So I can understand the sentiment with all of this. The problem is, as you mentioned Courtney, that all of this should be reciprocated. It's really not. A huuuuuge percentage of effort that men put in on a regular basis towards women is not reciprocated. They are not honest about not being attracted to us. They will gladly receive the effort, the favors, the gifts, the money, whatever, while still throwing themselves at the men who DON'T put in the effort. If you're not attracted, don't accept anything offered.

"Do not sacrifice financial security to make girls like you." I wish girls around me understand that.

1) Being clingy and desperate 2) Poor communication skills-Being a good listener too (lil side bonus tip she sneaks in) 3) Coming on too strong 4) Not being direct and taking the lead 5) Dishonesty Don’t worry…big papa’s got you.

A lot of Courtney’s points can apply to women as well. But if I could think of a couple “don’t’s” for ladies: don’t change plans at the last minute; don’t be selfish (relationships are give AND take) and don’t cry / complain when men ask for time for themselves (we need personal space, time to work on our projects and time with friends). Great list!

0:53 Being too Clingy/Desperate. 3:31 Poor Communication skills. 6:09 Coming on too strong. 9:00 Not putting any effort. 11:53 Dishonesty.

being too clingy/ desperate 0:54 poor communication skills 3:32 coming on too strong 6:10 not being direct/ not putting in any effort 9:01 dishonesty 11:54

I was clingy with someone once and I did not realize it until it was over and reflected on the events of our situation. I’ll never make that mistake again.

The last girl I dated for 2 months always talked about her ex husband on a regular basis... what a turn off

As someone who has lived almost 30 years without going on a date or getting involved with women beyond platonic friendship, having hobbies is the best, they give you something to look forward to and make you happy

Most men don't tell girl's everything because women talk to much and sometimes they can use your own things against you. Something that i hate is when i tell a girlfriend something they tell they friends i really hate that

I can not wrap my mind around sending unrequested "pics" nobody asked for. Honestly I don't even like when they're given willingly, never have never would. There's something scummy and skeevy about it to me and I feel like if you're at that point with eachother then you see the real thing in person. Not to mention pics can be used against you in some nightmare scenario. Just don't do it.

Clingy, needy and desperate is only viewed by women if your unattractive. When she finds you unattractive even 1 text is too much and will make her think your weird, clingy and desperate.

As an older male, there are some things that males these days should be fully aware of...1. Women don't need you and are taught this on a daily basis,...So, there is an 80% chance that if you ask her out on a date, she will say no...there is a 90% chance that even if she says yes, that she will already have several backups in case you flop ... and there is almost a 100% chance that even if things go well and you get into a relationship, she will have someone somewhere as a replacement.....it is important to understand that you, as a male, are a usable, disposable and replaceable commodity... remember there are huge differences between pursuing, obtaining and keeping a female ...and all of these require time, money and an enormous effort ....you really have to ask yourself, is it really worth it ?? .... I have been married for over 30 years ...and I know from experience.....that input does not always lead to reward ...and the major mistake a male will make is believe that it will...

I feel Courtney is giving great advice here. I do not consider myself an "Alpha Male'", "Pick-Up Artist", a "1%." or a "SIMP." Obviously, there has been a paradigm shift in the dating world, with dating applications and social media, I don't think anyone will disagree with that, but these tips/advice have always been the 101 guide too dating. Attractive women or any women for that matter, may have several options at any given time, thats okay gents, focus on becoming a better version of you and you'll be suprised at what you can accomplish and what you will attract. I tell my friends to approach dating, with a carefree comical approach because who doesn't like to laugh and theres no reason to be so serious in the beginning stages or when you're trying to approach or court a women, let your intuition be your guide as how to proceed. If she hasn't answered you're message in a timely fashion, chances are she's just not interested and thats okay. It has been in my experience, that women do in fact prefer a man, who isn't so serious and concerned with rejection. The most important thing is, do not lose yourself, women can see right through that. Also, no inappropriate pictures. I just hope one day I'll get the Heart from Courtney lol. Good luck and may your dates be winning.

guys, this generation isn't for dating. Make money and set your life up so you won't struggle in the future. I promise you, if you're financially secure at 35 because you took the initiative, it will make you way happier than any women. You'll have so much money to invest as well, because you won't have some girl or kid holding you back. Dating should be so easy, like you don't understand. It shouldn't be a hit or miss with women, you will know when she likes you. If you have to make a valiant effort to please her, it's not worth it.

