Well, my father was a narcissist. Once I got married he lifted most of the crazy treatment. Unfortunately, yet not surprising now, he had narcissistic behaviors/characteristics. Wish I had known empaths are magnets For narcissists. Now, my sister is worse than they were. Thank you Dr. Ramani. You're TEACHING ME HOW TO SURVIVE !

Videos like this are so validating. I cry the most when I feel validated. Allowing myself to feel the grief.

I was with a woman for 30 yrs and I always knew there was something really wrong with my partner, I learned what a narcissist was, and then I realised that described my wife; gaslighting, and compulsive lying; she would deny reality she would twist events making me feel I was losing the plot, she isolated me from my friends and I let her, but thankfully I didn't lose them completely. I gave her supply because I was too easygoing until eventually, I started to question my reality, that's when it started to fall apart, she left when I said no more, she had an affair and left, and now I'm dealing with the divorce. My biggest regret is all those lost years and opportunities to grow as a person and succeed.

Being as physically fit and healthy is a good way to deal with these relationships. I’ve been dealing with health issues for a long time now and I’ve seen particular relationships shift in relation to what I thought they were, and has made me question and highlight certain narcissistic traits in a few people close to me (turns out when you don’t have energy to give people attention you get to see what that friendship is really about). Some days I feel a bit defeated and stressed (one on particular is a work relationship). One day last week I felt so low and powerless and anxious. The next day I felt better (I offloaded a lot to my therapist that night and got a much needed good nights sleep). My point being that your mood and energy levels play into how you see these relationships and how much in control of yourself, your thoughts, you are. It’s so important. Easy to let self care slide if you’re overwhelmed. Get active and look after yourself, as a priority.

A narcissist repellant for me is focusing on being grateful for the simple blessings in life - whatever that maybe. Example - solving a problem at work, getting up 1 hr earlier, committing to working out and actually sticking to it. Basically committing to yourself. So I invented this concept for myself called Positive Distractive Activity (PDA) As I get engage in such activity over time, I am learning to recondition my thought-flow and soon enough I feel really good. I love making small achievements daily because it gives you motivation for tomorrow.

I'm a 52-year-old man and a 20-year marriage with 16 and 17 year old children. I understand through your videos what is going on and why I have been so confused and suffering so much at trying to make it work. I have an example for every single term that you have talked about in your glossary, dozens for most of them. This video about grief is the hardest hitting. I know I'm going to leave. I have already begun grieving the relationship and knew that I was doing so on a certain day in the gym when I was working out. I tried to put on cheerful songs that I had always liked in the past. Then they start coming up automatically. The song Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie came up and started playing. It was very cheerful at the beginning but I realized it was about people separating. And that wasn't too bad. At a certain point in the song, it gets to where she is singing about childhood on the playground. At this point she talked about the boy holding her hand. It was so idyllic. I realized that I had such hopes for the relationship with my narcissist when it started and for years it did seem to go amazingly. I realized that was gone. Right on the gym floor I was undone. I was crying and I had to leave. I knew many things in just a moment. I knew I would be destroyed if I stayed. I knew that the entirety of it was lost. Your video is helping me so much. You have saved me. We have six other grown children that are out of the house who have progressively become estranged from their mom and tried so many times to reconnect with her. Until now, none of us have known the pathology, I guess you could call it. Perhaps you will save us all. I'll never stop listening. Thank you.

Hi I’m Mike I’m a new survivor of a narcissistic abusive relationship. I really didn’t understand what I was in until I started watching your videos and I just wanted to say thank you. I’ve just began the grieving process I’m 18 days in. Thank you for educating me and empowering me and giving me the strength courage so I can move forward. Knowing is half the battle. I couldn’t ever put my finger on why the person acted the way they did but now I know exactly why they acted the way they did and it’s helped me move on. Thank you again.

Healing is a process and I'm learning to renew my mind. No more feeling guilty-self-blame- failure all at the same time. I realize how overwhelmed and unnerved I felt. Now I can breathe, walk freely and learn who I am. I'm discovering ME at 53 years young. Jesus Christ is a living healing loving God and he saved my life. I thank him each day for delivering me from the evil that was hiding inside my husband. It's been 9 months since he was arrested for aggravated assault on me. I'm still seeing a Neurologist and more physical therapy. My eye sight is getting better. Dr. Ramani videos helped me move out of the brain fog and left the state of Georgia!!! I'm looking at farmland walking around the rolling hills of Kansas. This channel and Jesus Christ himself have helped me move forward to a new beginning.

