reminder: your personality and fashion sense is not a gender

But fashion isn't the same thing as gender

Just cuz you don't aline with gender stereotypes and expectations for your sex, that dose not make you a different gender or sex.

I identify as nothing I'm not even here

Play it safe..... just call everyone "mate".... you're welcome.

Not being a masculine man or a feminine woman doesn't mean you are a new gender. There is no cookie cutter definition of what traits a man or woman should be like. It's called being yourself for a reason. Not being a stereotypical man or woman and saying that you are not a man because you like to wear dresses is just enforcing the stereotypes that you can't be a man and like dresses too.

To a degree, I relate to this. Even though I present male, "being a man" means nothing to me. It feels weird calling myself "cis", because that feels like an acknowledgment of a gender role I don't actually care about. But since nobody questions my gender, and I'm fine with male pronouns, it just hasn't been a struggle for me.

I personally feel that the more labels we use, the more we divide our society and create more distance from each other.

Lord, give me the power to not look at the comments.

" Being non binary means I have the freedom to wake up and spike my hair and be punk" huh?? who doesn't have that freedom?? Im not trying to be rude I looked this up to understand what non binary is and im more confused. Im genuinely trying to learn.

This makes no sense

"A lot of people think we're transitioning for some reason." Woah, what a crazy thought that is. (Sarcasm.)

I’m more confused than before I watched this video

I’ve been googling non binary stuff for the past few hours and I am absolutely beyond confused. I’m looking it up because I DO want to make an attempt to understand other people and who they are but I’m more confused than before I started looking it up. I feel bad but at least I’m making a genuine effort and not just judging and degrading these people Edit: 356 replies later (trying to read all of them) didn’t help a lot :D. I feel I’m destined to just NOT get it. Sorry :(

i think these might have been the bullies in school who would call a girl a boy for not wearing make-up or a boy a girl for playing with barbies.

I feel like a lot of them are using the terms “male” and “man” interchangeably, but correct me if I’m wrong…a (biological) male is a human-being born with male genitalia. You can’t choose your biological sex (male/female), but you can choose your gender identity (man/woman/non-binary). Personally, I don’t see why you’d need a different gender in order to express your individuality. I’ve always been a more feminine guy (probably cuz I’m gay lol), but I never hated being called a man. It’s so crazy how our current society places so much focus on how we “identify,” but why does it matter if we are called a “man” or “woman”? They are just words that describe two types of human: one with male genitalia and one with female genitalia. Yes, we tend to perceive men as masculine and women as feminine, but no one said you can’t be a man and present as more feminine and vice versa. I didn’t mean to write an essay, but that’s just how I feel when it comes to gender identity. Sorry if I offended anyone.😅

I completely respect their rights but I have no idea what’s going on here

Wait, so now that I understand these labels they make even less sense to me than they did before. I’m a guy, born with a pp, but I have behavior that’s not “traditional” male. I don’t know why doing some stuff or wearing some colors/clothing would have to be gender specific. According to these people I’d be non-binary but nah I’m just a guy who likes some stuff that’s traditionally seen as something for women only.

What if I say I believe I'm a cat. Call me whiskers. Don't assume I'm a guy or girl. I identify as a cat. Also you need to adapt to my mental issues. Multi species bathrooms now

Whatever people identify as all I hope is they’re happy with themselves it’s so sad to see someone’s already struggling with themselves struggle even more because of how society is..

I feel these people focus on the gender stereotypes even more. Who said women can’t wear pants without still being a woman? Masculine and feminine is not the same as gender

What I honesty don't get is this: One the one hand these groups of people emphasize that gender stereotypes should be discarded. That wearing a dress doesnt make you less masculine and that not wearing make-up doesnt make you less feminine etc. On the other hand they still use these stereotypes to say they dont belong to either gender. They say because they feel more male one day and more feminine the other, they do not belong to a gender. But look, this is a contradiction. You cant oppose these stereotypes and then use them as an argument to make your point. It just doesnt make sense. And besides, EVERYONE has fluctuating feelings about how feminine/masculine they feel. One day you in full disney-princess mode and the other you just wanna get your hands dirty. Its called being an individual... Am I missing something here? Please tell me if I do. Because I honestly dont get this.