I haven't dated since 2010 but I really enjoy content like this. No idea why -- I have no interest in a relationship for myself, however, you seem very sweet and genuine. I hope you go on to do great things and continue with this subject matter. You're helping men everywhere ✌️

Ladies ( and gentlemen), if you want us to plan dates then at least be willing to share what you like/don't like instead of giving the vague "surprise me" or "whatever you want" and be disappointed. It's just an example but imagine you tell us to plan something when we have very little idea yet of your tastes and decide to plan lunch on a balloon ride...and when we get there you tell us you're afraid of heights after we kept asking for info but just kept getting "I don't care, use your imagination." We would like to plan dates but we also need something to start with. Not all of us are great at planning things without some initial info.

Happy Thanksgiving 👸 Thankyou so much for enhancing out the gentleman in me ❤ You have played your role as well in my life, true friend

I kinda agree. My mom told me a long time ago, if one person is chasing one person isn't interested. She's in her 60s and very traditional but still holds true for me at least to this day.

Yeah absolutely well curated points. Thank you Courtney ❤️

I appreciate these tips Courtney and most them i have already begin to apply in my dealings with women because i had no choice especially that clingy stuff. I think a 5 things women shouldn't do with a guy that has good intentions is definitely needed. I do think some women trigger these negative reactions in guys with their actions too now. So sometimes i don't think guys especially ones on your channel intend to act in a off putting way. Anyways God bless and guys keep focusing things that energize you. You'll be so better off.

I am married and do have a daughter that are 20 years old now. Yet i am really enjoying your videos and your from a woman perspective. Helps me to understand the women in my life a little bit better.

Great tips here.. Although these days most of my potentials I connect with first online so we tend to talk a lot about who we are,our backgrounds,interests,and what we're looking for long before meeting up.. Also I tend to be up front and encourage that as opposed to small talk and comparing notes of expectations. I emphasize that I am openminded mostly and seek that.. A lot of the time we jump to a phone conversation which really brings about putting everyone at ease.. The very process I have generally described either builds up to a meetup or they simply weed themselves out.. Great tips here,sounds like my filters.. Yeah I only pursue as much as Its being reciprocated.

Really love all of your content. Down to earth. The advice most people should hear. A video suggestion would be on actual types of date ideas? Personally, there is a new dating guideline I try to follow. Never go out on a date that you wouldn't enjoy doing yourself.

Courtney, I'm sure there's probably a video like this in some form or fashion already, but could you consider this for a video idea: "10 things men in their first relationship should know about". Something like that would be quite helpful since some of us didn't have uncles, older brothers, fathers, father figures, etc to tell us all this stuff, and since it's our first relationship, we don't know wtf we're doing. Thanks!

I have to agree with the section on being direct and taking the lead (Once you already have their attraction and interest) Just like in dancing, woman want you to take the lead- if you won't, they will walk. Every time. This has happened to me more than I care to say. And its a hard lesson to swallow. Only now, in my 40's, do I understand where I was going wrong with woman. Sad but true. If you like the girl and she likes you, take action. Trust me, they want you to be a man of action and take the lead.

I don’t really chase girls or message them a lot. I had a crush with my coworker. She also knew this from me. That chance to get in a relationship with her never came. So I moved on happily

Hi Courtney! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving 🦃 with your family. Sending love from Miami, Florida

Hey Courtney! 👋 Hope you had a good Thanksgiving. 🦃 I agree with most of the things you mentioned, especially sending explicit pictures etc. Have a good weekend!

Best quote,I ever heard was be yourself everyone else is taken, very good points Courtney

One thing women do is bring there phone on the date, then start looking at it and paying attention to it and not you. I wonder, is she seeing if Chad got back to her text? Very rude. Shut the Damm phone off on an important date.

Great to see the two toned tops back, I liked them from your older videos. :)

I’m really tired of being a punching bag and guinea pig for each new girl I want to date. It’s like coming to the ring for a fight. It’s can drive a passion in the beginning but not intimacy and honesty for the long run relationship! Every time I should expect for the new test so I can’t relax and let myself be honest and my true self cause I KNOW RIGHT NOW SHE’s PROVOKING ME (which I take as manipulation) Like it’s said where there’s a competition there’s no place for love. I end up giving up honesty and being open hearted. My core belief now is that I can’t build trust even if I like the girl very much! And why need relationship if there’s no trust between partners?! ❤️From Ukraine to you, Courtney!

Thank you so much for your insight, Courtney! Subscribing to your KZfaq channel was a very wise decision.

When it comes to dating apps, I always start by asking what their intentions are/what they look for. I get mixed responses, but usually women respect the fact you came forward and asked before progressing farther and waste each other’s time

All good points. I’ll definitely keep those points in mind going forward.

I have watched several of your videios and I love the way you put the inforation in a not a put down but ina simple way that some of us men can grab hold of it and use it rightly. Thank you so much.