I was almost a soul for sale. I am now a soul on itself. Thank you

When I hear the words spoken to me, "You're the only one who understands" or, "You're the only one I can talk to," it's a big red flag that I'm about to be held responsible, and stuck to someone else's issues. It's always dishonest, even when the person talking believes it. No one person can be everything another needs. I certainly can't. They use that need to isolate you, keep you on call and away from your support system. They'll praise you for harming yourself in this way. I have to remind myself in these, "Only one" situations (Lies) that if I died tomorrow, the world would not end, and the narcissist would get someone else to manipulate. I ain't that important. So when I hear, "You're the only one I can depend on" or "The only one who can cook this entire meal," or "The only one who can ...." I know I'm being manipulated and it's time for me to make an exit. As you said, "No," is a complete sentence."

What helped me to be free from my narcissist in the last three years was getting back my self respect and remembering I’m a child of God and I deserve to have a good man ! Also I finally believed I’m good enough on my own without him. Years later when I looked back he isn’t that big a deal after all. I am confident I can do better. Believing in myself gave me the power to stay away from the toxic type of guys.

thank you Dr Ramani, this piece on grief resonates with me soooo much. It's not only the loss of the family member but your whole loss of your emotional investment, what you had hoped for and the family that you wished you had or had been able to create with others in your family. It's incredibly painful and even more painful and sustained than what i felt when my parents passed away. Not having others understand makes it even harder. I feel like you are speaking directly to me on this. I'm really appreciative of this session and all of your sessions.

Knowledge is one of the best tools against a narcissist.

One of the last scenes in Robin Williams's movie What Dreams May Come: he is losing his wife and he gives her a list of all of the things he has loved about her throughout their lives, and apologizes for every time he failed her in their marriage. It is so real and I think it hits me because he really sees her and loves her for who she is.

Yes, I have been crying watching Christmas movies. Not all but a few of them. It feels like I am letting something out. The narcissist in my life could ruin every holiday, birthday. He was just negative about everything. I am On my way to healing, feeling good! Thank you for all you do Dr Ramani!

The moment I decided to pour into myself and loving myself, that became the moment when I started to heal and see clearly! Over 22 years of abuse and making me question my own reality. I mean hiding things from me and making me think I moved it! I remember when I felt myself getting stronger, and it's like he sensed it and came to reel me back in! So now that I'm strong enough thanks to the Universe and meditation, loving myself and healing my inner child, I'm filing my divorce! So please stay encouraged and stay strong!❤

This popped up at the right time. Very weepy lately and it occurred to me it's grief. It sucks but will pass. Thanks for explaining all of it! ❤

I love listening to Dr. Ramani. Her voice is so calming. She has such a thoughtful and intelligent way of communicating. She speaks slowly and eloquently. Most of all, she's *on point* about these unhealthy relationships. So worth listening to.

When I go to school events or birthday parties, I regularly start crying. It reminds me of how I had to learn how to care for myself and most people have people. I love being able to give it to my daughter. My parents were always focused on my narcissist sibling.

I wasted eight years before the light finally came on. I left in 2020 and went back after a year, foolishly, i know now. Spent two more years in misery.... I left again, recently, this time for good, and this idea of grief over it is real. Im so angry at myself for staying so long, but I feel surprisingly sad. It's definitely a process that I must be in the middle of. You are helping me. Thank you.

I was privileged to have a therapist diagnose my mother without mother’s knowledge. This therapist knew NPD very well and suggested I ask my mother to come so she could “help the therapist” with my treatment. (Mother was iffy about having a flawed kid in therapy to begin with, but once she told herself that I discuss my father in those sessions, she leaped into a hyper vigilant “helper” and dressed up, diamonds, full face of makeup. You’d have thought they were filming! (Of course… we were in Beverly Hills, so you never know!) The performance was jaw-dropping, the revision of history and blah blah blah… and the following week when I went to my session alone, my therapist greeted me at the door with a giant hug and gave a very certain diagnosis from which we worked on my recovery. That was in 2008. But none before that were very dialed in. Not in NY. Maybe LA is the incubator of Narcissism! ThNk you for the work you do. Recovery is never “finished.” At times when I struggle, your videos give me great soothing.

Happy Sunday, dear people. Sending love and support to all. :) xx

Not a movie but a beautiful moment I witnessed between a father and his young daughter of about 12 years old walking down the street yesterday. The daughter stood there in her flowy skirt and the father stood with his hand out hailing a cab looking at his daughter with a proud and empathetic smile. The daughter was just taking in the world and enjoying this moment with the protection and love of her father close by. I started crying.

There seems to be many of us in our 60s here. Thank you Dr Ramani for saying that I am grieving the life I thought I was going to have. Not the one I had. This was my second marriage and I could never put my finger on what was wrong. I just knew I cried a lot and prayed for it to be different. I couldn’t figure out when we had been so happy and had fun when we first met what had gone wrong after we got married. I am a strong woman and he said he liked that. But it seems that that was a lie. Our relationship was always a competition. I should’ve known better when he had such awful things to say about his first ex-wife from 20 years prior. And every girlfriend he had since. I don’t know why I thought I was going to be different. The one to love him enough. The one to understand his trauma from the past. So after 12 years when he said we needed to end this, I simply said, if that is what you want. I had had enough and was emotionally exhausted.