binary code, code used in digital computers, based on a binary number system in which there are only two possible states, off and on, usually symbolized by 0 and 1. Whereas in a decimal system, which employs 10 digits, each digit position represents a power of 10 (100, 1,000, etc.), in a binary system each digit position represents a power of 2 (4, 8, 16, etc.). A binary code signal is a series of electrical pulses that represent numbers, characters, and operations to be performed. A device called a clock sends out regular pulses, and components such as transistors switch on (1) or off (0)

Oh, lord. They are so confused. Language is not their friend. Nor is logic.

My only problem with this video is that they kinda display non-binary folks as people who simply wanna be different or unique or just dress non-gendered. That's really not what it's all about. I liked Feng's way of explaining what non-binary is. It has nothing to do with clothing, makeup or just expression. I loved Feng's explanation.

The non-binary people in this vid: "Why can't people just not associate fashion and personalities with genders?" Also them: "I don't dress like men or women, so therefore, I'm neither :))))))" Sidenote: I'm not saying non-binary people don't exist, just that fashion isn't what defines your gender. If you wanna identify as a guy, gal, neither, or even both then you do you!

I don't identify with paying income taxes

I identify as a Chicken Tender

I have no clue what is happening here. None. But I wish everyone well.

Clothes and personality don’t determine your gender, it depends on how you feel.

If it means different things to different people then it has no real meaning.

Genuinely curious if hormone levels affect our emotions and expression? And if so, does having different levels of hormone secretion in our system partly decide how we feel in terms of sexuality?

“One thousand years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me.”

I was looking for coding tutorials. I’m not upset just confused.