I've been watching your videos for three months and didn't realize that I have not subscribed. Whoops. lol Love the way you go into detail and make it simple.

on todays episode of "Courtney Ryan told you not to". I think you should make a mini-series about this hahaha. Great content as always :)

I use to be really clingy. Most of it was out of boredom. Now I spend most of my free time making KZfaq videos, mountain biking or doing CrossFit competitions. It's also a lot easier to talk to women when they're not the main focus.

I really don’t care.....I no longer make the first move.....try it....the solitude is priceless.

Thank you for all your great content. My suggestion for the woman version would be what you touched on for the men version, over expectation. If men always plan, ask, and do we don't really get to know how you would plan, ask, and do. Men like to be asked out for a afternoon to see how you spend your time and what you would do to have a good day. Thank you again for bringing joy to the world. 🧡😃🙏

Courtney you should do a video about 5-10 things for guys in their first dating/relationship to expect or be aware of, I think a lot of us newer guys or late bloomers could use a crash course…

Some good, common-sense insights. Thank you, Courtney.

I ACTAULLY HAVE THE OPPOSITE EFFECT WHERE I LET THEM TALK SO MUCH THAT WHEN ASKED A QUESSTION IAM CAUGHT OFF GUARD

I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving Courtney keep up the great content 🦃🌹❤

Watching these videos. It really helps that it's being told by the prettiest woman in the world

you are very truthful and informative...love your videos

“You will never be right for the wrong person”

Courtney you are intellectually above your years lady. I mean you're helping dudes and women who are twice or 3 times your age. Listened to a few of your videos, you're on point. Fellas, she 100% knows what she's talking about. Kudos yo. You're probably one of the few really good women left.

Relationships with women is like walking on eggshells. Either you are not doing this right or that wrong 🤷

Thanks tor the tips. 31 and never been in a relationship. Have a job, working on getting my GED,and working out., have great hygiene Happy Thanksgiving Courtney.

Excellent quality information 👌

I completely agree with you on your points in this video! As a much younger dude, I have made these mistakes haha. Sometimes we get infatuated with a beautiful woman. I think once I established myself, my life got SIGNIFICANTLY better. Don't be desperate.

Your the perfect date to listen to when I paint. Best of both worlds, beautiful voice, along with the colors of art.

Thank you Ms. Ryan.

Great videos! About listening, most of us have a blind spot about listening. We always think we listen twice if no thrice more than we actually do. And talk twice less than we actually do. So it's important to keep that in mind and double down on the listening compared to what we perceive. Even when being mindfull this default setting comes up more than we think. Just my 2 cents.

Courtney I love your insight., fantastic videos... thankyou

Your audio always sounds so good. Do you use any soundproofing?

A woman once mentioned that one mistake that straight guys do with women when they take them out, is that they don't ask questions. I guess I'll have to remember to do that if I ever get to take a woman out.

Great video. Stay focused stay mysterious set boundaries immediately

"ask her out, if she say no, she say no" You are totally right. The problem is, they always say yes and at the last moment "oh sorry i have aquaponey" or even never respond when you ask her out

Thanks for the advice. Always easier to hear constructive criticism from someone who wants the best for you. :)

I'm a guy and I once had some women come on too strong towards me, and it really was uncomfortable. Also, keep in mind that I was 15 and these women who did that looked to be in their mid-20s. It doesn't help that there are people who believe that there's no right or wrong way to approach a guy. We're just supposed to be happy with any kind of attention we get.

I guess I'm one of those desperate ones because, sometimes, I felt... unloved and lonely. And yeah, I'm aware that I can't keep focusing on that one person, but the thing is: I don't have any real friends and, occasionally, I get bored real easily. I rather have someone I can spend the rest of my life with than be surrounded by people who made me feel like crap.

Nice tips !

I’ve never been on one date with a man that was a good listener. Never! Made it easy. I just had to sit there and look enthralled

Courtney I am really appreciate everything you do. God bless you and your loved ones.

🥰🙏🥰 such nice words to use 😇

I'm in the way of understanding that I used to talk a lot as a sort of automatic defense mechanism. It takes the "work" of owning more of your own locus of control and gaining the needed perspective to see that you are actually doing this to begin reversing this near-automatic process and begin to pause long enough to yield the "floor" so that others can have an opportunity to speak. It's hard-- at first. It'll take practice to get good at, but it can be done.

I just love how you click a selfie for every thumbnail.

No dislike after 3 days? waow... BTW quality content Courtney. Keep it up.!

Courtney, love your content, I wanted to add a male perspective to one of the turn-offs. Women often use “poor communication” to mean “prioritizes information over listening and empathy.” Men naturally tend to focus on the words being said, and often forget the rhythm of an engaging conversation. Women are naturally better at communicating in a way that includes the other person and makes them feel positive. So, when telling guys to “communicate better” you should add that you need to focus on the other person more instead of the content of your words, and use active listening 👍

I think it’s okay to ask firsts what they are looking for, because if you hear they are looking for casual then being more flirty can help

Great Video! Thx...