Love your videos about grief. And watching movies etc. You are right-so much more about we never experienced, the heavyness we carry- for what we would never know. Thank you for the tears I never let out before.

I'd say for the whole "watch out for charismatic people" there is an important caveat that you have to watch out for superficial charisma and not necessarily charisma itself. I know a lot of people who can absolutely take hold of a room who are wonderful caring people who are just very engaging and high energy, but with them it is not in this showy "look at me, look how great i am" way that you see in narcissists it is just a genuine love for life and being around and interacting with peoplethese types of people also are usually perfectly fine with being overshadowed because attention isn't necessarily something they are after, it is more of a natural byproduct of their personality.

Realizing the roots of my dad and stepmom's behavior is what finally shook me out of this wishful thinking. After not speaking with them for a year, I gave them one last chance to repair our relationship by going to family therapy. Their off-the-cuff, irrational wordsalads and discomfort with genuine connection were difficult to watch. I'm grateful to have had my mom, who showed me what unconditional love was, otherwise I may still be trying to make things work.

Love the section on grief. It explains so well why the grief is so deep. Thank you Dr Ramani🙏🏽

I watched about 7 episodes, thank you. I can relate and it's amazing how it feels like someone actually understand what I'm going through.

This is simply what's worked for me personally: completely internalize your self worth. Keep it secret and safe, like treasure, near any narcissists and other high-tension people. Save it for those who treasure you with open kindness and acceptance. I have found that externalizing my self worth even to my own work, created a vicious, even mildly narcissist, self-abuse cycle. Success to me is being at peace with who I am regardless of anything outside of me. The hardest part, for me anyway, was watching a close relative being aware of the Narc but being to financially dependent to escape. Your worth isn't attached to you being able to help others. It is natural, birth-given worth. This is the hardest lesson for me, as school, family, work, etc. taught me otherwise.

Once I misplaced my wallet on the street when my daughter was a baby. I went into total panic, mostly over the sh*t storm that awaited from my narcissist husband. I returned to a shop where I found my wallet, it was given to me by the shop keeper, a very kind man who insisted that I, the new mother I was, sat and drank a glass of water to recover from the scare. This small act of kindness - of humanity, made me cry. It still makes my cry to this day. Many years later this video had made me understand it's significance and why it affects me so much and vow to give myself space to grieve. Thank you for this amazing content.

Tip for not getting trapped by a narcissist. *Stop letting compliments mean so much. I know it's hard but have enough self confidence to not get sucked into "you're the best person I've ever met" . Compliments should be the first red flag, unless you're being congratulated on something, you don't need so many compliments.

Dr. Ramani is absolutely correct! I am grieving all of what she talked about. I was wanting a different outcome knowing it’s won’t be any different this time

I've found it difficult to find a competent therapist in my home town but you're helping me so much! Thank you, Dr Ramani🤗

YOU ARE GOD SENT !!!!!! I love you and thank you for being apart of my healing journey

This is probably the best video on narcissistic abuse I've seen. Thank you. 🙏

Dr. Ramani, I watched a lot of your videos. Every now and then I doubted myself and still thought i was going crazy. But once you talked about that grief it all made sense and i found myself crying non-stop. this hit me hard, exactly where it needed to hit. I have been getting those grief moments for months and I couldn't make sense of it. I can't thank you enough. This is so eye opening

For me as a Believer in Christ using His discernment would definitely help me now but I wasn’t walking with the Lord when I married my first abusive husband and then met and married my recent narcissistic husband 39 yrs ago. This whole experience of abuse has brought me much closer to Christ and to depend on Him and yes asking Him to guide me throughout this relationship and use his discernment in the rest of my life

While my therapist recognized the trauma, she hadn't worked with narcissism. 8 months later, she thanked me for all she learned working with me. She listened. She did call in a colleague to help her with my case, but i would also send my therapist your videos to help explain what I was experiencing, and for her to understand where I was at in certain points of the healing process (i.e., your videos on forgiveness). I'm 1.5 years out. Still ruminating, still grieving, but grateful for my new life. TY Dr. Ramani. ❤️

Thank you for being so generous with your gifts, Dr. Ramani.

…” your wounds are where the light enters you” ahhhh, so wonderful, what a wonderful thing to say.

I am so so awfully glad that I found you because I recently met someone who seems to be a covert narcissist now. But all thanks to you, even though initially I thought I was in love with him, I realised the truth and did not let him in my life. I am studying to become a psychologist and you inspire me everyday. Thank you so much Dr Ramani.