Most of this comment section seems to have ignored the philosophy, and a lot of people seem fixated on the changing clothes. There’s also the using of inaccurate terms/using terms interchangeably which I think is super confusing people, because a lot of these basic premises I’ve read are wrong. I think the core of the confusion relates to people not understanding how/why gender norms/expectations are a social construct, along with gender itself. Personally after watching the video, I guess I can feel valid identifying as Non-binary because it’s been a developing idea in my mind for the past few years. For all my life, I’ve identified as a cisgender man or for the laymen, “a normal guy.” ⭐️I’d like to share my experience and understanding of this so maybe all y’all who are confused can understand too.⭐️ I feels like we have to be careful with our terms here because this is the part that people get confused at. Cisgender means identifying with the gender normative to your sex. There exist the two binary sexes (male and female) and a range of intersex sexes and chromosomal configurations, just called “intersex.” Biological sex is a consequence of evolution on Earth. There ALSO exists a binary gender system. Man and woman. I want you to think of gender as a role/act. A way of behaving subconsciously. The typical trend for most of humanity has been humans born biologically male to identity with being a “boy/man” and humans born biologically female to identify with being a “girl/woman.” If you’re confused, ask yourself, “what is masculinity?” And “what is femininity?” They’re really just recurring behaviors seen in society, traced all the way back to the first human tribes. Gender is a result of groups of people/societies, which IS also a result of evolution since binary gender is simply an expression of binary sex (ex: “men are providers and leaders of the family” (like many mammals) or “women are the caretakers and followers in the family”(like many mammals). Being a man or a woman comes from tradition. Different cultures have different conscious and subconscious expectations for their male and female parts, and thus you have binary gender: the expression of that. Man and Woman. Gender is a social construct because a two year old being told biological/male-he is a boy/little-man, the tot doesn’t really have a choice in questioning does he? Ans how could he question it when it’s reinforced everywhere he goes in the form of norms and expectations. These are the expectations/norms/behaviors men and women expect from themselves and from the opposite sex. The specific examples vary form culture to culture and generation to generation but the think of it as the still- existing, old school, conservative philosophy where the problems don’t come from what you should do, but more so form what you SHOULDN’T do. Artificial limitations and privileges. “Girls should be well behaved; boys are expected to act out” (why are more passes being given to boys for bad behavior, but some people act like we’re still in the 17th century enforcing “lady-like behavior”) “Assertive women are unfeminine and are "bossy," "bitches”” (but in men, assertion is usually a desired quality) “Women are expected to cover up because it’s distracting to men” (which puts the responsibility on the women, rather than men for their own behavior) “Boys shouldn’t wear dresses.” (Cause it’s “gay”? Who cares, unless you’re bothered by a deviation in your worldview) “Boys shouldn’t play with dolls.” (Cause it’s feminine? Who cares? Nurturing can make boys more empathetic) “Men are too impersonal and not emotionally apt to take on tasks "better done by women"” (cause they have to “be a man” and “not show weakness”) Those are just six examples but we experience the social construct in different places: - “men’s” clothes vs “woman’s” clothes in stores (not male and female clothes) - Advertising and branding to men and woman (it’s a meme at this point lol) - “Boy toys” and “girl toys” at McDonalds - Movies involving a battle of the sexes or a joining of them We grow up with all of this, so it’s normal to us. We have a general idea of what “women” and more like and what “men” are like. Now this isn’t to say that girls can’t do motocross and boys can’t do ballet. I’m actually a glad few commenters have pointed that out. And no, it doesn’t mean that girl or boy is non-binary. That’s the case because they choose to keep that identity, while expanding past the stereotypes and social norms associated with their gender. This is proof that society is starting to notice that gender is a construct and that the boxes that we categorize our male and female counterparts in are not fixed in tradition. The LBGTQ+ movement (at its core) is an acknowledgment of the social construct that is gender and letting people be whoever they really are in life and not feel ashamed for being different or not going with flow their society expects from them. ⭐️This is why gender is on a spectrum and there can be infinite genders. To be non binary means not playing the game of life with two options. Binary gender gives just two roles/ways of behaving that have been reused by every culture since humanity began. Many people share the same philosophy of how they want to present themselves to the world, and man and woman are viable experiences and many people are ok with that. That’s perfectly fine. However, while I believe in the science of biological classification, I also believe in accepting people’s experiences and self image. If the pieces don’t fit, you don’t have to play with them. Hope that clear it up?

I sent an email to 2 colleagues of mine and used the language "Good morning ladies". Next thing I know I am being called by HR for my "gross and descriminatory language". Turns out one of them had come out as binary (I didn't know) and was really offended at the term "ladies". They asked I apologize but I refused because I simply didn't know. All I wanted to know was where our meeting had been moved to.

I'm confused. Can't you be a biological man/woman and just wear/act however you want? I can still refer to you as he/she in conversation for simplicity and clarity but you can wear whatever you want and act however you want. You can be a literal man but not have to act like a conventional man according to traditional roles.

you can always wear whatever you want, even if you are binary !!!

I identify as "Confused" after watching this.

Simply put and I quote Prince's lyrics: I'm not a woman I'm not a man I am something that you'll never understand. You just are and that should be enough.

What I am wondering: If being non-binary means you cannot identify with being male/female, because of the societal norms of what it means to be male/female. Aren't you a part of confirming these social norms by fleeing to be non-binary instead of just changing the social norms and saying just because I am biologically male/female doesn't mean I'm this/that? If you categorise yourself, but say you hope the future will be less categorizing, then aren't you a part that it's moving backwards and people having an even tighter idea of gender-categories? I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means being Non-binary these days. I‘d like to hear proper philosophical talks about it. I mean well. I want to understand it and discuss without being disrespectful to anyone.

This takes “If you can’t convince them, confuse them” to a whole new level. For someone who claims to have no gender, they know all about what male and female gender roles are while how they are free from all that.

My best friend came out as non binary a couple of days ago and I came here trying to understand things. This video just made it 5x more confusing.

For people who reject society's archetypes for masculinity and femininity, these people have a pretty stereotypical view of what it means to be a man or a woman.

