Very good information in there. It’s a skill no many people have. I struggle with it even at age 53. Understanding how we feel and then communicating that is very hard. As always, thank you for what you do here. You’re a positive influence in the ADHD community and I hope you keep it up for a long time.

I think a good thing to remember with assertive communication is that it takes two willing people to have an open conversation about your feelings. If the person you are trying to communicate with isn't willing to work with you or listen with an open mind then sometimes the best assertive communication tool is to walk away from that person, even if it's hard.

I appreciate how your videos/editing style always make me feel like I'm listening playback speed 1.5x... Straight to the point!

I am assertively telling you that this video is awesome! Thank you!

I try to have assertive communication... but generally I just end up crying 😅😭

What you do is really something amazing. As someone who struggles with ADHD it’s great to finally have a place where I can learn to cope with things with effective strategies and feel less alone with what I’m going through. It’s not often I see channels like these that address ADHD and express those things in the way that you do. It’s done a ton. Please keep doing what you love and take care of yourself! Thank you so much

My Psychiatrist suggested I think about the questions I'm asking, and try to get to the REAL question that's buried in there under some of the assumptions being thrown on top of it implicitly by the phrasing of the question. So I think "what's the REAL question I'm trying to ask?" Also, my Psychiatrist told me to pay attention to what I'm doing when I'm struggling with something, and ask myself why I'm struggling and how I can make it easier on myself. For example, I was trying to write this advice down on an index card on my lap. He noticed I was struggling to write, and slipped a clipboard underneath the index card. I told my Psychologist about the experience (I'm getting lots of help these days!), he loved it and suggested I think of it this way: "Where's my clipboard?" (aka "how can I make this easier"). Just wanted to share. This video is so promising. I really hope people can learn from this.

The last episode really made me think, because my girlfriend is very selfless and always apologizing. So I asked her what does SHE need immediately after we watched it. She didn't know what I was talking about, because she was half asleep. I asked her what was the last thing she remembered, and it was "Hello Brains." 😅 We're working on it.

I've learned to compromise really well since I was a child. I think I learned it to deal with a mom who was super anxious who could sometimes explode when discussing feelings. What I learned through that and future relationships is taking everyones perspective into account so often thatI forget my own and often forget how I feel until way later. This is probably where journaling comes in handy. Really examining how you feel and why. Brain dumps in your BuJo are great for this because they are often straight to the point. "I cooked dinner again. I like cooking but not always. Wish he would cook more." The brain dump boils down the feeling to the point and you can pick what you really need/feel before you bring it up again.

I am so happy your posting more often:) love your channel

Somehow whatever you make a video about is just what I need at the time! Thanks so much, Jessica!

Oh how I wish this was uploaded yesterday! I had been feeling anxious about my friendship with a really close friend, and I ended up talking to her yesterday. The situation turned out fine and we’re okay, but these tips would’ve helped me express my feelings a little better instead of making me sound insane. Now I know these tips for the future! Thank you for everything you do to help us Brains handle ADHD better.

It was so huge for me when I started to learn to recognize the difference between feelings and interpretations! One tip I learned: If you say a sentence that starts with “I feel like...” or “I feel that...”, you’re expressing an interpretation and not a feeling.

Did anyone else notice the constant moving camera angles and jump cuts in her videos? I've watched this channel for over a year now, and I just realized it and it's probably done on purpose to help with our focus! I don't know if that was the intention, but it's working!

I’m always overwelmed by agressive communication by others and feel attacked by that, sooo hard to not react in an agressive way myself and then getting beyond the point of no return like you mentioned...it does a lot to hear you name the exact same struggles I have...

I'm loving your channel! The friendly character, always resting on logical statements, concise and to the point, researched, what more could you ask for. 😊

Like great movies your videos are incredibly rewatchable. This one is one that I know I will come back to many times to remind me of the skills I've needed but struggled with all my life. I can assertively say my need to be more assertive is something you're going to help me with. Like so many other things in your other videos. So thanks and keep making the content, for yourself and us, it's very much needed.

It’s incredible how communication changes everything. I am an ADHD (combined ) in Brazil, and watching your videos and reading the comments make me feel part of a community instead of alone, integrated instead weird. Here is a tip, if you can’t talk to others, try writing to yourself, with time your habit of writing will make it easier for you to chose the words better and to search your feeling more deeper. The results are great.

I feel excited about your type of content recently. It is more about awareness and mindfulness. I do also feel really curious about how your channel progresses.

I am 61 and STILL trying to figure it out🤷🏻‍♀️. Wasn’t even diagnosed until my 18 year old son was diagnosed 😳. The tips, challenges and various personal issues you share take this whole tribe one step closer to understanding ourselves better and thereby, become more understood. Thank you!

