The Penal Legions: when the Imperial Guard isn't expendable enough and your planetary defense forces aren't batshit enough.

penal legions: meat shields for meat shields.

"My lord we have to many criminals. What would we do?" "You can never have to many meat shields."

"Lord the fortress has a mine field." "Send in the penal legion."

"What most people don't know about Killbots is that each one has a set kill-limit. And so, knowing their one weakness I sent in wave after wave of my own men till they hit their limits and shut down." - Fourteen Star Admiral Zapp Brannigan

"So how'd you get sent to this penal legion" "Jaywalking"

"If you will not serve in combat, then you will serve on the firing line!"

12:02 The drug they pump into them is called *_Friendzone_* !? No wonder they charge into battle with reckless abandon and a total disregard for safety, that stuff is hell.

The Penal Legion: The Imperial Guard of the Imperial Guard.

If you break the rules in the Chem Dogs they don't execute you, they send you home. Because that is a fate worse than death

the last chances would actually make a better movie than suicide squad

I remember reading the Last Chancers book where there was one guy that survived and got a pardon. The guy's name was Kage (I think he held the rank of Lieutenant). His back story is that he was sentenced to a penal colony after either punching or outright killing his superior officer in his former guard unit (if memory serves). He attempted to escape by waiting for a resupply ship to arrive in which he would slip onto the ship dressed as a guard. Unfortunately for him his cover was blown and in his mad dash to get off the planet he tried to hijack a ship. Even more unfortunately, the guy coming off said ship was Colonel Schaeffer himself, who immediately subdued Kage and had him inducted into the legion because Kage was "the kind of scum he needed". However, after succeeding in the final mission and being the lone survivor of a group that numbered around 4000(?) to begin with, he made the somewhat fatal mistake of deciding to keep his penal legion tattoo instead of having it removed. He had come to see it as something of a badge of honor. When he tried to sign up for a different guard squad an officer saw the tattoo and began treating him like scum. The situation escalated into a fight in which Kage took the officer's ceremonial sword and gave him one cut for every soldier that died during his time in the penal legion (he had even taken the time to remember their names), all because the officer had said that they should've all just died. After that he passed out in an alley only to wake up with Schaeffer standing over him and ripping the pardon in half and welcoming him back into the legion permanently, the last words of the book being "Oh frag" (I suppose in this case "frag" is their equivalent to "fuck"). I believe he was also referenced in the first entry for the Last Chancers way back in a White Dwarf magazine once. During the pre-battle writeup the Last Chancers squad members, who were about to assault a place held by Chaos Space Marines, complained about how anybody could be expected to survive the mission. The silent Lieutenant (at the time unnamed) spoke up and merely said "I did", before returning to his duties, causing all squad members to just stare at him. The last I read regarding Kage is that he turned out to be a latent psychic (which explained his extraordinarily good luck) and got possessed by a daemon. He proceeded to shrug off its influence long enough to assassinate their target by throwing himself and the guy into a lava pit (I think) as an act of redemption. Sorry, I haven't read the books in a while so my memory of certain things is a bit hazy.

I'm surprised the Blood Ravens don't recruit from these guys considering their mutual love of theft

17:37 "Though again artillery shells can occasionally be considered to be expensive, and penal legionaries...well their free...."-Arch hahahahahahahahahahah the irony.

Ah human mine sweeping, that brings back memories. Back in the '90s when I was in the US Navy, USS Aubrey Fitch guided missile frigate FFG-34, they had us sweep for mines in Port au Prince harbor prior to the "big invasion". Obviously the US has specialist ships to do this but someone fucked up and so there wasn't one available as to reduce maintenance costs all mine sweeps had been pooled together in San Diego and calling for one now would have delayed the invasion by a month. So we swept by going into the harbor to see if we blew up. They moved me from sonar watch to deck watch for the event. It was the first time I'd stood deck watch, but I preferred my chances for surviving a mine hit if I was top side. Anywho it was night and I was scanning the water in front of us with low light binoculars and what was the first thing I saw? All these little lights on the water in front of us. So I ducked inside the bridge and asked generally (because I had no idea who I was supposed to report to) "What the fuck is up with all these little lights on the water?" This was apparently very inappropriate and a junior officer was told to deal with me. JOs are silly people. Anywho he tells me and I quote, "Those were in the mission briefing. They do not constitute a hazard to navigation." Being that I hadn't been invited to the mission briefing, or had any briefing at all beyond stand on the deck and look for mines I pressed for an explanation - enlisted can get away with that in some parts of the Navy. He explained that those little lights were the desperately poor locals trying to catch fish by luring them up to the surface and grabbing them. We ran the fuck over those people. Must have killed at least a few dozen. Probably closer to around a hundred. They were definitely not a hazard to navigation. We didn't blow up and the next day the big amphib assault ships came in and restored El Presidente for Life to power. More importantly Clinton's misery farming operation was saved ensuring they could continue to exploit the impoverished natives of Haiti for decades and billions of dollars to come.