I am a curious person and I came here to learn, but this doesn't make any sense. Why can't you be a masculine female or visa versa? Why should the way you like to dress or the people you feel comfortable around have any impact on your gender? Just feel some of these people are "rebelling" from the really old fashioned definitions of male and female by putting themselves into another box. Why do people need to make it black and white isn't that what makes people so interesting and unique?

Edith Fiore wrote a whole book on how she treated people like this as a psychologist; it's called, "spirit possession." All she did was tell the deceased spirit to leave the "physical human" alone, and her client, soon afterwards, identified as the sex as what he or she was born with at birth. The book is fascinating and called, "The Unquiet Dead." The high suicide and depression rates of non-heterosexual people says it all, which should tell a person that being non-binary, LGBQT, is not exactly a healthy lifestyle according to statistical records. In the book, her clients explain that they often got "spirit possessed" in hospitals when undergoing surgeries. Every school should have Edith Fiore's book in their library as it would be helpful to many "confused" people. Real "Christians, Buddhists, or Hindus" don't usually go outside the heterosexual lifestyle because prayers protect people from "evil, deceased spirits." We all can get spirit possessed when overly angry, depressed, unforgiving, or whatever; however, when we pray about the situation, we're often led to what to do or what thoughts to tell ourselves to get over our negative emotional states. To me, it I met any of the above people in person and they told me these things, my first instinct would want to be, "run, get away from this person as fast as I can, something is seriously wrong with them." The people in the video sound like they think they are so "right," and everyone around them should just change because they said so. That is not the real world and I only wonder what future employers would think if they heard this kind of talk from a potential employee. If a person is "confused" about what is "between their legs" and what his/her feelings are about it, what other bigger things in life is she/he confused about and how are they going to stay focused enough to just do their job and not pester everyone around them about the use of "their preferred pronouns."

a lot of them seem to be focusing on the external appearance of being non binary and trying to merge gender expression and gender identity into one, when that’s not really something you can do. identifying as non binary is something that’s done 100% internally. however you can choose to dress and express yourself however you want as a non binary person, just as you are allowed as a cis or trans person. keep in mind that nonbinary people aren’t just “girls with short hair” or “men wearing lipstick”. there is nowhere that says non binary people have to appear androgynous, nor must they conform to both feminine and masculine traits or neither at all. the point of identifying as non binary is because you don’t fit into those neatly-divided roles in the first place. at the end of the day, we identify with the labels that feel most comfortable to us, because we know our own minds better than anybody else. please keep your own mind open, as well. i think you’ll find things to be much clearer and overall optimistic, if you do.

I had never heard of non-binary until today. Without trying to sound rude, I'm literally trying to understand all of this but I'm more confused. (edit 10-14-20) I would just like to thank everyone who gave me their time to explain what non binary means to them. We live in rough times and 2020 has been a year I will never forget. I hope and pray that 2021 will bring us all more enjoyment and comfort.

Haven’t met any of these types in real life. I only hear about them on social media.

I don't identify my self as a human, I'm a chicken now. TokTok ko tok

I think the fact that 99% of their choice of identity is directly related to their fashion sense says that society failed by falsy associating gender with appearance, and being intolerant towards anyone that may express interest and passion in the other gender's style and beauty concept. we've misgendered objects and trends, not people.

Anyone else think these people are massively sexist? To think a man that wears make up cant therefore be a man, or a woman that likes beer and cars must be a bloke?? This is so stereotypical

Stop confusing who you bloody are….. Your either gay, straight or bi-sexual. Figure out who you would like to be and stick with that…..😌

I don’t get it when they say I feel like a woman or I feel like a man because there isn’t a feeling for any of them

Imagine thinking you're so progressive but you still believe in old gender roles

you can reject the gender roles but rejecting the "gender" ? I don't understand..