Great advice ty

Wrong move #6: marriage. Gentlemen never get married. You stand a 50% chance of losing half your assets and you'll pay alimony for countless years. It offers nothing except potential financial devastation. Long term healthy relationships are ideal but marriage is a fool's errand. I'm 44, I've met way to many men broken in half financially and emotionally by divorce. Women initiate 70% to 90% of divorces because they're difficult to satisfy and are rewarded with half of everything you've worked for. You deserve better. Live for yourself and keep your financial health and happiness instead.❤👍

Thanks for being fair.

I struggle with #4 to this day, very crucial and can be tricky if you're inexperienced.

I fully agree with the content, love it! Just wanted to comment on the guy talking all about himself. I've talked with many different women who never ask ME any questions. I love learning about them, but they end up barely knowing me.

When you get a chance, do a reaction video to Kezia Noble, Anna Jorgensen and Jessica J. Kezia and Anna are both self aware and deliver the no b.s. truth about women. Dan Bacon is another good one you should check out because he delves deep into the psychological aspects of what works with women and why it works

I’ve been watching u for a while and you’re approaching the 2nd wall. I never thought there was god dam

These are really helpful. Honestly a lot of us men when we’re younger need a lot of therapy

"Being a good communicator" can applied to women as well. There's one time I went to a date with a girl who, I think, not good at communication and talking about her whole life at our first date. At that point I understood the feeling of a woman who have to succumb to a 'talk-a-lot' guy on the date, completely....

I'm doing the one right thing, not acknowledging them at all LOL that instantly negates all issues involving women!

A big one I notice that guys need to stop is expecting the girl/woman to like them, simply because they did favors for them. When it doesn't turn out the way they wanted it to, they get upset.

Hello Courtney, love your channel. Some things I wish western women would understand (disclaimer: I just want to say that I love women, men should never abuse women, and men and women are perfect compliments to each other when there is a mutual “RESPECT”) : #1- there are good men out there that still want a real relationship but have been painted with a broad broad brush with all the bad experiences from the Chads and Tyrones that women typically fall for in the beginning of their dating experience and then there is incurred baggage most of us “good guys” would rather not deal with, so we choose to continue to date younger women or stay casual for life. #2- men are still expected to be traditional and women are not. #3- men do not want to hear that you want kids on a first date. #4- it’s absolutely ok to be single mom, but be patient, that’s a big potential commitment out the gate. #5- Please listen to us. Don’t always be on the offensive. There are still good men out there. We are already unfairly presumed to be a “player” or playing games due to your poor choices in men in the past. #6- please don’t label us misogynistic if we have a different opinion than yours. That’s akin to throwing the race card to win an argument because the argument wasn’t really substantial. #7- we don’t like to compete with or date women with male characteristics. We like femininity. We can get bro time with our friends. #8- marriage is a terrifying topic to any man because we have everything to lose. Statistics don’t lie. Favorability towards women is drastically skewed. When women get bored, get an itch, or feel they can do better, they can jump ship at any time and come out much better than they came into marriage with. #9- men can identify red flags as well. That is why ghosting occurs. #10- you will not find a good man on Tinder. We are working on our purpose. Try the gym, book store, training seminar, museums, etc. #10- if you haven’t read Steve Harvey’s book, read it. He’s right on most things, some are outdated. Peace n’ Love.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Even though I know this stuff I have a tendency to do all the clingy and lovebombing types of things especially after my divorce. Thank you as being reminded these are bad helps to reinforce what I need to work on and not blame anyone else for the failures I cause.

Love your shirt - where did you get it?

Steven Colbert once asked 50Cent; " who should pay for the first date?" 50 replied " whoever's idea it was to go on the date" I agree

thank you this was good advice I hope I can remember it all . seem like a very nice person .

Yeah I think for most part I do all these things. Mainly because I always forget, and mainly because my memory is not always that great and social skills not good because of me having autism. But still a great video, and agree with her a lot. And we can always try harder to improve little by little.

Sellar vid as always! You’re truly my daily news! 🗞

Wonderful video

A lot of us got a problem with instant gratification I know I do but I’m a lot better with it since I noticed it 👌🏿💯

It is irritating to be told about being too needy from people who might behave the same way if they didn't have as many options as they do (as you yourself pointed out in your video about why dating sucks).

This is all based on texting on smartphones and internet. Just speak to her in person. No cell phones, no Internet.

I agree with all of your points here. I believe that I may come on a little bit strong at times....just a little bit. As for dates, I always plan them. The only time I will not is when she wants to do something, and ask me if I want to join her.

Your awesome Courtney! A modern sensei.