I stopped asking how his day was, if he’s hungry, when he’s going to see me. I stopped questioning his actions, I kept myself busy, I started to picture my life without him, I only reacted when he wanted me to but coldly. I GAVE what I GOT. Slowly but productively realizing that I am now in control. - I faced trauma bond head on knowing it’s my only way to healing. Knowledge is healing. Keep on praying. Always know “you are way better than them” … it’s an addiction and go through withdrawals. It’s worth finding a healthy you. ❤

Dr Ramani you are a genious, the world is lucky to have your contribution. ❤

Wow, the way you explain things, is wonderful, thanks for your efforts, support and guidance ❤

As a NA survivor, this touched my soul, most relatable video I’ve ever watched 😢❤

"Look at me son, it's not your fault" from Goodwill Hunting. Robin Williams empathy gets me every time.

What you say about the enablers really hit me hard! Thanks for amazing, very helpful information 🙏❤️ I'm not even having these people in my life anymore, but getting over the feeling of never having being loved by my own parents hurts no matter how old I get and honestly as a mom myself it confuses me a lot! I'm happy I didn't become the same kind of parent myself, quite opposite actually. Luckily ❤❤❤

This list is good against just toxic people who may only have narcissistic traits without being one. I avoided anyone who tried to dominate my life even in grade school even groups. I was a fighter & think most avoided me. But the destruction happened in my marriage with traits that were which caused fighting for 33 years. Once I finally left & never looked back. Now when I feel my peace become stressed, I do say why blocking then I block permanently & never look back either. I never cherry pick moments based on anyone else. I found peace & if someone upsets that peace even once I remove them from my life. Distance totally at social events.

The portion addressing missing the narcissist was 💡 illuminating and really helpful. Also, grief over someone who is not dead was spot on.❤️

Once you finally realize who and what the narcissist is, no contact is the only way to go. being knowledgable about narcissism, will not protect you from is toxicity-only no contact will!

Thank you! My relationship with my mom throughout my life suddenly makes sense for the first time in 51 years. I can shed the self doubt and feel in control for the first time in my life.

BEST VIDEOS EVER. No therapist has ever understood what it's like. I feel so validated and even soothed.

I think it was Dr. Ramani who made me aware of Narcissism. When I left my ex decades ago, I was terribly confused…and scared. In recent months, after learning about e confusion has gone. The awareness as to what it was really like,why did I stay so long ? 24 years. Because I was scared. The man said to me I would become a bag lady. I didn’t realize I had the skills needed to battle him. He was surprised . Me too. It was a long road. And I can’t say as it was easy. It wasn’t. This should be talked about at school. Self-esteem . I wonder how many narcissistic teachers there are. Ai ! Mine was classic. ☹️🤬.

My Narc was great with the waitress how ever if he saw someone in a restaurant he could tear apart he would . He was mostly nice to me but the digs finally got to me. I realized there was a problem when I could barely perform every day tasks , clean my house or accomplish anything. One thing I really noticed was physical pain I never experienced before. Now that he is gone all these things are gone. I blocked him however he is hoovering - I never knew what this was. I am not interested in anyone at this time. What a creep. By the way he is attractive to me but there is nothing in that head of his that is really interesting. He told me everything I needed to know in the beginning had I know about this behavior I would have caught on right away. I would say go into a new relationship with your eyes wide open. If he is asking a lot of question answer in a vague way. This actually would be a big turn off for me today. He gas lighted me on our first date it was kinda funny today I would NEVER let that go. I am aware today and I am never getting into one of these relationships again.

Oh my gosh, when she started talking about why I miss my narcissist she got me. A wow moment for me as I couldn’t figure this out.

Although I have been discovering your videos out of order, now more than ever the ones I really need to watch and listen to are beginning to appear just at the right time. Thank you for all that you do! I have gone to therapy and it takes such a long time to even build that trust and for a therapist to unfold all the layers of a person in the hopes of helping them. I would still be COMPLETELY lost if I had not come across your videos. I believe I am in a phase of figuring out how to heal after understandably failing to try and warn others (as you said there’s unfortunately no way to do this most if not all of the time) of my covert narcissist boss.Thank you again Dr Ramani for all that you do along with others to truly pioneer and advance better ways to help and/or save people like me.

Your work is saving the world

Former clergy here: THANK YOU for your words on clergy/pastoral counselors. I can tell you from experience that we do not have the training, skills, (oftentimes) legal standing, and goals to be appropriate mental health supports. Generally speaking, I would say that the only clergy remotely qualified to help are going to be people who have been victims of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence. Most of the people I know who have been through this experience have a sense of what their helpful limits are.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’ll never have an idea how you help people to see when they were just too blind. You brought me peace after 18 years living this way.

Grief recovery is one area that has not been addressed enough on the various narc-busting sites. Thanks for doing such a good job 👍🏆‼️