Thank you so much for Making this I never knew those things before! I have no clue how to be assertive I am a door mat lol. I never learned it.

It always feel like you post your videos just when I need them!! I’ve been having some communication problems lately with various people in my life, and I think trying to keep more of this in mind will really help me. Thank you so much for what you do!

As a person with adhd I admire so much how she uses facial expressions and talkes fast, gets to the point it helps so much Oml 🤍

just practiced assertive communication and had a very fulfilling conversation that caused me intense emotional relief... am so proud of myself! Thank you so much :)

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and your channel not only helped me recognize that I exhibited the symptoms but also helped me build the courage to seek a professional diagnosis in addition to inform my family, friends and boss! You have helped me immensely but I still have a ways to go and your videos are always a huge help! Thank you and looking forward to more in the future!

Thank you so much for posting this! I feel like I've learned these things individually at one point, but you put it in a way that really clicked for me. I'm so glad I found your channel. :)

So happy to see more of your content. Love the two part series that you are making. Glad I found your channel :) keep up the good work

I just watched every video on this channel from oldest to newest in the last 3 days. Love this channel, thank you for making it. I was just diagnosed with ADHD a few weeks ago and finding this channel made me feel better. It showed me there are others like me, and I will definitely be trying some of the tips and strategies when school starts again. I'm going to use the habit video to get myself to go walking this summer, or maybe work up to running. Thank you again Jessica and all the other brains!

i keep returning to this video everytime i face a situation that requires me to communicate with more care. it has helped and will keep helping, so, a seasoned thank you that comes from deep within my heart 🙏

You're killing it! This is good information. Thank you!

I'm super picky with my content but your channel is always delivering great quality. Every time I click on one of your videos I worry that the advice is going to be a little naive or obvious by the tone of voice and music but that's pretty much never the case. Keep it up, I love this channel

Love this! I’ve been working on it since I present often now in IEP meetings as the school psychologist! Whenever we have advocates it can be crazy, and I am learning to speak up when I need to.

Thank you - this is exactly what I needed to hear right now. What a well thought-out, intelligently presented video - and from someone so young! You really are doing the world a service. Keep up the good work!

You're good. I love the clean, crisp, and direct information I was looking for without the fluff. Thanks!

I love how practical, helpful, and informative your videos are! Thank you for taking the time to gather all of this info and put it out in a clear, concise, and easy to watch format :D

Awesome work, will be rewatching every time need an assertive reminder of where and why i am communicating well with others.

Thank you for this. I am gonna share this with people around me. As an adhd who suffers from depression I find that people around me take very good care of me. But neglect themselves. Im happy to have a way to talk to them about assertive communication. As an adhd person I struggle with different needs, but mine shouldnt outweight those of the ones I love 🌻

U r THA best! And I mean that. You make us know we are weird, or inept, or anything bad someone who doesn’t get it may interpret. And I assure you that many of us know that you’re enlightenment came after considerable internal struggle and self realisation. Thank you for guiding those of us who are on the same journey.

That was so helpful. I learned this approach from the Gottman Institute in premarital counseling. Without properly identifying our emotions, it’s easy to sound like we are criticizing our partner by saying “you do this, and you do that”. But when we actually say how we are feeling, we take ownership for our own actions which allows your partner to understand you and take ownership of their own actions. There’s not a lot of examples out there on how to properly say how you’re feeling, but this video does that! Thank you so much for being able to deliver all that information in a simpler and more applicable way! Love your videos.

Love this! This has been a part of my focus this past year. The bit about finding the need reminds me of Marshall Rosenberg and Nonviolent Communication

FINALLY! A youtuber that educates on my disorder AND speaks as fast as I do....

I've been looking for a video just like this to help my high school students with disabilities self-advocate. Thank you so much! 😊

I have to thank you for all the wonderful videos you have made; Absolutely wonderful! I am a mental health therapist and I work with young adolescents, many who have been diagnosed with ADHD. I have been using your videos for about a year now (I believe it''s been a year) to help with understanding ADHD, their symptoms as well as helping them feel not so alone. Thank you, thank you thank you! Keep up the great work.

I love the way you explain all of this. I’m absolutely horrible at being assertive, even at my age. It’s a difficult skill to learn, especially when I hate confrontation. Thank you for the new videos. I love your new brain animation!