I don't understand why, for the people in the video, fashion sense or sexual orientation is what defines their gender. I am a woman who identifies as a woman. Yes, I dress and look like most women, but that's not the only or most important aspect of my gender identity. Actually, it's the one that changes the most because I dress what I want. But my appearance is less important when it comes to thinking of me as a woman. The woman I am is capable of taking risks, of thinking for herself, of choosing a partner according to her expectations (intelligent, independent and respectful), constantly self-training in critical thinking skills, participating in public life to improve the environment, can live on her own money. She, the woman I am, has her own house and a car, has two careers, and so on. Using she/her while describing myself means nothing. I'm a woman for what comes after the pronoun. I reject the idea of changing those pronous for people to see that I can do "just for men" things. It gets complicated because I fight against stereotypes about femininity by living as free as possible. To clear thinks up, "being a woman" is not a restricted way of living, and people in the video shouldn't pigeonhole gender based on people's sense of fashion or sexual orientation. I do most of the things that women in my context weren't supposed to do several years ago, because those activities or ways of living were only for men. For the future I would like that every woman get to choose their best life posible, even if it means doing "manly things", until the entire society understands that driving, parenting or working are HUMAN beings activities.

A lot of what some of them were saying boils down to gender roles. Especially when the dude was talking about men and women's clothes. You can wear womens clothes as a man and it would be wonderful to want acceptance for doing so although it doesn't have to mean you aren't male or female. Im not sure I can agree that gender has nothing to do with biology. How can you "not feel like a woman"? Do you mean that you don't feel feminine? Or you don't fit in with gender roles or other women around you? There is no real criteria for being a man or woman except for biology. You can be WHOEVER you want and still be a woman.

Sounds like, "just being you..." to me... You're not a woman, you're not a man, just be you and don't put so much pressure into what others are going to say. Just be you.

okay i know this sounds crazy but hear me out. what if i told you that you can express yourself different ways while being one gender?

Blessed to be born in the late 80s 🙌 feel terrible for any child born in 2010 or above yall Brian washed beyond repair it's sickening and wrong!

i don't give a rats & it's the height of narcissism that people think I should care

They are literally explaining they are non confirming to gender roles and stereotypes

What I don’t understand is why you have to identify as non binary to fully express yourself

I’m crying of laughter in Gay* I felt like watching a comedy short film 💀💀😂😂 these people are absurd

I remember saying in 2010, I miss the 90s, now in 2023, I miss 2010. What happened to society? It’s a biological fact, your interests, your desires, your fashion sense, your demeanour and your disposition have absolutely no effect on your biology. There is no such thing as non binary, it’s a figment of imagination. I truly worry that there are clearly not enough real problems for these people so they overthink everything. But that’s what happens when you’re raised by a device instead of a human being.

“I like to wear makeup so I’m not a man” it sounds just so sexist...

So it’s all about fashion? That’s what I got from this

I wonder who would you go to visit if you need to, an urologist or gynecologist?

No, I am not confused. Sorry, but they seem confused. They confuse appearance and behaviour with anatomy/sex.

Why are you putting a label on it just call it being yourself

I’m failing to understand this. I’ve talked to several people about this and none of them could explain it. If you don’t feel any sexual attraction to any sex then you’re basically asexual. If you’re male (for example) how do you know you don’t FEEL like a female if you haven’t ever been female? I’m genuinely trying to understand this but it just makes no sense. 09.01.22 edit: thanks for the replies everyone, i'm not trying to understand this anymore because it makes me feel like I'm degrading.

It feels like people identify as non-binary because of gender stereotypes, it feels like it has nothing to do with gender itself. Could someone please tell me why or what is different? I want to learn more about it to understand it better and I do respect it, I just want to learn more about it.

As an enby, this video COMPLETELY got the definition of nonbinary wrong. Gender is NOT based on clothing. You can be masc or femme presenting and be nonbinary, and you can be GNC and still be a binary gender. Being nonbinary isn't just wearing funky clothing. It's about how you feel, not how you present.

When you hit random on create character

I have issues with people acting Non Binary, if they tell me I gotta leave.