"They steal like the gypsies..." Hey, just because they disappointed the Emperor, doesn´t mean you have the right to insult the penal legionairies, Arch. :(

"it will ususally involve backbreaking, hard manual labour" - send this unarmed penallegion as a decoy to the dark eldar!

if you had blood ravens and a penal legion in the same camp which group would end up with everything in the camp?

Commisar: "Hah, mass casualties? I call that progress!"

I also heard that if Penal legionnaires survive multiple battles, they get forgiven and turned over to another proper guard unit.

and the imperium is still surprised people join the tau.

The Last Chances sound like they'd make a great game. The commentary would be hilarious

the last chancers deserve they're own video.

Well, wouldn't scrapping a malfunctioning lasgun be disrespectful to the machine spirit? Sure its a waste of resources, but when a techpriest has to choose between inefficient resource usage and pissing off the machine spirit... its pretty easy to guess what he'd do.

One guy did manage to get out of the Last Chancers for a brief period (I don't have the book with me, so I don't have his name handy). After infiltrating an Imperial fortress, detonating the plasma reactors, and singlehandedly confronting a gene stealer, he earned a pardon and posting to an Imperial Guard regiment in a relatively quiet part of the galaxy. Unfortunately he didn't quite take to the quiet life and ended up killing his superior officers in a bar fight. When he awoke from his drunken stupor, Col Schaffer himself was standing over him tearing up the pardon and offered him a spot in the Last Chancers.

Ahh the Penal Legions, for when even the Death Korps of Krieg aren't expendable enough you know shit has really hit the fan.

Planet sized gulags, welcome to 40k heretic.

Teddy bear is blessed by the God Emperor himself , serve you right for stealing the joy of the children of Emperor .

40K. Passive Aggressive British WW1 (in spaaaaaaace) parody that turned into a gigantic meme machine of sheer, unadulterated ridiculosity. And I love every minute of it.

19:11 *DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FACE OF MERCY TO YOU!?!?!!?*

HOPE?? "Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment"

The last chancers sound like the 40k version of the dirty dozen.

Psychic cat exists in WH40k. It is called "Gynix", looks like a bobcat and is often in company of Eldar. Very high ranking Imperials occasionally get one too.

ah yes, friendzone. The most addictive drug of our time. All the boys seem to take it in abundance.

Last time I was this early I actually thought Trump wasn't going to hire back the *swamp*

Can you imagine pregnateing an impregnable bunker with an *AVERAGE* *PENAL* legion.

As a major DC fan, one single phrase kept repeating itself in my head throughout this video: "Welcome to the Suicide Squad,"

20:32 it's a shame they aren't younger because with that kind of kleptocmania the Blood Ravens would never run out of recruits

they get dosed with 'friendzone"? Man that would make me go into a homicidal rage

4:20 why would they need to force civilians into penal legions with fabricated crimes when they can just conscript whoever they want into the regular guardsmen regiments ?

On the train to Oslo, and this is exactly what I needed. Thanks!!

"Penal" Legions? So do they get spanked by a ultrasmurf every time they fail to capture an objective or something?

I had to smile at the Demolition Man reference near the end

7:51 - "Irregardless." I'LL FUCKING KILL YO- I mean. That is not a word. I don't care what the dictionaries now say. It is not a word!

I'm old enough to remember when these guys first came out, with their explosive collars.

18:55 "They do not have the right to refuse any order." Isn't that like... the entirety of the Imperial Guard anyway?

best thing to listen when in need of night time story before falling asleep

I love your vids, waiting for the next beast arises! your a freaking beast!!

so basically it's the Warhammer version of "The Dirty Dozen" huh?...i like it!

Many tactics used by the imperium of man resemble Soviet tactics used during the Great Patriotic War.

This is what Im going to be making soon lol Great video dude! Now Im really looking forward to fielding these guys

Hey Arch! You are doing an incredible job, have followed you since 2015, and it has been a joy, and it still is. if it is not too much to ask for more wammer fantasy lores.