I found your channel and started to realize how much I had in common to all of you so I went to get diagnosed and turns out I’m a part of the tribe I’ve been getting bad grades on bad grades since middle school(I’m a senior now) because I couldn’t get my work done and holy balls every since getting my prescription I feel like i can get everything done it’s still not as easy as I hoped it’d be but my god I owe this channel my life thank you :)

I have recently found your channel and I love it for all the same reasons listed by others- making it a super helpful synthesised resource! But also thank you for the awesome background music. I found myself following everything you were saying while bobbing my head to the excellent music in this video. Helps keep stimulation up!

I've always struggled with passive communication, especially in my relationship, I found out I had ADHD in 2016, and I've only just found your videos, they are a god send! Thank you so much!! 😀

Because self esteem issues are a problem with people with ADHD, I think it’s important to point out that assertion is a lot easier when you have a healthy self esteem. When you can be kind to yourself and see yourself as a valuable person who’s needs are important.

This is giving me so much clarity right now. I love this channel so much

Thank you for this tip. I have ADHD, and you’ve just been a great help to me, and the ADHD community as a whole

Thank you! Another great video! I assertively say, "You Rock!" ;-)

This was super helpful for me. I will watch it several times i think until i can take in all your hints. I 100% need to work on all you said. I know i have no idea on how to name more than about 3 of my emotions and what im feeling is mostly a mystery to me. And i struggle to even ask a customer service person in a shop where i will find an item let alone ask people for help with other needs i have. I also struggle to work out what the "real" base need i have is. I may identify "i want the dishes done by someone" but would never work out my real issue is i need more support from someone with helping with all of the housework without having to ask them to do something each time. I know this comment is rambling but i dont have a brain that works well before midday and its early morning where i live.

My teacher showed this video in class, and I had to come over here and subscribe. These are excellent points and really helped me out with expressing my feelings without feeling afraid!

I love all of your videos, they are the most helpful on this topic that I've found and thank you so much for the work you do. Plus you showed your dog so now I'm not just happy that I'm learning and understanding, I'm smiling because they're SO CUTE AGH my heart

Your vibe is so positive. I love it! Thank you for passing me the good vibe 💖

I like your Channel. Makes me feel less weird. I haven't been diagnosed with ADD but what you say makes sense and is very useful if I can remember them past the end of your video. Thanks for let me feel like I'm not the only weird ball out there

Hi luv your vids and helped me understand adhd when I was diagnosed

😂 2:06 So funny when you said annoyed & your pup annoyingly looked at the camera, amazing.

This is so well presented. I love the idea of digging deeper to figure out what you REALLY need or feel. It makes clear communication a lot easier when we have self-awareness!

Wow, I've started watching all of your videos on a daily basis, so far I've learned a lot from you. You are one of the best on KZfaq. Warm Wishes, Mehdi

This has helped me so much already in so many areas of my life. Thank you!!!

I love you so much thank you for all your videos 😭 you’ve helped me so much with my ADHD and inner growth. Greetings hugs and a lot of thanks to you from Mexico City!!

This was amazing! And very much needed. The comment of feeling secure in a relationship is huge! I tend to want to over text and I feel like I come off annoying.

Wonderful! Used this for SEL learning! Talked about assertive language in the classroom and with peers.

Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear this week.

Idk how I lived without this channel. Thank you

This is so perfect and relevant! Thank you!

Totally agree! Ever since I've started practicing mindfulness exercises, I'm more aware of my body getting tensed in certain situations and am better at avoiding useless toxic conversations. It really helps. :)

I got diagnosed when I was 12 (I turned 13 on Monday) with ADHD and your videos make thing easier to understand and I half the time get nervous or anxious around people And my friend is pretty good at being assertive I’m not :P

Great video Jess, I'll give it a second watch so I can take notes! A tip from my old Cognitive Behavioral Therapist was to write down what you want to say ahead of time to help articulate your thoughts. That way when the emotions kick in you have already rehearsed it.

I have a job that requires a lot of assertive communication. People pleasing has been a struggle, as I naturally want to please. It’s not always an option. I find in my context I have to keep reminding myself why I do the job I have and to try to separate my sense of self worth from people’s approval. This is much easier when things are going well but I still struggle when things don’t go so well. I think this is a good topic for the channel

Great work as usual. Thank you for all the videos.

Timestamps 1:05 1. Learn to recognize and name your feelings 2:26 2. Learn to recognize and name what you need 3:18 3. Start with low-stakes situations 3:49 4. Be aware of your body 4:38 5. Don’t wait

I found this to be very helpful. I'll try to implement these strategies in my life - starting now! Thank you for taking the time to make this video

Thanks once again. It's really well put to together. It's really setting off some bells for me.

Awh so clear thank you so much I love the way you presented the information and made it so simple. Eye opening 🤗🙏🏼👏🏼

Thanks for making this video. These videos you’ve made really help me feel connected to something through a part of my life that’s been persistently disconnecting me from everyone else. Also, I think you’re beautiful, and I like your voice.