Autism is now treated as a spectrum disorder and no matter where you fall on that spectrum, you are diagnosed autistic. Every different variation within that spectrum used to have many different names. Aspergers etc.. It became so difficult naming all the differences they decided to just stick to Autistic. It needs to go the same way with gender issues and just call these people gender confused. Most of them change their minds as they grow up anyway.

I think life would be a lot easier if we all just greeted rooms of people with "avast ye scurvy lads" Edit: Before you get smart about the gendering of "lad", Google dictionary says that in ye olde British, lad can mean a stable worker *regardless of age or sex*. Something to consider before you start ruining a joke.

I never wake up in the morning and feel like a woman even though I am. I don’t even think about it, it doesnt cross my mind. I don’t feel a societal pressure to be a strict definition of female I don’t feel there is one in the west. I feel I can wear what I want and do my make up how I like. I don’t care that much about fashion. I wear and do whatever makes me feel like me not a woman. I still don’t understand non binary?? I feel they are putting all of these restrictions into the terms male and female.

At the risk of making people angry - I feel that if "non-binary" can mean 5 different things according to 5 different people then I don't know if this idea has a solid foundation and you can't really blame people for being confused and not getting it. I mean, I'm here to learn but lets be honest, mathematics and chemistry haven't come as far as they have by different scientists giving different interpretations of what 2+2 equals, or different "feelings" of what the element Boron is. This sounds awful to say (or type) but if it can mean different things depending n who you ask then...it sounds like people are just making stuff up.

1:45 I disagree that men's and women's sections in clothing shops are dictating what people 'need' to wear. Businesses work by meeting the demands of the consumer. Most people would prefer the clothing traditionally associated with males and females to be in separate sections, purely for ease of navigation. You're free to buy and wear clothes from whichever section you like.

I’m more confused than I was before 😭

I Identify as a Basketball 🏀

Five narcissists explain what non-binary means to people who live in La La Land.

7:07 the fucking irony of this statement sums up the whole fashion trend.

But you are quite literally categorizing yourself by identifying as these things... so I dont understand how you can tell people to stop categorizing. This is all so confusing to me.

People are not non-binary.. they just have wayyyy more free time than anyone else..❤

7:09 you say that we need to stop categorizing, but you do the same exact thing

It's weird, I'm in between completely respecting these people and the idea of gender being a fluid identity, and then the other half of my brain is just snorting internally and not being able to take this seriously.

your moods are non binary not yor physical flesh... one day im angry, one day im happy, one day im really happy, another day i feel such as such but the flesh remains flesh...

“As soon as I leave New York, people are calling me man.” The horror.

I actually know even less about “binary” now than I did before I spent 7 minutes being open minded

Coming from a non binary person. Clothes don’t make people non binary, activities don’t make people non binary. Wear what you want and do what you want as long as it’s not hurting people. For me being non binary is more just hating being gendered it’s not about what clothes I wear or activities I do or like. Gender identity and gender expression are two different things

My poor old mother asked her grandchild if she’d had a boy or a girl? ‘Oh no! You’re not allowed to ask that’ was the reply. The look on her face. Bloody idiots!

Since I now identify as nonexistent - I'm no longer paying my taxes.

The problems that you have when you have no problems.

I like how that dude specifically said that he approaches *gay* men. He didn't just say men. Homie knows he's a dude.

"As a nonbinary person I can wear any length shorts I want." Um what? Is there a law I'm unaware of that says you can't? Your problem is with fashion, not gender lol ffs this is a new level of dumb.

They’re…..they’re just describing having a personality. You can be a chick and still want a dude haircut and vice versa.

5:35 "No one really knows how to deal with you. And, whether their allowed to be attracted to you, really." 🥺 That sounds painful, and I wish them lots of love and support. The reason I am here is because I have a crush on someone who uses they/them pronouns and considers themselves to be queer. I don't care what is in there pants as long as it is healthy and is the way they want it to be. I feel in love with their personality, not their crotch. Whatever is in their pants is just a nice suprise. Edit: Fixed my grammer and the time stamp.