Gotta love some Savlar Chem dogs so glad to see they got the call out. I remember the old Schaeffers last chancers rules, god those were cool.

Thanks for the new video. Always a classic. I eagerly await the new primarch videos. Any idea when you will release the next one?

your analogies always make me laugh man. keep it up! :D

I've been waiting for this one! Almost to 100k subs arch, keep it up!

So... Attach Chem Dogs to a Death Korps engineer squad and watch the fun? XD

I recall reading somewhere about the penal legions having all kinds of archeotech that they "found"

Thanks your videos are super good and it put me to sleep too!

The imperium:we need a drug that makes people go berserk Techpriests: got it give them the feeling of being told 'I like you as a friend'

Godlike new intro

To each of us falls a task. And all the emperor requires of us guardsmen is that we stand the line and die fighting. It is what we do best. Die standing.

Really liking the new intro Arch

Still loving the intro Arch. Hope you have an exuberant day.

sooo.... suicide squads ?

Even the Ruinous Powers frown upon stealing teddy bears.

Arch, LOVE the new intro!

Great video Arch. Keep it up, proud of you. :3

please mighty Arch, can we get some Traitor Guard ? Appreciated !

Somebody survived the Last Chancers. wouldn't it be amusing if it was Sly Marbo.

Last chances is actually a book series in Warhammer 40k and follows their adventures through the eyes of Lt. Kage. It's a good series written you gave thorp.

The Penal legions are more numerous then the enemy's ammunition supply. Praise the Emperor!

Sooo... the guy that survived is Sly Marbo, right?

this is your last chancers to watch this

Speaking Ill of the local lord governor being punished with a sentence to a penal legion isn’t even a desperate move, that’s just normal

@Arch this is absolutely superb‼️Well done My Good Sir❕👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻

Shafer did pardon a lone survivor(Cant remember his name).....but he murdered a guardsman colonel shortly after in a drunken rage. He immediately got a chance to rejoin the last chancers and he took it.

"PENAL legion, I thought the Adeptas Sororitas requested a PENILE legion!" Also downvoting the video for "Irregardless". I got standards that I will maintain REGARDLESS of the actual quality of your video (which is quite high, a shame you were found wanting). If I catch you saying "a whole nother" you can upload me flying out to your place to tan your hide with my belt.

I like to think the one Last Chancer to make it all the way to redemption while still breathing and actually be rewarded for it was Colonel Shaeffer himself. Who better to lead the Simon Fenix’s of 40k on suicide missions and give them hope at the same time? A minute of genuine inspiration is worth an hour of fear after all.

12:05 "Frenzon" It obviously makes them want to be frenz!

As we get closer and closer to the release of DoW 3, do you think you could try to do a lore video on the Blood Ravens or something?

Nothing goes to waste in the imperium huh?

Allways feel like a king when i listen how the life in the gloryus imperium is^^

It would be cool if there was a story where the Marines Maleviolent operated alongside a Penal Legion and actually on some level related to them and gained some kind of mutual respect.

Hey Arch I have a question, there is still an entire universe outside the Milkyway right? I ask because if there is the Milkyway is just one of oh so many then that makes its species, no matter how powerful, little more than a tiny speck of a drop in the ocean of what should be out there and of little influence. But obviously this is not the case, what with gods being murder fucked into existence. This makes me think that that one tiny part isn't so tiny anymore because its all that is left. Did the Tyranids eat everything else already?

Arch, why the FUCK at 5:19 do you show me a Drookian Fen Guard Guardsmen while talking about the Savlar Chem Dogs.

New intro 10/10 much better, great change

Arch, you are wonderful.

I thought Penal Legions were legions dedicated to Penal justice, to punish penally individuals from the imperium who did not respect the law. After watching the video, all I can say is... All hail Chaos.

Bring the old intro back. Please :'(

Cool new Intro Arch!

"Frenzon" through the Google subtitles filter turns into "friend zone" 😄

Good video Arch

love the new intro

Love the new intro. Not as loud as the last one.

love the intro

Arch you have to do a video on the Last Chancer books. + there are a few people that have survived the 13th, one being Lieutenant Kage of the books. And the reason Schaffer is so happy to let them go, is because he knows, give em a month or two and he'll be seeing them once again.

The Warhammer mod for Dominions 4 is worth playing and I'd love to see you make videos on them!

the goddamn subtitles on point with this

i was waiting for you to post your lore vid