I'm happy to see you making videos again. Or maybe I just missed them somehow - not sure! :) Thanks for promoting and reminding us about assertive communication and "I Messages". I agree that it doesn't come naturally but that it is really helpful at reframing things. I've found this super helpful in expressing things that I feel should be different and in re-wording friends' emails or messages to soften their anger in what they want to express to someone. On a separate note, I have to tell ya, your video about "The Wall of Awful" was spot on for me! I've never heard someone explain all the layers and guilt and dread that pile up like that before. Thank you for all you do!

I think this is the soonest I've ever been to a new video, lol. Thank you for making your videos!!! They really help me

Ted is my depression and Steven is my anxiety Sometimes it helps to just say "Shut up Steven, I don't need your opinion right now" I find naming things like that useful so I don't see it as myself, but a different person with different thoughts

This is actually really solid advice for normal and ADD/ADHD BRAINS alike. Excellent video!

Thank you for making these videos!! It really does help. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I’m so glad you’re uploading more often!! I’ve missed your channel :)

The clip from Azure Lopez is totally me as well but more along the lines of distractions with me. It has always been this way and sometimes I feel like now that I know that I am an ADHDer, I am more in tune with my behavior but feel even more irritable now that I know about it. Almost as if I am telling everyone, "Hey!! I have ADHD and your being a pain!" but I don't say it bcuz I don't want to rub people the wrong way! I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I RUB PEOPLE THE WRONG WAY and I am always apologizing for it. I love all of your videos. They have helped my family and tremendously. (My wife is a lot more understanding now and both use tips like these to even help my step daughter who is ADHD as well.) This has been a major struggle for me since I was diagnosed 2 years ago at 40. I have made some big strides in the right direction. Whenever I am feeling a little lost in my daily life, I usually come right here to see what advice you have to help me with whatever I am going through. You have made such an impact on me and I am so grateful to you and that I watched your TedTalk in the first place. Thank you so much for easing the struggle of life a little bit for all of us ADD/ADHDers!

Thank you so much for these educational videos. I know it’s meant specifically for ADHD but they are awesome principles that we can all apply. I’m sure their is a lot of hard work behind the scenes to make these videos - it shows - by the quality and content.

This is fantastic, you are doing an amazing service with these videos. Being autistic, my whole life has been trying to figure out the rules and best practice by myself, and although I feel I've definitely managed to learn skills through observation, it's hard to remember to put them in play when you don't always have the language, reasoning (beyond 'x tends to result in y'), or any true feedback from others. You may have almost convinced me to write an email to a rental agency because I need a house to live in when I move to another city (why do I feel so guilty? I know why, I just haven't figured out how to not feel guilty about doing things that I need to do) 😊

You're absolutely right and Extremely nice my lady.

Your talking speed really grabs my attention, I dont need to speed up your video. But it also means I cannot play with the quick forward and reverse button 😂. Your video is packed with information. I love it!

Dropping dimes today! It's one of the hardest steps, slowly taking your time back because your time is valuable too. To piggie back on your thoughts, not sure if any of you ran into this or maybe just haven't realized it has. But when we are supper focused and in task, I learned people think he's so intense. And angry. By the way love your new hairstyle.

I love your videos! Thank you so much!

I get super anxious about asserting my needs and thus I end up staying silent. I say I have trouble with words, but I feel like it's more that I can't control my anxiety about the situation and end up in a panic. Any tips for how to work through this process?

Thanks for this! I'm going to work on it.

thank you so much. i needed to hear this.

Thankyou so much for the video! I am working on these tips with my therapist at the moment! Yeah once I get worked up about something and don't recognise those early signs I tend to go into full angry mode or full meltdown mode depending on what the situation is.

I have watched this 3 times already. This is a great video. Thank you for making it! ♥️♥️♥️

EXCELLENT VIDEO!!! This one is most definitely making me think and analyze how I communicate. I would love more content on this and other communication skills. I often wonder if I speak English when it comes to dealing with certain people in certain situations. Side note: I love this hair style! Great job, it looks awesome on you!

I am watching this for a second time because tomorrow I will have to talk to my friend when she comes over to my place. When she comes over I make her feel at home, but lately I think she's getting a little too comfortable. LOL. I'm getting ready to write my notes for tomorrow's conversation, but I'm still feeling anxious about it. Thank you Jessica! :-)

Thank you so much. This makes sense to me. You have a super cute hair cut too!

I struggle with my assertive communication soo badly thank you for making this video I understand myself a lot better now.

Always good news, thanks Jessica!